Pelican Edition 2 2021 - Con/test

Con/test 92.2

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PRESI MILLI RILEY TORIAL TORIAL TORIAL

If you are not first, you’re last.

Moments in life can feel like they are being summed down into one tiny moment of victory or defeat. The idea of winning can drive people nuts.

Trust me, I’ve seen it all.

Those who win, bear great responsibility. As the Guild is a body composed of student representatives our responsibility is to contest the status quo, advocate for students, and demand change.

We contest ideology, policy, and practice from our university, our state, and our government leaders.

From the behaviour exposed in current Liberal Government, we have seen women across Australia rise up and speak out to challenge the Canberra ‘boys club’ and its culture.

If such insidious mistreatment of women exists at the pinnacle of representation in our country, where are its roots?

Now, it is up to us to ask for more from our representatives and enforce action.

At every level.

Some seek wisdom, some seek fish.

Whether student or bird, rarely will anything worthwhile arise without con/test.

So, Riley and I have temporarily given up throwing ourselves into con/ test on the field, and instead sought out con/tent from our creators about all the ways that contest manifests in our lives - everything from global con/flict to the little hurdles we face day-to-day.

Combining the insatiable spirit of student and bird, our hope is for this edition of Pelican to spark discussion, challenging thought, and to inspire those of us who are fortunate enough to live with relatively small battles, to use con/test to improve ourselves and situations for others.

Whether it’s dodging slide tackles in healthy competition or speaking up for those around us, let’s use con/test to make our world a better place!

Con/tests come in many forms. From the little daily fights against traffic, procrastination, or the people in our lives; to public battles for the rights and safety of women and non-binary people in our neighbourhoods or parliaments, or against the logging of old-growth forests – con/testation is a commonplace, often productive force.

So, for this edition of Pelican, we asked our creators for writing and art that represents conflict and challenge in all their forms, and also to con/test received wisdoms. Our pieces, here in print as well as online, address all the above and more.

And, most importantly, some – like the cover art from our amazing Myanmar-based artist Ei – remind us of nextlevel struggles that continue around the world for the right to freely have those kinds of daily con/tests we in WA experience.

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Contents Con/test

ARTS

FINANCE AND ECONOMICS

PHOTOGRAPHY - Childhood Con James Stanwix | Page 32

COLUMN – The Theory of Model Sentiments - Charles Fedor | Page 20

‘Suburban Encounters’ Interview with Andrea Gaynor – Ellie Fisher | Page 40

LIFESTYLE

COMEDY

COLUMN - Letters to the Editor Various | Page 16 Cartoon Holly Turner and Paris Javid | Page 17 Stuff You – Faisal Hamza and Charlie Mills | Page 63 DIVERSITY

Testing Times – Alicia Lim | Page 36 FASHION

It’s Time for a Wardrobe Makeover Kaylee Cranley | page 14

Testing our Patience: UWA Parking – Courtney Withers & Esha Jessy | Page 48 An Anecdote from an Introverted Extrovert- Kaylee Cranley | Page 50 LITERATURE AND CREATIVE WRITING

A Punctured Region – Jas Saunders | Page 44 the fifty move rule – Ellie Fisher | Page 47 MUSIC

‘The Establishment Blues’ – Jack Meakins | Page 6 Marketable Music vs Authentic Art – Owen Gust | Page 48

FILM

Define: Con/Test – Giles Chan | Page 10 Annihilation: Cosmic Horror or Cosmic Heaven? – Rachel Denham-White | Page 22 The views expressed within this magazine are not the opinions of the UWA Student Guild or Pelican Editorial Staff but of the individual artists and writers.

The Pelican team acknowledges that the UWA Campuses are located on the lands of the Whadjuk and Mineng peoples of the Noongar nation, the original and continuing storytellers and custodians of their lands. These lands were stolen, and sovereignty was never ceded.

How can YOU get involved? Join our Pelicreators 2021 Facebook group, or email the Editors at pelican@guild.uwa.edu.au 4

Sub-Editors ARTS - Matt Bryan & Natasha Brandon COMEDY - Charlie Mills & Faisal Hamza

POLITICS

ART – The Ten QMandments – Paige Bentley | Page 34 COLUMN – Politicontiki – Phoebe Levin | Page 50 Eurovision: A Tool for Peacekeeping and Protest - Luke Barber | Page 54 SCIENCE

Australia Today, Tomorrow the World – Ashlyn Woods | Page 60 SPORT

We Need to Talk About the Lack of LGBTQ+ Visibility in AFLJamieson Kay | Page 38 Thanks for Participating – Aideen Gallagher | Page 60 TECHNOLOGY AND GAMING

How Algorithms are Reshaping our Political Con/tests Ahmed Suliman | Page 52 ART

Annihilation - Pauline Wong | Page 27 Pro/test Hnin Ei Kyaw Win | Front Cover / Page 36 PHOTOGRAPHY

Parks on a Pedestal: Charles Court Reserve Ashley Browse | Page 30

DIVERSITY - Amman Bari & Cleo Robins FASHION - Emma Forsyth FILM - Amy Papasergio & Boa Antahputro ECONOMICS AND FINANCE - Brook Lewis & Charles Fedor LIFESTYLE - Courtney Withers & Jacob Cerin LITERATURE - Campbell Williamson & Elena Perse MUSIC - Jack Meakins & Lachlan Hardman POLITICS - Luke Barber & Maddi Broad SPORT - Nicholas Warrand & Lulu Suleski SCIENCE - Jack Logan & Paris Javid TECHNOLOGY AND GAMING - Ahmed Suliman Pelican Editors 2021 Riley Faulds & Millie Muroi Magazine designed by Xander Sinclair

For Pelican this year, we’re having an all-new ‘Pelican Plus’ section online for each issue.

Wherever you see this little tech-whiz pelican, there will be illustrations, diagrams, further content or exciting ideas related to that page/section. Go online to pelicanmagazine.com. au to see all the bonus content for this issue.

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The Establishment Blues:

The role of music in contesting Apartheid Jack Meakins may or may not have pierced his third nipple.

Located in the former Bantustan of Bophuthatswana lies the palace that is Sun City. Sprouting up from the lush savannah of South Africa’s North-West Province, the resort provides an idyllic escape for those wanting to forget the ennui of life in the nearby metropolises of Greater Johannesburg and Pretoria. Boasting a mix of Renaissanceesque cupolas, colonnades, and frescoes – infused with the usual furnishings of a game hunter’s paradise – one could easily mistake the resort for the setting of some Tarzan flick.

However, for many, this mistake is not far from reality. For many, this appeal to a sense of luxury in a ‘lost city’ was by no means a mere fairy-tale.

Sun City, in all its grandiosity, was a façade – intended to distract the outside world from the National Government’s policy of apartheid that facilitated it.

A term that should, perhaps, be qualified further is that of a ‘Bantustan’. Intended as somewhat of a compromise between the minority white National Government and the majority indigenous inhabitants, Bantustans – or “homelands” – were territories set aside for Southern Africa’s non-white populations.

These states – while in some sense distinct from the central National government, and thus exempt from both National censorship and international anti-Apartheid restrictions – were functionally still subjects of the 6

central, white minority state.

As a result, Sun City was able to host a menagerie of star acts over its lifetime under apartheid – as was intended. While the United Nations imposed cultural boycotts over all administrations of the National government, Sun City’s owners offered considerable financial incentives to acts – boasting appearances by names such as The Beach Boys, Linda Ronstadt and Frank Sinatra.

On the surface, this might pose no problems.

As quoted by Queen’s lead guitarist, Brian May, there’s value in indiscrimination – wanting to “play to anybody who wants to come and listen”; and why not? If live music is actively being persecuted against by the National government, and there is a demand, why not meet it? It’s hard to think there isn’t some aspect of saviour complex at play here – a complex deeply fraught when considering the explicit and systemic outcomes of the Apartheid policy.

What May might not have considered is that while Sun City was created out of a need to outmanoeuvre Apartheid era censorship, this by no means suggests it wasn’t complicit in the policy’s execution. Tickets for concerts came at a premium – by intention – with costs never accounting for the deep systemic inequalities caused by Apartheid-era policies,

Slim Dusty studied Electronic Music at UWA

barring entry as economically prohibitive to most. It is clear Sun City was never made for the inhabitants of Bophuthatswana, but instead to act as a masquerade for the National government in purporting some false sense of artistic freedom. It was beyond both Sun City’s and the National government’s gaze that the real contest was taking place.

Music, along with other modes of oral tradition, has deep historic routes throughout the African continent – long predating imperial colonialism. However, nowhere was this undermined more than by the censorship and anti-dissent laws of Apartheid-era South Africa. The National Government’s Publications Act of 1974 gave the state unrestricted agency to censor all modes of artistic expression, under the premise of targeting ‘subversive statements’ – phrases perceived to undermine the social hierarchy achieved by Apartheid policies.

While such reforms were extreme in both form and execution – music’s nature as an oral tradition afforded the mode the ability to subvert much of this legislative oppression. Oral transmission of song offered its proponents seclusion and anonymity compared to written form, allowing both artists and the South African people to collaborate rather clandestinely – promoting the use of hidden oral messages. Shifty Records’ anti-Apartheid compilation, “A

Naartjie in our Sosatie”, while literally translated from Afrikaans as ‘a mandarin in our kebab”, was used as a partial-homonym for “anarchy in our society”, a statement otherwise rendered as subversive. The tradition also made the production and consumption of music relatively low-barrier, and enjoyable without the unequal economic and literacy-related symptoms of Apartheid policies.

While its nature as an oral tradition facilitated the mode’s strength as a relatively ‘free’ form of expression under such stringent censorship laws, it was – rather undoubtedly – the poetic and other stylistic components of music that drove its anti-Apartheid sentiment. Lyrical content, whether explicitly ‘subversive’ or – as in Shifty Records’ case – a little more subtle, was pivotal in catalysing the anti-Apartheid movement at large. An often-cited example of this is the popularity of American singersongwriter Sixto Rodriguez. The artist’s sombre dissatisfaction with ‘the establishment’ combined with hopeful allusions to social progress through ‘people power’; titles such as ‘The Establishment Blues’ and ‘because’ both resonated with the struggles of the victims of Apartheid policies, as well as giving them a peaceful and anthemic rally cry – an effect much unbeknownst to him.

How To Make Friends At Uni: Silently Read Pelican

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“Garbage ain’t collected, women ain’t protected Politicians using, people they’re abusing The mafia’s getting bigger, like pollution in the river And you tell me that this is where it’s at.”

– Rodriguez, ‘The Establishment Blues’ (1970) Furthermore, poetic and stylistic choices gave victims the ability to outwardly respond to Apartheid-era atrocities, such as the 1976 Soweto Massacre, which saw thousands of black schoolchildren subject to an undignified and abhorrent display of police brutality. The stylistic choices of Miriam Makeba’s title, ‘Soweto Blues’, reflected the deeply melancholic and despairing response of both the residents of Soweto, and victims of Apartheid at-large – a starkly nonviolent response when juxtaposed against the explicit and visible acts of force under the National Government and its agencies.

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“Benikuphi ma madoda, Abantwana beshaywa?

Ngezimbokodo Mabedubula abantwana?

Benikhupi na?” [“where were the men, when the children were throwing stones? when the children were being shot where were you?”]

– Miriam Makeba, ‘Soweto Blues’ (1977) [translation provided] But perhaps the most important role music had to play in contesting Apartheid is somewhat more conceptual or incorporeal: its propensity to bring people together in cooperation. Apartheid, at heart, was a policy instituted to divide and isolate its people upon racial lines – socially, culturally and economically. However, music – as somewhat of a universal and communitarian concept – had the means to transcend Apartheid’s rigid

The magpies on Oak Lawn attend more lectures than you

ideals of how society ought to be structured; a reality even Sun City – a towering reflection of the rigidity of Apartheid South Africa’s elite – could seldom avoid. Artists United Against Apartheid, a group of some of the biggest names on the international stage at the time (Bob Dylan, Bono to name a couple), released the aptly named Sun City – a scathing yet anthemic ensemble, encapsulating a sense of both cooperation and solidarity with victims of Apartheid from the international community.

However, just as Sun City – with its palmlined oases and ornate chandeliers – still stands, so too do the lingering effects of half a century of racial degradation, subordination, and hostility. Although the age of Apartheid policy is over, it would be somewhat of an injustice to assert its effects are seldom being felt today. So, while many people worldwide continue to fall victim to oppressive societal norms and attitudes, just remember:

“This system’s gonna fall soon to an angry young tune, And that’s a concrete cold fact.”

– Sixto Rodriguez, “The Establishment Blues” (1970) Author’s note: while only a few examples were given due to print constraints, the abundance of anti-Apartheid music – whether directly, or as in the case of Rodriguez, tangentially – is incredibly expansive and diverse. What I have provided is only a small subsection, and is not exhaustive nor wholly representative – a fact that should be acknowledged.

Share your course notes, risk-free, on pelicanmagazine.com.au

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Define: Con/Test

noun /ˈkɒntɛst/ an article written for Pelican in which an enthusiastic cinephile tests notorious convicts from cinema against each other

By Giles Chan

Le Samouraï

Heat

Jean-Pierre Melville (1967)

Michael Mann (1995)

The highly revered neo-noir film, Le Samouraï, is possibly one of the ‘manliest’ pieces of fiction ever put to film. Not manly in the way of surfing or driving loud motorcycles, but in the way of repressing your emotions and living as sparingly as possible. Alain Delon plays Jef Costello, a sharply dressed and ruthless hitman who is seen leaving a club where he has killed the owner and provides a series of alibis to try and acquit himself.

Robert De Niro is a robber, and Al Pacino is a detective trying to catch him in the act.

It’s a game of cat and mouse, but also mouse and cheese; because the money being stolen is the cheese and De Niro is the mouse. So, it’s a game of cat and mouse and cheese. But Pacino is also evading the affections of his exwife and daughter in the film so if you really give it some thought it’s actually a game of tertiary predator and cat and mouse and cheese.

Costello maintains a cool composure as the police continue to encircle on him and his demeanour could be said to exemplify the stoic masculine male. Accompanied by a strikingly handsome soundtrack composed

by François De Roubaix, the titular samurai faces the rises and pitfalls of living such a life - akin to the way the samurai had to adhere to Bushido, a strict moral code concerning their attitudes, behaviour and lifestyle.

Essentially the film explores toxic masculinity and raises questions about purpose and fulfillment. The two leading men of this film are defined by their jobs; beyond this, their lives lack meaningful substance. Pacino’s character encapsulates this sentiment when he says, “I am what I’m going after”.

It’s also worth noting that Arctic Monkeys used this film as inspiration for their last album and they’re like really cool.

A cult classic, the opening heist scene of this film was used as a playable mission in Grand Theft Auto V. similar: ‘The Departed’ (2006), ‘Infernal Affairs’ (2002).

similar: ‘Drive’ (2011), ‘Raging Bull’ (1980), ‘American Psycho’ (2000), ‘Le Cercle Rouge’ (1970)

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Pelican is 92 years old - nearly as old as Your Mum haha

Inception

Good Time

“Your mind is the scene of the crime.”

You’re out in the city on a Friday night, you can’t find your friends, you’ve lost your phone, your keys and your wallet. Suddenly your head starts spinning and you wonder whether or not someone’s slipped something sinister in your drink. Also, your hand is bleeding for some reason. A couple of guys have actually gone and synthesised this feeling and distilled it into a motion picture.

Christopher Nolan (2010)

Josh Safdie, Benny Safdie (2017)

I watched this movie for the first time in 2015 and since then I’ve watched it thirteen times. To a new viewer, the concept of shared dreaming and extraction is hard to grasp but at around the sixth viewing the onion unravels and inside is Christopher Nolan’s sweaty throbbing brain.

What makes this heist movie so thrilling is that it bends the laws of physics and even reality by travelling into the subconscious mind. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Cobb, an extractor with a painful past that stops him from moving forward in his life. The film posits the idea that our perceptions of reality could be entirely mistaken. If we’re dreaming, then what’s stopping us from achieving our dreams?

As convoluted as the premise is, there is a warm sentiment at the heart of Inception that’s present throughout Nolan’s filmography.

Sometimes we film buffs like to talk smack about him for that (in some circles you get beaten up for talking about Nolan films) but your life is your own dream so why not just jump first and think later? similar: ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ (2001), ‘Tenet’ (2020), ‘In Time’ (2011), ‘Interstellar’ (2014).

The project got off the ground when Edward Cullen from Twilight (who has now been identified as actor Robert Pattinson) got in touch with the Safdie brothers in search of a fun project, and boy they had a really good time making this…

If this film is remembered for anything it will be the revival of Pattinson’s career. The mark of the modern leading man is playing a fresh incarnation of Batman, and Robert Battinson already has a new trilogy ahead of him.

But the real potency of this movie lies in its pernicious and seedy characters just trying to stay alive in an urban hellhole. There’s scratchy 80s-inspired synthesiser music, blinding lights*, blood, and even a bottle of Sprite. If traditional audio-visual media is consumed by your eyes and ears then this is like injecting the film into your neck with a rusty syringe. Don’t do drugs; just watch this movie instead. similar: ‘Uncut Gems’ (2019), ‘Heaven Knows What’ (2014), ‘Trainspotting’ (1996), ‘Irreversible’ (2002). * Not to be confused with the song by The Weeknd.

Did You Know? Nah, neither did I!

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My Personal Vendetta Against Slaughterhouse-Five Rachel Denham-White is an avid reader and sci-fi enthusiast.

Have you ever been told to read a book so often that you make a fundamental decision to never even glance at it? Are you just so sick and tired of people raving about this incredible novel, that you make a mental note to write it out of your life? *Record scratch* Yep, that was me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up here? Well, I bought a book called Slaughterhouse-Five.

I purchased this novella at the beginning of 2020, expecting to finish it during reading week so I could take a break from my Uni texts. Plans change, pandemics happen, and I was suddenly stuck in a quarantine, with the only book I’d brought back with me being Slaughterhouse-Five because it was slim enough to fit in my suitcase. I put it on the bookshelf, and lost myself on the Internet instead. We all had other things on our minds.

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A few months later, my dad picked up the book and read it in a single afternoon. After that, every single time I took a look at my bookshelf, trying to decide what to read next, I’d hear my Dad voice saying, “When are you going to read Slaughterhouse-Five?” At this point, putting it off became an act of defiance, not just an act of pique. I just wanted nothing to do with that book. I’d get around to it one day, but I was always more interested in other things.

But then one day, I finished my prescribed reading for my unit, a gargantuan, Victorian doorstopper, and I wanted something quick and fun. I looked at the bookshelf, saw Slaughterhouse-Five sitting there and finally caved. “What the hell,” I thought. It was only 170 pages; I would finish it in a flash. Surely it couldn’t be as bad as I was making it out to be.

So I read it. And in all honesty…

Whoever stole the Pelican camera from my car,

I wish I hadn’t put it off for so long. ‘Cause I loved it.

Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonneget, is a strange, unique and ultimately charming little novel, about a fictional version of Vonnegut who signs up for military service in the Second World War, and suddenly starts to travel in time. He flashes backwards and forwards across his lifetime, witnessing key moments of childhood, adulthood and old age. He’s a soldier, an optometrist and an alien abductee, and he learns from his extraterrestrial adventures that time isn’t as linear as we usually perceive.

book you’ve been putting off, that one that’s been sitting on your ‘to-get-to-eventually’ pile, or staring at you from your bookcase.

You may worry it’ll be too different, too dense, too complicated, too weird, or just something that you’re not used to. Take the plunge and give it a try.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll love it.

The book is Vonnegut’s snapshot of his experience in World War 2, and does contain some heavy subject matter, most notably the bombing of Dresden in 1945. Compared to the other works I’ve read by Vonnegut, I was expecting a dense novel of surrealist scifi concepts. Instead, I got a down-to-earth, slice-of-life sort of narrative, which stayed relatable even when the protagonist was abducted by aliens. I found the writing style captivating, with a laid-back cheerfulness in the face of so much death.

The prose was urbane, witty and creative, the characters remained memorable even if they only had a small role in the narrative, and the time travel didn’t get gimmicky, but became even more captivating as the novel continued.

It didn’t take me a single afternoon, more like a few evenings, but when I turned over the last page, closed the book and sat back, I still felt a massive sense of accomplishment. I had finally finished Slaughterhouse-Five.

So if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from this experience, it’s to not let your literary expectations get the better of you. Read that you shall be forever cursed by The Pelicans.

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It’s Time for a Wardrobe Make-Over!

Kaylee Cranley is a fabulous fashionista who loves sustainable recycled fashion!

2021 is here and it’s calling you out on your bad wardrobe habits! If you’ve been cramming your overflowing drawers shut for too long and repeating the same three outfits despite a wardrobe full of clothes, then I’m talking to you - it’s time for a wardrobe makeover!

Clearing those outfits you never wear will save you so much time, stress, and clutter!

If watching Isla Fisher compress copious amounts of clothing into sealable bags in Confessions of a Shopaholic triggered a realisation of guilt in overspending, then it’s definitely time for you, too!

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The five-step basics for Beginners STEP 1. Start with your drawers First, toss anything ripped, stained, or too worn to recycle or give away. These are the pieces you never use, have completely forgotten about, or turn a blind eye to - until your overflowing drawers are staring you right in the face! Then, start to declutter by category; this will help you see how many pieces you have of each style and how many you truly wear within each of them. Be honest with yourself and reflect on the likelihood of and regularity with which you’ll be wearing the outfits.

Only keep what you love, wear often, and fits you right now. All those old tops and outfits that you’ve been shoving and stashing away to the back? It’s time to let those go! ‘Out with the old’ allows you to make space for the new! You won’t feel so guilty when you want to add fresh new looks into your wardrobe! If you start to find it really hard to part ways with your clothes, begin to make a ‘maybe’ pile for those pieces you’re unsure of.

STEP 2. Be Ruthless Don’t be sentimental! At the end of the day, clothes are just that - well, clothes. Don’t form too much emotional attachment to the pieces that serve no great memory-purpose or elevation of style. Ask yourself, “have I worn this in the last year?” and, “will I actually wear this within the next month or so?”

Be ruthless and honest! Think of the future outfits that will most likely be taking up your wardrobe space in the coming months!

Step 3. Does it make you feel good?

Something that is sometimes neglected is whether you find certain pieces annoying or uncomfortable to wear. If it doesn’t make you feel

good — get rid of it! Having a full wardrobe is pointless if you’re wearing the same five outfits on rotation. You know what works for you and what makes you feel confident. Nobody wants to dress in something that makes them feel like they’re not living their best main-character lives!

If you don’t feel confident or comfortable in it, then it’s not worth holding on to. In saying that, if it doesn’t fit right now let it go, too! If the size isn’t right, chances are you won’t be pulling it out of your wardrobe anytime soon. Through keeping order and organisation in your wardrobe you will find pieces you had forgotten about and keep what you really need.

Step 4. Sell or Donate!

We are lucky enough to live in a modern era with a surplus of avenues to sell and even hire out our pieces. There are so many ways to sell your old pieces and earn some extra dollars including the classic Facebook Marketplace (where I myself have earned a fair bit of pocket money these past few weeks). Otherwise, head straight to your nearest clothing collection bins. Charities accept clean clothing, homewares, toys, and electrical goods that offer you a chance to recycle some of your past loves into the lives of others.

Step 5. Enjoy!

Once all the hard work is done and you’re admiring your newly categorised wardrobe and drawers you will notice how having a clean space facilitates having a clearer mind. Your organised wardrobe will have you piecing together new looks, getting ready quicker in the morning, and, most importantly, feeling your best and being your most confident self ! So, what are you waiting for?! Throw on your favourite playlist, head into your room, and get sorting!

Refectory renovation? More like Refectory REVOLUTION!

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Letters to the Editor Dear Editor,

Dear Editor,

I think it’s just DOWN. RIGHT. WRONG. for us to judge the athletes at the Olympics for using drugs in the competition. Especially those who beat world records. When I was on drugs, I wanted to be a cat.

I’m just putting the call out there for someone willing to help a girl write a UWA-centric edition of The Great Gatsby now that it’s out of copyright? Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Regards, The Cast of ‘Cats’ (2019) David Paik regrets eating those brownies.

Dear Editor, Can the record please state that despite what you may naïvely think, there is no clear con to buying lunch every day. Instead of eating a soggy sandwich of mediocre leftovers, you can buy a delicious meal that you didn’t have to waste time making yourself. You may be thinking, “well, what about my bank account?” The answer to that question is, just don’t look at it, stupid.

Kind regards, Someone Who Just Spent Twenty Minutes in the Subway Line and is Now Late to Class (Written by Esha Jessy) 16

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Gatsby’s yellow Rolls Royce = Yellow student parking permit

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The Green Light = Freshers still having hopes and dreams

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The American Dream = Good wi-fi on the Reid Library balcony

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Gatsby = Every perpetual student who peaked during their undergrad and has been chasing the high of being a fresher rep ever since.

I really think this one could be a hit!

F Scott Fresher

Dear Editor,

Dear Editor,

Huge shout out to me for remembering to eat my two fruit and five veg today. Just wondering if this hot new habit qualifies me to be a frontline health worker? I’m trying to get one of those vaccines everyone’s been going on about.

I’ve successfully convinced everyone that I’m some kind of hot mess express even though everything in my life is honestly going pretty well at the moment. Now I just cruise by while exceeding everyone’s expectations.

“You’re feeling behind? I haven’t watched ANY of my lectures.”

Kind regards, Boost Juice Advocate

Sincerely, The girl who went to all of her lectures in person

Winner from the Con/Test

For more comedy, read Sep Kimiaei’s piece on online exams at our website, pelicanmagazine.com.au!

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Testing Our Patience

The Untold Testimonies of Parking at UWA Esha Jessy thinks Love Actually is a shit movie.

Courtney Withers got shat on by a pelican the other day.

It’s 9 a.m. Monday morning. You’ve left yourself an ample amount of time; you set your alarm half an hour earlier than you needed to, only had one coffee instead of two, and you’ve got your sweatband on, ready to face the wrath of finding a parking spot at UWA. It’s game time.

Pulling into the rows of parking bays at Reid, you can see it already — you’re too late. You’re too bloody late. The rigmarole and blackhole of parking at UWA has swallowed you whole.

Next, onto ‘The Pit’. Maybe you’ll have more luck there.

Hearing the scratches under your car as you zoom over the potholes - which simultaneously turn your steering wheel into a spinning DJ deck - you see it again. You’re too bloody late, even for The Pit. What about some street parking? Nope, you’re too late for that, even. It seems that the families at Matilda Bay with their ‘chippies’ and cricket bats are a stronger force to reckon with than you may have thought. Go home soldier — you’ve lost the battle for today.

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This narrative is not an uncommon one it seems, and so, we thought we would take it upon ourselves to collate testimonies from some fellow UWA students that are suffering in silence. These are the tales of the unnamed heroes, the underdogs even, that weren’t the lucky ones. They’ve had their patience tested, and unfortunately, they’re losing hope by the minute.

All of these testimonies are real, and anyone who claims they are ‘made up’ or ‘undoubtedly fictitious’, needs to ahh…sort themselves out. Here are the ‘testimonies’ from UWA students we gathered: “I once came to Uni and parked in The Pit. I never saw my car again.” - Sad Anonymous “I was once witness to some pretty serious car park rage. It was the last yellow student spot left.

Naturally, one car went to drive in and well, the other car T-boned them straight in the side. A nice little T-Bone steak. Bon Appetit!™ Katy Perry.” - Anonymous Bystander

City of Perth Parking is free at the full moon

“Sometimes I just drive around and pretend to have found a parking spot, just so I can imagine what it feels like to have actually found a parking spot. I still have never found a parking spot.” Unnamed Hopeful “When I do finally find a spot, I park across as many bays as I can. People need to suffer like I have suffered.” - Selfish Asshole “Once I got to uni and spent an hour looking for parking. I gave up and just went home.” Anonymous Professor “I did one of those flyer drops to houses around UWA in the hope of being able to park in a driveway. One lady got back to me and said it would cost me $300 for the semester. I’m now $300 down in my bank account, but you know what? At least I have 100% participation for all my tutes.” – Unnamed Desperate “I drove past a pothole in The Pit today. I swear I saw the Earth’s core. Imagine that. I’ve seen the centre of the Earth, but never a parking spot at UWA.” – Anonymous Explorer “Once, I indicated into a parking spot when I thought this person was getting into their car to leave. They waved me off to tell me they weren’t leaving, so naturally, I bitch-stared them. Guess who finally got a parking spot!” - Anonymous Bully “Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if I just parked my car on James Oval. Would it start a revolution? Would that make me a revolutionary? Food for thought...” Anonymous Rebel

“I couldn’t find parking today.” - Fed-up “I dunno why people are so angry about parking at UWA. Just park in Matilda Bay. It’s not that hard. My favourite spot is between the tiny jetty and the yachts.” - Scuba Diver Now, you may be wondering what we intend to do with these testimonies. It’s all well and good to publish this in the Pelican, but how is this actually going to help you? When has a Pelican writer actually done something productive about the pains of day-to-day university life, instead of just writing a lovely article about it? That’s where things are going to change, our dear friends.

We will be taking these testimonies, your pains and struggles, to the horrific nuisance that is UWA Parking, and doing something about it. We will fight for justice - we will fight for you!

Our plan is to print every single testimony that you’ve read here today, and stick them on the backs of toilet cubicle doors, every single desk at Reid, on every single Whoosh bike, on the UWA Security buggies, and on the foreheads of passersby. This way, everyone will be reminded of the day-to-day struggle of finding a car park, so that one day when do you find that deliciously perfect car park next to the lecture you’re going to, you will remember that there is still a testimony about Katy Perry’s ‘Bon Appetit’ stuck to your head.

You’re welcome.

Happy parking everyone!

Well done, PROSH!

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The Theory of Model Sentiments

The Mecca of Ethics

By Charles Fedor

What if I told you that economics owes a significant amount of intellectual theory to religion? What if I told you that ethical economics was invented in the 9th Century and predates capitalism? As an economist you are probably going into apoplexy screaming, “economics is a science based on rational thought!” and “religion has no place in a science!”

I love playing this parlour game to watch economists come to two very uncomfortable conclusions. One: economics is not a science, but simply an expression of societal concepts of ownership and wealth. Two: that a centuries-old religion has created an economic system that is rational and ethical. I am of course talking about Islamic economics, a beautiful and fascinating by-product of the intersection of the Qur’an and the intellectual renaissance that was the Islamic Golden Age. As I am not a theologian, I will only be discussing economic concepts that form the bedrock of Islamic economics and how these can be repurposed for a secular society.

So, let’s begin. Islamic economics - much like most economic schools - struggles to reach consensus on definition. That being said, the most popular definition is “that branch of knowledge which helps to realise human well-being through an allocation 20

and distribution of scarce resources that is in conformity with Islamic teachings without unduly curbing individual freedom, or creating continued macroeconomic and ecological imbalances”. Okay, wow, that is scarily close to how high schools define economics: “how society allocates scarce resources”. But hold up, it also promises to preserve individual freedom and correct “economic and ecological imbalances”. That definition instantly sounds like an economics I can get behind: promising to balance freedom and ensuring equality. Let’s have a brief dive into the basic features of Islamic economics.

Regulation Islamic Economics sets out a really strong case that the government has an active role in the management of the economy. Basically, it establishes firstly that people have the right to free enterprise with the following exceptions: • A ctivities banned by the Qur’an such as the sale of alcohol (Goodbye Ave, it was only a matter of time) or charging interest.

• If the market operations are creating disequilibrium or injustice (British Petroleum would be on the chopping block here).

• If a monopoly or sufficient market concentration creates excessive profit

50% of the Guild Council are robots. Guess who!

or harms consumer welfare (the same justification for the Australian Consumer and Competition Commission) • If a business or individual begins to hoard rare resources and create artificial scarcity (toilet paper during a pandemic or diamonds in South Africa).

like Section 51 of the Australian Constitution which reads, “the acquisition of property on just terms from any State or person for any purpose in respect of which the Parliament has power to make laws”.

In that case, it would be the responsibility of the government to step in to ensure economic stability and ethical operation.

The government would further be subject to judicial review via Sharia courts to ensure the government interference is fair and balanced.

These principles look like Keynesianism with a moral component and robust enforcement mechanisms. This was all laid out in the 9th Century!

Islamic Economics concurs with Aristotle and every hippy by stating that money has no intrinsic value. In this capacity, it is strictly prohibited for people to lend to people and expect a benefit. This in effect outlaws interest (riba). The argument is that money must be used productively and that wealth can only be generated through legitimate trade and investment in assets. In practice, this means that profit and risk are shared between the investor and the investee. By extension, equity-based structures are illegitimate, as investment based on debt is considered a breach of trust (there is no promise the debt can be paid back). Money is also further morally ‘purified’ with the government encouraging charitable donations to those in poverty through a moral tax (zakat).

Prohibited methods of earning money include:

Ownership Islamic Economics does show its age here by asserting that all ownership is derived from God. In this area I would note it tracks quite well with proto-capitalist ideas that asserted land and nature were gifted to man

by God, too. Economics has moved generally to a more nebulous understanding of man being endowed with the right to exploit the natural environment. Islamic economics further introduces three distinct types of ownership, those being private, communal and state. This is not unlike other schools of economics. The key difference is that Islamic economics makes it very clear that private ownership is not inalienable and that the state can expropriate any property to produce social justice or protect the community. It is made very clear that the private citizen will be provided due compensation and that is subject to judicial review. This sounds exactly

Concept of Money

• G ambling • S peculation (I relish the day when the stock market is not a topic of conversation) • Fraud • Exploitation (Marx was not the only one to care about workers) • Extortion

Sport concept: it’s an eating contest but instead of eating you play cricket.

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The Theory of Model Sentiments The Mecca of Ethics Continued...

Taxation

Islamic Economics: In Short

Islamic economics has introduced an awe-inspiring tax code that is the envy of any heterodox economist. There are four distinct taxes, though I would note that the percentages should be adjusted upwards for any modern government to meet its expenses.

These taxes are:

• F amous Moment: When Iran tried to expropriate the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company in 1954 and found out that capitalism has HANDS • Most Likely Use: Panicking bankers in casual conversation by calling them usurious stooges and rejecting the idea of interest.

• Biggest Theoretical Whoopsie: Maybe arbitrary numbers from thousands of years ago are not the best way to write tax policy? At least the government pretends like there is a justification.

• Big Names in School: Muhammad Baqir al-Sadr, Abu Nasr Al-Farabi, and Ibn Khaldun • FMK: Banks, Justice, and Hoarders • Biggest Turn-Off: The Stock Market

• Z akat: A 2.5% tax on savings (wealth) that is to be donated to the poor and indigent.

This is to be collected by the government and given to a waqf which is a religious benevolent trust. A tax on wealth instead of income was novel for the time and did wonders in addressing entrenched inequality.

• Jizya: A per capita yearly tax that was levied on non-Muslim citizens (with exceptions).

The Jizya could easily be repurposed in Australia as a tax on the ultra-wealthy.

• Kharaj: A tax on the land of a citizen that is roughly analogous to council rates.

• Ushr: A 10% tax on agricultural and later non-agricultural produce paid by businesses. The Ushr could be repurposed as our current income tax.

Despite the separation of Church and State, perhaps it is a time for economics to rediscover its moral underpinnings. It is simply not enough for us to teach economists “this is the way it is” without asking the fundamental question, “should this be the way it is?”. This economist sees Islamic economics as a vibrant and economically sound system that could easily be repurposed for our secular world.

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For more Finance & Economics content that con/tests accepted norms, read Linda Pickering’s ‘Out with the Old’ online, at pelicanmagazine.com.au!

An Anecdote From an Introverted Extrovert

Kaylee Cranley still remains inconclusive in her Myer Briggs personality test results.

I don’t know about you, but I have always struggled to reconcile my love/hate relationship with being alone. It’s a battle I’ve been trying to understand my whole life, condensed into the age-old question - “are you an introvert or an extrovert?” - a competition between the outgoing crusader and the isolated lone-wolf.

This extends to the crisis of love/hate in regard to people entirely. One day, I’ll cram copious amounts of lunches with old friends, leave my rainy day playlist on repeat because I feel lonely, and hope to bump into anybody of remote familiarity to strike up a somewhat engaging conversation. Sounding extroverted enough yet?

If you’re reading this on 12 December at 12:12am, you’re already too late

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An Anecdote From an Introverted Extrovert Continued...

Then, fast forward to the next day where I’ll avoid visiting any local shopping centre, dread the idea of making small talk with anyone, and where, as my phone screen lights up with replies, I’ll search for any excuse not to leave the comfort of my solitary fortress (usually filled with candles, Netflix binging, or a good book).

Working most of my life in retail, I pride myself on being a people-person. Yet some days, I come home with the need to peel off my social mask and crawl into a room of never wanting to socialise with another human being ever again. If you’ve engaged in extensive amounts of personality tests, BuzzFeed quizzes, or selfreflection, and yet can never quite decide if you’re an introvert or extrovert...let me tell you right now, you’re not alone.

It’s just over a month since the notorious day that enforces the pressure NOT to be alone: Valentine’s Day. In that time, I have reflected on the pressure around the idea that to be alone is to be lonely. The day that can turn even the least romantic into a hopeless one, somehow simultaneously has the ability to turn all singles into desperados; Hello, redownloading Tinder for the fourth time.

After the New Year’s Eve countdown had periodically reminded me of my aloneness, I could only anticipate the next holiday hitting and cutting much deeper. It’s the day that reminds us that our social media has remained on the ‘single’ status, regardless of how many flings or almost-there partners we may have met - “no, Mum, I don’t talk to that ‘lovely boy’ anymore”. I’ve since had the time to reflect on my urge to seek a quick ‘date and dash’.

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In the modern era, we are constantly inundated with the message that it is melancholy to be alone. Yet the age old proverb love yourself is still fiercely thrown into our faces. There’s no wonder we are confused as to which of the two to believe. Searching for answers, I realised I felt most alone when I was feeling down about myself, even if I was surrounded by plenty. I made sure every minute of every day I had people, distractions, and dates to counterbalance internal feelings of loneliness.

When you start to spend time working on yourself, you begin to walk a little taller, smile a little brighter, and radiate a little further.

Whether you’re a ‘Class A Introvert’ or ‘Borderline Extroverted Champion,’ take the time to strengthen the one relationship that truly balances the rest — the relationship you have with yourself.

I know it sounds cliché, but once you start looking inside for happiness, you begin to stop desperately seeking it outside. That got me thinking — why aren’t we putting as much emphasis on everything else in our lives that makes us who we are? Our favourite foods, books, Spotify playlists, nighttime skincare routines? Why aren’t we getting to know the hobbies and interests of our one true greatest love — ourselves?

The taboo conceptualisation around being alone has forced us to surround ourselves on the outside, and left us feeling empty inside. We are allowed to enjoy our own company, even if that means being alone after hanging out with our 30 nearest and dearest the day before. Don’t be afraid to be alone in the company of the person that matters the most — yourself.

In honour of ‘Con/test’, contradict your lecturer then yell ‘Freedom of Speech!’

Annihilation: Cosmic Horror or Cosmic Heaven?

Rachel Denham-White is an avid reader and sci-fi enthusiast.

How do we perceive the inconceivable? How do we comprehend the unexplainable? How do we represent the unthinkable? And most importantly: how do we film it?

This is always the first question I ask when exploring the genre of cosmic horror. This style of horror was created by iconic writer (and highly problematic historical figure), H.P. Lovecraft, and intends to evoke a strong feeling of shock, disgust and utter helplessness.

The genre deals in horrifying creatures and strange realities of such incredible, unthinkable proportions that even glimpsing them would be enough to shatter the human psyche. This style of writing sets out to make us feel small, cold, and alone as we try to reorient ourselves in the blank, unfeeling void of the cosmos.

There have been many great stories that have tapped into the Lovecraftian method, including The Thing, Alien, Color out of Space and Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series.

It’s a complex genre that is always hard to represent. But when I think of undiluted, pure Lovecraftian terror, I always return back to Alex Garland’s 2018 film Annihilation, one of the best examples of how we can truly utilise film in visually presenting cosmic horror.

Annihilation is based on the novel of the same name by Jeff Vandermeer, and is the first of the ‘Southern Reach’ Trilogy. The film is a standalone science fiction thriller and stars Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaac, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Tessa Thompson. The narrative centres on five female scientists exploring a strange, extraterrestrial environment called ‘The Shimmer’, which has expanded outwards from a meteor that crashed into a lighthouse off the coast of the United States.

The film is well-acted and well-paced, but by far the standout is found in its visual imagery, and director Alex Garland definitely had a hard job when considering the look of this movie. For how do you represent a natural landscape that has become fundamentally alien? Well, you start with tiny details. When the scientists are inside The Shimmer, nearly every shot is edited to incorporate some element of refraction. The sky, the clouds, grass, water, rock and air are all tinged with unnatural colours. It is a blinkand-you’ll-miss-it moment with some scenes, but it creates a setting both nightmarish and beautiful.

As they journey further into The Shimmer, the scientists come across strange freaks of nature.

According to Teen Vogue, these Pelly Facts influence global culture!

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Annihilation: Cosmic Horror or Cosmic Heaven? Continued...

Different flowers growing from the same bud, multi-coloured lichens and moulds, and eventually, animals with characteristics from different species. We realise that The Shimmer refracts like a prism, but it doesn’t refract light. The women discover their DNA is being changed, and they have to contemplate what they’ll soon turn into, be it plant, animal, insect, or something else entirely. It’s a time-honoured technique in body horror, as characters try to wrap their heads around bodily changes outside of their control. Each scientist has their own, very human reaction to the way their bodies are changing, expressing madness, fear, acceptance, or intrigue. And it’s horrifying to witness.

However, the most ingenious concept in this movie is how it portrays an antagonist.

Because…there isn’t one. Yes, there is an alien involved in the story, but this is where the film’s sense of Lovecraftian terror is fully explored. The creature may seem evil to us, the characters may fear and hate it for what it is doing to them, but only because it is beyond our capacity to understand.

Garland stated in an interview for the film that aliens are often made human, or at least, human-like, through the characterisation of desire. Aliens may want to consume humans, use us for slave labour, or destroy our planet for resources, but they always want something.

Aliens may be creatures that look completely different from our human forms, but typically they have recognisable elements - limbs, eyes, mouths. They can be bipedal or look like giant insects, but we can usually recognise and relate

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to a familiar element in their design. But not with Annihilation, as Garland strove to create what he called “an alien alien.”

“It’s not like us. It’s unlike us. I don’t know what it wants. Or if it wants.”

At first, we assume The Shimmer to be a hostile environment, with scientists referring to the mutations as “malignant tumours.” It is truly frightening how a creature can have the power to mutate and refract every fragment of DNA that enters the space around it. But even more frightening is to consider that it has no reason for doing so in the first place. That it does not want to hurt humans or remake them. It just does.

This is a movie which is difficult to talk about without giving away the entire plot, so I will finish off by saying Annihilation is a force to be reckoned with, not only in the cosmic horror genre, but in all of sci-fi. We are used to seeing the same designs for monsters and aliens recycled again and again, to the point where they become characters in their own right. Creatures of mystery and terror become recognized figures that we cheer for, slap on T-Shirts and dress up as for conventions.

So, to see a film truly push the limits of showing the unknowable, trying to represent visually what we aren’t meant to understand, is a rare and wonderful experience. Through a combination of amazing creature design, intelligent concepts and breath-taking special effects, this film truly manages to capture the existential terror of Lovecraftian horror.

For more excellent Rachel Denham-White content, go online to read ‘My Personal Vendetta With Slaughterhouse-Five’! pelicanmagazine.com.au

Art by Pauline Wong The Somerville Auditorium is the single most cinema on campus

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Art (along with front cover art) By Hnin Ei Kyaw Win.

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Editors’ Note: Pelican stands in solidarity with the protesters in Myanmar.

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If you venture a little beyond Matilda Bay looking to relax, eat, exercise, or even dog-watch, you may become trapped in the endless field of green that is Charles Court Reserve. A perfect place to simply stare into the river. Or, if you’re feeling competitive, there are various sports fields, an outdoor gym, and a skate park for whatever con/test calls to you.

Words and Photography By Ashley Browse

Parks on a Pedestal: Charles Court Reserve

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Words and Photography By James Stanwix

Childhood Con: Desired Hues of Purple, Blue, and Yellow

Con.The above photos were shot on expired film, aged and a bit fuzzed. They are colourful, maybe slightly abstract, representative of a desired reality. Looking back on them now, moved away from where they were taken, they con me into

remembering the hills in a certain light, one that isn’t accurate. Con is connoted poorly, but these are sweetly deceptive. They capture the feeling I want to remember, a bush con, a childhood con, a way to remember a time of life in a desired light.

The Ten Q-Mandments Paige Bentley would prefer to not be perceived. Thanks.

Thinking about joining the world’s most famous conspiracy theory? Turns out there are a lot of rules!

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1. I am the lord thy Q.

2. Thou shalt listen to Emperor Trump.

3. Thou shalt not eat pizza.

4. Thou shalt be wary of the Cabal.

5. Thou shalt protect children from being eaten.

6. Thou shalt not doubt that Kim Jong Un works for the CIA.

7. Thou shalt not doubt that Bill Gates manufactured the coronavirus.

8. Thou shalt remember that the Democrats praise Satan.

9. Thou shalt remember that The Storm is coming.

10. Thou shalt not doubt the plan.

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Testing times:

The International Student Perspective on the impacts of Covid Alicia Lim My offer to study Biomedical Sciences at the University of Western Australia came as a beacon of hope in 2018, during a year of applications to various medical schools located in Singapore as well as in Australia.

With the mental and physical toll of academic results, admission tests and interviews behind me, I was ready to take on this new journey as a fresh, bright-eyed university student. The entire process of applying to medical schools had been so tedious that embarking on my medical school journey itself seemed so much easier in comparison.

My first year was pretty amazing, to say the least. I finally got a taste of studying abroad and living independently, in a brand new environment. In the second year, I got the chance to move to a studio room on campus.

I had the time of my life, whipping up strange dishes without risking getting scolded by my parents, or bingeing on Christmas movies in February. At that point, I had only been in Perth for about a month, and classes had begun their move online due to the worsening of the COVID outbreak.

My parents were encouraging me to return back to Singapore, saying that I had nothing to lose since classes were already online. If I had gotten sick in Perth, I would be all alone with no family around me. I hurriedly asked some of my fellow Singaporeans living in hall

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with me, whether they would be returning back home. A staggering majority replied no. I was thoroughly conflicted and knew that if I stayed, my parents would be pretty worried. However, if I went home, I risked being unable to return back to Perth while the other students would move on without me. Eventually, I made the tough decision of deciding to return to Singapore.

The process of adjusting from studying on campus in Perth to studying in my messy little room was quite a complicated one. Studying away from friends wasn’t really a problem as I had always been an independent learner, and never really relied on study groups or study buddies. The issue was the fact that I did not possess a conducive environment for doing any sort of work. My desk had been taken over with a large TV and the dining table wasn’t the best option either. I decided that I had to take action if I wanted to be able to work efficiently back home. My first arduous task was to clean up the unidentifiable pile of items on the floor of my room. The pile had grown pretty tall and intimidating over the years. A lot of decluttering and chucking away to other areas was involved. When the pile finally disappeared, I bought a tiny desk that could fit just in between the little area between my cupboard and my bed. Although tiny, it served its purpose just as well as any other desk would.

Hypothetically, if we were to abolish commerce degrees.

I was lucky that both Singapore and Perth share the same time zone. Hence, there wasn’t an issue with live tutorials and workshops.

One of my biggest challenges was trying to complete the weeks’ worth of lectures and quizzes during their dedicated week. I had multiple checklists all over the place, both digitally and physically. As someone who usually attends my lectures in-person at a fixed day and time, I had to set up a system to ensure that I attended all my classes. This system worked pretty decently in the end.

Another cause for concern was the fact that I had to juggle my duties as a university student with my everyday duties of being a fellow member of my family household. Although this may sound slightly exaggerated, you won’t understand how these little mundane tasks can affect your ability to concentrate on university work unless you have experienced it. I resolved this issue by locking myself in my room at a dedicated time frame every day, committing myself to finishing up any work within those few hours.

As for social life, it was definitely a struggle for me seeing my friends back in Perth having fun at various events and outings.

Undoubtedly, I was suffering from a severe case of ‘FOMO.’ I had to remind myself that these were events that I might not have even gone to even if I were still back in Perth, being a certified homebody. I also had my lovely family and dogs around me, so that helped to ease those feelings a little more.

The COVID outbreak has certainly taught me to more adaptable to new situations by making the best of what I have. It has also taught me to be grateful for what I have. I do hope to return back to Perth for the remainder of my studies, but for now, my little desk will have to do.

For another re/freshing playlist recommendation from Alicia Harrop, go online!

Pelicanmagazine.com.au

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We Need to Talk About the Lack of LGBTQ+ Visibility in AFL Jamieson Kay is an English grad trying hard to break stereotypes and work anywhere beside Maccas.

The Australian Football League (AFL) prides itself on inclusivity, but in the 124 years of the game, not one player in the men’s league has ever openly identified as LGBTQ. Here’s why that matters for Australia’s national sport.

In the latest season of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! openly gay singer Jack Vidgen, in conversation with retired AFL players Travis Varcoe and Robert “Dipper” DiPierdomenico revealed he was aware of “about ten or twelve” professional AFL players who were gay but would never come out because, “it would be a really hard thing to go through in that industry.”

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Witnessing this conversation was another stark reminder to me, and to the wider Australian community, that despite ‘pride round’ and assurances from the AFL that it supports the queer community, our national game still has a long way to go when it comes to creating an environment that is safe and welcoming to LGBTQ+ footballers - particularly in the men’s leagues.

The AFL brands itself as Australia’s game. It promotes itself as inclusive, multicultural, and diverse, because it believes these ideals reflect those of the Australian community. But if the AFL wants to reflect the Australian community, then you have to ask why, through hundreds of

Help! I’m addicted to the slash in ‘Con/test’!

years and tens of thousands of players, none have ever publicly come out. Other sports, including cricket, rugby, and tennis, have seen players embrace their sexuality publicly.

A study by VicHealth indicated that homophobia and toxic masculinity within the sporting industry directly led to gay athletes feeling they must “pass as heterosexual, or leave the game”. It went on to say, “abuse of men who were suspected of non-heterosexuality could be serious”, and therefore that men participating in team sports were significantly less likely to come out.

The AFL relies upon building a spirit of camaraderie and closeness, including emotional and physical affection, that only exists within the context of the team. This closeness is jeopardised if all members of the group are not seen as heterosexual. It transforms the closeness from masculine camaraderie to what could be seen as engaging in ‘homosexual behaviour’.

This is what Vidgen refers to when he says “it [coming out] would be a hard thing to go through in that industry”. Top down, through and through, the AFL as a sporting institution relies upon the continued exaggerated heterosexuality of its players to legitimise its rituals and keep the sporting realm firmly ingrained in the masculine.

Homophobia is deeply entrenched, and validated, within the AFL system.

Of course, all people are entitled to privacy when it comes to their sexuality, and if any member of the AFL just prefers to keep their sexuality private, that’s valid. But, in turn, it’s also fair to wonder why it is that so few players - even former players - have ever spoken publicly about being gay. Sexuality

is very public in the AFL - from Brownlow red carpet to interviewing players’ wives and girlfriends after games. We know LGTBQ+ athletes exist, but we never hear from them.

They are invisible. You have to think there is something more complex in play than simply a desire for privacy.

Jason Ball, an LGBTQ+ activist, and exfootball player at the local level, has been advocating for better representation in the AFL. He has noted that the tolerance of homophobic and transphobic slurs on the field and the lack of internal and community support for LGBTQ+ players contributes to a culture of fear around expressing non-heterosexuality.

The AFL media’s poor response to lesbian footballers in the AFLW, and an ongoing discrimination lawsuit by transgender player Hannah Mouncey have also not helped the sport’s image in recent times.

And it is hardly surprising; the AFL is embedded in a part of Australian culture that valorises masculinity. The Australian community is not ready to challenge the notion that gay men are inherently less masculine than their heterosexual counterparts, and they are not ready to challenge the traditional, ‘blokey’ idea of masculinity in Australian culture which is epitomised in the AFL. It’s time that the AFL took radical action to change that because, at the moment, progress is moving slowly.

If the AFL imagines itself as Australia’s sport, brands itself as a game which brings people together, and is welcoming to all, the invisibility of its LGBTQ+ athletes has to matter. It’s 2021, it’s time to admit there are children and teenagers growing up who love AFL, identify as LGBTQ+, and are relying on sporting idols and how they respond to these issues.

Return your library book exactly 13 weeks late to win the game

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‘Suburban Encounters’:

An Interview with Associate Professor Andrea Gaynor Interview: Ellie Fisher Associate Professor Andrea Gaynor is Director of the Centre for Western Australian History within the School of Humanities at the University of Western Australia. She is, primarily, an environmental historian, and her passion for this developing and contested field is infectious. Her research focuses on explorations of environmental and Australian history, and recent projects include urban environmental history, the history of water and water management, the place of animals in history, the history of fishing, and Western Australian environmental history.

She is convenor of the Australian and New Zealand Environmental History Network and Vice-President of the European Society for Environmental History.

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The Albany campus is officially 23% tastier than Crawley

Ellie Fisher: How would you describe environmental history to the person on the street who thinks it sounds brilliant but is confused as to what the field actually is and does? Why study environmental history?

Andrea Gaynor: Good question!

Environmental historians study the vast range of ways in which human lives have been bound up with nature. This ranges from the history of nature conservation efforts, to the causes of environmental degradation, and responses to both long-term environmental change and crises like ‘natural’ disasters.

In an era of climate and biodiversity crises, this historical perspective is absolutely essential to inform our thinking about the causes of the problems and how we should respond to them. As a narrative discipline, environmental history has the power to open up new ways of thinking about and approaching environmental problems.

ER: You’re a polymath, and struggled early on to choose between the Arts and the Sciences. What made you decide that your love of and concern for the environment was best served by studying a Bachelor of Arts?

AG: I knew I wanted to do something to help turn around the environmental destruction that I could see around me. It’s obviously crucial to have scientific knowledge about the problems, but from quite early on I could see that the problems were essentially human ones that were not amenable to solution by science alone. That is, scientific understanding is necessary but not sufficient to address the

issues we face; we also need to know how people think and feel about nature, and how societies make decisions about how they will exploit or protect the non-human world. While I was pretty good at science in high school, I really excelled at writing and loved to read, so I decided to enrol in a BA. I then tried a year of arts/law in which I discovered history - the first time I had studied it since junior high school. It was just the right combination of imagination and analysis, and I was hooked! There was no environmental history program major or minor available in any university, but I cobbled together my own program from a mix of history, anthropology, and science and environmental studies between UWA and Murdoch.

ER: Is there a seminal, crystalline moment that cemented your passion for the natural world?

AG: Hmm, it’s hard to say. When I was younger I wasn’t much of a fan of the bush - it was dry, prickly and full of ants. I preferred lawns and swimming pools! But as an older child I experienced more wild places and we moved to a house that had scorpions in the basement, frogs in the pool and bobtails on the front lawn. I found I loved these things (yes, even the scorpions!), and was deeply upset when bobtails were killed on the road outside our house, and when the enormous tuart tree that I could see from my bedroom window was cut down. I think these suburban encounters shaped my emerging environmental consciousness.

PLEASE write your theme ideas here:

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ER: Historically and contemporaneously, environmental issues are portrayed as a contest between humanity and the natural world; a war between legitimising the hunt for resources and diminishing the need to preserve environments. Do you think that this narrative will begin to change positively in coming years?

AG: I think that the dominant narrative is already starting to change. The old narrative of ‘man’ vs nature has long been challenged by preservationists, who seek to protect nature usually by locking it away (except for tourism and recreation). More recently in Australia we have seen a kind of fusion of nature protection and livelihood enhancement in the form of landcare, which in theory at least sees humanity as stewards of the natural world.

This movement involved thousands of people across Australia alone from the 1980s, and in many places is still going strong, but needs more historical narrative and analysis, so we can learn from and sustain the movement.

More recently still, of course, there have been other initiatives to break down the ‘jobs-&growth’ vs environment story, for example in renewable energy. Perhaps one of the most exciting developments is the increasing willingness of settler peoples to listen to and learn from Indigenous approaches to nature, which are about kinship and collaboration, not competition.

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ER: What units are available for undergrads to get involved with regarding environmental history?

Are there any other opportunities becoming available to dive more deeply into the subject?

AG: The key unit is ‘HIST1901: Environmental History’, which now forms the first unit in a new minor in environmental humanities. The humanities have something unique to give to our understanding of human-environment relations: they explore human thought, feeling, being and action in relation to nature, from historical, philosophical and literary perspectives. In this way, we gain a deep understanding of the human dimensions (the subjectivities, social relationships and cultural practices) inherent in all environmental challenges. For example, the environmental humanities shed light on the question of how people living in the industrialised world carry on as usual when our life-support system is collapsing around us, and work out strategies for operating as if non-human life really mattered. The minor includes an intensive unit with fieldwork on the south coast, which we’re looking forward to running for the first time in 2022. So I would encourage people to check out the new minor, which provides an excellent interdisciplinary grounding in humanities approaches to the environment. Also, with a grounding in HIST1901 it may be possible to pursue environmental topics in other history units, which often allow for a selfdevised research project. And I very much welcome postgraduates interested in studying environmental history!

Place all your feedback for this edition on the counter of Rolld

ER: What are your feelings about the future of our planet? Are you hopeful, depressed, or conflicted?

AG: Definitely conflicted! I am of course hopeful, and grateful for the many grassroots initiatives that I see in which people are experimenting with sustainable ways of living.

There are also some encouraging top-down commitments from states and corporations.

But frankly it is still insufficient given the scale of the problems we face. We are in a race against time, and at present we are not winning. But as a historian, I also know that sometimes change can be swift and come from unexpected quarters - look at what the pandemic did to Western Australian politics!

So I keep hoping, and telling the kinds of historical stories I think the present needs.

If you’d like to hear more of Andrea’s erudite thoughts on everything from environmental destruction and regeneration to sunsets, gardening adventures, and the meaning of life, head to her Twitter @enviro_history.

Ground-floor Reid is ALWAYS a Pelican writers night

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A Punctured Region Like Vance Joy, Jas Saunders is also scared of dentists, the dark, pretty girls and starting conversations.

“Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, I welcome you to tonight’s Cycling for Contributions 2072 – and I have a real show lined up for you tonight!”

The hearty echo boomed through the room as the audience roared and cheered. The presenter bounded upon the stage like a leash-less puppy, buzzed on the adrenaline that I wished I had. I watched him flash his pearly whites to the audience, so close to the edge of the platform that I thought he would fall right off. He didn’t. He was a professional, entertaining them, prancing about in bright blue, platformed boots.

“As always, I’m your host, Kallix Hesper and these,” the presenter roared, pointing to me and the other participants behind him, “are your kind-hearted, charitable Samaritans for our 38th anniversary of this event!”

I gulped, thankful that my clip-on microphone didn’t project it to the entire room. My heart was in my mouth. Not a single seat was empty - I couldn’t let the audience down. I felt boxed in by the royal purple curtains bracketing the stage, like a small child performing for a school assembly.

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My eyes floated around the room - they stopped on Meredith. She flashed me her best attempt at a reassuring smile. We hadn’t been dating long, but after eight years of friendship, she knew most of my mannerisms and anxious tics inside out. It wasn’t my idea to participate in this event. Perhaps if I had anything to blame, it would be her loving encouragement – as much as it pained me to do so. She’d attempted to style her hair to match the eccentricity of the other crowd members, with a handful of glitter sprinkled in. I was pretty impressed with how it looked since I couldn’t style my own.

In the rest of the crowd, I could see the families of the other four contestants. My heart went out to them. It was cruel that we were competing against each other, when all we wanted was to win for our families’ sake.

However, I was reassured to see that they were country people too. Maybe we weren’t as ostracised as we thought; maybe the city folk actually not only needed us but respected and actually cared about us.

I wasn’t nervous just because of the crowd and the cameras pointed onto me, but because of the IV drip piercing my chest. Just in case of

Coming soon to a cinema near you: The UK Strain :(

Art by Pauline Wong. accidents, the nurse who injected it had said, but that didn’t hearten me. Something about it made me uneasy.

here, without the need of the city’s highheeled footwear, but I had never felt so small until tonight.

“The goal is simple,” Kallix boomed. “Our fastest sin-bike cyclist will have their kilometres ridden matched to money for their families. Who will ride the fastest and the furthest?”

I snapped out of my daydream as I saw Kallix signal. The sequined tassels of his sleeve swayed wildly, glistening like the rubies only the rich could afford and took as their own from our mining towns. I used my frustration to push the pedals as hard as I could. Overindulging do-nothings… they wouldn’t know a day of hard work and physical labour if it hit them. They had used us for far too long. They lived in cities, with all the technology and resources they needed.

We were the cows they milked. They abused their power with flashy clothes and gadgets, and shiny false promises to look after us traders. I had to win this, for Meredith, for a comfortable summer when yarn season was quiet.

I stifled a groan. I hadn’t trained enough for this, let alone watched the show in years.

I had no idea what to expect. I felt like an octogenarian compared to the other riders down the line. They would certainly raise more money than me. Their muscles bulged through tight shirts on the verge of splitting, honed from farm labour. My own attire revealed only scrawny, gangly limbs. There was no strength to be gained in supplying textiles from my sheep. I was tall for a woman

Dog-sized elephants! Imagine!

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A Punctured Region Continued...

It was almost the sound of a water balloon thrown onto the pavement, like we’d done as kids to keep cool.

I rode to the rhythm of my heartbeat, steady and comforting – something that I knew best. The others around me, however, rode manically, wildly. It made sense: when I met them tonight, I learnt of their families, small children to care for. I paused to catch my breath. I panted for only a second when I heard the first one.

SPLAT! It was almost the sound of a water balloon thrown onto the pavement, like we’d done as kids to keep cool. My eyes darted towards the first cyclist, his eyes bulging at the pool of blood on his chest. The crowd applauded as the dark red liquid danced wildly through the IV drip. It took a second for us to realise what was taking place – his heart had burst, pushed to the limit by exertion.

SPLAT! SPLAT!

SPLAT! The fourth farmer, the last before me, let out a cry like a hunted, wild animal. The city folk cried, crocodile tears compared to the country families beside them. I waited for my own heart to burst. It only seemed to pound harder, like knocking frantically on a door for refuge. I waited and I waited, eyes locked on Meredith’s anguished face. I gripped my handles tighter.

Kallix broke the silence. Walking over to me, he grabbed my arm, waving it in the air defiantly.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, wasn’t I right about tonight? Thank you to our cyclists for their brave contributions; now we have all the fresh country blood needed for the season!”

Two others averted their eyes to their chests.

Their mouths widened in anguished pain.

Red painted their shirts too.

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For a bonus short story, ‘Meditations on a Suburban Wilderness’ by Eva Cocks, go online! pelicanmagazine.com.au

the fifty move rule Ellie Fisher doesn’t think life is a contest.

In chess, a draw can be claimed if no pawn has been moved or no capture made in the last fifty moves. This rule exists to prevent obstinate players from wearing their opponent down to victory, or from continuing play indefinitely. the board is a smile, a snare of words, a thicket of eyes. the monochrome pieces are silent within their monochrome squares. uneasy fingers, never touching, lift and guide. a spike of pure adrenaline, the unbearable mania that sets the nerves on fire. the dead are removed without comment, their gleaming bodies burgeon and multiply. roses, the hue of unspilt blood, watch on. a drawn-out dance, awkwardly played. then constriction, the circle tightens. pawns slip away as quickly as lies, bishops murmur their prayers, rooks fall into ruin. even the knights lose hope. the king is surrounded, vital yet weak. the twist of a wrist, a quiet click. black on white. he is dead. the contest over. only the queen is left. the sky spasms into breath. a chasm of cloud, the death rattle of the endless game. the corpses lie scattered, alienated, lost. slowly, precisely, peace skins the wound. it closes into an unexplained scar.

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Marketable Music vs Authentic Art Owen Gust wishes he were in a Rick Astley music video.

In an increasingly saturated market, artists are finding themselves constrained by a need to nuance and brand their sound as their ‘own’.

As a band or an artist trying to break into this scene, it can seem daunting; trying to balance the sound that comes naturally to you against your conceptions of the image that you want to try to establish. Of course, no one wants to be labelled as ‘just another’ Australian indie rock band or ‘just another’ American drill artist. So, it begs the question: Should artists really be sacrificing authenticity for this pressure to be ‘unique’?

Your gut response might be: “No! Artists should always be truthful to their own style.”

However, on deeper analysis, there is no easy answer to this question. Music lovers want innovation; we want to hear something that makes our mind twist and contort in different ways to everything else that we have heard.

If artists had never pushed themselves to create unique sounds – then arguably – the whole of Australia would be getting sloshed in sweaty anticipation as we wait for

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Beethoven’s second symphony to take out the top spot in Triple J’s Hottest 100. We need innovation ¬¬– whether it comes naturally, or by experimentation.

I think that sometimes a compromise must be made in an artist’s career – a compromise between the kind of music that artists want to make, and the kind of music that they need to make. A compromise involving an adherence to the ‘popular conventions’, as to avoid alienating their audience with completely abstract sounds whilst also becoming a slight permutation on other bands in the same ‘genre’. As an artist you need to perform a Luke Skywalker and weave your X-wing torpedos into the narrow vent of ‘marketability’, whilst avoiding the tie fighter’s ‘overly cliché’ style/blasters, and the steep trench walls of ‘too abstract’ in order to destroy the Deathstar and save the day.

If you’re thinking about becoming Ed Sheeran 2.0, odds are you’re going to fail for a couple of reasons. Ed Sheeran has his sound,

When Sam Reid concussed Nat Fyfe, he also concussed my Great-Aunt

and I do not think you can beat someone at their own game. Plus, you’re trying to fill a place in the market where there is none.

DMA’s are a perfect example of an artist making slight permutations on convention and blending genre’s in order to create their ‘own sound’. DMA’s latest album, THE GLOW seems to have found a more ‘pop’ inspired feel than the last 2 studio albums: creating a very accessible but still emotionally resonant album. The track ‘Silver’ on THE GLOW glues their previously established style together with a more melodically driven hook; creating a song that almost sits in a groove between genres’. Although THE GLOW is definitely divisive for some fans, DMA’s haven’t allowed their sound to get stagnate or predictable, epitomising the way that they continue to push themselves to innovate. Inspirational stuff huh!? Now the question comes down to whether the band has sacrificed any authenticity. At this point, I do not think it really matters to the listener.

If the music is not painfully contrived and superficial to listen to, then it should only

matter to the artist as to whether they are happy with their own product.

Ultimately, an artist’s authenticity in their music is only important to the listener if it is overtly noticeable. While an artist’s creation of a new and interesting sound can be tedious and stressful, I think it is necessary. Some authenticity may need to be sacrificed in the process, but this is the price we pay to be able to live in a world where we listen to music other than the ‘cavemen beating on rocks with stick’s mixtape’. On the flipside, some restraint in the innovation of sound may also be required to ease listeners into a new style that may otherwise be too alienating to be marketable. Abstract and new music is what makes the medium so interesting and constantly provocative; but artistry never exists in isolation from capitalism, and artists need to make a living. It is easy to judge artistic choices when you are on the outside – but artists cannot make everyone happy – and sacrificing personal happiness for others is always a slippery slope.

Why is no-one talking about Winthrop Computers?

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Phoebe Levin loves ugly dogs. The uglier the better!

We satisfy your travel urges by telling you about political issues from around the globe!

Living in 2021, we’re all pretty aware that the Republican Party in the US has a pretty loose understanding of what constitutes a fair con/test (à la Trump’s refusal to accept his 2020 Presidential defeat which happened by the way of a free and fair election). With this in mind, I wasn’t overly surprised to find out that the aversion of Republicans to political competition can be dated back to the party’s attempt to inhibit a contest in 2002, in New Hampshire of all places.

Don’t know much about New Hampshire? Honestly neither did I. The only important thing I knew about the state prior to looking into this scandal was that in the Twilight series, Edward Cullen planned for he and Bella to go to school there. My skills of critical deduction helped me envision what I thought the state would be like. It must be cold and grey (for a vampire to be able to walk around obviously), and have low taxes (don’t forget the Cullens have been ranked among the wealthiest fictional characters – definitely Republicans). Upon some investigation about the state, it seems all of my assumptions are correct, with New Hampshire actually having no income or sales tax, and being an intermittently libertarian stronghold throughout US history. This is evidenced by its lack of regulation, being the only US state which doesn’t require adults to wear 50

Binary Opposition of the Day: soy-sauce fish vs. activewear

seatbelts in cars. My suspicion that Republicanism may be deeply embodied in the state was further supported by the 2010 census which revealed that 93.9% of the populace of New Hampshire was white.

So what, you ask, happened in 2002 which caused the Republican party in New Hampshire to turn a con/test into a con/job? If you’re not familiar with US politics then here’s the lowdown, in crude (and potentially offensive) terms. Rich white people tend to vote for Republicans, who endorse lower taxes, usually seen by their supporters to outweigh the importance of social equality. Poor white people also tend to vote Republican, but the reasons for this are a bit more complicated. Working class people, on the other hand, tend to be Democrats; however, the country’s non-compulsory voting works against these people, who are less likely to take the day off work to vote for someone they feel half-heartedly supportive of (think Hillary Clinton’s loss in 2016). This leads to a lot of Democrat campaigning being focused on galvanising voters and supporting Get Out the Vote (GOTV) organisations to succeed.

In 2002, a telemarketing firm, Mylo Enterprises, was contracted to jam the phone lines of GOTV organisations – with over 900 calls being made to these call centres – to disrupt their mission of mobilising potential Democrat voters for a Senate election. Primarily orchestrated by GOP executive director Charles McGee, this strategy drew on his military training in disruption of enemy communications.

This also targeted police stations so that officers were unable to offer voters rides to the polls, obviously a disservice to those without cars (i.e. not wealthier Republicans), undoubtedly contributing to their narrow victory.

The aftermath of the phone jamming scandal saw four men go to prison; the Republican candidate John E. Sununu was left unscathed however, even attempting to run again for the 2008 election (which he unsurprisingly lost). But the biggest takeaway from this scandal isn’t that US Republicans actively obstructed fair political con/test (as that isn’t too unlikely to believe in the aftermath of Trump’s presidency).

No, it’s having to grapple with the fact my childhood crush would’ve probably supported it.

Be more like the cormorant that sits on the pontoon at Matilda Bay

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How Algorithms are Reshaping Our Political Contests Ahmed Suliman lives inside a Dell laptop, only emerging on the birthday of Tutankhamun each year.

When WA’s first general election was contested in 1890, most voters on the fringes of the Perth area did not hear of the results until riders on horseback and newspapers arrived the next day. The outer rural districts were even further behind, and would not know the results for over a week or more.

I was reminded of this as I watched the ABC’s indefatigable election analyst Antony Green call the recent state election in record time, a mere forty-two minutes after polls closed. This was not only due to Labor’s sheer dominance (though it was certainly extraordinary), but also the sophisticated technology sitting on the ABC’s servers, translating the raw voting results in the background.

One thing most viewers don’t know about Antony Green is that he’s also a computer scientist with a background in statistics. In addition to his electoral analysis duties, he creates the algorithms and graphic systems that support the ABC’s coverage of elections across the country. Those systems receive local-level information, like how many people voted for each party at your local primary school-turned-polling place. They then turn

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it into meaningful aggregate results, allowing Green to predict results in individual seats in real time, and eventually call the outcome of an entire election.

The growing influence of computer algorithms on electoral contests stretches far beyond mere analysis of the results, however.

They are frequently used as a tool to influence the outcome of those elections.

In a democracy, there are two paramount considerations for the success of a political campaign. The first is tailoring the right message, and the second is getting that message out to its intended audience.

Political parties have increasingly turned to algorithms to achieve both of those tasks.

In 2016, during the viciously contested referendum on the UK’s status as a member of the European Union, pinning down exact voter sentiments appeared elusive to many observers, including pollsters and the media.

The campaign apparatus in favour of the UK’s exit, known as Vote Leave, created a tool known as Voter Intention Collection System, or VICS for short. VICS was a sophisticated

Wowzers!

software that utilised computer algorithms written in Java and Javascript to aggregate voter sentiments. It brought together data from social media, search results, mailed surveys, and phone canvassing to determine which campaign messages were resonating in particular geographic areas. This allowed Vote Leave to adapt to changing voter sentiments far quicker than their rivals, and contributed to their eventual success in the referendum, which has reshaped British politics ever since.

Once the right message is tailored, algorithms are also playing a significant part in amplifying it. According to Forbes, Michael Bloomberg, the former mayor of New York, spent an eye-watering USD$60 million on Facebook ad spending during his brief run for the US presidency. Facebook’s ads platform uses algorithms that compile user behaviour on the platform, and make predictions regarding various interests or inclinations that user may have. Bloomberg’s campaign used over 31,000 ads that leveraged Facebook’s microtargeting algorithms to home in on particular geographic regions, demographics, and even predicted occupations. While Bloomberg didn’t get far, the final two contestants in Biden and Trump spent over USD$174 million on similar strategies between them over the final months of the campaign.

Aside from the explicit tactics of political organisations, algorithms are of course also affecting the way we consume information

about political con/tests. Research has shown that ‘newsfeed algorithms’, which curate what content users see on social media sites based on previous behaviour, can create virtual echo chambers that severely limit what political messaging individuals receive.

Those algorithms are essentially designed to give you more of what you already consume, because that is more likely to keep you engaged (and viewing ads). These algorithms have been linked to increasing polarisation in both ‘developed’ and ‘developing’ countries over the past decade.

Some might consider the above, and wonder about a future eventuality where entire political systems are handed over to algorithms. While it might be tempting to just cut out the middleman, the prospect of such a ‘cyberocracy’ would terrify most, and is fortunately not imminent. However, it is increasingly becoming a major interest for science fiction writers and futurist academics alike.

What is clear, though, is that the influence of statistics-driven algorithms on political contests is only increasing, whether it is to understand voter sentiments, change them, or reinforce them. These algorithms, particularly on social media, are often ‘black boxes’ which are not easily scrutinised from the outside.

This is an area which is only beginning to receive the academic attention it deserves, and requires greater transparency across the board.

Haiku is to Oak Lawn as villanelles are to James Oval

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Eurovision: A Tool for Peacekeeping and Protest Luke Barber will try to convince you that the Carnarvon Space Museum is worth a visit.

Most Australians only think about Eurovision in two distinct circumstances.

Annually, when we undergo the ceremonial nomination of a B-list Australian celeb to fly to Europe and compete, or when some big political story comes out of the contest and makes the headlines for a day or two.

But the political eminence of Eurovision goes far beyond recent protests over Tel Aviv’s hosting in 2019, or the controversy over Sweden’s success year after year. It is an inherent aspect of the contest fundamental to its very DNA… A POLITICAL ORIGIN STORY It’s no secret that Eurovision’s genesis was a political one. Following World War Two came an intense period of cooperation and political integration in Western Europe.

Aimed at keeping the peace, this was the period where the European Coal and Steel Community, the predecessor to the European Union (EU), was founded, beginning a process of economic and political integration.

The forming of Eurovision came in the wake

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of this movement, and early song contests were some of the first cross-border television broadcasts in Europe.

The first Eurovision contest was essentially unrecognisable from what we know as Eurovision today: seven countries participated, with only solo artists being able to enter.

All artists were accompanied by a 24 piece orchestra, and the world wasn’t quite ready for the glorious camp outfits or extravagant props and dance moves now synonymous with the event. There were, however, still political statements from the very beginning; notably, the first ever entrant for Germany, Walter Andreas Schwarz, was Jewish, in what appears to have been an effort to combat the long shadow of the Holocaust for German identity.

It didn’t take long for particular artists to begin using the international contest as a forum for protest. In 1968 French competitor Isabelle Aubret sung La Source, a song which controversially discussed the subject of rape in detail. Further protest entries ensued, with anti-war songs becoming commonplace across the 1970s.

Our website is down. Prove me wrong!

GEOPOLITICAL TENSIONS As the entrants to the competition expanded, so too did the scope for geopolitical disputes to manifest themselves at the contest.

Following Turkey’s 1974 invasion of Cyprus, Greece chose to withdraw their entry in 1975 over Turkey being allowed to enter.

More recently, the lyrics of entrants’ songs have been used to make statements. In 2009 Georgian candidate Stephane & 3G were disqualified for their not-so-subtle criticism of Putin’s invasion, through the lyrics of their song We Don’t Wanna Put In. “We don’t wanna put in, The negative move, It’s killing the groove.

Imma try to shoot in, Some disco tonight To boogie with you.”

In 2016 Ukraine actually took out the contest with Jamala’s song 1944, which was

about the deportation of Crimean Tartars by the Soviet government in 1944, a historical event involving ethnic cleansing. Although more a criticism directed at Stalin and not Putin, the win certainly caused tension, and the following year when Ukraine hosted they were able to block the Russian entrant from entering the country to compete, forcing their withdrawal.

THE END OF THE COLD WAR With the end of the Cold War, several nations leaving the Soviet Union became entrants for the first time. For some, this was an opportunity to develop an identity for themselves on the international stage, and was taken very seriously. In particular, in Estonia and Latvia, some citizens had been aware of Eurovision for decades despite Soviet censorship, as people could access broadcasts of the contest from across the border in neighbouring Finland. Estonia celebrated its first win in 2001, and Latvia in 2002.

Pick a number between one and sixty-four

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THE PROLIFERATION OF QUEERNESS Today, Eurovision is near synonymous with the queer community, and has cetified itself as a staple event on the LGBTQI+ calendar for many. This is certainly a more modern development, with the modern day campness and queer visibility not emerging during the first several decades of the contest.

It was not until 1997 that we had an openly gay Eurovision candidate in Paul Oscar from Iceland. His performance certainly grabbed attention, as he sang his song Minn Hinsti Danns (My Final Dance) on a couch with four backup dancers all dressed in latex, complete with dance moves that involved grabbing his crotch. The following year, Dana International of Israel became the contest’s first openly trans performer, and won with her song Diva, in what was a huge step for trans visibility in the late 90s. More recent queer trailblazers at the contest have included bearded drag queen Conchita Wurst, who

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won for Austria in 2014 with her song Rise Like A Phoenix.

These individuals paved the way for a new generation of queer performance, and while diversity is generally celebrated at Eurovision, this has not been without controversy.

Particularly notable is criticism of the contest in years it has been held in countries with poor standards for LGBTQI+ rights, such as Russia in 2009 or Azerbaijan in 2012.

Eurovision has a history of being a focal point for messy and controversial political disputes, and of being utilised astutely as a political tool by entrants. At the same time, it is gloriously fun, silly and is one of the few events that gives me the uncomfortable sensation that represents national pride. Bring on May and the long-awaited performance of literal light of my life Montaigne!

It’s PeliCAN, not PeliCAN’T

Australia Today, Tomorrow the World:

How to Vaccinate Against a Global Disease

By Ashlyn Woods

Since the outbreak of the virus over a year ago, the race has been on to develop and distribute an effective COVID-19 vaccine. While some nations, such as the member states of the EU, have agreed to share their treatments, other countries have competed against each other, throwing money and resources at their best pharmacologists in this rat race to be the first nation to produce a successful solution to this world-wide pandemic. We are beginning to see a glimmer of hope as the first vaccines are rolled out.

Given how unprecedented the pace of this process has been, it is important to stress the details of this great COVID vaccine race, including the process of vaccine production, the difference between the current COVID-19 vaccines available in Australia and how they are being distributed to our nation. First of all, we must cover the basics: what are vaccines and how do they work?

Vaccines are drugs that protect our bodies against certain diseases. They contain a dead, weakened component of a bacteria or virus which our bodies develop a natural immune response to when the vaccine is administered, most often via injection. After vaccination, if the live virus or bacteria was to enter the body, the immune system remembers it and automatically initiates the response to fight it, quicker and more effectively, protecting the body from infection.

A common misconception about vaccines is that they are dangerous because they contain a virus or bacteria, but in reality, vaccines only contain dead, weakened or small components (like a protein) of viruses and bacteria. This is enough for our bodies to identify the component as foreign to initiate an immune response, but not enough to make us sick. However, just as COVID-19 has differed from 57

other diseases in its spread and its societal effects, so too is its treatment unique. Both the Pfizer and AstraZeneca COVID vaccines, detailed below, use a specific noncontagious protein found on the surface of coronavirus cells called the ‘spike’ protein, which is responsible for binding to a target cell so the virus can enter and infect the cell.

Vaccines are produced in a lab and undergo multiple clinical trials before they are formally assessed and approved. These clinical trials aim to produce a safe dose and determine if it will function effectively and if it is safe to use on humans and has no or minimal adverse effects.

Even though the multi-phase process of vaccine production takes multiple years to complete from start to finish due to the high complexity and cost of manufacturing, we have seen record-breaking results, with the first COVID-19 vaccines being released in just under a year since the initial outbreak. However, this provokes the question of how has this process, which is normally so lengthy to ensure that the vaccine is safe and effective, been fast-tracked? The answer is that there are multiple countries contributing financially to the development of this vaccine. Secondly, we are dealing with a virus that is so globally widespread that it is not hard to find enough willing participants with COVID-19 to conduct thorough clinical trials.

Australia has spent over $3 billion on purchasing vaccines to roll out to the nation’s public. The first vaccine to meet the Therapeutic Goods Administration’s (TGA) high standards of quality, safety and efficacy and to be granted approval for use in Australia is the Pfizer/BioNTech COVID vaccine.

The Pfizer/BioNTech is an mRNA vaccine, meaning that it contains a string of genetic code (RNA) for this spike protein. When administered into the body, the body’s cells use this genetic code to make the spike protein. The body then identifies this spike protein to be foreign and initiates an immune response to get rid of it. It is important to note that the mRNA from the vaccine doesn’t interact with or change human DNA. The second vaccine to be TGA approved and available in Australia is the AstraZeneca vaccine. The AstraZeneca vaccine differs from the Pfizer treatment in being a protein 58

The third Vice-Chancellor was seventeen years old

vaccine, meaning this spike protein, which can be created in a lab, is administered into the body, allowing it to be identified as foreign by the body, which initiates an immune response against it.

It is important to note that while COVID-19 is a global problem, it has not been met with a uniform global response. Distribution of vaccines has typically proceeded in accordance with established political alliances and structures, with countries such as Russia and China producing vaccines independent of the aforementioned treatments commissioned by Western nations, and poorer countries beholden to the whims of richer countries to secure their own batches of COVID-19 treatment. It remains to be seen whether this failure to coordinate a united response will hinder global post-COVID recovery, or if this is a problem that can indeed be solved along national lines.

Australia has recently commenced the rollout of COVID-19 vaccines. The vaccines are voluntary and free for Australian residents. As of the 23rd of March, almost 300 000 people have already been vaccinated, with the first doses going to those who work in quarantine facilities and national borders or in health care, as well as to aged care staff and residents. Australia’s COVID-19 Vaccine National Rollout Strategy outlines the three-phase plan to distribute vaccines to the Australian population. The first phase aims to vaccinate all those who are most at risk of contracting COVID-19, and those who will be most affected if they contracted COVID-19. The second phase aims to vaccinate all middle-aged Australians and then younger Australians over the age of eighteen, and to catch up any previous vaccinations from phase one. Finally, the third phase is to vaccinate those under the age of eighteen, only if recommended. The overall aim of this strategy is to vaccinate almost all Australians to ensure herd immunity from COVID-19, protecting those who can’t be vaccinated and ultimately freeing our country from the looming threat of this pandemic.

Sign your uni emails “Vibes, [Name]”

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Thanks for Participating Aideen Gallagher

This is not my medal, it was a spare left over from the winning team.

I have always loved sport, despite being exceptionally substandard.

As a child coming from a highly competitive, sporty family, I have been lucky enough to be graced with an overly hopeful mother determined to ensure the next hobby she found for me would unearth my secret talent for coordination.

The variety of sports my mother would hustle me along to is hilariously long. In retrospect, I am incredibly grateful for the number of times I was forced to turn up to training, much to the dismay of everyone else in my team, and continue to give it a crack.

Finally, as a ‘twenty-something’, I can no longer feel embarrassment. When regular folks cower away from an opportunity to try 60

something new in the fear they may look like an idiot – I am wholly desensitised. One of my proudest moments was when, at the end of my year 12 graduating assembly, I was awarded the overall best ‘school participator’ - I had literally participated in every sport the school offered. You’ll be relieved to hear it was an actual trophy, and not just the ‘I ran a race’ ribbon, which I was all too familiar with from primary school. What I have learned to embrace is the spirit of sport, less the contest.

I have decided this incredible journey from ‘clumsy’ to ‘fearlessly clumsy’ deserves documentation. I would love to share with you my review of a handful of sports which I have attempted, and how I would rate them for anyone who, like me, just likes to meet new people and have fun.

To be or not to be, that is Law Library’s question

HOCKEY

FRISBEE

I consider hockey very near and dear to my heart. In the early days of Juniors, I would gleefully finish off the oranges from the sideline and cheer on my teammates. Hockey has provided me friendships which I will cherish for life.

Move over canines, this is now the sport of university students globally!

In 2017, I went on exchange to the Netherlands. I was eager to make new Dutch friends, so I decided to sign up for the university hockey team. Fortunately, they were particularly short on girls that year and allowed me to play.

Unfortunately, however, they spoke exclusively Dutch on the field. This was a problem for someone who was only a subpar player when playing in English. Everyone spoke fairly good English, but rarely were they bothered to translate their Dutch hockey lingo. In the intensity of a match I was typically disoriented and scared.

I persisted, however, often tagging along to the after-game drinks in the club room to celebrate our victory. Lekker! It was, understandably, a lot easier for my teammates to speak Dutch – particularly after a few drinks. So, I would just sit there, in silence, appreciating the atmosphere and wishing I had gone somewhere in the UK instead.

I would rate hockey: 8/10

Like many other UWA students before me, I was once asked to fill in for a social Frisbee team. At this stage, I had only ever watched from the windows of Reid library, gawking at the athleticism of lanky students who rarely emerged from the bowels of the lab rooms.

Finally, it was my turn.

In summary, throwing a disk is difficult.

It could go left, right, or straight into the ground. When a gust of wind comes along, the whole concept falls into disarray.

One positive aspect of this sport is the ‘spirit points’. As the dud of most sports, I tend to over commit to the tackle, or accidently smack an opponent in the face, so I’m used to a bit of opposition backlash. Here, players are so pleasant and wholesome. No other sport takes ‘good sportsmanship’ quite so seriously.

Most of my teammates were brand new to the sport, too. Nobody was judging my (lack of ) ability - everyone celebrated the fact I gave a new contest a try. I would highly recommend the sport for anyone who wants to learn a new skill.

Frisbee: 7/10

(But only 3/10 if played in the Netherlands when you don’t speak Dutch).

The number of UWA alumni we probably shouldn’t mention continues to rise

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YOGA In early 2020, I was searching for a rebrand. I decided to travel to Lombok solo and stay at a Yoga retreat. A catered, all-classes-inclusive yoga ‘getaway’. I met some really interesting people from all around the world who, like me, were just looking for a place to ‘get away from it all’. But who, unlike me, had all tried yoga before committing to a fairly intensive boot-camp.

My package deal included a private lesson with an instructor. While waiting for my lesson to begin, I sat cross-legged on the mat, taking in the calming scents and sounds of the tropical surrounds which enclosed the outdoor yoga alfresco. Then, in walked my instructor.

He sat directly in front of me, also crosslegged, smiling. When he opened his mouth, he had a smooth-as-honey Californian accent and frosty white smile. He proceeded to help me into a headstand. I could have fallen on my neck and died a happy woman.

I hope this guide is helpful for anyone else who, like myself, is the mediocre participant in every sport they attempt. Be proud, be bold.

Don’t let poor catching ability hold you back from trying new things. Life is less about the continuous contest and more about the value of experience. Like my mother always said, life begins where your comfort zone ends!

So, get out there, go embarrass yourself, and make some memories - just make sure to brush up on your Dutch first.

Yoga may seem relaxing but is far more strenuous than anticipated. However, after a beautiful week away in the forests of Indonesia, I felt quite revitalised and recuperated. The only contest I was in was with myself, and this was a refreshing challenge.

Yoga: 9/10

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That’s time! Con/test over. Go home. Have an ice-bath. You lost the game.

Stuff You A Notice to Cease and Desist

Faisal Hamza wishes he shined more shoes.

Charlie Mills is embarrassed to admit that he doesn’t like avocado.

Sam Smithson AKA Sam ASSson AKA Buttface Smithson AKA L0ser The opposite end of my Step-Mum’s House Cul-De-Sac

Elliot ‘The Money’ Gould My Stepmum’s House Cul-De-Sac Perth, WA, Planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy, Universe Three (probably, idk)

Re: Cease and Desist Demand Dear Sam Smithson AKA Sam ASSson AKA Buttface Smithson AKA L0ser: Please relocate (or, better yet, incinerate) your stupid idiot ‘lemonade’ stand out of MY cul-de-sac. I have been doing business here for a very long time, ever since last week when my Dad said I was allowed to, provided I finished my Mathletics homework. The locals have gotten used to my signature sweet chilli x garlic aioli x Mountain Dew x red-thingfrom-my-step-mum’s-pantry-mega-mix lemonade and I think it is unfair and ridiculous of you to start selling a second brand of lemonade. One is enough; two is unreasonable and overwhelming and crazy and stupid. Your inferior product has no place here.

In addition, your use of unsavoury business tactics, namely the use of water balloons and a hose to disrupt my stand, is unsavoury and in violation of countless fair-trade practices.

This will serve as your legal notice to cease and desist all further actions described above.

I may use telephone recording devices to document any telephone or Discord conversations that we may have in the future when we play on Stacey Miller’s Minecraft PVP server if you fail to comply with this cease and desist letter. You are hereby instructed to comply with this letter immediately or face legal sanctions under applicable federal and state or territory law (the prime minister may come bash you). I intend to keep a log of any contact you make with me after you receive this letter.

Please give this very important matter the utmost attention and please stop telling Stacey Miller that my lemonade tastes like pee because it factually doesn’t, and if I had a crush on her, WHICH I DON’T, but if I did, that would be super embarrassing and she probably wouldn’t want to talk to me and also ban me from her server which would suck because I would lose my Unbreaking III, Sharpness V, and Smite II Diamond sword which I grinded super hard for.

I would like to remind both you and your legal team (your dad doesn’t count because he’s an actual lawyer, that’s not fair) that if you choose not to resolve this and allow it to reach court, you will be liable for both the damages incurred and any associated legal costs to our client.

Sincerely, Elliot ‘The Money’ Gould Representing Elliot Gould 63

Inside This Edition:

The Establishment Blues - Jack Meakins the fifty move rule - Ellie Fisher ART - The Ten QMandments - Paige Bentley Thanks For Participating - Aideen Gallagher And so, so much more...

2021 | Established 1929 64