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Opinion
Imprint, Friday, October 9, 2009
The turkey dump is upon us funny thing is, I truly feel pain in my chest, as if my heart was actually breaking inside of me. Psychologically or not, my entire body seems to shut down if I am shut out from love. I wish I could find the perfect analogy, or the perfect metaphor to describe the darkness one feels when abandoned. The weight of the broken heart is too much to bear for many people. Every time I had a breakup, I have tried to compose myself in the most sane way possible. I would remove everything about my ex from my life. Fill up boxes of stuff, delete pictures, contact information, and even their friends... all purged. I didn’t know any other way to get through it, other than pretending that it never happened. There were a few times I failed miserably, though. I have left bars or socials in tears, avoided certain people, and secretly hated any of my friends who would interact with my exes. I would take extra care to look my best if I knew my ex was going to be around. I would try to do impressive things, and somehow hope that my ex would get word of it. I would try to appear as normal, cool, and happy as possible when I would run into an ex. I even remember befriending my exes friends, in hopes to get a glimpse of the one who got away. There’s just something about heartache that ruins
the better parts of us. We cocoon our life around thoughts that you’ll never find someone that good again, or no one will ever want to be with me, or no one will ever match you or love you the same way again. I remember emailing an ex that took me over a year to get over, and telling him that even though I had a new boyfriend (whom was very short lived), I still loved my ex. If I were dating someone new, and they did that behind my back – I would be devastated. I have never liked the person I became when I was newly single; being newly single is complete social destruction for many of us. I have never been the type to seek meaningless interaction with people from a bar, or just in general – so to fill the void of loneliness I would try to find things I could be proud of. When you don’t want to get out of bed, and you don’t enjoy doing anything, you can certainly guess that nothing you do will make yourself internally proud. Only after you can eat again, only after you can function normally (or at least on the outside), can you get yourself out there and try things to fill the void. The worst breakup thus far of my life landed during the fall season one year. By the time the winter rolled around, I was dying of loneliness, but I still wasn’t ready to date anyone new yet. Out of absolutely nowhere one day, I went
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to the nearest snowboard shop, and bought myself a new partner. My new partner was my snowboard. I had never snowboarded a day in my life until the day I bought that board. I remember spending nights on Chicopee, falling down again and again, bruised, tired, and beaten. I remember falling so hard one time that I knocked the wind out of myself so violently that all I could do was lay with my back to the snow, trying to gasp a breath of air, staring at the night sky. A tear rolled down my
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• Go onto YouTube and look up some breakup videos. I suggest Kandee Johnson’s breakup advice - http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=jrEHoKQOIa4. • Learn how to bake the best cookies imaginable. If you mess it up the first time, then you have something else to keep you busy. If you don’t want to eat a whole batch of cookies, it looks like you’re going to have to find some human interaction to hand them off to people. It’s a win-win!
I have never liked the person I became when I was newly single; being newly single is complete social destruction for many of us.
face, and I remember thinking “this is the first tear I have cried that wasn’t about him since he left.” It’s sounds so stupid, and so silly, but that tear was the first sign to let me know that I was doing better. That I was going to be okay. That being alone, cold, and broken is much better than not living at all. You never know exactly when you have moved on from someone, and in some cases, people never move on. Don’t hate yourself for being so hung up on someone for the rest of your life, just take it one day at a time. Each day you make it though without doing something crazy, consider that a win. One day at a time, and before you know it, months and years will pass and you will struggle to find out what exactly it was that left you so broken hearted in the first place. Stay strong and know that in the future you will look back on this time, and you can choose right now if you want to be proud or ashamed of the way you will remember this time. Here are a couple of things that can keep you busy while your mind tries to heal itself. • Make a list of all the things you didn’t like about your ex, and compare it to a list of good qualities • Think about the things you have always wanted to do, that you held back on because of your ex. Now is the time to go do them!
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he lowest time of my life was when I was suffering from a broken heart. For those of you who have ever had your heart broken, or whether you are going through it right now, please know one thing: You will survive. The Turkey Dump is upon us, which means... it’s breakup season. This is the first time for many first years to return to their hometown on Thanksgiving to finally see their high school sweetheart for the first time since coming here. Many of you will come back feeling like half of you is missing. Many of you will come back with mixed messages and the idea that something bad is about to happen. And the smallest group of you will continue to be in your lovely relationship. Not all of us are so lucky. This article is for the recently single, the recently broken, and the recently ruined. I can be in the happiest moods of life nowadays, but I will never forget the times in my life when I really thought it wasn’t worth living anymore. Loving someone with all your heart and then having to lose them is quite possibly the worst feeling a person can have. A broken heart will find the deepest darkest places within us, strip us from all of our securities, and take over your life. If some of you are like me, you can’t eat, sleep, talk, or go about your everyday life when dealing with heartache. The
• Talk to people who give honest and positive advice. Don’t ask Lizzy Loose Pants who will try to drag you to the bar to hook up with a random. Ask someone who is in a solid relationship or someone you know who has been through this stuff. You’d probably be surprised as to what you parents or siblings might know. All you have to do is ask. • Talk to the opposite sex that you’re interested in. They will give you the best advice, I find. I asked a guy pal for some breakup advice once, and his words still resonate with me today. Thanks Cory and Dave, if you’re reading this, you really did help me. • Watch your favourite movie. Mine is Amelie, and it’s a beautiful love story filled with hope. • Pick up snowboarding like me, or is you hate sports, go buy a guitar. Have no money? Take up poetry or photography. Find something new to stimulate your mind to the point that you don’t have the chance to think about your ex. If the mind is busy, the mind can’t wander. • Reconnect with the people you haven’t seen in a while. If they were absent in your life because of your partner, then now is the best time to rekindle that friendship. Whatever you do, make sure that future you would be proud of the heartbroken mess that you are today.