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Friday, April 9, 2010 Issue 57

E D I T O R I A L L Y

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Vol. 113

I N D E P E N D E N T

Knoxville native comedian Henry Cho does stand-up for charity

N E W S P A P E R

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T H E

U N I V E R S I T Y

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Associate dean of students to leave UT Robby O’Daniel Chief Copy Editor

W.Va. mine rescue teams eager to resume search MONTCOAL, W.Va. — Rescuers running on adrenaline waited Thursday for a massive drill to vent noxious gas so they could safely resume the underground search for four coal miners missing since an explosion that killed 25 colleagues.

They had spent more than four hours working their way through the Upper Big Branch mine by rail car and on foot, but had to turn back because of an explosive mix of gases in the area they needed to search.

Crews at the surface resumed drilling in an effort to get fresh air into the mine and hoped 32 rescuers could return by about 7 p.m.

They had made it within 500 feet of an airtight chamber with four days worth of food, water and oxygen where they hoped the miners might have sought refuge after the worst U.S. mining disaster in more than two decades.

Several of the long-time colleagues of J.J. Brown, associate dean of students, cannot remember a time when Brown was not at the university.

And yet that time will soon come.

Thursday morning Brown accepted the position of associate vice chancellor and dean of students at Appalachian State University.

He anticipates his last day at UT to be in midMay, with his first day at ASU being in the first week of June.

Brown started as an

undergraduate student at UT in 1989. He went on to work in the dean of students office in 1993, attend graduate school in 19941995 and serve as the director of orientation for a stint beginning in 1995 and then later in 1997.

He became associate dean of students beginning in August 2001.

When he and his family move to Boone, N.C., the home of ASU, in June, it will be the first time Brown will be away from UT in over two decades.

He said the experience will be different.

“It’s going to be very strange,” Brown said. “I don’t know if it’s fully set

BROWN in, in the last 12 hours since I accepted.”

He said the new position offers a new opportunity, yet another in a long line of opportunities his career has afforded him.

“Certainly it’s bittersweet,” Brown said. “(I’ve) been here at the University

States push to pay teachers based on performance ATLANTA — For parents and politicians hungry for better schools, the idea of paying teachers more if their students perform better can seem as basic as adding two and two or spelling “cat.”

Yet just a handful of schools and districts around the country use such strategies. In some states, the idea is effectively illegal.

That could all be changing as the federal government wields billions of dollars in grants to lure states and school districts to try the idea. The money is persuading lawmakers around the country, while highlighting the complex problems surrounding pay-for-performance systems.

— from The Associated Press

felt right, and I came to the University of Tennessee in 1989 because it felt right. Appalachian feels right at this point in time. But it’s going to be hard.”

Over his tenure at UT, Brown said there were many accomplishments and projects that he looks back on fondly, principal among them the partnership with student government over the last 12 years.

More specifically, he said he loved the chance to get to see results when communicating with students years after their time at UT. See BROWN on Page 3

Outgoing SGA members welcome new officials as transition occurs Robby O’Daniel Chief Copy Editor

Texas explosives suspect motivated by anger TYLER, Texas — A man accused of dropping more than 30 explosive devices into mailboxes and other locations across East Texas did so out of anger toward the government and was acting alone, federal authorities said Thursday.

Larry Eugene North was indicted Wednesday on charges of possessing an illegal firearm or destructive device. He could face 10 years in prison if convicted.

Authorities believe North is responsible for planting 36 devices between Feb. 5 and April 7, said Robert R. Champion, an agent with the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Authorities previously said they had found at least 16 explosive devices, including five pipe bombs.

of Tennessee for a long time. It’s a special, dear place for me. (I’ve) worked with outstanding faculty, staff, but for me, the best part is working with our students. It’s a new opportunity, a new chapter, to kind of start again.”

He said a major factor in choosing to go to ASU was the community it offered, which Brown felt was a good match for him and his family.

“Certainly as I explored more, I really learned that Appalachians really care about students,” he said.

“Students are a major focus and priority for them, and that really made me more intrigued. It just

Katie Freeman • The Daily Beacon

President-elect Tommy Jervis and vice-president elect Angie Sessons swear into office Thursday night at the SGA transition. The new SGA passed their first bill, Resolution 0-111, the same night, recognizing all the accomplishments of the previous administration.

At the SGA transition on Thursday night in the UC, outgoing SGA executive board members passed the student-government baton to the newly elected board.

Outgoing members Laura Nishida, Corey Hipps and Jamie Lonie welcomed in new SGA President Tommy Jervis, new SGA Vice President Angie Sessoms and new SGA Student Services Director Avery Howard.

Jervis started his speech by thanking Nishida, Hipps and Lonie, who he said gave him a taste for student government.

He also thanked everyone who participated in the Fuse campaign from November to March. He said they let Fuse “blow up their email box” and constantly kept the word out about the party by wearing Fuse T-shirts around campus, among other things.

“That was my biggest hesitation doing this, running for president or anything,” Jervis said. “Who would work alongside us? Who would want to work alongside us? And you guys really showed the gratitude, and I’m really appreciative of all of you.”

The new SGA passed resolution 0-111, recognizing all the accomplishments of the 2009-2010 SGA, which Jervis said, among other things, included: implementing a virtual suggestion box, upgrading vending machines, installing cameras in parking garages to ensure safety and enabling UT students to choose between Gmail and Microsoft Live e-mail.

Former SGA President Nishida said every word she heard about SGA over the last year either encouraged or inspired her.

“Each positive comment I hear about SGA, I take to heart with a smile on my face,” she said. “And each critique I hear makes me want to work even harder and let those who will be coming and stepping into our places next year know that this is what they should pay attention to. I know Tommy, Angie and Avery will do everything they can to take Corey, Jamie and myself’s hard work to the next level. And bring new ideas and programs to the plate.”

New Graduate Student Senate President Andrew Morse and new GSS Vice President Colin Spaulding were also sworn in, and GSS outstanding members Susan Sutton, graduate student in education, and Houston Johnson, graduate student in history, were recognized.

The event also recognized, among other honors, SGA outstanding members — Avery Howard and Ross Rowland.

The SGA transition ended with Jervis announcing his list of appointments and nominees for positions. The nominees will be voted upon at the next SGA meeting on April 13.

Moot court team qualifies for nationals Nathan Berger Staff Writer After placing first in the Regional Patent Moot Court, UT law students Joshua Lee and Stephen Adams are headed for the national tournament.

Moot court is an informal competition for law students to get acquainted with real-life court experience. Opposing teams argue specific points of law in front a panel of judges.

“The strategy is to answer the questions while making your points and making it seem as effortless as possible,” Jamie Carter, UT Moot Court Board chair and student assistant in law, said. “And the judges will throw some zingers at

you.”

Different moot courts are set up based on subject matter. The patent moot court is done at an appellate level, with no witnesses or exhibits.

“Basically, you have a set record that has a numerated finding of fact, assuming that a hypothetical trial has already taken place,” Lee said. “Then in light of those set of facts, you argue one side or the other. It’s basically all law, there’s no trial aspect of it.”

Patent law is regarded by some as an obscure area of the law. It mainly deals with the issuance and maintenance of U.S. patents. These patents protect inventors’ rights by preventing third parties from practicing a patented product for up to 20 years.

The patent law competition this year focuses on two issues: the obviousness of an invention and the enablement of the invention.

Last month in Houston, Texas, Lee and Adams competed against 17 other schools at one of the four regional tournaments held across the country. Though they faced schools well-known for their patent law programs, the team beat out the competition.

This is only the second year UT has fielded a team in the patent division.

“It’s definitely going to be some stiff competition up there, but I wouldn’t say we’re nervous really,” Lee said. “I think any nervousness got taken care of in Houston.”

Eight teams, the top two from

each regional tournament, will be competing at the national level, including universities with nationally recognized law programs, such as the University of Michigan and Georgetown.

Nationals will be held from April 21 to April 23 in Washington D.C. The national competition will take place in a specialized federal court that primarily hears appeals concerning patents.

“Once I begin my career and begin practicing, I probably wouldn’t argue at this court, if ever, for probably seven to ten years,” Lee said. “So it’s pretty cool getting that opportunity to argue not only in the facility of the court, but also in front of the court’s judges while I’m still in law school.”

T GH I N TE LE! A L T W HUT E N S

CAMPUS CALENDAR

2 • The Daily Beacon

Friday, April 9, 2010

InSHORT

?

What’s HAPPENING AROUND CAMPUS

April 9 - April 12, 2010 Friday, April 9 —

• 12 p.m. until 1 p.m. — Bob Hatcher, professor and distinguished scientist in the Department of Earth and Planetary Sciences, speaks on “Evidence for a 25,000-Year History of Earthquake Activity in Eastern Tennessee” in dining rooms C-D in the ThompsonBoling Arena. This week’s UT Science Forum is free and open to the public.

• 3:30 p.m. — Thomas Pogge of Yale University speaks on “The Health Impact Fund: Financing New Medicines Accessible to All” in the College of Law Auditorium. The lecture is free and open to the public.

• 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. — The CPC Film Committee screens Toy Story and Toy Story 2 as part of their “Revisiting Childhood” series in the UC Auditorium. Tickets are $1 with a UT ID and $2 without.

Monday, April 12 — • 3:30 p.m. — Ramunas Stepanauskas, senior scientist and director of the Single Cell Genomics Center at the Bigelow Laboratory for Ocean Sciences, speaks on “Redefining Microbial Genomics: Sequencing Individual Organisms (Cells)” in room 32 of the Alumni Memorial Building.

This microbiology seminar is free and open to the public.

Katie Freeman • The Daily Beacon

Former Student Services Director Jamie Lonie gives the crowd a laugh at the SGA transition Thursday night. Lonie, former SGA president Laura Nishida and former SGA Vice President Corey Hipps vacated office in favor of new officers after the night’s activities.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY • 1865 — At Appomattox, Va., Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee surrenders his 28,000 troops to Union Gen. Ulysses S. Grant, effectively ending the American Civil War. Forced to abandon the Confederate capital of Richmond, blocked from joining the surviving Confederate force in North Carolina, and harassed constantly by Union cavalry, Lee had no other option.

In retreating from the Union army’s Appomattox Campaign, the Army of Northern Virginia had stumbled through the Virginia countryside stripped of food and supplies. At one point, Union cavalry forces under Gen. Philip Sheridan had actually outrun Lee’s army, blocking their retreat and taking 6,000 prisoners at Sayler’s Creek. Desertions were mounting daily, and by April 8 the Confederates were surrounded with no possibility of escape. On April 9, Lee sent a message to Grant announcing his willingness to surrender. The two generals met in the parlor of the Wilmer McLean home at one o’clock in the afternoon. Lee and Grant, both holding the highest rank in their respective armies, had known each other slightly during the Mexican War and exchanged awkward personal inquiries. Characteristically, Grant arrived in his muddy field uniform while Lee had turned out in full dress attire, complete with sash and sword. Lee asked for the terms, and Grant

hurriedly wrote them out. All officers and men were to be pardoned, and they would be sent home with their private property — most importantly, the horses, which could be used for a late spring planting. Officers would keep their side arms, and Lee’s starving men would be given Union rations.

• 1959 — The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) introduces America’s first astronauts to the press: Scott Carpenter, L. Gordon Cooper Jr., John H. Glenn Jr., Virgil “Gus” Grissom, Walter Schirra Jr., Alan Shepard Jr. and Donald Slayton. The seven men, all military test pilots, were carefully selected from a group of 32 candidates to take part in Project Mercury, America’s first manned space program. NASA planned to begin manned orbital flights in 1961. On Oct. 4, 1957, the USSR scored the first victory of the “space race” when it successfully launched the world’s first artificial satellite, Sputnik, into Earth’s orbit. In response, the United States consolidated its various military and civilian space efforts into NASA, which dedicated itself to beating the Soviets to manned space flight. In January 1959, NASA began the astronaut selection procedure, screening the records of 508 military test pilots and choosing 110 candidates. This number was arbitrarily

divided into three groups, and the first two groups reported to Washington. Because of the high rate of volunteering, the third group was eliminated. Of the 62 pilots who volunteered, six were found to have grown too tall since their last medical examination.

• 2009 — The Honda FCX Clarity, a four-door sedan billed as the planet’s first hydrogen-powered fuel-cell vehicle intended for mass production, wins the World Green Car award at the New York Auto Show. The first FCX Clarity cars came off the assembly line at a Honda plant in Takanezawa, Japan, in June 2008. As The New York Times reported at the time: “Fuel-cell vehicles have been a sort of holy grail of the auto industry, offering the promise of driving without emitting air-polluting exhaust. Fuel cells work by combining hydrogen and oxygen from ordinary air to make electricity, in a process whose only byproducts are water and heat.” According to Honda, which reportedly spent more than 15 years and millions of dollars developing its fuel-cell technology, the FCX Clarity is more fuel-efficient than a gas-powered car or hybrid and gets 74 miles per gallon of fuel.

— Courtesy of History.com

Friday, April 9, 2010

The Daily Beacon • 3

STATE&LOCAL

BROWN continued from Page 1

Center for Executive Education makes leadership changes The Center for Executive Education in the UT College of Business Administration is making several key personnel changes.

Carolyn Cuddy has become the center’s chief operating officer, a newly created position for the center. She simultaneously continues as the center’s executive director of Executive MBA programs. Chuck Parke is the center’s new executive director of non-degree programs, replacing John Riblett, who is retiring after 34 years. Ron Solmonson has assumed the newly created position of director of business operations for the center’s National Defense Business Institute.

Cuddy received both her undergraduate degree in marketing and MBA from the UT College of Business Administration. In her nine years with the center and 20 years with UT Knoxville, she has received the Dean’s Award for Excellence and the College of Business Administration Award for Professionalism.

Parke received both his undergraduate degree in industrial engineering and his Executive MBA from UT Knoxville. Parke has been a full-time faculty member with the center since 2007 and was instrumental in developing the center’s training and leadership programs for managers and executives involved in the manufacturing sector.

Solmonson served for approximately 10 years as the center’s director of operations prior to assuming his new position. He was on the center’s leadership team and responsible for the center’s logistics unit, registrar operations, technology integration, administrative activities, purchasing and facilities management.

Conference call with Senate leaders on climate and energy set for Monday UT students, faculty, staff and community are invited to participate in a conference call with the offices of Tennessee Senators Lamar Alexander and Bob Corker to hear directly from Senate staffers on climate and energy policy.

Dubbed “Let’s Talk, Tennessee,” the conference call will take place on April 12 at 11 a.m. and is hosted by UT Knoxville sociology Assistant Professor Paul Gellert in partnership with the Bard Center for Environmental Policy, a division of Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, N.Y. The call is part of the Bard Center’s nationwide initiative, Campus2Congress, which aims to engage young people directly with their policymakers in conversations regarding climate and energy legislation.

Gellert, the conference call organizer, said this is a critical time for climate and clean energy policy as legislation is now being prepared on Capitol Hill that could define the U.S. response to climate change.

While the call is designed to connect the campus to the Senate, interested community members are welcome to send in their own questions and join the call as well.

Gellert and the Bard Center for Environmental Policy hope to involve up to 500 Tennessee students, faculty, staff and citizens in “Let’s Talk, Tennessee.”

To join the call on Monday, dial 712-432-3100 and then enter conference code 253385. To sign up and/or submit questions for the Senators, visit: http://tinyurl.com/LetsTalkRSVP.

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“(Students) struggle, perhaps, or evolve, and they learn and grow,” Brown said. “And they graduate. And they go off and do amazing things in the real world. ... And hearing them talk about their experiences here in Knoxville as a Tennessee Volunteer and how that translated them for success down the road, to me, that’s the best thing we do. That’s the beauty of what you do. And planting those seeds and planting that level of encouragement for folks to go out and do whatever it is they want to do.”

Tim Rogers, vice chancellor for student affairs, said Brown is “more than just an employee.”

“He’s the embodiment of an impeccable character and an exemplary work ethic,” Rogers said.

Rogers lauded Brown for his communicative ability at all levels of university life — with students, faculty and staff.

“He has the unique ability to work at every level and engage at every level,” Rogers said.

“Students need a very positive influence, and he understands student development theory, and also in addition to theo-

ry, he is absolutely incredible in terms of application of theory in a professional environment.”

Former Student Services Director Jamie Lonie said at the SGA transition on Thursday that he became comfortable talking to Brown quickly after first meeting him because of how personable he was.

Brown said he simply tries to be authentic with students.

“The thing that I try to always do is just be me,” he said. “What you see is what you get.

That’s what I try, even when I interviewed with Appalachian last week, I wanted them to see me for who I am. I wanted them to call me J.J., and that’s my style.”

“I love working with students,” he said. “They keep me young.”

Steve Catlett, associate vice chancellor for alumni affairs, is one of those who can’t remem-

ber not knowing Brown.

“It’s kind of like losing a family member, one of those good guys who does things right,” Catlett said.

Mary Holtman-Reed, director of alumni programs, said Brown is a “great sounding board” for ideas, and his replacement “has big shoes to fill.”

Catlett was saddened

by Brown leaving but encouraged him in his new career path.

“It’s going to be a big loss,” Catlett said.

“Appalachian State is fortunate to have him. We’re happy for him and his family to have that opportunity but sad for the UT community. ...

But he’ll always have orange blood though.”

Brown agreed about always having orange blood.

“Certainly as an alumnus, I’ll always be a Vol,” Brown said. “ That’s a special thing in and of itself.”

4 • The Daily Beacon

Friday, April 9, 2010

OPINIONS

LetterEditor to the

Laptop use enhances learning, involvement in classes In his April 7 column, “Classrooms Should Ban Use of Laptops,” Amien Essif argues that the use of laptops is disrespectful, disruptive and unnecessary. As someone who uses a laptop to take notes in his classes every day, I emphatically disagree with him.

First of all, I highly doubt that professors are as offended as Essif makes them out to be.

Perhaps they are, perhaps they aren’t — since neither of us are professors, neither of us really knows. Certainly, if a professor asked me to close my laptop, I would. But I highly doubt that professors are as insecure as Essif paints them, and I doubt they need validation from a group of students who (as a general rule) are far less educated, informed and intelligent than them.

And even if professors are offended, isn’t the act by which they are offended the act of not paying attention? If the people Essif criticizes weren’t on a laptop, they would surely be texting, talking or simply not in class. Non-academic laptop use is a symptom of the (for lack of a better word) disease, not the disease in and of itself — Essif should be concerned with the disease, not the symptom.

Secondly, Essif claims that use of a laptop is somehow disruptive to those around you. I could possibly see how this would be the case, but only if one was utterly disinterested to begin with and looking for something to entertain himself. I seriously doubt that Essif lacks the willpower to look at his professor just because someone next to him is surfing Facebook. If this is actually the case, I would suggest that Essif is the one with the attention span problem, not the other way around.

Lastly, Essif claims that using a laptop is unnecessary. Perhaps this is a fundamental difference between the two of us — he can not understand why I detest taking notes by hand, and I cannot understand how he doesn’t see laptops as inherently superior. Personally, I type around 90 words per minute. The average person is able to write around 30 words per minute.

This means that I can take down three times as much information in notes than I could otherwise. It means that not only can I write down the things that my professors are writing on the board, but I can also write down verbatim the commentary they are making. Essif said that it is better to have “half digested notes,” not a “complete recording,” but fortunately, I can have both, and I am very glad I can. But in addition to taking notes, I have used my laptop to reference the articles we’re discussing, fact check what other people are saying or look up facts of my own to support my argument. Surely these are legitimate reasons to use a laptop?

Even if all of the claims Essif makes were completely true (with the possible exception of disrupting others, since that would begin to infringe on other students’ rights), it would still not be a basis for banning laptops. The university should not act paternalistically toward students, but rather allow — and even encourage — them to suffer the consequences of the choices they make. That is one of the fundamental lessons students learn in college, and we should by no means avoid it.

Robert Lumley Sophomore in chemical and biomolecular engineering

Disturbing trend fails to recognize socialism's flaws In light of recent letters to the editor published The Daily Beacon calling for a socialist government/economic system to replace the capitalist system set forth by our founding fathers, proponents seem to over look a simple yet fundamental flaw in the socialist doctrine.

To illustrate this point, I propose that UTK adopt a new socialist grading system. In this system, professors would average all the grades after the test, and assign everyone the average grade. This is “more fair” to the students who didn’t have a chance to study or for some other reason did poorly on the exam. Of course, after a while, the top grade-earners would figure out that there’s nothing to gain by working hard, so their output would decline. Soon, too, the bottom grade-earners would figure out that they can do nothing and still get a passing grade, so their output would decline. Pretty soon everyone in the class would be failing. And no one would be happy.

Therein lies the fundamental problem with socialism: It penalizes the producers, the ones who create jobs and incomes, and it provides a reverse incentive to the non-producers to do even less. You can’t lift up another group by tearing another group down. Perhaps Margaret Thatcher said it best when she intoned that “the problem with socialism is eventually you run out of other people’s money.” Students at the University of Tennessee would do well to pay heed.

Adam Prosise Undecided freshman DOONESBURY • Garry Trudeau

Columns of The Daily Beacon are reflections of the individual columnist, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or its editorial staff.

Women’s sports deserve respect from men Bec aus e I Said So by

Amber Harding

My nephews like to build forts.

They use anything they can find — chairs, blankets, tables, boxes — and pile them together strategically. The result is a comfy little bungalow just large enough for their little 8- to 12-year-old bodies. Here, they meet to discuss video games, Legos and whatever else little boys talk about. On the outside of the fort hangs a sign made of construction paper. It reads, “No girls allowed.”

Precious, right? It’s not like girls have ever done anything awful to them. And we all know the presence of 8- to 12-year-old girls wouldn’t hurt my nephews at all. But at this age, girls have cooties. Boys will be boys, and they’ll surely grow out of it.

Or will they? You may have noticed that, along with the men’s NCAA basketball tournament, the women’s tournament was also going on during the past few weeks.

One thing that’s been bothering me is the hostility I see coming from many men toward women’s basketball. I just can’t figure it out.

These women have never done anything to these chauvinistic male critics. And they’re certainly not hurting anyone by playing basketball. So I have come to the only logical solution: Girls still have cooties!

It’s really the only explanation. Take the Lady Vols, for example. Sure, they’d love to see as many fans in the arena as possible on game nights. But last time I checked, Pat Summitt wasn’t breaking into men’s houses, tying them to chairs and forcing them to watch Lady Vol games. So if they don’t like women’s basketball, why can’t these guys just not watch? Why do they have to ridicule these women simply because they play a sport?

Oh wait, I get it. Basketball is a man’s sport.

Only big, strong macho men can play it. How dare women think they can leave the volleyball court or the cheerleading sidelines and pick up

a basketball? The Lady Vols are clearly out of line. Maybe we should put a “No girls allowed” sign on the doors of Thompson-Boling?

In one of my classes, a guy was making fun of women’s basketball players because they finish college. (I know, getting a degree is such a stupid thing to do.) He mocked the WNBA and the modest salaries it pays. A circle of his male cronies sat around this guy as he provided entertainment — like the class clown in elementary school who makes fun of girls because he’s afraid to talk to them.

I have seen similar situations take place on Twitter. Several of my tweeps posted their expert opinions during the tournament. These tweets included such analyses as “I don’t watch women’s basketball cuz it’s a waste of time” and “No defense and a missed lay-in. Typical women’s basketball.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I have seen men miss lay-ups and play poor defense, too. Regardless, this kind of mockery is uncalled for. Sure, I’d expect it from my little nephews in their fort, but not from grown men.

That would be like me going to a men’s basketball game with a poster that says, “Girls rule, boys drool!” It would show about the same level of maturity.

I’ve worked for a WNBA team. I’ve seen how hard these girls work and the passion they have for the game. On top of that, they’re excellent role models and care about the community around them. The last thing they deserve is to be ridiculed. I’ll say it again: If you don’t want to watch it, fine. No one is forcing you.

But I dare you to tell me these women aren’t talented. Yes, the style of the women’s game is much different than the men’s. The Lady Vols don’t go up and down the court pulling off flashy dunks. But they play tremendous basketball, and I’m willing to bet they could beat any one of you reading this at a game of one-on-one. I’m just wondering how long these women have to be “female athletes” before they can just be “athletes.”

Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you have your cootie shot. Time to tear down the fort and grow up, boys.

— Amber Harding is a junior in journalism and electronic media. She can be reached at ahardin8@utk.edu.

KFC brings innovation to sandwich world I T hou ght Yo u h a d C l a s s by

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For centuries, mankind was plagued with disgusting eating habits: Men and women would eat with their bare hands. This not only allowed juices to run all down their bodies, but it also prevented primitive man from savoring those delicious juices (unless of course they licked themselves clean afterward). It was truly a disturbing time in human history.

By the 18th century, however, man achieved what many esteemed scientists call the “last phase of human evolution” and invented the sandwich (creationists by contrast deem this “God correcting his one mistake”). Now juices absorbed into two pieces of bread instead of flowing down one’s shirt. This was not only cleaner, but also allowed the eater to savor the full flavor of the juices.

John Montagu, Fourth Earl of Sandwich, was truly ahead of his time. Not only was the sandwich vastly cleaner to eat, but it was also efficient, delicious and as American as apple pie (despite its humble beginnings in England). Is it a coincidence that this final leap occurred in the same century that brought us Mozart, Goya, Voltaire, Paine, Watt and Blackbeard?

Montagu’s creation led to a food renaissance. In 1904, the world was blessed with the introduction of the hamburger at the St. Louis World’s Fair. A few years later, in 1921, White Castle unveiled tiny hamburgers, which would ultimately become known across the South as “Krystals” (because there’s nothin’ like it). Finally in 1967, Truett Cathy opened the first Chick-fil-A. Though historians debate whether or not Cathy invented chicken, the humble Cathy claims to have invented “just the chicken sandwich.” Other notable developments include the cheeseburger, double cheeseburger, patty melt, McRib, Philly cheese steak, Reuben and, of course, the PB&J. It was largely assumed that this renaissance

had ended years ago. For decades restaurants had rehashed past innovations instead of creating new ones. For example, Hardees’ chefs (who fail to realize people only go there for breakfast) released thick-burgers. This was boring. Many chains developed and released different variations of fish sandwiches. This was disgusting. Others tried to return to the basics of sandwiches and made only traditional sandwiches and burgers. This was nothing new. It seemed we had entered a sandwich dark age. Thank God, however, we will soon be saved.

April 12 is most famously known as the day on which Henry Clay was born, the Euro Disney Resort opened, communist Franklin Roosevelt died and communist (seriously this time) Yuri Gagarin became the first man in space. All of these achievements will soon be eclipsed because the newest variation will be available to the public on this holiest of days.

This will single handedly redefine the sandwich, and the most unlikely restaurant — KFC — will do it.

On Monday the general public will finally get its hands on the most anticipated creation since sliced bread: the KFC Double Down. The name in and of itself is misleading. This is not a simple double chicken sandwich, but instead a true testament to human engineering. KFC has decided that bread is both unnecessary and disgusting and has replaced the traditional slice of bread with a piece of chicken. You read that correctly: Pieces of chicken (fried or grilled) will now take the place of the bun.

This leads to the obvious question: With meat on the outside, what’s on the inside? No, not bread. Instead, KFC has placed bacon, cheese and sauce in chicken’s traditional locale. Also, there is no room for vegetables, and it is a good thing too since vegetables are universally designated as the worst part of any sandwich.

Is it an overstatement to say KFC is the messiah of the sandwich world? I will let you be the judge on Monday. Until then I will be anxiously watching the Double-Down CountDown on KFC’s Web site at http://www.kfc.com/doubledown/.

— Gabe Johnson is a senior in political science and history. He can be reached at gjohns13@utk.edu.

Friday, April 9, 2010

The Daily Beacon • 5

STATE&LOCAL

Orange & White Week returns to campus Rob Davis Staff Writer This upcoming week, April 12 through April 18, the Student Government Association Traditions Committee will be hosting their annual Orange & White Week.

“The goal of Traditions Committee is that we are responsible for restoring and revitalizing traditions at the University of Tennessee, while continuing traditions as well,” Matthew Moore, assistant director of the Traditions Committee and sophomore in business, said.

“One of the traditions that we are continuing is Orange & White Week.”

Orange & White Week is always held during the week leading up to the Orange & White Game, which is the intra-squad scrimmage for the UT football team. During the week, many different campus organizations will be working together to provide a diverse schedule of events for students of the university as well as the general public.

During every event this week, there will be a box set aside for donations to Powering Smiles. Powering Smiles provides batteries to the children’s hospital to help power the toys provided to the children.

“Powering Smiles asks students to bring C or D batteries as a donation to the events,” Avery Howard, director of the Traditions Committee, said. “The hospital is always in need of batteries because the kids enjoy playing with the toys so much that there is always a high demand for batteries.”

The events will kick off Monday evening in the Humanities Amphitheater with a showing of the movie “Rudy,” which goes along with the week’s football focus.

The movie will begin at 8:30 p.m., and free food and refreshments will be available.

Tuesday evening, the Honors Council will be hosting “Orange & White Traditions Trivia” in the University Center rooms 223 and 224. The event will begin at 7 p.m. Organizations are encouraged to participate in answering questions about some of the traditions and history of the university.

While the trivia contest is going on in the UC, the

Vols baseball team will be hosting Lipscomb. During this event, campus organizations are asked to come to the game. The organization with the most students can win the porch for any baseball game of the season.

The porch was recently added to Lindsey Nelson Stadium, and the students who win this area are allowed to bring their own food and beverages or have the area catered.

Wednesday, CASNR Ambassadors, MANNRSand the Poultry Club will host a cookout in Ellington Plaza on the Agricultural Campus at 11:30 a.m. There will be hot dogs, cookies, chips and drinks available.

The Student Alumni Association will be holding an ice cream social at the Tyson House between 6:30 p.m. and 8 p.m. The special guest at the event will be Derek Dooley, who will be talking to the students.

“This event is really special, because it is the first event where Coach Dooley will be able to interact and talk to the students,” Howard said.

Thursday, Freshmen Council and SGA’s New Student Relations Committee will host an Orange & White Field Day from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on the Humanities Plaza.The event will consist of games such as egg toss, wheelbarrow races and inflatable bouncers. Refreshments will be provided free of charge.

SGA’s Volunteer Services Committee will be hosting a Safety Walk to promote safety and awareness in Fort Sanders for interested students. The walk will take place at 6 p.m. and will begin at the Panhellenic

Building.

Friday from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m., Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. and Delta Zeta Sorority will be hosting the Rocky Top Rooftop cookout on the roof top of Hess dormitory building. Free hot dogs, freeze pops and cotton candy will be available.

Following this event, Relay for Life will be held in Circle Park for cancer awareness and to raise money for cancer research. This event will take place from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m.

Beginning at 8 a.m. Saturday morning, UT’s 13 Panhellenic sorority chapters will hold a walk-through event in the Panhellenic Building. All incoming freshmen who are interested in sorority recruitment are encouraged to walk through the suites and meet representatives from each sorority. From 10 a.m. until 1:30 p.m., Kappa Alpha Order will hold a Corn Hole Tournament on Fiji Island. For $10, students will receive a spot in the tournament, catering by Moe’s and a wristband for RT’s on the Strip for a band party.

The culminating event of Orange & White Week will be held at 2 p.m. on Saturday. This event will feature an intra-squad scrimmage for the Vols football team. Tshirts designed by the Traditions Committee will be sold online throughout the week.

“As a part of this year’s Orange & White Week, the Traditions Committee is proud to present this year’s O&W Week T-shirt,” Moore said. “This year’s shirt shares a sentiment that we all can hold onto: ‘We Believe in Dooley.’ You can view the T-shirt design on the SGA Web site, which will also have the day-to-day schedule events for the week.”

The final event of the week will be hosted Sunday at 1 p.m. by SGA’s Campus Beautification Committee. The event is a campus wide cleanup, and all students are encouraged to attend.

“The events are free to any student, faculty, or staff members,” Moore said. “Each day of the week has an event that the students can come out to and experience the numerous organizations that are helping make Orange & White Week 2010 a success.”

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EMPLOYMENT

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Summer camp counselor needed to work with children ages 6-12 M-F. Must have experience working with children in group setting and be at least 20 years old. Must be reliable and energetic, and be willing to get a Class D for hire driver license. Position can continue into Fall. Call 966-2613 for more information. West Knoxville location

Read the Beacon Classifieds!

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Eff., 1BR and 2BR apartments in updated Victorians with great architectural features available now or summer or Fall. $325 - $695/mo. Within 5 min. drive to UT. (865)455-0488.

KEYSTONE CREEK 2BR apartment. Approx 4 miles west of UT on Middlebrook Pike. $500. Call (865)522-5815. Ask about our special.

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FOR RENT 10 MO. LEASES AVAILABLE Walk to campus! Student Apts. Cable, and internet included. From $330/BR. , 1, 2 and 3 BR. Prime Campus Housing (865)637-3444. www.primecampushousing.c om/tn.

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4th AND GILL Houses and apartments now available. Please call Tim at (865)599-2235.

5BR. 3BA House.

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Available August. 3BR, 2 Baths, Large Kitchen, Dishwasher, Washer & Dryer included, Central H&A, Security System, Large Porch with Swing, Deck, 5 MINUTES DRIVE TO UT CAMPUS, Free Lawn Maintenance. NO PETS. $750.00 per month. 522-4378.

Condo for rent 3BR 2BA near campus. W/D included. $375/mo each. 2833 Jersey Avenue 37919. (865)310-6977.

CAMBRIDGE ARMS Just 4 miles west of campus.

Small pets allowed. Pool and laundry rooms. 2BR at great price! Call (865)588-1087.

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CONDOS FOR RENT Condos within walking distance of UT campus.

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Franklin Station Condo for rent. 2 roommates seeking third for 3BR condo. Third BR has private bath. $450/mo. includes utilities and wireless internet. Lease required. (865)414-9619.

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ROOMMATES

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AUTOS FOR SALE 100+ vehicles $5,995 or less. Specializing in imports. www.DOUGJUSTUS.com

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Call 974-4931 NOW!

NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD • Will Shortz Across

30 Figure seen on the

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1 Crescendos 7 Eye-opening things 13 In the database, say

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40 White House girl

17 Nice thing to cut

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Renaissance II Condo for rent starting immediately or for Fall 2010. 3BR 2BA with W/D and 2 parking passes.

Call George at (865)694-4808. bigredbuck@comcast.net.

3BR, 2BA Yard, parking, D/W, W/D, A/C, hardwood floors. 1727 Laurel. Ave. $1,245/mo.

522-3711 or 974-4273.

46 “… ___ woodchuck could chuck wood?”

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ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE A L I F E

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O O F A P H A T E S T O M M A P A W I N R E P H E L L A R G E S S O A T H A L A L L T M A I E L E D O S

S E R E G A L E S I N C E

10 Try to steal a basketball from another player, e.g.

11 Cartography

T R E X S T A R P E S T S

Down 1 Not just request 2 Left on a plate 3 “There!”

4 It gets replayed 5 Gunslinger’s cry 6 Quaint photo 7 Caffeinated?

8 Tom and Huck, e.g.

12 “Journal to Eliza” author, 1767 14 Early flag warning 15 West Jordan is near it 20 Semi professionals?

24 Second of January 26 They were brought down by Olympians

9 “A lie that makes us 27 Move furtively realize truth,” per Picasso

29 Members of the genus Troglodytes

31 Times for wake-up calls, briefly 32 Longtime power provider: Abbr.

34 Cruise vehicle 35 Drumming sound 36 Arab-___ 37 Like some steaks 38 Sorrowful 41 Carol’s first word 43 Stock to hawk 44 Jobs for plumbers 47 Roles, figuratively 48 It has two critical reading sects.

51 That Mexican?

53 Charge lead-in

6 • The Daily Beacon

ENTERTAINMENT

Friday, April 9, 2010

Comedian to return home for charity show Knoxville.

Tradition of charitable laughs

CHO Nash Armstrong Editor-in-Chief On April 30, Knoxvillians taking a trip downtown may hear a strange sound coming from the Tennessee Theatre.

A “clickin’ noise.”

The noise will come from comedian Henry Cho, a native Knoxvillian, who may be best known for his Comedy Central special, “What’s That Clickin’ Noise?”

Cho’s performance will not be for profit, however, as the Rotary Club of West Knoxville and Pilot Oil Company will sponsor the event. Howard Turner, president of the West Knoxville Rotarian Chapter, said all profits, excluding overhead costs, will go to their various organizations across

Cho said his love for his hometown made him agree to the charitable performance.

“Anything I can ever do to help anybody in Knoxville, that’s something I try to jump on,” Cho said. “I was born and raised (here). That’s my hometown.

“All those songs you hear about a small town and my town and all those John Cougar (Mellencamp) … I think of Knoxville right off the bat.”

Howard said bringing a comedian or comedy show to the Tennessee Theatre has been their goal for the past three or four years, and this year was no exception.

Those in the Rotary Club who were up-todate on today’s comedic scene said Cho would be a great performer, Howard said.

“Mr. Cho is a perfect fit,” he said. “He’s a local guy, someone who has done well national and seems to be the perfect fit for our event.”

Pilot lends a helping hand With the Rotary Club on board, the event needed another larger sponsor. Alan Wright, vice president of petroleum oil and distribution for Pilot Travel Centers, said his ties to the Rotary Club helped him convince the company to sponsor the event.

Cho said having a local company as large as Pilot sponsor is a claim not many charitable organizations can make, citing Knoxville mayor and current candidate for Tennessee govenor Bill Haslam’s influence.

“Haslam, he’s running for office now,” Cho said. “Who would have thought that?

It’s not Coca-Cola or something like that, it’s a local guy. We got Pilot oil, so it’s all good.”

Wright said the proceeds for the event will go to many causes, such as Pond Gap Elementary and Meals on Wheels, but that many others will be the recepients of the money raised from the show as well.

“One of the aspects of the Rotary Club in Knoxville is that with the money we raise, we give every third-grader in Knoxville a dictionary,” Wright said. “(The Haslams) have always been involved in giving back to the community, and we’re proud (here at Pilot) to give back to Knoxville.”

Sweet Tennessee irony Of all the venues in the country, Cho said the Tennessee Theatre is one of his favorite places to perform. His hour-long special was not supposed to be filmed there, but he said he was very insistent with Comedy Central personnel.

Once there, the scene was set.

“They were wanting me to do it in New York or L.A. San Francisco was probably the biggest push, but I said there’s a theater in my hometown, and I’d like to do it there,” Cho said. “They said ‘What! That’s crazy.’ Then the director went there with a location scout, and he called me from the lobby and said ‘Man, this is perfect.’”

The downtown theater has been one of Cho’s favorites since he was a kid. He said when he returns, he reminisces about a more illegal time of his childhood.

“I used to ride the bus from West Haven when I was a kid,” Cho said. “… In those days, they’d check to see if you’d left the movie theater, so we’d walk out and try to sneak back in the back door. I got kicked out of there so many times when I was a little kid, so it’s kinda ironic that I get to go back there and perform.”

Irony aside, Cho said the opportunity to come back home was irresistible, especially for a good cause.

“Any time I have the chance to play in front of my hometown area, I do what I can,” Cho said. “I was contacted by the Rotary Club because they wanted to have me come do a show and hopefully raise some money for them also.”

Southern + Korean = South Korean While Cho has been in the comedic business a long time, his biological make-up

still gives him a leg up on other comedians.

Cho, while raised in Knoxville, is the son of Korean parents, making him a Korean American. This heritage gave him an easy one-liner to start off his acts with in the beginning of his career.

“I can come out and say, ‘Hey, I’m Henry Cho, I’m from Tennessee, and I’m Korean, so I’m South Korean.’ Bam! Joke right there,” he said. “Knowing I can do that under any circumstances is nice to have.”

Many of his mentors, including the original host of NBC’s “The Tonight Show,” Steve Allen, said he should embrace his heritage.

“He came up to me after the show, and he said, ‘You know that old saying that there’s no such thing as a new joke?’ and I said, ‘Yes sir,’ and he said, ‘Well, you’ve got about ten, so always tell those jokes, because nobody else can.’”

Not a ‘one-trick pony’ With this advantage in his comedic repertoire, Cho said it would have been easy for him to only focus on his heritage.

This, however, was not his goal.

“I didn’t want to do the old one-trick pony,” Cho said. “I didn’t want to do just the ‘Hey, I’m Asian, and I’m from Tennessee,’ but on the other hand it separated me from everybody else. It’s a fine line that I try not to cross. I always want the people leaving my show to go, ‘Man, he was funny,’ but not, ‘Man, he was funny, but all he did was that Southern Asian stuff.’”

Contrary to many comedians in today’s entertainment scene, Cho has managed to keep his comedy free of profanity. This aspect of his comedy is something Cho said he is very proud of.

“The good thing about my show is I’m clean,” Cho said. “I’ve never cussed on stage for my entire career. You can have your 8-year-old there, but hopefully they won’t laugh or get any of my jokes. My show’s not campy. It’s adult humor; it’s just clean.”

With an entertaining show, a wide array of comedy and proceeds going to a good cause, Cho said UT students should come out to his show.

Otherwise, he said, prominent Tennessee figures will not be very happy.

“Bruce Pearl, Pat Summitt and (Derek Dooley)would be very disappointed if UT students didn’t come and support me,” he said.

Friday, April 9, 2010

The Daily Beacon • 7

SPORTS

Depleted line takes baby steps Erin Exum Staff Writer As the Vols football team continued with spring practice Wednesday, head coach Derek Dooley said it will take baby steps to reach the level necessary for the fall. UT has no offensive linemen that have started a collegiate game, and Dooley said it will take time to hone their skills.

“When a newborn comes out and he or she can’t even really crawl yet, right now we’re at kind of a ‘lay on our back and whine’ stage of offensive line,” Dooley joked.

“It’s not their fault. When a newborn comes out, they’re screaming and whining and don’t know what to do. We have to kind of teach them.

Give them a little pacifier, quiet them down, feed them, make them happy. They want to crawl, then walk.”

Though it may seem as though the offensive live has a long way to go, Dooley remained confident that his young team would be prepared come fall.

“We’ll be ready,” Dooley said. “Sometimes those newborns walk at seven months, some at six. Sometimes it takes them a year-and-a-half.

Some of them will run right out of the gate. We’ll be ready by fall.”

While the offensive line may be struggling to find depth and consistency, linebackers coach Lance Thompson is grateful to have standout Nick Reveiz back on

defense.

Reveiz finally ditched his red, no contact jersey for Wednesday’s practice and participated in numerous drills with the defense.

“It put a smile on my face,” Thompson said. “Nick represents everything about college football and college athletics. He does everything right both on the field and off the field. But he only played up until the fourth game, so he missed a lot of reps. Nick’s the kind of guy that gets better every day because he pushes himself mentally, but he does have to work on the physicality. And there’s a time and place for that, and that’s going to be in the fall.”

Thompson said he is trying to mix up everyone on defense and force people to play two different positions to provide the quality depth the Vols are striving for.

Austin Johnson recently made the move to linebacker, and Thompson seemed pleased with his new position and said that the veteran Reveiz has helped Johnson improve.

“The fact that Nick is there as a player that can coach (Johnson) every play; whether he’s in or out, he’s getting coached every play,” Thompson said. “On top of that, Austin is an intelligent guy, he’s athletic, and he’s got linebacker instincts, so it’s working out.”

As the Vols continue to work on learning the new style of coaching, Thompson

said the team is responding positively and remains focused.

“They’re doing a good job learning what, why, where and when as far as the calls,” Thompson said. “They do everything I ask them to. I’m not an easy guy to play for.

I’m hard on them, but that’s just so Saturday won’t be so difficult.”

The Orange and White Game will showcase all of the new freshmen, changed positions and new coaches on April 17 in Neyland Stadium.

Stephens Leaves Vols Quarterback Nick Stephens is leaving the Tennessee football program, Hayley DeBusk • The Daily Beacon Dooley confimed Thursday night. Stephens, the only Defensive line coach Chuck Smith lines up across a tackling sled during this year’s quarterback on UT’s roster spring practice. Smith and the revamped Tennessee coaching staff will make their with any in-game experience debut next weekend in the Orange and White game. as a Vol, began to share firstteam reps with freshman Tyler Bray and junior college transfer Matt Simms earlier RECYCLE this week. Dooley said efforts YOUR to keep Stephens until the BEACON end of spring practice were unsuccessful.

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8 • The Daily Beacon

THESPORTSPAGE

Friday, April 9, 2010

Pitching plagues Diamond Vols in 14-9 loss Jason Hall Staff Writer Wednesday’s baseball game against Western Carolina was another low point on the rollercoaster that has been UT baseball’s 2010 season.

Western Carolina (19-8-1) defeated the Diamond Vols 14-9 in a game that saw the Volunteers (15-15, 2-9 SEC) playing from behind the entire night.

Pitching was a problem for the Volunteers on Wednesday, and starter Aaron Tullo, who was coming off a stellar performance in which he earned his first win of the season against Tennessee Tech, only lasted 0.2 IP. UT used eight total pitchers on the evening.

“Pitching just put us behind,” UT head coach Todd Raleigh said. “We fought back several times to get close, but you can’t give up 14 runs and expect to win. Our pitchers didn’t do a good job keeping runners on the bases. Too many runs and bases were given up. This was the worst pitching performance we’ve had since the Oregon State game.”

The early innings plagued UT the most, as Western Carolina scored 10 of its 14 runs in the first and third

innings. In fact, the first five innings took over two hours and saw both teams score a combined 17 runs.

Hitting, however, was not enough for the Tennessee team, Raleigh said.

“Even though we scored nine runs, I think we could have hit better,” he said. “We struck out 12 times tonight, and that was disappointing.”

UT’s Cody Hawn and P.J. Polk both provided home runs to keep the Vols within a close distance of the Catamounts. However, neither would be responsible for more than one hit, and Hawn struck out three times while going 1-for-4 on Wednesday.

The No. 2 through No. 4 spots in the batting order were responsible for 10 of the Vols’ 12 strikeouts. The early defecit proved to be too much for the Volunteer bats.

“They came out from the gate and hit the ball well,” Hawn said. “They immediately put up five runs from the beginning, and we did a good job battling but we just couldn’t catch up.”

The game itself had some emotional ties for Raleigh, who is a 1991 graduate of Western Carolina. Raleigh

played catcher from 1988-1991 for the Catamounts until his first year as an assistant coach at Virginia.

In 1993, Raleigh became an assistant coach at Western Carolina, and following numerous assistant coaching stints, he was hired as the head coach of the Catmounts in 2000 until accepting the UT job in 2008.

“There’s still some emotions left,” Raleigh said.

“There are still some guys left on that team from a few years ago when I was still there. But I’m not playing, so I could only ask for our players to play the game with as much heart as I was coaching with.”

The loss dropped UT back to .500 on the season with an overall record of 15-15. Western Carolina improves their record to 19-8-1.

Tennessee will resume SEC play on Friday, hosting Florida in a weekend home series at Lindsey Nelson Stadium. The Vols will look to improve on an SEC record that is currently 2-9, last in the SEC. Florida enters the weekend with a 21-7 (6-3) record and is currently second in the SEC East. The first pitches will be thrown out at 7 p.m. on Friday, 4 p.m. on Saturday and 12:30 p.m. on Sunday.

Tia Patron • The Daily Beacon

UT’s Adam King takes a swing in a game earlier this season. The Diamond Vols dropped a 14-9 decision to Western Carolina, head coach Todd Raleigh’s alma matter, on Wednesday evening.