04 01 14

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Issue 53, Volume 125

Savannah Gilman Staff Writer

Student Governmant Association campaign season is in full swing, but before election day on Wednesday and Thursday, The Volunteer Channel will host a live debate Tuesday in the Howard H. Baker Center’s Toyota Auditorium at 7:30 p.m.

The debate will bring candidates from each campaign to the stage and offer stu-

dents the chance to interact directly with the representatives.

Few are more excited for the debate than Kelsey Keny of Keny-Dugosh.

“We’re pumped about it, an opportunity like that to answer questions that students have,” Keny said. “We don’t want people just voting on ‘Oh, we saw these people on Pedestrian and handed me a muffin.’ We want people voting because they heard from the candidates what they’re about and what they want to

do to make SGA better.”

Keny said her campaign has focused on taking their message to the students, and will continue that effort with a cookout at the Black Cultural Center prior to the debate.

For Carly Frensley, presidential candidate from We Are UT, the debate provides a crucial opportunity to communicate directly to the student body.

“We’ve been working as a campaign together to make sure we all have the same

kind of vision,” Frensley said. “We’ve been really good about making sure that we represent all of the people on our campaign and as much of the student body as possible.

“We’ve been getting together to talk about how we can truly represent ourselves to the student body so that their voices are heard through us.”

However, Frensley said she hopes to discuss more than her own campaign’s goals.

“We really want to make sure while we’re in the debate we can hear what all the cam-

paigns are about (and) what they’re trying to do on this campus,” Frensley said. “We chose the name We Are UT because we want to represent the students and not highlight ourselves as anything because our whole goal is to be a voice for the student body.”

For Annie Carr, treasurer of TVC and event organizer, the debate plays a unique role in educating students during the election process.

“The debate is an awesome way for students who don’t

know a lot – or even anything – about SGA to come out and learn about the candidates,” Carr said. “I think – and I hope – that getting the opportunity to hear from all the candidates in one place helps students get an idea of how they will lead the student body next year.

“I hope that the debate encourages some folks to come out who don’t know anything about SGA, because, at the end of the day, those are the people we want to encourage to vote.”

Claire Dodson • The Daily Beacon

SGA live debate aims to inform campus on campaigns

Disability Advocates welcomes 2nd annual conference

SEE INSIDE

Samantha Smoak Online Editor

Election week: where can you get free stuff? We’ve got the breakdown

Jonny Greenwood performs “Electric Counterpoint,” a minimalist composition written by composer Steve Reich, at the Tennessee Theatre on Sunday.

Big Ears broadens Knoxville’s musical horizons Claire Dodson Arts & Culture Editor

Nuking Nukes: ambassador speaks on future of nuclear weapons NEWS >>pg.3

OPINION: Big Ears music festival calls for open mind... and ears ARTS & CULTURE >>pg.6

Knoxville became a hotbed of musical invention, restored classical melodies and renowned musicians last weekend at AC Entertainment’s third edition of Big Ears.

The festival, which included headliners Steve Reich, Television, John Cale and Jonny Greenwood among others, brought more than 2,000 people to downtown’s many venues, including the Tennessee and Bijou Theatres, The Square Room, Scruffy City Hall and the Knoxville Museum of Art. The three-day ode to musical experimentation kicked off with a launch party at KMA featuring words from Reich, AC Entertainment

SPORTS >>pg. 8

“I feel very fortunate to have come across it,” Gariety said. “I love Jonny Greenwood’s soundtrack work, as well as John Cale.

The atmosphere has been so kicked back and comfortable, I’m honestly surprised there aren’t more people here.”

The attendees weren’t the only beneficiaries of the festival’s expansive vision. Rogero mentioned that part of the reason she like Big Ears was because of the “great sense of community it generates” among downtown dwellers and businesses.

The Square Room, housed behind Cafe 4 on Market Square, hosted a day of Big Ears shows and activities.

Megan Lange, who worked hospitality for the venue over the weekend, emphasized the consistently busy atmosphere the festival brought in – and

the way Big Ears brought a different set of talent than the usual Square Room fare.

“We cultivate a lot of local talent,” Lange, a senior in English, said. “Because we’re a listening room, it’s singersongwriter stuff, more acoustic. The stuff that AC brought in for Big Ears was much more experimental and out of the ordinary. It wasn’t your stereotypical Square Room.”

Part of this difference is one of audience. Lange said she was surprised at the age of attendees of the festival.

“I had expected a lot of younger attendees, but I feel like it was skewed toward 40s, 50s, even 60s audience,” Lange said. “I think that the price is a little prohibitive for college students.”

See BIG EARS on Page 6

See DISABILITY on Page 2

Report: Marquette interested in Martin Steven Cook Copy Editor

Slam Dunk: Former Vol finally gets his chance in the NBA

founder Ashley Capps and Mayor Madeline Rogero.

“The music you’ll hear during Big Ears is not necessarily music you associate with southern Appalachia,” Rogero said to the audience at KMA. “But in a lot of ways, this festival is a great fit for our city. Big Ears suggests open minds, a willingness to encounter and engage with new ideas and different perspectives.

“In our own way, that’s what you’ll find in Knoxville too.”

While some locals perused the festival’s diverse offerings, many of the attendees came from other parts of the U.S. Pat Gariety, an Ohio native living in Massachusetts, was in Knoxville to settle his mother’s estate when he “stumbled upon” Big Ears.

Gage Arnold • The Daily Beacon

NEWS >>pg. 2

Few places in the country are home to a forum specifically created to explore issues pertaining to disability – but UT is.

On Friday and Saturday, Campus Disability Advocates will host its second annual Disability Issues and Advocacy Conference in the Toyota Auditorium at the Howard H. Baker Center for Public Policy.

Originally founded in fall 2012 by Lindsay Lee, senior in math and Spanish and now a Rhodes Scholar, the conference is among few in the country that provide a forum for experts from various disability fields to convene and share ideas.

“We hope to continue to make the University of Tennessee one of the most important centers for discourse surrounding disability,” Lee said.

Kathleen Connelly, secretary for CDA, said the conference will not only address to issues affecting the disability community, but also the multitude of ways to address those issues.

“The aim is to not just rehash the same conversations and the same projects that are already happening, but to provide a jumping-off point for new ideas,” Connelly, a senior in philosophy, said.

“An academic conference focused on disability issues doesn’t seem like it would be radical or unusual,” she added, “but it really is.”

As a minority group, Lee said she believes people with disabilities face unique obstacles, making the conference an even greater necessity.

Tennessee men’s basketball head coach Cuonzo Martin has begun discussions with Marquette regarding its vacant coaching position, ESPN reported on Monday morning.

Citing anonymous sources close to the Marquette program, ESPN reported Martin met with Marquette officials Sunday and there is “significant interest” between both parties.

UT Athletic Director Dave Hart was expected to meet with Martin shortly after the

Vols’ NCAA tournament loss to Michigan Friday to discuss the season and his contract.

The athletic department told The Daily Beacon on Monday afternoon that as of now, there is no update on that meeting.

Tennessee’s Sweet 16 run ended Friday in a 73-71 defeat to the Wolverines. Hours after the Vols arrived back in Knoxville on Saturday, ESPN’s Jeff Goodman reported Martin as one of the frontrunners for the Marquette job.

Under his current contract, Martin would enter next season with two years left on a five-year deal paying a

base salary of $1.35 million.

That is believed to make him the 11th highest-paid coach in the SEC. His 32 conference wins since taking over in 2011-12 rank third-most among SEC coaches in that span.

The buyout in Martin’s contract dropped from $2.6 million to $1.3 million today.

Martin took over the basketball program in March 2011 after Bruce Pearl was fired amid an NCAA probe.

His first two teams faced early exits from the NIT before his Vols cracked the NCAA tournament field in 2013-14 and reached the Sweet 16 as a No. 11 seed.

UT head coach Cuonzo Martin watches a play unfold during Tennessee’s Sweet 16 game at Lucas Oil Stadium against Michigan on Friday. A report from ESPN surfaced Monday that stated Martin met with Marquette University officials in regards to its vacant men’s basketball coaching position.

INSIDE THE DAILY BEACON

The Tangerine takes over the Daily Beacon, and it. gets. weird. @DailyBeacon www.utdailybeacon.com

OPINIONS>>pg. 4

News Opinions Arts & Culture Sports

Page 2-3 Page 4 Page 5-6 Page 7-8

2 • THE DAILY BEACON

Tuesday, April 1, 2014 News Editor Hanna Lustig

CAMPUS NEWS

hlustig@utk.edu

Assistant News Editor Emilee Lamb

elamb1@utk.edu

Women set up a table of display for the celebration of the Iranian New Year in the University Center Ballroom on Friday.

Beacon Correction In the Monday, March 31, issue of The Daily Beacon, the article headlined, “Issues Committee hosts first openly

gay bishop,” reported that Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the Wider Anglican Church, “caused

a schism within the Catholic Church.” The schism was actually caused in the Episcopalian Church.

DISABILITY

in math and Spanish and now a Rhodes Scholar, the conference is among few in the country that provide a forum for experts from various disability fields to convene and share ideas.

“We hope to continue to make the University of Tennessee one of the most important centers for discourse surrounding disability,” Lee said.

Kathleen Connelly, secretary for CDA, said the conference will not only address to issues affecting the disability community, but also the multitude of ways to address those

issues.

“The aim is to not just re-hash the same conversations and the same projects that are already happening, but to provide a jumping-off point for new ideas,” Connelly, a senior in philosophy, said.

“An academic conference focused on disability issues doesn’t seem like it would be radical or unusual,” she added, “but it really is.”

As a minority group, Lee said she believes people with disabilities face unique obstacles, making the conference an even greater necessity.

continued from Page 1 Few places in the country are home to a forum specifically created to explore issues pertaining to disability – but UT is.

On Friday and Saturday, Campus Dis ability Advocates will host its second annual Disability Issues and Advocacy Conference in the Toyota Auditorium at the Howard H. Baker Center for Public Policy.

Originally founded in fall 2012 by Lindsay Lee, senior

SGA candidates commence campaigning with freebies Hayley Brundige • The Daily Beacon

Noreen Premji • The Daily Beacon

Around Rocky Top

Hayley Brundige Assistant Photo Editor So it begins.

Yesterday marked the first official day of SGA campaigning, with the We Are UT, Keny-Dugosh and [Insert] campaigns distributing freebies and tabling in various locations across campus.

“We understand that a lot of the voting population are first year students, so we want to make sure we reach out to them in a centralized location,” said Dante Arnwine, a junior in political science and senator in the We Are UT campaign.

We Are UT received monetary donations from its sponsor, Evolve, an off-campus housing development that will open in fall 2014.

In exchange for campaign funding, Evolve was granted advertising space on We Are UT posters and a table next to the campaign. We Are UT handed out candy and food from Texas Roadhouse.

Later in the week, they plan to distribute Chick-fil-A. With 43 senatorial candidates to back them up, We Are UT tabled in five locations Monday: Pedestrian Walkway, Presidential Court, Fiji Island, Sorority Village and on the Agricultural Campus.

Keny-Dugosh, by contrast, received no outside funding.

Instead, they offered homemade cookies, campaign buttons and cups to passers-by.

“We decided not to use any corporate sponsors,” said presidential candidate Kelsey Keny. “The stuff that we’re providing, we just used

Kelsey Keny, junior in journalism and electronic media and SGA presidential candidate running on the Keny-Dugosh ticket, talks to students on Pedestrian Walkway on Monday. our own money to get.”

[Insert] candidates were also present, distributing push cards listing their main policy points, including the “implementation of a UT moon base” and “no more rain on campus.”

“We have the ability to thrust ourselves into wherever we see fit,” said Kyle “Iceblood” White, [Insert]’s Student Services candidate.

“We’re great idea men. I mean seriously though, we have released 10 times as many policies as the other campaigns combined.”

[Insert] has no plans for hand-outs. But Judd Cowan, a senior in mechanical engineering and the campaign manager for [Insert], said the campaign may have a surprise for students on Wednesday.

“It’ll be something that has never been done before in the history of SGA,” Cowan said. “Tell people to watch the skies.”

Grant Davis, running independently as a trustee candidate, opted to delay campaigning on Pedestrian Walkway until Tuesday, focusing instead on visits to organizations on campus.

“People know me from my record in SGA this year,” Davis said, “so I don’t feel the need to spend a couple grand on campaigning.”

All campaigns were required to submit the first of three Campaign Value Reports on Monday at noon, detailing their current donations and spending.

SGA hopefuls will continue to campaign throughout the week until elections begin on Wednesday and continue through Thursday.

Election results will be announced Thursday night at 6:30 p.m. in the UC Shiloh Room. The Volunteer Channel will be hosting a live debate Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. in the Howard Baker Center’s Toyota Auditorium.

While you’re home for the summer, fast track your education. UTC summer school can help you achieve your goal.

Classes begin May 14 and June 25 Learn more at UTC.edu/Summer

Undergraduate, master’s and doctoral degrees available.

Undergraduate Admissions Graduate School

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At UTC, our students achieve, and so will you.

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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

THE DAILY BEACON • 3 News Editor Hanna Lustig

CAMPUS NEWS

hlustig@utk.edu

Assistant News Editor Emilee Lamb

elamb1@utk.edu

Associated Press WASHINGTON (AP) — Is it too easy for high-tech companies to patent inventions that are not really new, but simply take an old idea and blend it with computer wizardry?

The Supreme Court wrestled with that question Monday as justices considered making it tougher for the government to issue patents for computer software.

The outcome could send tremors through an industry that touches virtually every sector of the economy, from gadgets on smart phones to advances in anti-lock brakes.

The issue has divided the nation’s technology giants, with companies like Microsoft Corp. and IBM warning that new restrictions could nullify thousands of existing patents that are the product of billions in research and development. On the other side, firms including Google, Facebook and Netflix say the free flow of software patents has become a “plague” on the industry, blocking companies from promoting innovation.

The justices weighed arguments in a case involving Alice Corp., an Australian financial company that in the 1990s patented a computer program to reduce the risk in financial transactions. The software allows a neutral third party to make sure all parties to a trade have lived up to their obligations.

New York-based CLS Bank International challenged the patent as invalid, arguing Alice merely took a concept that has been around since ancient human history and programmed it to run through a computer.

Justice Anthony Kennedy suggested a bunch of second year college engineering students could come up with the

same software over a weekend.

“My guess is that would be fairly easy to program,” Kennedy told Carter Phillips, the attorney representing Alice.

Justice Stephen Breyer suggested the idea was no different than when King Tut of ancient Egypt used an abacus to keep track of how much gold to give away. If businesses can simply take an abstract idea and patent it because it runs on a computer, instead of true competition, “you will have competition on who has the best patent lawyer,” Breyer said.

Phillips responded that Alice’s system was much more complicated, allowing multiple parties around the world to settle transactions in real time.

He said the position CLS was taking meant that essentially no computer software would be eligible for patent protection. That would undercut hundreds of patents, including those that have been issued for word processing or browsing the Internet, he said.

Patents give inventors legal protection to prevent others from making, using or selling a novel device, process or application. The Supreme Court has previously ruled that abstract ideas, natural phenomena and laws of nature cannot be patented. But the court has not laid out detailed criteria for determining when computer software patents are valid.

Last year, the court ruled that human genes could not be patented, ending three decades of patent awards by government officials. In 2012, the court threw out patents that protected medical diagnostic tests.

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit ruled that Alice Corp.’s patents couldn’t be granted, but its decision was fractured, with no majority opinion. Only five of the 10-member panel of judges agreed that Alice merely took a

well-settled economic concept and put it into a computer program.

One dissenting judge warned that the appeals court decision would “decimate the electronics and software industries.”

Another dissenter said it would cause “the death of hundreds of thousands of patents.” Since the Federal Circuit’s ruling was so divided, technology companies are hoping the Supreme Court offers more clarity.

Mark Perry, arguing for CLS Bank, said the computer must be essential to the operation of the program and not just an advance in technology. He said encryption technology that allows financial information to move securely over the Internet is an example of an invention worthy of a patent.

“This is not the death of software patents,” Perry said.

Noting that dozens of friend of the court briefs were submitted by major software companies — mostly siding with CLS — Perry said: “The software industry is all before this court saying ‘This is fine with us.’ “ Solicitor General Donald Verrilli, arguing on behalf of the Obama administration, said the court could simply rely on recent precedents to find the Alice program didn’t deserve a patent. But he urged the court to issue more clarity to help lower courts decide what is and isn’t valid.

Verrilli said several factors should be considered, including whether the software improves how the computer functions or uses a computer to improve how another technological process works.

But Chief Justice John Roberts said he was “doubtful that that’s going to bring about greater clarity and certainty.”

A decision is expected by June.

The case is Alice Corp., v. CLS Bank International, 13-298.

Speaker addresses nuclear, chemical, biological weapons in lecture at UC Maggie Loveday • The Daily Beacon

Supreme Court could limit software patents

Kevin Ridder Copy Editor “We are working toward a world without nuclear weapons,” said Thomas Countryman, the assistant secretary of the Bureau of International Security and Nonproliferation (ISN), in his public lecture Monday morning at the University Center.

After beginning his work with the state department in 1982, Countryman, a career member of the Senior Foreign Service, rank of Minister-Counselor, has been assistant secretary for the ISN Bureau since September 2011.

The ISN Bureau leads the U.S. effort to prevent the spread of nuclear, chemical and biological weapons, their related materials and their delivery systems.

In his lecture, Countryman addressed the state of nuclear weapons and technology in today’s world and outlined the ISN Bureau’s plans to stop the spread of nuclear weapons. Though the total elimination of nuclear weapons would be ideal, Countryman admitted the feat will not be easy.

“Can I just quote Obama? This may not happen during my lifetime,” Countryman said. “But it is a goal toward which we’re working, and I think that’s a realistic assessment. There’s no shortcut to the elimination of nuclear weapons. However, thanks to the treaty on the non-proliferation of nuclear weapons signed in 1968, we’ve reduced the U.S. and the Russian holdings by 80

Ambassador Thomas Countryman delivers a lecture entitled “U.S. Policy on Global Security and Nonproliferation” in the University Center Auditorium on Monday. percent over the past 40 years.”

Countryman also mentioned the situation in Ukraine, asking the world to maintain perspective.

“On the biggest issues in this category of nonproliferation and disarmament, we’re determined not to let the Ukraine issue affect our cooperation,” Countryman said. “So on implementation of strategic WMD reductions, on 5+1 negotiations with Iran about its nuclear problem, on removal of chemical weapons from Syria, we’re continuing to work with the Russians, we hope that they continue to see that those security challenges are bigger than this particular dispute.”

Beyond the realm of nuclear weapons and WMD’s, Countryman and the ISN Bureau hope to create an international nuclear energy policy.

“Our goal is a rational, nuclear energy policy, one that incorporates crucially

the issues of nonproliferation, nuclear security and nuclear safety as well; the role of nuclear energy globally,” Countryman said. “We have intense cooperation programs with a number of countries around the world. And in particular, a lot of that cooperation on a technical level is actually carried out by the UT Institute for Nuclear Security,

by Oak Ridge National Labs, by other partners among the Department of Energy National Labs and Universities in the U.S.” In his closing statement, Countryman expressed the ISN Bureau’s central policies.

“We are not building new nuclear weapons,” Countryman said. “But, in very short description, what we are doing is stockpiling liability; maintaining assurance that those nuclear weapons that we still hold are safe and reliable.”

4 • THE DAILY BEACON

Tuesday, April 1, 2014 Editor-in-Chief R.J. Vogt

OPINIONS

rvogt@utk.edu

Contact us letters@utk.edu

Kit Fisto: The Galaxy’s Greatest Jedi

Happy April Fool‛s Day, kids!

Barnaby Jones Not a real person Over the past 30 years of development, director George Lucas has created a universe for his “Star Wars” franchise that is longer than human history.

Throughout the 36,000 years of the “Star Wars” canon there have been thousands of heroes and villains rise and fall and millions of young residents of the galaxy that have discovered their midi-chlorian levels allow them to use the Force.

While the mainstream celebrated the inclusion of Anakin Skywalker and a youthful Obi-Wan Kenobi in Lucas’ prequels, it was Lucas’ greatest character of the entire franchise, the Nautolan Jedi Master Kit Fisto, that made his first appearance in “Attack of the Clones.” Fisto’s star-studded list of Padawans, devilish good looks and phenomenal service record sets him apart from all of his peers.

Kit Fisto was born on the mostly-aquatic planet of Glee Anselm in the Mid Rim region of the galaxy. At a young age, Fisto left the planet for Coruscant where he trained under Master Yoda. Bant Eerin, a Mon Calamari Padawan, was Fisto’s first apprentice. It should be noted that Eerin survived all combat up until Order 66.

Let’s just go ahead and begin analyzing how dope this is.

This dude Kit Fisto, being only a Jedi Knight himself, had the ability to raise this child to be a lethal killing machine who goes on to outlive Qui-Gon “I will find you and I will kill you … Oh no, there’s a pack of wolves coming to kill me” Jinn. Fisto decided that raising one Mon Calamari child to efficiently kill everything in its path was not enough, so he picked up another one.

Next up was Nahdar Vebb. It is important to note here that Vebb probably would have surpassed the other Padawan if the Jedi Counsel had decided against sending the poor kid to do battle with a four-armed ex-warlord, which quickly killed the poor fish-child. Fortunately, Fisto does not succumb to petty emotional woes. The Jedi Master quickly fought off the same cyborg lesser Jedi Masters could not handle and then poured one out for his dead Padawan.

Fisto was arguably the best looking Jedi in the order as well. Some scholars point to the fact that Fisto was green and amphibious and had a cluster of tentacles pouring out of his skull and no eyebrows as grounds to say he looked bizarre.

Unfortunately these plebeians forgot to take into consideration the fact that Fisto had a steamy forbidden relationship with fellow Twi’lek Jedi Master Aayla Secura, also known as the scantily clad blue chick from the prequels. The argument also ignores the scene in “Attack of the Clones” where Fisto beheads a droid, saving the mentally incapable Jar Jar Binks – thanks for that addition to the universe, George –and smiled with a mouth full of absolutely perfect pearly whites.

Fisto’s steamy relationship with Aayla Secura also shows that Fisto played by his own rules. The Jedi Master spent a couple of weeks incognito as a dark Jedi named Nemonus, but leaving the dark side was “no big thang” for Fisto. He was also a master of Shii-Cho which meant he could fight with two lightsabers if that was tickling his fancy that day, but if it wasn’t, whatever.

It also meant he was constantly flirting with the Dark Side of the Force, but unfortunately for the Dark Side, Kit Fisto was a heartbreaker. And as for the aforementioned perfect smile, it was said that Fisto constantly smiled, even when slaughtering hundreds of enemies in combat. It has even been proven that every failure Fisto endured was actually not his fault. Even Fisto’s death wasn’t his fault.

The lean, green killing machine would have easily outlived Order 66 if Agen Kolar, Saesee Tin and Samuel L. Jackson had put up a better fight against the most powerful Sith lord to ever exist.

Alas, the three losers previously mentioned failed, and thus ends the epic story of the world’s greatest Jedi.

Go back and watch “Attack of the Clones” and email me if you still don’t believe me and/or you’re interested in engaging in fisticuffs.

Barnaby Jones is, by most accounts, a fictional alias.

Historians of campus lore believe this column was actually written by none other than Jarnell Stokes, though no one could confirm the rumor.

Columns of The Daily Beacon are reflections of the individual columnist, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or its editorial staff.

On a supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again A Clockwork Tangerine by

Snake Plitzkin Editor’s Note: Snake Plitzkin is the Editor-in-Chief of the Tangerine, the sad, oft-maligned little brother of The Daily Beacon. Beacon Chief R.J. “Running Jaguar” Vogt let him and his little band of elves write today’s opinion page in honor of the first day of April, one that has traditionally been considered the flagship holiday of tangerines.

The content of this page may not be suitable for children, freshmen or those with phobias regarding Lord of the Rings.

So this spring break was possibly the craziest week of my life.

Initially, I was unsure about how this break was going to go: I am a senior and was forced to go on a vacation with my parents, my two little brothers and my little sister. On top of this, my dad has a ridiculous fear of the Transportation Security Administration.

A few years ago, my father was detained for an hour by the TSA in a glass box in the

Editor-in-Chief: R.J. Vogt Managing Editor: Melodi Erdogan Chief Copy Editor: Gage Arnold News Editor: Hanna Lustig Asst. News Editor: Emilee Lamb Sports Editor: Troy Provost-Heron Asst. Sports Editor: Dargan Southard Arts & Culture Editor: Claire Dodson Asst. Arts & Culture Editor: Cortney Roark Online Editor: Samantha Smoak

named the growth-stunter.

Minutes later, five midgets dressed as a pack of feisty goblins from Lord of the Rings burst into the cabin and began attacking the gender-bent Gimli. I looked on in utter shock and terror until the gender-bent Gimli forced me into a gray bathrobe with a funny hood and commanded me to do my best Gandalf impression (because I was the tallest one there).

After several hours of this, I was left confused, tired and covered in blood, sweat, tears and bits of Nerf foam as I tried to wipe my memory of all the regrettable decisions I had made that night. The Gimli impersonator towered over me as I lay in the fetal position in the floor of her room. “S-so do I owe you m-mo-money now or something?”

I stammered, visibly frightened by the miniature She-Hulk that stood before me. “I’m gonna need about tree fiddy,” she replied.

That’s when I realized she was actually an eight-story tall crustacean from the Proterozoic Era! I quickly bolted out of the room and took the first emergency life boat I could, leaving the cruise ship behind.

That darned Loch Ness monster almost got me again!

Snake cannot be reached, but he can be held for awkward lengths of time.

White to the Third Power: Arithmetic’s Supremacist Agenda Subjectifying Subjects by

Buff McLargehuge The other day in philosophy class, my professor and I got into a heated discussion about America’s so-called “war on drugs.”

During a recent lecture, my professor – a cold, heartless communist sympathizer who hates traditional American values and believes in heavy government regulation and the redistribution of wealth – laid out the groundwork for the war on drugs, which essentially encompasses every possession arrest, DEA operation and police shootout with some homeless man all teetered up on bath salts and spray paint that has occurred in the last few decades. Some have even gone so far as to call it a “new-age Prohibition.”

My personal belief is that this war on drugs is clearly discriminant against minorities – a belief, might I add, that is proven by history; over the last several decades, a large majority of drug arrests made have seen African-Americans behind bars, even though Caucasian drug usage and African-American drug usage is virtually the same. Where is the justice in that?

“What a stupid, foolish point, you stupid, foolish red-blooded American. That doesn’t make the war on drugs racist,” my professor responded when I brought my point up in class. “A vast majority of drug arrests are made in low-income neighborhoods, which just so happen to consist primarily of African-American families. Check your statistics before you bring your sinister civil rights agenda into my classroom, you moron. Everyone gets an F for the semester!”

As an aside, the entire class jeered loudly at the evil display of academic totalitarianism our professor showed that day. Clearly, it violated their rights as young, independent American citizens. Somewhere that day, a majestic bald eagle named “Small Government” shed a tear to compensate for the oppression we underwent.

However, my professor’s malicious words got me thinking. The way he told me to “check my statistics” really stuck with me. I had many a sleepless night trying to process what that statement meant to me, and I’ve finally reached a groundbreaking catharsis.

The war on drugs isn’t racist; statistics are racist.

Think about it: when you look at the statistics, as my professor so politely told me to do, you see that he’s correct. Low income neighborhoods are a hotbed for police activity, and there just so happen to be a large

amount of black residents there too. It’s statistically proven, which is very suspicious.

It’s almost like these statistics are designed to protect a certain majority…

Let’s look back at the founding of mathematics. Gottfried Leibniz and Isaac Newton invented calculus and they were white.

Ronald Fisher, the “father of statistics” was white. William Gosset? White. Archimedes?

White. Descartes? Super white. Heck, even my Math 113 professor from last semester was white.

My point is that math has been a white man’s game for centuries. While there wasn’t likely a thinly-veiled, maliciously racist subtext behind math in the beginning, there is now after years of research, development and evolution. Arithmetic has a white agenda, and there’s virtually nothing we can do about it.

It perfectly explains why so many supposed “tried-and-true” statistics are quick to put minorities in the spotlight when it comes to the drug war raging on in America.

We used to be known as “a cultural melting pot.” Now it hardly passes as that gross, cold macaroni salad that gets left over after every picnic because someone was stupid enough to bring it even though no one wants to eat it.

Buff McLargehuge is a senior in the gym.

He can be reached at the gym.

Get Fuzzy • Darby Conley

Non Sequitur • Wiley

EDITORIAL

middle of the airport because he refused to take off his watch when he went through security. As a result, we never fly anywhere … and he says it’s because he doesn’t want to be subjected to a groping.

Anyway, we had decided to go on a cruise with Royal Caribbean, which I guess is sort of exciting. I figured I could just slip away and go to the ship’s casino.

After the 10-hour road trip to Orlando – where the boat was docked – and after we managed to get on the ship, I left my family behind to go down and grab a drink.

When I went down to the bar, I was surprised to find out that not only was the bar Egyptian-themed, but there was a midget convention on the cruise ship and they all were enjoying tequila.

I don’t know if you all have ever seen a crowd of midgets dressed in all sorts of weird costumes drowning in tequila, but it is a spectacle of madness and sin that would make Beelzebub blush.

After wading through the crowd of screaming, drunk midgets for about 17 (or so) minutes, I finally managed to make it to the counter. Eight shots of tequila later, a female midget in a gender bent Gimli costume coaxed me back to her cabin and forced me to groom her majestic beard as she flogged me repeatedly with a two-handed Nerf claymore – which she affectionately

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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

THE DAILY BEACON • 5 Arts & Culture Editor Claire Dodson

ARTS & CULTURE

pdodson@utk.edu

Assistant Arts & Culture Editor Cortney Roark

croark4@utk.edu

When attending a festival where you do not recognize the names in the lineup, keeping an open mind can be difficult.

Artists like Norwegian Susanna and the Magical Orchestra, with her slow soft pop melodies and interesting instrumentation make it easy, not to mention her elegant cover of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.�

The Daily Beacon’s Arts & Culture Editor Claire Dodson sat down with Susanna Wallumrød to discuss her country music influences, the differences in Norway’s music business, and the experimentation and boundary-pushing work that made her a perfect fit for Big Ears.

So how would you describe the sound you try to go for?

SW:

Well, it’s very much based around my voice and my style of singing, my melodies and phrasing and sort of the texture in what I’m doing. I like very much to play in these smaller constellations, like in duos or trios. I like to use these other instruments as building stones, but it’s quite sparse. I like to try to get out the core of the music that the songs try to tell.

CD:

Do you have musicians you look up to or or model yourself

after?

I’ve been listening to a lot of different types of music. A lot o f singers, of course. I have enjoyed Nina Simone. Her soul music and also her solo things where she just has piano and vocals. I’ve been listening to a lot of jazz singers but also singer-songwriters like Nick Drake, Leonard Cohen‌

SW:

Claire Dodson Arts & Culture Editor

CD:

Claire Dodson • The Daily Beacon

Norwegian singer-songwriter brings slice of Dolly Parton to Big Ears

CD: SW:

Dolly Parton?

Dolly Parton for sure. That’s actually one of the first songs I remember from childhood, “Jolene.�

CD:

Does that seem significant coming here and performing that song?

SW: CD:

Susanna Wallumrød, singer in the Norwegian band Susanna and the Magical Orchestra, performs on Friday at the Tennessee Theatre during the Big Ears Festival.

CD:

Yes, it’s quite special.

When did you first know you wanted to make music and make it a career?

I’ve been singing all my life basically, so I’ve always been doing music in different forms. I started my first band when I was 15 and went to music school and music university, studied music. I always wanted to do it, but you never know how things go. I’m glad I still get to do this 10 years after my first album, because it goes up and down and income goes up and down. It’s a very unstable way of living, but I enjoy it very much.

SW:

Well it’s always different to play a big room and a small room, but it also depends on the length of the show. It affects how you put together your set. For a one-hour concert, you’re able to dig in more to the long stretches of not moving so quickly from song to song, to be able to stay within a mood or a feeling.

Big Ears?

Do you think it’s harder in Norway than it would be in

the U.S.?

No, I think it’s way harder here in the U.S., because we have very good governmental funding for culture and the arts.

Actually, compared to that we’re not that many people in Norway, there’s a lot of music going on. And all that music is really good. It’s a high standard of quality. But I guess it couldn’t have happened in that scale if it hadn’t been for the funding.

SW:

SW:

I find myself very much at home with the other lineup at the festival. It all kind of makes sense to me, so I’m very glad that Big Ears sees it that way too, because to me it means that they have been listening closely to the things that I do.

I totally understand the beauty side of what I do. But I try to create some resistance in my music, so it’s not exactly mainstream. I am with my slow, sparse way of doing my music; I am pushing the boundaries.

SW:

CD: val?

I already feel that it’s such a great experience just to be here, to meet the people in this town, to meet music lovers and musicians and see other concerts. It’s already worth a lot to

SW:

How do you adjust your show from a Tennessee TheatreHow do you see sized venue to a yourself fitting into the kind of boundary- Square Room-sized venue? pushing, experimental vibe of

CD:

CD:

What are you most hoping to walk away with from this festi-

me, and of course I really hope to meet an audience who enjoys my music and who maybe would like to follow me a bit, want to come listen again and want to check out the things that I do.

CD:

Is there anything else you want to add about your music or who you are?

SW:

Maybe that I have been doing a lot of different constellations.

Last year I worked with an ensemble, but I’ve also done a more electronic setup with synthesizers and effects on my voice. I do different types of things; it’s not like it’s a very constant thing. And I like it that way, I like the flexibility of following my musical needs.

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6 • THE DAILY BEACON

Tuesday, April 1, 2014 Arts & Culture Editor Claire Dodson

ARTS & CULTURE

pdodson@utk.edu

Assistant Arts & Culture Editor Cortney Roark

Big Ears with open ears 1

Claire Dodson Arts & Culture Editor It’s difficult to disagree with Big Ears. It backs you into the proverbial corner – you either like the music or are labeled musically ignorant, too closeminded to enjoy the much overused word “experimentation.”

This is not to say I did not enjoy Big Ears, nor that I didn’t learn from it. I entered the weekend holding my ears as wide as they could go, ready to “inhabit” the music, as AC Entertainment founder Ashley Capps instructed attendees to do at Friday’s launch party. I stuffed myself with shows – Dean Wareham, Susanna, Jenny Hval, John Cale, Television – determined to like everything I heard in order to prove myself intellectually musical enough to attend a festival that largely depends on high musical IQ. However, my open mind turned self-deprecating during less enjoyable performances. “Is this bad music?” I questioned

BIG EARS continued from Page 1 Despite the audience demographic, Lange sees Big Ears as a means of pushing Knoxville further towards being a city of musical breakthrough.

“We have so much potential and so much desire for good music that we just have to push the right combination of buttons to get it,” she said. “Big Ears brings in stuff that we would not

myself. “Or are my listening ears defective?” The musicians at Big Ears were put under the aformentioned moniker for a reason – they did crazy things vocally and instrumentally in the name of expanding their art, things that didn’t always sound perfect.

By Sunday, I had covered my ears a little bit, my brain itching for a mainstream I had not known I wanted, a mainstream I had condescended to pre-festival.

Then, I heard Steve Reich and Brad Lubman perform “Clapping Music.”

Their hands were the instrument, creating rhythmic patterns out of touch, bringing together chaos and order and building into a highly-impressive cadence that had my heart beating faster.

Then, I heard Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood perform Steve Reich’s “Electric Counterpoint.”

He took the stage, dark hair flapping around, shredding the guitar in his hands and holding it like a child.

Their music was alive, moving here, surely, in this most beautiful of venues – the Tennessee Theatre. I could feel it within me the same way I felt at other concerts I had attended with bands I loved, bands like Switchfoot, St. Paul and

the Broken Bones and Regina Spektor.

And then the title clicked.

Big Ears is not about loving all the music you hear – it’s about wanting to hear music that isn’t on your Spotify playlist, music that challenges you a little. It may challenge you to form an opinion that can be negative, but it may challenge you to listen a little closer to artists you have written off.

Music is a funny thing – controversial and peacemaking, soothing and upsetting, divisive and universal. Most everyone has an opinion, whether that’s a hatred for top 40 or a love for minimalist neo-classical.

It can build festivals that are engaging and atmospheric, yet loaded with popular favorites, like Bonnaroo, or festivals that at first seem a little unapproachable, but offer a rich experience of musical culture, like Big Ears.

I may never be able to discuss with any intelligence the tonal qualities of a minimalist piece from Steve Reich, but Big Ears has showed me that’s OK. There’s no harm in listening – in fact, there’s a lot to be gained.

Plus, I can always go back to my Beyonce afterward.

have access to otherwise.

“That’s a great way to stretch us as listeners, to stretch the city.”

Capps, who formed Big Ears for this very reason, seems to hope the same for Knoxville, the city that he has been actively involved in since he owned a nightclub in the late 80s called Ella Guru’s. His vision for this year’s festival centered around what he calls the “fertile, renaissance time” of music in the 60s and 70s – and connecting it with

present-day musicians.

“So much of the music that was created and the ideas that emerged during that period continue to inform and inspire artists and musicians today,” Capps said at the launch party.

“I would go a little further. ... I think we’re in that period right now.

“This is one of the most exciting and fertile creative periods as well. There’s so much amazing work being created out there.”

2

Claire Dodson is a junior in English. She can be reached at pdodson@utk.edu.

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Bill Orcutt, former guitarist and founder of the duo, later a trio, Harry Pussy, performs at Scruffy City Hall as part of the Big Ears Festival on Sunday.

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Laraaji performs at the Bijou Theatre on Saturday as part of the Big Ears Festival.

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Jenny Hval performs at Scruffy City Hall as part of the Big Ears Festival on Saturday.

All photos by Janie Prathammavong • The Daily Beacon

croark4@utk.edu

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

THE DAILY BEACON • 7 Sports Editor Troy Provost-Heron

SPORTS

tprovost@utk.edu

Assistant Sports Editor Dargan Southard

msoutha1@utk.edu

BASEBALL Matthew DeMaria • The Daily Beacon

SOFTBALL

Senior shortstop Madison Shipman turns a double play in the Lady Vols' 7-6 win over the Florida Gators inside Sheri Lee Parker Stadium in the first game of a doubleheader on Sunday.

Steady Shipman a role model for Lady Vols Taylor White Staff Writer Before her senior season, Madison Shipman was named to both the pre-season AllSEC and All-American teams, and two months into the season she has left no doubt that is exactly where she belongs.

The shortstop from Valencia, Calif., has been one of the hottest hitters in the country so far this year. She leads the team in batting average, hitting .413, along with 8 home runs and 26 RBI on the season.

“Madison is playing the best softball she’s played since she’s been at Tennessee,” cohead coach Karen Weekly said. “I think that’s a real credit to her as a senior.

“Every once in a while you will see seniors slump a little bit, maybe put a little too much pressure on themselves.”

Shipman has been a regular

in the Lady Vols lineup since her freshman season and has continued to improve each year.

But what sets Shipman apart from the other elite players in the nation, Weekly says, is her dedication to defense.

Earlier this season against South Carolina, she set a Tennessee record with nine defensive assists in a game.

“What really stands out to me is the pride that Maddie takes in her defensive play,” Weekly said. “Sometimes those awards are based solely on offensive performance; their defense goes unnoticed.

Maddie just takes great pride in her defense.”

On a team with only three seniors, one of Shipman’s most important roles doesn’t show up in the stat book.

Being a leader on such a young team, Weekly says, is crucial during the grueling SEC schedule.

Always keeping a calm

demeanor is one of the most important things Shipman does for this team, as she knows the younger players will look to her during critical parts of the game.

“I just try to be somebody that’s consistent, that they can look to,” Shipman said.

“Not too high and not too low in any game situation. Just somebody they can look to and say, ‘Maddie is doing OK, we’re still fine.’”

The Lady Vols’ coaching staff uses Shipman as an example on how they want their younger players to behave and react throughout the year – a player who keeps her emotions in check throughout the test of a long season.

“I think our team, especially our young players can learn a lot from her,” Weekly said. “(They can) learn how to manage the emotions of the game and the ups and downs of a season and a career.”

After playing nearly full four years of softball at Tennessee, Shipman has become a fan favorite, drawing a loud reaction from the crowd every time she steps to the plate or makes a play in the field.

People in the crowd can be seen holding up her picture, and there are countless children – and some adults – trying to get an autograph after every game.

“She is very popular with the fans,” Weekly said. “Part of that comes from being on the field pretty much every game since her freshman year and doing great things in a Lady Vols uniform.”

Shipman says she couldn’t have wished for a better start to her senior season, but with still half the season left, she is not planning on slowing down anytime soon.

“Yes (I’m thrilled),” Shipman said. “Now I’m just going to try to keep this going, that’s for sure.”

Vols swept by Gamecocks in heartbreaking fashion Staff Report The No. 21 Tennessee Volunteers (19-7, 3-6 SEC) dropped a three-game series to the No. 2 South Carolina Gamecocks (24-3, 6-3) over the weekend in Columbia, S.C., marking the first time this year that the Vols have been swept.

On Sunday, Tennessee sophomore righty Andrew Lee (3-1) suffered his first defeat of the season as UT fell 8-0. Lee gave up season-highs in hits (10), runs (seven) and walks (four) over four innings pitched.

Offensively, junior catcher Tyler Schultz was the only Vol with a multi-hit performance, as he went 2-for-3 at the plate.

Senior third baseman Taylor Smart finished the series with a 1-for-4 game, bringing his hit total to a team-high five for the series.

On Saturday, the Gamecocks scored six runs with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning to complete a six-run comeback and win 9-6, in game two of the series at Carolina Stadium.

South Carolina got the big hit from junior catcher Grayson Greiner, who blasted a walk-off grand slam over the left field wall with two outs.

The Vols were led by the bottom of the order in game two as Johnny Youngblood led the way with his first career three-hit game. Youngblood laid down three bunt singles, beating out the throw to first each time. Taylor Smart was 2-for-3 with a RBI double.

Scott Price was 1-for-4 with two RBI, and Columbia, S.C.,

native David Houser was 1-for-4.

Freshman right-hander Hunter Martin (2-1) had a solid outing for the Vols, giving up just one earned run and three total runs over 5 1/3 innings.

Tennessee, one of the nation’s top fielding teams this season, made three costly errors in the game, including one in the ninth inning.

A leadoff walk to Nick Senzel got the Vols going in the second inning of game two. Will Maddox then laid down a sacrifice bunt to move the freshman into scoring position. The Vols then ripped four hits in a row – a RBI double from Smart, a RBI single from Nathaniel Maggio, a double from Houser and a perfectly-placed suicide squeeze bunt by Youngblood – to take a 3-0 lead on the Gamecocks.

South Carolina cut the Vols’ lead in half in the fourth and fifth innings. The Gamecocks had three singles in the fourth and two in the fifth to plate three runs and cut UT’s lead to 6-3. South Carolina scored one in the fourth and two in the fifth. The Vols helped the Gamecocks’ cause in the fifth, as Price dropped a fly ball on the right in right field.

In the opener, the Gamecocks also won game one of the series on a walkoff home run as Jordan Gore sent a solo shot over the right-field fence in the bottom of the 14th to open the action on Saturday. The series opener was suspended in a 2-2 tie after 11 innings due to rain on Friday night and concluded prior to game two on Saturday.

8 • THE DAILY BEACON

Tuesday, April 1, 2014 Sports Editor Troy Provost-Heron

SPORTS

tprovost@utk.edu

Assistant Sports Editor Dargan Southard

Hayley Pennesi • The Daily Beacon

msoutha1@utk.edu

Cavaliers sign former UT guard Hopson Staff Report

career, Hopson – who helped lead the Vols to the NCAA Elite Eight in 2010 – appeared in 103 games, making 98 starts and averaging 12.7 points and 3.1 rebounds per game. He also shot .354 from 3-point range (151-of-426) and totaled 1,305 points, which currently ranks 24th in school history.

Hopson becomes the third active Tennessee alumnus to suit up in the NBA, joining Indiana Pacers guard C.J. Watson (2003-06) and Orlando Magic forward Tobias Harris (2011).

• Photo courtesy of Tennessee Athletics

The NBA’s Cleveland Cavaliers signed former Tennessee Volunteer guard Scotty Hopson (2009-11) to a $2.8 million, two-year contract on Monday.

Hopson appeared in 12 league games this year for Anadolu Efes in the Turkish Basketball league, where he averaged 7.2 points and 2.6 rebounds in 21.6 minutes per game. He also played in 11 Euroleague games for Anadolu Efes, averaging 15.5 points on

.625 shooting and 4.2 rebounds in 28.2 minutes per game.

The 6-foot-7, 204-pound guard played in three 2013 NBA Summer League contests for the Miami Heat and averaged 11.3 points, 2.7 rebounds and 2.0 assists in 22.0 minutes per game.

A native of Hopkinsville, Ky., Hopson went undrafted in 2011 and spent the 2011-12 season with Kolossos Rodou of the Greek League. He played for Hapoel Eilat of the Israeli League in 2012-13.

During his three-year UT

Former Tennessee guard Scott Hopson, who played at UT from 2008-2010, was signed to a two-year, $2.8 million contract with the NBA’s Cleveland Cavileers on Monday. Hopson had previously played overseas for the past three years since going undrafted in the 2011 NBA Draft.

Freshman Victoria Olivarez awaits a serve in the Lady Vols’ 4-0 loss against the No. 7 Texas A&M Aggies inside Barksdale Stadium on Sunday.

Lady Vols trade wins with SEC foes Jessica Koralewski Contributor The Lady Vols saw a fair share of success and defeat this week with a 4-1 victory against Missouri and a 4-0 loss to No. 7 Texas A&M at home this past weekend.

Tennessee took on Missouri on Friday night and saw wins in both doubles and singles play.

In doubles, UT’s Joanna Henderson and Caitlyn Williams defeated Cierra Gayton-Leach and Rachel Stuhlmann, 8-4, and Eve Repic and Laurence Guevremont beat Madison Rhyner and Cassidy Spearman, 8-4.

In singles, Brittany Lindl defeated Cassidy Spearman, 6-1, 6-4, Victoria Olivarez beat Tracy Dong, 6-0, 6-1, and Laurence Guevremont saw more success, beating Madison Rhyner, 6-2, 6-1.

“All the kids stayed focused and they played hard,” said cohead coach Mike Patrick on Friday following the Lady Vols’ win. “They’ve been a strength

for us the past couple of weeks.

They did a great job against Kentucky and now here, so they’re learning. Our freshmen are growing up, still have a lot of growing up to do, a lot of learning to do, but we’re really proud of their effort.”

Sunday’s match against Texas A&M was the Lady Vols’ first outdoor match at home this season and was a bit of a disappointment, producing results that were less than equivalent to the standard that the team envisions for itself, Patrick said.

Tennessee saw two losses in doubles play with Ambika Pande and Laurence Guevremont falling 8-2 to A&M’s Ines Deheza and Saska Gavrilovska, and Brittany Lindl and Victoria Olivarez losing 8-3 to Anna Mamalat and Rutuja Bhosale.

“It’s always a transition, and it’s a shame it’s our first outdoor match here against a good team, against an outdoor team, but we had some spots in which we competed well, and we had some that we didn’t,” Patrick said. “Some of the freshmen

weren’t quite prepared, had a little indoor feet, a little slow getting things going, but we finished up decent. We got competitive there in some spots, and I think we learned a lot.”

The past weekend’s matches bring Tennessee to a 9-10 overall record – 3-6 in conference play. While the team rejoiced in Friday’s victory, it was the loss against A&M that provided younger players with knowledge essential for winning upcoming matches.

“We need all six people to show up every day, especially when you’re playing a top-10 team, a finalist (in the) NCAA’s last year; their experience showed,” Patrick said. “We used this as a teaching moment and hopefully gained a lot out of it.”

The Lady Vols will travel to Baton Rouge, La., this Friday to take on LSU, and then Arkansas on Sunday.

“It’s a big match, a big weekend for us,” Patrick admitted.

“Both teams are teams that I think we can compete with well, but once again we’ve got to have everyone show up.”