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With love,

Illustration by Dillon Canfield • The Daily Beacon

Volume 128 Issue 25

utdailybeacon.com @utkdailybeacon

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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VALENTINE’SDAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

Dear Reader,

I’ll admit an embarrassing fact — I’ve been single every Valentine’s Day since I was born. It’s fine, honestly. To me, Valentine’s Day is just Saturday.

I’m not planning on crying into a bottle of wine while watching that video circulating that combines all of Severus Snape’s notable moments in the Harry Potter series (although I totally could, and it would not say anything about my thoughts on the holiday or my own confidence in my love life, thankyouverymuch).

But I get that, you know, it’s kind of a big deal for a lot of people. I’m not going to ruin it for you with a pity party for single people or a crusade against yet another consumerist holiday.

It’s nice, the idea that there’s a special day just to remind you about your special someone (or utter lack thereof).

For our second special issue of the year, The Daily Beacon staff knew we had to dedicate a paper to this most controversial of holidays. More importantly, we wanted to cover as many different aspects of St. Valentine as possible.

So in this issue you’ll see Tinder and Grindr and long distance relationships and cheap date ideas — everything you need to know to make the best of a day destined to end in disappointment because you probably set ridiculously high standards for just like one day out of the year that really doesn’t mean anything

in the grand scheme of things.

But yeah, so we have Galentine’s Day ideas and an erotic novel book review.

And definitely make sure you check out our new social media editor Alexandra Chiasson’s hilarious horoscopes (fellow Leos, beware of a new interest with a foot fetish).

But all cynicism aside, my favorite piece in this issue is a letter from UT English professor Marilyn Kallet about waiting for love. She writes to her younger self, writes about waiting and making it on your own before committing to another person. She writes about how beautiful and meaningful it is when they finally come into your life, almost as if by accident, and decide to stay (and recently celebrate a 30th wedding anniversary!).

It’s a good lesson, no matter what your relationship status is come Saturday: Wait. Appreciate where you are now. Appreciate who you are now.

So here’s to the couples, whether it’s been two months or two years or you just met on Tinder. And to the singles, live up your Saturday night like it’s 1999.

Also I hear Sex Week is passing out condom roses on Friday on Pedestrian Walkway. So there’s that.

--Editor-in-Chief, Claire Dodson

THE DAILY BEACON STAFF

EDITORIAL

Editor-in-Chief: Claire Dodson Managing Editor: Hanna Lustig Chief Copy Editor: Emilee Lamb, Cortney Roark News Editor: Hayley Brundige Asst. News Editor: Bradi Musil Special Projects Editor: Liv McConnell Sports Editor: Jonathan Toye Asst. Sports Editor: Taylor White Arts & Culture Editor: Jenna Butz Online Editor: Kevin Ridder Asst. Online Editor: Cara Sanders Photo Editor: Hannah Cather, Esther Choo Design Editor: Katrina Roberts, Lauren Ratliff Social Media Editor: Alexandra Chiasson Copy Editors: Melodi Erdogan, Tanner Hancock, Alexis Lawrence, Hannah Moulton, Faith Schweikert Editorial Production: Eric Gibson, Reid Hartsell, Justin Keyes, Teron Nunley, Steven Woods Training Editor: R.J. Vogt

ADVERTISING/PRODUCTION

Advertising Manager: Shelby Dildine Media Sales Representatives: Carly Kirkpatrick, Taylor Rife, Connor Thompson Advertising Production: Brandon White, Steven Woods Classified Adviser: Jessica Hingtgen

CONTACTS To report a news item, please e-mail editor.news@utdailybeacon.com or call 865-974-2348 To submit a press release, please e-mail pressreleases@utdailybeacon.com To place an ad, please e-mail beaconads@utk.edu or call 865-974-5206

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LETTERS POLICY: The Daily Beacon welcomes all letters to the editor and guest columns from students, faculty and staff. Each submission is considered for publication by the editor on the basis of space, timeliness and clarity. The Beacon reserves the right to reject any submissions or edit all copy in compliance with available space, editorial policy and style. Contributions must include the author’s name and phone number for verification. Students must include their year in school and major. Letters to the editor and guest columns may be e-mailed to letters@utdailybeacon.com or sent to Editor, 1340 Circle Park Dr., 11 Communications Building, Knoxville, TN 37996-0314.

The Daily Beacon is published by students at The University of Tennessee Monday through Friday during the fall and spring semesters and Wednesday during the summer semester. The offices are located at 1340 Circle Park Drive, 11 Communications Building, Knoxville, TN 37996-0314. The newspaper is free on campus and is available via mail subscription for $200/year, $100/semester or $70/summer only. It is also available online at: www.utdailybeacon.com The Daily Beacon is printed using soy based ink on newsprint containing recycled content, utilizing renewable sources and produced in a sustainable, environmentally responsible manner.

VALENTINE’SDAY

Thursday, February 12, 2015 • The Daily Beacon

A swipe at love

Bradi Musil

Assistant News Editor (@bradi4) “The funniest story I remember is when I accidentally farted on a guy who was trying to perform fellatio on me,” recalled Tyler High, recent UT graduate. “I died laughing. He was too hoity-toity to find it funny … I was asked to leave and then blocked on Grindr.”

Like High, many college students and postgrads alike have begun turning to apps like Tinder and Grindr to meet new people, with the interests of either starting a relationship or engaging in the notorious ‘hookup’ culture.

Experiences like High’s can transpire in even the most committed of relationships.

However, the oddity of having them occur with a near to absolute stranger makes the experience a bit more unique.

--Tyler High “ ( H o o k- u p culture) is a culture where there is a social acceptance of people looking for sexual activity that’s not necessarily to be had within the constraints of a romantic, monogamous relationships,” said Nora Berenstain, assistant professor in philosophy who teaches about rape culture and consent culture in her inter-sectional feminism class.

Many today may condemn the culture of widely accepted casual sex, calling it unsafe and

“I don’t think serendipity can take you to all of your potential mates. Grindr and Tindr can if that’s what you’re looking for.”

demoralizing. High, however, argued that apps like Tinder and Grindr have embraced the evolving dating climate and simply provide another avenue for men and women to find potential sexual partners or a committed relationship.

“It shouldn’t be a social faux pas,” High said.

“I have friends who don’t like even thinking about hooking up online, that in person random meetings are the best way. However, I don’t think serendipity can take you to all of your potential mates. Grindr and Tindr can if that’s what you’re looking for.”

When Kristin Parrott, senior in child and family studies, downloaded Tinder in October per a friend’s recommendation, a casual hook-up was not what she had in mind.

Thinking it would be fun to scroll through people’s pictures and look at their profiles, Parrott said she was initially put off by the “superficial” nature of the process.

“All you see are people’s faces and usually they don’t write very much about themselves,” Parrott said. “It seems so mean if you don’t want to talk to someone just because of the way you look. But, then, it starts to get easier and next thing you know you’re swiping right or left really fast.”

Although Parrott said she got three real dates out of the app before deleting it just a few weeks ago, she noted that it was obvious most people using Tinder were not interested in an exclusive relationship.

When High came out as a gay male in 2009, he said he downloaded Tinder and Grindr to meet other gay friends and preferred the safety of talking to people over the phone rather than enduring the awkward, in-person approach.

Although casual hook-ups may not be everyone’s cup of tea, High warned against making assumptions about those using Grindr, Tinder or any other dating method.

“The funniest thing about all of it is that some people present themselves as the ‘one night stand’ type and end up wanting so much more,” High said. “That is exactly how my boyfriend and I met. We were planning on just having a hook-up, but decided to turn the night into a traditional date instead.”

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VALENTINE’SDAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

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All you need is love

Love is the air, and it’s no exception for these cute campus couples. Take a sweet moment to meet these new and veteran duos on how they met and how long they’ve been together. Photo Essay by Esther Choo • Assistant Photo Editor

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Katie Henschel, Sophomore in therapeutic recreation & Paige Falkowski, Junior in sports marketing from Tennessee Wesleyan “We met by chance on 18th street.” -Three months

Natalie Bennett, Sophomore in College Scholars & Greg Soble, Senior in computer science “I met him in high school French class.” -Almost 5 years

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Paul Royse, Sophomore in piano performance & Katrina Nguyen, Freshman in pharmacy “We met on Tinder.” -4 months Reid Hartsell, Sophomore in painting & Alex Moore, Sophomore in sports management“We met at the Bluffs.” -5 months

VALENTINE’SDAY

Thursday, February 12, 2015 • The Daily Beacon

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Feb. 14 is sadly underrated

Jenna Butz For

VALENTINE’S DAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

On more than one occasion, I have been broken up with within a month of Valentine’s Day. The first time, I was a junior in high school who had just ended things with her boyfriend of nearly three and a half years. I could have spent my night inside, bawling my eyes out. I should have curled up on the couch with Gilmore Girls, ice cream smeared in my hair and used my stuffed bear as a tissue.

Luckily, a good friend went with me to Barnes and Noble to buy a new journal and then to Best Buy to pick up Disney’s version of Hercules. From there, I went to my neighbors house to watch Tosh.0.

The next year, after a surprise breakup, I spent Feb. 14 working the night away with a promise from my nowboyfriend, then “just friend” that we would eventually go eat burgers and waltz around Nashville in an effort to cheer me up.

Each time, I don’t remember ever feeling heartbroken.

Well, maybe about the fact I had been dumped but not about “missing” Valentine’s Day. Instead, I remember being utterly happy there was an entire day dedicated to being in love. Couples walk around with huge, cheesy grins, parents dote on their kids with candy and kisses and friends surprise each other with trinkets. My mom would share the candy her preschool kids would give her and always bought us a box of the conversation hearts.

I don’t believe Valentine’s is a day for greeting card companies. Actually, it’s a fact that that’s not how this day began. This tradition started in the fifth century when Christian saint Valentinus was imprisoned for marrying soldiers who were forbidden from marrying. He became a symbol of love and hope despite persecution.

Sure, let’s argue that there shouldn’t be a specific day to show how much you love someone. We should love extravagantly everyday, and why should we pull out all the stops for a seemingly random day in February?

Yeah, yeah, I get it, and it’s a valid point. But there is nothing wrong with a special day dedicated to each other.

Even if it’s not a significant other, it’s nice to send a little something extra to your dad or brother or dog just to remind them you care.

The decorations, candy, flowers and cards can be too much. If you’re in the Valentine’s aisle at any store, you might get nauseous and start a coalition to fight corporate greed.

But, take Valentine’s back to its simplest, purest form.

It’s a day for us to spread a little extra love around whether it’s with gifts or even just a little note of appreciation for your coworker. Even just taking out the trash is enough.

It’s cheesy and overdone, but it’s honestly the thought that counts.

What’s wrong with spreading just a little extra love?

Jenna Butz is a sophomor in journalism & electronic media. She can be reached at jkw546@vols.utk.edu.

No one wins on Valentine’s Day

Bradi Musil Against

I have had one Valentine’s date in my life, and I didn’t realize it even was a date until I had a bundle of flowers in one hand and a cup of free ice cream in the other.

I spent that day as I always did. I sat in class, avoiding general conversation and chitchat. Nobody brought me flowers or chocolates; I didn’t receive any secret admirer notes and I wasn’t forced to endure the humiliating experience of the singing telegram (something that, oddly enough, still exists in modernity). I went home, had dinner with my family and later went to get ice cream with a friend. However, I had made a huge mistake.

There is no such thing as a casual, opposite-sex hangout sesh on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t exist; it’s an enigma. I had been friends with this kid for years, ice cream was NBD — except suddenly it was. He insisted on paying and even brought me flowers. In the one million times we’d hung out, he’d never done that. Yes, the free ice cream was nice. The flowers were pretty, but we’d been friends for years without this kind of nonsense. He didn’t actually like me, or even want to date me, he just didn’t know how to act on Valentine’s Day and defaulted to the unnecessary romantic gesture.

If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, you’re expected to eat an excess amount of chocolate for no reason, sit in your pajamas with your other single girlfriends and cry over a Nicholas Sparks film. Truly, that sounds awesome on any given day, but what is it about Valentine’s Day that makes us feel like we are supposed to be more depressed than we usually are about flyin’ solo? And, apparently, if we have close friends of the opposite sex, we should avoid each other like the plague in case by some Valentine’s Day voodoo we should end up sharing the same spaghetti noodle.

If you’re in a relationship, you’re expected to top all other couples in their expressions of love to the point that a simple, nice dinner seems uncaring and thoughtless. Ultimately, nobody wins on Valentine’s Day. We are all left feeling disappointed, confused or alone.

For me, Valentine’s Day has always been about my dad. Being it his birthday, my family always spends Feb. 14 together. The emphasis wasn’t placed on buying my mom extravagant gifts or taking her to a fivestar dinner. It was placed on us all being nice to each other for one full day for my dad’s birthday. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about proving to the world how much you prize your significant other. Rather, it should be spent really appreciating everyone in your life that you love, something we should all probably do every other day of the year, too.

Bradi Musil is a sophomore in English. She can be reached at bmusil@vols.utk.edu.

Valentine’s Horoscopes

VALENTINE’SDAY

Thursday, February 12, 2015 • The Daily Beacon

The future of your love life is written in the stars ARIES (MARCH 22 - APRIL 20)

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 - OCT. 23)

The person who listed “watching Netflix” as a hobby on their Tinder profile might seem a little too boring for a right swipe, Aries, but give them a chance: they might have an HBO GO subscription as well.

You might think all is fair in love and war, Libra, but your ex will get their comeuppance without you hacking their Facebook account and asking for their cousin’s relationship status.

TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 20)

SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 21)

It’s okay to have high expectations in love, Taurus, and you’ve earned some pampering.

Take your search online and make a sugardaddie.com profile to get the lavish treatment you so desire.

Jealousy will get you nowhere, Scorpio. Neither will stalking. Or kidnapping.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 21)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)

Your verbal diarrhea gets you in trouble with the honey from time to time, Gemini. Stay out of the dog house by putting a tiny diaper on your mouth.

It seems your newest person of interest might have taken issue with your fondness for herbal remedies. Ditch them, Sagittarius. You’ll do better with someone on a higher level.

CANCER (JUNE 22- JULY 22)

CAPRICORN ( DEC. 22 - JAN. 20)

Your packrat tendencies shouldn’t seep into your love life, Cancer. Collecting lovers might be fun now, but pretty soon you’ll have more frat boys in your life than you can handle.

LEO (JULY 23 - AUG. 22)

Love life felt a little lackluster lately? Try a hot shower before your next cuddle sesh, Capricorn: you kind of stink

AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 21)

Invest in a new pair of socks, Leo. You’ll have someone with a mild foot fetish makin’ eyes at you faster than you can say “lick my toes.”

Your passion for democracy is admirable, Aquarius, but sometimes it simply isn’t efficient for everyone in the Swingers Club to have a say in deciding cruise destinations.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEPT. 22)

PISCES (FEB. 22 - MARCH 21)

You will soon find love in a public restroom.

Don’t read too much into it, Virgo; you deserve this.

You love to relax in water, so spend some time in a hot tub with your boo as soon as you get the chance. Just make sure to check chemical levels before you hop in, Pisces. Ending the night with a rash might kill the mood.

Compiled by Alexandra Chiasson, Social Media Editor

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VALENTINE’SDAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

SEX SELLS Take a peak inside Knoxville’s adult shops Last Tuesday, I visited five adult stores in one night — a mission I undertook in service of you, dear readers. There are well-curated, hip, non-creepy adult stores in big cities, certainly. There’s Babeland in New York and Good Vibrations in San Francisco. But here in Knoxvegas? I wasn’t sure. Thus, I sacrificed sleep and academic diligence to survey the nearby options.

Columnist Thomas Carpenter accompanied me. The findings, observations and recommendations that follow are the result of that adventure.

Before the reviews, a few notes:

Hanna Lustig

Managing Editor

Adult stores sell more than sex toys. They may also sell a smattering of lingerie, erotic novels and movies, games, bondage and fantasy wear, educational books and videos, pornography of all kinds, lubricants, condoms, bachelor/ette party supplies, costumes, massage oils, bath products, toy cleaner — all that and more, folks. As with all stores, selection varies with each location. But generally, there’s a little of everything.

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The toys are probably in the back. There may be a curtain, doorway or partition separating the room full of lingerie and/or smoke accessories from the room full of sexier stuff, but feel free to wander as you please.

Ask for help and guidance when you want it, though. Ask any question you’d like. These shopkeepers have likely seen and heard everything. You are just another customer, and getting their insight could be really helpful.

Make sure your toy works before leaving the store.

Most of the time, the employee will have batteries behind the cash wrap and they’ll let you test it out before leaving. Some places even insist on it. This is basic protocol, so don’t feel weird about it.

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Basic reproduction is innate, but sex is not. Sex (especially good sex) requires education, discussion and exploration. Luckily, figuring out what turns you on is pretty fun.

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All people deserve sexual health, happiness and expression. Sex is not something to be ashamed of and not something you need to be discreet about.

VALENTINE’SDAY

Love Shack 5011 Kingston Pike

Creepiness: Selection: You’re probably singing B-52’s lyrics already, but this is not “a little old place where we can get together.” Love Shack is the adult store closest to campus and I’ll say this up front: convenience is the Love shack’s only redeeming quality. The walls and floors are stark white, lit only by harsh fluorescent lights overhead — envision it like a tiny, dildo-selling Wal-Mart. The night we visited, the only employee on duty was a leery man in his late 30’s smoking outside the backdoor. He hears the bell when we enter, but comes inside only to lock eyes with me and grunt in recognition before returning to his smoke break.

Even after he finishes his cigarette and returns to the cash wrap, he doesn’t speak to us. This was, admittedly, our first stop of the night, but I can’t in good conscience recommend this place. I just can’t.

Thomas’s Take: This was the first adult store I had ever entered and I was apprehensive to say the least. The atmosphere of this place didn’t help. From unappealing displays to the creepy cashier, I was uncomfortable staying very long in there.

Want a more discreet buying method?

Try these websites: Adam and Eve, LoveHoney, Holistic Wisdom, SheVibe, BetterSex, Early to bed, SexToyFun, Amazon. If you want to shop online, you can actually buy from those hip chain stores I mentioned earlier, Good Vibes and Babeland.

Most of these retailers offer discreet shipping and sometimes even discreet billing to match.

Thursday, February 12, 2015 • The Daily Beacon

Romantic Escapades 7624 Chapman Highway Creepiness: Selection: It’s a little out of the way, about 20 minutes from campus, but Romantic Escapades is genuinely worth the drive. They had lots of products I didn’t see elsewhere, including a bondage bed (which was more like an enormous black bean bag with leather straps). The variety at this store was killer and they had testers displayed for just about everything - including a male sex toy called the Fleshlight, a truly impressive feat of human engineering.

Google it, y’all. While I was there, the cashier was training a new employee and drilling her on sex terminology, so these people know their stuff. Moreover, the whole experience was incredibly comfortable. I felt at ease, much like I do at Cracker Barrel.

Thomas’s Take: Run of the mill store for this seasoned vet of vendors of vices. Good selection, nice facility, but nothing out of the ordinary (as adult stores go).

Adult Video Super Store 515 Lovell Rd. Creepiness: Selection: At first glance, Adult Video Superstore looked seedy.

It’s located on the side of a highway and admittedly, it doesn’t offer much in the way of toys, lingerie or costumes. Only the corners of the room contained anything but rows of DVDs. Porn connoisseurs rejoice! This is your paradise. Moreover, the store’s mustard yellow walls (complete with red glittery accents lettering!) gave the space a cool, 70’s era look that I really dug. Shag carpet wouldn’t not have been out of place. Hovering near the front was the shopkeeper, an older woman who described AVSS’s wares as “just a bunch of fun stuff.” She said this with polite apathy, and I loved her for it.

Thomas’s Take: Take Blockbuster. Multiply the joy you felt there as a 10-year-old and replace Toy Story with Busty Babes 6. Best selection, largest facility, great experience.

Intimate Treasures 7212 Kingston Pike Creepiness: Selection: Upon arrival, Thomas’s observation of this place was, “They look like nice people.” At the time, all we could see were light purple walls and a couple mannequins in red lingerie through the front window.

But I knew what he meant, and I agreed. Intimate Treasures was clearly a departure from the poorly named Love Shack. Unlike our previous stop, this store was warm and inviting, though admittedly feminine. The lube display was sizable and magnificent. The entire store were very well stocked, although they did lean toward the tame.

The girl behind the register was awesome, though. She gave us free concert tickets.

Thomas’s Take: Although the walls were the color of my 9-year-old cousin’s doll house and I felt like I was inside of Liberace’s mother’s vagina, it was a very comfortable experience. Would definitely return.

Fantasy World 120 S. Peters Rd.

Creepiness: Selection: When I entered Fantasy World, I locked eyes with the sales clerk behind the counter and she immediately took me on a tour of the store. “Do you want to see something none of the other stores have?” she said. I nodded eagerly. She led me into the toy aisles behind the register and showed me a 24K solid gold vibrator. It was $2,599, and only one was left because the other two had already sold. The clerk also showed me a life-size female doll made of a material called Cyber skin. Simply put, Fantasy World probably sells anything you might want.

Thomas’s Take: This place was the Best Buy of adult stores. They meant serious business with their products, including the $2,500 vibrator. The manager was not joking around when she gave us a tour.

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VALENTINE’SDAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

Long distance relationshi k r o ps prove w d r Katrina Roberts challenging, reward ha Design Editor (@KatrinaRoberts_)

Jacob Bennett walked through the door of his girlfriend Tiffany’s apartment around 5 p.m. Saturday. Black bag slung over his shoulder, baseball cap on his head, he was finally off from his job in Lebanon, Tennessee and had made the two-hour trip to spend the weekend with her in Knoxville. Over the next two days, they went out to eat, watched Netflix and did homework side-by-side — things they don’t get to do while they’re 150 miles apart.

For many couples, spending a weekend together is standard practice — an extended version of a regular weekday. But for Tiffany Woodard, a junior in kinesiology, and Bennett, the occasional weekend visit is the only time they get to see each other — in person that is.

Cody Woodside, a junior in journalism and electronic media, is in a similar relationship, but on a geographically grander scale.

“When it started, it was not very long distance,” Woodside said. “It started in Knoxville when I met an international student who was here from South America — Brazil -- and we were just friends.”

But eventually their friendship turned into something more. For several months, the two dated and spent a lot of time together, bonding over a mutual love of quesadillas and “Futurama,” until December when it was time to return home to Brazil.

“In our particular case, we didn’t ever consider going our separate ways,” Woodside said. “Just because we’re not in the same country or hemisphere doesn’t mean that you can’t have feelings for each other and be faithful.”

The dreaded long-distance relationship is becoming more common among college students, with an estimated 32.5 percent of relationships being long distance, according to a 2014 study done by Statistic Brain Research Institute.

A major contributing factor to this growing percentage is advancements in modern technology. A few decades ago, the idea of being able to chat with someone in a different location was limited to a letter or a phone call. But now, even when couples can’t physically see each other, there are multiple ways to talk, all at the tips of their fingers. Texting, FaceTime and Skype are just a few apps that keep the communication flowing.

For Bennett and Woodard, texting each other throughout the day is the best way to stay in contact.

“If we’re not in class or she’s not sleeping,” Bennett said, “we’re texting a lot. We’re texting from the moment one of us wakes up until one of us falls asleep.”

But this constant communication doesn’t come without its problems.

“One of the most frustrating parts about a long distance relationship is when you’re maybe even arguing on FaceTime and the connection breaks out,” Woodside said.

“And your first thought is ‘did you hang up on me? What the f***, are you kidding me?’”

And even when a wireless connection is flawless, other issues can arise. Woodard and Bennett often run into problems when they want to go out with friends. For both parties, it becomes an issue of trust.

“Do you trust the person enough to say, ‘Oh you’re going to a bar, cool, have fun! Or do you get jealous and you’re like, ‘I kinda hate you for doing this, but it’s whatever,’” Woodard said.

“And we’re working on communicating more in that area.”

But despite the struggles of a long distance relationship, there are silver linings, and more than ever, there are more creative ways to stay in touch than a text or phone call. Social media apps and games like Twitter, Trivia Crack and Snapchat allow couples to interact on a different level, giving them a variety of ways to keep things fresh.

Woodard and Bennett often use Twitter to share funny videos, and they send Vines that they think will make the other laugh. For Woodside, TriviaCrack is a newer way to make things more fun.

“We send each other mean messages on the chat to intimidate,” Woodside said. “I’m way better than he is.”

But all the apps and games in the world will not erase the work that has to be put into any relationship, especially one that happens from a distance. It takes patience, Bennett said, and it’s something he’s learned a lot about.

“She makes me laugh and I enjoy being around her.

She’s a sweet girl. She kinda grew up with a hard life, and she deserves more than people think she deserves,” Bennett said.

“And I love her.”

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Ways to keep your long distance relationship interesting

Take advantage of social media. A quick mention lets your significant other know you’re thinking about them.

While you’re online mentioning him/ her, send a laugh as well. Funny videos, memes, vines and gifs are sure to brighten their day.

Play games like TriviaCrack or Words With Friends to add some healthy competition.

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Netflix is a beautiful thing. Now you can watch movies and shows at the same time. Try not to cry too hard at the end of “Toy Story 3.”

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Plan a trip together. Whether it’s going to a whole new city or meeting in between, there’s something special about getting away.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Thursday, February 12, 2015 • The Daily Beacon

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Valentine’s letter to my younger self Dear Marilyn,

Wait. You don’t have to marry S.K. Years from now you will refer to this as your “first marriage” -- your “mother’s marriage.” I know she has convinced you that you can’t survive on your own. You can and will. You will pry yourself out of that train wreck and rent your own apartment. Adrienne Rich and Audre Lorde will write poems that will bolster your sense of self. Gloria Steinem will invent a helpful magazine. May Sarton will become your daughter’s godmother. But you’re getting ahead of yourself. Just wait. As Galway Kinnell will write, “Trust the hours.”

You will find a job in Knoxville, at the University of Tennessee, and be pleasantly surprised by the friendliness of the community. Joe Trahern will be a great “boss” and will make all things possible at the start of your career. You were born in Montgomery, Alabama. Tennessee will not scare you. Okay, it will, but it will improve and become more cosmopolitan over the years. One mayor, Victor Ashe, will invite you to read poetry of Jewish identity in Poland. An enlightened mayor, Madeline Rogero, will eventually make you even prouder of the city. She will dance with Lou at public events. Lou is not self-conscious, and he’s an enthusiastic dancer.

But this is not about politics or dancing.

In 1981, you will be new to Knoxville, and lonely. Your mother will say, “Join the temple.” This time she will be right! You’ll force yourself to go to a temple party, at the Hahn’s on Concord Lake. There a friendly goofy guy named Lou will also be in attendance. He won’t look like much at first. Scrawny. He’ll flesh out, believe me.

He’ll ask for your number. He will call and call –– will persist for five years before he finally convinces you to marry him. You will resist.

Your body will know what your mind does not. Your body will convince your feelings and your thoughts to join the party with this scrawny Jewish ecologist.

Later you will view him as a hero for his work on the environment. Later you will fall seriously in love with him. But for now, put on the ivory-colored cocktail dress, and marry. At your wedding in 1985, Rabbi Paul Kaplan will say, “Judaism teaches us not to feel guilty about our bodies.”

Heather will arrive not long after. You will you fall seriously in love with her, too.

And Lou will surprise you in the best way, proving himself to be an engaged and adoring father. Parenting will require strenuous teamwork and he will do his share.

He will take Heather to the Laurel Theater where both you and she will hear some of the best traditional music in America. Lou will be the sound engineer at the theater; running sound is his hobby, and he’s the best in town. Jubilee will mount a plaque on the theater wall: “To Lou Gross, the Sound Doctor.” Heather will crawl on a blanket on the floor, will listen to Guy and Candie Carawan, to John McCutcheon. She will become a musician and a writer.

You will compose a signature poem about that miserable first marriage, beginning, “Makeup can only do so much.” You will learn to shape misery into the blues poetry.

And unlike men you had known earlier, Lou will support your passion for writing.

You and Lou will even offer programs together, on “The Marriage of Poetry and Science.”

When you write love poems to phantom men, Lou will not grow jealous. He will be confident, trusting. He will not pry. He will never ask, “Who’s that poem for?” Well, okay, he’ll ask once. In 2013 you will read a sensual love poem, “I Want You Here,” to the audience at the Hodges Library Auditorium. Lou will grin at you from the front row. “Who’s that poem for?” he’ll ask. You’ll look him in the eyes and respond, after nearly 30 years of marriage: “You. It’s for you.”

Marilyn Kallet Marilyn Kallet is the director of the creative writing program at the University of Tennessee, and the Nancy Moore Goslee Professor of English. She is the author of 16 books, including The Love That Moves Me, Black Widow Press. She was inducted into the East Tennessee Literary Hall of Fame in poetry in 2005. She also teaches poetry workshops in Auvillar, France, for the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts.

Marilyn is married to Louis Gross, James R. Cox and Alvin and Sally Beaman Distinguished Professor of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology and Mathematics and outgoing director, National Institute for Mathematical and Biological Synthesis.

Their daughter, Heather Miriam Gross, worked at CNN, and is now assistant managing editor at McKinsey and Company.

• Marilyn Kallet, left, Luo Gross and Baby Heather

12

VALENTINE’S DAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

Knoxville’s Chocolate Chocolatier focuses on customers’ love for the city McCord Pagan

Staff Writer

Nearly 100 years ago, what is now 1060 World’s Fair Park Drive was the manufacturing and distribution center for Knoxville’s premiere chocolatier, the Littlefield and Steere Company. The candy company was highly successful, shipping their sweet treats across the Southeast from their Knoxville headquarters.

Today, thanks to Bradley Hamlett and his wife, Joy, the building has been returned to its roots.

Bradley Hamlett opened his first store in West Knoxville, Bradley’s Chocolate and Gifts, with his father nearly 20 years ago. Since then, his business has grown to include Knoxville Chocolate Company and an expanded presence in West Knoxville. Taking over the Knoxville Chocolate Company two years ago, Hamlett said he is even considering opening a third location sometimes in 2016. For now, he is focusing on rebranding his business to focus on his city.

Previously Bradley’s Chocolate Factory, named for the co-owner, Bradley Hamlett, the business is rebranding itself to try and better

fit in to the Knoxville community. “We really want to focus on this year being Knoxville’s chocolate,�

Hamlett said. “We’re not a chain, we’re just a local family business.

We want this whole city to, when they think of chocolate, to think of Knoxville Chocolate Factory.�

Hamlett is even using his merchandise to build on Knoxville culture. Realizing the popularity of his “Tennessee Walking Stick� - a pretzel stick covered in chocolate and walnuts – Hamlett has a line of sweets, from chocolate bars in the shape of the state and football helmets, to orange and white gummies, the store capitalizes on Knoxville residents’ love for their city.

Hamlett said he hopes his store becomes more than a retail estabMolly Gladish snags some milk chocolate cheesecake bites for a customer at the lishment, but a local attraction. Part of the rebranding will include deco- Chocolate Factory. Hannah Cather • The Daily Beacon rating the store with vintage photos While the prices for the chocolate reflect said. “If I have to take orders, then the strawof Knoxville, something Hamlett said would that it was made by hand — most of the truf- berries could be made at 2 in the morning.â€? bring in customers new and old.

When it comes to Valentine’s Day gifting, fles range from $15-$20 a pound — Hamlett Mollie Gladish, a clerk at Knoxville said he can always guarantee freshness in his chocolates are a classic choice for good reaChocolate Store, said part of what makes the products. son, as attested to by Hamlett’s personal story. store special is its focus on community.

To do this though, Hamlett refuses to take Were it not for his chocolate company, Hamlet “It’s kind of neat to be in a local place pre-orders, even for Valentine’s Day, one of his would never have met his wife. that puts so much emphasis on local busi- busiest days of the year. “I always tell people she only paid for ness,� Gladish said. “(Owners Brad and Joy “If you want to buy a dozen strawberries, chocolate one time,� he said. “She never paid Hamlett) put a lot of emphasis on making the those dozen strawberries that you get will be for anything again.� business feel like a family.� made within an hour of you buying them,� he

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PUZZLES&GAMES

Thursday, February 12, 2015 • The Daily Beacon

13

NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD • Will Shortz

Timtation Creation • Timothy Brunson

Cartoons of The Daily Beacon are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or the Beacon’s editorial staff.

ACROSS 1 Nobel-winning novelist ___ Kertész 5 “The Wind in the Willows” squire 11 3-Down sound 14 Take off 15 Engagement party?

16 Kerfuffle 17 Place for a bed and dresser 19 Kerfuffle 20 Excellence, to ancient Greeks 21 What may have quite a stir?

22 It’s no fun 24 City on the Italian Riviera 26 Not overt 27 Time past 28 Like some vin 30 Bad state to be in 33 2005 Nobel-winning playwright 38 Ski jumper’s path 39 Sesame seed pastes 40 Sick 41 Got well

43 Acrobat displays?

44 A., B. and others: Abbr.

45 Parisian pronoun 47 Word in many Bugs Bunny puns 50 One outsmarted by Odysseus 54 They’re marked 55 Job listing abbr.

57 Honest, informally 58 Family moniker 59 Inadequate effort … or the contents of six squares in this puzzle?

62 Pogo, e.g.

63 Word with bar or bed 64 1997 Peter Fonda title role 65 Adams of “Big Eyes” 66 Forcibly removes 67 Nag, e.g.

DOWN 1 ___ Marías (Mexican penal colony) 2 Actress Kelly 3 11-Across maker

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S T I R

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B P D E S E U T E A R S A A L A B H C L E E T E A M I R I V A S N K I N R O N A D E R C A P E E K T O

A A S S T H S S H O A R P U Y R I N T E R K S D Y A M MINO A TAUR L A R T E W B I E G M I N O O D D S S J E T A R I N S C

T R U T H

H E L L

M A D E

A D A Y

S M E R I I S M S O O B L A D S

C R E T E

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P U N T

S E E P

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4 African nation with a much-disputed border 5 Econ. sector 6 Tear asunder 7 Use as a resource 8 Short race, informally 9 Horizontally: Abbr.

10 Sinks 11 “Here We Come a-Wassailing,” for one 12 Treasure 13 Blew away 18 “A fuller blast ___ shook our battlements”: “Othello” 23 Minor problem 25 George of “Route 66” 26 On good grounds

60

51

61

28 One side in the Boer Wars, informally 29 Unaided 30 Roller coaster unit 31 Part of a krone 32 Montreal university 34 “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for ___” (1985 book) 35 Winged god 36 Middle-earth inhabitant 37 Literary monogram 39 Traveling circus, often 42 Funny Terry 43 Accumulates 46 Winningest N.C.A.A. Basketball Championship sch.

47 Singer with the #1 debut album “Animal,” 2010

48 Start of a mathematical proof 49 Not smooth 50 Brand once pitched

by Josephine the Plumber 51 Small egg 52 Tel Aviv’s ___ Center for Peace 53 Wintry mix 55 As well 56 Tiny amphibians 60 Site of the first Parliament of Scotland 61 R.N. locales

14

VALENTINE’S DAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

Goin’ to the chapel Students focus on individuality, personal goals while engaged, married Liv McConnell

Special projects Editor

In an era where all the odds seem stacked against lasting commitment, some young UT couples are choosing to do something truly daring — get married.

Engagement or marriage prior to college graduation, though once a common occurrence, is now far more culturally atypical. A 2014 study conducted by the Pew Research Center showed an unprecedented rise in Americans’ median age at first marriage — 27 for women and 29 for men . The study revealed that one-fourth of Millennials in adulthood are currently married, and a historically high number never plan on getting hitched at all.

Shaana Davis, a senior in college scholars who has been with her now-fiancé Carlton Mcdonald for nearly eight years, understands the reluctancy of many of her peers to commit at their age.

“You want to live up to the expectation of graduating and getting a good job, outside of being engaged and getting married,” Davis said. “You want to keep your dreams and individuality.”

Although Davis and Mcdonald have been together since ages 14 and 16, some peoples’ reactions to their engagement announcement in September were not entirely as the pair expected.

“The first question I was asked wasn’t excitement, it was ‘Are you still going to graduate?’” she said. “I’m sure people were thinking, are your dreams going to fade away since you’re going to have to follow his dream? But it’s not like that in my relationship.”

Marriage doesn’t mean the same thing for women today that it did in her mother’s generation, Davis pointed out.

And some brides-to-be, like Amy Prosise, senior in human resource management, believe it’s possible to be both progressively minded and get married young.

“I’m very much a feminist and have progressive views,” Prosise said. “I don’t necessarily think it’s best practice for most relationships that I see at this age to get married … I never had the expectation for (marrying young). I’ve always been extremely career-driven.”

Although Prosise may never have been the girl with a Pinterest account full of wedding ideas since adolescence,

she feels confident marriage is the next step for her relationship. She and fiancé Conner Schwartz have been together for nearly five years.

“It just makes sense for us,” she said.

“We really think of each other in a very progressive way. I see him as my life partner, and he sees me as his. We have separate lives but we support each other in everything we do.”

Nathan Kabir, sophomore in civil engineering, believes it’s important for couples to take things at their own pace and not base decisions upon the expectations placed on one’s peer group.

“It’s a matter of personal comfort,” he said. “Whatever a couple is comfortable with is what they should do.”

For him, that meant proposing to his fiancé Matt Lindsey, sophomore in psychology, last semester.

“I feel great pride in being able to say, ‘This is the man I’m going to marry,’” Kabir said. “It’s like, this isn’t just someone I’m dating for a few months, we’re not just a thing. We are THE thing.”

Kabir, much like Davis, Prosise and their fiancés, has opted for a long engagement with plans for post-graduation nuptials. But for students like Brad Hines, senior in journalism and electronic media, waiting to complete school first wasn’t deemed a necessity. He and his wife, Laura, met while working in University Housing and have been married two years this month.

Marriage has led to a much different undergraduate experience than the significant majority of Hines’ peers; only 7 percent of American college undergrads are married, according to data compiled by campusexplorer.com. But it’s an experience that has its own unique perks.

“There are things that you don’t ordinarily have to deal with as an undergrad, like a mortgage, a car payment and three dogs,” Hines said. “But marriage makes things easier because all the stressors of college are easier to deal with when you have someone who will reliably always be there.”

Ultimately, early marriage doesn’t have to mean the forsaking of one’s personal goals and ideals, said Davis.

“When you’re engaged or married, you realize that your dreams become their dreams and their dreams become yours,” she said. “It truly is magical. And weird.”

VALENTINE’S DAY

Thursday, February 12, 2015 • The Daily Beacon

Do yourself a favor, read an erotic novel Hannah Cather

Photo Editor (@hannahcather)

Anticipation: “Hidden Fire,” “Long Hard Ride,” “Desire’s Flame.”

The variety of titles stunned me; there are only so many ways you can describe an erotic novel.

When we began brainstorming for our Valentine’s Day special issue, we knew there would be cute date ideas and profiles on couples. Those were obvious, but we needed more than adorable topics. So I jokingly said, “I’ll write a review on an erotic novel.” Everyone laughed, Claire wrote it on the board and we moved on.

Then it came time to actually acquire said erotic novel.

I thought about asking a librarian if UT had any erotica in the stacks, but decided against that awkward conversation and made my way to McKay’s. Instead of getting lost in the store or finding a map, I approached the closest employee. Only after the words “where are” left my mouth did I realize that I was talking to a tall, bearded man with earbuds casually looped around his neck. It was too late to be embarrassed, so I finished my question.

“Where are the adult novels?”

“Do you mean adult fiction novels or adultadult novels?”

“Uhm, adult novels. I guess ‘erotica’ is a better word.”

“Groovy. Aisle 4 or 6.”

I nodded and walked off, wondering why I hadn’t just looked for the books myself. Stepping into Aisle 4, I immediately regretted my decision to blindly search for my book. Hundreds and hundreds of paperbacks plastered in all shades of pink lined the shelves, and I immediately felt overwhelmed. How in the world was I

supposed to pick one out of the thousands?

Call mom. That’s what I did. Why? Because mothers are supposed to be able to help you in any situation. I called mine and she laughed then sheepishly suggested 50 Shades of Grey.

“No, Mom. That’s predictable and lame. I need something steamy.”

I snagged something I assumed would fit the bill: Into the Night by Janelle Denison.

Review: Into the Night stars two surprisingly complex characters who met at a speed-dating event. Nathan and Nicole’s lust for one another is the driving factor behind the plot development until the two become partners in rescuing a missing girl. The novel is based in Las Vegas where the antagonist of the story is a wealthy man with an insatiable interest in younger girls.

Nathan and Nicole go under cover, move in together and have some wild sex.

After the first 14-page sexual narrative, Denison works in only 18 more pages of naughtiness. 35 pages!? That’s it!?

Maybe I picked the wrong novel (obviously) but it was a bit disappointing. The story itself was captivating so I had no trouble reading it over the weekend. My favorite phrase was “deep, dark velvet blue eyes.” Isn’t that romantic?

A few of the passages I read aloud to the people around me, and we giggled immaturely. But can you really take “He sucked in a sharp breath as her lips branded his skin, then groaned deep in his throat when she gently bit down on the firm flesh of his abdomen” seriously? I think not.

Take away: If you want a riveting, soap-opera style story, pick up an erotic novel. If you want some literature that will get you all hot and bothered, pick up an erotic novel. If you want to impress anyone with your last read book, pick up an erotic novel.

15

This one’s for the girls The ladies of the Beacon compiled this list of fun Galentine’s Day activities.

Go get waffles! Whether you hit up Waffle House or decide you prefer a little more glamour and venture to Cafe 4 in Market Square, nothing beats a good waffle.Waffles pairs perfect with Number 2.

Gettin’ day drunk on mimosas. Snag a few bottles of champagne jugs and some orange juice and make them yourself. If you’re out eating waffles, go ahead and order a mimosa (or two or three.)

You know what looks good on Valentine’s Day? Lacy pink lingerie.Head to Victoria’s Secret and snag some pretty things for yourself - not for no man.

You and your ladies are adventurous? Don some bandanas and huge sunglasses like Thelma and Louise, and take a day trip to Asheville, North Carolina or Nashville, Tennessee. Both cities are full of adorable food places and boutiques.

Go kickboxing. Or zumba-ing. Or salsa dancing.Your hearts will thank you for the high-energy activity.

Go shoe shopping, NOT because you’re adhering to traditional gender roles, but because you love a good wedge.Wedges will never leave you, and if they’re comfy, they will always love you.

If you don’t feel like going anywhere, then these next two are for you. Grab some blankets and cookies and stake out on the couch and watch all the movies nominated for Razzies this year.You’re bound to get some laughs from the worst movies of the year.

Show your cuticles some love, and give yourself a mani/pedi. Depending on your mood, stick with Valentine’s Day color scheme of reds and pinks, or just go all black. Nothing wrong with that.

Alpha Chi Omega

Chi Omega

Loren Kirkland Rachel Newton Lauren Rucker Alivia Shasteen Amy Watkins Kelsey West

Lacy Adorante Grace Brown Nan Bumpus Caroline Conley Emma Cotton Sarah Hagaman Courtney Hayes Sophia Lavie Courtney Lindsey Lindsay Markham Camille Marsden Grayson Maynard Natalie North Mary Nyhus Rebecca Payton Abigail Wood

Alpha Delta Pi Meredith Bernhard Gracyn Garrett Chandler Hansen Hannah Hausman Kaitlyn Horner Emma McGinley Emily Odom Abigail Pirie Lauren Speck Taylor Stallings Beverly Stout Morgan Thomason

Alpha Omicron Pi Aubrey Austin Alessandra Ferrero Mary Hardee Mary Haynie Catherine Jordan Jordan Jowers Taylor Kinard Sonja Lipman Meredith Maroney Ashley Rahrer Sydney Rudd Anna Safren Carlee Workman

Eduarda Lague Morgan Levenhagen Kristen Miranda Shannon O’Donoghue

Kappa Delta Leah Anderson Baylor Baugh Mary Belew Reed Broadway Morgan Carter Lindsey Cherry Lauren DeBusk Kasey Landreth Whitney Smith Taylor Winkler

Kappa Kappa Gamma

Brittney Ford Kelsey Towe

Vanessa Berkley Roxanne Beye Ashley Clevenger Jordan Deatherage Faulkner Emerson Paige Goodwin Elissa Heckman Julia Jamison Emily Netherton Whitney Padgett Jaclyn Partridge Whitney Robinson Tricia Thrasher

Delta Zeta

Phi Mu

Delta Delta Delta Copeland Cobb Hallie Graves Megan Hargreaves Elisha Mott Sarah Mynatt Samantha Schriver Caroline Statum Kari Summers

Delta Gamma

Rebekah Alison Kelci Bryson Catherine Coppernoll

Lindsay Ammerman Andria De Stefano Rachel Dykes

Lila Fisher Anna Hurdle Abbigayle Laszacs Rebecca Roberts Blair Solomon Anna Steele Courtney Storey

Pi Beta Phi Rachel Hadden Mary Norris Samantha Scott Amanda Slade Jillian Valk

Sigma Kappa Nicole Elford Rachel Gunia Miranda Isaacs Kiley Jacobs Mary McCluney Haleigh Meyer Sydney Michelson Elizabeth Pollard Allison Sights

Zeta Tau Alpha Allyson Baggott Lauran Gieske Callie Maliniak Tayler McGuire Corrin Phillips

16

VALENTINE’SDAY

The Daily Beacon • Thursday, February 12, 2015

How to survive the honeymoon phase Hayley Brundige

News Editor (@hayleybrundige)

Valentine’s Day for established couples can be great — extravagant displays of love, excessive amounts of chocolate and reservations at a restaurant you’re willing to pretend you can afford.

Feb. 14 for newly dating couples, however, can be excruciatingly awkward.

As a holiday that is inherently taken way too seriously, Valentine’s Day presents several challenges for couples that have only been dating for, say, a week.

Suddenly, gifts and gestures are all that matter in the relationship. An e-card and a homemade coupon book might say something deeper about your lack of commitment to the relationship. Lingerie or a couple’s weekend in the Poconos is likely on the heavy-handed side.

Not getting a gift at all could be cause for breaking up.

Navigating the murky waters that are the first few weeks of a relationship can be difficult, and the pressure of Valentine’s Day certainly doesn’t help.

Here’s some advice f ro m

your fellow Vols about how to make it through your relationship’s germination period.

How to survive Valentine’s Day On the whole, a casual approach to the holiday is best. Wade Scofield, a UT graduate dating McKenzie Martin, a senior in journalism and electronic media, said couples should do something romantic on Valentine’s Day, but shouldn’t take the day too seriously.

“Just treat it like a normal date, but with presents,” Scofield said. “Presents are good.”

For Merry-Reid Sheffer, a senior in English who has been dating her boyfriend for six months, the holiday is an opportunity to have fun with gift-giving.

“I think it can be fun to pretend like certain days are really important and fancier than all others — that’s what holidays really are, right?” Sheffer said. “But it’s certainly not a make or break situation, and shouldn’t be.”

When to make it “Facebook Official” It’s hard to determine the right time to announce your relationship to your cyber community, or even whether to do so at all. Katie Lee, junior in psychology, waited to go FBO until she and her boyfriend were ready to answer some uncomfortable questions.

“My advice would be to put it on Facebook only when you’re ready to answer all the questions your grandma is going to ask you about your partner: ‘Is it serious? Are you two

talkin’ marriage?

When am I going to have great-grandbabies?’” Lee said. “Trust me, you don’t want to deal with these questions unless you are planning on keeping your partner around for a little while.”

For Martin and Scofield, on the other hand, the label acted as a sort of halfserious territory marker.

“We never really focused on putting our relationship on social media, and when we did it was just kind of satirical,” Martin said. “After we had been dating for six months and Wade moved to Dallas for law school we decided to put our relationship on Facebook because of the distance ... I didn’t want people to think it was ok to hit on my #MCM. “We did it the sneaky way though so it wouldn’t pop up into anyone’s newsfeed.”

When to meet the parents Focker or not, meeting the parents can bring with it enormous pressure. It’s better to get it over with sooner than later, Lee said. For her, that’s about four or five months into the relationship.

“Meeting the parents is an important step in the relationship because if you don’t like your partner’s family, then maybe the relationship may not work out in the long run,” Lee said. “Trust me, you want his or her family to like you.”

If you’re lucky, you’ll gain a second family to annoy.

“I play Trivia Crack with his mom, tweet obnoxious things at his brothers, and spend the night at his aunt’s house,” Martin said, who’s been dating her boyfriend for nearly a year. “One time I taught his grandma how to use iMovie and she made me hot chocolate.

It’s great.”

How to not be that kind of couple: It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of new love. No one outside your new relationship, however, is as ecstatic as you are about it.

A rule of thumb for new couples, Scofield said, is to lay off social media.

“What really bothers me about other couples in general is the need to tell everyone on social media how important the other person is to them,” Scofield said. “If you’re dating, we know you think the other person’s important. And that’s something you should tell the other person.”

For Lee, it’s important to take it slow. “(Don’t throw) around ‘I love you’ like it means nothing,” said Lee, who has been dating her boyfriend for three and a half years.

“I’m probably old fashioned, but saying I love you is a really big deal to me, and I hate it when people say it without truly meaning it or just to get a reaction or a response from their partner.”