Student Lies, April 1, 1929

Student Lies

Weather Uncertai n Capacity: 2 Gallons

Date , Hot. 1005 B. C.

Any 9ive n Number

A. W .S.PRESIDENT KIDNAPPED LIBRA RY SITE DECIDED ' *

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ARCHll ECTAPPOINTED Shout1- hoth of nnj!'uish llll{\ of j oy h:1vc lx'cn caused b)' announcements nrndc ycstel'( lay i:onccrnin g ih (' new lihr:try nt the

U.S.C ..-\. The locnt ior , 1uch1lcctul'c , and librnrinn ha\'e bee n decided upon by the libr a ry com mitt ee , compose d of cx-l're~idc nt Coo I i d ge.

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wea kl y by Junior (afte r S upper) ------

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BUNK STAFF Editor is Thi ef . ..

Asst. Editor Bus. M?nage r Art Editor ...... If you

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Pupil's Outlook

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P r~y~,~~ ,~~"~its

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Enter ed in Pos t-office as ran k matte r 10:00 o'clock A.S.

LOST: One st.eady fellow. Please retu rn Intact to Room 280.

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FOUND and smA YINO : Two pcrrt'Ctly good graS& widows. And IC anyone needs formal dates, Orpha S. and Far ris E. are d(':!nltc ly unat tache d.

The

bells of h ell go Ung -a- lin g Hug. f 'or you but not fo r me, For me the An i,rels slng-a-lln g1 Ung,

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Ti1cy vc 11;otthe goods ror me Tuis ls not. great. Poetry bu~

c~~\~eru sia~n!et·!Z tg~~=

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Egg Plant ~}lcNr~o~ndt.o ~~lt.t,~ethat re~uig ~ ere _ 1s. no Sen~e ~~~v~~n~~t~ h! !~c .!.hings mu.st ····· ··· Sigma Chis l You must no t rail t,o remi nd

E FARM RE~ ).EV RS

CACHE BUll BOARD i \ ' ALLEY FLORAL I

Br oke, Broke, Broke

.............. Bill McNary ................ Sen. Hagen ·-~~~ leh~~~n,~i-~h~cd~~~~~~' . . ....... ········ N~body's B~siness ~n;~'t.; (md use for an nrt editor, appoint one Jing t or you It only you would pay

Custoclian . nsers .

Board of Se Graft. Clerk •

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S t_u_~ e n t_ L i e s

Miss Do.ncy tha t, social hygiene

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l0 rF~~~ed stay

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Ii~~~ ~~c ~oot lC.tr~~~lv~1li~iu;;~~

You must remember never to talk. to Professor Arnold wi1,houl dragging in something about, ··suo1,le alchemy · or at lea.st w Ever y t.ime a group of st ud ents undertakes t.o do something agr te with him th~t chapel ta lJ:s 1 reall y profe ss ionn l arou n d this In stit ution, so mcl)ody has to kick ~~-us elabom 115°~Y!~~ •9;,t~~~i~ nbou t it. Now , just. because you go t o a one-hori:;e schoo l is no l You must som etime t.ake Pro:,ign you ne ed to kick all t he time. f;~~v~ ~~i:\ ~!:e t~n°w:~ ~~ 1 So, if you don't. like this iss ue, or any other of the bunk issues name of I.he Lotd before a t-~renc h of'Stuclent L ife, Ju:,t 1cmemb c1 t hat ,,e ' 1e not as big as h ars as jcl~u must remember never to you, and 11 ~ou knew a b1gge 1 lie about yom flatermty b1othe r lguest1on MtSS Kyles dictum on than we d ,d, you i:;hollld hav e handed it m ~~erd;1se and p1onunc1at1q_ n o1 ' • ·

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(~o offe n se of cou1 se)

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1-'IIONE

A V E N U

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Reaso~ab ]e Room · and Board

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for COLLEGE STU DENTS J Inquire 351 Nort h 3 East

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ragg ed

UOTICE: TI1e Bankhead reunion has been lnderinltely postpone d and executive committee m~tlngs will sUll be held at school .

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SATISFACTION

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·AI.L OCCASIONS 31 t· i,; 0 E H A L

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r·ound in main hall-One soul.

Que hu mber , Clove r Cead, A ! [, alla, Chlom Form, Tob Akko, dormitory for mal was the one Ora To r v. Ra" Dis h Tom Ateo e. lcomplete social affair or the yeac-.

COMPANY FLOWERS

Gob Judah Is .'iLUI at large, an d I there Is a re~~r his capture.

Double decker lee cr ea m cones ~l~~y~e given away at the dairy ~-

Hey, Ha y ! ·

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The Smith Twins aren't half as smatt as they think they are-In fact. they could n't be .

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The 1ruth Will Out hit

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the Hcry (!rel

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';/1Siro/1 eri~ nc!~rg~t, kc!\~ ;~:1~u~ 1;tt~e~t~l~~: "oral 1 welJ lighLed up even S,11c t.u nd .lolinsons rcput.alion 1 0 11 HEREJ OR THERE-MY LIBRARY ~1 ~: n~°:~~ oro~ !~i) i!~~ ~k~ ~ 19a~~k! ::d go. 1 1;~~dtolet 0 10 Th ere has . been :1 good deal of d isc ussi ~n amon~ _students !snooze. , ·!T h 1 ,u::.ind.;il that w:,11 going ·round lately co~ce.rn~n g t he pl.1cement of the new .hbrary bu tiding. Now pt~~~n~~t\:Jt cfips,~~1 e;y i~~i~~. wo9r~:~:;,ie'1 u1, jusl because they ta.cc

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t~~ j ·r.1,1t~1! ~1~r~t1 s~'i~'.: kE~;ie/h~u~\~:r!h:1~raw1 1 hear t.cd j \::,t;i~· 1~·h :~1;; ;t ~~ ~~:at'i!~1~ Mrd

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t h e 1,ohcy O) f Student L 11,;slo upho ld .my md1v1dual publicly, but we th mk 1t ,,ould nol be a1l\Js1: 1f \\e1e to consult Russell Be1nst 1om in.cl g et hi s conse nt no,, le1:l he tee! hu1t an d 1etuse to at d m t he fmal pl.1cmg Bu t ~t udents , this JS an Agg ie enteip 11se, nnd we ought t o stic k by Ba 1be 1, He1e

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M.v L 1b1a1y

FLETCHER GAII\~S N A TJQNAL RECOGNITlON

Sc~ ! t\nust be a kmd Ch11suan and occasionally listen ,11 the :w tul things I heard ~hll:;1~::1~; ~~r~lg~ 0 fr~: e\ ~:! , ,~ J the\ Joined the Sigma Chi th o you long for a couple or An,! veol)le s,1) I "oncter wh} mches of lead p ipe 11und 1qwt to 0rilha for protection You must n e\er talk the oppo• r11~, sn lt len t real 11rtect!on 1 1 1r1~1~:1\.~o~~ ~~.; ~~1~ !~1s

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unen d1uable c!~~li~~f:t ~~s fo~~;io~n!e~~l~;!~ !profound kno\\l edge of the Stll·

LIBRARY SITE DECIDE D

~\:\:11~sl ,~1:f 1\~o:::~~ree~:fhoenye C\o t so m n, looting Thelaa 1

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Creative mt wa s given a new meanin g when Calvin Fletcher' s de~~mbog1~t regularly tell Rulon j ~~~· [~r.t ~'.~: ~~1to;.~H go soon too 1 k1test painting, .;The Asc ensio_n of fo_u'.· Xu d~s, " ~\·as_ rec ently (~~!k ef0 / 10;; 8 11~~~:aicou ln a~i~i~;~ : 1~~~~:: '))~ ~t~~ u~·ll'. do 11 so ld for t en tho u sa n d cloll2r::::. :-:ote d cntic s prn1se d 1t highly. dan cing with a class or girls. .

Pr!ss) Prye. .. How abstract."

And, having observed all th e:;t? ~ litt\ e thJngs as well as many_ moi-c ;.So sponta neo us. " besides, t he Angels will smg-a,; , ·.

1 ,;Such organization."

Ung ror yo~~· • ··--· _'r · • 0 ~;;~;

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'' W h:i.t h idde n meanin g."

And th us it was highl y pra},3ed lhro ughout the a rt world.

Calvin got on a ben der the othef· night and told Us just how he painte d it. He tied a feathe r duster to a dog's tnil. Th e feathers were di pped in barbe r-pole paint, and as the dog wagged its tail the duster dobbed up t he cmwns.

The sub ject for the next day ·s d iscussio n was: a painting is a repr esenta tion of the artist'::; brain s hung on the wall.

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ArnoId(OllfesSeS I

1 : eh~ \~~1e~isF;!!1:n!i· 10~r~ ; 1~~~d lnsnuctor In dancing to the ~ t~1ne~[ ~~rui~eseff ~1it f{ ~~e n~ these years he has advocat ~ 11~!t'.!~ ~t.sor sc~~e~~ga~\~~i ~~~ 1

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TE I.LS STORY OF SUCCESS

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\Continued from Page One ) when tho building Is completed. the exterior will be 111\g htlr the b.rger. ll w,1e ,1nnounced last night that :\liss lluttle Srnlth. JJreeent llbro.r!an ut the college. hnd been chose.n by l'resl 1 !cnt li.oover to 00 his private !<o.;l'rct.,:ry, Such befng t he case. the lihrary rornm!ttee !ms decided to have r;Jen Worthingto n's shirt start henceforth ut eight o'clock In the morning r llwr t h:111at sc,·en o'clock at night . :\lr. \\·orthington m.iy be found at his !.im!t-11.-.. at 261 F;;1st 3rd North be:w, :1 lh" hours of tc-n and t<'·clH II.Ill. by l,1:s llldUY fri.,uds who wish to ,ong r"tuht!e him.

,co ntinue d from Page One ) bert. Simpson Flamm glves proof or his gre at ability in the tollowlng suggestions for better ing th e ··c ow Testers .Complaint" durin g his sway as editor: To charge the Cow Testers Association t he sum ot 2 ½c (two a nd and one-half cents) an isBroke! Broke! Broke! sue !or publishing the ·•compla! nt." since the editor is really (with apologle& to Tennyson) under paid and should receive It , 1·ollcgelad ,compensation In proportion to the efforts expended. \\'Ith n sou! hal!·mad For th<' light of a ludy's em!le To place the paper In the Would walk a mile hands or the English Cow Test In worn out shoes ers at 10:5~½ p. m. Thursday And lose night In order that they may !Ile \leJce of• m ind digest t,he Jokes and prepare to Sane womau, sans song, sans wiue enjoy them.

I n ·a lly hate To provide more space for a To think or the p,oor fool's fate bunk column and to place It on With a body sore the rront page, since all the Cow From the night be(ore the !!t~ers read Is the Jokes, any . ll e·d better fold his tent llke Arabs do And drift right out of school For alas!

ELECTION SECRETS POOT bloke He'll be broke, llrokc. broke!

EXPLAIN ALL

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he ha s t he Interests of the girls at heart and tho.t h is queer attitude ln the pa st has been due to his psychology or women. which Is in part. that Jr you make a woman feel you do not want her, she ls sure t.o come to

yo~roressor Arnold has always had an unusually large regis tr ation or co•eds In his clns.ses. He Is to be presented with a sterling silver ten set by the Cnche and Logan Stak e Reller Societies upon his departure as a slight token or appr eciation for his he lpful suggestions on conduct of coJlcge gir ls._ ,._ __

-_ HY RUM ~J ID EPA RT MENT ---♦

NO NEWS

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News has reached ~s that the only reason Joe Cowley lost hl.3 election was due to the Incomparable brotherly love between Gamma Kappa and Salt Lak e Beta Epsilon chapters of Sigma Chi. Th e local bret.hern ,atte r look.Ing over campa.lgn contracts. counted on two hundred superflous votC\5. whlch t.hey sent to therl worthy brethern in Salt Lake. Now, the question ls, will they be used tn either place?

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DE PA RT MEN T

Foot Note- This is harder on me th an it is on

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NO NEWS

Home Ee. Major .

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I The Delta Nu Affaire

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a11oduauuu11 anU.J.\V JU1>3:) 0lt (a San,lburglan outburst) uon1?possv I Th,•)' tell mt! you are wicked a nd I as,pu'l!lp .1,lJ\j s.1aw nsuoo l belhi\'e them. tor I lrn••e seen your 11tlck• lrnired 111 nlee under the br!ght l!ghte luring the farlll ·paJJnboJ 1uaw girls. ·1Sil,\Ui ON "U0J1UWJ0JUJJaq1JnJ lOJ Sn 0lJ.lM .8ttJll1/t\ ilJU no.-t I ht•y t\'11 me you ure artful lllld ll\Y JI "}IJUWaq1 il)!UlU01 P.1'\llj ){.JO,\\ rt·plr 111:I have seen you enter Ol <IAU \I no6- uoi,u:>npa JaqilJtt the De.111·11tea-room und como out ->){II .l:!dtU\S S,11 iMOq s,aJat t puy laui:h!ug, ·omn:s 01 ootS tuo.1J ilu1iluUJ swns l!Uj){Utu J31JU l[UJ atn UJ 1001ps 1.:1ui:: hlug 1111 " young man laugll!i 01 pau.1n10.1 puu tuaJqOJd am~ <1111 11h t'II )0uth lms lrnd tte turn . pa:rnJ 3A\JII ·uatu Sa[t.'S Ji>Wwns .1no

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:-:.-1,,, 11~ the mntluce•goer11. with ~s~u~~~p;~:JJI~~~~~ .1!~i~~f~~~

~~~,~~:~& sl!il! !,\1fhtor 11t·t lou, tho :;~~~u!~~~~ air& 1!01ln\!gl1ure-.

Mennlngle~'t r ro8S•(] 11 est lons

Ye Editor

This Means You

~1~~kl ~~ 6/i\ JOdo~~pd_~Ji .14~ ~ ~~ 8 1 6\J.\\ Jt\o,{ llttJUJll0 ,)JU l\OA JI

A\ Off

.-~_,___,-~ REAL REP AIRING Good as NewComfortab le. Too ,v om en make a great mistake it1 discarding shoes tha t are rnu do wn at the heel-that show a little wear at the toe of the sole, or develop other m inor defects that are easily repaired. We do expert shoe repairing .and make old shoes look as good ·as a new pair.

You will find them just as comfortable as t he y ever were.

GOODYEAR SHOE REP AIRI NG CO. 77 North Main St. Next to Royal Shoe Shine Parlor

.......a1auSl113 1opads•11a'U

St ud e nt

HEY! HAY!

Lies

Page 3

BUG LECALL

Elmer Jeppso n New Candidate For Bishop

&atSe~ds 'n 'alt.I

Pa e 4 'fhe Footba ll ga me with N . Y. U. has bee n indefinitely 1>o st 1>oned.

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S tud e_nt

-Aggi e Snorts-

Aggie Tracksters -@-

Joe

Lies Ail interested in Domino I Tournament sign in A. , W. S. Rest Room.

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Win Moral Victory Over B ..Y. u.

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w. S.

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Tr ack Team

boyleana:,hawStar

ED ,: A WALLAC E HOPPER Recen tly AJ>pointecl Em pir e for the Intra-Mu ral Baseball Series