Understanding Grief and Loss: Guide for Faculty & Staff

Guide for Faculty & Staff

213-740-9355 (WELL) 213-740-9355 (WELL)

Understanding Understanding Grief Grief and and Loss Loss

for those provide guidance, for who those who provide guidance,mentoring, mentoring, and assistance to USCstudents. students supportsupport and assistance to USC

As faculty and staff, your influence shapes much of our students’ experiences at the university.

Many have for asked for guidance to respond our students’ needsthere whenare there areoftimes of have asked guidance on howontohow respond to our to students’ needs when times distress distress in our campus community. The following information, reviewed by Counseling and Mental Health Services in USC Student Health (clinical faculty in the Department of Psychiatry and Services in Sciences, USC Student faculty the Department Psychiatry Behavioral Behavioral KeckHealth School(clinical of Medicine of in USC) may provide of some insight and in recognizing common and responding supportively in those moments.

Sciences, expressions Keck Schoolofofgrief, Medicine of USC) may provide some insight in recognizing common expressions of grief, and responding supportively in those moments.

What we learn from the Stages of Grief model

1. Denial and Isolation: The first reaction is to deny What we learn the Stages Grief model the reality of thefrom situation.

Manyofpeople rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is what helps to buffer the 1. Denial and Isolation: immediate shock.

This is a response that carries us the reality of the Many people rationalize through the first situation. wave of pain.

2. Anger: Reality and its pain emerge yet we may not be ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected, expressed instead 2. Anger: Reality and its pain and emerge yet we may not as anger. vulnerable core, redirected, and expressed instead as

3.

Bargaining: The normal reaction to feelings of anger. helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to 3. Bargaining: regain control– We may make a deal with God or our helplessness vulnerability often a need regain higher powerand in an attempt toispostpone the to inevitable. control– makeusa from deal with God orreality. our higher This helpsWe tomay protect the painful helps to protect us the painful 4.

Depression: It isfrom helpful to focusreality. on what we can control and let It goisofhelpful what we cannot.

Expend 4. Depression: to focus on what we energy can on changing your coping skills, increase problem control and let go of what we cannot. Expend enersolving skills and increase Alongproblem with gy on changing your copingsupport. skills, increase feeling sadness, may also experience solving intense skills and increasewe support.

Along with feeling worry, regret, fear, and uncertainty. intense sadness, we may also experience worry, regret, fear, and uncertainty.

5. Acceptance: This is different from feeling “good” 5. Acceptance: or “ok” about the loss. Most people don’t ever feel or the to loss.

Mostthis people everand feeladjust OK OK“ok” but about we learn accept newdon’t reality but we learn to accept this new reality and adjust the the changes that may go along with the loss. This stage comes with time, is a process and as we move comes with time, is a process and as we move through through the loss with coping skills and support we the loss with coping skills and support we can achieve can achieve this stage. Self-compassion and this stage. Self-compassion and kindness, patience kindness, patience from others is helpful when from others is helpful when striving for this goal. striving for this goal.

What are some common reactions?

Emotions: Sadness; anger/ irritability; fear; guilt;

What are loneliness; some common reactions? shock; yearning; anxiety; helplessness;

relief; numbness.

Emotions: Sadness; anger/ irritability; fear; guilt; anxiety; loneliness; yearning; relief; numbness.

Physical helplessness; Sensations:shock; Hollowness in stomach;

tightness in chest; tightness in throat; sensitivity to Physical Sensations: Hollowness in stomach; tightness of depersonalization, isn’t sense real;”of innoise; chest;sense tightness in throat; sensitivity“this to noise; breathlessness; weakness in muscles; lack of de-personalization, “this isn’t real;” breathlessness;energy. weakness in muscles; lack of energy.

Cognitions: Fatigue; disbelief; confusion;

Cognitions: Fatigue; disbelief; confusion; preoccupation; preoccupation; sense of presence; hallucinations. sense of presence; hallucinations.

Behaviors: Sleep disturbance; appetite changes; Behaviors: Sleep disturbance; appetite changes; ababsent-minded behavior; withdrawal; dreams sent-minded behavior; socialsocial withdrawal; dreams of of deceased; avoiding reminders of deceased; restless deceased; avoiding reminders of deceased; restless hyperhyper- activity; difficulties concentrating; crying.

Goalstotomove move toward during grieving Goals toward during grieving People may in out andofout of phases People may cyclecycle in and phases as they...as they...

• Process feelings • Process feelings

•• Make adjustments in order to cope, thrive Make adjustments in order to cope, thrive

•• Accept thereality realityand andintegrate integrate memories Accept the memories andand past into the thepresent present past into

November 2019

October 2023

A Note on Traumatic Grief A Note on Traumatic Grief A sudden, unexpected loss may not only activate a grief response, but may a traumatic A sudden, unexpected lossalso maytrigger not only activate a grief grief response.

When the death is violent, such as response, but may also trigger a traumatic grief from a homicide, suicide, accident, response.

When the deathoverdose is violent,or such as fromaa person could experience overwhelming emotions homicide, suicide, overdose or accident, a person could related to that loss. It is important to recognize experience overwhelming emotions related to thatthe loss. difference between a normal grief response and a traumatic grief response. normal grief response and a traumatic grief response.

A normal grief response has a range of emotions

A normal grief response has a range of emotions and behaviors. The grieving person will feel sadness, confusion, longing or wishing things could have ended confusion, longing or wishing things could have ended differently, difficulty sleeping, change in eating terns, etc., as described in the previous section. patterns, etc., as described in the previous section.

Traumatic grief is more complicated, but has more Traumatic grief is more complicated, but has more ral grief process.

As the person mourns the loss, they conflicted feelings that can interfere with the natural visualize the details the traumatic and re-exgrief process.

As theofperson mournsevent the loss, they

visualize the details of the traumatic event and and they push it out of their mind. But this makes the re-experience it. That becomes overwhelming to grief process longer as the person goes back and forth person and they push it out of their mind. But this makes the grief process longer as the person goes person can become stuck in processing of their grief back and forth mourning then pushing the traumatic and experience debilitating feelings of loss of safety, details away. The person can become stuck in trust and control. processing of their grief and experience debilitating Not all grief is traumatic, all traumatic experifeelings of loss of safety,but trust and control. ences include grief responses that are normal and natural.

Helping people to recognize that what they Not all grief is traumatic, but all traumatic are feeling is “normal” veryresponses helpful as the person experiences include isgrief that are moves through the grief process. normal and natural. Helping people to recognize

SHAPING OUR RESPONSES SHAPING OUR RESPONSES What we learn from the Trauma-Informed Approach What we learn from theshape Trauma-Informed to Care—how we can our responsesApproach to support impacted trauma tothose Care—how webycan shape our responses to support those impacted by trauma A trauma informed response to grief requires a helpsresponse the person re-build a sense Aprocess trauma that informed to to grief requires a of safety, their life. process thattrust helpsand thecontrol person over to re-build a sense of safety, trust and control over their life.

Using active listening skills and empathy is a way toactive increase feelings of safety, trust andis a Using listening skills and empathy control.

That means not giving advice, not judging, way to increase feelings of safety, trust and conreflecting back to the person what you heard trol. That means not giving advice, not judging,for clarity, beback reassuring and supportive.

By providing reflecting to the person what you heard for that safe place for someone to talk, helps to build clarity, be reassuring and supportive. By providing the safe senseplace of trust. that for someone to talk, helps to build the sense of trust.

Building safety and trust helps the grieving person to re-gain some control over their feelings.

Building safety and trust helps the grieving Giving them information about the grief process, person to re-gain some control over their feelings. normalizing their feelings, and providing Giving them information about griefthe process, resources/referrals, gives thatthe person tools to normalizing their feelings, and providing resourcmake decisions which in turn increases their sense es/referrals, gives thatlives. person the tools to make of control over their decisions which in turn increases their sense of control over their lives.

Empowering them by discussing their options and supporting their choices continues to build a Empowering them by discussing their options sense of control. and supporting their choices continues to build a sense of control.

that what they are feeling is “normal” is very helpful as the person moves through the grief process.

Campus Resources Campus Resources

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