Is your lover making you breathless? Or leaving you gasping for air?
Think through the difference. 1
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ROUGH SEX
POWER
If your lover is initiating choking or any other rough sex, have you consented? Do you have a way of signaling it’s too much?
Are you ceding control or power with full consent and trust in the other person? Or do you feel you need to please your partner, ahead of your own feelings?
Safe words, tapping or moving their hand(s) away should signal a clear stop.
If there is any doubt about your willingness to participate, reconsider this power dynamic.
Sex play should always be continuously consensual.
Your life could literally be in this person’s hands.
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NO SAFE WAY TO PLAY There are zero “safe ways“ to do choking sex play. None. A partner cannot be trained to “spot” when someone is losing consciousness, cutting off a dangerous amount of oxygen, or experiencing other life-threatening harm.
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NO BRUISES, NO PROBLEMS?
MEDICAL CARE If you have any memory, vision, personality changes, swallowing or motor difficulties, or other physical, cognitive, or sudden behavioral changes, seek immediate medical care.
Choking may not leave the kind of physical marks that other rough play does, but that doesn’t mean there’s less damage. Airway damage and brain injury from oxygen loss can take days to appear.
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CONFIDENTIAL ADVOCATES Need someone to talk with? A confidential advocate can help you talk things through, and connect you with resources for help. Available 24/7 by calling 213-740-9355 (WELL)
SITES.USC.EDU/CLIENTSERVICES