SMOKE&
fJani~lswill btlhg a\llapp~ ¥ij,J;e.
t? any cigarett~ .smoker on . your '~fittol:tS ···l dte$se8 up .in a handso as design with a ·d'' <'llighiJ>nt(;lp, Remember: lfore people are 'smol\ing Clamelsthan
SMOKING TOBACCO
Prince Albert Smoking Tobacco - for pipes or roll-your-own cigarettes-is America's biggestselling tobacco. Smokers know it as the National Joy Smoke because it's so rich tasting, so mild and easy on the tongue. You'll enjoy giving Prince Albert-in the colorful Christmas-wrapped one-pound tin.
R. J Rey nolds Tobacco Company, Win sto n -Si,,lem, North Carollnk
1/Yesthampton College Editor
PEGGY HARRIS
Assistant 1/Yesthampton Editor
DOROTHY TOOLE
Feature Editors
KENNY BUTLER
E ll en Largent
Hannah Barlow
Tommy White
Published
Ann Wiley
Walt Mahon
Joyce Parrish
Editor-in-Chief
PAT VELENOVSKY
Law School Editor
ALBERT RUSSINOFF
Art Editor
JIMMY 13AN~S
Assistant Art Editor
SETH DARROW
Exchange Editor
WALLY McGRAW
Art Staff
F.ditorial Staff
Char les Wilson
Jim Payne
Elizabeth Webb
Acting Richmond College Editor
FRANK WENTZEL
Poetry Editor
MI MI THALENBERG
Fiction Editors
WILMA LUM
WILBUR THOMAS
Fred Wilson
Don Wilson
Flora Jeanne Zbar
Member Virginia
Teace 0n Earth
]FUNDAMENTALLY we haven't changed much in the last twenty centuries although we like to think we have. Most of the same problems that existed in Jerusalem when Christ was born still exist now . Even the housing problem was the same, and they had the same theme for Christmas, "Peace on Earth " They were lookin g for an enduring peace , but they sought it in the wrong quarter, just as some nations do today Th eir political and national interest s always came first. We often want peace and prosperity at the expense of someone else, and we fail to realize that when we acquire material possessions unjustly we make life harder for ourselves and for others On the othe r hand, spiritual gains bring prosperity for all and prosperity, in turn, brings peace and harmony. We all know this but we forget , and it remains for Christmas to remind us each year. Hugh White has said, "Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed The future is yet in your power." With this in mind, as the holiday season approaches, everyone vows that this Christmas is going to be a " special " one because everyone is going to turn over a new leaf and really get down to "brass tacks " about this peace-on-earth business I suppose that the reason we feel each Christmas is going to be a special one is because from one Christmas to the next we grow one year older and we reason that that should make us one year wiser. We're wiser all right-so wise that we've at last found a formula that has the power to destroy the world that we ' ve been trying for so many years to find a way to save.
It seems ironical that in trying to perfect our world so that it will be a better place in which to live, we have become so industrialized, and , as a consequence, so worldly and hurried that we are fast losing sight of the real significance of the one thing that may save us since it is universal.
Some individuals don't believe in the spiritual law or that it is possible for all men ·to live harmoniously together. Sometimes I think that if we were only a little less intelligent that that would be the answer because little children who have not yet acquired the precious wisdom of their elders hold no malice toward their fell ow beings. And little children alone these days get the thrill
out of Christmas that in olden times everyone shared. I know you've heard many people sayand well-meaning people too- " Oh, Christm as is for children." I can't think of anything th at makes me any madder or any sadder. If Christm as is just for children, if only children are entitl ed to dreams, then I would pray that none of us were ever so unfortunate as to grow into the dreamless state of manhood and womanho od.
" And a little child shall lead them" - I won der if that is the piece of the crossword puzzle th at we 've been trying to fit into place all this time?
Wouldn ' t it be strange if the answer had been right under our very noses and yet we had gro wn too "wise" for such a simple solution, too skeptical , too intelligent to believe anything we could not see and touch, too mature for dreams, too grown up for childlike faith
But even if we have to grow up and relinqu ish the carefreeness of youth for the stern realitie s of the daily struggle , why do we have to lose sight of the fact that real happiness consists not of mate rial things , that the most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see? Love is such an intangible. You can ' t see it and you can 't touch it , and yet it is so powerful that it alone can overcome hate, and even the strongest skeptics would hold on to it. Walter Winchell asked everyone to put on their uniforms December 7 to remind the pe ople that we must keep the peac e or face another horde of armed uniformed men with grim determined faces But since love is stron ger than hate, why can't we determine to accomplish the same purpose through love instead of fear? Instead of uniformed men on December 7, why can ' t we try especially hard to make this entire pre-Christmas season and Christmas Day the most special of all time? And if the good fell owship and happiness that naturally fills our heart s at that time hasn't accomplished its purpose by the end of Christmas Day , then let's declare a year l ong Christmas season or however long it takes. And then some day we ' ll come to a Christmas that's special in that it'll be a day of Thanksgiving instead of just hope-a day of Thanksgiving that the theme , "Peace on earth, good will toward men" is a reality instead of just a dream P. H. [2]
Comment
Out of the Messenger Bag
We hope you like the cover by Jimmy Banks. T he jack-in-the-box is a true copy of a young man on the campus-diabolical expression and all.
-Have fun-
W e wonder
Can anyone tell us why the flagpole beside the Administration Building stands empty? A flag would look good on it. After all, it was put there for that purpose.
- Merry Christmas -
It is
Twice a year this campus is just about as beautiful as any campus can be. It manages to do this even while handicapped by the Playhouse, Student Shop, the Barracks, and the Faculty Bu~lding. Anyone who has walked tl1is campus dunng the fall months to feast upon the gorgeous colors of the landscape and the so£t rolling contours of the land knows whereof I speak. And if you have strolled along by the lake on a spring evening, you will never forget the breath-taking beauty of the haze rising across the lake; the muted colors blendmg
- f ,ngle Bells -
The Story o~
C hristmasSeals
T he Christmas Seal is an immigrant that became a good American. A brain child of Einar Holboell, a Da nish postal clerk, it came to America in_1907 • Hol boell conceived the idea that every Christmas letter should carry a seal showing the mailer's contribution to the fight against tuberculosis
Social worker, Jacob Riis, whose father owned • the Ri chmond News Leader, wrote a story about the Danish seal in "The Outlook." Red Cross worker Emily P. Bissell of Wilmington, Delaware, decided to try out Holboell's idea. She sold the first American seal in 1907 in Delaware.
In 1908 the American Red Cross sponsored the
into the sky; and the feeling of romance which pervades the air.
-Happy New Year-
College Daze
It seems a shame that one must wait until the last year in college to enjoy it fully. Perhaps things would be different if more professors would find out what others already know-students are human beings; and, this is college, not high school.
- f ingle Bells -
Nice to See
The new dormitory seems to be due for an end soon. Wonder how Thomas Hall will feel with men in it again? Many old grads have not yet recovered from the shock of finding that the scene of some of the finest water battles in the history of Richmond College had fallen into the hands of women.
- Christmas Greetings -
Just a Question
.
Why isn't anyone in favor of changmg the name "Spiders" to something better?
- Happy Y11letide-
first nation-wide sale, turning the proceeds over to the young and struggling National Tuberculosis Association.
In 1919 the Christmas Seal carried for the first time the red Doubled Barred Cross.
Christmas Seals
Your Protection Against Tuberculosi,
In 1920 the Red Cross turned over the sale of seals to the National Tuberculosis Association and to its state associations which, in turn, issue contracts to their local associations, upon proper qualifications as to the community program.
Ninety-five cents out of every Seal Sale dollar stays within the state in which it was raised. Five cents supports services of the National Tuberculosis Association .
- Yuletide Greetings[ 3}
By WALTHER B. FIDLER
A native of the Northern N eck of Virginia, Walther Fidler received his B.A. from Randolph-Macon College in 194 4 ; served in th e Navy as a Lieutenant (j.g.); and is now a second-year student at th e T. C. William s School of Law ,
WITH the end of the recent war and the return of the nation to a state of reasonable normalcy , more and more young blades have been contemplating matrimony . Such being the popular state of mind, w hispered promises to marry have become not at all uncommon. Often, however, a vow rashly made is later regretted and the erstwhile promisor is faced with a dilemma, for, aside from the pressure of society, the law has its own formula for " heartbreakers," viz., the " Breach of Promise Suit, " as it is called in the theater. The purpose of this article is to afford a "horseback view " of the promise to marry and its ensuing liabilities, along with a few suggested lines of defense to those persons who may want to retreat.
Since mutual promises to marry create a civil contract similar to one for the sale and purchase of goods, failure of one of the parties to perform his part of the bargain constitutes a breach of contract for which the injured party may recover a sum of money to compensate for the damages sustained. In addition to these compensatory damages, punitive damages may also be obtained, as in an old Virginia case where the promisor, there a woman , was required to con£ess her sins in church for several suc;:cessiveSundays. For obvious reasons, the courts refused to force the parties to perform the contract.
[ 1\.lthough either the man or woman may in a given case be the cad, for purposes of simplicity in all examples used, it will be assumed hereafter that the male was in default. J
A valid contract to marry tequires parties competent to enter into such an agreement, but this is presumed by the courts unless denied by one of the parties; that is, the mere fact that a man did agree · to marry is not considered an indication of mental
deficiency . This competency refers to age, ment al , and physical capacity . For example, the promi se of an individual under 17 ( in Virginia) to marr y is riot binding, but its obligation can be avoid ed only by the one not of age . Nor is one requir ed to be a muscular giant in order to rriarry, the on ly requirement being that of general physical capacity sufficient to fulfill the more worldly aspects of the relationship . Almost by definition, there are rarely any witnesses to engagement promises , since the love birds usually prefer to do their planning in an atm osphere of romance and that precludes the presen ce of listeners For this reason , the problem of pro of is great and the promise , in most cases, must be inferred from the behavior of the parties and other circumstances. This very point is often the Waterloo of the wronged woman who cannot , by her own telling , convince the jury of the fact that a promise was made . Theoretically , however, the existence of the engagement may be proved by direct or indire ct evidence of such facts that may lead to a reasonable inference of such engagem ent. Therefore, intimate and frequent visitations h ave been found to be grounds for implying the existence of the contract. Als o conduct on the p art of the man , either acts or words, which leads the woman to believe that sh e is engaged and causes her to act on that basis to his knowledge is generally considered enough to warrant the presu mption of a marriage promise This matter of conduct can be , and often is, the source of much embarrassment to the fleeing male; as the courts pu t it, silence under such circumstances that would make a reasonable man shout hearty denials ma y be taken as an admission of truth. Hence , when the couple are seated in a room with several ot her people and the girl lovingly announces to the masses that she and the man on her left are engaged to be married Christmas Day, that is the time for him to jump up and denounce her as a prevaricator; otherwise, the jury might well find that he agreed with her statement. Of similar use are letters and other correspondence which are universally used in court to establish the fact that someone is attempting to welsh.
Ordinarily in the trial of a case, opinion of lay[4]
rnen is not permitted, but a breach of promise case is clearly an exception to the general rule. There, the opinion of onlookers as to the love that the complainant has for her beau, the grief and anxiety which she suffered on learning of his breach of the promise, and even opinions as to the amount of damages she has sustained are admissible.
Under a statute which, in one form or another, ha s been enacted in nearly every state, there is a section requiring that certain types of contracts be in writing. One such instance is that of a contract which is not to be performed within a year. Of course, there need not be any legalistic phrases for the agreement to be binding, but some sort of wr itten memorandum signed by the party to be charged is of the essence in this sort of case. Helpfu l though this provision might seem to would-be bounders, the memorandum need not have been made at the same time as the promise; hence, as one case decided, a notation entered in a diary some time after the fateful evening met the requirements of the statute. It should be noted, by way of admonition, that the courts are strict in the matter of deciding whether a particular promise can be performed within the year. That is to say, if there is any possibility of such an eventuali ty, the promise need not be in writing.
The promise itself is not usually all-inclusive in na ture; because of this narrowness of scope, the time, place, and manner of performance of the contract have often caused the courts much concern Where the time is fixed, no act or request on the part of the girl is necessary in order to put the man in "default"; by this is meant that if the pair have set "Two o'clock next Sunday afternoon" for the wedding, he had better be at the altar with her, or else. She does not have to send a car for him.
The place of residence of the woman is, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, presumed to be the place of marriage when the contract is silent on that point. Where the couple agree to be married in accordance with the rules of a particular church, those rules are considered part of the marriage contract. Some courts, however, are reluctant to apply the law as to time and place too severely, as is evidenced by the case where the "defendant" ( th e fellow being sued) because of too-heavy celebration and its usual incidents, failed to appear at the place set but turned up at the wrong church at the right time. There, the woman's case was thrown out of court for failure to notify him be-
[5]
fore bringing suit. Furthermore, either party has a right to reasonable delay for good cause; by virtue of this rule, a request for postponement of the ceremony does not necessarily amount to a breach.
The law, in general, is that failure to disclose a material fact when a duty to do so exists constitutes fraud. It follows, then, that if the woman was guilty of such concealment, her swain would not be liable for breaking his promise to marry. There is, however, no necessity of disclosing peculiarities regarding oneself or one's family. For instance, the fact that one drinks, has a parent in jail, has had a divorce in the family, snores, or spoils the decor of the breakfast table by reading the morning paper is not material. Further, answers to questions about one's family, while they must be true, need not contain the whole truth; particularly is this so in the matter of the wealth of the family or their country-club affiliations.
An exception to the above general rule in this country does require the woman to disclose voluntarily the fact of prior unchastity. Where she fails to do this or is a bad girl during the engagement period, her fiance has the right of renunciation. Because the law is "man-made" ( as opposed to canons set forth by females) there is no corresponding obligation on the part of the male and he may make the most of his freedom until the last moment. One need not reveal the story of any past marriages which came to an end one way or another. But, if the marital status is doubtful, e.g., where the other spouse has taken an indefinite powder and has not been heard from for some time, then the full facts must be told; for if she is married at the time she accepted his offer of marriage he can leave her without fear of legal retribution ..
Having seen a broad picture of the promise and the hot water into which one may fall by breaking it, it might be well to note at this point several tried and true methods of escaping liability. If, of course, the damsel has delayed too long from the time the promise was broken, she might just as well forget about suing, because the Statute of Limitations ( a terrific obstacle to procrastinators) will force the court to send her home empty-handed. Assuming, though, that the disgruntled one has not been too lackadaisical in this respect and has pressed her claim seasonably, there are still other exits, to wit:
One may repudiate an agreement to marry
when, after making the contract, he becomes afflicted with a horrible disease which might be communicated to his spouse by too-close relations. Also, if a man is stricken with a fatal and incurable malady such that the per£ ection of the marriage would hasten his death greatly, he is not bound to perform his promise. In addition, this holds true where the malady is of such a character that he cannot enter into the marriage relation and receive all of its benefits, e.g., sudden impotency. Further, if just before the bells are due to ring, the near-groom finds that he has only a short time to live, he will not be compelled to spend his last hours on a honeymoon trip. Finally, if the unlucky devil, when hauled into court , can show that the maiden has given him a clear " release" from the
contract, either by acts or in so many words, he is completely exonerated. There are, of course, oth er possible means of getting out from under, but these will not be mentioned for fear that th is article might be misconstrued.
Despite the fact that there seem to be ma ny loopholes through which fickle individuals may avoid their just punishment for the despicab le practice discussed here, it might be advisable to note that most of the so-called defenses are har dly of the type to be desired. For that reason, the wise path to pursue is that of caution from the beginning, or, in other words, sponsa/ia per verba de futuro cum m enturn reum ma/ a est , which fre ely construed stands for the proposition that if you don ' t mean it, don't say it!
- H app y New Y ear -
@
A Burned Child Sometimes Loves the Fire
He said he loved me , took my heart
And broke it sharply into two , i Leaving me the jagged edges if()- When romance was finally through. if()-
With one love flown, I found another , i Who split the half in half again, ' Leaving me a meager quarter And a marked distaste for men .
Now that I've aged and grown more wise , i Would I do what in youth I did? Risk my heart ?-Why you' re darn too tin ' if()- I still have that quarter, kid ! if()if()i .
if()'
rite Promised£and?
WE Americans have a remarkable facility for championing this cause or that cause , which is indicative of our humane and gen ero us nature . Unfortunately, however , we often know few of the facts surrounding these "causes " and di ve blindly into a sea of stormy waters, fa r too m uddy and turbulent to permit our perceiving their true depth. For months now, we have been able to read each day in our newspapers , if we have b ut taken the time, of the sorry plight of the Europ ean Jews in their frustrated attempts to enter Palestine. ·
Being a Christian nation, we have read our Bibles, a t least scantily , and we recall having learne d that Palestine was the home of the Jew, but do es that make it his rightful home now? For nearly 2,000 years, the total population of this small and poor country has been almost entirely Arab . It is natural, then, that they should resent this suddenly increased influx of a people, not only foreig n in customs and living habits, but in race and in religion also. You will note that I have said an " increased influx." Few of us realize that this im migration of the Jews into Palestine began shortly a fter 1918, when Great Britain assumed the r ig ht " to give away Arab land for a ' national home ' " to a foreign people The entire blame cannot be placed upon Britain, however, since we were n early as responsible as they. America approved the Balfour Declaration in 1922 before it was even set forth in its final form. Although th e Arabs w ere annoyed by these developments in which they had been allowed little say, they displayed no great alarm, for at that time there could be seen little possible danger in this gradual increase in population In fact, the number of Zionists leaving Palestine almost equaled the number which entered. With the coming of Hitler, the picture began to reshape itself and these terrorized people began to flee to the country that the democratic n ations of the world had declared open to them.
'!f e must attempt to discover now whether or not these Jews who are accustomed to Western European culture and civilization wish to be transported to this small, torrid land , where the urban life which they have always led is an uncommon thing. Is it not logical to assume that these people , who have long been imprisoned within barbedwire fences, would long to return to their own countries and homes? Well , all we can do is assume, for Zionist forces do not permit free expression among these Jews. There are cases where those who have been brave enough to express their desires have been beaten and severely punished by these Zionists, who seem to have learned much from the Nazi terrorists.
We Americans must answer to the fact that money, contributed by well-meaning groups in this country, has gone to buy ammunition which has been used by the Zionists to kill British soldiers , our allies, the Arabs, our friends, and in many cases our own officials It is our money which is used to hi r e the ships which illegally make their way toward Palestine , carrying hundreds of oppressed and homeless people , starving for the life of normal individuals . Could not this money be better spent in setting up propaganda machines of our own, urging the admission of Jews into other countries which could better accommodate them , or in sending investigators to study the situation more carefully?
This is an important and vital issue in the world today, and n o single group is completely at fault This matter is one into which we all should look further. The future of a country on one hand, and the happiness of a people on the other, are both at stake It is up to us, as the future ruling generation of the most powerful and wealthy nation the world has ever known, to help do something about it.
JOYCE PARRISH.
LEGEND
STILL they tell it ,· though it happened a long time ago when the mountain was young and the people did not know of the great world beyond. It happened on Christmas Eve, this miracle, and because the miracle happened to their own people , they still hold it in their hearts. In the long winter evenings, when the men huddle around the pot-bellied stove in Jake Dillow's general store, they tell it , and after the telling, they nurse their pipes silently , thinking. And in the summer, when the women go up to Buzzard's Knob to pick huckleberries , they tell it softly to each other. They tell it to their children, and they tell it to the newcomers.
No one ever knew how the feud started between the Pennells and the Wilts, least of all the Pennells and the Wilts themselves. But between them , as far back as anyone could remember, there had been only ill will. The Wilt farm joined the Pennell land down in the hollow, and only a little stream separated the Pennell cornfield from the Wilt pasture. Ole man Pennell and his tall, brawny sons would plow their field, and Charley Wilt would mend his pasture fence, and nary a word would pass between them. The time that the Pennell smokehouse burned , the Wilts sat rocking on their porch and watched the blaze 'way across the hollow , never lifting a hand to help . And by the same token, when ole man Pennell' s wagon lodged in the muck of the spring thaw, Charley Wilt had driven past with eyes only for the road. Their children did not play together but threw rocks and taunts at each other.
On Sundays, when the sound of the church bells made merry the valleys and the rills, Charley and Mol Wilt would march to their pew on the left
of the minister , and after them trekked their little brood of eight, from the sweet-lipped Lucy to the baby, Benny , who held her hand. Then the door would open, and ole man Pennell and his wife, Marthy, and their ten sons and their wives and children-for all were married but Tom , the youngest-would parade down the aisle to fill the .first six rows on the minister's right. Shoul d the kindly Reverend McLoud, surveying this array from his pulpit, choose as his text that verse, "Love thine enemies as thyself ," the Pen nells. preening themselves with pride , would take into consideration that there were no Wilts whe n the good Lord said that. And the Wilts settled back knowing that the God of Hosts didn ' t mean folks like the onery Pennells.
That was the way it was with them and h ad always been, ever since there were Pennell s and Wilts and the mountains
One spring day, as sweet as violets and as soft as the little grasses, Lucy went down to the stream to gather the mint that grew along its banks And that spring day, as warm as ·the fresh earth and as tender as the young clouds, Tom Pennell , the strongest of the ten strong Pennell sons, came down to plow the corn.field that ole man P ennell had given him to build his cabin on when he married. He saw that Lucy's hair was like the color of the corn that would grow in the .field h e was plowing and that she was like the willow trees that grew along the stream He walked over to the bank and silent! y helped her pick the mint. And Lucy's hand trembled , for he was a Penne ll and his eyes were bluer than all the blue skies of sprmg
That night there was a new moon, and when that moon had grown full, Lucy and Tom , forgetting the feud of their families and rememb ering only that it was spring, had plighted their tro th for better or for worse.
Like racing clouds, the news spread over the mountain. It paralyzed the people to thin k that the offspring of the two clans should marry . And as for the Wilts and the Pennells, they only cursed them and became more tight-lipped towar d one another.
Tom and Lucy built their little cabin in the [8}
hollow, and they lived and loved by the stream where the willows grew.
An d on Sundays, when they went into the church hand in hand to take their places near the back, neither the Pennells nor the Wilts nodded their beads in greeting.
W hen the spring came again, Lucy had a child and they called the little girl Spring. Now as Tom plowed his field his heart flew with the birds, and Lucy's happy song floated up through the hollow.
But in August there was a great drought and all over the mountains the corn withered on the stalk. Frosts came early in September and people looked at each other with lined faces. Winter would be hard, and there were no crops stored in the ba rn. The pigs they butchered that fall were lean an d the snow stood waist deep before December.
Sweeping down the mountainside, the bitter winds of want chilled the little cabin in the hollow. Sickness slunk through the mountain and the little girl Spring was one of its victims. Lucy was a good nurse and watched over her night and day until she was haggard and pale herself. Tom woke one cold, gray morning to find her tossing with a high fever. There wasn't much food in the house. They were down to their last barrel of potatoes and the last of Lucy's canned fruit from the summer before. With the snow so deep, there was no way to get down to the general store for food, and besides, Tom's bill was around five dollars already and tha t's a powerful lot of money to owe and still get credit.
As the days grew colder, Lucy's fever mounted. Tom thought she had pneumonia, but he wasn't sure. He wished that his maw could come nurse Lucy. But ole man Pennell had sworn to see them dead before the Pennells would help them.
But to see Lucy lie there , her eyes glazed with pain, and hear Spring's thin crying tore at him He banked the fire and took his jacket down off the hook. He was a Pennell and these were his people. Snow was beginning to sift down as he started up the hi ll toward the Pennell place. His father met him at the door, stone-faced, and would not listen to his stor y. He heard Marthy say, "But, man, it's Christmas Eve can't we"' But ole man Pennell shut the door to Tom. He trudged over to the Wilts, not daring to hope. And Charley Wilt's heart bled when Tom poured out his story. But Lucy had married a Pen-
nell and they'd have nothing to do with her. She'd made her own bed; now let her lie in it.
Tom walked heavily down the road to the cabin in the hollow. He found Lucy hovering over the baby. "Good Gawd, Tom, h'it's a' dying'," she screamed, her eyes wild with delirium. He quieted her and laid her gently on the bed. His face was gray like an old man's.
f f f
The storm grew worse that night and it howled around the Pennell house. Marthy was frying a slab of bacon for their Christmas dinner. There wasn ' t much else to cook, not when there were as many mouths to feed as the Pennells had. Ole man Pennell sat smoking his pipe. Half turning, Marthy said, "Paw, reckon we could"-
" No, we cain't. Been through all this before and we ain't a'doin' it. We ain't a'givin' no help to a Wilt. We jes' ain't."
Softly Marthy said, "I ain't never seed th' baby. · And ef'n hit would die"-
The smoke from the frying and from his pipe made rings of blue in the kitchen. Ole man Pennell remembered suddenly that Tom was the baby of the family
f f f
The youngest children were in bed and Mol Wilt halfheartedly put the pot of beans on the stove. It was hard to make ends meet, and that would just have to do for tomorrow's dinner. But Lucy, poor thing, down in the hollow, sick and maybe dying, didn't even have beans. She should go to Lucy, she should, no matter what Charley said.
Charley Wilt, bringing in an armful of wood, saw her troubled face and went over to her. "Charley, Lucy was our first, our very first one. Don't you remember?" she sobbed. He dropped the wood and pillowed her graying head on his shoulder. . ..
f f f
They met that night on the road that led up the hollow to Tom's and Lucy's cabin, the Wilts with their pot of beans and the Pennells with their slab of bacon. They looked at each other and the bitter years behind them stood out in their hearts like fire
It was Christmas Eve, and many years before a little baby was born in a stable, and His Mother laid Him in a manger for there was no room in (Cot,f inued on page 24)
[ 9}
The 8:18
The windshield wiper glides slowly back and forth , back and forth , first to ·one side, then to the other. Each time it squeaks its protest as it makes a gallant attempt to thrust the water aside, only to find on its return trip that the job must be done again. Over and over the small mechanical combination of metal and rubber wipes the glass clear , stops , starts , struggles up halfway through its j ourn ey only t o slid e down again , g atherin g th e incessant water before it
The drops splatter on the smooth surface Some land beyond the scope of the wiper ' s long arm . These are joined by others to form streaming rivulets which meander downward: meeting , merging , growing, and then separating All of these make a splotchy cascading curtain, broken only by the rhythmical sweep of the windshield wiper
The perpetually moving water contains sparkling specks of gold , mingled with dripping rainbows . As the wiper pulls aside the tumbling cur-
The Business Man
He walked importantly along the quiet side street. Pride and ego oozed from every pore. His footsteps seemed to echo "wonderful," " clever," and all the other adjectives that modify a smart business man. He thought of himself as an eagle who , ahead of all the other eagles, swept in to clinch the deal. He skirted a fuzzy yellow caterpillar crawling on the sidewalk. Shamefacedly he remembered years ago when he treasured this insignificant insect. And even more contemptuously he shrugged off the little thrill that went over him as he recalled the prickly feeling of having one crawl over his hand . But important people don't
tain time after time, street lights are reveal ed, along with their shining reflections. Beams of p assing headlights cast blinding wavery spots wh ich obliterate everything, but only for fleeting moments. The contrasting blackness of the night h as turned the windshield into a Fourth of July celebration .
Under the street lights the railroad statio n is but a teeming mist as the falling water acts as h alf closed eyelids. Train windows, many square s of yellow , are placed regular! y on the platform , all being forced together, pulled apart , splittin g and stretching, jumping as though they were eager to be .on their way.
People get off of .the train and walk unde r the street lights. They are nothing but black ma sses, doubled in size by their shadows , always wig gling, wobbling, never ceasing until the last one is gone.
Steadily the wiper plows its way over the gl ass, swishing , splashing, monotonously pushing the water, to the left, to the right, on and on an d on.
ANN WIL EY.
think of caterpillars And he certainly w as important. He and he alone had succeeded in this highly sought-for agreement.
Suddenly a shrill voice rang through the air. He opened his mouth, and clamped it shut. He wouldn't yell in the street like a common child He hastened up the narrow walk as the voice again sent forth harsh music. With a slight tinge of ap· prehension in his tone he answered , 'Tm coming, Mother."
And with the smug dignity of a seven-year-old who has just sold two ten-cent marbles for thirty cents , he mounted the steps.
FLORA JEANNE ZB AR.
How's Your A. Q (Ad Quotient)?
How much do you reme1nber? Try this test and find out your A. Q. Score yourself this way: 35-40 You are either lucky or a genius. (Take Anglo-Saxon and find out.) 25-35 Your luck isn ' t bad. (Write home for some more money.) 15-25 You are average. (Disgusting, isn't it?) 5-15 Stick to tiddlywinks. 0-5 The Collegian is looking for someone like you for the staff.
1. "Good to the last drop."
2. "It happens in two seconds."
3 "Soft-Strong - Jumps Up."
4. "Yes he's used to the best!"
5. "Doctors prove 2 out of 3 women can have lovelier skin in 14 days."
6 "Like sleeping on a cloud."
7. "Better things for better living . . . through Chemistry."
8 . "Isn't there someone who would like to hear from you today?"
9. "Step forth wi,th
10. "The future belongs to those who prepare for it."
11. "The sum-total of smoking pleasure."
12 "The safest, most comfortable way of going places fast."
13. "Mild as fine castile."
14. "We work to keep you safe."
15. "The Lion's Roar "
16. " Natural color tone."
17. "A woman never forgets the man who remembers."
18. "So round, so firm, so fully packed-so free and easy on the draw."
19. "A fine car made finer."
20. "Famous for quality the world over."
21. "The perfect pipe tobacco."
22. "Wherever particular people congregate . . ."
23. "Big-car quality at lowest cost!"
24. "You like it ... It likes you."
25. "The postwar leader in motor car style."
26. "Experience is the best teacher."
27. "No other soap in the world can make these claims."
28. "Li£ e can be beautiful when you get lean , red meat 'every day."
29. "Save the easy, automatic way."
30. "Pivots to any angle."
31. "America's most luxurious motor car."
32. "Typewriter leader of the world."
33. "Nothing could be finer."
34. "Right! Wrong! Right! Wrong!"
35. "Steals the show ... wherever you go."
36. "There's a --in your future."
37. "His master's voice."
38. "Hits the spot."
39. "99 44 / 100 per cent pure."
40. "A skin you love to touch."
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DON WILSON.
- Season's Greetings[ 11 J
i iule 1Likt \lebts i
'Tis the season to be jolly,
@- To deck with imitation holly i
@- The imitation Tudor Halls,
@- And celebrate with Christmas Balls.
@-
@-
And season's greetings have been sent
@- To treasurer and president,
@- To dean and dietician, too,
@- To coach and Team and BSU.
@-
@-
A greeting, make it loud and clarion
@- To deans of students Bus and Marion,
@- To Raymond B. we ' re going to wish on
@- A brand new Christmas Tax Commission.
Dean Roberts, if we' re not too tardy, 1
@- Greetings from us and Thomas Hardy.
@- Ring out the bells, make it a pealer
@- For Mr. Stone and Dr. Wheeler,
@- And strike an extra Christmas gong -:,--,,-..,,
@- For Professor Millard K . Bushong!
@- A brilliant chord on the chapel organ
@- For George Hodges and Vernon Morgan
@- ~iiiii~ And a couple of extra organ chords
@- For everyone else with convertible Fords.
@- For the Alpha Sigs and the ODKs We wish the happiest holidays, 1 And the same to Phi Delta Theta, The Web, and Beta Beta Beta. i
May the holidays be doubly bright
@- For Andersons, Sattler and Dwight,
@- May Yuletide cheer be more than good
@- To Norman B. and Lawrence Wood;
@- To Sarah Bishop and Sarah Brenner
@- A happy and sumptuous Christmas dinner.
@- Our warmest Yuletide greetings go
@- To Rene Barbour and Hansford Rowe; To all the Smiths and Joneses and Clarks; 1
@- To Miss Throckmorton and Morton Marks.
@- A happy wish, no hawing and hemming
@- To Herman Thomas and Herman Fleming.
@- On both Albrights our cheer is centered,
@- As well on Spencer as on Leonard; -,J And a sprig of holly we send as greeter
@- To Jimmy as well as Jackie Jeter; To all professors and their classes: w M ,Oi - . ANER.
@-
May Christmas bring not flunks but passes.
[ 12}
MI LLIE WATERS, FRESHMAN, BALTIMORE, MARYLAND. The daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph M. Wa ters, Millie's favorite hobbies are anything connected with water-swimming, sailing , fishing, crabbing. But to prove that she's a well-rounded lass, we finally made her blushingly admit that she liked sewing and knitting next best to water sports. Her favorite color in the fall is hunter's green and in summer it's yellow. She reminds us of cameo print-Peter Pan - old lace and petit point - Masked ball.
[13]
Christmas On The Bowery*
BILL REED was a big red-faced fellow with a booming voice. I couldn't help but laugh a t his cheery remarks and feel proud that he had been a friend of mine for years . The third finger on my right hand still hurt a bit from his handshake. Next time I'll take my ring off
I was sitting in the office of the Bowery Mission talking to Bill Every year I came down to get a Christmas story for the Church H erald There were a million of them here Through these doors have passed every kind of man, and each one had enough of life behind him to make a good story. Through these stories the Mission received most of its money People would read them and then send whatever they felt like sending. It usually was more than they would give if you asked them for a contribution.
" Well , Ernie ," said Bill , " I have a story about a guy named Charlie Howard . He had been here a long time before I came to the Bowery , and he was in and out a lot before I even knew who he was. As a matter of fact, I don't know yet. I don't think that was his real name. He never talked with the boys very freely, and I had a hard time getting him to say 'Good morning' to me. Yet everybody seemed to like him. He was always a gentleman. Even in his rags he walked like a man. You knew when you looked at him that he hadn't been born a bum. I never knew him to touch a drop of liquor. I never heard him curse, or swear, or say anything that I'd be ashamed to speak before my mother.
"I tried to get him to open up, tell me about his past, but to no avail. I'd beg him to tell me about his mother; that gets most of them He didn't tumble. His eyes would fill up and he ' d twist his battered old hat, but-no words to go with it. I begged him, ' Charlie, why don't you go home, and get away from this? You ' ll never be any better off on this street They call this the Last Mile . The " whistle stop " for eternity. Why don ' t you go home?' He'd look away and mumble , 'I can't, Doc. I just can ' t, that's all.' When I pushed him too hard, he'd put on his old hat and walk off down the Bowery like a man that was on his way to hell and didn ' t care. I never got hold of him. He was one of those I lost.
"Something had happened, somewhere. He'd
*Id ea fr om G od on the B ou·ery, by Ch a rl es St J ohn.
been somebody, that was sure. He had been floored, crushed by something that he was running away from He had dragged that weary cross God only knows how many miles . Never once did he raise his eyes to search the crowd for a Simon of Cyrene to help him. That takes more courage than most of us have. No one of us could travel Charlie Howard's 'Via Dolorosa' and hold our jaw s tight and keep going I respect him for it , though it kept him from going home or me from helpin g him. There's a lot in a bum to respect if you look for it.
"The boys respected him I've seen them mov e over and make room for him on a hot-air vent , and that's just like pinning a medal on a man , down here. If ever they ' d had an election here h e would have been elected Mayor of the Street. But there were no elections. There were just days and nights, o ne after the other, endlessly.
"Then one week I missed him fr o m the services. That wasn't very unusual here, so I didn't worr y much Then one afternoon I had gone up to Emergency Hospital to see one of the boys wh o had slipped under a truck and lost both his legs. As I started to leave I met a nurse in the aisle pushing one of those large screens they put up around a man's bed when he's about to die. Instinctively, I asked her if there were a chapl ain present to take care of the man, and she shook h er head She pointed toward the man. I looked . It was the face of Charlie Howard.
" I walked over to the bed and he turned away. 'Why didn't you call me , boy? ' I asked.
"' Haven't you done enough for me already? ' he answered. Tm a failure; I didn't want you to know.' He slowly stopped talking, and his han ds were cold. I knew there wasn't much time , so I began praying
" 'Coma ,' said the nurse . ' The last coma.'
"Two mornings later I waited in the chapel of the hospital for them to bring him up. The casket came up in the elevator; it was a huge elevator w ith large, ugly doors that groaned like the doors of hell when the damned pass through The casket was rolled out by a big fellow who didn ' t even take his hat off . He rolls them out every day T he undertaker stepped forward, placed the casket before the altar and then moved back into the [ 14 ]
shadows on velvet feet. I stepped forward and opened my Bible. At my feet lay my derelict friend, dead. I stood there feeling that I was sort of a mediator between him and God. It was raining outside. Rain slashed at the windows and sang a wild requiem in the eaves.
"It was a day like most of the other days in Charlie's life. Cold, uncomfortable, and forbidding. I began to read, 'Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth while the sun be not darkened ... nor the clouds return after the rain.' T he damp chill of the day sank into my bones. The little group that had come over from the Church Herald office clutched their coats tighter. 'And the doors shall not be shut in the streets .. .' How many times, Charlie Howard, had you had doors slammed in your face? How many Christmas Eves had you wandered past locked windows lovely with re d wreaths, looking in at children romping around a tree? '. When the sound of the grinding is low ... .' Which, being translated, means, when the work of life is done, when the bitter grind is over. This life was over
" I glanced up just as I read this line and I saw the old hospital attendant, who had been standing near the door, shuffie across the cold stone floor and leave the room. He's a hard fellow; he has a fun eral like this every day, even more sometimes. But Old Ed got the meaning of that line. As he pass ed the coffin he pulled his old cap from his hea d and jabbed a dirty knuckle in his eye He did n't slam the door. People are human, everywhe re
"W e sang a hymn for Charlie. 'Beautiful Isle of Somewhere.' I began thinking that there must have been, somewhere in the past, a boy named Cha rlie Howard laughing beside a brook or loafing in the sun. There must be a Beautiful Isle ahead of him. There must be! After all those freezing nig hts he'd spent in the dark alleys along the Bowe ry, sleeping on a newspaper or on the bare
pavement, knees pulled up under his chin, and the snow drifting over his feet-after all, there must be something. If there isn't, then life doesn't make sense; it is a ghastly farce perpetrated on us by a ghastly God, and I want no more of it.
" I fought down the lump in my throat, and finished the Scripture and tried to say a few words . It wasn't a sermon. I despise the average funeral sermon; too many of them sound like a desperate last-minute stand for making a good case for the deceased when it isn ' t there. I didn't try to make a saint out of him I honored the man he might have been, and asked God to help him . I told God that this was a boy never quite grown to man's estate.
"One of the men in the audience said to me at the end of the service , 'It's good to know the poor chap had one friend in death, Bill.' I know how he meant that, but it's wrong. Charlie had dozens of friends that he never knew he had. When I had it announced over the air that Charlie Howard had died and would be buried in Potter's Field unless someone sent help, I was deluged with mail , checks, offers of cemetery lots. The boys on the Bowery sent a lone spray of flowers, and it lay on the casket like the clean , white hand of God. The undertaker gave the casket and the funeral cars. A lady gave me a lot in the Oak Hill Cemetery, and still another gave me the white stone that marks his grave.
"We followed the casket to the cemetery. I insisted on that. No one raced ahead of him to the grave. I committed his body, took one last look at the spray of white flowers , and then I drove back to the Bowery.
" There are many kinds of Christmases. Some are happy, some are sad. The Grim Reaper is no respecter of persons. 'It was appointed once to every man to die.' "
DWIGHT
ANDERSON.
~he c-rearls
IT was mid-afternoon and the big store hummed with activity as the crowds of last-minute shoppers thronged its aisles. Christmas was in the air and everybody knew it. The windows and walls were bedecked with greenery and silhouettes of Santa Claus and his reindeer. All about on the counters stood artificial Christmas trees brilliantly lit by electric lights. A loud speaker blared forth familiar Christmas carols in a manner .almost sacrilegious. Everywhere, everybody seemed to be in a hurry. There were shop girls scurrying by with merchandise, elevator boys shouting " going up " in time with the car chimes, ladies in fur coats elbowing their way through the shifting mass, fat men trying to squeeze through spaces much too small for them , and small children admirin g the toys on the counters. The clamor of feet , the endless chatter, the chimes, the bells, and the music all fused together to make the sound of a vast symphony orchestra tuning up.
At first it had all seemed so new and exciting to Bernice. But now , after six weeks at her post behind the perfume counter the romance was be- · ginning to fade.
"At least, it is better than peeling potatoes and baking corn bread ," she thought to herself as sh e continued her routine of selling.
"' Evening in Paris ' ? Yes , ma ' am. Ri g ht over here. "
She thought of little Albert whom she had cared for since he was born as if he were her own child.
" I am sorry , madame, we do not have 'Coty ' s.' But we do have 'Hudnut's Violet. '"
She thought of her father.
"I don't care if he did get mad when I left," she exclaimed to herself "If he thinks I'm going to waste my life in that dump , he's got a nother thought coming. I'll show him ."
Her reveries were interrupted again. This time it was a call from Mrs. Scroggs, the floor manager, who sent her to get a box from the supply room. After she had returned to her spot at the counter, she soon became aware that someone was staring at her. She could not see who it was for the crowd was between them. She leaned to one side and stood on her tiptoes in order to get a better view Suddenly she saw a sight that filled her with the mixed emotions of surprise, embarrassment, and
anger. Against the next counter stood a woman in her late sixties attired in a shabby coat and a man's hat . She had not quite succeeded in wiping all th~ snuff from her face and she was smiling for sh~ had not yet seen the face of her youngest daughter.
" Why did you have to come here?" Bernice quietly gasped in angry tones as the woman drew near. "Go on away. I don't want to see you at all," she added, muttering a curse under her breath.
The old woman paused for a while and then slowly turned from the counter and made her way toward the door. In her heart was the deepest sadness that she had ever known. She stopped again near the door and looked for a while in the direction of the counter, then passed into the busy street outside.
The afternoon was unusually long for Bernice She tried to dismiss the matter from her mind but it seemed to bob up in everything , Mrs. Scroggs had not been trained in the new school of personnel managem e nt. She believed that the best way to obtain efficiency from her workers was to exercise an iron rule over them. On this afternoon she chose to vent her feelings upon Bernice . "Why aren ' t you on the other side where I put you, young lady?" she inquired heatedly. ' 'I've been noticing you for the last few days and I think I will have to speak to the manager. We may n o t need you after the holidays ." Bernice did not answer , although a thousand replies ran through her mind .
When six o'clock came, she punched the clock, got her weekly pay, and left the store a s rapidly as possible. Once out on the streets she broke into a run. She did not see the mud and slush that had not been removed from the street corners. She did not hear the shouts of the traffi c cop or the groaning of the streetcar motors. She did not see the Salvation Army Santa Claus who ran g a little bell and pointed to a three-legged pot beside him. She did not even stop to gaze at th e manger scenes or merchandise in the gayly decorated display windows.
She got to Brawley's Jewelry Shop just as the manager was closing the door.
" Well, come on in ," he said when he saw tha t she had been running.
(Continued on pag e 24}
[ 16}
The Silent Row !
These frail white crosses; deathly mute,
Stand silent as they constitute
A final mark of gratitude
To those still forms which rest below
in solitude.
A glistening noonday sun dispels
The morning mist and then foretells
The coming dusk and black of night.
But through it all the cross retains
its sacred white.
The Jew, the Gentile, the Black, the White
Lie side by side; and in the sight
Of Holy God they are the same.
They all return to ash and dust
from whence they came.
Oh yes-we listen even now
To stately speakers reavow: "These men shall not have died in vain."
They were not there to shed the blood
and feel the pain.
And so the world repeats its course
Of hate and war and deep remorse;
And nations look for future foes
To fill their cherished land with
silent rows.
C. F. HADEN.
Thermometers aren't the only things that are graduated with degrees, and without brains.
THE POINTER.
- Merry Christm as -
Fad-something that goes in one era and out the other.
LOG.
- Yttletide Greetings -
Recently the following testimony was received by a patent medicine concern: "For nine years I was totally deaf, and after using your ear salve for only ten days, I heard from my brother in South Dakota."
LOG.
- Happy New Y ear -
NOSEY NEIGHBOR:"Is your son thinking of getting married?"
MOTHER: "I don't think so. He ' s working on his bachelor's degree."
M1s-A-S1P.
- Season' s Gre eti11g s -
" Why did you send that poor fell ow back for your cold cream? He'll never find it."
"I only wanted to get the chap off my hands."
- Jingle Bells -'-
M1s-A-S1P.
He who laughs last has found something that got by the censors.
- Merry Christmas -
Courtship causes a man to spoon, marriage to fork over. ·
- Yuletide Greeting s -
"Sit down in front, mister."
'Tm not built that way."
PROF: "How many natural magnets are there?"
STUDE: "Two, sir."
PROF: "Name 'em. "
STUDE: "B londes and brunettes." GARNET.
- Merry Christmas -
Suicide blonde-dyed by her own hand.
MIS-A-SIP.
- YNletide Greetings -
HIM: "No, darling, it wasn ' t your fault that the donkey threw you on the road."
HER: "Well, whose fault was it?"
HIM: "The asphalt."
- Happy New Year -
MIS-A-SIP.
JEAN: "Oh! He's so romantic. When he calls me he always says, 'Fair Lady.' "
JANE: " Force of habit, my dear. He's a streetcar conductor." SUNDIAL. Season's Greetings -
In an English army hospital: "Ullo Bill!"
"Ullo Alf!"
"Come in todie ?" "Naw, yesterdie. "
- f ingle BellsTHE SCOTTIE.
A sailor who had been shipwrecked and ha d gotten a raft together, had a pack of cigarette s, but nothing to light them with. So he took on e cigarette out, threw it overboard, and made th e raft a cigarette lighter
PELL MELL.
- f ingle Bells -
Two morons each owned a horse, but the y couldn't tell the horses apart.
One morning moron "a" got up early and cut off his horse's tail. But when the two horses wer e seen together later in the day, both horses ha d had their tails cut off.
LOG. GARNET.
Another time, moron "a" cut his horse's man e off, but the other moron did the same thing. So, they still couldn't tell the horses apart.
Finally, a friend of the morons suggested th at they measure their respective horses-and sure enough, the white horse was a foot taller than th e black horse.
TATTLER.
[ 18]
Men From Mars
THE weather is pleasant here in Patagonia . The climate is somewhat similar to that of New England. North of Patagonia lies the Pa mpas region. (This word seems to be from the La tin because the word ending is that of the accu sa tive plural. I was only in one section of that reg ion , and thus I suppose I was in the Pampam; thi s being the accusative singular.) Here I am allo wed to hunt occasionally. Hunting no longer has the fascination for me that it on ce had. It seems that my visit here stems from the fact that I lik ed to hunt. It has been three years since I wa s force fully sent here with many others who liked to hunt. We had all enjoyed this seemingly inn ocent sp o rt.
It a ll started as far back as 1947 with the UnA me r ican Affairs Committee of Con g ress on a sear ch for Communists in the United States I thi nk the one of most notoriety was the J. Tarnell Pho mas investigation of Communist activities in Ho llywood . Connected with this Red-b aiting was a cla use in the Haft-Tartley Act which compelled perso nnel of labor unions to swe ar , o n a stack of Bibl es and to cross their hearts and hope to die , that t hey were not Communists Many peace-lo ving Americans, including the honorable E. Hedg a r Joov er, demanded the outlawin g of the Communist pa rty in the United States. Others , such as that famo us thespian and 1:natinee id o l of the penny arca des , Trobert Raylor, went a step further, and deman ded the expulsion o f American Co mmunists " back " to Russia or some other such " unpleas a nt " place.
Ma ny Americans supported this reasoning avidly. The theory was that if we did away with our enemies at home we would be safe. Consensus facit legem and a law was passed . A few weeks later many thousands of Communist party members and suspected "Fellow Travelers " were roun ded up, including a passer-by who was wearing an old suit, and who had forgotten to remove his Torm a n Nhomas Socialist party button still there from the 1940 election Included also were many working men who had not signed their name s in blood to swear they were not Commun- ists.
Po litics interested me very little. I too thought it wa s good, sound logic. After all, getting rid of a
potential enemy seemed to be an adequate safeguard against attack from within.
In the 1948 election the Pepublicans came to power. The purge of "Un-Americans" had only begun. Everyone having been connected with the Ranklin Pelino Doosevelt administration, and with his policies of semi-socialism ( e.g. T.V.A.) was exiled as being Communists after a quasi judicial hearing of seventeen minutes, nine and three-tenths seconds. The name Lemoncrat became synonymous with Communist.
The matter quickly took on racial aspects. Since Russia had , for a period of time , done away with their problem of minority races , and since there was very little anti-Semitism in Russia , and since Karl Marx was a Jew, all Jews were Communists. This was the only logic. Raus mit ihnen !
President Trobert A. Raft was re-elected in 1952 . An impending rift came to light in the Pepublican party ; Raft had once been seen reading the st o ck quotations from P.M. back in 1947, and was branded a Communist. This split the party into factions. The right wing, the anti-Rafters, had the president impeached and elected one of their own ilk to office The party was somewhat weakened by this split. Many right wingers were purged for drinking vodka; this fact proving them to be pro-Russian, and therefore, Communists They were liquidated . Anonymous alcoholics protested.
With the party weakened by the .finding of many " enemies of the people " within its own ranks it was not hard for a group calling themselves the Vegetarian party to come into power. They were strict anti-vivisectionists and believed in no form of meat eating. All hunting was outlawed. Slaughterhouses were closed by government decree. Animals in zoos throughout the nation were given their freedom. A special emancipation proclamation was drawn up for the occasion. Ghandi, of India, sent the congratulations from the entire Bindu world. The Sta te Department also received a nasty letter from Frank Buck about the entire affair.
To insure complete safety from attack from within, and to further safeguard the " Democratic Way" the ex post facto clause and the Habeas
(Cont inued on page 23)
[ 19]
By KENNY BUTLER
Albums: Re-releases seem to be the rule rather than the exception this month with RCA releasing new Miller and Goodman albums. The "Miller Masterpieces-Volume II" is a collection of the prewar Miller ork including Chattanooga Choo · Choo , Johnson Rag, Missouri Walt z, Pavane, My Isle of Golden Dreams , Perfidia , Runnin ' Wild , and Bugle Call Rctg, featuring such familiar standbys as Tex Beneke, the Modernaires, and Bobby Hacket. Although this edition does not include as many well-known numbers as Vol. I, it is nevertheless representative of the marvelous Miller music and is a welcome addition to any collection. Taking its title from Goodman's theme, "Let's Dance," the BG album includes records made around 1935 which is considered by many as the most productive period in Benny ' s musical career. At this time many fine musicians who are now outstanding figures in the field of popular music were with the Goodman band. This list includes such notables as Gene Krupa, Harry James, Bunny Berigan , Ziggy Elman, Jess Stacey, Vido Musso and Toots Mondello The re-issued sides are King Porter Stomp , Mad House, Roll 'Em , I've Found a New Baby, Sometimes I'm Happy, Changes, Afraid to Dream and Good-bye. There seems to be a scarcity of new Christmas music this year. Outside of several popular holiday songs, the old favorites still lead the parade. Heading the list is Crosby's "Merry Christmas" album which includes Silent Night , Adeste . Fidelis , White Christmas, God Rest Ye Merry , Gentlemen , I'll Be Home for Christmas , Faith of Our Fathers, Jingle Bells, and Santa Claus Is Coming to Town. Bing is backed by the John Scott Trotter and Vic Schoen orchestras aided by Max Terr's Mixed Chorus, the Ken Darby Singers and the Andrews Sisters.
Notes on the Notables: Art Lund's latest releases include And Mimi and What Are You Doing New Years Eve? Since Civilization is here to stay, get Ray McKinley's arrangement i f you must keep up with the latest. ... After bein g introduced by Buddy Clark, I'll Dance at You r Wedding has been waxed by both Helen Forres t and Peggy Lee .. . You'll have to listen to Wh y Should I Cry Over You? more than once to di scover that it's the voice of Betty Rhodes and no t Dinah Shore. B-side is Those Things That Mone y Can' t Buy, a better than average platter .. Tw o new Body and Soul discs are out. One by Zigg y Elman and the other by the Miller-Beneke ork . .. Apple Blossom Wedding, one of Buddy Clark 's more recent offerings, is far below Peg o' M y Heart standards Another clever novelty tun e is Arthur Godfrey's Too Fat Polka. Clever if you like Godfrey's voice, but who does? Krupa h as just released Fun and Fancy Free from the Disn ey pie. It would have been a fine disc except for the strained voice of Buddy Hughes .. . Stan Kent on is booked for Carnegie Hall in December to pr esent a new jazz symphony ... Louis Armstro ng and the all-star group are leaving a fine impressi on wherever they perform ... Duke Ellington will begin his own disc show over a New York stati on beginning the first of the year. It will run fr om midnight until one every night and will be tr anscribed and syndicated ... Authentic folk music is returning, as proved by the rise of such perfor mers as Dorothy Shay and the ever-increasing pop ularity of Eddy Arnold, Roy Rogers and Spade Cooley, not only in the rural districts but in the large cities as well ... Vaughn Monroe has done it again-this time it's The Stars Will Remem ber backed by Ballerina Released at the same time as Body and Soul is the Beneke orchestra's arrangement of I Have But One Heart and Too Late ... Latest thing for the jazz enthusiasts is a book entitled "Jazzways," composed of articles about and by the greatest jazz musicians in the countr yeverything and everybody from old New Orle ans to the greats of today ... Don't miss Marg aret Whiting's So Fa_r Dick Haymes has come out with an excellent Xmas recording-The Christ mas Song backed by Christmas Dreaming . TD, busy . with his own radio show and night club, still has found time to record Kate and I'll Be There ,- also two novelty tunes Friendship and Chattano oga Choo Choo, both done in the best mountain style . . Everyone is holding his breath while the con[ 20}
tr oversy between Petrillo and the record executives continues. The only solution to the proposed record cut-off is fast government action . .. Down Beat is conducting its annual Band-Sideman Poll, results of which will be announced at the 'end of th is month Lionel Hampton has opened his own night club across the bay from Frisco .. . Fra nces Wayne, Herman ' s old vocalist, is surpa ssing even her best, Happiness Is a Thing Called Joe, doing singles in the Windy City area . . . Buddy Stewart has changed his entire style since joining the Charlie Ventura Combo. Already an accepted ballad performer, he now uses his voice as an instrument, " playing" along with the sidemen . .. Nellie Lutcher is "the hottest attraction in the business today " This girl, whose style has been influenced by Louis Armstrong and Earl Hi nes , is booked into the Sherman-Chicago for the holiday show Classics, Light and Otherwise: Back in the early part of the war, Andre Kostelanetz hit upon the idea of a group of musical portraits, the purpose of which was to " mirror the magnificent spirit of our country through music." He appr oached some of America ' s leading composers , who agreed to do a composition on some particular personality that typified in the composer's mind the spirit of America. Two of the outstanding works of this series are Jerome Kern 's "Mark Twa in " and Aaron Copland's "Lincoln Portrait." Both of these were introduced by Kostelanetz on a concert tour during the summer of '42 In " Mark Twa in ," recorded by Kostelanetz, Kern attempts to de scribe the career of Mark Twain by separating his life into four sections. The first of these is Hannibal Days showing the sleepy Mississippi
town with the great river flowing by . T hen the cry, "Steamboat!" is heard and the entire town runs to the dock. After a very short time the boat leaves and the town settles down to a peaceful southern settlement glowing in the sun. Next comes Gorgeous Pilot House, which depicts the fulfillment of Twain's boyhood dreams of becoming a river pilot. Unable to live this dream because of the conflict of 1862, Twain's life took an adventurous turn and he is shown in part 3-W estward Wanderings-as a prospector, miner, and journalist. Ending on a note of seriousness, the composer pays a tribute to this great American by presenting him as an honored, beloved American man of letters.
.. . Aaron Copland's "Lincoln Portrait" is an excellent example of the superior work this talented composer has been doing. Copland decided upon Lincoln only after long consideration and has attempted to bring to the public a side of Lincoln's personality not universally known. Using only two established works-Camptown Races and Springfield Mountains-Copland shows the mysterious sense of Lincoln's personality, the background of his time, and draws a simple but impressive frame around Lincoln's own words The Boston Symphony Orchestra under the direction of Serge Koussevitsky furnishes the background for Melvyn Douglas' impressive voice, which brings excerpts from Lincoln's speeches and letters.
Jascha Heifetz, one of the world's outstanding violinists, has teamed with science and Victor's electronic tecfinicians to record Bach's Double Violin Concerto in D Minor, playing both violin solo parts himself. All those who like Mr. Heifetz or Bach will be well pleased with this album.
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"MYSHOE IS II
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Moderately priced
MARIONSHOE DIVISION; DalyBros Shoe Co., Inc , Marion,Indiana
JUSTPLAINSTUFF
It is reliably reported that Mahatma Ghandi lef t college because all the girls wanted his pin.
- H app y New Y ear-
"What' re ya studying? "
" L atin. "
" Hard? "
" Nope ."
" Can ya cut often ?"
" Never calls roll. "
" Much outside reading? "
" None. "
" M any tests ?"
"N o test. "
'' Call on ya often ?"
" Once a week. "
" Th o ught there was a catch to it ."
- M erry Christmas -
Adam was the first man to be awarded the O ak Leaf Cluste r.
SCRIPT S ' N ' PRANKS .
- Y11letid e Greeti ngs -
He kissed her o nly on ce,
' Twas but a harmless frolic.
But though he kissed her only once , He died of painter ' s colic.
- Season's Greetings -
A homely girl approached the information d esk at the tourist park, and asked for a road map . "Here you are ," said the clerk.
" Well , I hope I don ' t go wrong, " replied the girl.
"With that map ," retorted the clerk, "you can' t possibly ."
PUP TEN T.
- Jing l e Bells -
[ 22]
Personal InformationForm
Please fill out and return at once to the Dean's Office. This record is confidential and will be reg arded as inviolate by the Personnel Office. Your p hotograph will be taken after you enter Sing Sing.
Strik e out the non-applicable statements:
I, . .................. . , a graduate (Name in full) of (the City Jail) (William and Mary) (the school of hard knocks) entered the University of Richmond ( on a pool scholarship) ( for reasons best kno wn to me) (for want of anywhere else to go) to (take Physics 101 or "Fluvanna " ) (find out w hat happens at night in the Greek Theatre) (be wit h my old pal, the Baron of Fireplugrad). A valuable athlete, I was (talked) (tricked) ( charmed) into coming here by an offer of ( a ride on Ha lstead' s motorcycle) ( a steady date at Westhampton) (little value). In my first year I made (t h e pinball team) (time) (a fool of myself) , an d in a game against ( a Williamsburg institution) ( the Baltimore Bloomer Girls) ( the W.C. hockey squad) I became (bilious) (insane) ( of age) and was so surprised that I (burped) ( decided to get married) (took English under Dr. Ball). This was the biggest mistake of my life as I ( was tapped into A.S.S.) ( had triplets) ( studied God 's Little Acre) . After ·my freshman year I got ( hep) ( a reserved spot in the Greek Theatre) ( picked up by the cops) and had ( all kinds of fun ) ( a chance to read the Iliad) ( sell my scoot er). From this time on it was ( a matter of years) (impossible) ( necessary to go to R.P.l.) to reach my senior year. I plan to (graduate) ( get thrown out) ( enter Westhampton) in June and shall go to work ( or have fun like Mayo) ( or teach here) ( organizing 52-20 clubs). I hope the above satisfies my degree requirements.
(Sign here)
Men From Mars
(Continued from page 19)
Corpus Act were suspended. This was done to facilitate the expulsion of those who would seek to wreck the government.
Thus , with ex post facto jurisdiction legalized, under the new government all who had ever hunted before became subject to arrest as an "enemy of the people. " A neighbor of mine did his patriotic duty to the state and reported me for having hunted. A black truck nicknamed " Black Mazzie, " or " Black Myra, " or something, called for me shortly after midnight and I was hauled away to the police station. I was charged with sabotage and with seeking to wreck the government by non-conformance with its laws. I avowed my innocence, but in vain. My hearing lasted seven minutes , three and eight-nineteenths seconds. I was exiled from the country; given only five hours in which to leave, and thus I did not have time to plan an adequate itinerary I took the first boat available , which was the Netty G. Bunn , carrying a cargo of fertilizer to Valparaiso. And thus you see how , ultimately, I came to be in the wilds of Patagon ia
New s from the United States is infrequent. Messages sometimes arrive via runner from the Isthmus where they are cabled to the rest of the world . Since I have left, many things have happened. The Vegetarians were soon overpowered and most of them exiled as " enemies of the peop~e," or s~mething. Other, still smaller, pseudopolitical parties came and went; each being fraught with insignificance and with little longevity The American Indians were the largest homogeneous group remaining in the country , politically or otherwise , and it was n o t hard for them to gain power in Washington and , later , the entire nation. They claimed to be the first and the only legitimate Americans and hence ousted all non-Indians that remained under charges of being " Un-American." Tribal strife arose and there was a battle raging between the Iroquois and the Algonquins for pos/Pl ease furn p age )
session of the White House. That was the last that has been heard but we hope to hear again within the next six months.
Yes, the weather is pleasant here in Patagonia. Here I am allowed to hunt occasionally although I no longer possess the fascination for hunting that I once did. By the way, I wonder what and who the Communists really were? No one ever got around to actually finding out.
B. G.
- Season's Greetings -
The Pearls
(Continued from page 16)
''I've come to make the last payment, " she managed to say in spite of her heavy breathing.
"That will be four dollars and fifty-three cents. And now would there be something else?" he added as he carefully packed into a box a string of pearls. "What about a nice watch for yourself or as a gift for a friend? Only a few more left."
"I don't think so," she replied as she grasped firmly the package that for weeks she had anticipated getting.
By the time she had climbed the three flights of stairs to her room, she was thoroughly exhausted She was glad that her roommate was not in. In a flash she had opened the package and was admiring the pearls.
"Ah, they're perfect," she sighed. "Just what I've always wanted."
Then going to the closet she put on her bla ck dress and stood for a long time before the mirror.
Finally, she sank down into a rocker and pulled off her shoes. But again , she could only think of her mother.
"She just didn ' t know how awful she looked. l couldn't let her stay there."
She thought of the hard life that her mother had lived, trying to eke out an existence on those barren slopes with her nine children and a no- 'count husband. She thought of the ambitions that she
had had for her children and how she had failed to see a single one of them come true. She remembered the time when she herself bought venetian blinds for the parlor.
Without a moment of further deliberation she took off her pearls, grabbed her $1.98 suitcase and began to stuff her things in it.
''I' ll give them to Mama," she exclaimed in he r excitement. "She has always wanted some."
It was late at night when Bernice began her journey up the mountain. The snow was not deep but it came up over her high heels Icicles hun g from the pine trees and the evergreens wer e weighted down with their white burden. It made a beautiful scene in the moonlight.
Bernice noticed the deathly quietness of the country, except for the low murmur of the wind , compared with the din of noise in the city.
"They'll have a Christmas tree at the church, " she thought, "with tinsel and paper chains of colored paper. I'll get some holly, and make some chocolate candy for Albert."
In the distance was the warm glow of th e cabin.
BAINE HARRIS.
Legend
(Continued from page 9)
the Inn . And ole man Pennell, remembering this, stepped forward. His voice cracked like a rusty gate hinge. "Merry Christmas, Charley Wilt."
And Charley Wilt, remembering also, took his hand and sobbed, "Neighbor."
The snow had stopped, and the little ange ls with stars in their hands came down from Heaven to light the way as the Pennells and the Wilts went together toward · the little cabin in the hollow.
BETTY B. CATHER.
Are you dough-shy? Get us! We give the stuff away . Folding money, too. Yes sir, Pepsi-Co la Co. pays from $1 to $15 for gags you send in and we ~rint. Why worry about an honest living. This is easier. Just send your stuff, along with your name, add ress, school and class, to Easy Money Department, Box A, Pepsi-Cola Co., Long Island City, N. Y. All contributions become the property of Pepsi-Cola Co. We pay only for those we print. There's nothing to it-as you can see from the samples below. If, by coincidence, the words "Pepsi-Cola" turn up somewhere in your ga('\, don't worry about it. We don' t mind. (Matter of fact, we kind of like it.) So start your stuff in now -for Easy Money.
GOOD DEAL ANNEX
Sharpen up those gags, gagsters! At the end of the year (if we haven't laugh ed ourselves to death) we're going to pick the one best item we've bought and award it a fat extra
$100.00
LITTLEMORONCORNER
Our well-known moron-about• campus , Murgatroyd-now a student in the school of agriculturehas develope d a new theory on she_ep-feeding. He makes a daily ration of Pepsi-Cola an important part of their diet. "Duuuuuuuuh, of cours e," said Murgatroyd recently, when questioned as to his reaso_ning, "everybody knows that Pepsi-C ola is the drink for ewe!"
$2 apiece, believe it or not, for any of these we buy!
Get Funny... Win Money... Write a
This is easy as falling off a log. A small log, that is. Just send us a caption for this cartoon The best lin e gets $5 Or you can send in cartoon ideas of your own. For cartoon ideas we buy, we pay $10 apiece $15 if you draw them.
If you're a He, and know a Sheor vice versa - this should be yom meat. Here's your chanc e to strike a blow for the home team in th e battle between the sexes- and maybe win three bucks besides!
He Ubangi: I hear that Mbongo ba s left hi s wife.
She Ubangi: Really? Why?
He Ubangi: He says that every time she drinks a Pepsi, she smacks her lips, and he can't stand the clatter.
He: Why do you call my date ''Pepsi," when her name is Betty?
She: Oh, we all ca ll her "Pepsi" because she goes with anything! *
He: I never knew what real happin ess was until [ marri ed you.
She: Darling!
He: Yes, and by then it was too late.
Three bucks apiece for each of these we print. Let your conscience be your guide.
'\Jaffy'Definitions
Here's a column that must have some deep underlying sign ifi cance. Darned if we know what, though. A ll we know is that these rate a buck each-and the daffier, the better.
Frustration-having a Pepsi-Cola and no bottle-opener.
Stork - bird with a big bill.
Professor-textbook wired for sound.
Thir st-obsolete term; dates back to pre-Pepsi-Cola era.
Cooperation - one bottle of Pepsi with two straws.
* * *
Paying $1 apiece for these is like giving you a license to commit burglary. But-$1 apiece for those we buy.
CHESTERFIELDSOF COURSE-
THERE'S LOTS MORE SMOKING PLEASURE TO THEM -SAYS~~
FEATURED IN WARNER BROS TECHNICOLOR , PRODUCTION ' · "MY WILD IRISH ROSE"