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A Path To Spirituality WOULD YOU DATE YOU... REALLY?




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doors/drawer fronts and RUBRIK ABSTRAKT doors in foil finish. The total price includes cabinets, fronts, interior shelving, drawer and door dampers, hinges, toekicks, legs, visible moldings and panels. Your choice of countertops, sinks, faucets, knobs and handles, appliances and lighting are sold separately. Requires assembly. Shown with STRECKET aluminum handles.

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from the editor CONTRIBUTORS MAURICE JAMAL Maurice Jamal is the award-winning director behind the successful films The Ski Trip, Dirty Laundry and Friends & Lovers. In 2010 he founded the GLO Television Network, Americans first Urban LGBT television network.

MEGAN MCGLOVER Los Angeles’ number one Lifestyle Specialist, Megan McGlover hails from the curvaceous peaks of southern California. Raised under the strict tutelage of her mother and grandmother, her passion for balance-in-life was instilled in her early on. TY XAVIER WELDON Native of Hartford, CT, Ty Xavier Weldon currently resides in Atlanta, GA. Mr. Weldon pursued a higher education at the Art Institute of Atlanta. Many of his talents are projected through a surreal eye. Ty specializes in fashion photography and is known for his creativity. Rameses Frederick EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Curtis Davis FASHION DIRECTOR Reco Chapple FASHION EDITOR Terrence Legend EDITOR-AT-LARGE James Davidson BRAND AMBASSADOR Chad Finley PHOTOGRAPHER Patrick V. Grayson TECHNICAL EDITOR Lorenzo Turner GRAPHIC DESIGNER Mediaoptixs PUBLISHER Jordan Steed Public Relations (NOD PR) 699 Argonne, Suite 3, Atlanta GA 30308 (404) 532-9678 Email us at: email


Is there such a thing as knowing exactly what to do with your life? I mean can we truly be happy if we don’t know how to be? In order for one to truly become confident, one must experience things that have had a positive impact in their life. As a result it becomes your purpose to gravitate towards activities that manifest your personal joy and create confidence. These things not only affect your joy, but the joy for those who surround you and any living thing who is impacted by what you do. In this issue Kelly Price celebrates her joy with US embracing all aspects of being a women. “An advocate of change” is what she labels herself in our exclusive four-page interview. She is forthcoming and frank about her life and all aspects of what she represents. She wants her fans to love themselves first. Perhaps we as UrbanSocialites can take a page from this songbird’s book. We also take a reflective look in the mirror and ask the question; “Would you date you”? Oftentimes we tend to be the most critical spectator of our self. Those of us who are extremely self-criticizing imagine that everyone else is just as critical of us as we are of ourselves! Usually, they are not and usually they let us know, however we only hear what we want to hear when it comes to our self-judgment. So it will be interesting to see how you answer that question. Send us your answers, we are curious to know if you would actually date yourself. When negativity is your only thought pattern, it blocks the opportunity for developing self confidence thus blocking your own joy. That signifies a time for change. Perhaps you can explore a new religion. Why not try AGAPE. It’s simple, non discriminatory and helps you build that inner joy you need to face some of life’s change because change is what powers life, and I believe that embracing change slowly and mindfully can be beneficial in a thousand indescribable ways. Finding small, manageable ways to change yourself and improve your outlook builds confidence, creates peace of mind and opens you up to the possibility of, someday taking on larger, more significant change. After reading this issue, I want you to think about what needs to change in your life, and don’t be so hard on yourself. Reward yourself for some of the small things you do everyday. If you get to work on time for 5 straight days, reward yourself with a small gift, maybe a dinner or new CD. If someone you love does something great, let him or her know you see their improvement and you admire them. If your doggy goes outside instead of on the carpet, make them feel special and let them know that you share in their joy. After all, they deserve it and so do you! I think the answer to what to do with ones life is simple. – Experience life with confidence. Rameses Frederick Editor-In-Chief




Meet the dynamic duo Juan Session & Gee Small


Take some steps toward a better you


The stress free vacation where all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the view



Latest gadgets for the tech conscious


A RENAISSANCE WOMAN Kelly wears Chiffon poncho by Reco Chapple Shoes by Christian Louboutin Photography by Chad Findley



YOU ARE THAT WHICH YOU SEEK! Words by Lloyd S. Bailey

In the words of Saint Francis – “you are that which you are seeking.” Oh yes, the path to the joy, love, peace and unity we seek to experience is within us. This profound truth is an invitation to reclaim and realign with what we know deep down to be true: we have the answers we seek within us. Pause for a moment and presence the thoughts, emotions, moods, and body sensations relative to a current situation in your life that you desire to flow more harmoniously. Are you carrying any resistance that impedes the peace within yourself? Now, take three deep breaths, breathing in deeply on the inhale and exhaling slowly. Notice your experience in this moment. The centeredness that is now present (or becoming more present to you) reflects your sense of unity and congruence with self. The longer you linger in this place of centeredness you are drawn to explore your interior world for the answers and deeper meaning you seek. Listen closely and you will hear: “I am that which I seek; yes I can do this; yes I can heal my life.” Within us lies a divine essence that is an inseparable part of the essence that holds the stars in the galaxies and transforms an embryo into a baby. Sustaining all of life, this divine essence is in every breath we take and is the force that unifies and aligns us as well as the guide that ushers us into the realm of eternal knowing. This infinite wisdom holds the answers to all that we seek.


When you face yourself in the mirror, do you love and appreciate what you see? Do you treat that image and the soul within it with reverence and grace giving it the care it deserves, honoring its uniqueness? Do you celebrate all that you are, even what you assess as flawed? Our experience of harmony and peace is directly connected to our connection to our divine magnificence. So why not embrace the fullness of your life right now? I offer three adjustments in perception that can radically change the experience of your life: Modify your awareness of who you are. This awareness shift is not related to how worthy or unworthy we feel about self. Rather, I invite you to embrace the fundamental truth of the divine magnificence within you. You are wonderful, dynamic and awesomely created, there is no other truth. Our belief dictates our experiences and reframing our thoughts to embrace who we are is key to unclogging the blockages to our true awareness. What we are called to be and do is tapping into our inner magnificence and with that comes the power to actualize, Who We Are! Honor your Physical Body as the Temple Hosting Your Divine Essence While your body emerged from an embryo, it is a living, breathing phenomenon whose existence is directed by this divine magnificence, an invisible force. This divinity determines the

rhythm of our hearts and coordinates to be a projected expression of our divine essence in the world. Loving and caring for your body allows the fullest expression of your essence. Loving your body is a demonstration of gratitude for this gift called life. Recognize and accept your past experiences but leave the past in the past. Your past is your past, you are not your past. True demonstration of graciousness and dignity is being better than you use to be, growing and expanding as you learn the lessons from your life experiences. All experiences, including the painful ones, are needed to be who you are today. On the opposite side of every disappointment, heartbreak and challenge is the breakthrough needed for the next level of personal growth and expansion. Thus, life’s disappointments do not signal failure. Similarly, compassion for those who hurt us and self-forgiveness for any pain we caused releases the past from our present. It is my heart-felt intention to stay fully awake in my magnificence and live from what my heart knows, far beyond the limitations of what my eyes can see. There can be no greater blessing to offer self and the world. I send you love, I surround you with light. The very best for this brand New Year! As do you, I too seek to fully embody the fullest expression of who I truly am. I invite you to live with me in this bliss called - Unity!



RETROSEXUAL Words by Aaron Traister

Definition: A man who chooses to adopt a traditionally “masculine” style of dress and display of mannerisms.


...Retro-sexual trend encourages men to worry about their appearance and spend copious amounts of money on products and clothes to mask more traditional masculine insecurities. “Think of him as the antiMetro-sexual, the opposite of that guy who emerged in the 1980s in all his manipedi, relax-up, skinny-jeans glory. That man-boy was searching for his inner girl, it was argued. The Retrosexual however, wants to put the “man” back into manhood.” –Lini S. Kadaba Retro-sexual is a word that has been used in two very different ways. It sometimes describes an old-fashioned “manly man” who cares little for his appearance. But it has also been used as an example to describe someone who self-consciously adopts traditional masculine styles e.g. old-fashioned manners and clothes typical of the early 1960s (think Sydney Poitier.) The Retro-sexual is a clever play on that other dusty gem of a modern trend in masculinity, the Metrosexual. Unlike metro-sexuality, which encouraged men to worry about their appearance and spend copious amounts of money on beauty products and clothes to mask the kinds of insecurities normally pushed on women, the

Retro-sexual trend encourages men to worry about their appearance and spend copious amounts of money on products and clothes to mask more traditional masculine insecurities. That’s right fella’s, put away your eyebrow tweezers and cancel your appointment at Aveda; it’s time to return to the barbershop with his “butch-ass” straight razors. It’s time listen to Hip Hop, shop at Sid Mashburn’s, wear authentic Florsheim’s and a “Trilby cocked just so” circa 1960. But wait, being a Retrosexual is not just about dressing like a fictional character from a popular period-themed TV show. It’s also about returning to a time when men were men and women were proud. A simpler time when it was clear what it meant to be a man and what his responsibilities were.

URBAN AMBASSADOR: JOHN LEGEND John Legend is one of the most stylish artists of our time. With his unique and sometimes eclectic style, we look to him for fashion focus. This issue we honor John Legend as our Ambassador of Style. Born John Stephens on December 28, 1978, Legend was raised in Columbus, Ohio. At the age of three, his grandmother taught him to play the piano. At seven, he began taking classical music lessons. He graduated from Springfield North High School at age 16 and went on to attend the University of Pennsylvania, where he studied English. What is your everyday style? I wear a T-shirt, hoodie, jeans, and sneakers if I’m going to the studio or hanging out in the East Village, where I live. How do you decide what to wear? I always dress for the occasion. What is one important piece every man should have in his wardrobe? I like cool jackets -- a nice fall or winter coat. You can get a lot of use out of it, and you’ll wear it frequently, so it can really set the tone of your uniform for the season. Who are your style icons? Marvin Gaye was one of the coolest. I look to him as a style icon and as an artist.



POWERCOUPLE JUAN SESSION & GEE SMALLS Interview by Rameses Frederick In our Winter 2010 issue, we spoke to a lesbian couple and asked them what it was that makes them a Power Couple? They filled our pages with knowledge and passion that was insurmountable. To no end, we got inquiries from all over wanting to know more about how to become a Power Couple. Meet Juan Session & Gee Small, these guys have a bit to say on the topic. Not only are they successful, happy and madly in love, they are do-gooders taking their time out to help make the world a better place one couple at a time. Was your first connection based on lust, attraction, or communication? As with most relationships our first connection was based on physical attraction. We met at a restaurant and our eyes connected throughout the evening. When Gee was leaving the restaurant, he approached the table to introduce himself to Juan and exchange numbers. Although there was a strong physical attraction, we quickly discovered that we were at-


tracted to one another on many other levels, which included communication, social interests, family values, desire for love and each other’s personality, integrity, and intelligence. Communication plays a major factor in any relationship, what make’s yours work? We were open with each other from day 1. There was full disclosure. We actually played Dirty Hearts on our first date and exposed our souls. After that it was easy to be completely honest. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we don’t have to hide anything from one another. We have learned (and still learning) how we each communicate best and we use this to our advantage. It is important to know that while you may communicate effectively in one way, your partner may communicate in other ways. We have also made a promise to one another to always share our thoughts and/or issues no matter how it may affect the other person. The reality of these thoughts or issues may feel brutal at first, but it is important that both people know what each other is feeling and thinking in order for a relationship to be built on truth. How do you maintain a strong and continuous relationship after irreconcilable differences? There is no such thing as irreconcilable differences in a relationship. EVERY difference must have a compromise in order to make the relationship work. Sometimes that compromise is just understanding and being compassionate about how the other may feel or think. There will be times when feelings or opinions are so strong and different from the other, however it is important to focus on the issue at hand and not whose feelings/opinions/thoughts are right or wrong. When you focus on the issue you are more open to reconcile your differences. What were your individual goals in life? As with most, our goals in life have changed over time. At one point in time in both of our lives it was to graduate college, and climb the corporate ladder in Corporate America. Today as a Project Managers those goals have shifted. Gee has always been passionate about Entertainment, Promoting/Marketing, Event Planning and Managing and it is his

goal to be successful in this industry to realize that passion. He has a wonderful son from a prior marriage and maybe one day we will be blessed with another, but it is not something that is on the front burner. However, it also his goal to continue to be the best father that he can. Juan’s passion has always been music and he is currently working on becoming a well known songwriter along with is writing team Prototype Music Group (PMG). With a background in performance arts and music, he is also interested in directing. Both of our ultimate and on-going goals in life is to always remain happy with self and maintain inner peace no matter what the circumstance. What does it take to make a strong relationship? Love, Respect, Trust, Honor, Support, Intimacy, Sex and above all: Communication. If your thoughts, feelings and opinions remain open with your partner it allows a closeness to one another that cannot be broken. It also takes a whole lot of patience. One must understand that a relationship takes work. It is not just a walk in the park. We are human and we get attitudes. We get into arguments. We have mood swings. You have to be able to handle all that and more and not wear your feelings on your sleeves. You also need to understand your partner and all of their idiosyncrasies. How do you keep the relationship fresh and interesting? Laughing! Being friends and just enjoying each other’s company. We both love to have fun and have strong a personality so every day is a new adventure. It definitely takes work. You have to be conscious about how your partner is feeling and have the foresight to realize when you need a boost. We are also very spontaneous, love to travel and we never stop dating! Is the world ready for more Power Couples like you? The world needs more couples like us. We think the example that we set will make the world aware that couples like us exist. In time, it will be commonplace.



WOULD YOU REALLY DATE YOU? Words by Megan McGlover Anyone over the age of twenty has heard this question time and time again. Perhaps you’ve even pondered it. The question’s intention is to present you with an “outer-body experience,” forcing you to see how others view you while comparing it to what you want in your mate. During this hypnotic state of reflection, the objective is to rate yourself against your own cheat sheet – meaning, do you even qualify to date yourself? 14 | URBANSOCIALITES.COM

We base our lives on our feelings that are grossly influenced by outside mediocrity, punishing ourselves for not allowing ourselves to be ourselves...

We are all our worst critiques. Sometimes we are objectively optimistic, and other times we can be that Joan Rivers in mid-menopause. Regardless, I tend to believe that we have our own best interest at heart… But where’s the interest in health?

Here are some things to get you started: Don’t do too much too fast It’s difficult to tackle all aspects of health at once. Take small steps. Replacement Instead of eating pork, replace it with turkey. Instead of having a meal without any vegetables, add one or two. Replace a cooked veggie with a raw one. Try your veggies without any seasoning or butter… Try something new.

When we meet someone our mind’s checklist begins with; do they have a job? CHECK. A car? CHECK. Does she still leave with her ex? Ummm... Does he/she have unruly children? We go through this checklist in hopes of preventing any potential mishaps, misunderstandings, or misfortunes. But too often we skip a very important question, are they healthy? Does this person take the time out, daily, to ensure that their bodies are being appreciated and taken care of? Does this person find it necessary to nurture their temples with the proper foods, exercise and moments of meditative silence? Moreover, do you? We place extreme amounts of energy into what we wear, our hair, even our attitudes of grandeur, leaving very little attention for the girth of our existence. We tend to be enthralled with the onset of media influenced necessities while either starving ourselves to fit that status, or simply inhaling everything (food) we see from shame of not “fitting in.” We base our lives on our feelings that are grossly influenced by outside mediocrity, punishing ourselves for not allowing ourselves to be ourselves, which is a dangerous pattern that most of us become entangled in. This article is about health, full health, and complete health. Dare I say eternal health? As a Lifestyle Specialist I see the need for an overall appreciation of one’s completeness and the journey needed to achieve it. Your body is not a toy. But for argument sake, let’s say it is. A Wii game system costs about $200.00. Each game cartridge is around $50.00. When your friends come over to play your Wii games, do you allow them to rummage through your set up, loose the remotes, step on the games and then pour soda over them in an attempt to fix it? No, you don’t. Most likely you don’t allow people to eat or drink anything around your “play area” for fear it may be damaged. The same respect and esteem should be held for our bodies.

Exercise Daily Make a commitment to do some form of exercise everyday. Do sit-ups, leg-lifts or squats while watching television. Take a short walk after dinner. Exchange negative with positive Try to refrain from too much negative intake (television, news, media, gossip) and replace it with something positive (articles, self-help books, good music, great conversation) The body is an energetic machine, working off of mathematical universal agreements. It is primarily operated by the mind (thought) and is considered the “Wonder of the World.” Scientist tried numerous times to duplicate it, but the fine tunings always falls short of the miraculous mindbinding “ah ha” moments. This “you” that you are, is magnificently made and must be treated like the jewel it is. So, take some steps toward a better you.



LIFE Like many gay youth do, I always felt that I was a little strange as a kid. My range of interests tended to be different than the guys who were raised on the same block as me. And while many of them counted NBA athletes and hip-hop artists as their inspirations, my heroes were always the African-American news anchors. It may seem weird to some, but the black men I saw on TV, both locally and nationally were smart, respected and trusted. Their faces delivered important information to homes all across this diverse nation. They moved past traditional stereotypes of what we were supposed to be and presented an image of what we could be. They represented a level of acceptance that I longed for. So when I got the call on Sunday that CNN’s Don Lemon had come out publicly, I was excited by the possibilities that it brings. While Lemon wasn’t exactly closeted (he was out with management and co-workers) his decision to come out to the masses is an important milestone in the intersection between race and orientation.  The reality is that we are quickly reaching a critical tipping point in the Black community in regards to LGBT issues. Over the past several years, we have seen a line drawn between the old school Black establishment and the LGBT community (and our progressive allies). One only needs to look at the urban websites, blogs and accompanying comments discussing marriage equality, the debate over “no homo” and even the Bishop Eddie Long scandal, to see the divide between “mainstream” Black America and the Black LGBT community.


And stuck between this gulf, are countless young people who are struggling with their identity. Lemon notes that his decision to come out was influenced by the suicides of Tyler Clementi and the other gay youth that seemingly swept across this country last year. And for every Tyler Clementi and high profile case, there are countless young people whose stories we never hear, whose cries go unheard and whose pain is swept under the rug. And Black queer youth are far more likely to be isolated from the people and organizations that can support their journey. So who speaks for the young people in our community that are suffering is silence? In coming out, Lemon becomes one of the few high profile African-Americans in mainstream media/entertainment to do so. And it makes a difference. Just like the Black TV newscasters that inspired me as a kid, Don is a symbol of the best of Black America.

Each day, he was in our living rooms helping us to understand some of the most important events of our time. Don Lemon is educated, respected and trusted. And now we all know he’s gay. And the impact of his coming out can’t be understated. There are countless kids who have heard about his coming out, and they can see themselves in him. For those dealing shame, disgrace or confusion, they begin to see the possibilities of living life authentically and proudly.

repercussions of coming out. Some of these “friendships” are even secret, because there’s a fear they’ll be “gay by association”. I have had countless debates with them about “if” one can come out and be successful. But the real question is why would we ever consider a life where we cannot be accepted, authentic and whole, to be successful in any way? It's time for us to redefine what being a "success" is in our community, and on our own terms.With young people taking their own lives, it's no longer conscionable for us to say, "she can't come out because it'll mess with her money" or "he can't come out because his audience is Christian."

I am one of the few openly gay Black filmmaker and actors in the mainstream industry, and I’m proud to have found success within both the Black LGBT community and mainstream Black America. But even for me, the path isn’t always easy. But while coming out publicly may be difficult, imagine how There are biases, prejudices tough it is for the teens in and obstacles that I must overOklahoma, Memphis or your It's time for us to redefine what being come every day.Yet, I consider hometown that live in shame the greatest measure of my fueled by silence. a "success" is in our community, and success to be the countless   on our own terms. emails and messages I receive So yes, I am challenging my high from young people across this profile friends in the entertaincountry, who’ve found support, solace and encouragement ment and sports arena to find the courage to come out. Like in the work I’ve done and how I live my life. While most of Don Lemon, their stories will be incredible and inspiring, but these messages have been from LGBT youth, I also receive their true power will be in showing the common bonds we numerous emails from their family members and friends who all have. sat down, watched one of my films and were able to find common ground. It’s true that being Black and gay isn’t easy. In an interview, Lemon said, "It’s about the worst thing you can be in black Coming out in mainstream entertainment is indeed an imculture. You’re taught you have to be a man; you have to be portant step in changing the attitudes in this country. The masculine. In the black community they think you can pray entertainment industry has a significant influence on culture the gay away.” in America, in particular with communities of color. And the success of openly gay artists and celebrities also demonWith his public coming out, Don Lemon joins a wonderstrates their economic viability and our LGBT buying power. ful family of proud gays and lesbians who are showing our community that you can be Black, successful and gay. But you And coming out is also a very personal decision and indidon’t need to be Don Lemon, or an actor, or rapper or basviduals have to decide what is best for them, their family and ketball player to make a difference. community. But we can’t deny that the coming out as a public figure has an impact. And in the Black community, that impact We need everyday heroes. Everyday stars, everyday people is heightened because of the misunderstandings, homophowithin our community to come out. We need to provide bia and attitudes about Black masculinity that pervade our positive and honest examples to young people struggling to culture. Let’s be honest, Black people are the originators of survive, to find their identity and discover their place in a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. The prevailing attitude in our comworld that is often stigmatizing. By allowing the world to see munity has been to pretend gays and lesbians don’t exist. And us for who we authentically are, we empower young people Black America has rewarded those who hide by giving them across this country, regardless of race, to see their potential acceptance into our congregations, organizations, schools, within us. We give them the space and support they need to political and entertainment life. create a life full of possibilities. A couple weeks ago a white gay friend of mine asked me “where's your Ellen DeGeneres?” He wanted to know if a major Black celebrity would ever come out? And let’s be clear, there are lots of closeted Black gays and lesbians in mainstream entertainment and sports. I count many of them among my good friends. But for most of them they continue to allow their personal lives and professional images to be hijacked by fear, internalized homophobia and the assumed

That is more important the any championship ring, box office success or TV ratings. That is the true measure of success.





So what do genetic women really think about us? Actually what do they think about cross dressers? I think most women would be totally comfortable with our transgender being. It’s our outward physical manifestation of our T-Girlness, the cross dressing aspect that I question.

...what I’ve observed is that men, excluding a few “tranny-chasers,” don’t take much notice of me and don’t realize that I’m a cross dresser.

This is something that I’ve pondered for some time. And I ask it for the simple reason that I have this burning need to be accepted, welcomed, admired and yes... dare I say it… desired by genetic women. That all happens in my male guise, but do they feel the same way about me as a cross dresser? I’m not sure. In fact, I think they don’t. As much as I want to imagine and fantasize that GW’s (genetic women) would welcome, accept and admire me, I actually don’t think they do.

However, what does seem to bother me is that I had assumed that women would welcome me and embrace my desire to express my femininity in a physical manner. But, why should I think that?

Why do I think that? Well, it’s due to the women’s reaction to me that I’ve noticed over recent weeks. I started

going out dressed en femme to “normal” places in recent weeks and what I’ve observed is that men, excluding a few “tranny-chasers,” don’t take much notice of me and don’t realize that I’m a cross dresser. The women on the other hand immediately notice me and recognize me as a cross dresser then start whispering amongst their friends. They immediately begin looking at me and pointing me out to each other and to their male companions. Being “outted” or “spooked” doesn’t bother nor worry me. I know, accept and am comfortable with being a genetic male, T-Girl, Cross Dresser (my particular “box.”) Of course I want to look as passable as possible. And, yes I want to look like an elegant, beautiful,

classy lady, but, I know who and what I am and I’m ok with that.

Well I suppose it’s partly because I have a need to be accepted by women. Or, maybe it’s because I’ve been receiving such a positive response from female shop assistants and MAC beauty consultants. Have I been lulled into a false sense of comfort? I don’t know. But maybe I have been.




NEGOTIATING SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER Photo by Miguel Perez Lem Words by Dr. Weston Edwards

“ My partner wants me to talk dirty, be rough and call him names. I have a real hard time with any of that even though he’s asked me to on more than one occasion.” One of the most difficult tasks in any relationship is being able to comfortably talk about sex with our partners. The issues can range from simply how often and what to do to whether or not the relationship should be open, monogamous or some variation thereof. The main goal in any couples counseling relationship is open and honest communication about what you want, what makes you happy, and what you don’t want. A key component of sexual health is a similarity between your values and your behaviors. It's your responsibility to communicate these values with your partner(s). The decision about the degree to which any behavior is consistent with your values ultimately rests with you. As you think about sex with your partner, there are four general subjects that are important to address. 1) TELL HIM – Have you communicated what you like and don’t like with your partner? Too many times I’ve run into couples saying to one another “I didn’t know that.” For any number of reasons (shame, self-esteem, fear of being judged, not wanting to upset their partner), clients won’t talk about their likes and dislikes. Now is not the time to be bashful. 20 | URBANSOCIALITES.COM

2) ASK HIM – Once you know what you like, do you know what your partner likes and dislikes? It's important not only to know what but why he or she has these interests. For example, I worked with a couple where one guy wouldn’t bottom because it physically hurt. It turned out the pain was due to anal warts, and once those were addressed, the problem went away. 3) LEARN – Don't be shy if you don't know how to do something. Whether you're a top or a bottom, you need to learn some basics regarding foreplay, stretching the sphincter muscle, proper clean up and so on. 4) GET HELP – If after going through the first 3 steps you find you are still having problems, you may want to seek some outside help.This doesn't necessarily mean therapy or counseling, although professional help is a very good option for more challenging problems. Try having a frank, "out of the box" conversation in which you look at creative outlets and avenues to get your sexual needs met. These could include talking to your spiritual adviser, attending a body electric or similar sexuality workshop, or reading book on that subject. Each of these interventions might be helpful in breaking the log jam in your relationship.


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Words by Kammy Maroney

“We are on the planet to be and express the Divine Love of God that is alive in every fiber of our being, waiting to be released through us onto our world. Living as love is a way of life that brings heaven on earth.” ~Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith If you are like me, you were brought up in a Baptist, (insert your own denomination here) Christian family. If you were raised Catholic, your experience was probably the same. Church on Sunday, Sunday school, bible study, and baptisms. You may have even sang in the church choir. Although I sometimes enjoyed these rituals, I felt, even at a young age, there was something inherently wrong with the Christian doctrine. I couldn’t explain it but it felt like I was being judged, like if I wasn’t a sheep then there was something wrong with me. So, all throughout my adult life, I found myself searching for something… A place where I could commune with the spirit and feel accepted, flaws and all. I found it with “Agape.” Agape is a trans-denominational, spiritual community comprised of individuals of all different creeds, colors, class levels, political views, and sexualities. Agape, which simply means unconditional love was founded in 1986 by Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith. His vision was for Agape to be a movement “to stand for love, for peace, for being a beneficial presence on the planet.” As spiritual beings, we are here to become more “ourselves” and gain a closer connection to the energy that binds us all – God. Most religious systems tend to say that we must be or act a certain way in order to gain God’s 22 | URBANSOCIALITES.COM

favor and admission into heaven. And for those who do not subscribe to “normal” or “acceptable” lifestyles, they often can feel judged and left out. Enter Agape… I immediately noticed the infinite diversity and the presence of love from my first experience. Reverend Michael (as he is known by most) utilizes the philosophy “new thought-ancient wisdom.” He believes that we are here to recognize, honor and nurture the dignity and uniqueness of all people. We are here to be a vessel that communicates Gods Love. He wants us all to open up to ourselves and through our spiritual practices, find the pathway to our “self-realization.” According to the Agape, by practicing the following seven steps, you will find the way to your own spiritual evolution: Meditation; Affirmative Prayer; Life Visioning; Sacred Service; Spiritual Study; Spiritual Community; Tithing The Agape philosophy is designed to help dismantle the negative perceptions that many of us were taught to believe about ourselves. To open your-self up to yourself and the universe. Become who you really are. Our God makes no mistakes. And we are all welcome in is his kingdom because we are all children of God. So, if you are on that path to finding self-realization and you feel you have yet to discover a true path to connecting with your higher energy, as a member of this glorious community, I urge to find Agape and experience for yourself Agape Love. Visit



KELLYPRICE A RENAISSANCE WOMAN She’s a mother, an entertainer, an entrepreneur, a designer, a Christian and… This girl can SANG! Meet Kelly Price, a renaissance woman with a strong character and personality to boot. With a new album in stores across the country, performance dates lining up, a clothing line on the horizon, kids, family and the Lord, she barely has time for herself. But, in true UrbanSocialites style, Editor In Chief Rameses Frederick stole a few moments to talk with her about Love, Life and the pursuit of Happiness, all while our style team beautified and shot her for the Summer Pride cover. Talk about multitasking… It has been said that you’ve done A-Z in the music industry, what puts your mind, body and soul in a calm state of being? I’m not so sure I’ve conquered A-Z. In this business, they keep reinventing the alphabet so I keep it moving and I keep working on the A-Z. But what seriously keeps me calm is going home to realness; my children and people who don’t have a problem letting me know my stuff stinks when it does. Prayer and good old-fashioned homegrown values that was instilled in me as a child is what I cling to because I choose to cling to them. You’ve successfully transitioned from a major label to an independent label. How “hands on” are you with your career now? It was a process being inside the machine but it wasn’t all [bad]. I learned some things that I apply now (or don’t apply in some cases) and it works. I’ve been a writer and a producer for years. After my first co-publishing deal, I wanted to get to a place where I owned 100% of my music and in 2005 that happened. The vision I have for myself as an artist is something I’ve always shared with the record companies. At times they took my advice and it paid off and other times what I had to say was totally ignored. I know what it takes to sell Kelly better than anyone. I have always been outspoken about things. I learned a long time ago that if I fail, I’m getting blamed even if it’s not my fault. So, I might as well be in charge if I’m the only one who has to catch the brick and wear egg on my face. How do you differentiate the message you offer in your gospel music verses your R&B music? There isn’t much of a difference in the message I send in my R&B and Gospel music. It’s all Kelly. The way that I write I speak about life, love, hardship, good times, bad times and overcoming things in all of my music. Sometimes the pronouns change because I focus on my audience in my R&B music and I focus on GOD (with the intent of pointing my audience in HIS direction) in my Gospel music. It’s all inspirational music and it’s all about life. As an artist, a wife, a woman, a mother, an entrepreneur and even as a Christian, in between the records; the Church service; the concerts and TV appearances; life happens. That’s what my music speaks about. I acknowledge GOD as the giver of the gift no matter what the genre is.

With all your Celeb-Reality, Is it hard to remain humble and fan conscious? I don’t really view myself as a “celebrity.” I don’t think I really ever have. I’m not saying that I’m unaware of living life with public recognition but I don’t walk around expecting people to notice me. Sometimes when I am approached in public, I have to remind myself that I’m viewed as a celebrity by fans and supporters. But, I’m more conscious of it when I am with my children and just trying to have a regular mommy/kids day. Other than that I’m just Kelly and pleased to be so. What musicians would you love to work with past, present, and future? Past would have to be Marvin Gaye and Mahalia Jackson. Present I would say Rob Thomas, Michael Buble, Cee Lo, Natasha Beddingfield, Dondria and Adele. I’d love to record with Whitney and Faith again as sort of a reunion. As a woman and mom, what makes the family structure important to you? I think to be a renaissance woman filled with woman-ism, strength and independence you need family structure. A person is only as strong as their foundation. My foundation is God and family. My foundation has cracks in it because we’re not perfect [nowhere near it] but I hold fast to what I know to be true, what I know to be real and what I know to be right. And where I fall short, God and family make up the difference. Are you an advocate for change and how is that represented in Kelly Price? I think everything about me as a person displays advocacy for change. My career path and comparing it to the way I grew up and my strict Pentecostal background for one. My physical appearance is another. The business decisions I’ve made to go against the grain and dare to be different and not conform to cookie cutter sounds and imaging.The very essence of what the world has come to know me as speaks change all day, everyday. How do you feel about the bullying epidemic and how it effects confidence? I think bullying has always been around and it’s been down-


FEATURE I think that life is a constant learning journey. I’m still learning, but right now I am loving ME.

played for a long time as kids “just being kids.” As technology progresses and things are much more accessible than when I was a kid (internet, drugs, advanced weaponry) it makes it worse. It totally undermines confidence. Adults and people in authority need to pay more attention and look for the signs of kids who are bullied [they are so obvious] as well as the ones who bully. Tell me about when female illusionist Tahjee Iman performed your song? I met T after a performance in Chicago many years ago. She had just been in an accident and was told by doctors that she would never walk again. After talking to her for over an hour I asked if she would let me pray with her and she said yes. I’m not super deep nor do I claim to be anything other than a woman of faith,


but I felt like she would not live her life out in a wheel chair and I told her that. A couple years later I was in Chicago and after a performance Tahjee made her way to security and got them to let her backstage. She was on a walker and I didn’t recognize her. Once I realized, I started to walk to her and she said “no, you told me I would walk so I have to do this.” She put the walker aside and walked to me. I recently saw her in Atlanta performing my song “Tired.” I was totally surprised. She’s completely without her walker and performing on stages around the country. Meeting Tahjee Iman is one of the most moving things that have happened to me. When our readers purchase and listen to the new “KELLY” album, how would you like them to feel? KELLY is a kind of coming of age album for me. I think that life is a constant learning journey. I’m still learning, but right now I am loving ME. I’ve never really been here. If they get anything from my music, I want people to Love Themselves.

What does the year 2011 hold for Kelly? In 2011 I’m an independent artist and promoting my own music. I’m a publisher who holds my own copyrights. I’m still in the business of designing clothes for the sister who have a little more to love because THAT’S ME! And, I’m closer today then I’ve ever been to getting those clothes mass manufactured and in stores. I’m a self-published author [I have 2 more completed books that I will release in the next 12 months]. I’m working on TV and film projects as we speak. And, someway, somehow my kitchen creations will find their self in grocery stores around the country. I don’t have to be the billionaire artist [although I wouldn’t mind] because now, there aren’t as many people slicing up my pie so I can still LIVE...AMEN and SELAH!




Photographer: Hasson Harris Models: Lason Marble, Brandon Lane & Cameron Brett





HEARTS OF THE EXILED Models:Gary Winfield & Lason Marable Photographer: Hasson Harris
















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SOCIAL LIFE 1.) Kendrick Day Art Beats & Lyric 2.) VibeKodak 3.) VibeKodak 4.) Megan Mcglover 5.) UrbanSocialites @ The Green Lounge 6.) Warren’s White Party 7.) Ultimate Blogger 8.) Stars of the Century 9.) Tuesday TimeOut




5. 8.




New Semester New Style New Attitude!



Photography by Ty Xavier Weldon Stylist: J Gbor Inc.

Brush up on your social networking skills.

Step outside your comfort zone by meeting new people. 34 | URBANSOCIALITES.COM

Practice make pertect!

Participate more in school activties.

Long lasting relationships begin here.

A clear mind leads to clear thoughts.

Stay focused and achieve your goals.

Models: Vincent Von Harrington, Brandon Gregory, Robert Dowdy, Gary Borden, Romaine Brown, Ques Williams, Nadia Milan, Megan McGlover, James Davidson, Wayne Rock, and Stephon McWilliams Shot on location at Agnes Scott College

Don’t be a spectator. Get in the game. URBANSOCIALITES.COM | 35


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Wanda Sykes has been called “one of the funniest stand up comics” by her peers and ranks among Entertainment Weekly’s 25 Funniest People in America. Her smart-witted stand up has sent her career in many different areas. Sykes recently wrapped the first season of her own late night talk show on FOX. “The Wanda Sykes Show” aired on Saturday nights. In October of 2009 she was seen in her second HBO stand up special “I’ma Be Me”. Sykes also returned as “Barb” in the CBS comedy “The New Adventures of Old Christine”, in it’s 5th season. Her first HBO comedy special WANDA SYKES: SICK & TIRED debuted in October 2006 and was nominated for a 2007 Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special. It was taped before a live audience at the Moore Theatre in Seattle, WANDA SYKES: SICK & TIRED, features material from her recent national tour. Among the topics covered are: politics, gay marriage, karma, healthcare, racial profiling, the pressure of being a woman and the perks of getting older. Sykes was seen in the feature films “Evan Almighty,” the sequel to “Bruce Almighty,” in which she co-

starred with Steve Carell, the New Line feature “Monster-In-Law” starring opposite Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda, and was heard in the animated feature “Over The Hedge” for Dreamworks as well as “The Barnyard” for Paramount Pictures. She can also be seen co-starring with Luke Wilson and Uma Thurman in the romantic comedy “My Super Ex-Girlfriend.” Sykes starred and produced the Comedy Central show “Wanda Does It” where she tried various non-showbiz jobs. Her first book titled Yeah, I Said It, published by Simon and Schuster, hit bookstores in September 2004. Yeah, I Said It is a hilarious collection of essays touching on life, family and current events. In the fall of 2003 she was seen on Fox’s “Wanda at Large” which she wrote, produced and starred in. She also has a one hour Comedy Central special called “Wanda Sykes: Tongue Untied”. In addition, she can be seen on HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” or heard on Comedy Central’s “Crank Yankers” as the

voice of Gladys Murphy. Wanda was born in Portsmouth, Virginia and raised in Maryland. She graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree from Hampton University. Her stand-up career began at a Coors Light Super talent Showcase in Washington, DC where she performed for the first time in front of a live audience. She spent 5 years as part of the HBO’s critically acclaimed “Chris Rock Show.” As a performer and writer on the show, she was nominated for three Primetime Emmy’s and in 1999 won the Emmy for “Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Special.” In 2001, she won the American Comedy Award for “Outstanding Female Stand Up Comic.” She won three more Emmy’s, in 2002, 2004 and 2005 , for her work on “Inside the NFL” for “Outstanding Studio Show - Weekly- Inside The NFL”. Visit

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A health club can provide three major benefits: motivation and companionship, instruction and supervision, and equipment and facilities. Motivation is the most important, especially for those who are just starting to exercise. The first steps to fitness are the hardest. It can take two to three months for people to really enjoy exercising; going to a club can make those initial workouts easier to take. Instruction is an important feature, both for beginners and people who are ready to move up to a new level. Most clubs offer free hands-on guidance to get you started on a piece of 40 | URBANSOCIALITES.COM

equipment, and many offer personal trainers to plan and supervise an individualized regimen, usually for an extra fee. Group classes are also available at most clubs, providing companionship, motivation, and instruction all at once. A third reason to join a club is to get your hands — or feet — on their equipment. Home exercise equipment is great, but few homes can support more than one or two devices. Every health club worth the salt of your sweat will have elliptical, treadmills, bikes, climbers, resistance machines, and weights. Many offer even more, from rowing machines and crosscountry skiers to swimming pools.

Checking out a health club sounds formidable, but it’s actually much easier than buying a car or filing your taxes. The most important investment is not your money but your time, and the most important dividend is your health and happiness. Exercise is essential for optimal health and longevity; an investment of 30 to 45 minutes nearly every day will earn the best returns. In a sense, a health club is just a big, expensive piece of exercise equipment. If you use it, you’ll feel great and enjoy many health benefits, but if not, you’ll just feel guilty and wasteful.

PICKING A CLUB Exercise facilities range from old-fashioned, hard-core gyms, to neighborhood centers and Ys, to fancy clubs and sleek spas. Here are some tips to help you find the club that’s best for you. • Find a club that’s convenient. A long commute is a dagger in the heart of good intentions. If at all possible, pick a club within 10 to 15 minutes of your home or work. Location is everything, or at least nearly everything. • Be sure the club is open when you want to use it, and that it’s not too crowded at your favorite times. • Be sure the club has what you want, but don’t pay for more than you need. If you’re a treadmill, bike, and Nautilus guy, you can save big bucks by staying away from clubs that have racquetball courts and steam rooms. On the other hand, if your stroke is the crawl, seek out a club with a lap pool. LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP Health clubs want you for your body, but they want you for your money, too. Most clubs impose a one-time initiation fee, then a monthly or yearly charge. Costs vary widely; a no-frills gym may ask for $100 to join and $25 to $50 a month, while a spa with all the bells and whistles might accept $1,000 for the privilege of belonging, then $100 to $200 a month. Buy only what you need, and pay only what you can afford. And even if the price is right, exercise a little care: • Join an established club that’s unlikely to close suddenly, leaving you with a prepaid invitation to a locked building. • Read the contract, even the fine print. • Evaluate the payment options. A monthly or quarterly fee will give you more security than a prepaid annual

fee. Ask if there is a finance charge. Look for specials or negotiate your own deal. • Sign the shortest contract you can, particularly if it’s your first. Try to find a plan that will allow you to opt out for a small charge or one that you can sell to a friend for a modest transfer fee. Don’t think a longterm agreement unless you get a discount — and even then, be sure you’ll actually use the club and that it will stay open and up to date. • Check with your local Better Business Bureau of consumer affairs agency to see if people have complained about the club. • Check out the atmosphere. Intangibles can make or break a club. A club should be inviting — clean, bright, and upbeat. That goes for the showers and lockers, too. If TV or music will help you work up a sweat, be sure the club has what you need. • Choose a club that’s appropriate for your age and health. A good club should ask you to fill out a medical questionnaire, possibly including an okay from your doctor. If you have medical problems, find a club that has the equipment and personnel to provide first aid. But be leery of a club that insists you take an expensive stress test from them, whether you need one or not. • Check out the staff. Are they just bodybuilders who look good, or are they well-trained fitness experts? A good credential is certification by a credible organization such as the American College of Sports Medicine. • Talk to club members to find out how they like it; be sure to ask if the club delivers on its promises. • Ask for a free introductory workout or an inexpensive trial membership. It’s the best way to see if the club works for you. URBANSOCIALITES.COM | 41



One may be surprised to learn that you can take vitamins for weight loss. It is a true fact that there are certain vitamins that can be introduced into the system to improve your natural ability to burn weight. It does not always have to be a chemical compound or some foreign substance that stimulates your body’s ability to lose weight. It is something as simple and holistic as a vitamin found in nature. Here is a list of some vitamins that if used properly with diet and exercise can help you achieve your weight loss goals. VITAMIN C A diet high in vitamin C can actually help your body process fats and sugars. Vitamin C plays an important role in converting glucose into energy. Without a proper amount of vitamin C in your system you will be unable to burn up all of that excess glucose. This leads to extra pockets of fat and sugars being stored as calories. VITAMIN B2 This is one of the most important vitamins for weight loss that you can provide your body.This simple nutrient improves your normal thyroid function and increases your metabolism. Your thyroid is the specific gland that dictates how high your metabolism is or is not. Keeping it healthy is vital to your weight loss goals. 42 | URBANSOCIALITES.COM

VITAMIN B3 This vitamin is very similar to vitamin B2. It also helps to regulate and normalize your thyroid hormone production. Combining it with B2 can help to ensure that your body is always manufacturing a caloric burn. This vitamin will also help during the glucose tolerance factor. This occurs when there is too much sugar in your blood, causing your body to burn up large amounts of excess sugar.Vitamins B2 and B3 are crucial for weight loss. VITAMIN B5 Anyone suffering from less than normal levels of B5 will start to experience weight gain. This is due to Vitamin B5’s ability to utilize fat. It encourages the body to burn up all of the excess fat lying around, resulting in weight loss. It also plays a vital role in energy production, which is necessary for anyone trying to exercise and lose weight. VITAMIN B6 The B vitamins are crucial for weight loss. Vitamin B6, like B2 and B3, helps to regulate the thyroid gland. It ensures that your body is like a well-lubricated machine – breaking down fat, excess calories and sugar. This and all of the other vitamins are crucial for your weight loss goals. You must be sure to take all of them in order to achieve real success.



THE NEXT GENERATION Looking to travel to exciting destinations worry free and for a good value? Look no more, cruising is for you. A cruise offers a stress free vacation where all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the view. There are so many activities on the cruise ships that often you have to find time to relax. If you like sports, many of the ships have basketball courts, golf, bowling, running tracks, rock climbing walls, full service gyms with saunas, spas and some even have ice skating rinks. 44| URBANSOCIALITES.COM

How about entertainment? Many ships have activities and shows throughout the day including; Broadway/Vegas type shows, comedy clubs, full discothèques, karaoke, films under the stars not to mention the world-class casinos. Food is plentiful from morning to night. You can eat as much as you want for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and in between. Specialty restaurants are often offered on some ships when you want something special there is a small fee for these eateries but the other restaurants are free. Sounds expensive right? It is not. Although prices vary depending on the ship, duration of cruise and destination, hands down this is the best travel value offered today. For the last 30 years cruising for vacations has grown by leaps and bounds. Cruise ships have been competing to out do each other in terms of size, entertainment, cuisine and preferred destinations. Modern day cruise ships are a destination within themselves. Their sizes range from smaller yacht types like the all suite luxury cabins of the Seabourn Sojourn with 450 passengers to massive cities at sea such as Carnival Cruise Lines “Magic” which accommodates 3,652 passengers, Norwegian Cruise Lines “Epic” houses 4,200 passengers and Royal Caribbean’s “Allure of the Seas” that houses 6,400 passengers.

No longer is it a vacation for retired people. Cruising is for everyone now more then ever. The destinations are amazing.

The passengers on these cruise ships are getting younger each year. No longer is it a vacation for retired people. Cruising is for everyone now more then ever. The destinations are amazing. Sailing from all over the world, there are many ports of call available. They sail to the Caribbean to Europe to Africa to South America to Asia and be-

yond. You can go anywhere. You can take a 3-day cruise for a quick getaway or a 7-day week long vacation. Or, you can take a more extensive holiday of two weeks or more. It is all about the experience. Cruise vacationers will tell you once you start you won’t want to stop. In addition to the destinations, food and entertainment you get with the cruise package what most people find very important is the bonding one makes with friends during the cruise. Most recently there have been several travel groups popping up offering special events on board for their groups. These groups of travelers may be onboard for a chess event, gay & lesbian group, dancing teams or an authors group. Many of the group’s special programming is exclusive to the members of the group. Recently ZenBiz Travel produced a series of cruises for the LGBT community called Nubian Dreams Cruise. They offer concerts, films, seminars, beach parties and excursions specifically for their group. Their next event is sailing from San Juan, Puerto Rico next October and is called the “Ultimate Halloween Caribbean Cruise.” (www.uhcc. This is a 7-day cruise sailing to St. Thomas, Barbados, St. Kitts, St. Lucia & St. Maarten. They will also have very special programming during this time of the year. It will feel like Carnival at sea. Vacations at sea are a wonderful experience. For a cruise or a land destination please contact: Laurence Pinckney President, ZenBiz Travel, LLC 917-653-0869



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DATING TIPS: DEALING WITH ONLINE REJECTION Words by Devon A Brown So you’ve heard all the success stories, now you decide to get in on the action. You did your best to make sure your online profile was interesting and your pictures were attractive. It’s been a whole week, but so far no one has tried to contact you. You start to question your decision to try online dating and begin to weigh your options against going back to the usual bars and clubs. However, you can’t help but wonder what went wrong? Not to worry, this is normal for online dating and these dating tips for women will help you understand the true meaning of dating online. First of all, nothing went wrong. It is normal to wait a couple of weeks before you see a legitimate response to your profile. Since the people online don’t actually know you, you can’t realistically take this as rejection. Just think about it, there are usually thousands of users on dating websites,

and, just like you, they are filtering through profiles. Would you rather them contact you for fun? Or would you rather hear from them because they have a real interest? Even when you’re anxious to get the show on the road, the worst mistake you can make is contacting people over and over.This can be a quick turn off (and could possibly make you seem like a stalker.) This may seem comical in your eyes, but site developers take this very serious and will even cancel your membership if they receive reports about multiple messages. However, this is a good thing. You never know who is contacting you online. So it’s good that the site has a plan in place to prevent potential offenders.

you are likely to receive a response. However, if you don’t, this too is normal and there is no need to take it personal. If you get rejection emails, you should consider editing your profile. Be sure to have information about yourself that is interesting and honest. You may want to use a different profile picture as well. If you need help with your profile, consider browsing other profiles for eye-catching details. You may also want to take advantage of any advice that the site has to offer when creating your profile. Remember, there’s only so much the Internet can do for you. So don’t give up so easily.

Another tip: is to contact as many people as you find interesting. Contacting one person at a time could definitely have you waiting weeks for a response. However, if you send out as many as 20 contact initiations, URBANSOCIALITES.COM | 47

Retro sexual issue