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ECONOMY
I’M NOT SAYING SHE’S A GOLD-DIGGER, but... Story by CLYDE ANDERSON
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often hear from my single friends that it’s hard finding a good woman. I guess to put it in context it really depends on what you’re looking for and what you define as “good.” In these conversations they usually express, “Women are only looking for one thing.” While it also may be true that some men are only looking for one thing our female counterparts may be searching for another. There’s a good chance that the woman you are attracted to is only attracted to your wallet. You may be thinking, if women do really choose men because of the size of their bank account, shouldn’t men be thankful and not upset about it? But the question becomes, why would anyone want to date someone who is with you solely based on materialistic possessions and what you can do for her financially? The odds are that the relationship won’t last long. When a guy is being overly generous with his money and buys expensive items to impress a woman, in a sense, he is saying to her, “I’m not good enough for you so I will use money to compensate.” Here are some tips to help you navigate the landmines of a gold-digger:
Watch out for the professional dater Her agenda is to enjoy as many social, recreational and culinary opportunities as she can, with no strings attached, while she bides her time, looking for the “real” Mr. Right. You will recognize this because she is more interested in the location of the date and activities of the evening than getting to know you. Plan a date on a budget Consider a first date at the zoo, picnic in the park, coffee shop, a long walk by a body of water or working on an artistic project together. The ideas are limitless. Taking her to dinner on the first date puts you in the same category as the others that came before you. Taking the time to be creative shows your uniqueness. If she seems bothered, bored or withdrawn, she may be there just for the cash. Don’t think money will get you out of the “Friend Zone” Some men in their own neediness and desperation for love will dig deep into their pockets in hopes of being romantically involved with a woman who has made it clear that she only wants to be friends. He mistakenly assumes she’ll change her mind if he does things for her. It’s very difficult to get out of this zone and nine times out of ten money isn’t the answer. If she begins to talk about the other guys in her life or
URBANLUX
hasn’t allowed you to kiss her and it’s been a month, keep it moving. 90 Day Rule? There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting to have sex. However, if you get the feeling that you have to pay before you can play, this is a red flag. The right woman for you will indeed make you work for her virtue but won’t set a condition of buying expensive gifts in exchange. Gentleman, not all women are like the ones described above but there are some that adhere to the gold-digger practices. You must take it upon yourself to open your eyes and read the writing on the wall. You’ll save yourself time, money and headache. Visit Clyde Anderson, Economic Renewal Specialist, at clydeandersononline.com.