The Unspoken Fear Undocumented immigrants discuss their experiences living in uncertainty ARTICLE & PHOTOS BY ANIBAL GONZALEZ • DESIGN BY ABHISHEK MYNAM Editor's Note: Given the sensitive nature of the topic, Santiago's name has been changed to protect the student's identity.
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ere in our beloved Bay Area, known for its diversity and progressive culture, immigration is a powerhouse which contributes to its beauty. But as much as we as a community accept each other and refrain from discriminating based on legal status, it does not take away from the fact that legal persecution is still practiced. This reality is something many individuals all over the Bay deal with and our close community at UPA is no exception. In this piece, I wish to discuss not just the statistical aspects of immigration but rather dig into the reality immigrants share from an emotional standpoint: mental strain that is applied on a daily basis. Fear is an emotion that I found is greatly shared in the community, beginning with association. Undocumented immigrants are very skeptical of seeking aid regarding their immigration status as they fear the association of not having documentation. Many avoid the topic entirely and try to stay under the radar at all times. T h i s became vividly evident to me as I attempted to set up interviews with individuals to discuss their experiences. Unfortunately, I was met, time after time, with the same response: “my relatives do not feel comfortable talking about this.” It opened my eyes to the fear of associ-
Maria Murillo’s boyfriend jumped over the border fence to be with her. 35 | in-depth
ation—that mentioning anything related to their immigration could link them to the U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) or other authorities that would get them deported or in legal trouble. Fortunately, I was able to find a few individuals that were kind enough to sit with me and share their experiences coming from the standpoints of a teacher, student and family relative. All my sources immigrated at a young age and have been living here most of their lives. The U.S. has become their second home— something I, myself, can relate to as an immigrant from Nicaragua. The teacher who was able to sit and discuss with me was Spanish teacher Maria Murillo who explained the lack of choice she had in her immigration from Mexico. “I was undocumented because, in 1988, I was still a little bit of a minor and only had six months left to become of age, and at that time, my father did not ask me if I wanted to come to the United States or not,” Murillo said. “Simply, ‘I am the father and you do what the father says.’ So, father told us we had to go. So, here I was—we could say that I was undocumented without choice.” Murillo has mourned the life she could have lived in her homeland. “Even these days, I feel that I was ripped off of my homeland, which was rightfully mine,” Murillo said. “Of course, now seeing the beauty of my country through videos and images, well, it makes me sad.” As those words came out, I could feel the somberness in her voice. Murillo lived 33 years of her life in a place where she did not want to be. Being brought to the United States by their parents in hopes of a better future is a harsh reality that is known throughout the immigrant community, like Murillo, who has lived 33 years of her life in a place where she did not want to be. Nevertheless, the feelings of homesickness were never mended. Murillo had to move on since back home, there were not many financial opportunities left for her. Upon immigrating, Murillo also became wary due to the prevalence of misinformation regarding how to obtain citizenship. Traditionally, there are three ways of obtaining citizenship: individual petition, alien relative petition and asylum. “When there are people that are undocumented just getting here, in most cases, there is no information on how to get started in any kind of legal process,” Murillo said. “This is one of the first fears in which one as an undocumented immigrant goes up against. The first fear is that there is no information or much misinformation. So, when they misinform you there is no other option but to wait.” So, that was what she did—Murillo ended up waiting for more than 20 years to secure her citizenship in the United States. She first attempted to have peace of mind through her brother who came here before she did; he was more legally stable and was able to inquire about citizenship for her. “Asking for a relative,” or Petition for Alien Relative, is a term used in the legal system to represent the action of wanting to change the legal status of a relative
