Hey Brice! How’s Life? Ah, you know—life’s alright... Pretty hectic with things, but that’s how I always pictured it to be, you know? I never thought it would be easy. I prepared myself for the absolute worst when I made the decision to be an artist with a capital A. And now that the future is now, I couldn’t be happier with how it’s all turned out. I’ve been engaged with making photographs, having exhibitions, and giving everything I produce purpose & intense thought. I also get to dive into what my friends are doing, get in their heads, and play around with that. This city though… This rent that’s due every month, rent paid for where I sleep, and rent paid for where I make art. Because of that, I keep a job. I keep a job to pay those things off —an “honest wage” and all that. So it was appropriate, serendipitous even, that you came at me with an application for an interview. I would love more than anything to apply myself right out of the workforce. Because having this job, giving your time up “to people who don’t care if I live or die” (as the song goes), has been the biggest thorn in my side since I moved to Los Angeles—and is the one thing I would like to change. Hopefully, once I’m finished with this application, I’ll be hired. Hired to start this life I’m so close to having. What’s new in LA? I can’t wish for anything better. Actually, I can. If Los Angeles were New Orleans, where I’m from, all would be right. In LA, there’s a hustle here, a pace, which I’ve never settled into. LA is amazing, though. All the folks that are out here living in their own little worlds... All my favorite artists are here, making work and contributing to this sprawling melting pot of a metropolis. Los Angeles is a great place to be an artist, because there will always be someplace for folks to go, always some cheap rent, and always a studio up for grabs. This place is so massive; that notion won’t go away for a long time. As for right now, how is LA? We are having an insanely mild winter. While the rest of the US is freezing to death, we’re heading to the beach.
Brice Bischoff email@example.com Glassell Park,
Los Angeles sunshine
born and raised
✓ ✓ ✓ ✓
✓ Keeping a keen eye
Staying engaged and motivated Adding something relevant to the dialogue about art
The medium of photography—its malleability, its transcendence, its ability to depict and obscure, its ability to show what cannot be seen, it’s spirituality, it’s death
7 days a week
✓ Yes, I want a holiday, please accept this sheet requesting
Everything that came before
Everything that comes after
No more customers!
No more customers!
It’s not safe for your head.
My coworkers can see when I am emotional. Coworkers are concious of how I am feeling.
It is tough for people to know how I am feeling. I get why people do what they do.
I understand why coworkers act the way they do.
Coworkers often talk about their problems with me. I am disinterested in other people’s problems. I expect to be acknowledged for good work.
I enjoy it when others jabber about my accomplishments. I gots to hear that I does a good job.
‘Tis important to receive praise from others. I expect the worst.
Most people have difficulty staying positive during bad times. Trusting most others is most unwise. Others will often let you down.
It is important not to be overly pressured in your work. People need to slow they roll at work. I prefer to work at a steady pace. I unlike being rushed at work.
The best leaders rely on the “facts”, not their intuition.
Do you have any upcoming shows or exhibitions? I just had some work in photo la; I exhibited there with Cirrus Gallery. I also just finished a music video for Care Of Editions, out of Berlin, for their artist Ezra Buchla. Really excited about that. They handed out songs to artists that don’t usually make it to video, and asked them to do whatever they felt went along with the song. As for upcoming exhibitions there’s something brewing in New York City with RH Contemporary Art. What’s Next? I’m still working on the Glassell Park series, and trying to figure out this job thing! [laughs] Any shout-outs? Yeah, my family back in New Orleans, my friends out here in LA, and last but not least, my boo.
Yves! How’s Life? Life’s ok, even though I’ve been getting quite wet these last few days… The rainy season is starting here, which is a very welcome alternative for this desert dweller. Living here’s still quite cheap compared to ol’ Europe, but I’m really starting to miss the Belgian beers & bars. I probably shouldn’t complain too much—we’ve got cheap rum, Pisco, and coca leaves to make up for the loss. And as always, drawing as much as I can, and steadily getting myself dirty in my improvised silkscreen studio. What’s new in Arequipa? Not that much… I’m not really a big fan of the giant shopping malls popping up like mushrooms all over Peru every other second or so. Arequipa is quite a conservative town—people here aren’t that keen on new things.
Although I haven’t been using illegal drugs for many years now, LSD & weed have always kept me away from crime.
I don’t think so. I doubt that they would even let me enter the country—the friendly lads of the NSA aren’t big fans of my work.
At the moment, I’m living in the desert, so the heat doesn’t allow my brain to work at a 100%. When the sun goes down it gets better. Peak of brain activity: around midnight. Sisa – Antwerp/Belgium Sint-Lukas Superior Institute of Visual Arts –Brussels/Belgium
Photography & advanced hallucinogens.
Photography – Master’s Degree
After studying arts for quite some years, I realized that you don’t learn that much at school, so I didn’t see the
need for a post-degree. Sometimes, I have the impression that the longer you stay at school the more retarded you become. Business has never been my biggest talent…
So for that, my lovely wife,
descendant of a Peruvian highland tribe, guides me.
Not really a big specialist in this program Only used it when I had to complete an online interview.
Those people really know how to trade.
Windows: very distracting—can’t stop myself from opening
more windows. Photoshop: like an extension of my body & mind. Illustrator: interesting program, know how to use it, but prefer my rOtring pens.
As a matter of fact, I have. It’s quite cozy, but in a dusty way. He’s got quite a sick sense of humor... You love it or you hate it. I really don’t want to work for the Yves Decamps Company, because that Yves Decamps guy is impossible to work with. He is totally allergic to corporate bullshit, and to be patient is a torture for him. Many years ago,
when I was working in a call center for a well-known credit card company, I told a customer it would be interesting for her to shove her credit card where the sun don’t shine—and that she should limit herself to barter trade.
C NS O N A- F I pe D rs E on N al T I on A L ly
I wannabe to be the boss.
I need opportunities for advancement.
I am driven to obtain the highest position possible in positions possible. I prefer problems that necessitate lots of thoughts.
It is crucial that my job involves thinking about complex problems.
I like work assignments where the solution is really fucking hard to find. It is best to withhold uncool opinions.
I avoid expressing my opinions in fear the boss might disagree. I will agree with my boss to prevent a conversation. Focusing on small issues is like unproductive.
I ainâ€™t obsessing over the minor parts of my job fool. It is not worth obsessing over every last detail.
It is frustrating when corporations change existing procedures. Others would say I prefer the old way of doing thangs.
I generally dislike it when general policies change generally. I prefer familiar tasks to new familliar tasks.
I hafta to know what tasks I will be doing each day. I prefer to work on redundant work tasks.
I set my work aside to assist workers with their work.
People should take time away from their time to assist their coworkers.
Do you have any upcoming shows or exhibitions? I’m not really focused on exhibiting anytime in the near future. At the moment, I’m more interested in book & zine publishing. What’s Next? Just continuing to draw & work on my book. I’m also working on another project to feed my family, that has nothing to do with drawing or art. Any shout-outs? Never do something because you’re supposed to!!
Hey MarQ! How are you? I’m good. In transition, and setting a few things in motion, but I’m good. What’s new in (Grilchadelphia) wherever you’re at? Man, I’ve been through, like, four cities since the last time I spoke with you. Things are generally good wherever I am, though. It’s cold—and it usually isn’t this bad, but we’re all maintaining.
I would use discipline to correctify employeesâ€™ performance concerns. My job performance would double-up if I were paid more.
People will work way harder if they are promised way more.
I have blurted things out before that I wish I had not blurted. I have never not not been dissatisfied with a job. I have never had a bad day at work. All of my coworkers love me.
It is crucial to have a position of absolute power. Absolutely I belong in a position of authority.
My rank in the corporation is important to me.
I enjoy work projects that require little or no thought. I enjoy work projects that require little or no thought. I enjoy work projects that require little or no thought.
I avoid correcting workers when I know they could not be wronger. I correct the boss when I know he or she is tripping.
I state my opinions to the boss even if he or she might disagree. People exagggggggggggggerate the importance of dtails. I skert getting trapped in conversations about specifics. People are too concerned with details.
Business success relies on avoiding change like the plague.
How would you describe the pace at which you work? I’m able to work in a fast paced environment, and am able to multi-task. I’m used to focusing on several different things at the same time. How do you handle stress and pressure? I tell this to everyone, and it’s hard to believe, but I simply inhale & exhale. What else can you do? Things have to be done. Best to just focus in and do them, instead of worrying about doing them—or even worse, someone else doing them. What motivates you? The ceiling fan… I watch that and think about the day when it stops spinning, or when the heat stops working. I’m big on comfort. I don’t like feeling uncomfortable, so I conform things to my space, and deal with them in certain pockets. Are you a self-motivator? Definitely. If I can envision something, it’s going to get done. I have several projects that have been in the works, and I’m close to wrapping them all up. My chest won’t let me rest. Whether it’s business or pleasure… I like to intermingle the two. What do you find are the most difficult decisions to make? When creating, the hardest part is always figuring out how to mold the picture. What pieces to keep, and which to throw away. What did you like or dislike about your previous job? Loved my previous job. Great team. We’d throw BBQs, I’d bring my grill in, and we’d sit and have beers. We’d all watch the World Cup or the Sweet Sixteen college games at work—eating pizza and stuff. All we had to do was make sure the ship stayed afloat… [laughs] Which was most/least rewarding? Most rewarding was meeting all the folks I met. Least was the pay wasn’t all the way there, but we were a great team. What was the biggest accomplishment/failure in this position? My biggest accomplishment was maintaining it all, and being diligent—no one could take that from me. I saw a lot of heads roll while I was there. What problems have you encountered at work? Ah man, have you ever had to put someone in a headlock? If you could relive the last ten years of your life, what would you do differently?
Absolutely nothing. These have been some of the best years of my life. If the people who know you were asked why you should be hired, what would they say? That I’m disciplined, a hard worker, and that whatever I’m asked to do is going to get done. They would also say that I’m always on time, even for little things. I’m there early or right on time. Describe a difficult work situation/project and how you overcame it. I was doing some A/V work for a client, and the place where I was supposed to be getting the main feed from went dead. I had an hour until this project was supposed to take place. So I got in my car, weaved traffic, got there, got everything tested, and had the event on seamlessly. It was hilarious because it was like a cartoon watching how my eyes lit up as soon as everything was working again. I went from running downstairs, getting in my car, zipping across town, and getting on the other side by jumping over people. Real cartoonish! What are your salary requirements, both short-term and long-term? Short-term salary would have to start at 85k, long-term: 250k plus. Are you overqualified for this job? Probably. Do you have any upcoming shows or exhibitions? Hopefully, I’ll go on a short tour, and have a couple of art displays— planning on SXSW. My prime motivation for these shows is just to kick it with folks who have similar interests, and can put each other onto things. That’s what I do this for—to zone with folks on a similar wavelength. What’s Next? JustPlayWitit, which is produced by my friend Blockhead... It’s just gonna be some real fun. Some niceness with the pen and some crazy beats. Any shout-outs? Shouts to everyone who texted my phone over the holidays, love y’all!
_unfun, 0331©, Bay Tags, Digitaldoes, Don’t Sink, Doomsday1973, germanfriday, Lepublicnme, Luna Park, Mrxclownxface, Neron One, firstname.lastname@example.org, pik warmte, vitostreet. Thank you.
Hey Kwame! How are you? Iâ€™m doing pretty good man, just trying to stay busy. Whatâ€™s new in Phoenix? Nothing much... Just working, and going back & forth between Arizona & California.
Businesses are too quick to change to new organizational fads.
Changing an organization’s bidness strategy causes too many problems I like having a routine job with routine duties. I prefer an unchanging set of duties. I prefer routine routines.
At times, you have to let others struggle with their routines. Others can assist each other too much.
When a coworker asks for assistance, sometimes you have to say, “Yea-nope.” I spend much of my leisure time playing make-believe. Others are not as inquisitive as I am. I need creative outlets.
I need to finish my work ahead of deadlines.
I sometimes postpone postponing a new project. I need to complete projects earls. I conceal all emotion.
Others are unaware of my emotional state of being. Folks can see how I am feeling.
I try to avoid getting trapped into dead end convos. I waste time cheering up others who are unhappy.
Wasting time trying to understand my coworkers’ feelings is important.
How would you describe yourself? I’m very outgoing, but at the same time, very introverted & alone. Describe a typical workweek. A typical workweek for me consists of a two-hour bus ride across town at night, working in the stockroom (occasionally in the cooler & freezer), clocking out in the AM, and then going home to attempt to get some sleep. Describe your work style. I like to work alone depending on the project or task at hand. My work style changes depending on the work being done. Do you work well with other people? Yes, I work well with other people. But obviously not all people… It depends on the
person’s attitude and demeanor. What is your greatest strength? I think my greatest strength is empathy. I am always trying to put myself in someone else’s shoes, and see things from a different viewpoint or perspective than my own. How will your greatest strength help you perform? My greatest strength helps me perform by my being more considerate of how my actions will affect others around me. Do you take work home with you? No. I try to leave work at work, and focus on other things at home. What is the worst thing that you have ever gotten away with? [laughs] This is the most self-incriminating
question ever... Maybe, falling asleep, in the bathroom, on the toilet, while on the clock. [still laughing] Give some examples of teamwork. Some examples of teamwork, to me, would be: everybody working on a smaller piece of a larger project, and doing his or her best to make sure that by doing their job, others are able to best do their job. And, as a result, the whole project goes along smoothly. For instance, if I have to write a paper or do a presentation, and I am in a group or on a team, everybody has to play his or her part, or have his or her own unique contribution to the presentation. There would be people responsible for the information & resources, people who construct the aesthetic of the presentation, as well as the oral presenter... And when everybody does his or her part, everyone wins! How do you evaluate success? To me, success is doing what you love to do, and not sacrificing your passion for money, material gain, or superficial means. What challenges are you looking for in a position? I am looking for the challenge to grow. I want to communicate better with people—and overall, to be challenged in all aspects of my life. Where do you see yourself five years from now? Five years from now I see myself somewhere on tour. How do you plan to achieve this? By networking, making connections, and working extremely hard to get there. What are your salary expectations? I’m not sure, really... I just want to have enough to be comfortable, and for my family & friends to be comfortable too. I also want to have enough to help other people, who I may not personally know, to be comfortable as well. I want to have enough to help myself and others. Are you willing to travel? Oh, most definitely! That’s a must. Do you have any upcoming shows or exhibitions? Not at the moment. I just recently opened up for Joey Fatts & A$AP Ant in Pasadena, California. But other than that, I have nothing planned anytime soon, that I know of... What’s Next? I am working valiantly, diligently, and tirelessly on my next project. This time around, I really want to speak on subjects with more meaning, and come with a clear message. As opposed to my last release, where my main focus really was on just showing people that I could rap & sing. Now, my focus is on letting people get to know me, and on educating them on important matters as well. Any shout-outs? Well, shout-out UNDR RPBLC for fucking with me—much love to Jacob. Also shout-out to Ill Bred clothing for always hooking me up with some of the freshest apparel & headwear in the whole 562. A big shout-out to my producers, Chucky Beatz & IDLEHANDZ. And a shout-out to Joey Fatts as well, for giving me the opportunity to open up his show, and get some more experience under my belt.
Hey LiarTownUSA! How are you? I am doing very well, thank you. I’m reaching for the stars, and keeping the dream alive. Every day, in every way, I try to take it to the top of the limit. Am I working hard on a variety of projects? Yes. But I am also forming political alliances, and having some wonderful breakfasts with some of the most powerful people in Los Angeles. I am friends with the mayor, whom I call “Tony”, because he insists upon it. We’ve been laughing a lot, and hanging out—just relaxing & chatting about some of the many things we have in common. I’ve been writing my own weather reports. What’s new in LA? Well, things are very glamorous right now. There’s a lot of glitter, a lot of star power, a lot of A-list charity events. I try to keep things in perspective, of course, because I am, by nature, a down-to-earth person. But sometimes I’ll go outside at night, and listen to the gentle pitter-patter of my neighbor peeing from his porch because who-knowswhat’s-wrong with his toilet.
Sean Tejaratchi Rainbow Brown,
Darrick Manchapter, Cobb “Duker” Goots, Roy Oven, Albert & Ira Phepner, Cinnamon Joe,
Cinammon Joe, Roof Kitchins, Milt “Halfcourt” Cortland, Hunce Luger, Swanny Griggs, Dildyn Griggs, Shart Hockley, Dirt Ferris, Wardancer, Scoon, Dr. Fiasco, DJ Not Without My Daughter, Senator Redding
Toughskins Jr. (R, OK), daddysgirl19999
c/o Margarine PO Box 3624 Gravy Caves State Park, Vampire Island, MA, 01031 626) 555-0550
Mocha & Lassie Cripps Memorial Vocational High School
Spring 1994 - Summer 1995
Fall 1996 Semester
Olmec Online Puppetry College
Studies & Intersectionality,
School of Life
for Excellence in Naturism
Working towards a PhD in Gender
The 1991 Gary Coleman Award
English, American English, British English, Australian English, American Spanish, Farsi
Some background: I am a naturist, or “nudist”, though I do not
like that term. I was not raised by nudists, but instead became one by open, free choice, because at some point in my life, I was consumed with the desire to celebrate my natural, unsheathed form. Nudism & naturism are a way of life for me. I believe for various reasons that humans can live a better life through social nudity. Is it about body acceptance? Yes. Is it about social equality? Yes. Is it about getting closer to nature? Yes. I am a true naturist, meaning I do not get nude for sexual reasons. While it is true that in many naturist activities, swingers infiltrate activities–I want to make it clear that I am not a swinger. For the record, my flaccid penis is slightly longer (5 inches) than the average length (3.5 inches according to Wikipedia). While I have repeatedly been forced to explain all this in what is now an expensive, drawn-out, and above all, ridiculous legal saga fueled & perpetuated primarily by a fearful & closed-minded local sheriff. Who, for his own unknown personal reasons, is completely unable to openly accept the open, honest beauty of the nude human body. I, nevertheless, accept & wear my indecent exposure convictions with pride.
Gary Olmec Puppets
Bear Mountain Cat Breeders Association Sandpiper Naturist Rights Coalition
Hercules Mood Clinic
Dallas, TX Lanny Wendigo
Cumshoak Real Estate
Bakersfield, CA Hussein Jeffers Eagle Rock Montessori Rehab Eagle Rock, CA
Shemmler Horse and Mule
1997-2000 Horse Salesman. Explained, demonstrated, and sold horses to both prospective horse owners and established stables. 1997-2000
Avian Specialties, Ltd.
2000-2001 Bird Lotion Salesman, Responsible for popular, signature line of moisturizing claw & beak unguents.
May 2001-July 2001
Data Analyst IT Supervisor
DataFlute Laser Solutions.
July 2001-January 2002
Data Analyst, Netflume Online Solumptions. February 2002-April 2002
June 2002-September 2004
January 2005-July 2006
Manager, 2007-2010 Fontanelleâ€™s Maternity Bar.
People who work quickly make a lot of carefree mistakes. People start beasting when they try & work fast. I trust big data to guide my instincts.
It is best to avoid making decisions based on intuition.
I feel uncomfortable making decisions based on my intelligence. I cease thinking about a decision once it has been made. I often revisit sexual conversations I have had at work. There is no point dwelling on current mistakes.
You have to risk that cheddar to make that gouda. I avoid giving shits.
I have done what I needed to do when the odds were against me. Friendships ainâ€™t important at work tho.
I do not expect to forge fantastic friendships at the workplace. It is not unpossible to have too many friends at work. All projects should be gangbanged as group work.
Everyone accomplishes more when I work in thier group. I just performs better when working in a group.
An employee who fears being shit-canned will work more harder.
Poor performance indicates that an employee wants to be disciplined. Managers discipline employees who do poor work.
Do you have any upcoming shows, magazines or exhibitions? Starting with January’s advertisement for the artisanal, sex-positive online store “Vermont Pleasures”, I will be handcrafting something heartfelt & lustrous for each issue of Vice Magazine. Of course, I will be posting often to my Tumblr, LiarTownUSA. What’s Next? I’ll be designing a sequel to the recent Adventure Time Encyclopædia, published by Abrams in ‘13. I’m nearly done with design on a book about the vanished Los Angeles amusement park, Pacific Ocean Park. There’s going to be an expanded reprint of the “Sex, Kitchen Gadgets” issue of my zine, Crap Hound. And I’m also working on the Crap Hound Book of Unhappiness, featuring thousands of advertising & vintage commercial art images, to be published by Feral House in late ‘14/early ‘15. Any shout-outs? I want to say thank you to my speech therapist, Christian Pillows! Huge hugs to my sponsor twins, Guernica & Beldyr at AA. Thank you to my sister-wives: Purina, Big Susan, Little Susan & Barbra. All my love to my daughters, Carnitas & Basenji—and my sons Bellagio & Magellan! To Duker Holmo, my MMA coach— thank you and god bless! And to my other sons in Idaho: Sharon, Labio, LaKevin, Corgi & Bingo —your daddy loves you very much!
Hey Vince! How are you? I’m good. What’s new in Venice? They recently repaved Venice Boulevard, so smooth...
( __562__ ) 544 - 2846_
______3901 ½ s centinela _____________
Los Angeles_____________________CA_______________________________90066 _____backend developer_______________________________
Los Alamitos High Los Alamitos CA California Institute of
Cho Il Hagwon- South Korea
Expiration on Contract
the Arts Velencia CA
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lems without clear solutions is fabulous.
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my calling in life through simple assignments.
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sary to discuss every detail of every plan every day.
” deserve what they get.
e too precse about they work maaan.
urself with many details is unproductive.
Do you have any upcoming shows or exhibitions? No. Whatâ€™s Next?
Big collaboration with LaTurbo Avedon that just dropped, a couple interactive music videos in the works, plus I signed some big NDAs that Iâ€™m proud of. Any shout-outs? No.