The Ring By Sophie Breeze
“Next up, we’ve got the Bloody Huntress. Now I know she’s one of the smaller contestants we’ve seen this season, but sources say this feisty little gal doesn’t fuck around. My advice? Hold off on those bets.” The crowd rattled a thousand empty cans as the Bloody Huntress shuffled up the ramp to take her place at the Ring’s edge. Bystanders, shrouded by the smog of their own beer breath, threw their cans through the air. The Bloody Huntress closed her eyes. Metal bounced off of her head. Her hand flashed with a catch. The Bloody Huntress opened her eyes. She turned to a man in the crowd, his muddy stare wide with her, and closed the can in her grip. The Bloody Huntress did not hear the name of her first opponent, only watched as a two-headed hydra slithered up the ramp and took its place in the centre of the Ring. It leaned in with matching forked-tongued grins, hissing for her. The Bloody Huntress held up her fists. The twoheaded hydra tasted the air. Its double lisp stung so loudly that the Bloody Huntress could scarcely hear the sound of the starting bell. She had been flung against the side of the Ring before she realized the match had begun. Skin singing with blood and blood buzzing with heat, the Bloody Huntress could not regain her stance in time for a full-frontal assault. The hydra slipped between her thighs and spiralled one head around each leg, tightening in place. It pulled her apart, splitting her down the middle, her very core cracking. The Bloody Huntress tipped her head back. Her tongue bled with a scream. Trapped in place, she could do nothing but grab onto the Ring until her fists glowed white. The hydra pulled. The Bloody Huntress hung on. The hydra pulled. The Bloody Huntress would not split another inch, not even with blood spilling out from the gaps in her ground teeth.
“Looks like we’ve got a battle of endurance on our hands! Who’ll be the first to break? Place your bets now!” The hydra heads made a harmony of squealing. Their scales began to pop with effort, their tongues stretching, their necks leaning further and further apart as they coiled tighter around her legs. The Bloody Huntress glanced down as the two-headed hydra begun to tear, splitting itself through its centre. Its figure snapped apart in one seamless stroke of cold fibres. The hydra dropped between the Bloody Huntress’s thighs, two tongues limp and four eyes grey. The arena was deafening, rumbling with rising bodies and wordless cheers. The Bloody Huntress stepped away from the edge of the Ring as someone came to take away the body. “Things are heating up in here! Give it up for the Bloody Huntress, folks, and for her next opponent!” The Bloody Huntress took in her view from the centre of the Ring. She raised her fist into the air and held it there, high above her head, as another fighter came up the ramp. The starting bell hadn’t even gone off before she charged, nor had she gotten a good look at what she was attacking. The creature towered over her, too tall to knock out its teeth, so she slammed her foot into its gut. The creature doubled over. Much better. The Bloody Huntress flung herself onto its back. She wrapped her legs around its chest and her hands around its throat.
The creature snapped its giant teeth at her, but couldn’t quite reach over its own shoulder. The Bloody Huntress narrowly dodged its flailing arms long enough to find the pressure point in its neck. She jabbed. The creature snarled. She jabbed harder. The creature howled. With a final jab, the creature sunk to its knees. The Bloody Huntress faced her opponent. She saw for the first time that it only had one eye, and stared back at her now with a single stream of tears running down its face. The Bloody Huntress found the groove her teeth had left in her tongue. She bit down. Before the creature could regain its bearings, the Bloody Huntress spat blood in its eye, blinding it with searing crimson. She threw her right fist against the creature’s face. Its head snapped left. She threw her left fist against the creature’s face. Its head snapped right. She didn’t stop until her knuckles were wet with brain. “That is two for bloody two! Turns out the Bloody Huntress is a fucking killing machine! I know where I’m placing my bets next round, folks!” The Bloody Huntress sprayed the remaining blood in her mouth at the crowd. She pounded her chest with those white brainy knuckles and screamed. The crowd screamed back. When the next contestant walked up the ramp, the Bloody Huntress was already smack bang in the centre of the Ring. Shoulders hunched. Body poised. Fists raised. Teeth red. She eyed up her opponent with sharp eyes, waiting for them to flinch. They had no horns. They had no claws. They had no armour. The Bloody Huntress leaned forward. They did not move. She growled. They did not move.
Once again, the Bloody Huntress did not wait for the starting bell. She shoved her opponent by the shoulders. They stumbled a couple steps back before taking a couple steps forward. She punched her opponent in the stomach. They bent over. They stood back up. She swept her opponent off their feet. They fell to the ground. They got off the ground. The Bloody Huntress snarled in their face. They smiled at her. The Bloody Huntress screamed in their face. They still smiled at her. The Bloody Huntress lowered her fists. She tasted the blood on her teeth. The crowd roared its fury. More blood, they seemed to call, more blood! The Bloody Huntress looked at her opponent. They looked back at her, waiting patiently for her next move. She swallowed the blood on her teeth. Slowly, her body went slack. The person across from the Bloody Huntress lifted their fist. With wide open eyes, the Bloody Huntress simply watched as the blow came across her face, and she started to fall.
The Connections We Forge by Daz
I remember the first time I watched Doctor Who. I was about 6 years old, the 7:30pm ABC News had just finished, and mum was trying to wrestle me into bed. I remember sitting on the floor in front of the TV, staring eagerly at the screen as who I later learned to be David Tennant ran across the screen in a long ass trenchcoat, in front of what I now know to be Rose Tyler’s apartment building. To me at the time it was just some guy in a trenchcoat running in front of some random British brick building when I was meant to be asleep. It was forbidden. And exciting. That was all I got to see before mum got me out of the room. I remember thinking that one day I’d be a big kid, big enough to watch that show and understand what was going on. Low and behold, about 3 years later I started watching Doctor Who. Matt Smith’s Doctor had just been announced, and my dad decided it was time for a proper education. And I loved 9. He was harsh and stuck by his morals, he didn’t deviate for one second. But he was so lovable and energetic and was honestly someone that I wanted to grow up and be like. He was affectionate, but he had lines he wouldn’t cross, not for anyone. He instead bent the universe to his will to make it all work. But then 10 came on, and that memory came back. When I was watching 9 it was niggling at the back of my head, drumming like the beat of a song I couldn’t quite remember. But when Tennant went running across in front of Rose’s apartment building in the 2nd episode of 10, I knew that’s what it was. And I knew that in that moment, I’d connected to something I’d dreamed about as a kid. I think it was the only goal I set myself when I was a small child that I actually managed to accomplish. I loved 10, and 11. To me, 11 was an adorable puppy dog with a killer side. His excitement and eagerness to do everything and anything was one that I could relate to. The times that his companions showed him that they could help, that he wasn’t alone, those made me feel safe. And he would tear the world apart for everyone he loved. But then 12 happened. And I couldn’t stand it when 12 became The Doctor. I think it was the pure disconnect I felt from him. The reason I love Doctor Who is because I could understand their reactions to situations, and sympathise with their actions. But when 12 became The Doctor, the lack of empathy and understanding of other people really bugged me. He relied on his companions to provide all of the actual personality, and he was just a grumpy, disconnected old man. And it breaks that 6 year old heart, as much as it does my 21 year old heart, that I can’t keep connecting to the ever evolving character that I love.
The Hobbit Parody by Lydia Gould
Verse: Sometimes you get what you want Sometimes you get what you don’t Sometimes these Dwarves roll up at your door! They eat your food, drink your wine They sing and have a good time, time Till there’s nothin’ at all Pre-pre-chorus: He used to be so in control No one could ever touch him He’d tell himself he’d never go On one of those adventures! Pre-chorus: He ended up riding a pony, Headed for the mountains To fight the goblins, orcs and wargs, And reclaim Erebor! Chorus: He is Belladonna’s son, he’s a hobbit on the run! Reclaim, reclaim Erebor! Meets a dragon, finds a ring Does some awesome burgling Reclaim, reclaim Erebor!
Verse: Sometimes he has great ideas Sometimes he’s almost in tears Sometimes he Just can’t figure it out The moon is aligned And there’s no doubt he will find The door! Pre-chorus: Baby, he ended up a fighter-hero Though he aint outspoken Outsmarted Smaug and found the gold And reclaimed Erebor! Chorus: He won’t quit until it’s done, he’s a hobbit on the run Reclaim, reclaim Erebor! He’s an expert barrel rider Saves the dwarves from giant spiders Reclaim, reclaim Erebor! Pre-pre-chorus: Let’s just pretend he didn’t faint at battle of five armies Which in the book was just a page But made a 3 hour movie! Chorus: Though it wasn’t always fun, he got home just as he’d come Reclaimed, reclaimed Erebor! Now he has a tale to tell And a chest of gold as well Reclaimed, reclaimed Erebor!
Outer Wilds Review by Elijah Gemmil
As I worked on my Engineering degree, I didn’t normally make time to play games. I mean, why bother anyway? I’d grown so cynical after some disappointing games in 2020, and wondered if maybe I’d finally “outgrown” video games. They were fun for a while, but after 2 years of university, I’ve had to prioritise my study. While I’d previously experienced joy with the open world of Skyrim, the puzzles of Portal 2, and the exploration of Subnautica, I’d never feel like that again. Thank God for Outer Wilds. Outer Wilds is a first-person adventure game from Mobius Digital. In it, you play an alien that has just gotten access to his first space
ship. Then, roughly 22 minutes after exploring your solar system, the sun goes supernova, exploding to destroy you and the rest of the map. However, that’s not game over. The clock winds back and you have to start all over again. You are now stuck in a Groundhog Day time loop and are free to explore at your own leisure! If this sounds fun to you, go and buy it! It’s available on PlayStation, XBOX, PC and is coming soon to Switch! . If you don’t want to read anymore, and want to go in completely blind (which you should), know that this is an intelligent, creative, beautiful game that you should experience. But if this doesn’t convince you, I’ll try and elaborate on why this game is worth your time.
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If there’s one thing that I love about Outer Wilds, it’s the hands-off approach it takes in guiding you. The game never tells you what it is you should be doing, but if you explore, you’ll almost definitely find clues to hidden secrets, and your curiosity (not a map marker) will be what pushes you in the right direction. There may be times that you get stuck on a problem or can’t reach a certain area, but if you investigate elsewhere, chances are you’ll find a scrap of knowledge to hint what your next step should be. And that’s really what Outer Wilds is about. Knowledge. Like I said, EVERYTHING gets reset when you die, you don’t keep any special keys, talents, gear or experience points, you’ll just know a little bit more about the solar system each time, and that should be enough to get you further than your last attempt. And if your memory is bad, that’s okay! All the significant discoveries are detailed on your ship’s computer. It will even mark areas where you’ve missed vital clues, so you’ll often be revisiting old areas with new ideas of how to traverse it. As for the map you explore, it’s fantastic. It’s not the biggest map I’ve seen, but each of the environments offer unique challenges that shake up the formula and keep you on your toes. The map subtly reminded me of Terry Pr-
-atchett’s Discworld books, in that each world has its own unique set of physically inherent rules and complications that make sense with how they’re presented. For example, near the sun, there are two planets that orbit each other closely. When the time loop starts, one is covered in sand, and the other is made entirely of rock. As the loop progresses, the sand gets pulled onto the rock planet by its gravity, creating an “hourglass system” that blocks off (or opens up) pathways depending on what time you go there!
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While exploration is a huge part of the experience, there will also be times you’re expected to think outside the box for creative solutions. There will be points that you’ve found all the knowledge you can, and you just have to connect the dots and come up with a creative solution. Towards the “end” of my playthrough, I was faced with a very unique challenge, and I didn’t think it was impossible, I just remember thinking:
I would love to write more about this game and how special it is, but doing so would just ruin the fun. Outer Wilds is a game that I can’t just tell you about. It’s something you have to experience for yourself. You have to play this game. You have to figure out how to properly traverse the solar system, how to use your equipment to solve its puzzles. You have to feel the rush of visiting a new area and dropping your jaw at the beauty of its design and how the hidden paths and puzzles fit so neatly together. You have to run a fine-tooth comb over this until every piece of the mystery starts falling into place, and work towards a bittersweet ending that will stick with you long after you put the controller down. So yeah. That’s how Outer Wilds restored my faith in video games.
Sure enough, using knowledge of one of the planets, some ace flying, and some intense concentration, I managed to reach my destination, and it was one of my favourite moments in a video game. It felt so rewarding because it wasn’t just an obstacle course or line puzzle like in The Witness, it relied on you learning about the solar system to complete your goal (like in Breath of the Wild). In my opinion, games that encourage you to progress by becoming engrossed in the setting are the best kind. For too long, I’ve completed games by following map markers, GPS routes or linear paths, but very rarely do I have to progress by absorbing all the details and using my brain. If there was one thing I didn’t like about the game, it’s how easy you can miss important moments. For example, there are opportunities here only present for a few seconds, and even if I had the right idea, I missed it because I assumed I would have more time to confirm my suspicions. If the game made these windows a bit larger, or could make the physics involved a bit easier to understand ( just a little) maybe I would’ve progressed sooner.
by Li Barki / @blankdoesarts
Human Sacrifice by Sophie Breeze
Dare I say it, I think I know what She’d say, I anticipate the flash of black, Her eyes slipping to my altar, my flustered fingers begging, twisting Her totems, crow’s feathers crusted, in the cold sweat, secreted by my clammy glands. Her smoke will stiffen, hidden within quartz, dwindling into a flame, that has no time to tell me, I am not enough, She will watch the burning, waiting for me to drip its wax, across my broken body. She will turn her nose up, when I offer blood, enraged by the red in my flesh, sickened by the failing white, surrender takes a new shade inside of me, and I am unworthy, muscles tearing for dying, organs failing, or trying, caverns screaming, crying, and She will demand to know, my nerve. Dare I say it, I think She will lay in wait, hungry for my body, as a whole.
by Li Barki / @blankdoesarts
by Euna Marie Catampongan @ugh_n_annoying
A Somebody That I Used To Know Paradoy
Chorus: And now LaForge’s visor’s off! First they kill off poor old Data then they try replace him! And Kirk is dead, I’ve had enough! And Riker’s left the Enterprise, this is so tough! Now the reboot’s like a different show! Khan is Sherlock, Kirk is dead and Spock gets all aggressive! He lets all of his logic go! What happened to the Star Trek that I used to know? What happened to the Star Trek that I used to know? What happened to the Star Trek that I used to know?
Star Trek That I Used To Know
Verse: You can argue that the movies weren’t entirely madness Tribbles and emotion chips are cool, always are cool But overall I think they don’t make sense Don’t even mention J.J. Abrams! Coz all it takes them is a minute and then it’s all over
by Dani G
Verse: Now and then I think of all the past Star Trek series T.O.S, D.S.N, Next Gen, Voyager and Enterprise Then I think of all of those movies, that stole the good guys and adversaries But messed around with all the history we remember
Verse: Now and then I think the movies are kind of funny Like Data with emotions and Kirk messing with the rules But I don’t wanna live that way Now Kirk has tribble DNA! And now I just can’t let it go All these changes to the universe Why can’t they just leave it alone! Chorus: And now Picard has got a twin! Riker’s married, Spock’s in love and Bones is now a Kiwi! Data’s got a different coloured skin! I think the yellow version looked the best on him
Now Worf is singing Pinafore! The Borg are going back in time and Jean-Luc’s got a lover Deanna’s fallen on the floor! What happened to the Star Trek that I knew before? The Star Trek (I knew before) The Star Trek (Now it’s just the Star Trek I don’t want no more) The Star Trek (I knew before) The Star Trek (Now it’s just the Star Trek I don’t want no more) I knew before That I always saw Now I miss Lore! That Star Trek
