Senior Living

Supplement to Jewish News July 13, 2015 jewishnewsva.org | Senior Living | July 13, 2015 | Jewish News | 15

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Senior Living

Sixty-five and counting! Dear Readers, Ten thousand baby boomers are turning 65 each day in this country. That’s a lot of daily additions to the ‘senior pool,’ though I bet that most celebrating those birthdays cannot believe they’re actually ‘seniors.’ That said, the ‘Seniors of 2015’ remain vital contributors and leaders. More and more adults are working past the traditional retirement age of 65, and for those who have left the workforce, they are very much involved in life…travelling, exercising, volunteering, building new homes and financial portfolios, caring for grandchil-

Published 22 times a year by United Jewish Federation of Tidewater. Reba and Sam Sandler Family Campus of the Tidewater Jewish Community 5000 Corporate Woods Drive, Suite 200 Virginia Beach, Virginia 23462-4370 voice 757.965.6100 • fax 757.965.6102 email news@ujft.org Terri Denison, Editor Germaine Clair, Art Director Hal Sacks, Book Review Editor Sandy Goldberg, Account Executive Mark Hecht, Account Executive Marilyn Cerase, Subscription Manager Reba Karp, Editor Emeritus Sherri Wisoff, Proofreader Jay Klebanoff, President Alvin Wall, Treasurer Stephanie Calliott, Secretary Harry Graber, Executive Vice-President www.jewishVA.org

dren (and children!), entertaining and yes, going to rock concerts. Still, like with any generation, there are issues that are unique to the current cohort of older adults, and we hope this section

The appearance of advertising in the Jewish News does not constitute a kashrut, political, product or service endorsement. The articles and letters appearing herein are not necessarily the opinion of this newspaper.

reflects some of them. Some articles deal with planning for the future, and others are for now, such as one piece about all that the Simon Family JCC offers for senior adults, another about

support groups at Beth Sholom Village and one about Jewish Family Service’s efforts to reach those who might be alone. Long known as a place for Jewish retirement, our article on South Florida is

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both nostalgic and an interesting look at statistics. At 87, Dr. Ruth Westheimer continues to reinvent herself, and she advises that everyone do the same. Her interview is on

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Upcoming Special Features

page 24.

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To quote Dr. Ruth, “Be involved!” and every age will be the perfect one!

August 17 Guide to Jewish Living July 31 August 31

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September 14 Yom Kippur October 5 October 19

Terri Denison Editor

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HISTORY / MEMOIR / MILITARY

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“Touching, funny, enchanting, enlightening! Sacks’ deeply felt collection of essays elevates the ordinary events of our lives in Tidewater [Virginia] by combining them with broader views of world events.” Farideh Dayanim Goldin, Director, Institute for Jewish Studies and Interfaith Understanding, Old Dominion University

graduate of Syracuse University (BA)

Sacks (“Captain Hal” to us who served under his command) tells a terrific and Columbia University (MA), Hal served a naval officer story beginning with Officer Candidate School and Korea inas1953, going on from 1952 to earning the Bronze Star Medal to Vietnam in 1968 and beyond. A fabulous read – one1972, cannot put it down.

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“Anybody who is interested in Jewish issues, Israel, international affairs or simply the life of the mind will want to read this collection of more than a hundred reviews written over thirty years by Hal Sacks. Sacks, who had an eventful Navy career, brings his intellectual curiosity, his sense of fair play, and the full measure of his scrupulous attention to each book in this impressive and wide ranging collection. Sacks is a true bibliophile and we readers are the grateful beneficiaries.” Dr. Martin Levin, Professor of Political Science, Institute of Jewish Studies

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PARKE PRESS

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Frederick A. Lubich, Ph.D., Professor of German, Old Dominion University

HEN USS STEINAKER (DD-863) sailed for duty in the Vietnam oneCriticism of the 30 Yearsconflict, of Literary greatest morale problems faced by the Commanding Officer was the inability to establish good communications between the ship’s sailors and their loved ones. There was no e-mail, no video conferencing, and only in the rare case of an emergency was it possible to send what was termed a “Class Easy” message (in reality, a telegram). The Captain of the ship, the “Old Man,” was 38 years old, his second-in-command barely 30. The rest of the officers averaged 26 years of age and twothirds of the enlisted sailors were 19 or younger. Mail was considered excellent when letters arrived a mere ten days after being sent, but it was clear that letters crossed and families faced many frustrations, having to make decisions without timely interaction with the “man of the house.”

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eople pondering their retirement satisfying, he says. But life doesn’t always work out that years often conjure images of spending more time on a favorite pastime way. Fortunately, there are strategies or traveling around the country or the seniors can use to lessen the impact of expenses brought on by long-term care world. Health concerns can intrude on those needs. Lowrey says some of those include: idyllic scenes, though, not only affecting • VA benefits. Military veterans may be enjoyment of life but also punching a able to offset nursing home or assisted-livheavy dent in retirement savings. ing expenses through benefits provided “As we age, usually our medical or by the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs. long-term care expenses A veteran’s eligibility for increase, sometimes long-term care services depleting our assets to would be determined a level of crisis,” says based on his or her need financial advisor Jake for ongoing treatment, Lowrey, president personal care and assisaverage annual cost of Lowrey Financial tance, as well as the of nursing home care Group. availability of the serin 2012 “It’s important for vice in the area where retirees, and anyone the person lives, accordplanning for retirement, ing to the Department of to become educated Veteran Affairs. about what the pitfalls Other factors, such are and what they need to do to avoid as financial eligibility, a service-connected losing their life savings.” disability, insurance coverage and/or abilLong-term care especially can burn ity to pay may also come into play. a hole in savings accounts. In 2012, for • Medicaid compliant SPIAs. A SPIA example, nursing home care averaged is a single-premium immediate annuity. $74,800 a year, according to a report by Typically, a SPIA is a contract with an the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. insurance company where you pay the Meanwhile, assisted living facilities company a sum of money up front (the preaveraged $39,500 per year, and home- mium), and the company promises to pay health services averaged $21 per hour. you a certain amount of money periodically More than 10 million Americans need for the rest of your life. some sort of long-term care, the Kaiser A Medicaid compliant SPIA is a spereport said. That number covers all ages, cially designed annuity that pays out over even children, but about half are people 65 the person’s “life expectancy” and has and older. other specific characteristics. A couple who “Those older Americans had looked put money in a Medicaid annuity are able forward to enjoying their golden years,” to avoid having the income from that annuLowrey says. “They should be able to have ity count against the financial assistance a actual golden years instead of what can end spouse receives for nursing home care. up being scary years, both personally and • Setting up a trust. Trusts can help financially.” shelter wealth from the look-back periods Certainly, being able to maintain good in Medicaid requirements and assist in health is a key factor in protecting sav- qualifying for VA programs, among other ings and making retirement enjoyable and advantages, Lowrey says.

S AC K S

SEniors need to educate themselves about ways to protect their nest eggs, financial advisor says

WPassing in Review

HAL SACKS

Gallantry, the Korean Presidential Unit Citation, and the Combat Action Medal. Hal is mixed probably of receiving compelling combination of two decades of U.S. history, in proudest with the Tom Hofheimer Humanitarian personal trials and triumphs and an appropriate sprinkling of humor, Award for his work in Israel. Hal Sacks himself: smart, informative, approachable andFrom 1972 until 2005 he enjoyed businessNews and fundraising for entertaining. – Terri Denison, careers Editor,inJewish non-profit organizations. He has been a frequent contributor to the U.S. Naval Institute Proceedings, and has been the book review editor for the Jewish News is an entertaining and insightful retrospective of life in the of Southeastern Virginia for thirty years. Navy during the Korean and Vietnam wars from “this Jewish boy from the In 2013 he published “Hal’s Navy,” an Bronx.” Lovers of great storytelling will relish this book, right alongside insightful and entertaining memoir of his seagoing career beginning as a “Jewhistory buffs and military aficionados. ish boy from the Bronx.” – Laine Rutherford, United Jewish Federation of Tidewater He and his wife, the former Annabel Lee Glicksman, have two children, five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

“An avid cook and traveler, student of history and lover of literature, Hal Sacks enlivens and illuminates his reviews of cook books, fiction, autobiographies and political histories with great gusto and vast knowledge, which turns this text collection into a multifaceted kaleidoscope of culinary highlights, personal memories and multicultural reflections. Witty and upbeat, erudite and eloquent, Passing in Review takes the reader on an enjoyable and at times challenging journey from the thriving Jewish community of Hampton Roads to the far corners of the world.”

AL SACKS , 30-year Book Review Editor for the biweekly Jewish News of Southeastern Virginia, has penned reviews on books with themes of politics, history, Israel and the Holocaust that are enlightening, comprehensive and, best of all, understandable. His reviews of memoirs and biographies manage to vividly portray the subjects’ lives. And Hal knows his way around the kitchen, so his takes on cookbooks are written from a cook’s perspective! When it comes to his fiction reviews, he deftly offers just enough details to entice readers, and yet not enough to spoil the fun of the read. Not one to shy away from opinion, Hal has also written essays and articles on topics dear to his heart, several of which we have also included. Because these reviews were initially written for a Jewish audience, most have some sort of a Jewish connection, i.e., the author or topic, but not all. This really is a book for everyone. Along with Hal Sacks’ Jewish approach and perspective, his viewpoint stems from his roles and experiences as New York native, retired U.S. Naval Commander, avid traveller, arts aficionado, professional fundraiser and husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather.

Excerpt from

HAL’S NAVY

•

H A L’ S N AV Y •

deeply insightful personal memoir, Hal’s Navy brings home not only the

technical aspects of naval service but also the joys and sorrows, the Commander Harold H. (Hal) Sacks bornwell in New York City in 1930. A separations, fears, sacrifices, and the heady feelings ofwas a job done. Hal

PA S S I N G in R E V I E W

Passing in Review

HAL’S NAVY

Advance Praise for

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hether Hal Sacks is telling the sea stories of his Navy career, or offering lucid and entertaining criticism of the best of the best books he’s reviewed for the Jewish News, he is just about the most interesting company you could ask for. Sharply articulate and, yes, sweetly funny, his writing is now available in two books published by Parke Press of Norfolk. Contact Hal Sacks or the Jewish News, or order Hal’s Navy and Passing in Review online today!

Proceeds benefit Jewish News archive project.

jewishnewsva.org | Senior Living | July 13, 2015 | Jewish News | 17

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Celebrating 100 Years! A Jewish social/philanthropic club for men and women meeting at the Beth Sholom Village in Hampton Roads. For membership information call Gail at 757-461-1150 Joe Goldberg at 757-467-0688 or email Brith.Sholom1@gmail.com 18 | Jewish News | July 13, 2015 | Senior Living | jewishnewsva.org

Senior Living

Hello, Gorgeous! “Pulse” technology may replenish skin’s collagen Tel Aviv—Americans spend more than $10 billion a year on products and surgery in their quest to find a “fountain of youth,” with little permanent success. Botulinum toxin—notably Botox—which smoothes lines and wrinkles to rejuvenate the aging face has been the number one nonsurgical procedure in the U.S. since 2000. But injections of this toxic bacterium are only a temporary solution and carry many risks, some neurological. A team of Tel Aviv University and Harvard Medical School researchers has now devised a non-invasive technique that harnesses pulsed electric fields to generate new skin tissue growth. According to their research, the novel non-invasive tissue stimulation technique, utilizing m ic ros econd-pu l s ed, high-voltage, non-thermal electric fields, produces scarless skin rejuvenation and may revolutionize the treatment of degenerative skin diseases.

jumpstart the secretion of new collagen and capillaries in problematic skin areas. Considering that, in the modern era of aging populations and climate change, degenerative skin diseases affect one in three adults over the age of 60, this has the potential to be an healthcare game changer.” Current therapies to rejuvenate skin use various physical and chemical methods to affect cells and the extracellular matrix, but they induce unsightly scarring. Pulsed electric fields, however, affect only the cell membrane itself, preserving the extracellular matrix architecture and releasing multiple growth factors to spark new cell and tissue growth. By inducing nanoscale defects on the cell membranes, electric fields cause the death of a small number of cells in affected areas. The released growth factors increase the metabolism of the remaining cells, generating new tissue. “Our results suggest that pulsed electric fields can improve skin function and potentially serve as a novel non-invasive skin therapy for multiple degenerative skin diseases,” says Goldberg. The researchers are currently developing a low-cost device for use in clinical trials in order to test the safety and efficacy of the technology in humans.

“Degenerative skin diseases

affect one in three adults over the age of 60”

An (effective) shock to the system “Pulsed electrical field technology has many advantages, which have already proved effective—for example, in food preservation, tumor removal and wound disinfection,” says Dr. Alexander Goldberg of TAU. “Our new application may

Senior Living

Alzheimer’s support group at BSV helps relieves stress

any people know Beth Sholom Village as a Skilled and Assisted Living Facility. What people may not know is that it has two special units for Alzheimer’s and Dementia residents. More and more of today’s aging population have some mild to severe cognitive impairment. This impairment manifests itself in various ways. Some of the manifestations are pleasant—lots of smiling and agreeing with requests made of the resident, while others are not so pleasant. There can be a reluctance to perform daily activities and anger seemingly coming from nowhere. To say the least, caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia can be stressful. Even though Beth Sholom Village takes

exceptional care of all residents, loved ones often feel guilt, stress and loneliness. This is why BSV began an Alzheimer’s support group. The group is held every second Thursday of the month and begins at 1 pm in the volunteer lounge. Several trained facilitators run the group. More than anything, it is a place to share feelings and frustrations. While nothing can fix this disease, being in the group allows people to learn helpful techniques from other caregivers. The public is invited to attend. Call Laura Gadsby at 757-420-2512 or e-mail her at lgadsby@bethsolomvillage.com. Beth Sholom Village is a constituent agency of United Jewish Federation of Tidewater.

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ow do seniors in Tidewater celebrate the Jewish holidays? Many reside at Beth Sholom Village where celebrating Jewish holidays are a regular part of their resident programming. Other people reside in non-Jewish nursing facilities, and have family members who are local and can bring the holidays to them. But what happens to residents who have no family in the area and every Jewish holiday is just like every other day of the year? Jewish Family Service of Tidewater, along with some area synagogues and schools, deliver holiday goodie bags to these nursing home residents and to help them celebrate the holidays. Each year, Ohef Sholom Temple’s Religious School decorates Chanukah bags filled with homemade Chanukah cookies, dreidles, gelt and a Chanukah card, which JFS volunteers deliver to about 80 seniors in the community. In years past, students at Temple

Emanuel baked hamentaschen to put in shaloch manot bags filled with candies for area seniors. The art students at Hebrew Academy of Tidewater decorated large bags that JFS filled with a Passover and/or Rosh Hashanah meal for New American residents and for individuals who are unable to prepare a holiday meal for themselves. These meals, along with matzoh and macaroons for Passover and honey cakes for Rosh Hashanah are made possible by the Pincus Paul fund. It takes an entire community to show area seniors that they are not forgotten. With the help of many, JFS is able to bring the holidays to people who would not have the joy of celebrating. To make certain that seniors who reside in non-Jewish nursing facilities or senior villages are included in the JFS holiday outreach, contact Jody Laibstain at 757‑321‑2222 or jlaibstain@jfshamptonroads.org. Jewish Family Service is a constituent agency of United Jewish Federation of Tidewater.

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JCC offers fitness and friendship for seniors by Leslie Shroyer

T “The staff here was amazing.” - MONA GOLDWASSER

“I was so happy to walk without assistance.” - PAUL SWIRE

“I feel like a new person.” - KAREN PEASE

At the Lee H. and Helen Gifford Rehabilitation Pavilion at Beth Sholom Village, we work together as a team to get you back on your feet and ready for independence. Our tenured physical, occupational and speech therapists have a wide range of clinical experience, and the bond they develop with their patients…well, it shows in their smiles. When looking for top-notch rehab services and facilities, whether inpatient or outpatient, call us first.

(757) 420-2512 ext. 264 www.bethsholomvillage.com ALL DENOMINATIONS ARE WELCOME.

20 | Jewish News | July 13, 2015 | Senior Living | jewishnewsva.org

he Simon Family JCC is among the best places in the area where seniors make and maintain friendships and participate in senior-oriented fitness and aquatics classes. Offering a variety of fitness options, the JCC’s water classes are very well attended, including water fitness and water arthritis classes. Silver Sneakers’ strength and flexibility and cardio classic classes are so popular that they are held in the JCC’s expansive gymnasium. This program is accepted by several area insurance companies, making it very affordable. Senior members of the JCC feel comfortable in a friendly environment, where friendships are developed. Many stay the

day, eating lunch in the Cardo Café and taking part in the Senior Clubs (Book club, Yiddish club, and others). For Nona Lipsey, an active JCC senior, the JCC has evolved into a large part of her social life. After her husband died three years ago, she felt that more than ever, the people at the JCC befriended her, providing an extended family in a time of need. “I could be here all day and watch the people pass by and enjoy friends at the JCC,” says Lipsey. “It’s great watching the children and families—people of all ages. With wonderful programs, and an inviting facility, it’s a vibrant community center, my home away from home.” The Simon Family JCC is a constituent agency of United Jewish Federation of Tidewater.

Adult programming at the Simon Family JCC Programs for adults over 50 years old include social activities, educational programs, Jewish holiday celebrations, trips and other fun events. Contact Michele Goldberg, director of cultural arts at 321-2341 or via email at mgoldberg@ simonfamilyjcc.org. Book Club Third Monday of each month, 1:30 pm, free. For those who enjoy reading and discussing books with others. The discussions are lively, informative and at times, soul-searching.

Yiddish Club Last Thursday of each month, 12:30 pm, free. This club meets to have discussions in Yiddish, about Yiddish, learn Yiddish or brush up on Yiddish. All who are interested are invited. Knitting for Others Meets every Wednesday, 10 am -12 noon. Join other knitters as they knit lap quilts, slippers, scarves and more to give as gifts to people residing in nursing facilities.

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Senior Living

Retirement plans can be imperiled when long-term care needs arise Savings are depleted quickly if not properly protected

here’s a tendency to give a silent cheer any time the average life expectancy grows a little longer. But long life also has its downsides. “Not everyone will spend all of their retirement years being active and doing all the fun things they planned,” says Mark Cardoza, author of the book Positioning 4 Retirement (www.positioning4retirement. com). “Many people will end up needing long-term care, such as in nursing homes, and that can be expensive. How to pay for that care is a looming problem for a lot of people.” Cardoza began learning about longterm care needs when his father became terminally ill about a decade ago. Much of what he learned was not reassuring. The federal government knew as far back as the 1970s and 1980s that long-term care of aging Americans would become a growing issue, Cardoza says. “They realized that the American public saw growing old and being cared for as an entitlement,” he says. “Instead of educating people and creating political trauma, they developed what we now know as ‘qualified retirement plans.’ ” Such plans include the popular 401k plans that many employers offer in lieu of pensions these days. They are attractive because they allow people to defer taxes on the money placed in the account, and some employers offer matching funds. But retirement savings can be vulnerable when a person needs long-term care, Cardoza says. The cost of long-term care can deplete retirement savings pretty quickly. One option for offsetting some of the costs is to apply for Medicaid. But in some cases, unless retirement savings are properly protected, they can be considered an asset and must be spent first before Medicaid kicks in, Cardoza says.

He says there are several options for protecting your retirement savings and getting the most out of those dollars so painstakingly set aside throughout working years. A few options include: • Long-term care insurance. A longterm care insurance policy, if properly designed, will provide a family with financial, physical and emotional resources while protecting assets. Financially, it is a way to self-insure, using assets to pay for coverage, entirely or while getting through the look-back period. A long-term care insurance policy is a disability plan. It doesn’t replace incomes as a typical disability plan would; instead, it provides income to pay for necessary services in the event of accident, illness or aging and being unable to do everyday tasks. • Fixed annuities. An annuity is an insurance product. Money is placed in the annuity with the insurance company’s promise to pay an amount in the future as a lump sum or in intervals over a decided period of time. Fixed annuities are designed to protect your retirement assets from financial catastrophe. They can also provide security and protect your retirement income by providing an income stream either for the rest of your life or for a defined period of time. • Irrevocable trusts. An irrevocable trust is used to protect assets, minimize estate tax liability, avoid probate and maintain privacy. These trusts are designed to protect qualified funds, in which taxes could be deferred, and non-qualified funds, for which tax deferrals were not allowed. Ultimately, Cardoza says, before making any decisions it’s best to consult with a professional who understands the intricacies of retirement planning.

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22 | Jewish News | July 13, 2015 | Senior Living | jewishnewsva.org

s the age-old trend of Jews retiring to South Florida on the decline? It depends how you look at the numbers, according to demographer Dr. Ira Sheskin. “Even though the percentage coming to Florida may be down, the number coming is probably not decreasing and it’s not going to decrease,” Sheskin, a member of the committee that completed both the 1990 and 2000–01 National Jewish Population Surveys says. Why is that the case? “Starting two years ago the baby boomers began to retire,” says Sheskin, director of the Jewish Demography Project of the Sue and Leonard Miller Center for Contemporary Judaic Studies at the University of Miami. “There are 10,000 baby boomers a day in this country turning age 65. Even though the percentage coming to Florida may be somewhat lower, because there is an increase now of people retiring in this country over the next couple of decades, the number coming to Florida will still continue to increase.” Sheskin has completed in excess of 110 demographic studies for more than 80 synagogues, Jewish organizations and commercial entities. He says that according to the nationwide trend in elderly retirement, “Florida is still, to this day, the overwhelming destination for retirees. “Having said that, it is somewhat of a lower percentage than it was 20 or 30 years ago,” Sheskin says. “We now see retirees, including Jewish retirees, going to places like North Carolina, even places like Arkansas, where the cost of living is considerably less expensive. So the percentage [retiring to Florida] is down some.” What Sheskin has seen in South Florida is that the Jewish population in Miami-Dade County has been decreasing since 1975. His last estimate of Jews in Miami, taken in 2004, was 113,000. Broward County in 2008 had 186,000 Jews, and Palm Beach County had 255,000. Sheskin estimates that there are 555,000

total Jews living in that three-county area— half of them 65 and over. “Jews are continuing to come here, but they are more frequently settling in Palm Beach County than in Broward County, and probably more frequently in Broward than in Miami-Dade County,” Sheskin says. “Miami has become this major metropolitan area.” According to Marcia Jo Zerivitz, founding executive director of the Jewish Museum of Florida, two groups of Jews started the trend of coming to Miami Beach. “Prosperous Jews began to winter on Miami Beach in the 1950s when the new hotels (such as the Eden Roc and Fontainebleau) had the ‘American Plan,’” she says. “The poorer Jewish elderly on South Beach, which were largely teachers and garment workers, rapidly declined from 1977 to 1986. South Beach was the last leg of a historic migration from the old world—the shtetls of eastern Europe, the Czarist pogroms and Nazi Holocaust—to this country, to the formidable years in the northeast, and at last, to the summer-in-winter climate.” Zerivitz says that Miami’s South Beach, rather than the partying/nightlife destination it is known as today, used to be a prime spot for Jewish seniors. “Today’s Jewish population on [South] Beach is Americanized and the non-Jewish population is largely Hispanic,” Zerevitz says. “It is a different world. For every 20-year-old today who cruises Ocean Drive, imagine an 80-year-old then pulling a shopping cart up Washington Avenue. Where the bars are today, imagine a makeshift synagogue. On the beach, for every ‘hard’ body today, imagine an elderly person, and no traffic. The last elderly Jews of Miami Beach represented tenacity and conviction, a love of learning, and a fragile and unique culture.” Sheskin has similar memories. “I remember going to South Beach when my wife and I moved to Florida in the early 1980s,” he says. “I took my guitar

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A view of Washington Ave and 15th Street in South Beach, Miami. Rather than the partying/nightlife destination it is known as today, South Beach used to be a prime spot for Jewish seniors. Credit: Pedro Szekely via Wikimedia Commons.

and I sang Jewish songs sitting on a bench, and I immediately had about 200 elderly Jews standing around listening and singing along. At one time, there were as many as 70,000 Jews on Miami Beach.” The demographer’s latest estimate for Jews in Miami Beach is 19,000. “That is still a reasonably sized Jewish population for what is a four-zip code area, but the nature of South Beach has changed significantly,” Sheskin says. Nevertheless, Sheskin’s figures show that many so-called “snowbirds”—seniors who travel to Florida seasonally, for a warmer winter—turn into full-year residents. He says this trend could be traced to World War II, when many New York Jews who were in the army were trained in South Florida. “They came here, saw something they liked, and then after the war when they started their families, decided to move their families here,” Sheskin explains. “That led to a large growth of the Jewish community in this area. The other obvious reason is the climate. As people aged, they could not put up with weather conditions, snow and ice in the northeast. Florida became a good alternative.” Further contributing to this trend is what geographers call “chain migration.” “In the 1920s and 1930s, Jews started to come [to South Florida],” Sheskin says. “Others would come down on vacation or visit relatives then return to New York, Boston or Philadelphia and think, ‘Wow, that’s a neat place, I’ve already got relatives

or friends there, and they would follow. It’s called chain migration because you have an initial group of settlers, you then have another group that comes and sees, goes home, and then follows, with the first group providing guidance to the second group as to where to live. Information then flows between South Florida and New York that leads to the continuation of that chain migration.” According to Gary Monroe, who had a photographic exhibit called Barely a Minyan on the last Jews of South Beach, those Jews lived in accord with their old-world values. “The ocean was therapeutic,” Monroe says. “The streets were lively with activity. Everything was in walking distance. Social agencies and neighbors met their needs. For Shabbat, card rooms were converted to shuls.” Zerivitz says the ethnic community of South Beach became out of touch, and eventually, out of time. “Crime soared with the 1980 Mariel boat lift and sunrise swims came to an abrupt end,” she says. “Then came the popular TV show, Miami Vice. The preservation movement that propelled the restoration of the [Art] Deco buildings also propelled the movement out of the elderly. In a rush to redevelop the southern shore, Holocaust survivors were told that they would be ‘relocated.’ The precious legacy of the culture they had established in South Beach came to the end of the line. The average age of ‘trendy’ South Beach’s population dropped by about 50 years within a decade.”

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24 | Jewish News | July 13, 2015 | Senior Living | jewishnewsva.org

orn Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany, the woman now known as “Dr. Ruth” saw her father arrested by Nazis and said a final goodbye to her mother as she boarded a Kindertransport rescue train to Switzerland. By 17, she was in the British mandate of Palestine on a kibbutz, and, later in Jerusalem, the diminutive teenager became a sniper for the Haganah forces. A bombing on the night of her 20th birthday left her badly wounded, but she recovered and went on to study at Paris’s Sorbonne, as well as the New School and Columbia University (for a doctorate in education) in Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Credit: Maxine Dovere. New York. Three marriages (two brief ones, followed by the last to Manfred Westheimer growth and change. “Things have changed for more than 30 years), two children since Lady Chatterley’s Lover or Fear of (Miriam and Joel), and a self-designed and Flying. Establish a new vocabulary,” she determined persona later, the octogenar- advises. “Read books; look at sexually ian found herself in a theater in Western arousing material.” Dr. Ruth recomMassachusetts, mends 50 Shades watching an of Gray—“all three on-stage portrayal volumes.” of her life. “If someone “I had to pinch doesn’t like it, you myself a few times years young can close the chapto realize that I was ter,” she says. “If in the audience and Dr. Ruth [she] does like it, not on stage,” Dr. the book proves the Ruth Westheimer point that woman says. can get aroused.” A self-created, Whether they resilient survivor, are young or old, Dr. Ruth became an internationally known sex educator at a most singles would like to be doubles. JNS. org asked Dr. Ruth what she recommends time when many consider retirement. Dr. Ruth’s essential focus is living as to help people—especially seniors—find fully as possible. “People have to be active, partners. “Be involved! Go to concerts, perforto do things,” she says. “Do a new activity every single day. Take a course, go to a con- mances, lectures—events of interest. cert, make sure to keep a relationship with Women have to take the risk of being the a neighbor—to schmooze a little, not just one to start a relationship, to say to a man to cry on someone’s shoulder. If you have ‘Would you like to go for a coffee?’ If the to cry, go to a professional; no one wants to answer is ‘no,’ go on to the next one!” she says. If partnership is not possible, Dr. Ruth hear about problems.” She is a firm proponent of continuous advises, “find a place that will be enjoyable,

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and give you some satisfaction—even if you don’t meet a partner.” Even for those seniors lucky enough to find an emotional partner, establishing a physical relationship can sometimes be difficult. “Even older people should go to see a sex therapist,” says Dr. Ruth. “Very often, a problem is something physical. Go to your family physician or gynecologist. Use whatever physical or mechanical aide is needed. Engage in sex in the morning. Do not have expectations that he can hang from a chandelier!” “Don’t ask me about my sex life!” she adds. “You will not get an answer. I don’t ask intimate questions except of my patients.” And, what about adult children? “You have to cultivate your relationship with your adult children and grandchildren. Call them. Ask ‘do you have a moment?’ Don’t say, ‘you didn’t come to see me.’ Say ‘whatever is convenient—that fits with your plans.’ Be flexible. Go to a coffee shop. Let them know, ‘I would like to see you…I’ll take the time you can give me and be satisfied.’” The same “children” who may have little time to spend with a parent, often have much to say about a parent’s new partner. Dr. Ruth says that while the new partner “will never replace the father or mother, never be an intimate part of the family,” children should be “civil and polite” and recognize that the mother or father’s companion makes life easier. “One would never go on the assumption the partner will be an intimate part of the family.” Dr. Ruth is essentially a practical realist. She says companionship, perhaps even

romance, adds much to living; so do existing assets. “It’s very important for an older person who finds a new partner to write a detailed arrangement about money,” she says. “The children won’t have fears—even in their subconscious—that the inheritance from their parent will go to the partner’s family. You don’t need a fancy lawyer (though an attorney or financial advisor is recommended). Go to someone who can witness a legal agreement assuring that money will remain separate. In today’s contentious world, it is essential; an agreement is very important to calm any fear. “Documentation is especially important when there is any unusual circumstance, such as when a grandparent is responsible for a minor child. Everything must be written. No one can foresee the future,” she says. The experience of being a senior—she is 87 and a widow— is one Dr. Ruth shares with many in her audience. Yet, she is clearly a work in progress. In 2012, she presented Vin d’Amore, a California-bottled line of low alcohol wines—available in red, white, and rosé, of course—replete with her picture on the label. And, last month, she released her latest book, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre. “I tell people to drink a little, then have sex,” Dr. Ruth says. “But,” she cautions, “not too much—she falls asleep and he can’t perform. With wine, less is more.” “Sherry Lansing,” she adds, “said ‘not to retire but to re-wire.’ It’s very important. It’s exactly what I am doing.”

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