Orange and Blue Magazine - The Conflict Issue - Fall 2023

FALL 2023

CONFLICT ISSUE ORANGE AND BLUE MAGAZINE

LETTER FROM EDITOR

Dear Readers, In a world filled with a multitude of voices, perspectives and passions, conflict is an inevitable facet of the human experience. As the theme for this issue of our magazine, we delved deep into stories we believe shed light on the myriad of ways in which we interact and react to conflict — within ourselves and with the world around us.

Our lineup of articles touch on various forms of conflict, from family feuds and cyclist disputes to internal and cultural clashes. As you flip through these pages, we hope you find valuable insights and inspiration to help you navigate the complexities of our shared human experiences.

While conflict often has a negative connotation, it can also be transformative. It forces us to confront our differences, question our assumptions and grow as individuals. This issue was born with the intent of inviting our readers to reflect on what it is that make us face dilemmas and how we choose to overcome them.

Thank you for joining us on this journey. We hope this issue sparks conversations, opens minds and brings us all a step closer to resolution, empathy and understanding.

Aurora Martínez

Warm regards,

Editor-in-Chief

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MEET THE STAFF

Social Media Manager DAZION PROSSER

Editor-in-Chief AURORA MARTÍNEZ

Copy Editor DANIELLA PALACIOS

THANK YOU We would like to thank our incredible advisers Nicole Irving, Ted Spiker, Hub Brown, Spiro Kiousis, Cally House and Hal Herman.

Likewise, we would like to thank our models Garrett Shanley, Diego Perdomo, Tumi Palacios, Destiny Dunning, Crshonne Green, Aurora Twillman, Hailey Donovan, Kylie Donovan, Laila Fakhoury, Khary Khalfani and Karla Fernandez for making this issue possible.

Orange and Blue is published semiannually by the University of Florida College of Journalism and Communications students enrolled in Applied Magazines.

This issue was printed by Publications Printers. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any means without written permission.

Orange and Blue is protected through trademark registration in the United States.

Send letters to Box 118400 College of Journalism and Communications, University of Florida, Gainesville, FL 32611.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS Beauty: Navigating 4 Guilt-Free Cruelty-Free Cosmetics

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Demystifying the Use of Psychotropic Medications

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10 A Love Letter to my Nemesis Tastes Collide: Three Easy Meals 11 When to Please Everyone at the Table

13 Careening into the Dark 15 Heighten the Stakes?

Sibling Struggles: Does Twinship

Burn: Hacks To Balance the 20 Controlled Heat in Your Ramen

Ho, Hold Up?!” Dealing with Family 21 “Ho, Conflict During the Holidays

23 Empty Nest, Fledgling Bird to Best Mend Damaged 25 How Relationships

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Change of Plans: Hispanic Immigrants Share Their Journey Toward a New Life

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Our Top Picks for Family-Friendly Games to Play This Holiday Season

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Guilt-Free Beauty: Navigating Cruelty-Free Cosmetics

By Daniella Palacios

I

f you think animal testing means putting blush and

understand the actual lab techniques that are used on

mascara on a bunny, you’re dead wrong.

animals” or what is at stake.

Over the last few years, the beauty industry has been taken over by a wave of white rabbits. The logo of a bunny with heart ears indicates the product is “cruelty-free,” but what does this really mean? Most people can only assume what it truly means if they haven’t done their research. Casual makeup users tend to not look any deeper even if this certification falls high on their list of priorities. Others simply haven’t thought about what animal testing actually is.

However, for those who want to look good and feel good about their cosmetic purchases, informing yourself and putting your money where your mouth is can shape the future of ethical beauty.

Animal testing refers to “procedures performed on living animals for purposes of research into basic biology and diseases” to test the safety of goods for humans and the environment in several different industry products such as pharmaceuticals, cleaning chemicals and cosmetics to name a few, according to Humane Society International.

The first step to understanding how to make better choices is becoming familiar with what animal testing is, and what occurs during this process. Danielle Cash, a makeup consultant at Ulta, a large beauty retail store, said customers like the idea that their makeup was not tested on animals because they are dog or cat lovers, but “they do not really

The organization explains that even mild procedures can cause “physical as well as psychological distress and suffering” to the animals. If they are not culled right after being experimented on, they could be reused in other tests.

During these tests, animals are commonly injected with chemicals in “toxicity testing,” are force-fed chemicals and have them dripped into their eyes as well as onto shaved skin.

Before you ransack your makeup bag, it is important to understand the regulations in place today regarding the safety of makeup products.

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Although standard practice in the past, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration states in the Federal Food, Drug & Cosmetic Act that animal testing is not specifically required in evaluating cosmetics for safety. The FDA also says the unrestricted use of phrases like “cruelty free” and “not tested on animals” by cosmetic companies are possible because there are no legal definitions for these terms.

However, a surprising number of big-name brands are still involved with animal experimentation. In a study by Brand Financial in 2021 that identified 50 of the biggest cosmetics companies, 44 of them were not cruelty-free. That’s 88% of big-name, influential corporations that still conduct testing on animals.

She is not the only one who is aware of this issue in the industry.

Bree Sorenson has been in the beauty and cosmetics field for about two years and works in an upscale department store in Gainesville’s Oaks Mall as a clerk.

“If it’s sold in China, they have to animal test there in order for it to be allowed to be sold,” said Sorenson about cosmetics. “Some brands won’t pull out of countries like that in order to obtain the cruelty-free status.”

Some of the biggest name brands that still test are Covergirl, Revlon, L’Oréal, Maybelline and Benefit Cosmetics.

Even if these companies don’t test products in their own labs, they can still have it done by a third party. These brands do not qualify for a Leaping Bunny certification, one of the most recognizable cruelty-free logos found on products next to the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA’s heart-shaped bunny ears logo. In order to earn this certification, “companies must pledge to end

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On a positive note, companies seem to be shifting gears to keep up with today’s trends. Cash says makeup brands are moving over to cruelty-free because there’s no point in testing on animals anymore, and a lot of people would rather see the results on their own skin rather than on the animal’s skin.

animal testing at all stages of product development in addition to recommitting to the program annually and being

Stores like Ulta have initiatives that carefully denote all

open to third-party audits,” according to the Leaping Bunny website. As of now, there are well over 2,000 certified

cruelty-free products with clean ingredients online and in their stores, such as their Conscious Beauty program. It

brands that meet the cruelty-free standards.

"One of the reasons Clinique can’t say it’s cruelty-free even

showcases brands like Fenty and Urban Decay, which are PETA approved. PETA’s website states that companies must sign a legally binding agreement and submit paperwork

though half of their products are made here and are [cruelty-free], is that they get some stuff made from China,”

proving that it and its suppliers do not test on animals at any stage of production. Older brands need to compete against

said Cash. “It is required to test on animals there, so the brand cannot officially say it is fully cruelty-free.”

newer companies popping up with better, more ethically tested and acquired ingredients.

Although not an issue in the past, Cash says the change is

However, they have a whole database you can scour to

due to what consumers are looking for nowadays.

identify any ethically disagreeable products in your daily beauty regimen.

“The younger crowd has more of an influence on brands than the older generation,” said Cash.

It is important to educate yourself on what you are buying.

Every purchase counts, and companies are listening to every

Sorenson concurs, saying it’s mostly younger people who take cruelty-free labels into consideration. This speaks

swipe and tap of your card. Consumers have the power to influence big brands, as has been shown by how many bunny

volumes about our purchasing power.

logos can now be found on shelves across the country.

Jessica Sapp, 35, a shopper who mostly buys skincare, says it

The cruelty-free cosmetics market size is estimated to reach

does not make her feel any more secure about the safety of the makeup if it has been through animal trials.

$14 billion by 2030, according to a Market Research Report

by Snehal Singh. Brands have been reformulating and changing suppliers to meet with the growth and to be able to qualify for the bunny certifications. Being informed about what you are putting your dollars toward can help steer the future of animal testing in cosmetics.

“I don’t know why they test on animals,” she said. “Just test on humans.”

Colleen Lance, a 34-year-old physical therapist, said she first noticed the cruelty-free trend about five years ago.

“I try to buy the ones that have the little cute bunny on it,” Lance said, adding that it’s a top priority for her that a brand be cruelty-free.

“You’re just going to get a rash, and an animal could die from it,” said Cash. “People should definitely know what they’re buying, but brands should make it known what they’re selling.”

According to PETA, some examples of cruelty-free brands include Nyx, e.l.f., Too Faced, KVD Beauty, IT Cosmetics, Tarte and Urban Decay to name a few.

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DEMYSTIFYING THE USE OF

Psychotropic Medications

By Aurora Martínez

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S

ociety has opened up to discussing mental health and ways in which people can seek and find help in their communities and within themselves, but there is still a stigma about the use of medication to treat mental illnesses.

Roughly 1 in 5 people in the U.S. are prescribed medication for their mental health, according to data from the 2020 National Health Interview Survey (NHIS). However, fear and misleading information may represent a challenge to those who need it the most, experts say.

Here are some common myths and what psychiatrists and doctors qualified to diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication, have to say about them.

Myth: Psychotherapy is enough.

Some mental illnesses, like mild or moderate depression, can be treated with the help of psychotherapists. While therapy

Myth: Taking medication means I’m broken.

One of the symptoms of diagnoses such as depression is hopelessness. When patients say they are “broken” or “unfixable,” it is important to point out that the thought is coming from their depression and is not true, Rahmani said.

“I tell them about how prevalent it is,” Rahmani said. “I think sometimes patients feel very isolated, they feel like they're the only ones struggling with this because people are becoming more open about talking about mental illness, but there are still a lot of stigmas.”

An estimated 5% of adults suffer from depression globally, according to the World Health Organization.

Myth: Medicine is going to change my personality.

Thinking medicine will change one’s personality is a misguided belief — the function of the prescribed medicine is not to change who you are, Rahmani said, it is to manage

is intended to be the first line of treatment to help people

some of the symptoms that are causing a problem in your personal life, school life or your job. If the medication ever

identify and take control over their emotions, thoughts and behaviors, sometimes it is not enough to improve symptoms,

causes discomfort or does something patients don’t like, Rahmani encourages them to bring it up to find alternatives.

said Dr. Mariam Rahmani, a Gainesville psychiatrist who specializes in treating children and adolescents.

Myth: I will get addicted.

Most commonly prescribed medicines, such as

Of the 13.6% of U.S. children aged 5 to 17 years old who

antidepressants and mood stabilizers, are not habit-forming, Rahmani said. She said using some other medications, including stimulants and some anti-anxiety drugs can build up tolerance in your body and are usually prescribed for short terms. Rahmani provides people with a lot of information and warnings, such as not mixing them with alcohol and keeping them in a safe place.

received any mental health treatment in 2019, 8.4% had taken some sort of medication, according to NHIS data.

Depending on each patient’s symptoms and diagnosis, the psychiatrist determines whether psychotherapy alone or a combination of both medication and psychotherapy is the best fit.

But starting to take mediation is ultimately each person’s decision, Rahmani said. She shares as much knowledge as possible with her patients and families so they can make the best decision for themselves.

“What I can do is give them information about why I'm recommending a medication, how long they would have to take it, what might be the side effects, what to expect if they decide to take the medication, and what to expect if they decide not to take the medication,” Rahmani said.

Myth: I will have to take drugs for the rest of my life.

How long a person takes a medication depends on the severity of the illness and the progression of each patient as they start on their prescribed drug, Rahmani said. In the case of depression, for example, if people see the antidepressant works and is making them feel and perform better, the recommendation is that they stay on the medication for at least six more months — even when the depression is gone — because studies have shown that if you stop the antidepressant right away, depression is more likely to come back quickly, Rahmani added.

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Rahmani also said it is important to keep in mind that when doctors initially prescribe medication, they start at a low dose and make adjustments as weeks go by, based on whether the patient is having any side effects.

Myth: It will make me suicidal.

People worry because antidepressant medication boxes have suicidal thoughts listed as a warning, but in reality, it doesn’t implant any new ideas in your head, said Dr. Ludmila De Faria, a Gainesville psychiatrist with over 15 years of experience in the field.

What can happen is that people may have already been ruminating about suicide, but they didn’t have the energy or mental capacity to act upon it. Medication makes them feel able to function better, but they may still feel the world is a terrible place. “That's why we monitor very closely anybody that we're treating for depression because we want to make sure that throughout the entire process that is not happening,” De Faria said.

Myth: It will cause me sexual dysfunction.

Sexual dysfunction can be a side effect of some medications, De Faria said, however, the symptoms should be brought up to the physician to determine ways in which the patient can be helped. Sometimes lowering the dose of the medication or adding another one can help make the side effects go away, De Faria said.

All medications come with side effects, De Faria said. Drugs used most typically to treat depression and anxiety can cause nausea, upset stomach, increased sensitivity, jitteriness or restlessness, but they should all disappear within one week of starting to take them. If the side effects don’t disappear, a change in medication would probably be needed, she added.

“I typically don't make people stay on medications that make them feel annoyed because I think it's pointless,” De Faria said. “I want people to take a medication they can tolerate.”

From 2019 to 2020, the number of adults who had taken prescription medication for their mental health went from

Myth: I won’t be able to drink alcohol.

While taking selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, which

15.8% to 16.5%, according to NHIS data. People experiencing mental health problems could present symptoms such as

are a widely used type of antidepressant medication, De Faria said people can still drink alcoholic beverages just like

having sleep problems, changes in weight or appetite, substance abuse or feeling anxious, worried, depressed,

anyone — in moderation. Some of the most prescribed SSRIs include Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft, all of which have no interaction with alcohol. However, De Faria

hopeless or unhappy among other issues. In the case they experience any of them, they should seek help through their primary care provider, a counselor, a psychiatrist or a

recommends people to check each medication with their doctors because there are other drugs, like benzodiazepines,

person they trust, De Faria said.

that should not be mixed with alcohol.

*Always seek the guidance of your doctor or care provider if you have any questions about your medication or treatment.

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A Love Letter to my Nemesis M

By Aurora Martínez | Photo by Dazion Prosser

y life hangs on Life Savers Gummies. In the same way, and for opposite reasons, it also depends on lab-made insulin delivered through a device that is almost always attached to me. If I didn’t have a brain and a body to take care of, I wouldn’t need either, but according to my French friend Descartes, "I think, therefore I am."

Type 1 diabetes was not a lottery ticket I bought. One day, when I was 3 years old, my pancreas woke up no longer wanting to produce insulin, and I have been dealing with the consequences ever since. Surrounded by love and endless support, I grew up to become an objectively self-sufficient individual, “not because of your diabetes, but in

hours of sleep, can still make it to her

spite of it,” my dear ones would tell me. 8:30 a.m. class — with time to have a proper breakfast. The issue is that I I’m 22 years old now, and while that thinking has taken me far, I know I owe never get to pick which one I get, every day has 24 hours, and there is no diabetes — and the almost 19 years I perfect formula to deal with each have managed it — more than I’ll ever

makes me appreciate my existence and the people I get to share it with. It pushes me to have goals, take risks, learn from mistakes and make the most of every opportunity. It is why I care about making others feel heard and

admit.

evolving scenario.

When I wake up, reading my blood sugar levels on my insulin pump screen

It sounds dramatic when I say it aloud, but diabetes makes the act of living an

Yes, I am tired of the roller coaster. I

determines how I start off my day.

Sometimes, if my glucose is below 60 mg/dL, which indicates a low, five gummies would be my pre-breakfast snack and failing to do so could lead to life-threatening circumstances. If it is above 200 mg/dL, meaning too high, additional insulin is needed and the chances of me skipping breakfast and hating life are unavoidable. Some other times, my alarm goes off at 7:30 a.m., and I am lucky to wake up with levels above 70 mg/dL and below 200 mg/dL, my personal goal. It means I get to be a regular college student who, despite running on poor life choices and four

everyday choice. Having the knowledge and tools to manage it is a privilege, but it is also a burden. Knowing how my body works and can fail on me also means I get to push its limits. It means I struggle acknowledging when I need a break and let everyone but myself feel sorry about it. I have tricked my brain into believing diabetes has no say in what I do and how I do it. The truth is, neither of us could exist without the other.

am tired of guessing how my body works. I am tired of apologizing for things I can’t always control. I am tired of making my family worry about my well-being while living alone and abroad. I am tired of hearing I have to take care of myself to avoid future complications when it’s literally what I do 24/7. But I am not tired of trying.

No amount of cinnamon or exercise will help me get rid of diabetes, but I still believe in science — and God — and I’m confident a long-lasting cure is around the corner, if not for me, for those coming behind me.

Diabetes is what makes me human. It is my daily reminder that life is finite and that everyone’s battle is different. It

seen. It is why I love, cry and laugh loudly.

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When Tastes Collide:

By Aurora Martínez

THREE EASY MEALS TO PLEASE EVERYONE AT THE TABLE

N

o one wants to sit at a table and be left out, but pleasing everyone’s taste and dietary restrictions often presents a challenge. Instead of spending lots of energy and countless hours in the kitchen, here are three simple and quick options that could revolutionize your dining table or any social gathering: tacos, pasta salads and poke bowls.

Tacos Tacos can be customized to suit individual preferences. To ensure everyone at the table is satisfied, provide various ingredients and proteins to choose from, such as grilled chicken, marinated steak, black beans and roasted

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vegetables. Offering both hard and soft taco shells will add points to your catering.

For toppings, create a taco bar with options like shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, sliced onions, shredded cheese, sour cream and guacamole. And don't forget the salsas, from mild to spicy, to accommodate different heat tolerances.

To accommodate for dietary restrictions, consider offering corn tortillas (gluten-free) and providing tofu or tempeh as plant-based protein alternatives.

Pasta Salads Pasta salads are a fantastic choice because they are easy to prepare in advance and can be served cold or at room temperature. First, pick your favorite pasta shape – penne, rotini or bowtie are some options — and make sure to have both regular and gluten-free options available, like rice, quinoa or chickpea pasta.

Include colorful toppings that will add flavor and variety.

Offer different vegetables such as cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers and olives. You can also include proteins like diced ham, grilled chicken or tofu to allow for different pairings and textures. Top it all with good dressing options, such as classic Italian vinaigrette, creamy ranch and a balsamic glaze. And have some feta or diced mozzarella available for cheese lovers.

Poke Bowls Poke bowls, a Hawaiian dish rooted in Japanese cuisine, have gained popularity for their fresh and vibrant flavors. To create bowls that please everyone, provide a base of sushi rice, brown rice or cauliflower rice for low-carb options.

Protein choices can include fresh sushi-grade fish, like tuna and salmon, cooked shrimp or tofu. Marinating the proteins in different sauces such as soy sauce, sesame oil or a spicy Sriracha mayo can enhance their flavors.

The key to pleasing everyone with poke bowls is to provide a wide range of toppings. Consider offering avocado, cucumber, seaweed salad, pickled ginger and crunchy garnishes like fried onions and sesame seeds. Some popular sauce options include ponzu and spicy mayo, depending on each person’s spice preference.

All three dishes are versatile and can satisfy a wide range of tastes. Poll your crowd on which option they prefer, get the ingredients, spread them at the center of the table and let people mix and match. And the best thing about it? Whether people like their dish won’t depend on you.

CAREENING INTO THE DARK

By Dazion Prosser

I

t’s a wonder how I haven’t been hit yet.

My handle grips are slippery, my pedals are wild and my front and back lights are dim. It’s been two months since the Gainesville Police Department gave me a fresh pair of battery powered bike lights, so I know it’s a fine time to get some new ones. I also just realized the streetlights down the side of the University of Florida energy building don’t work anymore.

Slip-resistant shoes keep me safe from severe injury in the kitchen, but those same shoes become my enemy while I’m on my way home. One minute I find myself gliding through the cracks of the sidewalk and the next I’m hanging on for dear life; although only for a split second.

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Four people have been killed between 2022 and this year in Alachua County, according to the Florida Crash Dashboard, which is part of the 110 total bicycle crashes that have happened within Gainesville city limits. Nationally, crash statistics from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says 966 cyclists were killed in traffic crashes just two years ago.

Local city commissioners and enforcement officials have paved the way for more accommodating road infrastructure for its cyclists. As part of the city’s “Vision Zero” initiative to cut the amount of traffic accidents to zero, physical barriers between bike lanes, lit up pedestrian signals and free bike lights at campuses have been implemented.

But bicycle-related crashes, especially at night, on major roads like Archer keep happening.

On his way home from work, Christopher Sutliff, a 21-yearold busser at the Cheesecake Factory, suddenly collided with another cyclist on a bridge near Hogtown Creek in Northwest Gainesville. He thought he had enough room to ride on the sidewalk, however, the space between oncoming traffic and the other cyclist was slim to none, he said. He was launched from his bike onto the road, hoping for the best.

night, it gets even worse,” Gainesville resident Kobe Jackson said. “Both people have to have regard for each other’s safety.”

The other cyclist was visibly angry after the collision. Sutliff

The Florida Traffic Safety Dashboard states that almost 54%

said he feels roads should be wider, bike lanes lengthier and streetlights brighter on Gainesville streets.

of injuries and fatal bike crashes in the city happen between 6 p.m. and 11 p.m. Cycling advocates like Gainesville Cycling Club member Roger Pierce recommends cyclists to be “lit

If not for other drivers’ intuition, his life would have been taken from him in seconds.

like a Christmas tree” by wearing lights and iridescent clothing. This is so drivers, even reckless ones, can have the

Major metropolises like New York City experience serious traffic congestion and driver-on-pedestrian mayhem, but in a small city like Gainesville, there seems to be discrepancies on how safe roads are and should be, Jackson said.

best chance of seeing cyclists in the dark.

“It just resulted in what could have been a serious and deadly situation,” Sutliff said.

The lesson of traffic safety has always been relevant in my life.

GPD Sergeant Lynne Valdes says it is only a matter of sharp judgement, vigilance and attention that can be the difference

My parents told me to stop riding my bike when the

between a brisk ride home and a hurried ride to the hospital.

Valdes wants to see cyclists be more cautious of their

streetlights came on, which, in hindsight, protected me from the dangers of drivers at night.

actions, as well as aware of unpredictable drivers who may be under the influence, she wrote in an email.

I always thought I could pedal faster than everybody else,

“Also keep in mind there are impaired drivers on the roads, so sidewalks may be the better bet,” Valdes wrote.

which is something I relentlessly aimed to prove. But even though I wanted to be a speed demon, I had to stay aware of cars easing into their driveways.

On roads like Archer, it is common to witness the varied

Nine years later, as I push on into the darkness, I trek down

behavior of drivers regardless of the time of day.

the uncertain stretch of sidewalk with perked intuition and agility.

“There are some crazy drivers in Gainesville. Especially at

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SIBLING STRUGGLES: DOES TWINSHIP HEIGHTEN THE STAKES?

By Daniella Palacios

AUGUST 30, 1985 Adam and Marissa Gayle take their first breaths exactly one

Even though they now live far away from each other, they

minute apart. So begins their bond, the unique and complex connection that is twinship.

make sure to keep in touch with weekly calls to catch up.

“I think probably like any brother and sister, there’s a little

For non-twin sibling relationships, growing up alongside another human can be hard enough already, without the

bit of sibling rivalry, of competition, but in a healthy way,” Gayle said. “I would say overwhelmingly we were always

hurdles of constant comparison and competition that spring from being born at the same exact time. For those brothers

thoughtful and caring of each other.”

and sisters who share a womb, hitting milestones and going through life together with someone contemporaneously is a special thing — but it can come with a price.

Until college, the fraternal twins went to the same schools and shared similar friend groups. They went to Jordan Glen School in Archer, Florida, for middle school, and attended Eastside High School. For siblings of staggered ages, having an independent group of friends that doesn’t necessarily include your older or younger brother or sister is a given.

But when you are the same age, same grade and classes, it can be a different story.

The Gainesville-born fraternal twins, 38, are now living in different cities, but they both remain as close as when they were children.

Gayle stayed in his hometown after getting his bachelor’s degree in design and master’s degree in architecture from the University of Florida. He is a principal at Level Architecture + Interiors, a firm in Gainesville. His sister, now Marissa Barthe, graduated from the University of Central Florida. She lives in Maryland and works in Washington D.C. as an occupational therapist for her county’s school system.

“We had a great childhood together,” Barthe said.

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“We each had our own circle of friends,” Gayle said, but “there was a lot of overlap in the middle.” The class size was minuscule at their private middle school, with only eight students, and according to him, the entire class got along as one big family. Then, when they started high school there was a rapid shift to a graduating class of about 500 students.

This was a big change, yet it also yielded them an opportunity to branch out and make friends in their own regard.

Although they had more peers from whom they formed their own social groups, there were still some factors that made the process less straightforward. The twins are both athletic and shared hobbies like tennis, which meant they shared a lot of time and friends during extracurricular activities as well. However, this similarity in interests did not transfer to their social needs. According to her brother, Barthe preferred to have a more intimate inner circle, while Gayle was more partial to larger groups. He said he thinks there’s a big difference in what gives each of them energy.

“Growing up, a challenge for me was that everything kind of came more natural to Adam,” Barthe said.

She confessed that although she was the one typically getting better grades, she had to put in more time and effort studying to achieve them. She recalls that in high school, their friends would ask them questions about their scores.

“They’d be like, ‘Well, who got the better SAT score?’ And of course, it was him, because I was awful at standardized testing,” Barthe said.

What would fuel him as an extroverted individual would instead drain his more introverted sister. The difference in how each twin recharges highlights their distinct

Gayle agrees that schoolwork came easier to him, and he could get away with studying less for exams than she did

personalities; however, they still share a strong bond built upon similar principles.

while receiving similar scores. And, although they never had to hold up their report cards side by side, it was more stressful on his twin that he remained “unfazed and relaxed when she was stressing out about it.” Even though they were raised in the same environment and by the same people, they still had different learning styles and inclinations — something that was not considered by outsiders when they would inevitably be contrasted with each other.

Barthe said the most difficult part of having a twin is the matter of constantly being compared to another person. She said it was challenging for her, and she felt she had to try to “live up to him.”

“It was so hard because Adam’s the best, he’s good at anything and everything, and everybody loves him, and he was popular,” Barthe said. “In a way, I always kind of felt like he’s the ‘good twin.’”

Photo courtesy of Adam Gayle and Marissa Barthe

While Barthe dealt with the pressure of being compared to her brother, Gayle said he holds great admiration for his sister’s gentle, caring nature, which evokes in him a protective instinct.

“Marissa and I always had a really good relationship,” Gayle said. “Fairly different personalities, but a lot of common interests, a lot of common values. For us, you always had a friend to play with, or ask questions of when you’re studying.”

“Something that makes her really unique and special is how much she cares about other people, and seeing that from afar is really inspiring,” Gayle said. “And at the same time, you want to make sure that your sibling is getting their needs met as well.”

Academics presented a challenge because everyone, regardless of whether they are at all related, has different strengths and weaknesses. People can have an innate aptitude for certain subject matters, and in a school system where certain learning styles and study methods are rewarded more than others, this is not exactly a level playing field.

Even though they are the same age, Barthe said she has always seen Gayle as an older brother figure in her life.

“He’s been really protective of me, and me to him as well, but I think he’s definitely taken on that big brotherly role,” Barthe said.

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APRIL 29, 2014

Photo courtesy of Crystal Anderson

Madison and Mason Anderson came into the world only seconds apart and have been separated only twice in the nine years since: once for a hospital stay, and once for a sleepover. They have separate rooms but prefer co-sleeping with each other for comfort and company.

Madison, about one second older by her mother’s estimate, is also extremely protective of her brother. Their mother, Crystal Anderson, 43, says that if she gets even a whiff of trouble for Mason, she leaps into action.

“Boy, she is on it,” Anderson said. “She’s going to school the next day; she’s going to talk to those people and tell them not to be picking on her brother.”

“They don’t learn the same,” she said. “She’s a little more fast-paced, and he takes a little more time. So, we have to pull them apart in those instances, because she becomes frustrated, and then he becomes frustrated.”

Even so, nothing can stop them from turning almost everything into a competition.

When it comes to academics, doing schoolwork comes

At first, Madison is nearly unable to narrow down just how

easier to Madison, while for Mason, his innate skills incline towards more physical activities. And they both recognize

many things they get competitive about, but then the examples come pouring out. Things like being chased

where their own strengths lie as well.

around with Nerf guns, pool races, hide and seek and even

Anderson notes that Madison’s knack for academia is

getting to the shower first can all turn into a battle.

“When we are in the car, we sometimes have arm wrestles,”

something that comes naturally to her, and is what Mason has to work a bit harder for. Mason’s more physical and musical inclinations are what Madison has to work on and

Madison said, “And I always win.”

put more effort into.

“Sometimes we play Rock, Paper, Scissors,” interjects Mason, “And I always win!”

The energetic, sporty siblings are in the fourth grade at Newberry Elementary and have distinct, juxtaposing personalities.

“One is very sweet, and one is very sassy,” she said. “Also sweet, but more sass.” She was referring to Mason and Madison, respectively.

That’s not where the distinctions end for them either. The Anderson twins have already encountered a related issue that Gayle and Barthe faced when they were growing up: keeping pace with their academics. For the younger twins, their situation was exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic.

During the pandemic, when the twins’ education went online and Anderson had to do more of the teaching herself, she noticed some differences in their learning styles becoming more apparent.

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As a twin mom, Anderson has come to understand that a one-size-fits-all approach harms her kids more than helping them. Though grouping them together might have been easier on her as a parent, in order to build and uplift the individuality of each child and have them feel secure in their own identity, it is important to recognize their individual needs. Especially because most people will “clump” twins together and assume they like all the same things, react the same way or learn the same way.

“You have to realize as a parent that they’re very different,” Anderson said. “Instead of forcing that meshing together, you have to pull them apart and give them that space and teach them differently.”

Barthe mentioned the process of separating them and giving each their own space might have been easier for their family because being born as mixed-gender fraternal twins worked in their favor a bit, helping them define their independent identities. She said their parents were great about treating each sibling the same, but also different.

However, the degree of independence twin siblings have from each other can be like a double-edged sword to those who wish for things to remain as they always were or those who want to launch out on their own.

Anderson said that if you have an older brother, for example, you expect him to go his own way after a while.

“But when you are in the womb together, and you’ve spent every day in your life together, how does that dynamic feel for them when they get to college?” She wondered. “Will they choose to continue to be close to each other?”

For Barthe, her connection with Gayle after they began living apart was a marked experience that illustrates how twin relationships evolve over time, and this is a dynamic that siblings born separately will never experience.

“We’ve always been extremely close,” said Barthe. “But the relationship has changed as we’ve gotten older and gone through different milestones.”

She said her brother got married first, and that it was a hard time for her. She added that she loves being an aunt, but when he started having kids, that also changed the dynamic between them.

Part of what made the experience so difficult was that she felt the pressures of comparison upon her still, and it had an impact on her mental health, she said.

“I’m a big fan of therapy, and I’ve taken advantage of it in my later years,” she said. “I notice some things coming up from childhood.

Being a twin has some inherent challenges — just being compared and being expected to meet certain milestones at a certain time, or the same time, and that doesn’t always unfold like that, but ultimately, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I feel so lucky to have a twin brother.”

Barthe said there’s no other sibling bond as great as being a twin, and she encourages other multiples to not take it for granted.

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“Even if they’re experiencing some challenges now, hopefully as they get older those might resolve so they can become close as adults,” she said. “Be supportive to your sibling, but take pride in your own identity.”

Twins should not be afraid of exploring their own identity and interests because that’s what makes them unique, Barthe said.

“You’re given this opportunity to have this built-in friend and confidant,” Gayle said. “Not every brother and sister get along or is close, but no other brother and sister is the exact same age and is experiencing the same things at the same time.”

Gayle said he is thankful that it was easy for them to lean on each other for friendship and support.

“I would speak nothing but highly of my sister, I’m very proud of her for what she’s accomplished in her life, Gayle said” When it comes to the nature vs. nurture discourse, twins are going through everything together concurrently, have the same parenting style, live in the same environment and encounter life lessons simultaneously. For twins, they have a unshakeable support system that accompanies each of them along the way.

Photo courtesy of Adam Gayle and Marissa Barthe

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Photo courtesy of Crystal Anderson

Controlled Burn:

HACKS TO BALANCE THE HEAT IN YOUR RAMEN

Disclaimer: I am a Peruvian who cannot handle spicy food.

By Daniella Palacios

However, as many do, I happen to love ramen — instant ramen that comes with a kick. Just not a huge kick. Some days, there’s nothing better than having a steaming bowl of comfort food on the table in under 10 minutes. So, if you were born with a sensitive palate that makes eating even a squiggle of Sriracha a struggle (like me), but you can’t help coming back to the instant noodles that burn so good, I know some ways you can still enjoy hot ramen without compromising the safety of your tastebuds.

I have a personal proclivity towards Nongshim’s spicy noodles, Shin Ramyun, which I was introduced to in high school, but these hacks work with any brand.

Before we get to the tips, some technical suggestions: This is best done in a saucepan because you want to be able to gauge the flavor and spiciness of the broth before your noodles soak in the flavor when they cook.

The microwaveable bowl ramen sometimes comes in won’t allow you to adjust the flavor. It will just cook everything at once.

Popping in the noodles should be one of the last steps.

Once you perfect your broth, make sure your garnishes, such as chopped scallions and a swish of sesame oil, are added last, for optimal crunch and fragrance.

Adding Egg

Another hack that pairs well with the previous step is adding in an egg to help temper the heat. The creamy yolk helps soothe the (now diminished) burn and adds protein to your meal. You can poach it and add it on top or just crack it right in.

Adding Dairy

Adding Flavor One way you can get a more balanced broth is to not add in the entire seasoning packet it comes with. Once your water is boiling, try adding half the packet or less.

However, since we don’t want a flavorless, watery broth, this is where the hack comes in. You’re going to add in half a packet or cube of chicken bouillon. Or beef, depending on the base stock of your favorite noodles. That way, you’re still able to keep some of the spiciness, and you don’t have to sacrifice flavor. The key is choosing a bouillon that doesn’t have a strong distinctive taste that conflicts with the flavor profile of your ramen. My favorite brand is Goya’s Chicken Bouillon.

This is my preferred method to make it milder, but you can play around with the ratios to your liking. Remember to taste as you go.

Lastly, if you want to get more experimental in your journey to tolerably spicy ramen, adding milk, heavy cream or cheese is also an option. We’ve all heard that drinking milk after eating something too spicy helps bring down the heat, but this proactive technique has you combining the dairy products in the broth itself. I was hesitant at first, but after swapping a cup of water for milk, I have no regrets.

If you don’t have the level of spice tolerance needed to handle spicy noodles, you can try these tips, play with the ratios and flavors, and enjoy ramen at a spiciness that you can handle.

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“Ho, Ho, Hold Up?!”

Dealing with Family Conflict During the Holidays

By Dazion Prosser

“H

ave a cool yule and a mellow new year!” said Lootin’

Lenny from the ‘70s sitcom, “Good Times.”

In the show’s Christmas episode, a soon-to-be adopted child, Penny, shoplifts a necklace from a department store in hopes of surprising her adoptive mother, Willona, with a loving gift. Little does Penny know that their landlord Mr. Bookman and Mrs. Dobbs from the Department of Child Protective Services will be joining the family for the holidays. With Penny’s adoption hanging in the balance, her fate of finding a loving family is in jeopardy.

Of course, family issues during the holiday season don’t present themselves in such dramatic fashion, however, the reality of personalities clashing and long-time grudges can impede having a truly good time.

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A 2022 survey commissioned by BetterHelp says more than 25% of respondents expect managing family dynamics to negatively impact their well-being during the holiday season.

Even though there seems to be a large percentage of people who dread holidays, family therapists give their two cents on what the common themes are during the holidays and how to avoid these conflicts for years to come.

Set Boundaries Disagreements arise among family members that could, in turn, result in verbal and sometimes physical abuse, Gainesville family therapist Charlene Cole wrote in an email.

To combat major family conflicts, it is best to set boundaries to avoid a disaster, Cole said. From your aunts and uncles asking about your progress in college to how your relationship is going with your partner, the intent of what you want to address needs to be clear.

Setting boundaries even extends to actions; setting expectations on when and how you want to travel, the events you want to be a part of and the items you want to bring are all essential barriers to put in place, Cole said.

If all else fails and you start feeling uncomfortable at a family event, Cole reassures it is okay to leave if you need to.

Prioritize Peace When every family gets together, there is always a period of downtime; the holidays are no different. Cole suggests if you feel overwhelmed or just need some time to center yourself in your environment, take it. Especially for those suffering from any mental health illnesses, separation and recouping is of utmost importance.

According to a survey done by VeryWellMind, 26% of respondents expressed stress over the holiday season that can potentially irritate further mental health concerns.

Self.com asked University of Ottowa psychotherapist professor Pavna K. Sodhi, EdD what she does to stay grounded, and her response was, “This time away affords me the opportunity to center myself and be more patient and less judgmental within familial dynamics.”

Resolve Parental Conflicts Estrangement is one of the most common tears within the fabric of a family during the holidays, according to a British Broadcasting Corporation news article on “Why festive gatherings can be so toxic.” A study done to delve into the closeness of relationships between children and their parents found that only 28% of respondents said they had harmonious relationships with their kin. When it comes to having an enjoyable holiday season, rifts between parental units can dampen the mood and create a shift in family members’ perception of their place in the family.

“There's always the threat of a loss of status in the family, and a loss of connection," said UK psychologist Terri Apter in the article.

Apter also mentioned in the article that there is no hard fix to this dilemma, however, familiarizing yourself with the dynamics of the family and taking small steps to resolve personal relationships with your parents will yield good results over time.

Cole recommends people take the necessary time to pay attention to how they feel around their family. Stressors like finances and personal anguish can sour the mood at the dinner table, but making the effort to calm those feelings is worthwhile.

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Empty Nest, Fledgling Bird

By Daniella Palacios

D

on’t get me wrong, I love my mom. But we are not friends. We were never friends.

I still go to her for advice, perhaps now more than ever before. I tell her everything. And even though I grew up always butting heads with her, we almost never fight now.

parenting fell to my mom. Things like sitting at the kitchen table doing math homework until late at night, chores preceding any (approved) social outing and helping out around the house were commonplace. This alone I wouldn’t consider particularly harsh, but we also had location tracking apps on our phone and our social media use was

Our relationship, I admit, was quite rocky in my adolescence

limited/regulated to a certain degree. Day in and day out, I had a schedule to follow, I had expectations to meet, and I

and especially throughout high school. I’m her firstborn daughter and equally as stubborn as she is. I thought my way of doing things was better, and for her, the phrase “it’s my

had to ask for permission for every little thing. My mom had a say in every single decision I made. If she didn’t want me hanging out with someone she didn’t know that well, I

way or the highway” could not be more accurate. But now, seemingly from one moment to the next, it’s never been better. Still, labeling our connection as friendship doesn’t

wasn’t allowed to go. She had to know the parents of the person whose house I was going to, even if I wasn’t spending the night. At the time, I didn’t understand why,

seem like the right fit.

and I always got the same answer: “I’m sorry, I hope you’ll understand me someday,” she would say.

And my mom agrees.

My first semester of college didn’t go the way I originally I’ve observed a strange phenomenon that happens when young, typically second-generation American women in their late teens and early 20s — like me — move out of their

planned. I had fantasized about everything I was going to do the second I lived alone since middle school. I was going to buy all the sugary cereal we were never allowed to have. I

family homes and begin living on their own. I’ve gathered, after conversations with both friends and strangers, that for

was going to stay up all night and go out to clubs and parties and do stupid things. I would buy clothes that weren’t on

many there seems to be a moment, a distinct switch, that changes our relationships with our mothers when we begin living apart from them.

sale. I was going to sleep in. I was going to clean only when I felt like it. I was going to do crazy things to my hair.

I went from feeling like I was always being treated as a child at home in Orlando to immediately morphing into a fully developed adult the second I moved to Gainesville. An adult who was worthy of being treated nearly as an equal, which was quite a change. My mom, a Peruvian woman with a strict, old-school upbringing who ran a tight ship and typically was in control of every domestic aspect of our home, was suddenly asking me, “Do you want me to take my shoes off when I go into your room?” Or “Can I move this blanket?” I was shocked to my very core; She was being nice to me? She was respecting me and my space?

Growing up, my experience was that I had strict parents, and given that my dad worked long hours, the bulk of

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I didn’t do… any of that stuff. Well, only the cereal, staying up late and hair part, but none of the other things. And I’m glad I didn’t. That’s not how I was raised.

impossible to enforce after you leave the nest, so the goal was to teach us these qualities to make sure we had these tools when she was no longer there to guide us.

I recently had a deep, heartfelt conversation with her sitting at that same kitchen table where so many tears had fallen. It provided me with clarity, and I realized what felt like such an abrupt change for me was only the natural continuation of being a parent for her. It was simply the next step in our relationship. She told me that for her, all those grueling years of drilling good habits into us, all those bad moments spent trying to teach us something valuable later in life, were part of her job while it was within her power. Things like how to properly keep our spaces clean, the value of hard work, making sure our academics were our priority and the

She never considered herself strict. Because of her upbringing in Peru, what I considered strict she said was considered extremely lax in her family. In her motherland, she wasn’t allowed to go to other people’s houses by herself at all, and when she managed to convince her parents, she had a curfew to comply with up until she was 29 years old.

The rules in her house were, “You do as you’re told, and you eat what is cooked for you at the table.” There was absolutely no back talk allowed, and everyone had to comply with the role they were assigned in the family hierarchy.

Compared to that, my upbringing doesn’t seem quite that

importance of leaning on and being there for my family were lessons she imparted on us knowing they would serve us greatly when we were on our own. These are nearly

harsh. The draconian rules and punishments my mom endured — although conducive to the person she is today — were not something she wanted to recreate with her children. She aimed for us to learn what she did, with lessons that were less severe. If she had held the status of friend, I don’t think those lessons would have been as effective. Her role was parent, not buddy. While we can learn some things from our friends, they don’t have the same kind of authority over us that our caregivers do.

Once my brother and I moved out for college, that chapter of our lives closed, and we had the freedom to make the choices we wanted to. She had molded us into the people we are today, and the molding was done. Now, her job is simply to support and uplift us as we find our way through life.

I’m thankful that through her own methods, my mom taught me to make the right choices. Of course, now I can say I’ve scratched a few things off the list of things I wanted to do, but I did it carefully and responsibly. I was smart about it, and to this day I don’t have too many regrets. And it's thanks to my mom.

As for our non-friendship, I think it's safe to say that if our relationship had been of any other nature, I don’t think I would be the person I am today. In truth, I prefer the title of “mother” to that of “friend” for her. She is so much more than a friend to me. Nothing could come closer to love than “Mom.”

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How to Best Mend Damaged Relationships

By Dazion Prosser

W

2. Avoid Starting Rumors

saying fails to address is how detrimental mistakes can be to any relationship.

Social psychologist Harold Kelley’s research in “Attribution Theory,” a theory that is “concerned with how ordinary people explain the causes of behavior and events,” says people

Of course, this saying may hold true in whatever situation it is most suited for, but the reality is that our mistakes may

create predisposed notions about others’ actions and abilities.

The basis of the theory says one person’s assumption of

have everlasting consequences on social bonds with people.

another person’s actions is either based on that first person’s individual behavior or based on behavior influenced by a

Maybe you bailed on a promise to a close friend or left your

group. In other words, as University of Manchester psychology professor and researcher Saul Mcleod writes in his blog, “People tend to see cause-and-effect relationships,

e all make mistakes, says the old cliché. But what the

coworkers in the dark on your job commitments. There is no doubt that you’ve done something wrong. But what you do to right these wrongs could potentially save you and those you’ve wronged from further social hemorrhaging.

1. Rebuilding Trust The person you’ve broken trust with may never get over it.

However, Macquarie University business professor Stephen L. Grover says the only actions to keep in mind in restoring trust is to rebuild that trust over time with many consecutively met promises. In his 2014 research titled “Follower reactions to leader trust violations,” Grover says every person is different in how they deal with a breach of trust, but there is still a considerable amount of work required to restore it after repeated violations. As a result, he warns in his research that even though a person can make good on every subsequent promise, that does not guarantee a fully mendedrelationship.

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even where there is none!” Mcleod suggests that before people make assumptions about others, make sure you know what you’re talking about. If not, Shanghai University of Finance and Economics researcher Long-Zeng Wu says in his research that unchecked rumors can lead to serious emotional distress in people.

3. Being a better listener and communicator University of Bristol professor in social neuroscience Michael Banissy, Ph.D, says in a blog about the positive effects of good listening that being a better communicator heightens a person’s confidence and self-esteem. As the saying by Greek philosopher Diogenes goes, "We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less." This saying should ring true in improving all relationships and can prevent social disconnect and bridges burnt.

Change of Plans:

HISPANIC MIGRANTS SHARE THEIR JOURNEY TOWARD A NEW LIFE

By Aurora Martínez

T

he Salvadorian civil war from 1980 to 1992 didn’t uproot Luz Sevilla from her homeland. Four decades later, lack of opportunities and fear for the future did.

“We had to restructure our lives,” Sevilla said. Her husband petitioned for her and their daughter to become U.S. residents. Once approved, they had to arrive in the U.S. no later than the first week of January 2022.

While most of Sevilla’s family immigrated to the United States amid the war, she stayed and was raised by her grandparents, “It was a difficult decision because I didn’t do it back in the graduated from college, got married and built a life she loved in Santa Ana, a city located about 40 miles northwest of San

days, so why now?” Sevilla said she wondered. Moving to the U.S. felt like the best choice for their well-being and

Salvador, the capital city.

their daughter’s future.

On the last day of 2021, she took a one-way flight to Miami

The family chose Gainesville to be closer to her sister-in-law

and then a six-hour drive north to Gainesville — their new home. Sevilla, 52, arrived with her husband, Álvaro, and the youngest of three children, Fátima, who was 18 years old at

and her husband, both of whom are retired and nearing their 80s. The university city offered a calmer and less abrupt environment for their daughter than Miami or any

the time.

other big city would. But at the same time, finding a

community and learning the ropes of their new home “El Salvador was no longer giving us opportunities to succeed continues to be a work in process, Sevilla said. as professionals,” Sevilla said.

After the Chapultepec Peace Accords were signed in 1992, Sevilla was optimistic about her country. But with the passing of time, the country became unsafe again: Gangs started terrorizing people and the youth started losing hope for the future, she said.

When Nayib Bukele was elected president in 2018, she was the general manager for APACULSA (Asociación Pro Patrimonio Cultural de Santa Ana), a nonprofit organization dedicated to the preservation and promotion of Santa Ana’s cultural and historical heritage. In 2021, the government started closing and limiting the space and funds allocated for cultural spaces, including APACULSA. Amid the uncertainty and the COVID-19 pandemic, she and her family decided to rethink their future. Sevilla’s husband, a U.S. citizen and a health insurance broker whose office is in Brickell, Miami, used to travel between the U.S. and El Salvador frequently but got stuck in the Central American country due to travel restrictions.

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“The first year was a real challenge,” she said. Before moving to the U.S., Sevilla thought she knew some English, at least enough to get by. Soon she realized theory and practice are not the same. While her husband and daughter both speak English and feel comfortable in anglophone environments, going to the supermarket, sitting at restaurants or ordering a coffee all felt like frustrating tasks to her. Adding to the frustration, Sevilla said she didn’t find a palpable Hispanic community upon arrival, and in a few instances she even felt rejected by fellow Salvadorians who had come before her.

Misconceptions don’t discriminate against age Emmanuel Rivera, although younger than Sevilla, has lived and faced similar challenges adopting a language and social dynamics he didn't know before arriving in Gainesville. The 16-year-old migrated from Puerto Rico in March 2021 with his mother, dad and younger brother looking for better economic and educational opportunities.

The months leading up to their departure live fresh in his memory.

Her daughter now attends Santa Fe College, and Sevilla works helping her husband with the logistics and social media outreach of his business. It was through a Hispanic

“A lot of events for such a tiny body,” Rivera said. “Every day that went by gave me more and more stress.”

community fair organized by Tu Fiesta Radio at which they were offering insurance services that she finally started feeling a sense of community. There, she learned about

He wasn’t only coping with the consequences of the pandemic and online school but also with having to say

English classes offered by the nonprofit organization

goodbye to his musical instruments, his childhood friends, Church’s Texas Chicken — his favorite fast-food restaurant

Children Beyond Our Borders, which she said also opened the doors to participate in more community activities.

— and more importantly, his grandparents.

Determined to tackle her struggle with the language and expand her social circle, Sevilla has taken conversational classes at Cooper Memorial Library in Lake County and English as a second language classes run by the Alachua County Public Schools at Corry Village four times a week.

“I have improved and integrated more, and I now know more Latin Americans here in Gainesville,” she said.

“But it’s really been difficult.”

Learning a language isn’t just about words and grammar, but also about understanding its culture and even down to working home appliances, Sevilla said. Basic things like how to schedule a doctor's appointment, how to use the burners of an electric stove and how to use the garbage disposal may be second nature for people who grew up in the U.S. but not for recently arrived individuals. Having support along the way is important, she argued.

“Sometimes you get more support from people who are not your family or fellows from your own country,” Sevilla said.

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The night before flying to Orlando and driving up to Gainesville, he said he fell asleep on his grandmother’s lap.

The day after, he kissed and hugged goodbye and ran off to the car taking them to the airport so that no one would see him cry. When they arrived in Orlando, he felt mad at his mother for thinking she was pulling him away from the people he loves the most.

“I felt so much sadness that I didn’t talk to her during the drive from Orlando to Gainesville,” he said.

Despite being the first one to open their new home, it was not until about seven months later that it started to feel like it, he said. At first, he didn’t know anything about the city,didn’t know anyone and didn’t speak English.

“I suffered a lot when I moved” he said. “English was the worst of coming here.”

Making friends had never been easy for him, Rivera said, and not speaking the language made it harder. He was alienated and put into boxes he didn’t belong to. People — classmates and teachers included — would make fun of his

School, has found friends and discovered a passion for filmmaking and animation, which he said he is planning on pursuing in college.

“Because I can now speak English, I feel freer than I did when I first arrived,” he said.

pronunciation, assume his nationality and imply he had entered the country illegally for not speaking the language, he said.

A wooden pendant necklace in the shape of a cuatro with the Puerto Rican flag carved on it reminds him of his roots and the people he loves the most on the island. Rivera said that although the Puerto Rican flag gets confused with

“If you don’t like my English, then don’t talk to me,” he said he learned to tell them. Rivera would also teach people how

Cuba’s, it still serves as a clear sign for people to know that he speaks Spanish and can help them face language barriers

Puerto Ricans are, in fact, U.S. citizens.

if needed.

He started off as a seventh-grader student in the ESOL program at Westwood Middle School, and he said the

“I came to peace with the fact that the U.S. is my home,” Rivera said.

experience since then has been difficult but better than expected. Rivera is now a sophomore at Gainesville High

Adapting and making a new place your own comes with time Instead of having a pink dress and a traditional quinceañera celebration, Maria Eugenia Zelaya decided to come to Gainesville and visit her grandmother in 1992. She traveled on August 5 with her mother and brother, and the plan was never to stay, she said.

The daughter of a Venezuelan man and a Nicaraguan woman, Zelaya grew up in Venezuela. She and her family arrived in Gainesville a few months after Hugo Chavez’s first coup attempt. Given the tumultuous political context in Venezuela, Zelaya said her parents decided it was best to stay in the U.S. Supported by her mother’s family, which was already established in the country, they started their immigration process to stay.

“I never said goodbye,” Zelaya said, “which was the most difficult part.”

No one knew she wasn’t returning. Her friends thought it was a vacation trip only, and it wasn’t until 10 years later that she went back to her homeland for the first time.

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Keeping in touch with people was also challenging.

Smartphones didn’t exist and most correspondence happened in the form of letters — delays and missing pieces in communication made keeping up with her loved ones challenging, she said.

“I feel that those of us who have been lucky enough to be able to study, to be able to establish ourselves,” she said, “I think we should give a hand to those who have recently arrived because we know that it’s complicated — we know it’s a difficult process.”

Before starting anew in the U.S., Zelaya felt proud of her

After so many years living in the U.S., Zelaya recognizes it

bicultural roots and used to say she would never learn English or leave Venezuela; instead, she said her plan was to teach everyone Spanish. For a long time, she struggled to

isn’t easy to feel connected to the places and cultures that have shaped who she is. She has adopted U.S. American traditions like Thanksgiving while also making Pan de Jamón

feel comfortable communicating verbally in English, feared

with her family during Christmas time and playing music

she would lose her roots and chose to limit her circle to Spanish speakers mostly, she said. She became friends with

that reminds her of her Hispanic roots.

fellow Hispanics — Venezuelans, Colombians, Nicaraguans,

When asked about her background, instead of explaining

Puerto Ricans — who were going through similar adaptation processes.

herself, she resorts to: “Soy Maria Eugenia. Soy latinoamericana.” (I’m Maria

Even as an undergraduate student at the University of Florida, Zelaya remembers avoiding the language, but a friend gave her a wake-up call: “Don’t you see your accent reflects you know two languages and are more intelligent than many others?” she said he told her. Amid all of it, Zelaya said she also encountered great mentors who made a difference in her academic and personal development.

Now 46, she has lived in Gainesville for over 30 years, learned English, married, had a child and found purpose in teaching Spanish at a local high school. Zelaya has witnessed the city, herself and the Hispanic community change and grow throughout the years. The percentage of Hispanic or Latino people in Gainesville increased from 1 in 15 in 2000 to 1 in 8 in 2020, according to the most latest statistics available from the U.S. Census Bureau.

Zelaya said she feels fulfilled by being able to share her culture and heritage through her work. Aside from teaching Spanish full-time, she also serves the community at large as the director of Children Beyond Our Borders, a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving people’s quality of life and providing sustainable access to education.

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Eugenia. I’m Latin American.)

Honorable mentions include “Apples to Apples,” “PieFace!” and “Uno Attack.”

Our Top Picks for Family-Friendly Games to Play This Holiday Season

By Dazion Prosser

Beyond watching your siblings open their presents and asking for thirds at Thanksgiving, the time in between these moments can be cumbersome. However, you can’t always rely on a Thanksgiving football game or your favorite holiday movie to keep you company. So, what do you do? You play games! These are four games to play that will guarantee a good time during the holidays.

5 Second Rule

Reverse Charades

This six-player game consists of over 250 cards with questions that test your quick wit and general knowledge. You will have five seconds to name three of anything before the marble-powered timer runs out. You can play conservatively, allowing three strikes if someone doesn’t complete the list in time, or aggressively, only giving your family members one chance to beat the clock.

A classic game of charades is fun, but it’s always good to switch it up to keep your family members on their toes. Rather than one person acting out things for everyone to guess, there will be two teams that read words from cards for their designated guesser to guess. The family can decide how much time a team has to guess as many things as possible, and the team with the most correct guesses wins!

Family Feud Card Game

The Water Challenge

You might not get the chance to shake hands with Steve Harvey himself, but you will still have bragging rights if your team wins. Like the show, the cards will present questions that you will have to guess with strict time constraints. You will probably need someone not playing to keep score, but otherwise, you can make this game your own.

You just need a pitcher or large glass and plenty of water for this game. The goal is to pour water up to the brim of the pitcher without spilling it. The person to make the “cup runneth over” loses or must act out a punishment decided upon by the family. This is a game that rivals the most complex of board and card games and will guarantee laughter.

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