Between Marriages

BETWEEN MARRIAGES

This story is short because I remained single a mere six months. Dick saw the children very often, we had agreed that the more frequent, the better. To boot, he bought a farm in Gilmanton Iron Works, New Hampshire and took the children up there frequently. Although he was a highly critical man and father, he was immensely proud of his children and remained involved in their lives.

My children were doing well. But Wendy, the eldest, was sad that her dad was not living with us anymore. I had previously prepared her for this but she had forgotten. Understandable. Luckily, she had a bevy of friends. Billy and Douglas were too young to feel the difference, especially since Dick was often available. We had an agreement that they would see him whenever he wanted.

One hitch was that I was left with a dog named Fufu which had belonged to Dick. She had gotten old, and required care that I was unprepared to give. With some hesitation, I marched her down to the dog hospital and pronounced her Dick Gorlin’s dog whom I was dropping off, gave them Dick’s number and took off.

Dick and I did much better separated than we did together. We never argued over splitting up possessions. I stayed friendly with his parents – although Poppy and Nina (my parents) never forgave Nana (Dick’s mom) due to arguments over tablecloths and the like at our wedding many years prior.

As a recent divorcée, I met and dated a number of young men. While that sounds unexceptional, after experiencing two stressful years of a failing marriage, I was immensely relieved to be free, meeting new people, feeling good about myself, having novel places to visit. I was busy, felt like a teenager, and enjoyed the novelty of different beaus, with whom I went sailing, dining, and hiking. I think I will leave it at that.

Except that one incident deserves a place in history. While dating a gentleman from Providence, I inadvertently had left a compromising

feminine accoutrement at my parents’ apartment. Perhaps two months later, as I was entertaining several guests at a dinner party in my dining room, I opened a side compartment of a wooden cabinet – and out popped onto the floor, in full view, you guessed it.... My mother had obviously chosen this method of return. A particularly prudish guest yelled, “That’s disgusting,” reinforcing my first instinct to dive unceremoniously under the table.

During this period of time, I visited my parents in Florida. Since my good friend Rose Scotch’s mom lived there, I spent some time with her. She suggested, “Why don’t you go out with Tom Gilbert?” To which I responded, “How could I? He’s a friend ‒ it would be incest.” What was eerie was that simultaneously, Tom was on vacation with Robin and Suzanne Farkas, Rose’s sister. Suzanne suggested to Tom, “You should call Margie Gorlin. You may not marry her, but you will have a great time.” I had known Tom previously because his then wife-to-be and I had dated best friends when we were both working in NYC. Subsequently, she married Tom and I married Dick. She died, I got divorced, and Tom and I got together.

It was extremely comfortable since we had mutual friends with whom we were close. Anyhow, I met Tom in New York for our first date and he proposed on the spot. We dated in Boston, New York and Easthampton where he had an inviting summer house near the beach. Robin Farkas sent his private plane to Boston for me several times, and I always took Doug and his wooden horse. On other occasions, the whole family visited the Easthampton home where we ate amazing grilled steaks, swam in the ocean, played games, went sightseeing and luxuriated in a thoroughly relaxing environment.

Tom and I made arrangements to marry as soon as my divorce allowed. I put my house up for sale, and we saw each other on weekends – everything looked ideal; yet, I could see that Tom’s children, Evan and Clifford, were very different from my brood. Tom’s idea of parenting was distinctly different from mine. Although he was a most caring and loving father to ALL five children – including generosity and attention – nevertheless, our ways of discipline, of socializing the kids, of calling a spade a spade differed radically. We never did reconcile these differences and approaches, and this divide caused a major rift in our relationship.

Nevertheless, we had fallen in love and fulfilled many of each other’s needs. My family moved from Boston to Westchester where Tom bought an old Dutch Colonial house in Harrison. This you will read about in the next chapter.