Herb Reich

HERB REICH

It was shortly after my husband Tom died in 2017 that I met Herb Reich. A coincidental meeting between my daughter, Wendy, and Herb’s daughter, Amanda, resulted in our being “fixed up,” ergo he called me out of the blue and we met. It only took around three dates for the chemistry between us to take effect, and a bombshell was born. He had been widowed for nine years and had learned to live alone in ways which less independent people might not have achieved. Although he adored his children and grandchild, he was resigned to his solitary way of life in his home in Hastings, New York. So I really do not know why he called me. Apparently he initially hesitated, so I emailed the absolute best picture of me to Wendy who somehow got it to Herb, and I believe that inspired him to contact me.

We spoke for over an hour on the first phone conversation, and I recognized a fascinating and diverse intellect, gracious person and hopefully a good date! We first met at what we later referred to as “our restaurant.” We ate Chinese food (which he wanted incessantly), and the magic began. During the first five minutes, he leaned over his outstretched elbows and declared with enthusiasm: “You are so attractive!” Five minutes later, he repeated the same declaration. I invited him to a performance at SUNY and kissed him on the cheek when we went to our cars.

We were in our 80’s and yet felt like teenagers as a romance blossomed… and fast. The attraction was so intense that we actually searched

for an explanation, which came down to “chemistry.” Later we realized we had an inexplicable number of characteristics in common. Herb stimulated me, amused me, flattered me, and he didn’t fool around – very early on he said “You know, we don’t have much time” ‒ and on another occasion said “I have a feeling this is going to be a long drawn-out affair” – we became lovers. He called me “his woman” and I called him “my boyfriend.” We took care of each other, confided in one another, talked for hours, relishing each other’s company no matter the subject. We loved each other without restraint.

This was a genuinely content person… mired in pragmatism, wisdom, without any pretension, ‒ he knew what was important and what was not. Herb knew who he was and what he was about. Further, I never heard a nasty word from him in 24 months – I told him he had a tact gene, he was gentle, adoring, and totally ignored everything he did not want to do – like a cluttered garage, would not get a Life Alert, had stale food in his refrigerator, never tucked in his shirt, and was absolutely delicious. As we hugged, we defined “the perfect fit”… we were home.

He referred to us as “Love Among The Ruins” as we struggled to get out of our cars. He told me that I talked too much, and we both giggled. We brought each other little gifts, and all his cards were signed “To My Love.” I raced to my phone each time I entered my house and treasured the ensuing phone call. We went on three trips during our time together, – Philadelphia, New Orleans and Boston. He was treasuring the idea of a River Cruise or a trip to Paris or Rome, past travels he had made with his beloved wife. Our recently planned trip to Washington was cancelled but we were planning another in May.

Herb wrote six books mainly disproving facts we were taught in school. For example: “Lies They Teach in School, Exposing the Myths Behind 250 Commonly Believed Fallacies,” “101 Things that Piss Me Off and Thousands of Other Things That SUCK Just As Much,” “2501 Things That Really Piss Me Off, a Catalogue of Insults and Intrusions That Are Sure to Ruin My Day,” “Numberpedia: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know (and a Few Things You Didn’t) About Numbers.” Additionally, he served as Senior Editor at John Wiley & Sons for 15 years, approving publication of a manuscript which won the National Book Award.

Herb was an invited contributor to several editions of The Random House Dictionary of the English Language and the Corsini Encyclopedia of Psychology. After completing a Ph.D. in Psychology, he edited and chose publications for educational books for professional psychologists. Moreover, the Westchester Advertising Club bestowed on Herb the award for writing the best radio ads for three running years.

This Renaissance man also wrote comedy over many years for the NBC-TV Comedy Hour, delighting us with his hilarious lines on any number of our favorite shows. His colleagues and friends included Mel Brooks, Neil Simon, Woody Allen, Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters – and countless others who became famous in the early days of live TV in New York. Also sent to work in Hollywood, Herb joined a group of “comedic royalty” – his experiences never failed to delight me, and I made him repeat them over and over.

As my son Billy put it, Herb wasn’t just some old guy. When he greeted you, he did it as if he had known you his whole life. He made you feel like you were the only person in the room. He had a hysterical sense of humor and loved jokes, -- the dirtier the better! Brilliant and stimulating, he was a pleasure to be with. He was crazy about my mother, and it didn’t take long before it felt like he was a member of the family.

I adored him. And I feel blessed to have been his closest friend, uniquely in tune with each other, in his final years. This impish sweetheart of a man died the way he lived – with quiet pleasures, self-confidence, and infinite love for those he treasured.

He was stardust.

In addition to everything else, Herb was a funny and creative wordsmith. Here is some of his work:

A bicycle built for two is such That I really don’t enjoy it much When I sit in front I always hear Directions coming from the rear But if I choose to sit in back A view of what’s ahead I lack Any future tandem that I ride Will have the seats side by side.

Mary, Queen of Scots Admitted having hots For the royal throne of Britain

But as it came to pass She should have gone to Mass Then headed home to do her knittin’

Instead She lost her head For being smitten, it is written