Appendix F: Stress Relievers for Kids (and Their Parents

Appendix F

Stress Relievers for Kids (and Their Parents)

Too much cortisol isn’t good for anybody. An easy way to reduce levels of this stress hormone is through breathing and gentle body awareness. It only takes about 10 deep breaths to move to our parasympathetic nervous system (the relaxed one) from the sympathetic nervous system (the stressed one).

A breathing exercise kids find fun

Explain to your child the goal of the breathing exercise and how you are going to do it.

Ask your child to choose a favourite teddy bear or other stuffy. Explain that you and your child and their stuffy are going to breathe together. First you are going to practise while sitting or standing. Then you are going to do it with your stuffy on your belly when you are lying down.

Method

Lie down on the floor on your back with your child lying on their back next to you.

Place their stuffy on their tummy. The goal is to watch the stuffy rise and return to the starting point as your child does slow breathing.

Ideally, do this four times. You may have some giggling at first but after a while your child may settle down.

The breathing

With your young child who can count to 6 but cannot yet hold their breath:

Part I (sitting or standing)

1. Count to 4 as you and your child breathe in through your noses if possible (use “kid counting” – so it is not too slow for them) 2. Count to 6 as you and your child blow out all of the air through your mouths

Part II (lying with stuffies on your bellies)

1. Count to 4 as you and your child breathe in through your noses if possible (use “kid counting” – so it is not too slow for them) 2. Count to 6 as you and your child blow out all of the air through your mouths

As you breathe in the stuffy rises. As you breathe out the stuffy lowers.

With your child who can hold their breath:

Part I (sitting or standing)

1. Count to 4 as you and your child breathe in through your noses if possible (use “kid counting” – so it is not too slow for them) 2. Count to 7 as you and your child hold your breath (this is why the kid counts need to be fairly quick – so they can hold their breath for a count of seven) 3. Count to 8 as you and your child blow out all of the air through your mouths

Practise a few times.

Part II (lying with stuffies on your bellies – see above)

Body awareness for relaxation

Through tense and release from toes to top, you can help your child focus on different parts of their body and relax.

With your child in a lying down position (in bed is perfect) use your best soothing voice, and ask,

• “Can you clench your feet as tightly as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.” • “Can you tighten your legs as much as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.” • “Can you pull in your tummy as tightly as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.” • “Can you clench your hands as tightly as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.” • “Can you tighten your arms as much as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.” • “Can you scrunch your shoulders as much as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.” • “Can you scrunch up your face as much as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.” • “Can you tighten your whole body as much as you can? Can you hold that tight feeling? (pause) And now, let go.”

You may notice as you do this that your child releases their breath as they let go. Hopefully, by the end of the exercise their whole body is relaxed and they are ready to sleep. You may be too.

In General

There are no specified ages for doing these relaxation techniques. You can modify and simplify them so that they work with a toddler or make them more complicated (using left side and right side of the body) for an older child. Sometimes just asking your child to breathe in for a count of four and out for a count of six a few times can do the trick. Breathing out longer than breathing in has a more calming effect.

Many parents have found the resources of Kira Willey, such as “Breathe like a Bear,” helpful: https://kirawilley.com/contact