Voices Volume 22

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'Life During & Beyond the Pandemic'

22 23 This Year's Magazine Theme

'Life During & Beyond the Pandemic'

We are not just living for today or tomorrow, we are living to secure the future of our grandchildren, not just our children.

This is our DUTY Do not be concerned

H.H Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan

A Letter from the Chair Welcome to the vibrant world of Voices Magazine! In the pages that follow, you will explore a journey where voices from all corners come together to share their stories, dreams, and inspirations.

The COVID-19 pandemic swept across the world, reshaping our lives and testing our resilience. As we emerge from this global crisis, Voices Magazine presents a captivating collection of stories, reflections, and artistry that illuminate life during and beyond the pandemic.

This special edition of Voices Magazine goes beyond mere documentation; it is a heartfelt tribute to the visionary leadership of the United Arab Emirates and the unwavering support provided by His Highness Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan.

Throughout the pandemic, their leadership has illuminated the way forward, offering guidance, strength, and hope to their citizens. They stand as beacons of resilience and unity, exemplifying what can be achieved when leadership is driven by empathy and a commitment to the well-being of the people.

Within these pages, you will discover the profound contributions of students who have invested their passion and effort into their artistic creations. From the elegant translations that bridge cultures to the poignant stories that capture the human experience, the evocative artworks that speak volumes, and the heartfelt poetry that stirs the soul, these students have infused this magazine with the spirit of a generation.

This journey would not have been possible without the dedication and diligence of our editorial teams. We are profoundly grateful to Ms. Theresa Beadle, whose wisdom and guidance have been instrumental in shaping this edition. We are also thankful to Dr. Marlene Allen, Ms. Mary Donnenworth, and Mr. Edward Carlstedt for their insights and artistic visions that enriched our content.

We hold deep appreciation for our talented students, whose contributions have genuinely transformed this edition into a true reflection of the diverse and creative spirit that defines Voices Magazine.

Finally, we express our gratitude to Prof. Hassan Al Nabooda, the Dean of the College of Humanities and Social Sciences, for his continuous support Sincerely, Dr. Moza Al Tenaijy Chair of Languages and Literature Department

Dear Readers,

A Letter from the Editor

As I sit down to write this letter, I am overwhelmed by the multitude of emotions that have accompanied us throughout the pandemic. The past couple of years have been a journey like no other in our lifetime, one that has tested our resilience, adaptability, and unity. Our lives have been profoundly impacted, and it is with great pride that I present to you this special edition of our student magazine, dedicated to capturing the essence of the pandemic experience.

This magazine serves as a time capsule, preserving the stories, struggles, and triumphs of a generation that faced unprecedented challenges. We have witnessed the world come together in the face of adversity, with countless individuals showing immense courage, compassion, and innovation. It is a testament to the power of the human spirit and our ability to persevere.

Within these pages, you will find a diverse range of voices and perspectives. Our contributors, fellow students who have braved the storm alongside us, have poured their hearts and souls into their work. Through their essays, poems, interviews, and artwork, they have beautifully encapsulated the myriad of emotions and experiences we have all shared.

The pandemic has shown us the importance of community and solidarity. We have seen young minds come together to support each other, to raise awareness, and to lend a helping hand. This magazine not only celebrates their creativity but also aims to inspire others to find their own unique ways of making a positive impact. While the pandemic brought many hardships, it also sparked innovation and resilience. We have witnessed the rapid acceleration of technology, the evolution of remote learning, and the birth of new forms of art and expression. Our magazine embraces these transformations and aims to showcase the power of human ingenuity and adaptation.

I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to our contributors, whose work brings life to the pages of this magazine. Their unwavering dedication and creativity have made this edition truly special. I would also like to thank our readers for their continued support and engagement. It is your enthusiasm that fuels our desire to tell meaningful stories and create a sense of unity. Lastly, I would like to thank all of the students and faculty members that have spent hours reading, editing, and designing this years magazine.

In closing, I invite you to embark on this journey through the pages of our student magazine.

May it serve as a testament to our resilience, a celebration of our collective spirit, and a source of inspiration for the challenges that lie ahead.

With warm regards, Ms. Terri Beadle Instructor in the Department of Languages and Literature

Editor Ms. Terri Beadle

Faculty Editorial Committee Dr. Marlene Allen Mr. Edward Carlstedt Ms. Mary T Donnenworth

Contributing Student Editors Noura Alkarbi Aaesha Alshehhi Afreen Haneef Dimah Malkawi Nawal Mubarak

Layout Designers Noura Alkarbi Aaesha Alshehhi Afreen Haneef

Magazine Cover Concept by Aaesha Zaid Alshehhi

Designed by Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Table of Contents Author

Title

Page

Sara Almazrouei

The World Changes During & After the Pandemic

01

Athra Alzahmi

COVID-19 Pandemic Experience

03

Ayesha Alafeefi

Life During & Beyond the Pandemic

05

Fatima Boush

Vulnerability & Strength

07

Rahaf Nadhrah

The COVID-19 Pandemic & the Black Dog

09

Maitha Alqaydi

I Matured Because of the Epidemic

11

Artwork & Poetry Gallery (1)

13

Alanoud Alneyadi

Grappling with the Grueling Pandemic

21

Reem Alqhtani

Get the School Out of My House

24

Fahmidha Imthiyas

Covid, Far From Home

26

Hessa Alahbabi

Corona or Us?

28

Tamadher Alqassabi

COVID-19: A Blessing in Disguise?

30

Winners of Short Story Competition

33

Aisha Saeed

Is This Ending or Is It Our Life Now? Will We Survive?

35

Azhar Abdulla

COVID-19 and How It Impacted My Life

39

Sherwet Khouga

Giving Up Is Not An Option

41

Aljazeeya Almansoori

Life During & Beyond the Pandemic

44

Elnada Moustafa

Make the Good out of the Bad

47

Fatima Alzaabi

From Depression to Life

50

Artwork & Poetry Gallery (2)

52

Arwa Alseyabi

Bitterness of Death Twice

61

Hind Almutaiwei

My Immortal Sunflower

65

Alia Alnuaimi

Life During the Pandemic

67

Mera Almansoori

COVID-19: A Blessing for Some but an Affliction for Others

69

Israa Fayad

The Lost Hero

71

Sara Alshebli

The Pandemic

73

Author

Title

Page

Artwork & Poetry Gallery (3)

75

Shaima Almekhlafi

Going Through Darkness to Become Insightful

81

Azhar Abdulla

Resurgence

83

Wadeema Shamsan

The Evaporate of Talents

85

Hamda Alshehhi

Work in Progress

87

Mariam Aljasmi

The Pandemic Influence on Myself

89

Nawal Mubarak

Being Grateful

91

Artwork & Poetry Gallery (4)

92

Halima Almaqbali

New Reality

105

Shaima Almekhlafi

Fruiting Fruits Starts from the Roots

107

Arwa Alseyabi

Taste of the Death: Complex Bereavement Disorder

109

Ayesha AlMarri

Voluntary Acceptance of Depressive Reality as a Way to Survive

111

Maya Alrimawi

Life During & Beyond the Pandemic

114

Reem Alahbabi

Doubt & Self-acceptance

116

Hamad Alblooshi

The Effect of Insufficient Sleep on Male Students at UAEU

117

Alia Zino

How Far Can We Sympathise with Villains?

129

Maryam Alsabri

Things You Didn’t Know About Forensic Science

131

Nouf Alhassani

A Translation of "‫"من أنتم لوال البسطاء‬

133

Fatima Aldarmaki Afra , Aisha , & Nada Latifa Mohammed

A Translation of "‫"العشاء األخير‬

134

The German Lesson

137

Critique Aemilia Lanyer

139

Artwork & Poetry Gallery (5)

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The World Changes During & After the Pandemic Written by SARA SAEED ALMAZROUEI

The world has witnessed huge changes since the pandemic walked in on us. It was something new that never planned for treats to heal, preventions to take or laws to regulate. Even though the developments in pharmaceutical industry however, The pandemic spread due the urbanization, globalization, increased travel and trade and improper use of antibiotics. The pandemic changes how we communicate and gathered with friends and family, how we educate, how we work, the economy, the medicine and mental and psychical health. In the beginning of the pandemic the people was dying until the pandemic was discovered. We had attest for the first time the world collaboration and cooperation in distribution new information and selling injections. This is the first time we experience the same thing globally like taking the same injections, learning the same way and living the similar lifestyle.

As it mentioned before the pandemic changes the way we communicate and gathered with the ones we love. But how? The celebrations we used to do before the pandemic for example the weddings. We used to invite 100-150 people to celebrate in a huge hall but during the pandemic it involves the family members only which u can invite 15 maximum or you will got a warning and fine. But the benefit of that the weddings costs was much lower than before pandemic.

Because of doing it in home instead in a hall and inviting few people. And that has result in increasing in the amount of marriages.. The “Eid” customs and traditions were visiting the relatives after the “Eid” prayer which this custom was gone during the pandemic. Unfortunately after the pandemic people used to stay at their homes. The visits has decreased clearly. In order to that the mental health was affected. A great number reported psychological symptoms of depression, anxiety and warning signs of suicidal thoughts.

Furthermore, economic is negatively affected by the pandemic. It resulted in declined tax and increased expenditure. In order to curb the pandemic the efforts were preparing health facilities, tracing contacts, isolating infectious cases, providing health facilities and arrangement of consumables and imposing quarantine. At once there were shortage of workers because of the illness, fear-inducted behavior and rise in mortality. Also closed down of work places, closed land border and restricted trade and travel can be problems and affect the economic slowdown.

Another impact is the education, the education turned to be long-distance after finding out how serious was COVID-19 and it’s fast spreading. According to many studies the grades tend to be lower than it was before the pandemic. Because understanding was a little bit difficult of the screw. Not to mention that absence, indifference and lack of attention from some students and parents. Also some parents work was a problem in the duration of the pandemic as they can not help and watch their child. But after pandemic the long-distance education showed that it can be useful in some works and situations. Expatriate students were not able to travel to their countries for years and meet their families because of the pandemic which was a reason also for the rising of the mental health issues which tend to hit the younger people more.

Also the healthcare was impact significantly. During the pandemic it needed to undergo for huge changes like postponement of elective surgeries and non-urgent medical care and acceptance of telehealth to achieve pandemic preparedness. Telephonic consultation and messenger services start to be used to keep communication with patients.

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As some patient had difficulty reaching the hospitals, some patient rather to postpone their follow-ups considering the circumstances and outpatients hospital activities were limited to urgent cases.

Another impact is the lifestyle and psychical and mental health problems. The curfew and online work or study has led to gain weight, laziness, depression, stress, loneliness and anxiety. The pandemic accustom us doing a lot unloved habits in order to erase the boredom. Sitting, eating, playing video games and sleeping helped to gain weight. But also it made families doing indoor activates more with each other and make a strong bond. Depression, anxiety and loneliness has increased and it seems that it hitting the younger people from ages 18 to 34. Stress over all average were increased 33%, Anxiety 30%, depression 24% and loneliness 24%. In order to help people experiencing theses thing UAB (internationally renowned, public doctoral research university and academic health center) created “B Well” App. The app help student or workers focuses in good habits in sleeping, routine, resiliency and movement. After the pandemic people tend to be more isolated. Some habits has not changed yet. Some people still wearing face masks even that it is allowed now.

To conclude, Even though the pandemic has gone but the life has not returned where it has stopped. There were positive and negative outcomes. The pandemic showed that the human in order to survive the will create invent many solutions. And they will cooperate and be one hand as I saw. The doctor shifts were increased in order to help patients. The scientist create and the governments bought and sold from each other. To continue working and educating programmers and computer experts create Platforms to serve their purpose. Some of these invention will continue serve after the pandemic which will be upgraded and develop to fit the need like the long-distance education and services, healthcare equipment and Wellness apps.

And this is a song that describe me own view of the pandemic. It’s called “Corona virus” by Ghen Co Vy and this is some lyrics: Recently we’ve been hit by a virus and it’s name is Corona What does it do? makes it hard to breath right now there is no vaccine Don’t matter asian, black, or white The Corona is colorblind Together we can win the fight fight against the Corona Corona stay ready today and Tomorrow we'll be okay It is match my view that the world has cooperate together against this pandemic like people support each other and doctors help patients.

References Jim Soland, Karyn Lewis, and Emily Morton, Megan Kuhfeld, and Brown Center Chalkboard. “The Pandemic Has Had Devastating Impacts on Learning. What Will It Take to Help Students Catch Up?” Brookings, 3 Mar. 2022.

Shang, Yunfeng, et al. “Effects of Pandemic Outbreak on Economies: Evidence From Business History Context.” Frontiers, 2001.

How The COVID-19 Pandemic Changed Society.” UAB News, 14 Mar. 2022.

“How The Pandemic Has Changed Our Lives.” Cleveland Clinic, 25 Sept. 2020.

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COVID-19 Pandemic Experience Written by ATHRA ALZAHMI

In order to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 disease, the COVID-19 crisis hastened the quick shift to a new worldview in which daily activities are forcefully transferred, if feasible, into electronic systems. These include the transition of the business community to a work-from-home arrangements, the movement of the academic sector to a distant learning program, and the utilization of internet devices to, at the absolute minimum, keep in contact with individuals.

Individuals must use protective clothing and equipment, including such face masks and protective clothing, anytime they go outside in order to avoid contracting the disease. As a result, people become anonymous beings concealed behind composite materials and attached to them with three-ply polymers using flexible bands.

For the goal of touch tracking, people are forced all around to scanning their Bar code or, at the absolute least, enter their sensitive information on a logbook. Those are just a handful of the numerous costs and adjustments that the extraordinary COVID-19 epidemic compelled humankind to undergo. I was one of those who, as a simple undergraduate, had to bear the weight of the adjustments that this period in history of mankind demanded. Due to regulations put in place either by government for the purpose of the serious health issue that the country was experiencing in the early stages of the shutdown, I was completely cut off from the outside world.

I was obligated to spend the months of March through at least September of the current year at house without interruption. Being confined to my home was a really challenging situation for myself because of this. Before I turned COVID-19, I was frequently away from my home for academic work, connections, and other pursuits. I myself am individual who loiters at stores, cafes, and, at the lowest thing, college all the time with closer peers and classmates. As a result, I had a really challenging time getting by right from the beginning of the quarantined period. I Truly dislike being confined to my bedroom. I was so lonely and uncomfortable that I was stuck in the bed's four walls, unsure about what to do. I used to watch odd movies, YouTube, and social networking sites to help me get through that period. I clean my house, snack, use my technology, do my literature, and then I go to bed. Everything was incredibly dull and boring, yet I was forced to make this decision because of the situation. We had to stay home during that time or otherwise there would be a chance that we get infected by the virus. I've learned from that encounter that people are social creatures after all.

I've come to realize how crucial social connection is to maintaining people's mental health.

Human growth and maturation depend heavily on socializing. The spontaneous discussion with strangers, the straightforward grin from a colleague, the warm "how are you?" from such a person's special person were elements which individuals seek for mental health, even though relatives also supply such encounters. People affirm their presence and importance to the group in those deep connections.

People get to understand their own importance in this universe through certain social encounters. Unfortunately, these bodily encounters are now uncommon. According to the new global order, communication takes place both online and through screens while individual’s chat.

Although it is still feasible to communicate with others through the various internet platforms, this does not change the reality that becoming in someone else's presence is a very

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special communal experience. In addition, I've discovered that humans are motivated by activity.

Even before lockdown, I had always yearned for a time when I didn't have a lot on my mind—no school assignments, a lot of housework, or any other pointless jobs. I've always yearned for that time when I could simply savor the blissful quiet without having to worry about anything.

However, after having such a time even during lockdown, I have come to the realization that it was really not feasible for a person to live a life of inactivity like a plant.

I've discovered that although one can go for a whole 12 hours without getting up or engaging in anything, then the brain starts to want for regular exercise, a job, or social connection. My brain has already been hankering for things to complete during the protracted confinement, whether they are of an intellectual and other kind. Simply put, I've discovered that people are essentially unsettled beings. I also discovered that spending time alone in a place is bad for one's psychological health. I felt lonely or left behind during the first few weeks of the quarantined. I was abruptly cut off from the strong ties that come from such in-person social engagements. I've been missing my friends' companionship, interacting with new people, having supper with your colleagues, and engaging in my usual activities outdoors.

The viral crisis forcefully did remove all of those activities that we had ostensibly engaging in as well as many more chances for connecting. I believed that the aforementioned illness had robbed me of a significant portion of my alleged thoughts and feelings. I now understand that changing represents the only constant in this life. Like the emotions I have of my colleagues as well as other individuals, this is something we are witnessing is fading. The pandemic as a crisis, has been affecting me so much and in a negative way, but I have also had time during it to access to other hobbies that I had no idea I will be able to do before the pandemic, like I was reading more and I really recognized how hard it is for a human being to live alone and without his beloved ones.

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Life During & Beyond the Pandemic Written by AYESHA MOHAMMED ALAFEEFI

Illustration by Bailey Mariner 'Life after covid' Verywellmind.com

Three years ago, we were told that we were getting two weeks off from school because of a new virus that has been discovered. Little did we know that this new virus would change everyone’s lives.

“COVID-19” is what they called it. The first case was said to be in the city of Wuhan in China (Spiteri et al., 2020). At first, it was just a silly virus, like a cold. They said it’ll be under control.

But things began to take a wrong turn. People began comparing it to the Plague. After a few months, the whole world was affected. Everyone was under lockdown. Urged to stay indoors, only leaving in case of emergencies. COVID-19 affected families; in ways, no one can comprehend except those who dealt with it. People were dying and suffering. All across the globe.

It started with online schooling. It was fun at first. Being home all the time. But then it started getting difficult, as any sane person would imagine. Being alone all the time, not being able to hang out with friends, not seeing family, missing birthdays, and spending Ramadan and Eid alone. People started forgetting how to communicate, how to hold a simple conversation, how can they not? What are you supposed to do when you’re trapped between four walls for months?

It devastated many. Physical and emotional isolation is difficult. Especially on developing

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children and teenagers. They need life experience, which usually happened in school, but the once teenagers during the pandemic are now adults with no idea how to handle reality. And the developing kids are now teenagers that don’t know how to make friends because they never got the chance to learn how to.

I’m not going to sit here and write about all the sad, depressing things that occurred, because good things happened too. Some people made new friends online that now play a big part in their life. Huge artists like Taylor Swift put out new music that brought people joy and helped them build a new door that they can open and go into to escape reality whenever they please. New businesses opened up that helped people get by. New hobbies and interests were discovered.

After a year, a vaccine was created. Not many people were very keen on taking it. Some had crazy theories about it but got it anyway. Schools started opening their doors again. People were going back to work. But humanity has changed. And can you blame us? Being locked up in our homes for a year wasn’t really on our cards as human beings. We had to wear masks everywhere we went. It isn’t really ideal when you think you see someone you know at the mall, going up to them then turns out it wasn’t really them, quite embarrassing if I’m being honest.

Life slowly but surely started going back to normal, but not without emotionally scarring people.

This pandemic definitely took a toll on people. Psychologists reported seeing more patients every day since 2020, especially young adults regarding anxiety (American Psychological Association, 2021).

COVID-19 has changed everything forever. Who am I to judge if it was for better or for worse? All I know is that it’s never going to be the same as before. It will take a while to adjust to this postCOVID life. But we’ll get there soon. We are merely the beginning of an end.

References Spiteri, G., Fielding, J., Diercke, M., Campese, C., Enouf, V., Gaymard, A., Bella, A., Sognamiglio, P., Sierra Moros, M. J., Riutort, A. N., Demina, Y. V., Mahieu, R., Broas, M., Bengnér, M., Buda, S., Schilling, J., Filleul, L., Lepoutre, A., Saura, C., Mailles, A., … Ciancio, B. C. (2020). First cases of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) in the WHO European Region, 24 January to 21 February 2020. Euro surveillance : bulletin Europeen sur les maladies transmissibles = European communicable disease bulletin, 25(9), 2000178. https://doi.org/10.2807/15607917.ES.2020.25.9.2000178 American Psychological Association. (2021, October 19). Demand for mental health treatment continues to increase, say psychologists [Press release]. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2021/10/mental-health-treatment-demand

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Vulnerability & Strength Written by FATIMA MUSA BOUSH

When the global Covid-19 pandemic swept the world off its feet and took everyone by surprise, not a single person could have predicted the impact it would have left on people’s lives. For some, experiences of loss, helplessness and isolation were inevitable.

Many have tragically lost their lives to a brutal battle, leaving family members and close friends with nothing else but the daunting memories of sorrow and loss. Others have had to go on with living their lives while navigating the everchanging restrictions; making accommodations to their everyday routines as they go. Whatever the case, the pandemic has left an undeniable mark on people’s lives that could never be erased.

having to self-quarantine, working from home arrangements, and many more. As a selfproclaimed introvert, we are often mislabeled as reserved and shy individuals who do not enjoy social interaction. On the contrary, introverts do enjoy socializing on their own terms. Introversion can look different depending on where a person falls on the introversion spectrum, and different people will often respond differently tolerances to external prompts; some with open arms while others will be drawn away by overwhelm.

Having the additional challenge of navigating life and social circles through a global pandemic, I found certain experiences mostly refreshing and energizing; the world finally calmed down to a pace that was fathomable to me. I enjoyed sharing stories about my culinary journey through social media, and stayed regularly in touch with those closest to me without the burden of having to fulfil societal obligations that require a certain form of presentation of ones self. The journey has not been predictable nor easy, however it leaves us with many lessons learned.

When the news first hit that there has been a case of SARS-CoV-1 infection detected in the country, it felt like a surreal experience except it was slowly morphing into reality. The certainty of a global pandemic was no longer some vaguely distant breaking news story happening halfway across the globe.

Governments and institutions were preparing to tackle this unfamiliar intruder. People quickly turned to local news for latest updates and secretly hoped for comforting statements that this will soon be over. But two years later, face masks and monthly nose-swabs were still mandatory. At a time where physical contact was restricted and “flattening the curve” was of national and global priority, much like millions around the world, more people were turning to social media platforms to compensate for the lack of true physical contact.

I found myself naturally gravitating more towards seeking comfort and distraction through social media. For many others, like myself, this was one of very few outlets through which socialization was still possible given the mandatory preventative measures globally. Many have turned to their digital devices wither to connect with those they have lost touch with in the physical world. Despite the huge sense of overwhelm at outset, new possibilities and alternative ways to connect via virtual meeting rooms, video calls and scheduled e-calls became the new norm.

Others may have used it to turn to a completely different venture. It was truly exciting to witness shifting trends on digital

As I reflect on my own personal experience, I find myself reminiscing on a time with many first-time experiences. Among those are my very experiences with travel restrictions, the peculiarity of nose swabs, testing positive and

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media use and consumption firsthand.

resilience, and that there are hidden gems and lessons learned behind every hardship. I am a firm believer that life only throws at us situations that may seem difficult at first, but leave us all with at least a lesson learned, and an abundance of wisdom. After all, as Sigmund Freud, the ‘father’ of psychology and founder of psychoanalysis has famously said “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.

However, it has been an eye-opening experience to learn that other people responded differently to the same circumstances. As an aspiring clinical psychologist, I am always curious to learn about the different ways people learn to adapt with an everchanging outside world.

Unfortunately, because everyone was living in a fast-changing situation where nothing was predictable, there were expressions of helplessness, uncertainty and of dread. The psychological effects faced particularly by students resembled symptoms of anxiety and depression; likely the results of a breakdown in social contact (Drissi et al., 2020).

Suddenly, people felt isolated against their will, and with no promise of salvation in the near future at the midst of its peak, many were being faced with challenging situations.

Families could no longer gather and enjoy extravagant meals as they once did, and friends no longer shared an intimate embrace out of fear and precaution.

References Cheikh Ismail, L., Mohamad, M. N., Bataineh, M. A. F., Ajab, A., Al-Marzouqi, A. M., Jarrar, A. H., Abu Jamous, D.O., Ali, H.I., Al Sabbah, H., Hasan, H., Stojanovska, L., Hashim, M., Obaid, R. R. S., Saleh, S. T., Osaili, T. M., & Al Dhaheri, A. S. (2021). Impact of the coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19) lockdown on mental health and well-being in the United Arab Emirates. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12, 633230.

Drissi, N., Alhmoudi, A., Al Nuaimi, H., Alkhyeli, M., Alsalami, S., & Ouhbi, S. (2020).

Investigating the impact of COVID-19 lockdown on the psychological health of university students and their attitudes toward mobile mental health solutions: Two-part questionnaire study. JMIR formative research, 4(10), e19876.

From a psychologist’s perspective, it was clear as day that the way we would experience the world was shifting. Many articles conveyed the negative impact of the pandemic on individuals’ mental health such as elevated stress and negative affect (Cheikh Ismail et al., 2021). For those who had been entrapped with their own thoughts amplifying the effects of loneliness, negative emotionality was only exasperated. Those who had previously struggled to separate work and play now found occupational demands intruding into their personal lives and homes causing even more distress. By contrast, those who had strong support from family and pears were luckiest; they could share their concerns and worries and receive the reassurance that they were not alone, and that somebody had their back. Indeed, having a strong support system Finally, as we think back to a time were nothing was ordinary nor predictable, we must reflect on the valuable lessons that must be learned. That there is no true replacement for genuine connection, that having a strong support system is truly the best form of

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The Covid-19 Pandemic & the Black Dog Written by RAHAF YASIR NADHRAH

March 8th 2020 was the last day of normal life as the entire world knew it. I woke up that day to the government’s announcement of a two-week temporary lockdown of the entire country as the Covid-19 pandemic was taking over the world, initially I thought great! I finally get to relax for a bit as I was a senior in college. I was having the time of my life in these two weeks, I thought nothing of it, but the days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and we were still stuck at home, no one allowed to step on the street, the days got longer and time moved slower and my motivation was rapidly decreasing.

After the first 2 months of lockdown passed, it felt like the air had weight to it, and it definitely weighed more than I could carry. No one knew what to expect, the world was afraid and manically trying to figure what to do, a new unknown virous had taken over, people around the world were getting sick fast, and we all would sit and watch the case numbers and death rates rise every day, rose-coloured glasses shattered, and perspectives changed forever.

I lived with both my parents and all my siblings at that time, just turned 21 years old, and life was better than ever, I felt on top of the world at the beginning of 2020. I was finishing college, spending quality time with friends and family, working on my health, and I just signed a business contract, what could go wrong? By June 2020, everything changed.

My university workload was destroying my mental and physical health, as the professors adjusted to online teaching, it felt as though they were taking out their frustrations on us, the students.

The assignments never ended and the exams happened no matter if it was midnight or 8 AM, it felt like trying to stand in the middle of a hurricane. This was my graduation year, all I thought about pre-Covid was getting on stage in my graduation gown and waving to my family while getting my bachelor’s degree after a tough 4-year journey, I couldn’t wait to feel the accomplishment and see the pride in my parents’ eyes, but graduation was cancelled, that news completely dimmed my motivation for college, I graduated on a random Tuesday afternoon, in my bedroom, by myself.

As the pressure from the new responsibilities, and having to adjust to this new world increased, the energy in my family’s house disappeared, we felt like zombies, being isolated from our friends and own personal worlds and being locked with each other for a long time made us bicker all the time, this period of time brought up all the bottled up issues that never came to the surface, the atmosphere was toxic, everyone in our house was suffering in their own way and we would take it out on each other. I started to neglect any and all forms of self-care, my hair was a mess, my clothes were baggy and dirty, my under eyes were getting deeper and darker, I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror, the energy I always had wasn’t there no matter how hard I looked for it, most of my thoughts were negative, I stopped reaching out to friends, and I would sleep over 12 hours a day, sometime I would sleep for a straight 24 hours, the black dog got me.

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I felt hollow, as if I were older than my years, all activities that used to make me happy abruptly stopped, my appetite was frequently ruined by the black dog, he ate away at my memory and concentration. The black dog had the potential to irritate me and make me difficult to be around, he revealed in waking me up with very repetitious and negative thoughts, he also loved to remind me how tired I would be the next day.

Having a black dog in your life specially during a pandemic isn't so much about feeling down, sad, or gloomy as it is about being completely empty of emotion, energy, and motivation. My depression got so bad I couldn’t function at all, it took all of my power to get out of bed to eat a single meal a day or to shower every other day, I felt hopeless.

Dealing with depression during a pandemic was especially worse in my opinion, it enabled me to fall deeper into a dark hole, because of the lockdown there was nothing to do but stay in the house and listen to my negative thoughts like they were facts, the entire world was negative and felt defeated, no one had energy to even console one another because nothing was guaranteed, I would often catch myself thinking that this would never end, I couldn’t find the light at the end of the tunnel.

The pandemic has changed me forever, it made me discover some parts of myself that I wouldn’t have otherwise, it pushed me to get help for my mental health before it escalated to getting worse, I learned how to tame the black dog, but I also had to go through one of the toughest battels with my depression during that time. For now, I am very hopeful for a better grasp on noticing my mental health issues and knowing when to reach out for help ,and I believe that I have better understanding of myself and that I have better tools to handle tough situations.

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I Matured Because of the Epidemic Written by MAITHA HUMAID ALQAYDI

My story began with the beginning of this epidemic in the year 2020. I was not aware of the extent of the danger or the size of the change that would happen in our next life just because of a fever, a cold, a cough, or even a loss of one of the senses. The beginning of the epidemic was very normal, like any disease in this world, until that day came when wearing a muzzle, going out of the house, and also not coming into contact with others became something we were forced to do, that is, it was not our will, and whoever opposes these precautionary measures will be punished by law. We were not used to this situation, and I was very reckless at that time until the epidemic struck me in the middle of the year 2020, and I was the only one who was carrying the disease. But then I learned a lot from judgment during that period and a lot of habits and things that I used to do changed in me.

The Beginning Of The Epidemic The beginning of the epidemic was a normal beginning like the diseases that spread before those days, until that day came when everyone was shocked by the spread of a deadly epidemic from China. Calls poured in on psychology, as they began to hallucinate that they would die from this epidemic and that they were unable to sleep due to overthinking. The beginning was not promising, and the state imposed strict financial fines for anyone who violated the rules of security and safety. Most countries stopped receiving tourists, so their profits fell.

As a psychiatrist, I can understand why they did that. They did it for fear of increasing deaths and for fear of not being able to limit the spread of the epidemic, but this was only the beginning.

What happened to me?

I was living the days of indiscretion to the fullest, even though I reached the age of twenty, but I could not become sane. And one day the news started pouring in on us to stay at home and not try to mix with people. I did not take the warning seriously and used to go out to my friends' gatherings and go to malls and restaurants. Until the day came that made me feel that I only wanted wellness, and I wanted to go back in time and not mix with my brother who came back from work. Yes, readers, I shook hands with my brother, and then I woke up the next day, exhausted, and

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my body temperature was not less than 40 Degree . I felt my soul leaving my body, I couldn't sleep, eat or even take a shower. I was lying on the bed and I could hear my bones crackling from the fever. So I decided to go to the hospital and not underestimate this disease. I lost about 12 kilograms, and I no longer play or go anywhere except for necessity. I am studying remotely and ordering my purchases from websites. I became afraid to say hello to my family, and I have not worn a mask since that day.

I have become sensitive I have become more emotional and the painful word annoys me more than before. This epidemic has changed me from a cheerful girl who does not get upset or take her thoughts into a sensitive girl who is hurt and hurt by strong words.

What contributions have I made as a clinical psychologist?

As a psychologist I have learned a lot about how to calm others down in such difficult situations. I knew that there were people suffering like me or more than me, people with chronic mental illnesses such as: hallucinations, fear of the future, fear of diseases, also fear of doctors and the world, so I wanted to help them to step or I can say that they can deal even a little with the epidemic Helping people in distress so they feel calm and supported to better deal with their challenges involves paying attention to feedback, active listening and, if necessary, practical assistance, such as problem-solving, assistance in accessing basic needs or referencing options. other to help.

What Has Changed In Me ?

First of all, a lot has changed in me from a physical point of view, but from a psychological point of view, I have a lot of fears towards society and those who live around me, but I will mention four things: Fear of shaking hands This fear has become in me since I shook hands with my brother and took the disease from him.

Fear of removing the mask Removing the mask has become something that causes me terror and shivering when thinking about it, as it covers half of my tired face, which when I wear the mask, no one recognizes it. Because of this fear, I only had three friends who I trusted at the university.

And I add to that that when I have an explanation, I stick to it strongly, even if the doctor wants me to remove it, because I feel that it is an integral part of my daily dress.

Associations around the world are creating psychology locators, hotlines, and even pro bono psychotherapy sessions for the public.

The Korean Psychological Association (KPA), for example, has installed three dedicated telephone lines for a pro bono teletherapy service and has enlisted the help of more than 350 volunteer psychologists. So far, they have provided almost 900 sessions, most focused on anxiety, conflicts with family members and coworkers, unemployment and economic hardship, and emotional instability.

Fear of mixing with others This fear dates back to the first days of this epidemic, when we had to not visit anyone and not go to malls or other places unless absolutely necessary. This implanted in me the fear of mixing with people or confronting them, and the love of isolation. Even these days, I feel that sitting far from people relaxes me more, and after the epidemic has decreased significantly, I have the love of withdrawing and concealing myself.

References https://www.apa.org/topics/Covid-19/worldpsychologists. www.apa.org/topics/Covid19/world-psychologists.

Saladino, Valeria, et al. “The Psychological and Social Impact of Covid-19: New Perspectives of Well-Being.” Frontiers, 1 Jan. 2001.

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Even monkeys fall from trees

Nobody’s perfect, but keep trying anyway Artwork Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Artwork Credit Aaesha Alshehhi

POEM TITLE

Misty Road As I walk through the mist of this daring hour I took this path for its stark emptiness, Pretty as it is, will it hold my soul and scour?

The very foul my bosom holds, that I wish not to confess.

And as I walk, I stumble upon a queer looking Iris, A signal of hope? I thought not for its dark nature, To cling to false hope would only lead to high risk, I’ve already suffered enough through my ventures, And so, I direct my footing to keep walking these woods, Will nature’s forgiving magic heal my ever-broken heart?

Will it grab my soul from down the abyss and set it afoot?

I should know better; decayed spirits are often off the chart, And as I carry on walking this land; hoping to see if angels care to spark Life into this ungodly quintessence, I should have known better; for all is now turning dark.

Written by Ali Abdul Aziz Al-Blooshi

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Painting Credit Thomas Attwood (1970) 'Bed of the Waimakariri River'

POEM TITLE

Gone Too Soon The sweetest of pies have gone bitter, And all the roads now seem to wither.

For never this world has seen such grace, The bright light that shone on your face!

Ever in the coldest winters I sensed your warmth, And in the loneliest summers you held me close.

At last, the angels heed the Divine’s call, A benevolent soul finally comes home, And I found no light to behold, For even the brightest stars grew dim.

I only wait for the day, We would finally meet at Heaven’s gates, Sing our song and bask in our tales.

For that is our triumph, we longer have to wait.

Written by Ali Abdul Aziz Al-Blooshi

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Painting Credit David Cox Junior (1836) 'The Path By The Lake/ Ben Voirlich'

Artwork Credit Alia Rashed Alketbi

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Grappling with the Grueling Pandemic Written by ALANOUD ALNEYADI

As a student aiming to be a psychologist, I have uniquely experienced the pandemic. It has been a time of great stress and anxiety but also a time of growth and learning. I have had to adapt to a new way of life, so I have learned much about myself. It has been a time of great stress and anxiety for many people, and I have seen firsthand how people cope with these feelings (Scarpelli et al., 2022). I have also had the opportunity to see how other people respond to the same scenario in various ways. I have come to learn about the different ways in which people respond to crises and how they cope with stress.

I was stressed out during the pandemic. It was tough to get work done with everything that was going on. I always believed I had to be flawless; it was just too much pressure. But I'm glad I got through it and am stronger for it. It was a long pandemic, and I felt pretty stressed.

The constant news cycles about the virus, the social distancing, and the uncertainty of the future can be overwhelming. There seemed no end in sight; I was trying to survive. I have had the feeling of stress more lately. I was worried about the future and what was going to happen. I was also concerned about my family and friends.

I could never have imagined how Covid-19 would change my life and the lives of those around me. I have never been affected by anything like this pandemic. I have seen things like it in movies, yet I never anticipated it happening to me. I am used to going out and being able to do something, but now I have to stay home all the time. The pandemic has been a harrowing experience for everyone. I have had to deal with the death of several close relatives. As the pandemic continued, I worried about the future and what it held for my loved ones and me.

Before the pandemic, I was a very active person. I was constantly out and about, whether going to the gym or with friends. I never stopped thinking about how much I took my health for granted. When the pandemic hit, it was a wake-up call for me. I have become more independent and responsible. I have also learned to be more patient and understanding.

It has changed how I view the world and adapt to a new way of living. My learning has been significantly impacted by the pandemic as well. I have had to learn to study and do schoolwork from home, which has been a challenge. It has forced me to think about things differently and to adapt to new situations. I've had to become more independent and self-sufficient. As a student, the pandemic has changed the way I learn.

I have always been a bit of an anxious person.

But when the pandemic started, my anxiety got a lot worse. It is hard to explain, but I felt the world was closing on me. I was constantly on edge, and my heart raced all the time. I have trouble falling asleep, and when I do, I have nightmares. I was constantly worrying about getting sick or my family and friends. I was also worried about my studies and what would happen to my education. I was always concerned about getting ill and avoided going out in public. Therefore, trying to cope by staying busy and spending time with my family.

The world has changed significantly since the COVID-19 pandemic first broke out. The way we converse with one another has maybe changed the most. It has become challenging for us to physically meet up with friends and family due to social distancing practices. We have got to rely on technology to communicate instead. The COVID-19 pandemic has unquestionably altered the globe, unlike

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been put under an unprecedented pandemic, and clinical psychologists have been working relentlessly to help people cope with the stress and worry of these uncertain times. Clinical psychologists have also been researching to understand the psychological impact of the pandemic better and to develop effective interventions to address the needs of those affected (Gruber et al., 2021).

anything anybody could have predicted.

Countless individuals have died from the virus, and thousands more have had long-lasting physical and mental health repercussions. The epidemic has had a heavy economic toll in addition to the human cost, with businesses closing and unemployment reaching historic highs (Wang, 2020). As the world begins to struggle with the long-term consequences of the pandemic, it is clear that the impact will be felt for many years to come.

Illustration by Robert Neubecker 'Nightmare' TheIspot.com

In many respects, the COVID-19 pandemic has been a transformative experience. It has compelled us to reconsider our priorities and come up with fresh approaches to tasks we previously took for granted. Many individuals have been inspired to their fullest potential due to it, and we have united to support one another in ways we never imagined. Our need to take care of our bodies and brains was brought home to us by the pandemic. Everyone has been forced to acknowledge the vulnerability of their daily existence due to the COVID-19 pandemic's turmoil. The pandemic has influenced every facet of life, from employment to social interactions. The pandemic has also brought attention to the value of readiness and perseverance under pressure.

This image represents my sleeping experiences during the pandemic. I have not been sleeping well lately. Every time I try to drift off, my mind races, and I find myself dwelling on all the things happening in the world. The pandemic has put me under a lot of stress and anxiety. I have been experiencing a lot of nightmares lately about the virus.

Recently, I had a nightmare about the virus that was so vivid and real that it woke me up from sleep. I have this dream where I'm at school, and a pandemic hit. I was in a hospital room and saw the virus attacking my body.

Such kinds of nightmares are reflective of what we are thinking about during the day. So, it is unsurprising that one would have nightmares about the pandemic. Dreams can help our brains absorb what is going on around us. The pandemic was a stressful event and can trigger nightmares.

As a new clinical psychologist, I am eager to share my unique perspective and contribute to the field in a meaningful way. I have worked hard to develop my skills and abilities, and I believe I have much to offer. I have seen firsthand how mental illness can impact every aspect of a person's life, from relationships to work and school performance. Mental illness is often misunderstood and stigmatized, making it difficult for people to seek help (Kutsar & Kurvet-Käosaar, 2021). I feel it is my obligation to assist my clients in understanding their mental illnesses and advocate for the resources and care they require to heal. One of my most valuable qualities is my ability to connect with clients. I am also very enthusiastic about mental health and dedicated to assisting needy people.

Clinical psychologists have been assisting in fighting COVID-19. People's mental health has

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References Gruber, J., Prinstein, M. J., Clark, L. A., Rottenberg, J., Abramowitz, J. S., Albano, A. M., ... & Weinstock, L. M. (2021). Mental health and clinical psychological science in the time of COVID19: Challenges, opportunities, and a call to action. American Psychologist, 76(3), 409.

Kutsar, D., & Kurvet-Käosaar, L. (2021). The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on families: Young people's experiences in Estonia. Frontiers in Sociology, 6.

Scarpelli, S., Nadorff, M. R., Bjorvatn, B., Chung, F., Dauvilliers, Y., Espie, C. A., Inoue, Y., Matsui, K., Merikanto, I., Morin, C. M., Penzel, T., Sieminski, M., Fang, H., Macêdo, T., Mota-Rolim, S. A., Leger, D., Plazzi, G., Chan, N. Y., Partinen, M., … De Gennaro, L. (2022). Nightmares in people with Covid-19: Did coronavirus infect our dreams? Nature and Science of Sleep, Volume 14, 93– 108.

Wang, C. (2020). To cope with a new coronavirus pandemic: How life may be changed forever.

Chinese Journal of International Law, 19(2), 221–228.

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Get the School Out of My House Written by REEM ALQHTANI

Poetry can sometimes convey to us a feeling that you cannot feel, and this is what happened to me during the Corona period. The feeling I used to miss the most is hope. The hope is that life will return as before and that it is only a temporary period. This poem always made me feel hopeful.

May 4. Four times per week, from 8 AM to 3 PM, I began attending lessons. I've never had to participate in or encounter a digital classroom. It was all unfamiliar and unusual to me, just like it was to the millions of students around the nation. We were forced to change from physically coming to school, interacting with our friends and students, participating in pleasurable school activities, and just being in a college environment to just seeing one another on a computer monitor in a matter of days. No one of us could have imagined it, everything occurred so suddenly and unexpectedly.

People made art, read books, danced on their favorites, People made cakes, played games, and people healed, People stayed inside the house, stayed in the battle-field,

My experience with distance learning wasn't great. I have trouble focusing and become easily sidetracked, particularly when it pertains to academics. Being present allowed me to focus intently on the lessons being taught in a classroom. But in our online sessions, I was unable to focus or pay close attention to my lecturers. I was prone to getting distracted and missed the presentation of important facts. My family consists of five members and we were all present during the quarantine at home. It's simple to picture how distracting my two loud, needy brothers running down the street made it for me to concentrate on schoolwork and fulfill my commitments. I had to work 35 hours a week in addition to attending school to take care of my family during the outbreak. My mother temporarily lost her job, and my father could only work from home. Due to the size of our family, my father's income was insufficient. I took it upon myself to do everything in my ability to help and assist our household: I worked as a cashier at a nearby supermarket for more than two months in total. I was fortunate enough to avoid catching the virus while working at the supermarket despite being around hundreds of people every day

Cars stayed in garages, planes stayed on ground, During the whole time, beauty is what earth again found, In the period of January of this year, the virus made its initial appearance on news and media channels. While many of us saw an increased risk of depression, for others of us, COVID-19 has caused or aggravated much more serious psychological distress. Several people have displayed psychological distress as well as symptoms of PTSD, worry, or hopelessness.

Personally speaking, on March 13th, my school was closed. The original schedule called for us to go on a two-week vacation and return on March 30. The President declared a national quarantine until April 30 owing to the virus's widespread distribution and the out nature of the crisis. Following that, schools were formally shuttered for the rest of the educational year. A new scheme was created, online courses were established, and distance learning was introduced. The School District's online and remote learning courses began on

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and being subjected to all the safety measures put in place to protect both customers and employees. Even though they don’t even reside in the same nation as me, my grandparents weren’t as fortunate. They contracted the infection and were left alone in a hospital waiting room for more than a month. That was the event when I got stressed and felt anxiety, which I handled soon.

new lessons to tackle hard situations and stay calm. Like all the other people, it has made me learn too. I learned how to appreciate every little thing around me. In this fast-changing world, we are so busy finishing deadlines and forgetting about our close ones. I learned to appreciate the ones who really care about me i.e. my family, and friends.

The epidemic is mostly under control, and the virus's progress has slowed. We currently experience the new normal. We no longer have the same perspectives we once did. We can no longer imagine major meetings or activities that call for many people to get together. We are aware of the value of social distance and the necessity of wearing masks wherever we go, in addition to virtual classrooms. Who knows when and if we'll ever be able to return to what we knew before, but that is the new normal right now. I've learned from this entire experience that humans have a tendency to take everything for granted and don't cherish what they have until it has been taken from them.

COVID-19 has changed the whole world, from the way we communicate to the economy of countries, everything has had its fair share as a result of the pandemic. On one hand, where so many died, stayed away from their loved ones, went through pain, and felt depressed. The others found themselves, at peace in staying home, and practiced healthy activities. On one side where no flights were allowed, countries stayed on their own without interconnections.

On the contrary, earth restored itself, researchers claimed that there are huge changes in ecosystems that are positive, pollution reduced, and the ozone recovered itself so much.

Psychology plays a major role in every kind of pandemic. In COVID-19, psychologists also handled the pandemic effectively through their efforts worldwide. They provided people with support and indications for ease and relaxation in the time of chaos. From a clinical psychologist worker's point of view, I played my role in reducing the negative impacts of a pandemic. Apart from social distancing, and staying inside, the main contribution was to keep people around me aware of the consequences in addition to spreading the precautionary measure. As everyone was also getting affected mentally and emotionally from all the stressful news, I kept informing everyone about the positive side of the pandemic and giving hope that it will soon go away. I did the new through social media, as well as people in reach.

As far as COVID-19 had affected us in so many hazardous ways, there are many new lessons that it has taught to everyone. People with no social life and ways to distract themselves have invested much in their own. Some have practiced self-care, whereas others learned

The picture taken is from a bus stop. The precautions that are graphically represented are the new normal to be seen everywhere due to the pandemic.

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Covid, Far From Home

Written by FAHMIDHA MOHAMED IMTHIYAS

When I originally learned about the coronavirus, I didn't give it much attention; I just gave it a quick two-minute contemplation before moving on with my day. I can still clearly recall how carelessly I treated the situation. I was away from my parents studying at a far-off location. Four hours separate me from the nearest relative. While I was in India, my immediate family was in the United Arab Emirates. At the university, things started to change a little bit. We were urged to keep our distance and wash our hands. There were several rumors regarding the virus's emergence, the funniest of which being that it was discovered in chicken and that, as a result, poultry was removed from our meal menu at the residence for students.

knew it was disintegrating into a strange place.

More importantly, I will have to live in a confusing situation in a world that is changing I disliked change and always sought solace in the known. I had to get used to my new temporary residence while wishing for the lifting of the travel ban every day. For a month, I hated the change. The anxiousness got worse and stronger every day. I was constantly hearing news of deaths. There was always someone ill. Someone was recovering. The four walls made the space feel like a prison, and the next day it got smaller and more crowded.

There wasn't much going on to divert attention from the situation. Consistent entertainment was nonexistent. We were just two adults watching television and pacing back and forth on our phones.

The principal turned up the intercom one particularly sunny afternoon and declared a national emergency holiday for all students, instructing us to go home right away. The university became chaotic, but more crucially, the student housing went ballistic. Without understanding what would actually happen to their life over the next two years, everyone was packed with the biggest smile on their faces, with dreams of running back home to their comfortable beds; a deserving break from the semester. I was oblivious regarding what this holiday's future held.

I always checked the flight ban first thing in the morning. One of the main causes of my anxiousness was this. I prayed all night that tomorrow would be the day, but I was disappointed to learn that it isn't. I realized that I should make the most of the situation after searching just for comfort for a month. In this circumstance, I was aware of my helplessness. I questioned whether there was a way to make the most of the circumstance in order to deal with my worry and my dread of oblivion. Not checking for flights was where it all began. I declined to examine the ban lift.

Instead, I learnt to make tea for my aunt. I learned a lot about life from her as we chatted about her life. She essentially showed me pictures associated with a certain story.

Something about the way a brown, curledcorner photo captured life in parts and brought laughter into our lives made me realize how precious life is and how easily we should not allow minor or major inconveniences like this one to steal it away.

I found my way to my aunt’s place. I made an attempt to find a flight home. My initial understanding of the severity of this virus came at that precise moment. Flying had been banned in my country. I had never stayed at my aunt's house for more than two nights. I was dejected. It is one thing that a virus was capable of putting people to their graves, but to be away from your loved ones at a critical time as such was something else. It simulated extremes of helplessness. The world as we

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I also developed a deep love for my ancestry.

From the numerous books and documentaries, I learned about our history. We played traditional games using parts that were centuries old. I began to be really proud of my heritage. I discovered more about my ethnicity and discovered that my native tongue is the oldest language still in use. I watched classic films. I listened to old songs. I spoke only in my own tongue. Back then, all of these little things seemed to matter more. It provided motivation to get up and carry on. One month quickly turned into five months. I flew home on the first available flight. I was grateful to be returning home as opposed to the hundreds of individuals who were stuck in a foreign place with no way to get home.

It can be devastating to experience the anxiety that comes with the sensation of abrupt, significant changes and the fear of not knowing what the future holds. We run the danger of developing diseases related to depression because of the loneliness that comes with isolation. Self-esteem and confidence are negatively impacted by the enforced mask requirement. While others were separated from loved ones, some of us were unable to leave abusive homes, causing trauma. Most of us felt hollow since we had no other means of maintaining a connection than technology Finally, every facet of the pandemic was an enormous change. It might be frightening to ignore change and adjust our bodies and minds to it. The only solace in this sea of uncertainty is that everyone is going through something similar, and everyone is afraid.

Illustration by Storyset.com

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Corona or Us?

Written by HESSA HAMAD ALAHBABI

This story will be my story of Corona and how it affected both my life and the lives of my family.

My family was a typical family; we all lived in a large house together under one roof and were very active all the time. Everyone in my family including me was certain that "Corona," which made headlines around the world, was not a real illness because its symptoms were similar to those of common fever. However, once we learned that it was killing people, we began to stay inside the house and were not allowed to leave, not even for food shopping. From food to medications to clothing, everything was delivered right to our house. One day in 2020 my dad suddenly developed a serious fever that was high, but since it was winter and the weather was chilly, I assumed it must be a typical fever. My family and I were also fairly certain that it could not have been Corona since we hadn't left the house and everything had been delivered.

The following day, his average temperature was normal, but he showed up extremely tired and said he couldn't get out of bed. My mother began checking his condition hourly, but his fever was normal. However, by the time night fell, he had a high fever and was coughing nonstop. So, me the oldest daughter and my little brother drove him to the nearest hospital to have his condition checked, and they gave him medication that was intended to treat fatigue. After two days, my father's condition didn't improve and actually got worse, so I started to consider the signs of this new illness. I started researching Covid more and reading up on how I could tell if someone had it or not, and they mentioned a swab that would indicate whether someone had Covid or not by showing a "positive" or "negative" result. Knowing this information, I arranged for a swab test to check more about my father’s situation since I was the eldest sister and had to handle everything alone due to seeing my father in that way and being helpless, my mental health was devastated during that time. After bringing him in for the swab test, I waited a while before receiving the report, which had the most horrifying word: "positive for Covid."

I broke the sad news to my parents about the result, I didn’t believe that since we didn’t even go outside during the pandemic and how he got it. Since someone in our family was experiencing COVID for the first time, a lot of ideas began to race through my head about what to do next. I quickly made contact with a medical professional at one of the private hospitals, and without further ado, my family and I headed to the emergency room there. We were all seated in a large waiting room when five persons wearing strange white clothing suddenly entered and took my father to the Covid section. My mind immediately began to race with ideas of all the rumors that I had heard about, and I began imagining the worst possible outcomes. Seeing this sickness and its effects in the news had a negative impact on my mother's physical and mental health.

I attempted to maintain my composure and assure my mother and brother that everything would be okay while hearing the noises of people crying and the emergency room in the background.

After 6 hours had passed in the waiting room, the doctor came to us and called us to tell us about the developments, thank God everything was fine. He said that the best thing we did was to bring him as soon as possible without delay, which would make a big difference. The doctor told us to go since he couldn't let us in and that there were some important regulations for the patients' safety. Of course, we didn't talk about it and did what was best for my father by leaving. The doctor phoned us to let us know that we may finally take my father home after not seeing his face

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due to the rules that we had to follow, after 3 to 4 weeks of feeling alone on the days that our joy vanished and our mental health was awful from what we witnessed our father go through. We bring him back and he was so much better from the last time we saw him; I can't begin to express how I felt when I saw my mother's smile and his smile together; it was one of the happiest moments of my life.

That year was the worst of my life because of how difficult it was, how it changed me to take those things more seriously, how it changed me to be more protective of my family, and how it changed me to appreciate all the little things we have. What happened to my father will always be the most difficult thing that has ever happened to me. Also, it has changed the world in many ways, one of them is that a person should not underestimate a disease or postpone something until another time, you do not know what will happen tomorrow. And that a person should not only see with his mind but think about the important people in their life too like their family and how they can protect them in all the ways they can. The year 2020 was of course a strange year and a year that will not be forgotten for me and everyone because of the beginning of Covid.

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COVID-19: A Blessing in Disguise?

Written by TAMADHER ALQASSABI

Background Towards the end of 2019, at the beginning of the Coronavirus-19 (COVID-19) outbreak in Wuhan, China, many other countries were living in nonchalance. As a matter of fact, everyone thought that it was just like any seasonal flu that will pass, and did not expect the serious health complications and fatality it would cause.

learned in elementary school. Similarly, the symptoms were aggravated for those who were at the time suffering from a mental health issue, and relapse of symptoms for some others.

Humans are social beings by nature, the feelings of restriction and isolation during the quarantine and social distancing caused many individuals a great deal of psychological distress (Vindegaard & Benros, 2020). Even after recovery from COVID-19 symptoms, some people noticed that they were easily fatigued in comparison to before COVID-19 infection (Yelin et al., 2020; Salamanna et al., 2021). Likewise, others reported abnormal lung function, neurological issues, and olfactory dysfunction (Salamanna et al., 2021).

Once the disease started to spread like wildfire throughout Asia and then to Europe and the Americas, people around the world went into a state of mass panic. Shortly after, it was discovered that COVI0-19 was an airborne disease (i.e. via contamination of surrounding air with droplets carrying the virus) with a high degree of transmissibility. Consequently, many affected nations started to take preventive measures such as social distancing, wearing masks in public places, and quarantine upon discovery of infection or symptom manifestation. These preventative measures were often mandatory, and nonadherence resulted in a legal fine or some sort of punishment.

Apart from the physical and psychological impact, another aspect was affected by the pandemic to a great extent, which is the economy (Gupta et al., 2020). The economical state in Oman, where I am from, suffered immensely, as the country reduced and restricted the influx of tourists, and diverted all resources to fight the pandemic. To compensate for the economical deficit lots of people have been laid off, and many projects as well as scholarships were cancelled.

Speaking from personal experience, this caused me and several individuals' plans to crumble, and impeded the livelihood of many families, which in itself was a major source of distress.

Impact of COVID-19 The pandemic has left people with many psychological and physical consequences, in which some of them persist to this day (Vindegaard & Benros, 2020 ;Salamanna et al., 2021). The nature of COVID-19, which was unknown at the beginning caused many individuals a lot of anxieties. In a sense, people became paranoid due to the uncertainty, including myself. Individuals started to clean every single corner in the house with disinfectant, applying hand sanitiser every 30 minutes, spraying clothes and separating them during washing.

Literally, everyone started to follow every possible rule of hygiene that they have

Efforts to tackle the problem One of the efforts in Oman was to provide psychological support to the public through operating a chat room. The Psychology of Youth volunteering team initiated this service (i.e. In arabic: ‫تطمن‬, romanised: Tatamman,

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meaning: rest assured) using its members who work in the mental health field as chat operators. In addition, a website was created to psychoeducate the public about the pandemic and its influence on psychological health. Also, the website provides tips with self help tools and information about the psychological services available in Oman (Visit to find more: https://www.psychCovid19oman.com/).

How the pandemic changed us Many epidemiological experts regard COVID19 as one of the worst pandemics in history akin to the Black death and Spanish Flu (aka: H1N1) (Patterson, McIntyre, Clough & Rushton, 2021). According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the number of infected people around the world exceeded 635 million cases and caused more than 6.5 million deaths as of 9th October 2022 (WHO, 2022). Despite the chaos it caused, the pandemic revived many aspects that were thrown into oblivion. With the rising demand, the pandemic reinforced psychological services in Oman, and affected individuals started seeking help from professionals more actively. Also, the dip in the economy encouraged individuals to start their own businesses, resulting in the prosperity of local businesses. Furthermore, it ameliorated the delivery services which prior to the pandemic were almost non-existent and limited. This came as a result of having to distance or isolate ourselves due to the infection risks associated with being in public, which made going out a difficult chore, hence delivery was the most convenient option. Through this experience, the healthcare system was able to develop a better mechanism to respond efficiently to infectious diseases of such kind (Patterson et al., 2021). Lastly but not the least, a personal benefit that I have gained is that this pandemic taught me to cherish every little detail in my life.

I was part of this team as a chat operator for several months during 2020. As an aspiring psychologist, I have learned many skills including reflective listening and validation.

As we were all in the same boat, I could relate and empathise with the person on the chat.

With my limited expertise, I wanted to help them feel better as much as I could. I can say for sure that this experience widened my horizons!

The discovery of COVID-19 vaccine greatly reduced many worries, nevertheless, it was not without any obstacles. Ironically, several people were hesitant or refused to be vaccinated due to assumptions that it would make them weaker, or more prone to sickness (Yelin et al., 2020). Amid the uncertainty, speculations and psychological distress, individuals were skeptical about anything that happened around them. Social media, conspiracy theories and cultural factors played a huge role in this misconception and hesitance about COVID-19 vaccine (Bridgman et al., 2020; Hornsey, 2022; van Mulukom et al., 2022). However, scientists came forward to clarify and put these assumptions to rest, as COVID-19 vaccines prevented an additional 14.4 to 19.8 million deaths in more than 150 countries worldwide between the year 2020 and 2021 (Watson et al., 2022).

In a nutshell, the pandemic was the beginning of a mass panic that ended with a myriad of lessons. Although COVID-19 has not disappeared completely, the storm it caused improved the health care system, at least in my country, and many individuals became mentally more resilient, including myself. In the end, I believe even a calamity that came upon us could be a blessing in disguise!

References Bridgman, A., Merkley, E., Loewen, P. J., Owen, T., Ruths, D., Teichmann, L., & Zhilin, O. (2020). The causes and consequences of COVID-19 misperceptions: Understanding the role of news and social media. Harvard Kennedy School Misinformation Review, 1(3).

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Gupta, M., Abdelmaksoud, A., Jafferany, M., Lotti, T., Sadoughifar, R., & Goldust, M. (2020). COVID-19 and economy. Dermatologic therapy, 33(4), e13329-e13329.

Hornsey, M. J. (2022). Reasons why people may refuse COVID‐19 vaccination (and what can be done about it). World Psychiatry, 21(2), 217.

Patterson, G. E., McIntyre, K. M., Clough, H. E., & Rushton, J. (2021). Societal impacts of pandemics: Comparing COVID-19 with history to focus our response. Frontiers in public health, 206.

Salamanna, F., Veronesi, F., Martini, L., Landini, M. P., & Fini, M. (2021). PostCOVID-19 syndrome: the persistent symptoms at the post-viral stage of the disease. A systematic review of the current data. Frontiers in medicine, 8, 653516.

Van Mulukom, V., Pummerer, L. J., Alper, S., Bai, H., Čavojová, V., Farias, J., ... Žeželj, I. (2022). Antecedents and consequences of COVID-19 conspiracy beliefs: A systematic review. Social Science & Medicine, 114912.

Vindegaard, N., & Benros, M. E. (2020).

COVID-19 pandemic and mental health consequences: Systematic review of the current evidence. Brain, behavior, and immunity, 89, 531-542.

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Conquered Challenge Conquered Challenge Conquered Submissions Winners of the Spring 2022 Short Story Competition

UNDER THE THEME

conquered Challenge

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Your Son is Still Alive First Place Winner Story By MARYAM POOLAD

He calls himself a drifter. He walks the long dusty roads and crosses counties and towns, and he walks alone. In his mind his solitude is a virtue; he shoulders his troubles and needs no one. He sees himself in the tragically lone heroes he reads about in the seedy bookstores of these dead towns he passes. He stopped thinking about his life and what he's come to. Now he lets his feet lead the way, his eyes fixed on the ashen horizon, a memory of a bent walnut tree in his mind. When he closes his eyes, he can almost hear its creaking. It keeps him going. He does not know when people have stopped seeing him, but it seems like ages since anyone has sent a glance his way. Don’t look crazies in the eye, his mother used to say. He stifles a hysterical laugh. He supposes he does look crazy. He doesn’t have a plan, and that’s alright because he believes that the greatest things in life came about haphazardly. He doesn’t need a plan. Not he. The feeling came about gradually.

That reassuring sense of direction when the unfamiliar path you have been walking becomes recognizable, and you realize you were not lost after all. It settled over him like a warm blanket. Yes, he knew this place; he had walked in these narrow streets, and he had played under these trees. And somewhere in this town, his town, he is sure of that now, as sure as the rapidly rising beat of his heart, is a little house in a corner, that he used to call home. A long time ago, when his palms were soft and unscarred and the word ‘child trafficking’ meant little to him. A time before he was ripped from his life and taken far away. But he swore he would find his way back, didn’t he? Before he realizes it, he is running, and for the first time in so long, a wide grin breaks across his features. Under the walnut tree is Mother, and behind her is Home.

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The World isn’t Fair Second Place Winner Story By SHAHAD AL HARTHI

Abdah always knew that the world isn’t fair, unfairness wasn’t a mysterious secret to her, it yelled at her face ever since her little 6-year-old body starved for a whole week. She knew it wasn’t fair of her parents to bring her and her 6 brothers into this life when they couldn’t even feed themselves, she knew it wasn’t fair for her juvenile 12-year-old self to lay next to a 40-year-old husband, she knew it wasn’t fair to be called a bawd by the village women when she kicked a ball towards a boy her age. With all of her weathered bones, purple-painted thorns, bleeding thighs and forlorn eyes, she knew for a fact that this world wasn’t made for someone like her. Her husband was filled with the most sensitive hurricanes, even an extra grain of salt in his food, could trigger a disaster. After he saw his wife give a loaf of bread to the boy she once kicked a ball too, his hurricanes consumed him, and Abdah couldn’t feed the boy whose heart no longer beat, nor hide from the man who got locked away. Abdah always shut her mouth and surrendered to the world’s injustice, but she couldn’t when her daughter was going to be taken away. She kicked and yelled and fought with her trifling fists, even though she was no stronger than her brother-in-law, she swore to take what was never given to her, so she never let go of her baby even when her fingers broke. In the face of determination, the man walked away saying, “She’ll die out of hunger anyway”.

When her daughter’s stomach growled for two days, Abdah cried, she didn’t want her child to become her. So, she became the first woman in the village to carry bags of cement. With her arched back, bulky arms, her thick thighs and buoyant eyes, Abdah knew for a fact that this world wasn’t made for someone like her, but she was about to make it be. Her daughter grew healthy to become a grandmother to someone who is writing this story.

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It is Time to Write with a Pen Third Place Winner Story By HAMAD ALBLOOSHI

His eyes are shut, but he always sees traces of light that he can't comprehend. The sound of his fingers tapping the white desk travels through his ear canal, transforming the sound into an electrical signal that amplifies his doubts. The table is filled with paper drafts that lead to dead ends all the time. He felt accomplished after writing his novel, but the feeling didn't last; instead, doubt is all he feels now. With this doubt, writing becomes unbelievably difficult.

He decides to try writing again, so he picks up his pencil and starts writing. His thoughts seem gorgeous, but once he writes them down, they look lame and unworthy. Therefore, he erases these words and starts over. Amid this stringent process, he stares at his pencil and asks himself, what if it was the pencil preventing him from writing. With the pencil, there is always room for doubt.

Words written by a pencil are erasable and hence unworthy of writing. He opens his drawer and takes the new fountain pen his friend gifted him when he published his novel. He removes the lid from the pen and places the pen's nib on the paper.

The idea of writing with a pen frightens him because there is no chance for mistakes now. He decides to overcome this feeling and start writing. With the pen, his thoughts begin to flow as if the pen was echoing the sound of his soul. The ink was all over the page, and it had been weeks since he filled a page with his words.

He closes his eyes in disbelief and sees traces of lights again, and realizes that in the middle of what we think is blindness, our brain denies the darkness and creates flashes of light. He picks up the pen and says to himself, “It is time to write with a pen because, with a pen, I deny the darkness and write without doubt.”

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Is This Ending or Is It Our Life Now? Will We Survive?

Written by AISHA SAEED

4th of March, 2020 we received an email that the spring break will start early this year and classes will resume on the 22nd of March to 2 April online! it was a happy moment until we saw the news about Covid, not everyone was in the consciousness to understand what does this mean? what does a pandemic? why is it called Covid-19? Why should we stay away from others? many questions were proposed and there are no answers that should calm anyone.

I didn’t even think that one day we were going to a grocery store with a mask and glove, it was so depressing that we might stay with a mask at our own house if some of the family is sick even with a normal fever just because it might be Covid-19 and we are not sure about it.

Many relationships were down, many friendships are not the same, and mental health played a big role during quarantine, about me and my family, the fact that we stay in the same place for all that time was depressing, many of us gained a lot of weight, some of us has lost weight. I lost weight because I stayed in my room most of the time, not talking a lot and most of my time I was exercising, I wasn’t eating that much because I’ve had the fear of gaining more weight during the quarantine because everyone in the home was cooking including myself. It's like we survived with food.

Online teaching started after spring break, online teaching was a disaster in the beginning, the way that our instructors are teaching us without being able to see each other is so unusual, misunderstanding the lectures, and missed a test because of technical problems, however, it didn’t take us a long time to cope with the online teaching on the other hand it was exhausting for us for the teaching faculty, with the hope that we are going back to the university in the 2nd of April, but that didn’t happen, online teaching resumed for 2 years because of the Covid-19 pandemic and we cannot be close to anyone we have to be distanced from others to not get the Covid-19 virus.

The fear of getting sick, the fear of being a Covid-19 patient, and staying isolated for 2 weeks on your own with an untreated virus!

This was a different kind of fear to get sick with a virus that have no treatment. The fear of losing a family member or someone you know; was obsessively stressful for the mind to handle all of that.

I was one of the people who were not in their conscious mind, I couldn’t accept the idea that it was a dangerous virus, I was in a denial stage while my family was thinking about survival and how is this ending, I don’t know if this is a hope that the normal life will come back or it’s a denial to not get in the worrying and overthinking level, but it didn’t last to 1 month after the quarantine was a must for everyone, we should stay in the house and we can’t visit our family and friends, we can’t go anywhere but the grocery! Here is where I started feeling how are going back to everything we used to have, to do.

There was no enjoyment of the holidays, birthdays, a newborn in the family, etc. We couldn’t celebrate any of the usual occasions we have every year and only see the family via video call! Thank God we survived this pandemic, although many individuals are still suffering mentally it’s a blessing to be alive after all.

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Conclusion The point of this essay is to APPRECIATE, FEEL THE MOMENTS, LOVE AND BE LOVED, DO WHATEVER COMES TO YOUR MIND AND YOU CAN DO IT, NEVER POSTPONE SOMETHING YOU ARE ABLE TO DO AT THE MOMENT, VISIT YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY EVERY DETAIL OF LIFE.

Which means, this pandemic was a forced opportunity to appreciate life, moments, family, health, to appreciate the small and the big details, to appreciate the time we spend with family and friends, and the time we spend at work and school. An opportunity to start achieving our goals, an opportunity to find meaning.

I read a quote in an article from the WHARTHON magazine that says, “The pandemic has been, after all, an opportunity —a forced one, to be sure, but still an opportunity — to ponder what we as individuals, employees, and organizations truly care about.”

References Davis, n.m. (2020). Wharton magazine.

Leveraging gratitude in a post-pandemic world: Nancy.

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COVID-19 and How It Impacted My Life Written by AZHAR ABDULLA

My life in the pre-pandemic era was full of adventure and excitement. My first task of the day would be to go on my morning jog in the nearby park where, I was able to meet many new people and feel the breath of fresh air which, allowed me to get myself ready for all of the different tasks that I would have to the day. For example, enjoying the rays of sunshine and watching people with one another continuously improved my mood and life to the fullest. The reason for this I have always been a vivacious person throughout my entire life and have always looked upon different topics and events positively. One of my key talents is quickly finding any positive attribute in a negative situation. However, the pandemic significantly hampered this ability of mine because the entire year of 2020 was spent in quarantine, and I had little to no exposure to other individuals and could not interact with them. This was highly depressing and stressful for any lively person and heavily impacted my and other individuals' life. regardless of which part of the world an individual lived in, there was a high chance that that area had been impacted

by COVID-19 as well. For example, when the first wave of COVID hit and governments around the world started to enforce quarantine and lockdown it all was lively at the.

The reason for this is that I was able to enjoy the self-relaxation that I was able to receive from quarantine because universities were in lockdown, meaning that I had time to invest in my hobbies and also invest in myself. I was able to benefit from the pleasure of my time and was able to have the opportunity to be committed to all of the different tasks that I had wanted. For example, I had many different and movies that I had planned on watching but was unable to due to the

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majority of my bucket list movies all right, also devoured into my library of books, I was able to purchase many different novels and ebooks and, read all of the different fascinating stories that I had always wanted to.

Furthermore, I was also able to invest in myself because it allowed me to improve my physical well-being and health. For example, since I had time for my hobbies, I could swim in my pool and work out, significantly improving my physique. I felt productive also started to develop many new habits because the pandemic and isolation allowed me to spend time for myself, meaning that I could get better quality sleep and relax.

This meant that I was mentally fresh and stressed less. I started to find new hobbies such as meeting and learning guitar. Learning guitar had always been one of my major hobbies on my bucket list, and due to university life, I needed to catch up to this hobby. So, the isolation allowed me to work on my guitar skills effectively and learn how to play. I started practicing after the first few weeks of isolation, and, it also allowed me to find a new passion in music. However, all good times must be short-lived, and all of these beneficial factors of the isolation only lasted for the first few weeks because I started to feel drowsier and sleepier after the first few weeks.

Further, I had already binge-watched all of my different seasons and shows and had nearly all of the books I wanted to. This meant that life soon became too dull for me, and I was getting tired of not being able to go out and enjoy my life with my friends. For example, I was not feeling productive anymore, and the physical activity I had developed also started to suffer a lot. Not to mention, the conditions of quarantine and all of the different factors

associated with it were starting to get on my nerves, making the entire concept of selfisolation and calling Dean feel more terrible.

No longer did I feel any pleasure in staying alone at home, and no longer did music help me in my time.

during the pandemic has been extremely tiring and taxing for many individuals, including me.

References Singh, J., & Singh, J. (2020). COVID-19 and its impact on society. Electronic Research Journal of Social Sciences and Humanities, 2.

Furthermore, the change was not only for me; the entire world also suffered from the exact same dilemma that I was suffering from. For some context, the way that individuals would learn also started to change as well. For example, since universities had closed down due to the pandemic and lockdown, the entire university began to shift towards a more online approach and focused on virtual learning (Alzueta, Perrin, Baker, Caffarra, Ramos‐Usuga, Yuksel, & Arango‐Lasprilla, (2021)). This meant that classes were starting to be held on Zoom, and not only was this more boring, but it also impacted how individuals learned. The reason for this is that, even though all of the different factors are the same, individual guests' level of immersion in a classroom is different from what they get in a zoom classroom setting in front of their computers. This significantly impacted my education and my grades also started to suffer.

Alzueta, E., Perrin, P., Baker, F. C., Caffarra, S., Ramos‐Usuga, D., Yuksel, D., & Arango‐ Lasprilla, J. C. (2021). How the COVID‐19 pandemic has changed our lives: A study of psychological correlates across 59 countries.

Journal of clinical psychology, 77(3), 556-570.

Not only that, but the entire way that I was able to communicate with my friends and family also shifted. For example, before, if I wanted to meet up with my friends, I would send them a message through text. Still, there is no concept of meeting up with my friends and family, and there is nowhere to meet them face due to the different social distancing policies enacted by the government. Furthermore, it was also highly taxing for many other individuals the lives of many individuals also changed. For example, before, Americans had to commute towards their places, but now, the trend of working from home also emerged (Singh, & Singh, (2020). However, it was only for those lucky individuals who were not laid off from their jobs, as the majority of the workers were laid off from their companies due to downsizing in companies. All these factors significantly impacted how society conducts itself, and life

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Giving Up Is Not An Option Written by SHERWET A. KHOUGA

The Phenomenological Journey Of A Determined Women Through A Pandemic:

Figure 1: The Brain in half. The Amygdala controls emotional responses & helps the brain store memories. The Hippocampus plays an important role in memory, navigation, and emotional response. They work closely together.

Background A number of questions come to mind when we think of global events that affect the mass.

Why does one event affect us differently than the other? Is it the result of the media, is it the surprise of the cause of death, or perhaps it is the governmental fear factor and lockdown that caused a panic? Nevertheless, there was a severe panic, businesses and schools halted, hospitals overflowing, homes, cars, and pets abandoned and streets empty.

One: The Virus The Coronavirus (COVID-19) (figure 2) pandemic induced an extraordinary health catastrophe worldwide in 2020 (Collado-Boira, E.J., et al., 2020).The number of infected cases and deaths worldwide multiplying weekly resulting in 6.63 million deaths to date (approximately 3 years).

Psychologically speaking, major events occurring around us leave a permanent impression in our minds with or without deaths included (directly or indirectly affecting us). This is recalled as part of our episodic memory.Think of the 2001 world trade center attack, do you remember where you were when you heard the news? Now think about the Thai kids' football team who were trapped in the cave, where all the kids survived but we will forever remember the event.

Covid-19 (figure 1) is nothing short of such a permanent infliction on our subcortical structures of the brain. Theseare a group of diverse neurological formations involved in the complexities of emotions, memories, and hormone production (Vasković, J., MD. 2022).

Figure 2: The Coronavirus, as presented by the WHO and CDC. Globally, roadway accidents (figure 3) every year resultin the death of 1.35 million people (4 mil in 3 years),and almost 3,700 are killed everyday due to crashes involving cars, buses, bicycles, motorcycles, trucks,or pedestrians, people are not alarmed by those occurrences (CDC, 2020, December 14). The Global Health Institute reports that scientists and statisticians were not alarmed by the new pandemic since they believe that every 30-35 years a pandemic is statistically found to be featured around the world (Penn, M., 2021, August 23).

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January 2020: I boarded the plane from San Francisco to Dubai through Heathrow. By the time I landed at Heathrow I was completely consumed by ‘the flu’, desperately trying to breathe properly, unable to keep my head up and eyes open, and my entire body felt as if I was being crushed under a bus. I have no recollection of the second flight from Heathrow to Dubai. Dubai physicians reported a diagnosis of Chronic Bronchitis. Ironically, I wore a mast throughout the illness and was unable to leave my bed not knowing it was an unofficial Covid-19 diagnosis.

Figure 3: Roadway accidents globally account for millions of deaths

February 2020: The virus began alarming people and government. It was announced as a local pandemic. Mass panic begins.

Similarly, The Center for Infectious Disease reported that a pandemic's prompt probability in the world is about 2% in any given year, meaning an individual born in the year 2000 would have approximately a 38% likelihood of experiencing such a virus by 2020 (Sandman,P .M, 2020, August23).

March 2020: Countries began their quarantine and lockdown protocol. Mass panic peaks.

July 2020: I called the admissions office of the PsyD Clinical Psychology program to request a deferred year, while the world government, scientists, and physicians conclude the situation.

Two: The Timeline The Career Change is Official

December 2020: As life began to resume, I realized it still halted for me with the affliction of the coronavirus. I lost much of my savings and only began freelance work with much worry and anxiety.

August 2019: I had just boarded a plane leaving Scotland back to Dubai after graduating with an MSc in Psychological studies.

The Universe Had Other Plans

June 2021: I was unable to pursue the doctorate due to the high financial burden along with the Covid-19 implication of uncertainty. I was forced to retract my acceptance of my doctoral position. Dreams were shattered, the future was dark, and there was so much unsureness about what will come next.Therapy and alternative mindfulness techniques allowed me to manage the psychological stress, clinical depression, and physical distress that were the chronic themes throughout this period.

November 2019: I applied to an Integrated PsyD in Clinical Psychology in San Diego and had just received my unconditional offer letter.

A 4-year doctorate that will finally equip me with the degree, tools, and knowledge that I need to begin a new chapter in my life. I was to attend school in the fall of 2020.

December 2019: I flew to the United States, visited the university campus, and sent in my acceptance of their offer.

Back in Action

The Dawn of The Dark Times

March 2022: I accidentally encountered an advertisement communicating an MSc in Clinical Psychology right here in the UAE at the United Arab Emirates University.

December 2019: On the 31st of Dec, China alerted the World Health Organization (WHO) regarding the various cases.

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Once I had done my research, all hope was restored. My future was back on track. Later, life became simultaneously easier and harder, as I began the fight for a spot in the program.

Earning this master's degree is an essential part of my journey. It offers a variety of learning opportunities and courses to prepare and set me on the right professional path. The program covers all the fundamental aspects of planting a strong foundation, in-depth teaching, and building my knowledge to pursue further studies. The choice became extremely obvious to make.

Collado-Boira, E. J., Ruiz-Palomino, E., SalasMedia, P., Folch-Ayora, A., Muriach, M., & Baliño, P. (2020). "The COVID-19 outbreak"An empirical phenomenological study on perceptions and psychosocial considerations surrounding the immediate incorporation of final-year Spanish nursing and medical students into the health system. Nurse educationtoday, 92, 104504.

Penn, M. (2021, August 23). Statistics Say Large Pandemics Are More Likely Than We Thought. Duke Global Health Institute.

Sandman, P.M. (2007, February 2). A severe pandemic is not overdue - it's not when but if.

Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy.

August 2022: I am reminded of a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." As the new academic year began, I felt a much awaiting and deserved opportunity came to light.

Vasković, J., MD. (2022, October Subcortical structures. Kenhub.

Three: The Future Coming from and living in an Arab society that refuses to acknowledge mental health issues, to a point of it being considered taboo by many individuals, gives me the best platform to break through the conservative thought model and be a bridge that would bring two different mindsets to better understand each other.

While a master's degree in clinical psychology will be the most important stepping stone towards achieving my next goal of dealing with clients. Pursuing a PhD would follow as well.

Looking ahead 10 years from now, I will be equipped with the education, knowledge, and passion, ready to establish my own practice; where I can better the lives of children, adults and families. I will be honored by and grateful for every challenge, rejection, acceptance, support, emotion, and pandemic for making me stronger for giving me the opportunity to become a professional psychologist fulfilling my life's call.

References Centersfor Disease Controland Prevention (CDC). (2020,December 14). Road Traffic Injuries and Deaths—A Global Problem.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

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27).

Life During & Beyond the Pandemic

Written by ALJAZEEYA ALMANSOORI

The coronavirus pandemic has taken a massive psychological toll on people around the world. Covid-19 not only causes an illness with physical symptoms, but it also affected one’s mental health. Throughout the pandemic, coronavirus restrictions put many people in a form of isolation that is unprecedented in the modern world (Serafini et al., 2020). Schools closed, businesses shuttered, and public gatherings of all kinds were canceled or moved online. The lockdown we have had have increased my anxiety level and has impacted my psychological well-being negatively. It increased the likelihood of me being worried about my health, and my family’s health, especially my grandparents who had several medical problems. Dealing with hygiene issues was challenging as we had to clean everything we bought and wash our hands regularly. Furthermore, it was my last semester as a Psychology undergraduate student, and the classes were online. These rapid changes and the new strict policies around the country were overwhelming and unexpected. Moreover, hearing unpleasant news from different media sources daily was demanding and distressing.

On the other hand, the high expectation from parents makes children depressed if they cannot meet them. After graduation, my parents expected me to find a job and help them financially, which led me to develop a depressed mood. Unfortunately, at that time I was stressed and viewed myself as a meaningless person who could not achieve her parents’ expectations which affected me physically, socially, and emotionally.

Consequently, I started to isolate myself and apply to different associations and foundations to get a job through websites and emails, as a result, no one responded to me. I was vulnerable and sensitive and almost lost interest in the things I usually do, but my grandmother’s support and prayers were the motivation that increased my self-esteem. She hugged me and wiped my tears every time I grieved.

I experienced anxiety during the pandemic, and it was caused by different reasons. My anxiousness was increasing because of the change we had in the learning system because online learning was new and unexpected.

Fortunately, the learning experience was smooth, and my grades were stable. My other anxiety source was my grandparent’s medical health because they had Asthma and heart disease. During the pandemic, we got infected

by Covid-19, and we quarantined for three weeks. I was worried, depressed, and anxious about how they will survive. Pretending to be strong in front of them was tough as I believed that might help them overcome any psychological side effects.

My grandmother praying for me.

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As there was a lack of social connections with people, it was an opportunity to learn how to notice and label thoughts and emotions and accept them. I emotionally reconnected with myself, and I got to know myself in depth.

Also, I was able to recognize my strengths and weaknesses and deal with them in adaptive ways. I became a germophobic person and that led me to be overly protective of my physical hygiene and changed my attitude toward my physical health. The pandemic affected my perspectives of simple daily activities because I started to view them as therapeutic actions. These simple therapeutic activities, such as cooking, worked on protecting my psychological well-being, and they operated as a stress relief and mood improvement method. Writing a poem during the quarantine has helped me to express my emotions and motivate myself.

allowed people to interact online in ways never imagined from virtual meetings to online concerts. One thing the pandemic showed us is that mental health is not necessarily solely an individual issue and that it is something that is best addressed in the community and through social connections.

My view was proven during pandemic that mental and psychical health are equally important to be taken care of. It was also proven that stress relief techniques and meditation sessions were significant in helping people who suffered from Covid-19.

It was unexpected that online therapy session were effective and reduced psychological distress during the pandemic (Ierardi, Bottini, & Riva Crugnola, 2022). I learned how the society plays a significant role in protecting the people’s mental health by establishing programs, initiatives, and activities to maintain a healthy psychological well-being.

The poem: Nothing around me is making sense I see the world through a dark lens

During the pandemic and strict Covid-19 policies, I have trained and worked as a mental health facilitator to help college students learn how to deal with their emotional and social issues. I worked on spreading awareness of the importance of mental health on different occasions. I recommended tips and activities to help the people around me focus only on positivity. As a future and aspiring clinical psychologist, I was open to listening and had online chats with anyone who needed someone to talk to and express thoughts and emotions as I paid attention to them and respected what they were going through.

Thunder shakes my anxious soul My mood pushes me into a dangerous hole Look around and count the blessings Meditate, tolerate when it is distressing Recognize your feelings with optimism Accept your thoughts without criticism In the two years since the outbreak of Covid19, people around the world have faced an unprecedented loss of life-impacting almost everyone in personal ways. While many people shifted to working from home, frontline workers showed up in person to ensure our essential needs were taken care of, not just medical workers but also other people were in the frontline in grocery stores, and that increased the appreciation. Working from home was new to many, but most people worldwide embraced it. Also, many people reevaluate their relationship with work, and others use the lockdown as a way of reconnecting with family members and friends (Roy et al., 2020). Moreover, cultural activities went online during the pandemic, and it

The topic of mental health was pushed to the forefront, some employers prioritized the mental health of employees promoting wider access to therapy and other resources. Online conferences by counsellors and clinical psychologists held to acknowledge people about the negative psychological impacts of quarantine and lockdowns. Moreover, the coronavirus pandemic did not stop clinical psychologists from practicing their work because they used online websites and applications to meet their patients and work

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to resolve their issues. Clinical psychologists also have worked on conducting research to provide knowledge on pandemic effects (Karekla et al., 2021).

After the pandemic ended and everything went back to how it was before, I tried hard to adapt to society and be psychologically stable by participating in volunteering programs.

Although my social skills were greatly affected due to the lack of social communication during the pandemic, I am now trying to overcome my social anxiety.

References Ierardi, E., Bottini, M., & Riva Crugnola, C. (2022). Effectiveness of an online versus faceto-face psychodynamic counselling intervention for university students before and during the COVID-19 period. BMC psychology, 10(1), 1-10.

Karekla, M., Höfer, S., Plantade-Gipch, A., Neto, D. D., Schjødt, B., David, D., ... & Hart, J. (2021). The role of psychologists in healthcare during the COVID-19 pandemic: Lessons learned and recommendations for the future.

European Journal of Psychology Open, 80(12), 5.

Roy, J., Jain, R., Golamari, R., Vunnam, R., & Sahu, N. (2020). COVID‐19 in the geriatric population. International journal of geriatric psychiatry, 35(12), 1437-1441.

Serafini, G., Parmigiani, B., Amerio, A., Aguglia, A., Sher, L., & Amore, M. (2020). The psychological impact of COVID-19 on the mental health in the general population.

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Make the Good out of the Bad Written by ELNADA MOUSTAFA

After going three years without contracting the COVID-19 virus, I thought I was immune to the disease and invulnerable to it.

Everything was fine up until the end of April 2022, when COVID-19 cases suddenly started increasing again and began to spread rapidly. I suddenly felt very unwell, experienced headache, fever, aches and pains, very bad constipation, a blocked nose, and a sore throat. Although it was a minor cold-like feeling, I knew it was not a typical cold or flu since I felt fatigued and in pain all over my body.

So here I am, feeling extremely unwell during a time in my life that I never wanted to be sick in. I felt very anxious and stressed particularly as my dad is old and had a chronic medical condition, so he was at an increased risk of severe disease if he contacted COVID-19.

I did the PCR test and awaited the results while wearing a mask at home, sitting in the living room with my family, but in the opposite corner from them. That is when, I received a message from the laboratory saying that I tested positive for COVID-19. I had to read the message a couple of times to ensure that I was reading it correctly. I was in denial, I even ran Al Hosn application to double check the result, and it hit me pretty hard this time; the color appeared ‘very red’ and the ‘heartbeat line’ was STRAIGHT, it triggered an overwhelming feeling and sense of panic! I never thought that a color and a line would ever make me feel awfully fearful, nervous, anxious, and upset. By this time, my anxiety peaked. I felt quite tense, ill, worried about my health and the welfare of my father and my family and felt incredibly unlucky to be in quarantine during the Eid holiday and helplessness of spending it with my beloved ones.

Extreme muscle pain and aches, together with constipation, struck me the hardest and made me think that I might be infected by COVID19. As it was very unusual for me to experience these symptoms, and it was also unusual for all of them to strike at once rather than gradually develop. However, I did not experience the typical COVID-19 symptoms of losing my sense of taste and smell, experiencing diarrhea, or having a very high or terrible fever. I therefore hoped it wasn't COVID-19 and that it was instead another sickness that would just disappear in a few days; mostly as it seemed like the pandemic and the virus were getting to an end.

It was the end of Ramadan (the holy month of fasting) and Eid Al-Fitr holiday was about to follow. A holiday that I had been looking forward to, especially that my father, my elder sister, and her children were visiting after a very long time of not seeing them in person.

After being extremely stressed at work, coping with the mental effect of losing my mother and of the pandemic, I was looking forward to the joy of Eid and the joy of spending that very special time with them.

Later, my family thankfully tested negative to COVID-19, and I self-isolated. I was physically in so much pain and took a couple of days until I started to recover. I did not think that isolation would be a problem for me, as I am more of an introvert than an extrovert person, who appreciates the solitude. Nevertheless, it did, it did affect my mental health. I began to ruminate about the severity of my physical state and how it might be a cause of my death, hence I experienced intense sadness and loneliness. I found it surprising how someone who never feels lonely while alone and who

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frequently prefers to be alone might feel quite lonely during a very short period. However, it was against my will, and it happened when I was not ready or even eager to be only by myself; being unable to leave my bedroom for more than five days was very frustrating.

Being ill and even being ill and alone and quarantined is in fact a psychological challenge as it has a huge impact on one’s health, mentally and physically. I wanted to change that, so I began looking for a bright side to that situation.

separated. Countless people have lost their jobs or business, and learning, and social interaction have been lost for children and teenagers for quite a few years. The mental health of people has been significantly and severely impacted because of these health, economic and social effects.

However, as an aspiring psychologist and as a person who always tries to look at the bright side and make something good out of the bad, I view this pandemic as a lesson and a challenge for the humanity. This crisis brought people together and gave us a sense that we all share the same fate and that wherever you are in this world we all are in the same boat, and that we are all fighting the same enemy. People should take advantage of that unity and learn to unit to defeat other enemies that have been in our world for centuries, such as corruptions, poverty, chronic disease, mental illness, other diseases, and many other common enemies.

I had to change that feeling and work on improving my mental health alongside my physical state. I started implementing and practicing some self-care strategies and tricked my mind that this forced isolation was a period of solitude. Although it was challenging since I was physically ill and unable to fully practice my hobbies or engage in those techniques, I tried and did my best, aiming to improve my mental state. I practiced mindfulness, listened to good music, and started painting and sketching. Moreover, I reminded myself how fortunate I was to be able to self-isolate at home without being hospitalized and how grateful I was that my family was not infected. It was in fact an emotional roller coaster, yet eventually I was able to improve my mental state.

Moreover, this pandemic was an amazing opportunity for people to learn to make use if their time and work on things that they have been putting aside as they had a full busy schedule prior to the pandemic regulations of staying at home. It was a great chance for people to improve themselves mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually. People worked on their hobbies, started a small business, and improved their communications with their families.

When I was alone, I learned what companionship, community, and social life are all about, particularly after spending ten days of quarantine alone twice during the pandemic, I came to the realization that no one can live alone, that we need social support, and that socialization is critical for one’s well-being.

Another benefit of this pandemic, which had a tremendously good effect on the world, was the ability of people to come up with solutions that allowed life to continue even when everything else seemed to halt. For instance, everything appeared to fall into place later when virtual meetings, online learning, ability to meet your therapist online, working from home, and many other methods were established. These methods are still in use today, and I believe they will always be employed.

Like me many people experienced increased anxiety, except for some, COVID-19 has precipitated or exacerbated much more severe mental health issues such as depression and post-traumatic stress.

The COVID-19 pandemic, one of the most significant global crises in centuries, has had significant and broad effects on economics, health systems and civilizations. Where numerous people have lost their lives and others got chronically ill and families have been stressed, hurt, and

Finally, this pandemic served as a powerful reminder for everyone to be grateful and mindful of their blessings. The blessings that

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we got very used to and took for granted that we forgot about and forget to be thankful for, such as being able to shake your friends’ hands, being able to give and receive a hug, going out and using the premises such as restaurants, the gym, and cinemas among many others. People learned to be mindful and sensible for these blessings and appreciate their value.

The below picture describes my view of the COVID-19 pandemic, Making the good out of the bad. This mindset has helped me a lot in my life and during the crises. It is a mindset that as an aspiring psychologist would love to work with and help others to understand and employ it. As it can help an individual be more optimistic, hopeful, understanding of the situation and looking at it from different perspectives.

Illustration by Nuthawut Somsuk iStock.com

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From Depression to Life Written by FATIMA RASHID ALZAABI

Due to increased health and travel regulations, many families spent Eid without sick relatives or in smaller groups than usual.

This was especially true once a new, more infectious strain of the virus was detected all over the world.

It was alarming to find out that my family and I had contracted Corona at the very beginning of this outbreak of the disease. When we did the tests, the results were positive for three members of the family, but this may be explained by the fact that the levels of the virus had not increased sufficiently to emerge in the examination since the infection was in its infancy at the time of the test. During the following days, during which we were in a two-week quarantine, we acquired symptoms that varied from weariness to digestive problems such as colic, diarrhea, and fever, and it was a terrible mess. During this time, we were also in isolation. Because of what we saw, we have the impression that the world is about to come to an end, and there is no reason to have any optimism about the future.

What we saw is extremely difficult for a human to bear.

My mother painting during pandemic 18.9.2020 A new decade begins on January 1st, and who could have predicted what 2020 holds? Since the end of World War II, nothing of this scale has occurred, and it has changed the world.

Within a year, the new Corona virus crippled the global economy, spread throughout society, and confined almost 4 billion people to their homes. Over millions of people died as a direct result of the epidemic. One million or more people have likely been exposed to the recently identified coronavirus. Due to the outbreak, many children lost their parents and grandparents, while others had to spend time in the hospital alone.

Because Allah willed it, we were able to make a full recovery. When some time had passed, we decided to be vaccinated after it had been made available and given the go-ahead by our nation. However, our family was infected with Corona once more in August of 2020, and this time, the findings were positive for everyone in the family with the exception of my younger sister. We developed symptoms that varied from person to person but were more severe than the first infection. Some of these symptoms were feeling more tired than the first time, losing the ability to smell and taste, having a fever and muscle pain, and having nasal symptoms like a runny nose and sneezing.

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All of these symptoms were worse than the first time around.

since they were highly popular and alarming stories that were not all genuine. The essential thing is that I attempt to minimize the news and guarantee that they acquire crucial information about the virus from credible sources.

Depressive symptoms have become widespread as a result of the COVID-19 epidemic, which caused family members to become too exhausted. Isolation, taking precautions, and the fact that they were unable to contact their families, friends, and coworkers as a result of the epidemic were all factors that led to sadness. Depression is a condition that affects a lot of people all over the world, and many people have gone to the doctor in the past to try to get help for their depression.

Third, in order to prevent them from becoming bored, encourage them to watch television shows and read books that they have been putting off. Additionally, educate yourself in a new field that will be useful to you in the long term, such as a different painting technique or language.

Consequently, my mother took pleasure in the suffering while my sister was studying Korean.

I tried my best to change the general atmosphere in the house because I was afraid that the feeling of being suffocated could lead to dire consequences, and at the same time, I read a lot about how infection with the Corona virus and depression can affect a person and how to overcome them. I did this because I was concerned that the feeling of being suffocated could lead to dire consequences.

Being put in quarantine can have a big effect on your mind, which can cause problems with your mental health or even make you feel hopeless.

In my line of work as a clinical psychologist, I am constantly on the lookout for uplifting information that inspires optimism and hope.

We were all relieved to be able to go about our daily lives thinking positive thoughts because these methods were not complicated and could be easily adjusted.

Therefore, the first thing that I do is try to establish a new pattern for them by instructing them to alter their appearance when they wake up, to take a shower, to write down the activities that they have planned for the day, and to ensure that they consume nutritious food, get an adequate amount of sleep, and engage in daily physical activity.

This was a tremendous assistance in establishing the environment of productivity and routine that you were accustomed to maintaining on a daily basis when life was normal. So, as a family member, it's my job to show them how to divide up their day based on what they have to do.

Second, you need to make them maintain contact with the individuals in their immediate environment by carrying on regular phone conversations or exchanging text messages, for instance. I avoided the numerous reports that spread on social media

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Artwork Credit Riman Alia

Artwork Credit Mouza Mubarak Alshamsi

Artwork Credit Mouza Mubarak Alshamsi

POEM TITLE

May It Be May it be that Heaven’s eye smiles upon you!

Graceful chants of peaceful winds will too Bind the good and gracious in this land with you!

As long as thou desire’st to feel the uttermost grace, The Sun, the Sky, and the Earth shall confirm this and embrace, Green fields full of flapping Monarchs and more!

This blissful morning kindly guides thy heart to explore, The everlasting beauty this world mirrors from thy soul, Will ye walk this earth carrying worries of yesteryear?

Or should thine eyes of wisdom flow your steps to upcoming stones to bear?

Written by Ali Abdul Aziz Al-Blooshi

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Painting Credit Paul Sandby (1770) 'The River Severn at Shrewsbury, Shropshire'

POEM TITLE

A Bleak Winter Fades A bleak winter fades, as birds of spring begin to show, And the murky cold nights have lessened of late, and smiles are starting to glow, The old troubles of carrying stone are withering, as I carry less when your winds blow, And steady my heart goes, such beauty stills my soul, and my love for you can only grow, What was pitiful and grim, marshes of loss and heartache, are now fields of gold, And as the sun shines upon us every day, as fields of daffodils flourish, I thank the lord!

An angel he has sent, to turn the tides of a broken soul, to recall good times of old, And no soul shall pass fields of gold, whose core lies in darkness and wishes to alter the discord, The Heavens shall recognize its angels, and your grace and fairness they shall embrace, The light shan’t leave my horizon, as long as I feel your presence, as long as I can see your face!

Written by Ali Abdul Aziz Al-Blooshi

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Painting Credit John Bunney (1858) 'Dunedin'

Artwork Credit Maitha Almdhani

Artwork Credit Maryem Faramawy

Bitterness of Death Twice Written by ARWA ALSEYABI

"Mama... Mama."

She grabs the edge of my dress and calls, screaming if I don't answer her at the same moment. So, I ignore her, but she insists, even though she sees me cleaning the clothes. I tell her, "Wait a bit; when I am done, I'll devote myself to you, my love."

She refuses and pulls on my clothes. She tries to pull me to her, then she pushes the laundry basket to the ground. The clothes fall to the ground and trample on her feet. I look into her eyes and say, "What do you want?" angrily.

"Mama, Mai doesn't want to play with me. Mama, Mai doesn't act like she used to."

She always complains about her cat, Mai, trying to find anything wrong with this poor cat.

After the mother finishes her speech, she bursts into tears. The psychologist gives her a bridge of sympathy, all of which is a handkerchief. She brings it to her side and continues her speech reassuringly.

"I can't stand it any longer. I'm almost crazy with this child. She's only five years old! No... no...

I'm tired, really tired, psychologist. Please help me."

She concludes her sentence with a long sigh, using the tissue that did not spare her nose this time. Then she uses the same tissue to wipe her eyes as well. While sitting on her lap, Maram, her daughter, and next to Maram and her mother, one chair away, the father sits isolated, as if in another world. He's calm to the extent that he doesn't move a finger or utter a word throughout the session.

"Can you explain Maram's problem more? I'm trying to understand to help you."

The psychologist utters these words, which stop the mother's wailing attack from continuing.

"You won't believe it when I tell you that this little creature in my lap has completely changed.

But sometimes I doubt that she is my daughter. Oh, psychologist, I suffer from it daily." She wipes her tears without taking another handkerchief.

"I miss that cheerful, lively child. I miss that innocent smile. I miss the child who obeys my orders and laughs. My child is now a monster. I don't exaggerate. She is violent and rebellious and never listens."

She rises from her seat and rushes towards the psychologist with her child in her hand. The child is upset and buries her face in her mother's shoulder, avoiding looking into the psychologist's eyes. The child's mother holds the hand of the psychologist and then begs between her tears.

"Give me back my baby. Give her back to me as she was. I beg of you."

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The psychologist tries to free her hands from the mother's grip, then says she is calming her emotions.

"I understand what you are going through. I can imagine how difficult it is for you. My question is, when did you start noticing anger and aggressive behavior in particular?"

The mother sits back in her chair while placing her child on her lap again, with a completely empty chair next to her, separating them from the silent father. She then says, "It started since Mai fell ill with COVID. Didn't I tell you how poor this cat is? Since she got sick, my child is obsessed with Mai. She wakes us up in the middle of the night to look for her. Maram and I cry every night after we gave up looking for her. My husband takes a ride in the car to look for the cat.

Then we fall asleep only to notice in the morning that she has come back. But lately, Maram's violent behavior has increased."

"Could you explain more?" the psychologist asks.

"I mean, she started wrestling with the cat until she ended up with scratches from it. Sometimes she tries to suffocate her and deprive her of food. One day, I saw her putting her in a cage just because she didn't want her to leave and get sick. The poor cat is still in that cage without food or water."

Without warning, Maram's mother lets out a scream of severe pain that hits her directly from her jaw to the grid of her head. This pain is a result of Maram's attempt to break free from her mother's hands, flipping and moving continuously until she forcefully turns her head and hits her mother's jaw, causing her to bite her tongue hard. The mother groans in pain, but all Maram cares about is screaming, "Mama... let's go Mama... let's go! Mai is alone at home waiting for us, Mama!"

The psychologist hands the mother a tissue to wipe the blood from her tongue. The mother places the tissue on her tongue, her words stumbling due to the tissue sticking in her mouth.

"Take my phone. I'm talking to Auntie, honey."

Maram grabs the phone and throws it to the ground until it shatters. "It's okay, let her go, and we'll renew our session later."

The mother collects the wreckage of her phone quietly. She carries her child in her hands while Maram wraps her hands around her mother's neck, fearing that she would leave her. The mother's face is bluish, and she speaks.

"Well, we have to go back, but you can talk to my husband about other details."

The psychologist looks at the father and does not know whether to continue the session or end it, but a question persists in her mind.

"Can I ask you about something?"

The husband's features change; he straightens in his seat, lowers his head, and then looks at her with wet eyes.

"I'm not crying, but my eyes are drying fast. I don't know why." The psychologist reassures him, saying, "It's okay; we can talk about it later."

"No... no... I will answer your question because I am the reason. Yes, I am the reason."

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He repeats it, and the more he understands its impact on his heart, the more his hands tremble.

After a few moments of repeating that sentence, as if a bridge of tears has collapsed, he trembles and cries like a small child. He wipes his tears and smiles, as if he is convincing himself that he is fine.

"Do you understand what I did? I destroyed my family; I destroyed it with my own hands." He looks at his hands, then continues and says, "They lost their minds because of me. My love, Maram, and her mother went crazy because of me."

"What do you mean?" she asked, lost in his words, trying to understand. He was impulsive as he explained, "Every day, I wake up at night to their madness, looking for the cat Mai. But which cat? There is no cat; we are all searching for a mirage. I go back to the grave in which the cat was buried, just to make sure it's dead. Every day and every night, I find myself losing my mind over this damn cat that doesn't exist anymore. She died. She died since she got sick, damn corona. But I'm the reason for all of this."

The psychologist tried to understand what he was saying, but she hadn't yet grasped the connection between this matter and his daughter, who bore the name of the cat. No one had mentioned her.

"It all started when my child, Mai, died. We were all devastated, but he singled her out as the victim. So we wanted something to fill that deep void, that abyss of pain. We tried. We tried to have another child, but we failed. I was desperate until I adopted a cat to serve as a substitute for Mai. I thought it would occupy Maram and help her cope. We told her that Mai's spirit lived on in this cat. We couldn't bring ourselves to tell her about her sister's death."

He wiped away tears.

"Maybe we believed our own lie. We held onto it as if the cat truly was Mai, fooling ourselves.

And when this cat also died from COVID, just like Mai did, we tasted the bitterness of death twice."

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Artwork Credit Arwa Awad Alseyabi

My Immortal Sunflower Written by HIND ALI ALMUTAIWEI

When Death Takes Something from You Give It Back" is a book written by Naja Marie Aidt who suffered from grief for a long time because of her son death describing her anger back then as blind anger as well as limitless. Talking about grief lets mention the stages of it starting with the defense mechanism : denial which is not accepting reality and having an attempt to escape the intensity of what is happening. Secondly, Anger which is having rage against everything including God, life, people around you and you. Besides that, Bargaining is the third stage of grieving that forms false hope represents how desperate you are by making deals and negotiating.

Following up with depression to withdraw from life as a result of intense sadness. And lastly, Acceptance is the stage of understanding the situation and accepting it. Also each person experience their grief differently some skip a stage and the another go through it fully and intensely and some can be stuck at one of the phases and can't move out of it.

And now it's my turn to tell you about my grief experience in the pandemic, the starting point is when my sister condition got relapse suddenly and out of nowhere since she was cancer free for one year, she went through check up process to explore what is going on, surprisingly cancer is back however it grew in different organ as well as more lethal. We tried to consult many doctors to start treatment and we did. The treatment process was so tough for all of us especially for her.

She was in pain all the time whenever they try to fix something the other just collapse. In addition we were anxious as well as worried that anyone can infect her with Covid-19 since her immunity is weak furthermore according to the hospital policy no visiting was allowed. After a couple of weeks the doctors who were in charge of her condition lost hope whereas the treatment did not work and her body refused to fight cancer cells so they asked us to put her in palliative care despite that as we are her family we still had hope and we wanted to try everything. For that reason, despite the pandemic difficulties and the complex procedure we went abroad to her previous doctor who dealt with her first cancer and he recommended to start chemotherapy immediately but with light doses due to her fragile body. At the beginning everything went smoothly and we saw some developments including her mood and appetite and that was proven by blood tests. Five days afterwards, she began to become a dead body she couldn't eat, move, talk or do anything she was only alive due to oxygen tube, glucose solution and morphine. In a snowy day, I woke up to the sound of her movement and I saw an angel face however that face wasn't happy or pleased that face was struggling to survive and she left life peacefully…

Here it comes the moment of realization I left the hand of the person who saved me from an inevitable death when I was a kid, I couldn't save my savior, the person we shared ups and downs together, the person who would stand by my side even if I was wrong, I just let go my sister.

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We went back to home although it took us a week because of Covid-19 complication carrying our luggage, disappointment as well as my sister's body with the burden of facing our family and It was the first time I saw us shattering irreparably.

Coincidentally, her favorite flower were beside her tomb, a sunflower, and sunflower lovers known as optimistic and turn your attention to the bright side as she always was and she will always be. It has been two years and a half and I'm still grieving and remember every single thing that happened as if it was yesterday, the shoulder kisses whenever I try to help her, "stay by my side" whenever I leave her alone and telling me how much she loves.

This photo were taken two months after her death when I and my siblings were having a walk and doing a picnic in our countryside after isolating ourselves. I saw this small tunnel followed by bond and tall grass that made me think of a song we used to sing when we were kids "life gives us lights at the end of the tunnel." Maybe if we weren't in the pandemic we would have more treatment options or the rest of the family will be surrounding her.

I know we were supposed to have a happy ending here and she was supposed to be cancer free to sing that song again but I believe she is in a better place where there is no more pain, no more illness and no more suffering.

I'm sharing this story to support grieving people, I know it's too difficult to let go a piece of you however I want you to believe that those hand that were united in life will be united in a happy place one day and let us be strong for the sake of people who love us.

Dearest sister, You sprouted an immortal and flourished sunflower that will never be withered. You will always be in my heart and I will always love you.

May your soul rest in peace.

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Life During the Pandemic Written by ALIA ALNUAIMI

How the pandemic changed me and my family, the people around our society.

There are a lot of things I noticed that changed during the pandemic, things we did before that we no longer do. Before the pandemic, we rarely had family time, and we did not spend as much time with our family as we should have, during the pandemic since we did not go to school or work and everything was online we had to be with each other, I remember my father told me, he did not know his family till now, because he was always working, did not have the time or patience to be with his family. My father was also quick to anger, he got angry pretty easily on everything, but during the pandemic, I noticed that he was not that angry anymore, he was a little more patient with us and took the time to sit with us and have meals.

We also began cooking together, going through our stuff in our rooms, and finding things we did not know about. We watched movies together and ended up ordering food and binge-watching, either me and my sister or with my brothers depending on the movie. I hated my brothers, did not like being with them, and always found them dumb and unintellectual. But I got to know them more during quarantine.

People, in general, became more cautious, and gatherings did not happen as often even after the pandemic, I feel like people really changed, they had the opportunity to disappear and they did, people who felt like they always wanted to leave, just left, we did not hear from them again, they stopped asking, they did not plan gatherings and get together anymore.

During the pandemic, people change; my sister's senior year was also during the pandemic, which meant she dealt with many unpleasant situations whilst at it. I remember her always complaining about her friends and how they were not how they used to be before. It saddened me how trivial things such as not seeing your friends during school time and just communicating with them through a screen can change your point of view about a person. In my opinion, people usually tend to “show their true colors” as some may say, during a crisis, such as a pandemic because they use it as an excuse to neglect their responsibilities. Additionally, she had an eating disorderlike condition that was brought on by the extreme stress their teachers placed on them.

Normally, it's normal to have stress during your senior year of high school, but because of the epidemic, even grownups like my sister's teachers weren't acting rationally. They believed that since kids didn't need to study on school property, they had more time for homework and tests.

Thus they were given extra tasks from each subject whilst working on their graduation project. As a result my sister, as I mentioned before, suffered from a mental illness.

My sister was not the only person suffering during the pandemic. I, on the other hand, started feeling comfortable in isolation. Even after the epidemic, I still refused to meet up with people, especially invitations to crowded places. Although, it wasn’t because I was afraid of catching Covid-19, it was more of a habit or something I grew accustomed to. It didn't bother me at first, but as time went on, I began to notice things. My friends stopped inviting me to events, and my family began leaving me home alone. I experienced a strong sense of loneliness, and my mental health started declining. However, this is where things started to shift.

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I made a conscious decision to step back into society and leave my comfort zone. Although it was frightening, I knew it was better for my sanity and social life.

Society was never the same after covid-19 was discovered. People still wear masks to this day even though it is not required anymore, I asked them what is the reason behind it and they said it's because they got used to it, they feel like they can’t show their faces in public like how they used to. I on the other hand was so happy that they lifted up the restrictions on masks and distance, I like showing my face and the mask makes it hard to breathe sometimes. But people got used to it, they feel safe wearing it, and they don’t feel confident enough to show their face. and some of them still fear the illness, and a lot of them developed a strong fear of viruses and sickness. In my house for example, my grandmother lives with us, she is an old and sick woman, she never got covid thank god but we all were so afraid it would affect her badly, so my aunt prevented my other cousins and aunts and uncles from visiting us and touching her, some of them were understanding and presented negative covid tests before visiting and some of them did not like it so they made a scene and wanted to meet her and greet her as they please which is kind of selfish from them because if they got covid they may not be affected as severely as her, and that shows just how thoughtless people can be, and small-minded, even if they are old enough to understand, I felt bad for my aunt for getting all the backlash from everyone in the family, but at the end they all stayed in tough via phones, social media, and video calls.

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COVID-19: A Blessing for Some but an Affliction for Others Written by MERA ALMANSOORI

In the bustling and lively world where everyone was busy with their daily routines, a sudden outbreak of COVID-19 with high fatality and transmission rate left everyone in panic and fear affecting people’s mental and emotional health. It was first reported in a group of people who were showing symptoms of pneumonia with unknown causes and were linked to the animal and seafood market of Wuhan City in China. Later on, the number of infected patients started increasing in Wuhan and other Chinese cities, forcing their government to impose a complete lockdown in Wuhan and other cities. Despite their efforts, the COVID-19 virus infected people throughout the world within a matter of a few months. This outbreak was then identified by CDC as a pandemic, and the only way to stop its spread was by preventing personal contact. Therefore, all countries began enforcing lockdowns, promoting social distancing techniques for schools, colleges, and offices, and making it compulsory to wear masks when outside. It led to many health, human, and financial crises in underdeveloped and developing countries where daily wage workers were forced to quit their jobs and had no governmental help to support their families. On the contrary, well-established and stable people who were busy working and had no time to spend with their families utilized this lockdown to get closer to them both physically and emotionally.

When COVID-19 inflicted lockdown in our country because of the increasing number of people getting infected and dying, we were forced to quit going to school and take classes and exams online. I had always been a morning person along with my other family members. Due to COVID-19, our daily routines and lifestyles changed a lot including our sleeping patterns, emotional, and mental health. After our classes would finish, me and my other siblings would spend most of our time on either social media, playing mobile games, or watching seasons.

Online mode of classes made us lose interest in studying or being creative, and social distancing made it worse as we were unable to meet our friends. Our parents were also forced to work online leading to financial problems in our family. As they were paid less than they were paid at work, we started struggling financially after a few months. Our parents started arguing with each other resulting in huge fights and making one of them leave the house for 2 or 3 days. Because of financial struggles, we were mentally disturbed and our mother went into depression. My younger sibling started showing signs of anxiety and trust issues making me more worried. As a psychologist, it was my responsibility to take care of my family’s mental health before I was able to help other struggling people. Therefore, I categorized each of my family members based on their cognitive description of the pandemic and started counseling sessions for all of them separately. After promoting them to attend these counseling sessions by providing benefits to their mental health, I encouraged them to exercise in the morning, had positive group discussions on a daily basis, and increased eating meals together. It led to the improved mental health of my family and provided us with a solution for our financial problems.

On the other hand, I observed that some people in our neighborhood who were richer than us had socially distanced families when no lockdown was imposed. We never saw them going on vacations together or having family gatherings. However, when the lockdown was implemented and social distancing was put into practice, we occasionally met them in our nearby park enjoying their quality family time together. As their children were our best friends and we used to play and

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eat together, I got to know that their parents were so busy to spend with their children at home and that’s why our parents happily took care of them. One day, their parents invited us to go with them to their town house as a token of appreciation from them. Though my father declined politely, I insisted on going because I wanted to utilize this opportunity as a counseling therapy for everyone. I did my best during that time to instill positive emotions in everyone, removing negativity, and getting closer with each other. It helped both our families to be able to appreciate each other’s presence while increasing understanding among us.

After I emotionally stabilized my family, I decided to counsel other families suffering in my neighborhood because of the pandemic. Throughout the lockdown, I witnessed that many families were struggling more than my family and needed strong help. I found many students struggling mentally because they were not able to share their feelings with their friends and had to bottle up those emotions inside them. All the students to whom I offered counseling sessions were showing symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, drug addictions, and eating disorders. I tried my best to improve their mental health by encouraging them to have a positive outlook on life, practice various exercises advantageous for brain health, and guided them about the optimistic side of this pandemic.

So, I realized that this pandemic has changed the world drastically within these past years making us appreciate those quality times that we spent freely. Not only it raised human conscience regarding many things, but it also inculcated both positive and negative emotions in people affecting their mental health. Many people around the world suffered from unemployment stress, family burdens, and depression. Students suffered from a lack of social activities and gatherings halting their study progress and creativity levels as it was their prime age of socializing and learning crucial life lessons. For others, it was leisure time during lockdown to get together with family members and go on vacations to increase mental health. Hence, COVID-19 proved to be a blessing for some people while an affliction for others.

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The Lost Hero

made me develop social anxiety. I spent more time sleeping because I believed back then that I had nothing else to do. Spending an enormous amount of time watching series and movies was unhealthy for me personally. But that was not as bad as it could have got. I started losing myself when traumatic events started happening. I lost my grandfather suddenly; he passed away on the 12th of February 2021. He was the sweetest soul; he was always there for all of his grandchildren.

He went to the hospital because he caught Covid, the doctors informed us that he is getting better, and he will be leaving the hospital soon. One day, we were having lunch and we were getting ready to go visit him, my uncle got a call from the hospital, and they let us know that he passed away, it was a devastating news. I remember everyone was crying and screaming but I was standing there watching them in denial. I think my mind knew that I am the only one standing strong, so it took me a week to actually grief him. We got to move on since we made peace with his death, and we accepted it.

Written by ISRAA FAYAD

Covid-19 was the reason behind a lot of losses to many of us. I believe it was a shock, who would ever expect such a big pandemic to happen in a short notice and take so many people so fast? I personally thought it was just a hoax that was done by some teenagers to scare the whole planet. I was in the dorm having a normal week when suddenly the university sent an email that the classes for the rest of the week will be online and that we will go back home for two weeks and then we will come back to complete the rest of the semester, the two weeks they talked about were extended to almost two years. At first, I was very happy about it, spending more time at home, getting to see my cat every day, have my family there, it was not too long until I started getting depressed. I was missing my friends, my social life. I believe I lost the best part of my life, which is experiencing university stage at its fullest. The lockdown made it even worse, not being allowed to get out of the house suffocated me greatly.

Having a specific time to leave the house and to come back was truly a nightmare. I started losing my social connections, I got used to not seeing or talking to people as much which

On April 1st, 2021, we lost our grandmother.

She travelled to Palestine approximately four days before she passed away. I was not very affected with her death because she had Alzheimer’s, and I never had a deep connection with. But it for sure made me sad as I never had the opportunity to say goodbye.

Moreover, my dad was so broken about the fact that he lost his mother and I love my dad so much, so her death indeed made me sad.

Thankfully, the time she passed away my dad was with her in Palestine, and I am grateful he had his moment with her and saw her for the last time. After a week or so, my dad came back home, I was so happy to see him yet so sad I could not hug him or be in close proximity to him. He refused to get close to

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any of us because he was sick, and he did not get his Covid results back yet. The next day, the results came back positive. We were not concerned as he had good health, we were almost sure it will just take the maximum number of days which is 7, and then everything will be alright. I remember it was during Ramadan, my mom, my brother, and I were having Iftar, and I was hearing him screaming so I ran to him, and he said that he feels so tired and he needs to go to the hospital. We called an ambulance, and they picked him up, that was the last time I saw my dad alive. He was quarantined in the hospital, my mom and my brother used to visit him every two days because it was not allowed to visit patients with Covid. I, on the other hand, did not visit him during his stay in the hospital as it was finals season. After approximately two weeks, the hospital called my brother and informed him that my dad passed away. The doctors told us that we tried to do immediate CPR when his heart stopped but it did not work. It felt so unreal. I was angry, sad, in denial, and shocked. What made me mostly angry is that my mom hid the truth about my dad’s condition because she did not want to affect me since I had finals. I believe it was the supreme traumatic event I have ever went through. After that, I had to go see dad, it was downcast seeing him laying on a bed, very weak, not breathing or saying any silly jokes, not standing up. My dad was really tall, and I was always used to looking up to see his face, this time I did not have to do that.

My mental health went downhill after going through this although I had my own coping mechanisms and my own grieving ways. I believe grief and being sad is not really related to losing a person, it is the love you have for them that you cannot show or give to them anymore and you do not really have a space to place all of these emotions in.

I could not really say goodbye and it was so hard looking at him. I then had to go back home to do a final that I had that day, I chose not to postpone it. My dad passed away on the 4th of May 2021, but I still think that it happened yesterday. I believe that we never actually get over deaths, we just adapt to not having the person in our lives anymore. I think the pandemic made me grow even when it was too early to. I am wiser now, but I still have issues with all the loses I went through, I do not think it is as easy to get over the deaths of family members.

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The Pandemic Written by SARA ALSHEBLI

To be honest, when I first heard the word pandemic, it was not new to me at all. I had read about it before when I studied previous pandemics in history. But it never crossed my mind that I would witness one myself. When I read about a pandemic and saw the pictures, it was all history. I did not even try to imagine what it was like. Just like reading about the world war, it was something that I hoped would only be history, nothing else. But I was wrong. The news about corona started early in 2020, but it seemed far away, not related to my personal or day-to-day life. Until March, when things changed. I did not want it to be true, so I tried to go on with life, ignoring the news. I remember being out of town for a concert by one of my favorite artists, staying in a hotel with my sister, ignoring all the chaos outside.

But then, I could not. The news kept getting bigger, and the family was getting more concerned. Finally, I had to confront reality and go back home.

crocheted a penny hat, which I gifted to my father. He passed away a few months ago, and now all I have from him is the hat.

Even with all the in-house activities, it was not enough. I started to feel more and more suffocated. I still wanted to go out and enjoy the outside world like before. There was still part of me denying what is happening and how life had become. Masks and sanitizers were everywhere. This is a life that I do not accept. I tried one last time to resist the situation. I called my friend and decided to book a hotel on the beach. We found a hotel in Abu Dhabi and drove for an hour and a half. Taking with us all the things we need for the beach. We reached the hotel with our pool floats, sunglasses, and sunscreen. We were excited to live a small aspect of the freedom we had. The hotel was empty except for a few international guests. At the reception, we were told that the beach is closed. Even though the words were clear, and I understood them, I asked them again in disbelief. They offered us another room with a beach view. That is all that we can get of the beach (a view).

It was a lockdown everywhere. Life as we knew it vanished. All cafes and restaurants were closed, and we had to stay home. We could not leave the house at night, and we could only order food if we wanted, but again, our family was concerned. People were getting the virus, and it was serious. My sister is a doctor, and she could not see her children since she was facing death every day. There was darkness in the air, and I felt it. We tried to compensate. I would invite my best friend to my house, and we would play games. We are social creatures; we cannot live alone.

The pandemic taught us how life as we know it cannot be taken for granted. We learned to appreciate everything we have. No matter how small it is. I also learned that we humans are very adaptable creatures. At first, we try to resist change but with time we get used to everything. I remembered the books I read about the world war and about people who spent time in prison. I always wondered how they were able to live through such harsh circumstances. But I came to realize this, humans are strong.

I remember doing many things at home that I would not have done if not for the lockdown. I did a 1500-piece puzzle, and I do not think that I would have done it if I was not locked in the house. I tried to do it again another time, but I could not. I also learned crochet and

After accepting what is happening around me, I decided I want to be part of it. I decided to volunteer at one of the COVID screening centers.

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At that time, fear had left me. I was not afraid of the virus anymore. On the contrary, I wanted to challenge it, and be part of the force fighting it. I was done being passive and vulnerable. It was time for me to take a stand and so I did. Although I was still studying at the university and adapting to the new online learning methods, I gave my time to the community. And I am very happy I did.

There we sat, in a café, without masks in the middle of the pandemic. I know that the pandemic cost the world so much. We lost people, others suffered financially, and much more. But we came out of it. We made it through.

Now the pandemic is just a memory, we are celebrating at full capacity. National day celebrations are everywhere, and people are enjoying themselves to the fullest. The world cup is taking place and the stadiums are full of enthusiastic football fans cheering for their teams.

Life started to go back slowly but beautifully. I remember I was walking in the mall with my friend, we passed by a café, and they told us we can sit inside instead of ordering out. I could not believe it. I was so happy. They even offered us an envelope to put our masks in. separate envelopes of course.

Sara's crocheted penny hat gifted to her father

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Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Photo Credit Afreen Haneef

POEM TITLE

Hollow Heart Take a close look at the sky and let thy eyes wander, Just as the sun goes down and takes the light under And tomorrow, will it rise again and deliver us another hopeful light?

Or was it this day, the final day of faithful might?

For as darkness approaches, hope and cheer seem to fade, And wistful the land shall grow, when love and joyance no longer avail, And if all the stars come together to lift my abysmal gaze They shan’t be the light to fill the ever-gaping darkness thou hath left behind.

I pray the lord for only one wish, to look upon thy graceful face once more, It is thin forgiveness that I ask, for I never grasped the light thou hath bestowed.

How could I show thee where my deepest regrets lie?

If everything thou come’st across, even so my most dreadful thoughts, comes to life?

And yet here I lie, stranded, unaccompanied but by wraiths of broken souls, Will the day come, when thy swift light shall lift my spirit from the deepest roots of agony?

Or should I dwell in this unholy locus and ablaze my path through and out of this purgatory?

Written by Ali Abdul Aziz Al-Blooshi

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Painting Credit John Ruskin (1849) 'Cascade de la Folie, Chamonix'

POEM TITLE

Since You're Gone Since you’re gone, the road ahead only darkens, And the world has never composed such horror a discord, I keep walking this empty land, and my sword, I sharpen.

For what is to come, from the roots of evil is poured.

And the host of my wrath, from their pits shall be awoken!

A time of grim terror has come, and the shining light now only burns Through mire and shadow, I have walked, poisonous spells I have spoken!

And the sorrows my broken heart once held, my wicked mind now spurns.

And so, the battle for my salvation arises, for those demons shall not remain!

My sword, I fearlessly raise, for valor doesn’t meet with ultimate defeat, As valiantly as I fought, as steel shutters and blood splutters. I see it now, my own bane!

As I found no shield, since your wing has been my shelter. And your love, my retreat, And how is it that a soul survives a realm of unending cruelty without a shell?

As brave and steady as I thought I would be, without you, a soul can only find hell

Written by Ali Abdul Aziz Al-Blooshi

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Painting Credit Gainsborough Dupont (after 1771) 'Landscape'

Going Through Darkness to Become Insightful Written by SHAIMA ABDURRAHMAN ALMEKHLAFI

to test just in case, so he doesn't put anyone at risk. We were sitting together when a text message popped on his phone saying that he tested positive for COVID-19. The next three weeks after this text message were the hardest for me.

My father, mother, and 15-year-old sister had to be isolated as they all started showing symptoms of the virus. This meant that I suddenly became the caregiver for the whole family and my 6-year-old brother. I had to cook, clean, and disinfect the house every day, all while prepping for my internship interview and attending my classes. The shift of responsibilities at the time made me feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, scared, and restless.

The first days of the isolation were, as expected, very hard. But as days passed, I had something unexpected waiting for me. As a psychology student, I had knowledge regarding most psychological disorders. So, when I see someone around me having psychological symptoms, I usually know and try to help by referring them to someone professional. At the time, I did not realize that my family members, the isolated ones, were suffering psychologically. I felt utterly helpless because they could not leave their rooms and had to pass their isolation period.

A picture drawn by my depressed sister during the pandemic It was February 2020, and I was still attending university and doing my classes. Then all of a sudden, we were sent home for a two-week holiday. These two weeks have turned into years without us knowing what was going to happen. I remember this day as if it were yesterday. We were reading the news about COVID-19, and we were scared not knowing much about it as it was still being researched.

At the time of the lockdown, both of my older siblings were outside the country and couldn't make it back to UAE. Therefore, leaving me to be the eldest at home, bearing the responsibility of my younger siblings. My father started to feel symptoms one day, but we thought it was the regular flu. He decided

My father's sickness was getting severe, which had caused my mother to start having panic attacks. Whenever she thought about COVID19 or my father, she had a panic attack.

Every time she had a panic attack, I would hear her crying from the other side of the door. I would try to calm her down while keeping my younger brother away to avoid him feeling anxious and scared.

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On the other hand, the isolation took a toll on my younger sister's mental health, as she had started to get depression and anxiety symptoms. I was only able to notice that at the end of her isolation. But I didn't fully realize until after a month had passed and I saw some of her self-harm scars.

From a perspective of a psychology student, this was my first time witnessing mental illness symptoms outside of the textbook.

What I learned is that the signs can be very subtle and vague. My sister stopped listening to music and started to sleep more. This by itself didn't raise any red flags for me. In hindsight, had I looked at all the symptoms together, I would've been able to catch it before her self-harm started. This new perspective is something that changed the way I looked at mental illness symptoms. I now know what to look for besides what I learned from the textbook. Moreover, I attended therapy sessions with my sister and learned even more about recognizing and managing symptoms and triggers. I now know what I am lacking and what I need to do to be a better person and an even better therapist.

At the time, it felt like I was losing my family members, mainly because they had started to act differently, and it was scaring me. I wanted them to go out and see some friends and family, but the pandemic made that impossible. This was very difficult to see because I felt useless, and I was starting to blame myself at some point for being unable to help. I kept thinking, "wow, the irony of almost graduating as a psychologist and still being unable to help my family."

Time passed, and the restrictions were getting a bit flexible, so I started to reach out to some colleagues and friends I knew from the university. I told them my situation, and they were happy to help me, give me resources to help my family, and direct me to the right people. Thankfully, my sister started to get better as her doctors could control her symptoms. I slowly started to feel better and at ease seeing how we got the right help. As for my father, he developed PTSD symptoms after being sick with COVID-19. During his sickness, his symptoms got so severe that he thought he wouldn't make it out alive, especially with his age and being at risk more than the others.

Lastly, I learned that I need to put myself first to be able to help myself and others. I was sinking in my thoughts and feelings at the time that it had paralyzed me from doing anything. I taught myself how to cope with stressful situations. I appreciate that this experience allowed me to reflect and grow.

Not only as a person but also as an aspiring therapist who holds deep empathy towards her patients.

The pandemic has taught me more about mental health and how almost everyone was suffering mentally in one way or another. In addition, I learned how to ask for help when I needed to. I was the type to suffer alone and not let anyone know. Because of this experience, I learned that I didn't have to carry all my burdens alone and that it's okay to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness; if anything, it shows how brave I was to ask for it. I felt proud of myself for pulling through and carrying more responsibilities than I ever had to in my whole life. I came out of that darkness as a better and stronger person.

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Resurgence Written by AZHAR ABDULLA

I initially learned about the COVID-19 virus around the tail end of January 2020, to start.

Because I believed the scenario would be identical to that of any other virus, I didn't give it any attention. A lot of videos related to this virus has appeared where people would have seizures and fall unconscious suddenly and to be honest, at first, I thought it was some kind of conspiracy where the ‘big people’ would want to scare us commoners or it was some kind of capitalism tactics especially since the impact the virus had on the Chinese city of Wuhan received the most of the news attention. During this time, it was in February 2020, I had this art exhibition where I can show off my artwork and sell other things, I had set up my little corner with my paintings hanging on the walls and the tshirts I have made on the table.

started to send out emails regarding the coronavirus and to be more aware of our surroundings until march 2020, I only realized how serious it was when the numbers of people who got this virus in our country has increased and they needed to close the borders to stop this virus from spreading, our university then, started with the online learning method.

To begin, life during the online learning was like a treat I needed for having to go to university every day, it was the best thing I had ever experienced. Initially, it never occurred to me that we’d be staying at our homes for more than three weeks because what could a virus do to us in this modern life of technology and medicine? I have indeed underestimated this virus. During the online learning, the whole world went on a lockdown, we had 10-12 hours a day where we can function normally and go out doing our usual routines, but the next 12 hours was for the workers who would go on a cleaning and sanitizing spree on the streets, anyone who would be out during this time would face some kind of fine. Personally, I decided to use this time to work on my art and start a business where I could sell my handmade jewelry. I officially started my business during June of 2020. I have gained so much attention during this period of time, I felt ecstatic about it and I have gained a lot of support. Later on, I started to get overwhelmed by everything, I felt like I had a lot to carry on my shoulders from studying and from my business. My passion in making art has started to fade away. I never knew the reason behind my feelings, but I decided to work on understanding my emotions and work better for my mental health. I started seeing a psychologist and I got diagnosed with major depression. I always knew I had depression,

I have noticed that people started wearing masks and gloves and I have thought to myself how serious it could be? Our university has

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but I never realized how serious it was, could it be a side effect of the lockdown and staying cooped up in my room for more than 4 months? the lockdown period was a rollercoaster, I never realized how messy and sloppy it was up until we went back to function normally and going back to university. I never realized how it ruined my mental health even as an introvert. But on the brighter side, I have learned so much about myself and I have grown more into a more rational person.

After several months of this continuous lockdown, I started seeing my close family members and friends, I never knew I could miss them this much and it felt so good being able to connect with them again. Although some places were still closed and off limits, it was not an issue for me and my cousins, we had so much to talk about and get updates from each other on what happened to us during this lockdown. We talked about our schools, our activities, we even had our own therapy sessions which was indeed therapeutic. Me and my cousins decided to spend our weekends together playing card and board games and sometimes we would paint or color.

Life during the pandemic was so hectic but there is always good in bad.

It was announced that we would go back on campus in fall 2021, as much as I was excited to go back on campus and study well like how I used to, I was very scared, mostly of everything. I thought it would be easy to go back to university on campus like we weren’t on a whole lockdown for the past year and half. I had a lot of panic attacks during that time, and it took a toll on my mental health that I started questioning myself where it went wrong? But I did not want to go hard on myself as I am a very anxious person, and it is okay to feel like this especially after not being in contact with strangers for so long. I worked harder on that semester since it was on campus and it did pay off well, I got good marks and I was proud of myself after going through a lot of stuff emotionally and mentally. I decided to take a course off and focus more on myself and my mental wellbeing since that is the least, I could do for myself. I worked better on my mental health, and I decided to do a lot of things that I couldn’t do because of feeling overwhelmed like continuing my business and working hard on it.

The pandemic has taught me a lot of things about myself, I learned new ways of perceiving everything around me and everyone and I have definitely become more of a mature person. There is still a lot of things. That needs to be worked on or needs to be done, but I am more than proud of what I have become today and I will be even prouder in the future.

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The Evaporate of Talents Written by WADEEMA SHAMSAN

The coronavirus pandemic was a turning point in my life. Everything that happened was fast. I never thought I would feel this way. The amount of psychological pressure and physical stress was heavy on me. Therefore, let us go back to the first day when the state decided to issue a quarantine decision for all residents of the country, and that all educational facilities will be remotely via the Internet. This was the first decision, then the Emirate of Abu Dhabi issued a new decision that everyone must commit to sitting in homes from 8 pm until 6 am, so that the total sterilization of all areas in the emirate takes place. At the beginning of the situation, I liked the feeling of the change that occurred, that we would not have to get up in the morning to go to university, and that our life would be much easier and better. I read a lot of books in my spare time, wrote a lot of thoughts, and also painted a lot of paintings. I used to draw every feeling I felt, so I emptied my energy by doing the things that I always liked to do.

Until the situation got worse and boredom began to invade me. I hated drawing and I hated writing as well. But I didn’t give up, I gave myself a chance and told myself why you don’t draw what are you feeling. I set up my tools and started drawing what I really felt deeply. When I finished, I stood up in front of the canvas, and kept staring at the painting. The drawing was so dark, depressing, and lackadaisical. I hated how it looked and how it made me feel. It made my feelings worse. Afterwards, I collected all my painting tools (brushes, colors, canvases) and put them all in a box and kept them inside my drawer. Unit now I haven’t drawn anything and the thought of going back to do what I am good at is fading.

Whenever my friends and I start talking about what changed in our lives after the pandemic all I hear is good things and experiences. Therefore, I start comparing between what happened to me and what happened to them. I know that every person has his own experience, but sometimes you just start comparing.

Why did I take this seriously? Because the only thing that helped me natter what was inside me was writing and drawing. Regularly, I don't talk much to people about how I feel, thinking that no one cares and I don’t fully trust people to just open up to them. So, the thing that I used to use is gone now and I can’t tell no one about what I really feel or live.

The feeling started to devour me from within, and I felt depressed and anxious.

Nevertheless, 3 weeks ago I started going to the therapist to seek for help. I knew that this is the only solution that could actually work. He listened to everything I wanted to say and gave me a lot of solutions and ideas that may help me. The pandemic really was the era of extinguishing the candle of my talents, which I loved so much, but I’ll never stop I’ll continue going to my therapy sessions and I will try my best to go back to what I was before. Since the pandemic finished its time to go back to day one.

Writing about what happened to me and what I felt was a new experience for me. Also, showing my drawings to others is something I’m not used to. So, I think its time to just let it go and move on.

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d to draw e s u I s g in t in a P emic before the pand

My last painting

Work in Progress Written by HAMDA ABDULLA ALSHEHHI

The COVID-19 pandemic has affected many lives. During a short period of time, we had to stop living our lives, stop our regular routines and adapt to the drastic change of the new normal.

During this time, a lot of people lost their jobs, stability, and security. Reported cases of the coronavirus reached 646,285,994 and 6,636,758 death (Coronavirus cases, n.d.)

I still remember the day that my friend told me about a video she saw that talked about an infectious virus spreading in China. It was the spring of 2020. I had just started my second semester in my third year of studying psychology at UAEU. At the time, I didn’t give it much consideration and we continued with our lives thinking nothing of it. Until a few weeks later. 3rd of March 2020 was the day everything changed. The news had spread that the virus had reached our country and that we had to quarantine. I was sitting with my friends waiting for an official announcement from our university. The university then sent a generated email stating that future lectures would be conducted online. On the 4th of March, we packed our belongings to go back home thinking we would only be quarantining for two weeks and then coming back to the university campus and our regular routines. But I was wrong. Because that day was the last I saw some of my friends for two years.

The two pictures below comically describe the last interaction between me and my best friend before the Covid-19 lockdown where we thought it was only going to be a short break and didn’t say a proper goodbye. That short break turned into two years. Fortunately, we reunited after the two years, and we are still best friends.

2 years later See you next week!

I still get chills thinking about that time and how clueless I was. How something that I thought nothing of, turned into a huge life-threatening situation that affected our lives and is still affecting our lives now. How I thought that everything would be normal and that I will return to campus with my friends and continue enjoying my university years. Two weeks turned into two years.

Many things changed during these years. Although life was continuing, I felt like something stopped at that time. A part of me is still stuck at that time. During the early months of the pandemic, I was experiencing many anxiety attacks. I feared the uncertainty of the situation.

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I was scared that I would get infected and spread it to other people. I would get stressed and anxious. I had bad dreams where I did get infected and woke up with anxiety. This was during the time when the whole world didn’t know how dangerous the virus was. if there was going to be a cure. How long it would last. And what damage it could cause. I was very worried, sad, and heartbroken that I wouldn’t be able to see my friends and live “the fun” university life. People say those years are the most important and you should make the most of them. The joy of waking up to my friend. The joy of having breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. Going to class together.

Seeing my friends after class. Hanging out together. Cooking together. Crying and venting to each other. I felt like that was taken away from me. I extremely valued those moments and that’s why I felt sad that I wouldn’t be able to experience those moments again.

Furthermore, I learned tremendously during that time. I developed deeply as a person. I feel like although some experiences were taken away from me, I truly needed that time to myself. To heal from my trauma and past experiences. To reflect on myself. To work on myself. To recognize issues that needed to be resolved. To take care of myself. To breathe. I wouldn’t have been the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through what I did. Sometimes we get caught up with life and we forget to stop and take a moment for ourselves. We try to help other people but we forget that we also need help. I learned to value social relationships. To not take the time I spend with my loved ones for granted. To spend each moment with love and happiness. To try to be a better version of myself every day. To not compare myself with others but to compare present me with past me. To chase after my dreams even if the future seemed uncertain.

As an aspiring clinical psychologist, I learned that everyone could suffer during uncertain times.

That everyone needs support. And it’s okay to ask for help. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our negative feelings and emotions. We should accept our emotions in order for us to heal and learn.

I realized that mental health professionals could also suffer from mental health issues. We should try and help ourselves before helping others. I realized that as human beings, we value intimate, social relationships. And when it gets taken away from us, we suffer. I realized the importance of our job. During the pandemic, many mental health institutions were not accepting new clients. People seeking mental health support have had to wait for weeks and months to get an appointment. We should consider the importance of providing mental health resources during hard times. In addition to examining future plans for similar situations.

In the end. I believe everything happens for a reason. Instead of focusing on the bad, I focused on the good things that happened as result. And there are many good things. Things I thought were hard, I achieved today. Things I dreamed of doing, I did today. Things I wanted to change in myself, I did. Working on ourselves takes time and effort. It doesn’t happen overnight. And it never ends. It’s a process. And that’s what I am doing. I am still improving, learning, and working on myself. Step by step. I am a work in progress.

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The Pandemic Influence on Myself Written by MARIAM ALJASMI

Every one of us has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. Depending on our situation as individuals, the pandemic's effects and outcomes are experienced in different ways. While some people try to adjust to working online, homeschooling their kids, and using Online ordering to get groceries, others are forced to be exposed to the virus in order to maintain society. Our experiences influenced our mental health. In this essay I will be sharing how the Pandemic affecting me.

I was concerned about how I would handle staying at home without having any social interactions with my friends, classmates, or even my siblings since they didn't live with us during the Pandemic. I was initially in a really depressed state because I used to get rid of my boredom by going out and trying new things with the people I care about. But I realized is that I do not know myself very well. It was really challenging to understand why and how I do not know myself. I came to the conclusion that I never had time just for myself because other people were always put before me.

Many people are unaware of this but accepting who you are is the first step in loving yourself. If you don't know someone, how can you love them? is equivalent to liking oneself. Before the Pandemic, my concept of loving oneself was to eat healthily, exercise, drink plenty of water, and take care of your physical needs. Although it is true that your bodily health is vital, loving your soul does not result from this. Despite doing everything above, someone can still despise themselves.

Spending time with oneself is the first step in learning to love yourself. To better understand oneself, talk to yourself. Self-therapy is a good idea. To get to know someone better, start by sking yourself the same questions you would ask a friend. In front of a mirror, contemplate yourself. It may sound strange, but it worked for me. Not only will it help you better understand yourself, but it will also enable you to cure your soul, mind, or other aspects of your inner self.

To go forward and improve, I had to realize that the past no longer existed. I regret a lot of things that happened during the process of getting to know myself and made me loathe myself. The past is beyond my control, but I can shape a better future for myself. I had to be kind to myself and take responsibility for my errors. Everyone makes errors, but you only remember your own; you don't remember other people's. So, I apologized to myself in order to let the past go. I began practicing self-gratitude by forgiving myself. I am grateful for the everyday conveniences in my life. It also made it simpler for me to heal on the inside. I improved as a result of working on all of these. One major lesson I learned is that the idea of "loving yourself" is unrealistic. It assisted in my improvement.

By acting as my own therapist, the Pandemic assisted me in recovering my mental health. I devote my entire Pandemic period to myself. I gained knowledge on how to comprehend myself and become a better version of myself. It gave me the chance to learn more about my own major, psychology, which is related to mental health and involves restoring your inner self. Many people consider the Pandemic to be a curse, but I view it as a great opportunity to get to know you. My

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‫متشکرم‬

Being Grateful Written by NAWAL MUBARAK

How does Pandemic change your life?

The Pandemic hit us in 2020 letting every person as character wonder on his/her story by walking through different events, experience and incidents that changed him/her to the better or at least made an individual appreciate and be grateful for the life and it surroundings and here I am sharing mine.

In my story, the changes that began in 2020 were education shifting to online through Blackboard, communication also going online through video calls with friends and family in India on Zoom, and wearing masks, gloves, and carrying sanitizer becoming the new fashion. The comeback of old games like carom board, Ludo, and UNO became a new trend as pandemic games. Books became my new friends, and making funny TikTok videos became a way to kill boredom. I even developed the patience to tolerate the harsh nurses during PCR tests. My family bid farewell to our childhood maid by organizing an emotional party that included tears and hugs, rather than just cakes and flowers. With her departure, household chores responsibility fell on our shoulders again. I detoxed from social media for a while to refresh my mind. My friends and I were quarantined in the hostel due to one girl in the building, so I had to painfully witness my family celebrations on Snapchat. This included my father dancing, my sister-in-law cutting the cake at her baby shower, and my nephew celebrating his return from national duty. My passion for photography increased, and weddings moved into homes to reduce the cost of wedding halls. Guests were shortlisted, and my brother Sultan got married at his wife's house in Al Ain while my nephew got married at his father's house. I appreciated nature, the existence of karak, and found a new hobby in painting.

By the new year of 2021, I received a warning which led me to leave my previous major in cellular and molecular biology and pursue my passion in English literature. This caused my mother not to speak to me for a week. Then, my parents were quarantined in the hospital during Ramadan, which felt like the shine of the house had dimmed. I watched "Hum Saath Saath Hai" and became emotional. I received a random interview call from the geology department, which was super motivational.

I threw a color party with that theme and participated in breaking my introverted self at the MIT Bootcamp with Team Fikra. We had online and face-to-face meetings, completed modules, did interviews, shot pitches, and presented our final presentations.

What I have learned from the pandemic and the previous years is that family, especially parents, matter. My participation in the challenge made me realize that work can be done from anywhere.

My quarantine in the hostel led me to know that thoughts hurt more than loneliness.

Surrounding myself with green nature made me live larger. Following my passion made me realize that unplanned changes lead to creativity. Seeing my father watching the news gave me an understanding of the importance of data. Teaching online made me appreciate invaluable skills. The importance of science through the efforts of scientists, combined with the news of death, made me realize the importance of time, caring for others, and staying connected.

Maintaining hygiene to stay safe and appreciating solitude.

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Photo Credit Areej Khalil

Photo Credit Areej Khalil

Servant to The Most Gracious Written by Sultan Alnahal

What a feeling at a moment’s sudden Death swept you but left our minds running A lot to handle at the door of my heart where it’s flooded Strength wept at the weight of it all trying to keep the beloved Heard of all the cases beforehand never thought we’d be one Learned of all the faces trying to understand what god has done Blurred vision to a wall of people asking for the tears of his son Deterred the collision of falling trying to stand up to what has begun Dear Father, grievance falls heavy on these words it’s an infection Grievance calls for my heart to be weakened at the loss of a father’s protection We once had smiles and hugs and love that built mountains on its collection Rejection of my reality is thrown to the side as I do some self-reflection A reaction is desired, but we were raised with strength so no tears in detection The directions are unknown at the moment trying to fill the missing connection The connection that carried my words proud when I spoke your name in every direction Affection was rare between us so when it happened it was impactful in its disconnection Right out of our reality of toxic masculinity to be left with the fatherly love beyond objection Dear Father, your legacy doesn’t end at a Covid grave your name carries persistence For more is to come after the tears have dropped from the lack of closure and the distance The existence of your mistakes appears around me but is overtaken by the act of change, the difference Admittance to the fact that your coexistence changed hearts, it can be seen in their reminiscence Remembering the memories of holding your hand as a child knowing that’s subsistence the last thing seen was your family smiling for your recovery carrying my perseverance It’s the reason your brothers and sisters cry while I hold them with a calm appearance Then again, you raised us like that, the reliance of no one as we held fearless I reach out to the dearest my father, in that, you were the nearest I've been feeling pain trying to utter your name in the midst of this fire that flutters Trying to get closer to you I lied and said there was more time but what have I suffered I’ve been scratching insane over this situation I forgot to say I love you why did I stutter?

Trying to rip this unwanted flesh my body is unneeded in this world that is filled with clutter fall on your mercy, God lessen the fractures on this family our rooms are starting to cluster worry so my tears are spiritual trying to clean the dirt off his grave why won’t they stop mother?

I am worthy of carrying his honor, but I can’t see myself anymore what’s there to discover? am I really worthy of what’s to come creeping over, comforting what’s weaker as I grow tougher

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Dear Father, distance was your closest friend when it came to your children that you loved most instances of your presence are felt seeping around souls among the memory of love that's too close this once let me feel his hand as I reach the door, he stood by rather than having the memories afloat mama weeps over the loss of a loved one asking to see you one last time but my memory’s a ghost mama keeps all you gave her trying to remember all the love you gave but God is sure of what he wrote doors creak waiting on you to arrive home hoping you aren't alone father being far from where I hoped Dad jokes built pillars to hold a house to the standard of a home made out of laughter had hopes to lay breeze on your stress seeing your son carry on the family to the next chapter added hopes to see you recover smiling to our hero I said “worry not father you will be with us after” “The faster you recover the faster you arrive to the home you’ve built”, words that fracture and scatter believing in your recovery, never thought you would leave us suddenly off this earth to the hereafter I believed in your strength but in the end my belief in you could not hold you nor did it matter if only I knew I would've never let go of your hand never to leave that room my emotions are a disaster Life's now too fast for me to watch over it caring and it only seems to grow into my heart faster Gasping air but the lungs love water drowning the mind as it bleeds deeply Clasping onto the family care but the fangs feed on the suicidal thoughts briefly rasping through crackled voices to control emotions before knifes deepen old wounds routinely completely fasting from happiness trying to find dedication in my time but it’s been blasting freely screaming free me, release me from wills, from this unseemly marital compared to his life it’s measly redeem me from myself, no will fighting for a will rather I fight for the sweat that was strenuous really present yourself during hard times, for you it’s free money, for us it’s his accomplishments please see I’ve been getting colder and finding more peace, then I lie and go back to breaking into a cracked piece “thrive” is all I can think of nowadays as I learn of the world and how to deal with surprises as they reach now everyone wants to sit and teach me how to handle pain, how to carry a name, how to believe rush into the enormous emotion of grief while you cleave into our process of learning how to grieve “alive“ is an adjective I wish I see more as I vent out my actions to a paper that can’t seem to conceive Baba, taking care of our family in the hospital is a task itself demanding making sure we grieved Baba, rest assured your son will pick up all that is left where you left of, I will not stay aggrieved Expressed and endured, worry not father we’ve matured but maturing isn't enough to what has heaved Reassured that god reaped you away peacefully from all your complications collectively received No more heart attacks or medications consumed father, these eyes have not witnessed the perceived Relieved father that you can do as you desire with no worries because of all you have achieved Strength, focus, and will power were cultivated within me however there is something missing I need

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However it is, Baba I can’t let go of that dark night swallowed in pain at your grave My mind has yielded all its thoughts to the dirt that covered you it feels like I’ll cave Karma paves ways I can’t imagine hoping so I hold my head high trying to be brave But bravery with no fear is lack of it hence I am lost as to how to behave Shave the pieces off slowly than a philosophy rooted turning me a slave A slave to path the way into the idea that bravery is used to face monstrous waves Acceptance of the fact that I was dealing with oceans too calm for my liking has waived Stave into the dirt with the shovel, I refused to stop, refused to catch my breath, or lave Seeing the difference, over 20 men at your grave father Honor in your death and I look to the other grave bothered While we bury you proper only one man to grieve on her I reflect on the scholar lost, to the mystery women no one got her Then I look up and see a wave of graves that seem to go further Covid is a killer, and it leaves a scar too bitter for me to call it a robber And just as I learn all the “hows” of the same life throwing sharper news losing my sense of hearing Hand to nothing but a steering wheel speeding to a present moving too swift to be visibly appearing Understand when a car speeds not caring for a single radar then it seems to be a situation reappearing Dear grandfather, grievance falls heavy on these words, I am starting to forget any feeling....

“Baba why do you always have to take pictures at the most random of times?”

“Tomorrow, you will thank me and remember these moments”

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POEM TITLE

I Am Blessed I am blessed to live in a peaceful country, Where the beauty is within, a good place that will make you believe in the goodness of people, all the love I see and experience every day; I’ll never get tired of it, I have been raised in a culture where everyone is mutually honest and trustworthy towards each other, The essence of the Emirati laws and culture are obeyed and protected to this time and age, Look at the history of the country; it’s like a red rose grew on ice frozen ground, Many people are very thankful to be born Emirati and live a life of dignity, Prayers that this country remains blessed; it’s what the country deservers, I believe that the leaders of the country work very hard to keep it that way, This race deserves love and respect, Nothing but praise for its accomplishments.

Written by Areej Khalil

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Photo Credit Areej Khalil

Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Photo Credit Afreen Haneef

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

New Reality Written by HALIMA ALMAQBALI

What happened during the pandemic affected the whole world. Maram is a university student, she used to enjoy going to university to see her friends and eat together during her breaks.

Sometimes when she has a lot of free time at university, she used to look for an empty class so she can sit there and watch something on her laptop. At the beginning of the pandemic, her classes become online which she enjoyed the first time but then she felt like she need more action in her life because when the pandemic happened most of the world countries has a lookdown to stop the virus from spreading. After the seamster ended she wanted something to add spice to her life.

The first thing she did was start reading Agatha Christie’s books and her first book was the big four, after reading this book she started to read more of Agatha Christie’s books but after reading about ten books she felt like “No I need more than reading novels”. One day she was looking at some pictures on one of the social media apps, and she saw something with a lot of lights and colors, it was a gaming setup, when she was younger, she loved playing video games but she was focused on her studying that’s why she did not think about gaming when she was young. But now she has a lot of free time and she cannot leave the house because of the lookdown so she told herself that now I can buy herself a PC and do something in her free time. Before buying herself a PC she used to watch videos about how to assemble computers, every time she sees new videos, she gets an idea of how she wanted her gaming setup to look. After a few months, she bought herself a gaming PC. She had one problem, every time she watches someone on YouTube that plays something they always have someone to play with them, they have their friends.

Maram tried to convince her best friend but her best friend was always like “I am not interested in gaming”. Maram starts her gaming journey alone. She felt lonely at the begging of her journey because she was not a social person, she is so shy and when she plays some games people do not play with her because she does not speak to them. Maram felt like “Why did I get a gaming computer when I do not have someone to play with”. These feelings made her feel so sad. But she said to herself “It is virtual reality, why feel sad?”

Even though she did not have friends to play with her, she loved playing and trying new games.

After a few days and weeks, she met one girl in a game that she used to play every day the girl named Mariam. Mariam was so a social girl and a lot of people knew her. She was so kind, Maram told herself “No way she will notice me”. She got her bad feeling back.

During this time, she sat silently in front of the mirror for a minute, contemplating what she had studied when she first began studying psychology. "This is not my actual life, it is just a new virtual world, and of course, my friends adore me, so I should think positively about it," she reminded herself. She learned how to separate her feelings after having this talk with herself.

One day she started playing the game that Mariam plays. She and Mariam had a conversation Mariam was asking her if she plays other games than the one that always plays. Maram was like “Yes of course I play a lot of games most of them are horror games”. What made Mariam happy was that Maram loves horror games, because Mariam loves horror games but her friends do not play with her because they feel scared.

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On a daily base, Mariam was always texting Maram so they played together, they used to play every day and they always try new games together. Mariam introduced her friends to Maram and then she knew a lot of people she can play with anytime. What makes the story even more beautiful is that Mariam and Maram became best friends. While this action happens, Maram also was taking online university classes, she had a psychology project and she needed 200 people to fill out a survey she asked Mariam for help because as we know Mariam has a lot of friends so she sent everyone she knew the survey to fill it and also, they send it to their relatives. After a few days, Maram got all the 200 participants which made her happy she said “Even virtual reality can help me with my studies.”

The pandemic began three years ago and her classes are now taking place on campus, so she is extremely busy, but she still keeps in touch with her friends, and on weekends, she plays with them, and she plans on visiting her best friend, as they both live in different countries. She still plans on visiting her friends in the future. She can’t wait to graduate and her friend Mariam finally. Maram and Mariam know each other for only a few months but they feel like they knew each other for many years.

She found her soulmate in the new reality.

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Fruiting Fruit Starts from the Roots Written by WAFA FAISAL ALBREIKI

Arm bells rang, everyone watched the news with caution, the streets were empty, and the houses were noisy. Tangible life has been transformed into virtual reality, we love through screens, express ourselves through chats, and live a full life using the phone. The distances became long, the bodies separated, and confidence decreased until we were afraid to put our hands on the table without thinking about who touched it before us. Fear has become the most dominant feeling, and caution is the most common behavior. And the hopelessness began to tighten its grip on us, and as the days passed, dreams diminished, and we began to think that we would perpetuate in this state tomorrow will never be better than yesterday and today is another face of the past days. No need to remember the date no differences between the days. But what if we look at this disaster from another side and turn the picture around? Let us see the light in the night, the candle in the murk.

We were all running through life chasing bread and dreams. There is no time to laugh without reprimanding that time is being wasted. There is no time for the family and its warmth, there is no way to stop to smell the rose that we pass by every day. Before Corona, we became like robots, repeating the same distances every day, far away from those we love, even if we were physically close and much away from ourselves. What if the Covid is the forced stopping of the universe to remind us that we must stop running outside for a while and look inside.

I used to think that this was my forte, but when Corona came, I discovered that all those years I had been running after everything, pleasing anyone, and building coherent relationships with everyone except myself. I began to feel my lack of existence. The physical studies stopped, so I did not know who I am without participating in the classes and without the teachers’ compliments to me that I used to feed on. I am a person who prefers a realistic presence with friends, and at that time I was one of the few people of my generation who did not use the phone much.

With Corona, most of my friendships have been lost. And judging by the fact that I was feeding my soul from the outside with the presence of friends and outside support, I began to feel as if my soul was starving, and I was the helpless mother who had no milk to breastfeed her child with. At the time, I felt that there was something wrong with my life path and the way I fed myself and that all I had been doing these years was fleeing to the outside from facing the inside.

At that time, I decided with all my courage to take my hand and be a faithful friend, sister, and supporter to myself and I realized with time that the nourishment of the soul begins from the inside. Otherwise, it is all fleeting bubbles that do not sing of hunger. So, I started my journey inwards at a time when I could do nothing but sit with myself in the first place. I started reading about the topics of self-acceptance, and I remember that the first book I read in this regard was letting go

by David Hawkins, and it was one of the most wonderful books that changed me, and I still return to it to this day. This book taught me how the manifestation will not come unless we abandon the burdens of the past that we carry on our backs.

I am Wafaa. I was 19 years old at the time, an ambitious young woman who excelled as I thought. There is no place for the word impossible in my dictionary.

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I started by setting a morning routine that makes me start my day with positive feelings, the routine consisted of meditation for 10 minutes, and I gradually increased the duration until it became 25 minutes, and then I journaled, and I used to empty all the feelings and thoughts that I feel at the moment without classification or judgment on these thoughts. It glides over the paper and then I walk outside concentrating on my breathing. From here, my day begins by writing the tasks that I must do, and I used to adopt the method for the tasks to be divided into three sections, tasks that benefit me professionally or academically, tasks that develop my skills, and tasks that improve my mood.

Things are difficult to implement at the beginning, and there was resistance and a great emotional outburst as if I was stepping back instead of moving forward, but I was reminding myself that change takes time and that the brain gets used to the usual, he doesn't know what is useful for me, so just keep changing and with time the fruit will grow from the root. My spiritual flexibility increased with time and things seemed easier.

I started to get to know myself as if I was a new person, listening to myself and her thoughts, sorting and differentiating between the inner voices, as if it was an entertaining game every day, I woke up ready for a new challenge in my journey with myself.

Painting by Fakherah AlShamsi And the success of a person is not measured by the number of certificates that he obtained, but rather by the pleasure of the path that he took to reach this success, and that the pleasure of the journey is sometimes more beautiful than the moment of arrival, and to shine you have to start from inside.

I came out of this experience laden with spiritual experiences, ready to face the outside and reconciled with the inside. This taught me a lesson that it is always good in everything that appears to us to be evil, and that stopping the outside may be a message to look inside.

And the essence of a good life is depending on how we feel not what we have in our hands.

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Taste of the Death: Complex Bereavement Disorder Written by ARWA AWAD ALSEYABI

Key words: Grief, Psychosis, Loss, Pandemic Abstract During the pandemic most of us lost something. Some of us lost the contact of the real world. Others lost a sense of themselves.

And some of us lost the privilege to enjoy life itself. Due to loss of someone they adore and cherish. Losing a loved one can be consuming and destructive to the soul. and it could be even more devastating and complicated. If the person suffers from a psychotic disorder. A small percentage of people (7%–20%) experience acute sadness that lasts for a long time and causes problems with adjusting and reengaging in life. (Carmassi, 2013).And that’s why my personal essay will be about complex bereavement disorder. For those parents who lost a child.

Introduction What comes to your mind if someone mention the pandemic? covid, corona, and vaccine. typical words related to the pandemic that we all may or may not have been traumatized by.

However, some of us saw pain. Pure pain embodied within death of their beloved ones.

Believe me experiencing death can be tragic.

You never survive in one piece there is always something missing in you. Then comes the biggest challenge. Life didn’t stop because of your pain. You still must show up for school or work. You still must move on and carry on with your life hanging the pain around your neck.

Truly, sincerely waiting for a moment of relive.

However, some people their life stopped and changed because they can bear the though of losing who is dead. And that’s when they show psychosis features. To all people who have lost someone. And especially to the parents who

have lost a child and. No words can describe your pain. My only consolation is like life takes, it gives.

What is psychosis?

According to the Early Psychosis Prevention and Intervention Centre, psychoses are a category of diseases in which one has a mistaken perception of reality. (Perera, 2003) Certain symptoms, such as changes in perception (hallucinations), changes in belief and how one views the world (delusions), and abnormal speech patterns (thought disorder), are diagnostic of psychoses. The sensations mentioned above are referred to as "positive" symptoms since they "add" something to a person's perception of the outside world.

Because they "take something away" from a person's talents, "negative" symptoms are so termed. Loss of interest and motivation, whereby every necessary task becomes an effort, are some common unpleasant symptoms that those afflicted describe. They go on to describe the challenge of everything moving at a much slower pace.

What is complex bereavement disorder?

Through a Clinical case On the birthday of her son, who had passed away 18 months previously, the patient, a 52year-old mother, was admitted to the clinic's inpatient unit. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR) criteria, she was identified as having a manic episode with psychotic symptoms, and she received the appropriate treatment.

She attempted suicide three months after being released, at which point she was readmitted and reevaluated. She finished the

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Inventory of Complicated Grief (ICG), MoodSpectrum Rating Scale (MOODS-SR), and Trauma and Loss Spectrum questionnaires during this admission (TALS-SR). She supported signs of deep longing for her son, feelings of shock and disbelief, resentment and anger over his passing, isolation from others, auditory, tactile, and visual symptoms. intense emotional sensitivity to memories of her son, as well as physical and visual hallucinations of the departed. These symptoms were longlasting and intense enough to qualify as complicated mourning symptoms. While difficult grieving seemed to be the patient's main diagnosis, her treatment fell short when she was given a diagnosis based only on DSMIV-TR criteria.

Psychologists to be point of view As a person who majored in psychology. I always observe the environment and how people seem to engage in that environment.

Constantly thinking about the person behavior and the psychology behind it. During the pandemic I witness some of the relative deaths. In which some of them lost their child.

And experienced symptoms of psychosis. from that experience I wrote a story reflecting my experience. The story is completely from my imagination. Consider it as a metaphor reflecting death caused by the Covid.

References Perera, K. (2003). An investigation of the relationship between intensity of grief and coping patterns of parents of individuals affected by psychotic disorders (Doctoral dissertation, Curtin University).

Its worth mentioning that Chronic complicated bereavement disorder is another name for extended grief disorder. It differs from other psychopathological responses to loss, such as major depressive disorder (MDD) and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).In contrast to acute sorrow, which progressively lessens as the reality and effects of the loss are fully realized and daily life is redefined without the loved one who has passed away, complicated grief is a more complex emotion.

Carmassi, C., Shear, M. K., Socci, C., Corsi, M., DELL’OSSO, L. I. L. I. A. N. A., & First, M. B. (2013). Complicated grief and manic comorbidity in the aftermath of the loss of a son. Journal of Psychiatric Practice®, 19(5), 419-428.

The existence of psychotic symptoms involving hallucinations/illusions concerning the lost, such as hearing the voice, feeling the touch, or seeing the image of the person, are not regarded signs of psychosis in the clinical picture of difficult grief. There is evidence that some bereaved people describe these experiences as temporary expressions of normal grieving.

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Voluntary Acceptance of Depressive Reality as a Way to Survive Written by AYESHA MOHAMED SALEM-ALMARRI

The excessive social activity requires large energy costs to communicate with many people, leading to emotional exhaustion.

However, total self-isolation contradicts people’s social nature, requiring the interchange of feelings, impressions and sensations with other individuals. The COVID19 pandemic deprived people of the opportunity to attend social events, travel and communicate with friends offline. Such quarantine measures performed the role of the only way to stop the rapid spread of the disease worldwide. Self-isolation to avoid contracting COVID-19 led to a voluntary acceptance of depressive reality as a way to survive without the usual daily routine, communication with friends, team leisure, travel and offline work meetings.

Illustration by Olivia Green iStockphoto.com

The COVID-19 pandemic turned into an unexpected catastrophe for all humanity by forcing people to change their habits, preferences and life values. Immediately after the start of the rapid spread of the virus, individuals experienced the growing death rate from the disease and the shock of their powerlessness. The desire to stock up on masks and antiseptics was the only goal for many individuals. I was no exception to this trend. Depressed morale alternating with panic attacks turned into a permanent state.

Life during a pandemic involved total selfisolation marked by a lingering fear of infection and death from disease (Jassim et al., 2021). The absence of positive emotions and mental tension made me irritable and angry. I did not have the opportunity to see my relatives and friends to get moral support. This situation led to the voluntary acceptance of depressive reality. The regime of total selfisolation turned my apartment into a “high security prison” (see fig.1).

Fig.1 Self-isolation as a “high security prison” Hope for a speedy end to the pandemic became the only purpose of existence. From time to time, I felt gratitude for avoiding the virus.

However, hopelessness and despair came to replace any positive emotions. The lack of live communication with people showed the main disadvantage of virtual reality (Ubara et al., 2020). It did not replace the desire to participate in offline meetings with friends and business workshops with colleagues in the office. The COVID- 19 pandemic forced me to see a psychotherapist to save my mental health. Zoom conferences with friends and colleagues became the only way to maintain relationships. At the same time, they did not bring moral satisfaction due to a lack of emotional exchange.

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For more than two years of the pandemic, quarantine restrictions showed certain changes, including mitigation, and tightening preventive measures. Periods of the partial lifting of restrictions associated with selfisolation caused euphoria marked by the hope of returning to normal life. I made every effort to relocate for at least a few days to get new emotions and communicate with friends. The tightening of quarantine measures after their minimization caused severe attacks of depression (Ubara et al., 2020). The protracted duration of the pandemic created a sense of its infinity. The constant expectation of the end of the self-isolation regime and other preventive measures led to disappointment.

Such mood swings had a destructive effect on the psyche by causing a total feeling of apathy.

This type of mental problems can cause suicidal tendencies.

of books and take online refresher courses during the COVID-19 pandemic. The new knowledge allowed me to get the desired promotion at work and to decide to continue my education. I continued communicating with the colleagues on Zoom by saving time needed to get to the office. Comfortable home pajamas seemed more attractive than formal wear and abayas. I enjoyed my favorite breakfasts without skipping them due to the early start of the working day.

Throughout the entire period of the pandemic, I imagined the day it would end. I expected an incredible surge of positive emotions caused by the absence of the need to observe the selfisolation regime and wear a mask. However, life after the pandemic also brought a lot of stress. I lost a lot of communication skills in two years of the pandemic, expressing fear and unwillingness to socialize. Long-term selfisolation taught me to feel comfortable being alone. In this case, even a small crowd of people next to me in public after lifting strict quarantine measures became a way out of my comfort zone (Jassim et al., 2021). I did not experience such emotions before the start of the pandemic. My psyche adapted to a new reality without offline interaction with people.

I became shyer yet blunt and unfiltered in the statements and actions. Before quarantine, I felt comfortable even in a new company, enjoying communicating with unknown people with complete properness and boundaries.

The protracted period of self-isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic provoked only negative emotions by making me irritable and vulnerable. My body stopped producing endorphins in enough amount for a positive mental attitude. I began to compensate for their lack by eating junk food or not putting any effort in clean eating. I did not have the opportunity to play sports in the gym even in my building or at my family’s garden, and even the park since they stopped working. At first, I resisted accepting the situation with the prolonged need to follow the rules of selfisolation. However, I began to show a voluntary desire to spend more time at home after the end of one year of self-isolation. Even the minimization of quarantine measures ceased to be a reason to refuse delivery services for food and other products. This behavior became a guarantee of avoiding infection and the negative consequences of the disease.

The post-COVID period became even more difficult than the process of adaptation to total restrictions by confirming the unique ability of the human psyche to accept any living conditions as a way to survive. Returning to social activity requires the efforts and help of a psychotherapist. I make every effort to abandon total loneliness.

Quarantine restrictions during a pandemic emphasized invaluable personal interaction with people and offline communication with colleagues. I want to make a long journey as a source of only positive emotions from a change of familiar surroundings. I will invite my friends to share positive emotions with me.

The total restrictions associated with the inability to communicate with people offline led to the activation of adaptive mechanisms of the psyche. I had no opportunity to change the situation. Consequently, I tried to develop a more loyal attitude towards it by making every effort to look for positive aspects of quarantine restrictions. I managed to read a lot

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The COVID-19 pandemic allowed people to overestimate the importance of ordinary things. The self-isolation regime increased the value of offline interaction with other individuals. I began to appreciate the ability to travel, attend concerts and meet friends even more. Self-isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic showed the hidden properties of the psyche marked by getting depressed from total loneliness and adapting even to negative life scenarios. My life will never be the same again.

The end of the pandemic has made life with elementary benefits more valuable by teaching me to form a positive perception of negative events to maintain mental health.

References Jassim, G., Jameel, M., Brennan, E., Yusuf, M. A., Hasan, N., & Alwatani, Y. (2021).

Psychological impact of Covid-19, isolation, and quarantine: A cross-sectional study.

Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, Volume 17, 1413-1421.

Ubara, A., Sumi, Y., Ito, K., Matsuda, A., Matsuo, M., Miyamoto, T., & Kadotani, H. (2020). Self-isolation due to Covid-19 is linked to small one-year changes in depression, sleepiness, and insomnia: Results from a clinic for sleep disorders in Shiga Prefecture, Japan.

International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(23), 8971.

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Life During & Beyond the Pandemic Written by MAYA ALRIMAWI

I was a bright and inquisitive person with a sunny personality. I was very bubbly and loved human connection. I always considered myself an extrovert, I thrived on hanging out with friends and going to parties.

That changed when the COVID-19 lockdown hit.

My personality completely changed once we were forced into isolation. Taking away what I thrived on made me really confused, and slowly everything about me changed.

Being isolated made me realize that not everybody is who they say they are. Many of my ‘friends’ have shown their true colors and abandoned me. I have never felt lonelier, I have never felt as depressed as I was during the height of the pandemic.

I lost all my self-confidence, I lost interest in the things I like, I stopped finding a reason to wake up in the morning and start my day, I lost my friends— and most of all— I lost myself.

No more was that sweet, sunny, bright girl I was. I feel like my entire identity had changed; I was going through an extreme identity crisis. I didn’t know who I was, and it made me think; was my personality fake? A facade for other people… just so they could like me? Had I completely made up an entire personality just to please others?

As you could imagine, that very thought sent me into multiple spirals and my mental health steadily deteriorated in isolation; especially since nobody could help me, I had nobody to talk to about this. I just locked it all inside me. I felt so incredibly lonely, I would hide away in my bedroom and silently cry into the empty air.

A lot of the time being locked up at home, I would lay my head on my mother’s lap in our living room and let my big, fat tears stream down my cheeks, wondering why I’m even here. I felt like if people don’t like me, then I’ve lost all meaning in life.

Losing people I cared about most— and not only talking about being abandoned by friends, but losing people from death— was extremely difficult for me to process, especially with what was going on.

One day, though, there was something like a switch. I completely changed my mentality; if we’re going to be stuck in our homes for God knows how long, why not make the most of it?

I’ve had a lot of time to grieve, to mourn the people I’ve lost to this illness, for the people I’ve distanced away from, for the fact that going outside and meeting people is the basis of my entire being, so being stripped away from that was disorienting.

So, I found reasons for why I should wake up every morning and start my day, even if I have to be inside my house. I rediscovered myself, I picked up on old hobbies.

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During the pandemic, I remembered how much I love to read and write, it made me realize I want to study literature at university.

I painted, I got new art supplies, I bought so many novels, I talked to my friends using Zoom, I spent my time watching movies with my family, and I spent most of my time working on my college applications.

Honestly, it was a bit exciting— now that I thought about it in a positive light— to be by yourself, you get to learn so much more about yourself. Yes, we lost things, but we found things too.

And hey, everything happens for a reason; that’s what I like to believe. For instance, growing away from friends is like putting on a shirt that no longer fits the way it did a few years ago. It is bittersweet, but you’ve got to part with it eventually.

I have lost myself, but found myself once again during the lockdown. And this will happen quite often; you will break, you will fall down, you will fail. But… you will always become whole again, you will stand back up. You will mourn, you will grieve, but you will find your way back to happiness.

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Doubt & Self-acceptance Written by REEM ALAHBABI

At the start of the pandemic, I stayed inside and was terrified of leaving my house. I spent my last years of high school, my senior year wasted behind closed doors and masked faces. I lost most of my friends and began doubting myself, who I am and my future. I didn’t have a graduation party or even wore my graduation gown, instead I opened my phone and watched how the world crumbled around me. Body’s dropping left and right people losing their jobs and homes, it was miserable.

In the first wave of the pandemic, I’ve witnessed how humanity could be both cruel and kind.

Watching people volunteer and help around their communities with simple things such as canned foods and water, but other times I’ll see people be rude and ignorant by refusing to wear their masks, saying that COVID is a hoax, a lie and due to fear and ignorance they caused the death of thousands.

And then we got accustomed to the way life is now, people started to wear masks more not only to keep themselves and everyone else safe but also as a fashion choice. I’ve seen colorful, bejeweled, drawn on and matching masks as well. People started to let the way life is now sink in, at that time I started my finals and was going to transition to a new part of my life I was happy, and then we had to start signing up for college.

I was doubtful, I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t prepared for this, my entire life I would find everything laid out in front of me but now I had control, power, and freedom in my hands. I could do and be what I wanted but the question that was in the back of my mind resurfaced.

Who was I? At this time my mental health declined. I was lost, confused, and sad… I didn’t know what I wanted it to be, I felt hopeless, I consumed myself in searching everywhere and asking everyone anything. About what the best college was, their requirements, and the majors provided in the college. And among all this chaos and doubt there was serenity and self-acceptance, in my darkest time I found UAE University, and it was like coming out of a dark tunnel I found myself. I felt the doubt wash away from my conscious, college helped me get my voice back, my anxiety went away day by day, and I found people like me who I can call my friends. I found my happiness here.

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The Effect of Insufficient Sleep on Male Students at UAEU Written by HAMAD ALBLOOSHI

Introduction Insufficient sleep may have significant effects on students. This research examines the impact of insufficient sleep in terms of academic performance, mental health, physical health, car driving, and interpersonal relationships. It seeks to answer the question, “How does insufficient sleep affect male students at UAEU?”

Also, suicide ideation can occur due to mental health issues caused by poor sleep (Khader, Tubbs, Haghighi, Athey, Killgore, Hale & Grandner, 2020). Furthermore, disturbed sleep escalates the risk of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and is the main symptom of the bipolar disease (Richards, Kanady & Neylan, 2020; Faedda, Baldessarini, Glovinsky & Austin, 2004; Ritter, Höfler, Wittchen, Lieb, Bauer, Pfennig & Beesdo-Baum, 2015).

Literature Review Insufficient sleep deteriorates students’ academic performance. Sleeping is vital for students to retain what they have learned and have a replenished learning ability (Maquet, 2001).

Thus, sleep-deprived students demonstrate poor cognitive performance, such as insufficient attention, learning impairment, and weak memory (Lim & Dinges, 2010; Alhola & Polo, 2007). Furthermore, poor sleep negatively impacts other learning aspects like creativity and problem-solving skills (Ritter, Strick, Bos, Van Baaren & Dijksterhuis, 2012; Sio, Monaghan & Ormerod, 2013). Sleepy students take more time and make more mistakes solving mathematical problems than nonsleepy students (Campos-Morales, Valencia-Flores, Castaño-Meneses, CastañedaFigueiras, & Martínez-Guerrero, 2005).

Insufficient sleep damages students’ physical health. Lack of sleep contributes to various health issues, including a weak immune system and diabetes (Chaput & Dutil, 2016; Bryant & Trinder, 2004; Touma & Pannain, 2011). It also increases the students’ risk of obesity by disturbing eating hormones in the body, which results in increased appetite and not feeling full after eating (Bodosi, Gardi, Hajdu, Szentirmai, Obal & Krueger, 2004).

Likewise, poor sleep decreases the students’ ability to combat diseases and release insulin, a blood-sugar-reducing hormone (Bryant & Trinder, 2004; Touma & Pannain, 2011).

Moreover, sleep disorders affect eyesight by decreasing the tears produced by the eye, resulting in eye dryness and blurred vision (Waller, Bendel & Kaplan, 2008).

Insufficient sleep worsens students’ mental health. Bad sleep habits are associated with anxiety and depression (Mccall, Reboussin & Cohen, 2000; Papadimitriou & Linkowsk, 2005). For instance, nine out of ten depressed people have sleeping issues like insomnia (Nutt, Wilson & Paterson, 2008). Similarly, sleeping problems can cause or worsen students’ anxiety, especially under exam stress (Papadimitriou & Linkowsk, 2005).

Insufficient sleep decreases the performance of students’ car driving. Sleepiness is related to cognitive impairment, which lowers students’ concentration and decision-making, which are crucial for car driving (Åkerstedt, Anund, Axelsson & Kecklund, 2014; Aldrich, 1989). Drowsy driving occurs mainly on lowtraffic highways, which makes driving a monotonous task. For instance, sleepy drivers on highways demonstrate a longer blink duration and slower reflexes than nonsleepy

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drivers (Åkerstedt et al., 2014; Osman, Carter, Carberry & Eckert, 2018). As a result, drowsy driving escalates the risk of car accidents which can cause serious injuries or even death to male students, who are more likely to have car accidents than females (Kalsi, Tervo, Bachour & Partinen, 2018; Al-Balbissi, 2003).

results and created a pie chart using Microsoft Excel to display the survey outcome.

We searched many resources, including articles, scientific journals, and books, to write the literature review. They provided a plethora of information about the topic, but only reliable information was mentioned in the literature review.

Insufficient sleep damages students’ interpersonal relationships. With lack of sleep, students’ cognitive, emotional, and motivational state is negatively affected, and hence students become less sociable (Back, Schmukle & Egloff, 2009; Steindl & Jonas, 2015). Poor sleep increases defiance and irritability (Chattu, Manzar, Kumary, Burman, Spence & Pandi-Perumal, 2018). As a result, sleepiness makes students socially withdrawn and less appealing to socialize with, decreasing their social activity significantly (Holding, Sundelin, Schiller, Åkerstedt, Kecklund & Axelsson, 2020). Furthermore, insufficient sleep reduces communication between students in class, reducing interaction and making the learning process less effective (Albalawi & Nadeem, 2020).

Next, using the five interview questions, we interviewed six male students. The responses supported the survey results and gave us a broader understanding of the subject. Then, we quoted the responses and compared them to the literature review in the discussion.

Finally, we wrote the conclusion, where we summarized our results and addressed some issues we faced while writing the literature review and interviewing the students. To improve our work, we asked the professor for multiped feedback. As instructed, we submitted the interview files and the research paper before the due date.

Results

Methodology We began our research by choosing a partner.

After selecting a partner, we started searching for a topic that affects us as students. We picked insufficient as our topic since we believe that sleeping is an ignored issue by most students, although sleeping may affect almost every aspect of students’ life. For instance, insufficient sleep affects students’ health, academics, and interpersonal relationships. Therefore, we were intrigued by studying the effect of sleep on UAEU students.

1. Does insufficient sleep affect academic performance?

2. Does insufficient sleep positively affect academic performance?

3. Does insufficient sleep affect mental health?

4. Does insufficient sleep positively affect mental health?

5. Does insufficient sleep affect physical health?

6. Does insufficient sleep positively affect physical health?

7. Does insufficient sleep affect car driving?

8. Does insufficient sleep positively affect car driving?

9. Does insufficient sleep affect interpersonal relationships?

10. Does insufficient sleep positively affect interpersonal relationships?

Then we created the following controlling ideas: Academic performance, mental health, physical health, car driving, and interpersonal relationships. We choose these ideas because of their correlation to our topic, and they are umbrella terms with many available resources.

Afterward, we designed a survey. The survey consisted of 10 questions, two for each main idea, while the interview included five questions. Ten male students conducted the survey. Next, we checked the reliability of the

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Discussion Insufficient sleep negatively impacts students’ academic performance. In response to question 1, “Does insufficient sleep affect academic performance?” 0% answered No, while 100% of respondents answered Yes. In response to question 2, “Does insufficient sleep positively affect academic performance?”

30% answered Yes, while 70% answered No. Most respondents believed that insufficient sleep lower students’ academic performance.

One respondent said that one day he “forgot that assignment the professor told him about and missed the deadline” because he was sleepy. Also, he “could not concentrate enough in class to remember the important parts.” Another respondent stated that he could not adjust his sleeping schedule to university timing as a first-year student, so he “missed classes” and felt it was “challenging to study.” Another respondent mentioned that as a result of not sleeping well before the exam, he was “unable to focus” and could not solve straightforward mathematical problems. These findings confirm Maquet’s (2007), Lim’s and Dinges’ (2010), Alhola’s and Polo’s (2007), Ritter et al’s (2012), Sio et al’s (2013), and Campos-Morales’ (2005) conclusions that by insufficient sleep, students demonstrate a lower ability to remember what they have learned, difficulty in learning new things, and reduced attention during class. Furthermore, it negatively impacts students’ ability to solve mathematical problems requiring a high concentration. On the other hand, one respondent said that before doing a creative task, he “sleeps for 5 hours” because by doing so, he feels that his “subconscious mind is more activated” and that he is “more creative.”

This finding contradicts Ritter et al’s (2012) conclusion that insufficient sleep lowers students’ creativity.

health. One respondent said that his “friend was depressed,” He was so down that he did not want to attend any classes. Another respondent stated that he used to “cram for the test,” causing his sleep duration during exams to drop, with the result that he “overthinks and overstresses” during the exams. Another respondent stated that he knew a student with “a history of sleeping issues hospitalized after trying to commit suicide.” Also, the same student was diagnosed with the early “symptoms of depression” after that incident. These findings confirm Mccall et al’s (2000), Papadimitriou’s and Linkows’ (2005), Khader et al’s (2020), and Ritter et al’s (2015) conclusions that students with sleeping issues are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety especially when they are stressed at university, and may suffer from suicidal thoughts and become mentally ill.

Alternatively, one respondent mentioned that staying up late while doing something joyful like hanging out with friends makes him “more cheerful and less anxious by stop worrying about the university.” This finding contradicts Papadimitriou’s and Linkows’ (2005) conclusion that insufficient sleep makes students more anxious and depressed.

Insufficient sleep deteriorates students’ physical health. In response to survey question 5, “Does insufficient sleep affect physical health?” 10% answered No, while 90% of respondents answered Yes. In response to survey question 6, “Does insufficient sleep positively affect physical health?” 20% answered Yes, while 80% answered No. All responses revealed that insufficient sleep negatively impacts physical health. One respondent said that he “gained a lot of weight” during his first semester at the university due to his inability to manage his time to get sufficient sleep. Consequently, he was “unable to eat properly because of overeating and not feeling full.” Another respondent said poor sleep caused “red and baggy eyes that blurred his sight” and made him look “physically not good.” Other respondents mentioned that after an unhealthy lifestyle where he was “staying up late and waking up early for classes,” he was diagnosed with a “higher risk of developing

Insufficient sleep damages mental health. In response to survey question 3, “Does insufficient sleep affect mental health?” 0% answered No, while 100% of respondents answered Yes. In response to survey question 4, “Does insufficient sleep positively affect mental health?” 30% answered Yes, while 70% answered No. Most respondents agreed that insufficient sleep damages students’ mental

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type 2 diabetes.” These findings confirm Chaput’s and Dutil’s (2016), Bryant’s and Trinder’s (2004), Touma’s and Pannain’s (2011), Bodosi et al’s (2014), and Waller et al’s (2008) conclusions that decreased sleeping duration results in obesity, increased chances of getting diabetes, and eye dryness.

Insufficient sleep reduces the performance of students’ car driving. In response to survey question 7, “Does insufficient sleep affect car driving?” 20% answered No, while 80% of respondents answered Yes. In response to survey question 8, “Does insufficient sleep positively affect car driving?” 20% answered Yes, while 80% answered No. All responses agreed that not getting enough sleep makes car driving a reckless and risky activity. One respondent stated that he had his first car accident at the roundabout after “falling asleep for seconds and hitting the car in front of him.” Another respondent said that the only time he “over speeds” and gets caught by speeding radars is when he doesn’t get enough sleep because he “can’t pay attention to the speed of the road.” Another respondent stated that he was so excited after getting his driving license that he “stayed up all night.”

Therefore, he “parked at a handicapped spot.”

These findings confirm Åkerstedt et al’s (2014), Aldrich’s (1989), Osman et al’s (2018), Kalsi et al’s (2018), and Al-Balbissi’s (2003) conclusions that sleepy students demonstrate cognitive impairment where they lack concentration and judgment. And hence, they can commit erroneous decisions that can risk their lives and the lives of others on the road.

Insufficient sleep negatively impacts students’ interpersonal relationships. In response to survey question 9, “Does insufficient sleep affect interpersonal relationships?” 20% answered No, while 80% of respondents answered Yes. In response to survey question 10, “Does insufficient sleep positively affect interpersonal relationships?” 30% answered Yes, while 70% answered No. Most responses indicate that insufficient sleep harms interpersonal relationships. One respondent said that lack of sleep “reduces his communication.” Another respondent stated that he wakes up “irritated and not in the

mood to communicate with anyone.” Also, he added that being a student at a university where he has to deal with people in this community like colleagues and teachers “worsens the situation.” Another respondent said that when he doesn’t sleep well, he starts “questioning everything,” which causes him to get “into arguments, creating social tension.”

These findings confirm Back et al’s (2009), Steindl’s and Jonas’ (2015), Chattu et al’s (2018), and Holding et al’s (2020) conclusions that insufficient sleep discourages students from socializing and communicating with others, affecting their personal and professional life negatively.

Another respondent said that sleeping less makes him “more sociable,” especially at late hours at night, since he “doesn’t be shy and stops rehearsing the words he should say to others.”

This finding contradicts Back et al’s (2009) and Holding et al’s (2020) conclusions that sleepy students are more irritated and socially withdrawn.

Conclusion This study has successfully answered the research question. The results showed that insufficient sleep has a negative impact on students’ academic performance, mental health, physical health, car driving, and interpersonal relationships.

While conducting the research, we faced some unexpected issues. First, choosing car driving as a controlling idea was not easy given the narrow scope of the term and the difficulty in finding journals related to the subject. Another issue that we faced was students’ responses mixing up academic achievement with academic performance, so we made sure only to quote the statements related to the specified controlling idea. Additionally, scheduling an interview with six students took longer than expected, considering their academic responsibility and personal obligations.

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As students, we never strive to have a good and full night’s sleep since sleeping is the least of our priorities. We always postpone sleeping to doing assignments, studying, and even watching another episode on Netflix. We are posing a catastrophic effect on our health, productivity, and safety. Poor sleep negatively impacts our education as undergraduate students, lowering our attention and motivation. Unfortunately, this unhealthy phenomenon is spreading, and significant adjustments to the students’ and society’s appreciation of sleeping should occur. The expected future growth of sleep science and the development of new technologies that help students manage their sleep habits may help diminish this persisting issue. By conducting this paper, we help students improve their sleeping habits and be aware of the significance of having a full night of sleep to be healthier, safer, and truly awake during the day.

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Chattu, V. K., Manzar, M. D., Kumary, S., Burman, D., Spence, D. W., & Pandi-Perumal, S. R. (2018, December). The global problem of insufficient sleep and its serious public health implications. Healthcare, 7(1), 1. MDPI.

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Khader, W. S., Tubbs, A. S., Haghighi, A., Athey, A. B., Killgore, W. D., Hale, L., & Grandner, M. A. (2020). Onset insomnia and insufficient sleep duration are associated with suicide ideation in university students and athletes. Journal of Affective Disorders, 274, 1161-1164.

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Sleep disorders as core symptoms of depression.

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Osman, A. M., Carter, S. G., Carberry, J. C., & Eckert, D. J. (2018). Obstructive sleep apnea: current perspectives. Nature and Science of Sleep, 10, 21.

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Sio, U. N., Monaghan, P., & Ormerod, T. (2013). Sleep on it, but only if it is difficult: effects of sleep on problem-solving. Memory & Cognition, 41(2), 159-166.

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How Far Can We Sympathise with Villains?

Written by ALIA ZINO

"Forgive My Laughter. I Have A Condition…”

Fancy, eloquent, sentimental words forming expressions, exceptionally and intentionally coming out from the mouths of villains, shall forever stick with every cinema fan.

In short, because on some level we believe that “ends justify means”. The stories of characters are being presented in such a dramatic and emotional way that forces the viewer to sympathize with them, justify their horrible immoral actions, and blame the external conditions that shaped them in this way.

In 2019, Joker was released, receiving critical acclaim by fans and critics. The movie tells the original story of Arthur Fleck, the clown who became a villain due to the outrageous acts of his society (Joker, 2019). Joker, which appeared to be merely an adaptation of the famous DC comics character, was implicitly another moral trap in the shape of empathy.

"While their actions may be questionable, their motives are always pure” (Martin, 2013). Once we start to believe in this, we start applying it to our own lives and finding our own reflections in these characters. Watching such characters somehow takes away of our own feeling of guilt and doubt towards our actions, and gives us the chance to seek justification in others’ mistakes.

The Joker was not the only admired villain.

Thanos and Loki in Avengers, Walter White in Breaking Bad, Dexter Morgan in Dexter, and the list goes on. The recent phenomenon of youth sympathizing with villains is frighteningly growing and becoming a serious issue that must be addressed.

But the Joker was admired far before we knew about his story. Thus, it is not only about the circumstances that shape the villain, but it also has to do with his character. Often, villains are shown smart and creative (Graeber, 2012).

Their precise plans make their view of the world seems logical and convincing. Viewers unconsciously adopt the villain’s dark view of the world, agree with their actions and sometimes stand by their side in their struggle with the cruel society. They succeed in featuring corrupt governance systems, with superheroes resembling specific political orientations.

To understand and appreciate the dangerous implications of this phenomenon, one must first examine the reasons behind it. Why do we sympathize with villains?

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Our rare relation to them doesn’t change the fact that they are merely distractions from our lively goals and supreme morals. It is essential to “confront and understand our own hidden nature to grow as human beings,” control our sympathy, and remain unaffected by these fancy figures (Langley, 2012). Otherwise, before we know it, Jokers will fill the trains, and criminals will become role models.

Thus, the missing element becomes the anarchist villain who aims to “free” people from these systems gives a false illusion that his actions are justifiable. After all, how bad chaos can be? Moreover, fictional villains are becoming symbols for real villains. Last Halloween, “a 24-year- old man wearing a Joker costume attacked passengers on a Tokyo train line” (BBC, 2021). This criminal didn’t necessarily emerge from the movie, but his costume was no coincidence. In the same way, V’s mask in V For Vendetta became a symbol for protests and riots. The main problem here is that the criminal who uses such symbols becomes pre-justified, assuming that they have a message to deliver. This opens the doors for youth to choose wrong approaches to express, and wrong means to reach their aims.

References Joker, 2019 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7286456/ Villains Do It Better: Why This Generation Is Obsessed With The Anti-Hero Martin (2013) Super Position Graeber & Graeber (2012) https://thenewinquiry.com/super-position/

Movies are manipulative tools that operate on our subconscious. What makes a movie a masterpiece is the presence of a complex, flawed character with intriguing ambiguous morals. We must keep in mind that this is a villain in a fancy frame, and its storyline occurs in the ideal worlds of authors.

Therefore, we must be attentive in the way we refer to them and perceive them in our real world, and not to fall in the trap of empathy.

Villains are villains.

Japanese man in Joker costume injures 17 in knife attack on Tokyo train BBC (2021) https://www.bbc.com/news/worldasia-59103664 Why Do Supervillains Fascinate Us? A Psychological Perspective Langley (2012) https://www.wired.com/2012/07/why-dosupervillains-fascinate-us/

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Things You Didn’t Know About Forensic Science Written by MARYAM ALSABRI

There is considerably more to forensic science than just gathering and analyzing evidence. Many students like me have an interest in forensic science but they're unsure of what to expect to be qualified, and because of the movie industry giving out false ideas of the field, I’ve decided to clarify the misconceptions in this article.

If you’re a person that is eager to learn and have interest in the fields of both chemistry and biology, but most importantly lab work. Forensics might just be the right thing for you, as it mainly consist of those three parts.

Many suggest taking a bachelor’s degree in a science related field to later on pursue a master’s degree in whichever field of forensics you’d seem interested in. In fact, I’m majoring in biochemistry right now with the intention of getting a master’s in forensic chemistry since I’m quite interested in this field of work.

What to expect at work? There are many types of forensic investigators, some collect evidence from crime scenes, some analyze Chemical substances in labs, some analyze drugs in labs, some analyze fingerprints in scenes and labs . So, each department has a different working environment, it depends on which one you work in. Toxicology professionals would conduct tests on bodily tissues and fluids to determine whether drugs or chemicals were present in the body, However Forensic chemists examine samples that are used as clues in crimes as well as physical and chemical evidence. The other part of forensics is that sometimes it can get exhausting as you’d have to work for hours on end to finish a case as taking breaks would be time consuming.

Overall, forensics is more difficult than we may initially believe. Despite the fact that movies change how we view it. Forensics is not everything we see in movies. In addition to the fields I have mentioned, it contains many more. If you choose to work in the industry, you should be ready for any expectations that can occur.

Photo credit Ousa Chea Unsplash.com

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Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

A Translation of "‫"من أنتم لوال البسطاء‬

“Who would you be, if not for the simple people” Translated by NOUF DARWISH ALHASSANI The following is a translation of an Arabic poem entitled “‫ ”من أنتم لوال البسطاء‬or "Who would you be if not for the simple people?" by the Kuwaiti poet, Abdullah Alloush, into English.

Short bio about the poet: Abdullah Alloush is a Kuwaiti poet, born in 1974 in Fahaheel. The poet wrote his first poems when he was 14 years old in 1988, and his first poem was published in 1990 when he was 16 years old. It was about the events of the Iraqi invasion and the role of the Gulf states in repelling it.

Who would you be if not for the simple people?

Simple people are the victims of war Simple people are the victims of hunger Simple people are the victims of power Simple people are the victims of love Who would you be if not for the simple people?

The prophet was a simple person But still was a true leader above all leaders Who would you be if not for the simple people?

We are the sounds of love We are the echoes of love Who would you be if not for the simple people?

We are the land, the sky, and the stars Who would you be if not for the simple people?

A bunch of meaningless names You are the pain of this world Who would you be if not for the simple people?

We are history;

‫من أنتم لوال البسطاء؟‬

‫الحرب ضحاياها البسطاء‬

‫والجوع ضحاياه البسطاء‬

‫والتاج ضحاياه البسطاء‬

‫والحب ضحاياه البسطاء‬ ‫من أنتم لوال البسطاء؟‬

ً‫كان رسول هللا بسيطا‬ ‫وزعيمًا فوق الزعماء‬ ‫من أنتم لوال البسطاء؟‬ ‫نحن االصوات الرنانة‬

‫بالحب ونحن االصداء‬

‫من أنتم لوال البسطاء؟‬

‫نحن األرض ونحن الحرث‬ ‫ونحن الزرع ونحن الماء‬

‫من أنتم لوال البسطاء؟‬ ‫حفنة أسماء جوفاء‬

‫اشياء تخلف اشياء‬ ‫اعباء تنجب اعباء‬

‫وغباء في ظل غباء‬

Who are you?

‫من أنتم لوال البسطاء؟‬

We are people;

‫نحن التاريخ فمن أنتم؟‬

Who are you?

‫نحن الناس يا أزياء‬

You, money worshippers!

‫فاحترمونا يا عباد المال‬

Respect us!

‫واتباع النبالء‬

We are the simple people!

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A Translation of "‫"العشاء األخير‬ Translated by FATIMA ABDULLA ALDARMAKI

This is a translation of a short story by the British author, Roger Jon Ellory, into Arabic.

About the author: Roger Jon Ellory was born in Birmingham, England, in June of 1965. He did not complete his studies due to the death of his grandmother in 1982. He wrote his first novel when he was twenty-two years old. The “last supper” story was published on May 15, 2013 and is considered an exclusive crime story by Roger. (source text) http://www.rjellory.com/a-thriller-in-800-words-or-less/ Last Supper David was a creature of habit, and yet he had learned to accept his anonymity and predictability as a blessing, not a curse. He rose at the same time, dressed in clothes indistinguishable from those he wore on any other day, ate the same breakfast, took the same route to work. He filed insurance claims until lunchtime, and then he walked to the park. Here he sat for forty-eight minutes to read the newspaper, to eat his sandwich, and then he walked back to the office. To him, this routine had become a comfort.

David had made no definite plans as to the means of disposal for her body, nor how he would explain her sudden disappearance to family, friends and neighbors. Perhaps he believed that once the deed was done he would be struck by a brilliant solution, a streak of lightning, a bolt from the blue.

David had decided the manner of her death, however. He would stab her in the eye. The chosen instrument of death was not a knife, but a knitting needle. He had struck bound half its length in duct tape so as to provide a firm grip, yet with six inches exposed he believed that the needle – if driven suddenly, and with sufficient force – would pass directly through her eye and into the brain. There would be little, if any, blood, and death would be instant. She had given him fifteen years of comfortable, predictable marriage, and he did not wish to cause her any undue pain or distress. In fact, David did not think of it so much as a murder, but more of an execution for some unknown crime.

And so it was, on a cool summer evening, that David and his wife sat at the kitchen table to eat.

She had prepared a chicken salad and opened a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. They ate in nearsilence, the stillness punctuated by the odd pleasantry, the fact that rain had been expected but not arrived.

“Perhaps tomorrow”, David had commented, finding it ironic that he was mentioning something of which she would know nothing.

David sat calmly, the knitting needle beneath his thigh. He felt a sense of philosophical resignation regarding the inevitability of what was about to happen.

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There would be no struggle, no raised voices, no desperate drama as she fought against hands tightening around her throat. There would be no blood spatter, no scuff- marks from frantic heels against the linoleum. She would find herself at dinner, and then she would be dead. Perhaps she would not even notice.

“You’re having no wine?” he asked her.

“No,” she said. “I have a slight headache. The wine will worsen it.”

It was then that David experienced a sudden pang of something. She had smiled at him, and smiled in such an innocent and unaffected way, and there had almost been a sense of sadness in her tone.

She could not know what he had planned, for he had planned nothing beyond her death. She could not suspect him of any deceit. Each day had been the same. He had done the same things, expressed the same thoughts with the same words, continued with routines that had remained constant and unchanging for years. In fact, it was safe to say that the single most defining characteristic of their marriage was that nothing ever happened.

But now he was feeling something.

Was it regret? Guilt? Was he even now questioning the determination he had made to kill her?

Why was he experiencing this sense of disorientation, a feeling of agitation in his stomach, a fleeting wave of nausea?

Why did he now feel so weak, so uncertain?

He opened his mouth to speak. His words were thoughts, but they were not sounds.

She looked at him, the same sense of sadness in her eyes. The stab of pain in his gut was breathtaking. It snatched every molecule of air from his lungs and throat. He had never felt anything like it. The pain did not last so long – thirty seconds, perhaps forty.

He felt his cheek against the plate of moist salad, and then he felt nothing at all.

David’s wife carried the wine bottle and the glass to the sink. She was methodical as she washed them, ensuring every grain of sediment was removed from both.

And then she stood in the kitchen doorway, and she looked at her dead husband, and she believed that during the last days – as she had planned his murder – she had felt more than enough emotion to compensate for a decade and a half of feeling nothing at all.

‫العشاء األخير‬

‫كان ديفيد متأكًدا من قرار قتل زوجته منذ فترة‬ ‫ ويمكن التنبؤ بجميع تصرفاته وأفعاله‬،‫ لقد تعلم قبول كونه شخًص ا ال يذكر له شأن‬،‫ديفيد ذو طبع روتيني‬ ‫ مرتدًيا مالبس‬،‫ لقد نهض ديفيد في وقته المعتاد‬.‫ بل اعتاد أن يرى ذلك نعمة ال نقمة‬،‫بيسر وبال عناء يذكر‬ ‫ ثم سلك ذات الطريق‬،‫ وتناول ذات وجبة اإلفطار‬،‫ال يمكن تمييزها عن تلك التي يرتديها في أي يوم آخر‬ ‫ فذهب إىل الحديقة حيث‬،‫ قَّدم طلب تعويض لشركة تأمين حتى حان وقت الغداء‬.‫إىل العمل كعادته‬ ‫ لقد أصبح‬.‫ ثم عاد إىل المكتب‬،‫جلس لمدة ثمان وأربعين دقيقة يقرأ الصحيفة ويتناول شطيرته‬ .‫هذا الروتين مصدر ارتياح كبير لديفيد‬ 129

‫لم يضع ديفيد خطًط ا محددة بشأن كيفية التخلص من جثة زوجته‪ ،‬وال تساءل عن كيف سيفِّس ر اختفائها‬ ‫المفاجئ للعائلة واألصدقاء والجيران‪ .‬لعله كان يعتقد أن سيأتيه الحل فور االنتهاء من جريمته‪ ،‬سريًع ا‬ ‫وتلقائًي ا هكذا‪ ،‬كمعجزة تسقط عليه من السماء‪ .‬لكنه في المقابل كان قد قرر طريقة قتله زوجته‪ ،‬وذلك‬ ‫بطعنها في عينها‪ ،‬ولم تكن أداة الموت التي اصطفاها سكيًنا‪ ،‬بل إبرة خياطة كان قد ربط نصف طولها‬ ‫بشريط الصق للحصول عىل قبضة قوية تعينه عىل تنفيذ جريمته‪ ،‬وترك ست بوصات مكشوفة‪ ،‬معتقًدا‬ ‫أن اإلبرة إذا تم دفعها فجأة وبالقوة الكافية ستمر مباشرة عبر عينها إىل الدماغ‪ .‬سيكون هنالك القليل من‬ ‫الدم _هذا إن وجد_‪ ،‬وسيكون موتها سريًع ا‪ .‬أعطته زوجته خمس عشرة سنة من عمرها في هذا الزواج وال‬ ‫يريد أن يجازيها إال باإلحسان الذي كان يعتقده‪ .‬في الواقع‪ ،‬لم يفكر ديفيد في األمر عىل أنها جريمة قتل‪،‬‬ ‫بل كان يعتبرها قصاًص ا عىل جريمة غير معروفة ‪.‬‬ ‫في مساء يوم جميل من أيام الصيف‪ ،‬جلس ديفيد مع زوجته عىل طاولة الطعام‪ ،‬في المطبخ‪ ،‬يتناوالن‬ ‫العشاء‪ .‬وكانت قد أعدت له سلطة دجاج وفتحت زجاجة ساوفيجنون بالنك‪ .‬كانا يأكالن في جو يسوده‬ ‫السكون وشيء من المتعة المريبة‪ .‬في الخارج كان الجو غائًم ا‪ ،‬بيد أن السماء لم تمطر‬ ‫جلس ديفيد بهدوء‪ ،‬وإبرة الخياطة تحت فخذه‪ .‬شعر باالستسالم لحتمية ما هو عىل وشك‬ ‫الحدوث‪ :‬لن يكون هناك صراع‪ ،‬وال أصوات مرتفعة‪ ،‬وال مشهد تمثيلي يائس يحاكي مقاومتها شدة يديه‬ ‫حول عنقها‪ .‬لن يكون هناك تناثر للدماء‪ ،‬وال عالمات خدش من الكعب عىل أرضية المطبخ‪ .‬ستجد‬ ‫نفسها عىل طاولة العشاء ومن ثم ستموت‪ ،‬ربما لن تالحظ موتها من سرعة الحدث المفاجئ‪.‬‬ ‫"سأل ديفيد‪" :‬ألن تشربي؟‬ ‫"قالت زوجته‪" :‬ال‪ ،‬أعاني من الصداع والشراب سيزيده سوًءا‪.‬‬ ‫عندها‪ ،‬أحس ديفيد بألم مفاجئ‪ ،‬شيء ما آلمه‪ .‬ابتسمت زوجته ابتسامة بريئة وغير متأثرة‪ ،‬وإن لم‬ ‫تخل نبرة صوتها من بعض شعوٍر بالحزن‬ ‫لم تستطع زوجته أن تعرف ما اخطط له ديفيد‪ ،‬ألنه لم يخطط في حياته لشيء سوى موتها‪ .‬لم‬ ‫يساورها شك فيه‪ .‬كان كل يوم عنده كسابقه‪ ،‬لقد فعل ذات األشياء‪ ،‬وعبر عن ذات األفكار بذات‬ ‫الكلمات‪ ،‬واستمر في الروتين الذي ظل ثابًتا مكرًرا ال يتغير لسنوات طوال‪ .‬في واقع األمر‪ ،‬كان الشي‬ ‫الوحيد المختلف في زواجهما هو أنه لم يحدث بينهما أي شيء عىل اإلطالق‬ ‫لكنه اآلن يشعر بشيء ما‬ ‫هل كان ذلك شعوًرا بالندم؟ هل كان حتى اآلن يشكك في عزمه عىل قتلها؟‬ ‫لماذا كان يشعر بهذا اإلحساس المؤلم‪ ،‬اإلحساس بالتهيج والغثيان المفاجئ في معدته؟‬ ‫لماذا شعر اآلن بالضعف الشديد وعدم اليقين؟‬ ‫فتح فمه للتحدث لكن كلماته كانت أفكاًرا عجز عن صياغتها بصوت‪.‬‬ ‫نظرت إليه بنظرة حزن‪ .‬كانت طعنة األلم في أحشائه تخطف األنفاس وتنتزع كل الهواء من رئتيه‪ .‬لم‬ ‫يشعر أبًدا بمثل هذا الشعور من قبل‪ .‬لم يدم األلم ألكثر من ثالثين إىل أربعين ثانية تقريًبا‬ ‫شعر ديفيد بخده يالمس طبق السلطة الممتلئة بالصلصة‪ ،‬ثم لم يشعر بشيء بعدها عىل اإلطالق‬ ‫حملت زوجة ديفيد زجاجة ساوفيجنون بالنك والكأس إىل المغسلة‪ ،‬وكانت دقيقة ومنهجية في‬ ‫غسلها‪ ،‬تأكدت من إزالة كل الرواسب منهما‪ .‬ثم وقفت عند مدخل المطبخ‪ ،‬ونظرت إىل زوجها الميت‪.‬‬ ‫أخذت تستذكر خططها السابقة لقتل زوجها طوال األيام الماضية‪ ،‬عندها شعرت بنشوة االنتصار‬ ‫وبتعويض عن سنوات عمرها التي مضت دون أن تحس بأي مشاعر متبادلة بينها وبين ديفيد‪.‬‬

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The German Lesson Written by AFRA ALARYANI, AISHA JAN, NADA ALMAAZMI Everyone: What happened Dr? Are you okay?

Ms. Martina: I got a call from my son who lives in Germany, and he’s homeless! Mein Sohn hat steht auf der Strasse!

Reem: Oh no! How come?

Ms. Martina: Er ist arbeitslos. He lost his job a month ago and he couldn’t pay rent.

Ms. Martina seems sad and distressed and she wipes her nose.

Reem: Why did you not help him?

Ms. Martina ignores Reem’s comment and Reem thinks she is crying, so she remains silent.

Ms. Martina: I wish I knew earlier so I could help him! Oh mein Gott what do I do??! Was ist zu tun?!

Jihee: I have an uncle in Germany who’s a landlord I can ask him to offer your son a vacant room!

Ms. Martina: My flight is tonight and I’m leaving Al Ain to go back to Munich. I will take the week off and I’m just here today to let you know.

Reem whispers to Alyazia: ‫( الحمدلله ما سويت الهومورك‬thank god I didn’t do the homework.)

Alyazia: ‫( انتي الحين مصدقة؟‬Are you seriously believing this?)

Ms. Martina: Banat, silence please.

Jihee (packing her laptop): Dr, what about attendance? Will you take it today?

Ms. Martina: Before doing that, go ahead and work on the homework I assigned, if you haven’t finished it yet.

Alyazia smiles at the doctor

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Reem: ‫( اف كنت أبا اطلع اتريق‬ugh I wanted to go and eat breakfast) Alyazia: ‫( فتحي و حلي انا أقول‬I say open and solve the homework) Alyazia: Dr I really enjoyed the assignment. I wonder if the son will be able to get a new apartment.

Reem and Jihee look at each other and start laughing.

Jihee: The assignment was the story you told us?

Ms. Martina (laughing): Al hamdullah I don’t have a walad. (Thank God I don’t have a son)

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Aemelia Lanyer Critique Written by LATIFA SALEM MOHAMMED

Many people who followed Aemilia Lanyer were profoundly influenced by her poetry.

Lanyer's collection of poems, Salve Deus Rex Judaeorum, was the first work of creative poetry published in England to garner patron.

The volume includes several short poems, each one honouring a different woman. When it was first published in 1611, it was incredibly controversial and full of ground-breaking concepts, including themes that focused on women and sought to defend honourable women from those who would minimize their achievements and legitimacy (Poetry Foundation, n.d.). Lanyer wishes to honour the work that women have previously accomplished while subtly reminding her peers that they are valuable and have enormous potential. Her life is mostly a mystery, which is made even more intriguing by theories that she might be the mysterious woman Shakespeare wrote about in one of his famous sonnets or that she might have written some of his works herself.

Aemelia Lanyer was a member of the small gentry with access to the royal court when she was growing up. She was born on January 27, 1569, and her parents were court musician Baptista Bassano, who was of Venetian descent, and his English wife Margaret Johnson (Poetry yFoundation, n.d.). Lanyer benefited from a humanist education while growing up in the household of Susan Bertie, Dowager Countess of Kent and these subjects’ included geometry, rhetoric, history, astronomy, and mathematics (Poetry Foundation, n.d.). When Lanyer was seven years old, her mother passed away. Henry Carey, first lord Hudson, Queen Elizabeth's lord chamberlain, became interested in her (Aemilia Lanyer -, n.d.). Although he was 45 years her senior, Hudson supported the arts, and the two dated for several years before

Lanyer became pregnant and Hudson ended their relationship.

Lanyer was forced to wed her cousin Alhonse Lanyer, a musician with whom she had a daughter named Odillya who lived for just nine months (Aemilia Lanyer -, n.d.). Lanyer made close friends with Margaret, Countess of Cumberland, and Margaret's daughter Lady Anne Clifford to gain favor (Aemilia Lanyer -, n.d.). She got the idea for "The Description of Cookeham" during this time with them. On October 2nd, 1610, Salve Deus Rex Judaeorum was registered, and in 1611 it was published.

Despite being rediscovered by feminist historians in the 20th century, her work would not receive any major attention for hundreds of years.

The opening line of Lanyer's work, "To the Doubtful Reader," provides context for the title's source. She takes advantage of the chance to reassure the reader and emphasize the strength of her arguments. According to Lanyer, she acquired the idea for the title in a dream and had only lately remembered it (White, 2003). Lanyer makes it plain that she is a woman writing on behalf of women.

However, in "To the Vertuous Reader" It

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functions as a call to arms for women, imploring them to consider their value and to consider where they fit into society. She contends that because women were so dear to Christ in his own life and because they had been his fervent followers despite their suffering, women are the true disciples of Christ (Poetry Foundation, n.d.). Instead of trying to win over men with fickle tastes, she exhorts her readers to let honesty truly represent their ideals. Lanyer reminds her readers that they are valuable for who they are and capable of becoming soldiers of religion, without resorting to a man for approval or aid, in opposition to the conventional notion of the role of women in her society. In early 17thcentury England, it is remarkable and unique to see the emergence of a society of outspoken excellent women, for whom another woman serves as the spokeswoman (White, 2003). The contrasting demands of Protestantism helped women gain their voices during the 16th century by reinforcing the traditional expectations of womanly silence and subservience while simultaneously upholding the supremacy of individual conscience, even in women (Poetry Foundation, n.d.). Women had more and more freedom to translate religious texts, write about their personal religious experiences, and even compose religious verse (White, 2003). Lanyer has the right to speak outside the home due to the confirmation of her husband's name on the title page, where she is referred to as "wife to Captaine Alfonso Lanyer," and her topic of religion is generally appropriate (White, 2003).

In her second poem, "To the Queen's Most Excellent Majesty," Lanyer, who has never met the queen, essentially conveys her admiration and love for her, similar to a fan letter. She applauds the queen for exemplifying the strength, capability, and wisdom of women by being given such a heavy burden as the upkeep and maintenance of the entire country. Lanyer requests that the queen takes note of the fact that her subjects, including Lanyer, are aware of and grateful for her leadership. Lanyer deliberately portrays herself as uneducated.

This recalls both the Christian virtue of humility as well as the modesty that classical authors considered to be a basis for authority.

She offers her work in a poor appeal, much like Christ. The poet's feminine vulnerability also makes her a suitable vessel for the "strong Grace" that pervades the task that she feels she was designated to do by God, just as Christ's human humiliation coexists with his heavenly splendor (White, 2003). Lanyer's assertion of divine grace turns into a potent tool for getting other women to patronize her in order to demonstrate their own level of grace. The women may promote their spiritual decision to receive salvation if they helped a poet who had been appointed by God to write about their eternal reputation on earth.

"Eve's Apology in Defense of Women" is one of Lanyer's most captivating works. In the poem, which was composed in response to Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden, Lanyer makes the case that women have historically been unfairly belittled and persecuted. Lanyer raises the issue of gender inequality and men's mistreatment of women. She makes reference to the Original Sin that Adam and Eve committed by eating the forbidden fruit, and she wonders whether the burden of Original Sin should have been equally distributed among men and women. She reveals numerous arguments for why Adam is as responsible for eating the apple from the tree of knowledge as Eve, if not more so. Lanyer frames her case as a letter to Pontius Pilate, the Roman magistrate in charge of approving Jesus Christ's crucifixion (Poetry Foundation, n.d.). His wife had a dream about Christ's innocence before he was accused of betraying Jesus and had urged him not to punish a nice and innocent man unfairly.

Here, Lanyer represents all men with Adam and Pilate, while all women are represented by Eve and Pilate's wife. Eve was formed from an Adam rib, thus if she possesses any evil at all, it also originates from Adam. If Eve's sin could bring shame upon all of humankind as if they were all sinners, then what would happen if Pilate sentenced Christ to death. Moreover, while Pilate betrays God's Son out of sheer hatred, Eve at least sinned as a result of the serpent's deception (White, 2003). Therefore, compared to the sin that Pilate committed, Eve's transgression was minor. All other sins pale in comparison to Pilate's sin because it is the

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biggest one. The greatest sin of all was committed by Pilate, not Eve, thus women should regain their equality and freedom that were taken away by the tyranny of males who want to govern them (Poetry Foundation, n.d.). Lanyer added that men cannot be conceived without the suffering of a woman like experiencing labor pain during childbirth.

There is absolutely no justification for Pilate's sin if Eve's sin was committed due to weakness. The sin of men oppressing women and not treating them equally also has no end in sight.

To conclude, amazing feminist Aemilia Lanyer was one of the first to discuss the female perspective in the Bible. Lanyer demonstrated herself to be a revolutionary woman who sought to restore the status of women to its proper place while leading an unbelievable life full of scandal up until the point when she published her first and only collection of poems.

In her writings, she demonstrates respect for women and subverts the conventional understanding of the Bible to place the burden for humanity's misdeeds on man rather than woman. Lanyer, one of the first known feminist writers, continues to be an important component of early English literature because of her forceful poetry and possible connections to Shakespeare.

References Poetry Foundation. (n.d.). Æmilia Lanyer.

Aemilia Lanyer -. (n.d.). https://www.projectcontinua.org/aemilialanyer/ Micheline White, ‘A woman with Saint Peter’s Keys?: Aemilia Lanyer’s Salve Deus Rex Judaeorum and the Priestly Gifts of Women’ Criticism 45,3(2003) 323-341.

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Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Artwork Credit Bashayer Esam Ahmed

Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

Photo Credit Noura Mubarak Alkarbi

A letter from the Voices Team When we advertised the call for papers & artwork, the immense support and interest many of you demonstrated surpassed our wildest expectations. We extend our heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you who shared your endeavors with us.

This incredible influx of contributions has presented us with a unique and exciting opportunity to showcase your remarkable work in our publication. Your talent and passion leave us in awe, as your words and artworks transcend the boundaries of the page, touching the hearts and minds of our editors and readers. It is through your individual perspectives and unique narratives that we gain a deeper understanding of the world we live in. Your courage to share your stories and insights is truly inspiring, and we applaud your willingness to be vulnerable, inviting us to empathize and connect. Thank you for entrusting us with your talents, and we are thrilled to bring your creations to life within the pages of our magazine.

Many thanks to the remarkable individuals who volunteered to be a part of the team behind Voices, both students and faculty members, whose tireless efforts and exceptional creativity have brought this edition to life. They have poured countless hours into every aspect of its creation, and we are deeply grateful for their unwavering commitment. We would also like to extend honorable mentions to Dr. Mozah Tenaijy and our college Dean Mr. Hassan Alnaboodah for their invaluable support and encouragement towards the magazine.

In the face of unprecedented challenges, we become a community of voices, united by profound shared experiences. Life during and beyond the Covid-19 pandemic has tested us in ways we could never have imagined. But through it all, we discovered our voices and inner strength. As you delve into the pages of Voices, let the stories inspire reflection on your own pandemic journey. They serve as a powerful reminder that despite life's difficulties, our spirit remains unbreakable!

Dear readers welcome to the extraordinary 22'/23' edition of Voices! Each page awaits, ready to transport you to a world brimming with raw emotion, captivating artistry, and profound humanity. Let each word and brushstroke weave a captivating tale that resonates through time and deep within. Get ready to be moved, inspired, and forever changed within the pages of Voices.

With heartfelt thanks, Voices Team Magazine Editors

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