Tapmess
Ms. Eyer Spreading Love and Bribes Through Bread
By Ailish MacDonnellSourdough bread Delicious and unassuming, one might think But Ms Eyer, the Tappan Zee High School librarian, has come under fire for bribing teachers with loaves of bread One teacher, Ms Carella, quoted Ms Eyer saying, “Let me in your classroom or else ”
As a method to her madness, Ms Eyer offers bread to each teacher who lets her into their class to teach a lesson for the day Ms Eyer claims that she wants to go into classrooms to “teach research, learn how to choose a good book, and cultivate other library skills ” Is this really true? Many anonymous sources think not These requests to join the classroom do not always go as planned Instead, Ms Eyer has resorted to bribing teachers with loaves of sourdough bread in order to influence their decision-making skills when they initially decline her request Her cultivation of yeast and other fermentation techniques makes teachers highly susceptible to having their opinions
altered on the matter Ms Carella, an English teacher, initially did not want Ms Eyer to be in her classroom last year But after eating some of the bread, she magically changed her mind Ms Eyer has a very detailed alphabetical list of the teachers who deserve bread, and those who do not In other words, those who are worthy of her time in the classroom and those who are not When confronted about the issue, Ms Eyer sees no harm “Librarians are on their own island and bread is the bridge I simply see it as a way to get what I want ” And while Ms Eyer continues to update her list and bribe teachers for personal gain, no one seems to have an apparent issue with it, or so we think Even certain students have come under scrutiny with this bread I was originally going to write an article about Mr Stanford and his baseball field, but I was given a loaf of sourdough bread to make sure Ms Eyer would be in the newspaper Sometimes it’s okay to be
Administration Repurposes Unused Spaces to Address Sleepiness
By Debbie SolomonAttention all students of Tappan Zee have you ever lost sleep at night due to the overwhelming workload and stress of school? Do you ever find yourself nodding off during class, struggling to stay focused? Well, fear not because the school administration has created a solution: sleeping pods!
That's right, lockers are out, and sleeping pods are in Thanks to a recent study that found high school students are not getting enough sleep, school administrators decided to take acion and provide students with a comfortable and convenient place to nap during the school day
The removal of lockers and installation of the pods began during spring break Each pod will feature a comfortable, efficient design, with memory foam mattresses and adjustable headrests to provide the ultimate in relaxation
But that's not all The sleeping pods will also include a range of high-tech features to help students get the most out of their nap time Each pod will come equipped with a personal alarm clock to ensure that students do not oversleep and miss their next class The pods will feature customizable mood lighting with a range of colors and brightness levels to help students create the perfect sleep environment for their needs
In addition, the pods will have built-in white noise machines, providing students with soothing ambient sounds to help them drift off And for those who struggle with temperature regulation, the pods will also feature adjustable heating and cooling settings, allowing students to create the perfect sleep environment
The response from students has been overwhelmingly positive, with many expressing excitement about the prospect of a midday nap "I'm so excited," said sophomore Ava Lee "I always feel so tired during the school day, and now I'll be able to get some rest and recharge "
Of course, not everyone is thrilled with the idea Some students have expressed concerns about hygiene, with the idea of sleeping in a public pod making them hesitant But fear not! The school administration has promised that the sleeping pods will be thoroughly sanitized after each use to ensure a clean and safe environment
And for those who prefer a more private sleeping experience, the school is offering a limited number of private sleeping pods, available for rental by students who want the ultimate in relaxation and privacy These pods will be located in a separate, secluded area of the school and will feature all the same hightech features as the public pods, plus added features like soundproofing and a locking door
The rental price for these private pods will be $20 per hour, with a minimum rental period of two hours While this may seem steep to some, the school administration believes that the added privacy and comfort features will make it well worth the price for students who want the ultimate in relaxation and rejuvenation
Next time you find yourself struggling to stay awake during class, or stressed out from an overwhelming workload, just head to the nearest sleeping pod and catch some Zs Sweet dreams!
Tough Times Force TZ Faculty to Take On Additional Jobs
By Brandon Slane and Matt TobinTeachers at Tappan Zee High School are revealing to students that they are picking up second jobs, and they are not ordinary jobs
Mr Sherman, a known “normal” history teacher, was hiding his identity as what he called a super vet “I’ve been a super vet for about six years now I don’t know how nobody has noticed,” said Mr Sherman when he was confronted about hiding something When asked if he had any capabilities that differentiate him from normal vets, Mr Sherman responded,“I can talk to animals, but they can’t talk back ”
Mr Silver is another teacher who has admitted to having some odd “I didn’t want to get involved in a second line of work, but if I wanted to keep up appearances in the crocheting community, I knew it was inevitable The first job that I looked into was selling encyclopedias door to door It was not for everybody and you needed thick skin as lots of angry folks kept yelling some-thing about Wikipedia and 'nobody reads books you fool!' From there, I tried telemarketing "
Finally, Mr Silver found his calling as an unpaid uber driver "I find it extremely rewarding ” When we asked why he drives people around for free he said, “Although my kids and their friends never say things like 'thank you' or 'really appreciate it,' I can tell that I am appreciated In addition, I love the added perks of spending extra money on gas, Starbucks, fast, food, and travel sports Although I don’t get paid money that would be useful in an actual economy, I feel like a rich man!”
Mr Neidhart has also taken a second job to help pay the bills By day, he is as assistant principal of Tappan Zee High School, but by night, he becomes Captain Penguin, a superhero with an extraordinary ability to brave the cold Captain Penguin’s most recent feat was diving into the Hudson River on March 5th as part of the Penguin Plunge to help support the families of seriously ill children meet their medical costs His dive took months of arduous training, but thanks to his hard work and penguin suit, he was able to survive the freezing temperatures
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Issue
April 1, 2023
Terrence Antonio James/Chicago Tribune/TNS
Featuring...
Mice Prepare Revenge Tour at TZ
By Madeline WennerodThe infamous mice who once roamed the halls of Tappan Zee High School haven’t been spotted in classrooms recently, but sources claim that the mice may be planning a return, or perhaps revenge
The first reported sightings of the mice started around late 2022, but the mice have supposedly been with us for a lot longer than originally reported Remy, a proud longtime TZHS mouse, has confirmed these suspicions “My whole family grew up here In fact, we’ve never lived anywhere else! I grew up down in the C hallway, but I currently reside in the 500s hallway” Remy and his family are very well respected in the Tappan Zee mouse community, crafting delicious food for all to enjoy Their signature dish is a French classic, ratatouille
Ever since the “No Food in Classrooms” rule passed in early 2023, the mice of TZHS have begun to fear the worst “At first it wasn’t so bad We had a large stockpile of food and a lot of confidence We were certain that it was going to be okay” Minnie, a mother of three and a second generation TZHS mouse, stated, “Now we scramble for any crumb that we can get My babies are malnourished ”
With their food supply running low, the mice are taking desperate measures to survive Some have already given up and moved out, while others might be planning something greater
While there are many opposed to the mice of TZHS, a few have spoken out in support of these creatures Junior Annamaria Witek is an avid supporter of the mice “They’re our friends Our school preaches inclusivity, so why don’t we include the mice?” Some students have grown close to the mice, and one mouse was even adopted as a class pet
“Last year we found a mouse ” Ms Erickson, a beloved English teacher at TZHS, stated “We made him a class pet and named him Harold ” Harold has since run away from Ms Erickson’s classroom, leaving not only his home but also his friends “Harold and I were best friends, so when the 'no food in classrooms rule' passed, I cried We'd build a mutual trust and respect ”
The loss of a friend wasn't the only thing on Ms Erickson's mind “It’s still cold out and there is more than enough food to go around I’m concerned about their nutrition and where they’re finding their food The importance of a good diet cannot be overstated ”
Superintendent Search Continues in Surprising Places
By Ava LeeThere is currently an ongoing search for the superintendent of the South Orangetown Central School District for the 2023-2024 school year
Several candidates have been considered in the monthly Board of Education meetings, and the meetings have been filled with tense and dramatic speeches from the candidates
Recently, the two remaining candidates have been revealed to the families and members of the South Orangetown Central School District
In a detailed email, it was revealed that the two remaining candidates were Lani Bao, a current freshman at Tappan Zee High School, and Mr Novak, an English teacher at Tappan Zee High School
Families and members of the South Orangetown Central School District were shocked by this announcement Many argued that a freshman running for superintendent was a mindless and witless choice, whereas those who were in favor of Bao argued that change should not be opposed, but supported
There was an uproar of mixed emotions from the people in the community A sophomore at Tappan Zee High School, Debbie Solomon, who is a passionate follower of candidate Bao, went around the high school to document the different reactions of staff members and students She first interviewed a fellow sophomore and student at Tappan Zee, Myla Vijayan When asked about her initial reaction to finding out that a freshman was running as superintendent for the district, Vijayan responded by saying, “I
was obviously shocked and surprised that somebody so young would be running for superintendent, but I think we will never know the benefits of change if we don't attempt to change ”
Regarding Mr Novak's candidacy, Vijayan said, “Mr Novak was one of my favorite teachers my freshman year of high school, and I think it would be amazing to see him representing our district I think he would be a great superintendent and I am truly excited to see how this plays out ” Vijayan is still unclear about who she supports in this campaign
The fate of this election is in the hands of the students at Tappan Zee High School The voting will take place on April 12, 2023, during a Board of Education meeting on the day after spring break To the Tappan Zee students who will be voting don't be fooled!
Z-Mart Burgled by Sneaky Cookie Thieves!
By Sophia TerlephEverything seemed orderly in Z-Mart on the sunny morning of March 6, 2023, but behind closed doors, a Zee Mart cookie heist was in full swing!
Sophomore Isabella Crespo recalled the situation vividly in her encounter with the cookie smuggler “I would have never expected anything like this to happen ” On her way to Period 5 lunch, Crespo saw "the stumbling figure waiting outside the Z-Mart door It was certainly strange, don't get me wrong, but I just assumed it was one of the teachers getting ready for the day Only when I opened the door did I discover what was going on! I was in the midst of a robbery!”
Z-Mart had not even opened for the day, but this shifty burglar had slipped their way in and was eyeing the sweet-smelling ovens “I remember contemplating my options while the smuggler stood [with their] back facing me And just as I was about to place my order for three
chocolate chips, I saw the smuggler push the tray of warm cookies into a large sack ”
At that point, no one else had entered the store, since Z-Mart had not officially opened, leaving this suspicious burglar undetected by any other students or teachers To make matters even worse, the security cameras in that hallway were coincidentally out of service that day Tapress' requests for comment went unanswered
This burglary has left Z-Mart's success in shambles, and students have been in the hallways for days waiting to find out if the cookies had been returned or if new ones were being made Not much progress has been made in investigating the scene of the crime either, the only thing found were some crumbs and video camera footage too blurry to detect the identity of the perpetrator “I will not rest until this criminal is found because until then, the entire school is completely shaken up!” said Crespo
There are many rumors floating around as to what the mice are planning to do next Will the mice fight back, or will they leave TZHS forever?
TAPRESS STAFF BOX
Published by the staff of Tapress as a service to the students, faculty, and community of Tappan Zee High School The editors urge members of the community to submit letters to the editors for publication
Letters can be mailed to Tappan Zee High School, ATTN Tapress, 15 Dutch Hill Road, Orangeburg, New York 10962, or emailed to tapress@gmail com All letters must be signed; no anonymous letters will be con-sidered for publication
Tapress reserves the right to edit all materials submitted for grammar and length All submissions become the property of Tapress The views expressed in editorials are the views of the author alone In no way should they be considered to represent the views of Tapress, Tappan Zee High School, or the South Orangetown Central School District This April Fools issue is entirely satirical All students and teachers quoted herein were consulted before the issue was published
Editor-in-Chief -- Ailish MacDonnell
Associate Editor -- Matthew Tobin
News Editors -- Nuala Mahady and Isabella Popescu
Sports Editors -- Cassidy Chang and Ariana
Kupi
Features Editors -- Anastasia Albert and Chris Vanderhoef
Advisors -- Christopher Novak and Mark Stanford
STAFF: Liyana Astafa, Carol Daquilema, Gabriela Doherty, Ava Handelman, Celina Holder, Justin Johnson, Cameron Keeperman, Ava Lee, Isabella Matthew, Mary McCormack, Jack Pernick, Brandon Slane, Debbie Solomon, Nate Sullivan, Sophia Terleph, Myla Vijayan, Aline Waldhauser, Madeline Wennerod, Carrie Williams
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Candidates Novak and Bao have bold ideas in this no-holds barred campaign for the new superintendent
Students shop at the Z-Mart unaware of the potential threats posed by the unknown cookie thief
Buddy Norris/Newport News Daily Press/TNS
Photo by Isabella Popescu
Photo by Nuala Mahady Photo courtesy of Lani Bao
Tapress reporters were lucky enough to snap this photo of Minnie scavenging for food after being interviewed for this article
Very Opinionated
Social Media Influencers Drop out o
By Jack PernickThis just in: dropping out of school to become a social media influencer is a fantastic idea Students at Tappan Zee High School have been fiddling with the idea of discontinuing their education to make TikTok videos
Studies conducted by Sarcastic com have shown that one in every three students who drop out of school to make TikToks earn enough money to stop working for the rest of their lives
A great example of this is famous TikTok star Charli D’Amelio D'Amelio deserves everything she has gotten in life because she worked so incredibly hard for it Every million she has made is well earned, as her dancing videos take much more time and effort than a doctor performing life-saving heart surgery
When you view these videos, you will think to yourself how truly mind bending the talent required for these dance videos is
This trend has spread to TZ as students recently told their parents they were going to drop out and start making TikTok videos
Junior John McMackin always dreamt of becoming a TikTok star “Ever since I saw the popularity of these dance videos, I have thought to myself how great I would be it ”
McMackin presented the proposition of this to his parents, telling them that he "put a lot of thought into this and I’ve made the executive decision to drop out of school and pursue TikTok ” His parents immediately kicked McMackin out and told him if he went through
with this decision he could never come back However, after weighing the pros and cons, he decided that he would go through with discontinuing his educational prowess
McMackin is just one of many people to change their lives for the better and make the best decision of their lives The one and only potential con of this decision is the social outcome
Although TikTok is a social media platform and it is presumed that you would gain more friends from this decision, sources found that you will actually lose friends When junior Michael Traina, McMackin's friend, was asked about his decision, Traina said, “I lost all respect for that kid Dropping everything, leaving the ones he loved, all for some horrible app We used to be best friends but friendships are out of the question after this horrible decision ”
Traina is just one friend to come out in disbelief of McMackin’s actions Another friend, sophomore James Caulfield, said, “It is unacceptable for someone to waste their lives and put all of their effort into some bogus social media platform "
Although no one enjoys losing friends, McMackin remains steadfast about his decision “At the end of the day, I’m gonna be rich and they’re not That's what matters the most in life ” Is the money in it worth it? Or is becoming an entitled social media star actually NOT beneficial to one's character?
Adjustments to Prom Scheduling Provide Comfort to Students, Teachers
By Ava HandelmanOn Monday, June 5, Tappan Zee High School will be hosting the annual prom In the past, it was mandatory for seniors to be present at school the next day, but this year there will be a twist Instead, seniors will have the ability to attend school on Sunday rather than Tuesday
Revealing why having this event on a Monday is special, teacher and prom organizer Mrs Rosenthal commented, “It is true that we are called the Monday Prom Goers; the administration is in the hands of the few and not of the many Mondays are the start of the week, so having prom on this day will surely help students dance their way into a wonderful week We debunk the myth of ‘manic Mondays’ and show the world how fabulous that day truly is for our community”
Another person who understands the true glory of this policy, senior Nick Lange, stated, “I love that we have prom on Monday for multiple reasons One, it is the perfect way to start the new week after a weekend full of rest And two, I can wake up bright and early the next day and tell my peers all about it ”
Why not have prom on another day, like Friday? Mrs Rosenthal pointed out, “Have you seen TZ seniors in class on a Friday? They are sleep-deprived, lacking focus, and ready for a
experience!” Seniors regularly rejoice about the provilege of holding prom on a Monday Why mess with perfection?
But since many students are concerned with going to school the next day, TZ will be implementing a new strategy There will be school on the Sunday before prom so students can miss Tuesday Providing the details of this proposition, Mrs Rosenthal explained, “We can start the day with a brunch, perhaps giving out bagels and cappuccinos, followed by light yoga ” Rooting for this new rule, senior Jack Maloney remarked, “This new idea is excellent and embodies who we are, a school that makes fitting compromises to benefit the community as a whole ”
Hushing fears that teachers will be hesitant to comply with this plan, Mrs Rosenthal believes otherwise “Teachers will rejoice at the oppor- tunity to give up their lazy Sunday at home with their families and friends to join students in a meaningful day of educational bliss I mean who actually wants to stay home and cut the lawn or do laundry? I'm sure that I speak for the majority of my colleagues when I say that coming to work is a much better option ”
Environmental Club Updates Recommendations for Recycling Timeliness
By Aline WalhauserStarting after the return from spring break, members of TZ's Environmental Club convinced administrators to help the environment by demanding that students turn in their notes, papers, and tests every week for the club to recycle This includes notebook pages that were
used, worksheets, review sheets, finished tests, packets, full notebooks, finished books, as well as all folders New paper folders will be distributed to all students so that the folder can just be placed in the bin
While the members understand that some students may be opposed to this new demand, they encourage them to realize that this will not only be beneficial to the environment, but to them as students as well, because this will compel students to memorize or digitize the notes before week’s end when it comes time to turn in all of the papers
This new rule will apply to all students at Tappan Zee without exception Students will be required to show empty backpacks before leaving school on Friday even if some of the papers were needed to study for a test Each teacher from every class will help by collecting their students' papers and placing them in the bin for the members of the club to then transfer to the recycling facility every other week
At Tappan Zee, we strive to create a better community and environment for the students and the world, so we must take action in what is beneficial to both
This rule also includes consequences for those who do not comply If a student refuses to submit all papers, they will automatically get a failing grade on their next test in each core class Once again, there are no exceptions to this rule, as it will benefit students and the environment as a whole An in-school suspension will follow for any and all repeat offenders to this environmentally-conscious sacrifice
Tappan Zee staff has been notified of the new rule and will continue to set the boundaries for the time and place to collect all appropriate paper products We encourage all students to recogize the numerous benefits of this new rule These contributions will be greatly appreciated by the recycling facility, as well as the members of the Environmental Club
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Junior John McMackin holds a large Styrofoam cylinder The cylinder serves as his dance partner in a number of his videos
Photo by Jack Pernick
What would have been better for those who attended last year's TZ senior prom at the Rockeigh? The opportunity to make a choice like this year's seniors will be able to do
Athletes Seek Truth Behind Pool Closure
By Mary McCormackThe South Orangetown Middle School pool has allegedly been closed since the end of November for repairs The pool started having issues towards the end of the girls' swimming season and was still under repairs for the entire boys' winter season
Tappan Zee swim coach Mr Rafferty said, “The situation with the pool has been hard on both teams, but especially the boys They have been out of the pool their entire season due to the repairs I just hope that they can get the pool back up and running before the girls' season starts next year”
According to the story shared with the students and community, the pool needs major repairs due to pieces of the tiles coming off the pool floor that let water get behind the tiles and possibly in the cement
Although what has been said about the pool might be true, an outside anonymous source
claimed otherwise This source said, “I heard the athletic director talking with someone about how the pool is actually closed due to the fact that when the high school tried to exterminate the mice from the recent mice outbreak, the mice chewed through the walls of the high school and dug all the way over to the middle school pool!” Conspiracy theorists maintain that the displaced mice from the high school have created a mouse community in the pool area and that the school district prefers to let them finish out the year there in chlorinated comfort rather than see them in classrooms
Although Mr Raffety said this isn’t true and makes no sense, freshman Ailish O’Hara said otherwise “It makes sense," O'Hara said "We started having issues with the pool right after they exterminated the mice from the high school I saw the broken tile, I mean we all saw it, but it definitely looked like there were some
kind of bite marks on the tile The whole situation is strange Something is definitely up ”
She also said, “I just hope that whatever happened with the pool they can get it sorted out soon before the girls season starts We missed a lot at the end of our season and the boys couldn’t use the pool for their entire season I can’t imagine how frustrating that must have been for them I mean it was hard trying to get to practice at other pools for the short time we had to at the end of our season, I can’t imagine having to do it for the entire season ”
This is not the first time that there have been issues with the pool, but it may well be the longest period of time that students have been unable to use it Tapress' requests for more information remain unaswered, but if anyone hears anything about the swimming pool, please reach out immediately We hope to have more information before our next issue is published
March Mammal Madness Consumes TZ Science Department
By Nuala MahadyWho needs flying basketballs and loud gyms when you have the competition of a lifetime in the wild? March Mammal Madness (MMM)) took over TZ, and it shows no signs of stopping
The science halls are anything but quiet as students across the building try to hear the latest battle of MMM Cheers can be heard as fanfavorites like the wolverine, hyena, dung beetle, and three-spined stickleback duke it out Some students are so invested in this year’s tournament that it has been reported that chairs have been flung across the room in despair after some early round upsets
According to science teacher Mr Newburger, March Mammal Madness is “an
alternate March Madness tournament involving simulated combat between mammals, created by Katie Hinde, a mammalogist from the University of Arizona ” This year's tournament sees mammals from four different categories battling it out: the Mighty Stripes, Animal Engineers, Dad Bods, and Itty Bitty Comeback City Early on, it was anyone’s guess as to who the winning mammal will be, and students became consumed with filling out their brackets and arguing over whether the wolverine will beat the giant water bug
Sophomores Alexondria Walsh and Helena Kaczmarczyk are particularly enthused about this year's tournament The two were seen getting into an intense argument in Mrs Lai’s
Stanford Arrested After Stealing Maintenance Department Tractor
By Liyana Astafa
On February 29, teacher and baseball coach
Mr Stanford divulged a tale of Stanford Lore to his second-period AP Lit class As part of this lore, Stanford explained how he lost access to the school tractor years ago, resulting in him having to tend to the field by hand While he states this information was relevant to the students reading Catch-22, it was really an opportunity for Stanford to enact his plan of stealing the tractor back in favor of the team
Apparently, after reading Crime and Punishment, Stanford felt that being painfully obvious would work in his favor Each day, when he stated he was having office hours, Stanford created a detailed plan to grab the tractor keys and escape with the tractor Finally, Stanford had finalized everything and the plan was in motion
In the wee hours of the morning, before the maintenance staff and groundskeepers arrived, Stanford snuck past the security cameras and entered the maintenance garage in a ski mask (After the previous tractor incidents, the school board felt the keys were better protected there)
After scouring the office and making a mess, which he would later blame on the mice, Stanford found the keys Feeling triumphant, he sprinted to the tractor, eager to get it running and finally have control over the baseball field again However, Stanford got overconfident He ditched the ski mask and totally forgot that he was wearing forgot that he was wearing his staple University of Michigan jacket Even worse, he was completely unaware of the additional security camera that had recently been installed because of the district' concerns that he might be planning something like this The accompanying picture pulled from that footage leaves little doubt as to who was behind this caper Still, Stanford "sped" away on the tractor However, he didn’t get that far both because TZ is conveniently next to the Orangetown Police Department and he was only going 10 miles per hour Stanford was immediately pulled over for driving an illegal vehicle and charged with trespassing and felony theft Witnesses to the arrest said that Stanford was somewhat frantic and kept telling the police that "Yossarian lives!"
At press time, Stanford was still in police custody because his wife refuses to bail him out This has resulted in his classes and baseball practices being canceled, and his AP Lit students being brought in for questioning as potential witnesses at trial If his students decide not to cooperate, he may get out in the next few weeks However, the class recently endured a Crime and Punishment essay, so his fate is still uncertain AP Lit student Zachary Sabatini states, “Look, he’s a good teacher and all, but I’d rather take AP Physics than read another 18th-century book about bonnets As far as I’m concerned, he’s where he belongs ”
period 7 chemistry class Walsh said, “I really think that the striped hyena is a force to be reckoned with I believe the hyena is able to eliminate its competitors quickly and cleanly, therefore the hyena will win above all animals ” When asked why she believes in the power of the sea otter, Kaczmarczyk simply said, “Otters are my fav” Truly powerful words that show just how invested students are in MMM
March Mammal Madness has also grabbed the attention of the faculty Science teachers Mr Newburger and Mrs Lai are particularly involved in the tournament Mr Newburger predicts, “The wolverine will win this year, but it’s going to have to get past the golden eagle and hyena, which won’t be easy”
Mrs Lai has a very different champion in mind: “100% the honey badger Even lions are scared of them; they have a special kind of courage and it makes them crazy They truly have no fear” Ordinarily, this kind of faculty disagreement would be nothing, but this is March Mammal Madness! There are no friends–for some, it’s the bat eared fox or bust
Brackets in the NCAA tournament had nothing on the MMM brackets this year as early round upsets were happening more often than in previous years Dismayed students were seen wandering aimlessly through the hallways muttering about their busted mammal brackets Students have been written up for betting in the hallway and trading lunch money for stats on the best mammals out there In the bathrooms, participants argue over whether or not the Bulldog Bat will vanquish Thor's Hero Shrew, and throw water at each other when one student disses another’s favorite March Mammal Madness fanatic Mia Petrouniak, also a sophomore, whole-heartedly believes that the Greater Flamingo will win it all “I will riot if the Greater Flamingo doesn’t win,” Petrouniak exclaimed Maddie Steifel, another sophomore, added, “I want the Veined Octopus to win If the Veined Octopus does not win, tables will be thrown ” Clearly, this year’s tournament has become the main focus of the students at TZHS
To all the March Mammal Madness obsessed students out there: stay safe, watch for flying desks and best of luck in this year’s tournament!
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SOCSD Security
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