Elysian Eagle
Volume 2 : Edition 4 May 2018
Table of Contents Cover by Zoe Thacker 2 Location Unknown, by Kylie K. Jacobson; Photo by Kat Carlson 5 Laundry, by Aaron Naylor; Photo by Tara W. 6 Rodeo, by Lindsey Fancher-Owen 12 Unhappy, by Deandria Handy; Photo by Deandria Handy 13 Golden Green Eyes, by Lacey Dudley; Photo by Tara W. 14 “Long Distance” Relationships, by Lacey Dudley; Photo by Sam Garber 17 Darling, I lost My Sweetness, by Tori Bobko; Photo by Tara W. 18 Enough, by Sierra Place; Photo by Tara W. 19 Darkness of the Mind, by Jack DeSelms; Photo by Tara W. 20 Untitled, by Deandria Handy; Photo by Deandria Handy Back Cover by Tara W. Elysian Eagle Logo by Samira Abraham
STAFF Sierra Place is a senior at TVHS and she is the assistant editor for the Write Life Magazine. She
came to the magazine team a little late in the game but she is still passionate about it. Sierra lives on the artistic side of spectrum. She often can be found in the choir room. This year she is in three choir classes. Besides singing and editing, Sierra often writes poetry (which is her favorite genre to write in), draws, and plays ukulele in her spare time. She loves her family and has her Mom to thank for her love of writing. Sierra is preparing for college where she will be studying psychology. She is excited and a little scared but she is ready to start a new adventure off paper.
Kylie K. Jacobson is a freshman at TVHS, and she is so excited to be a part of the Write Life
Team! Kylie loves to read and write, and she also has a passion for singing and acting (not dancing; she’d probably break something). She is obsessed with musicals and loves to play tennis. Her favorite style of writing is sci-fi and dark fantasy, but she won’t object to attempting some comedy here and there. Her support and inspiration comes from her two beautiful little sisters, hard working parents, and amazing friends. Retsnom sends his love. ;)
Jaden Hetzel loves to write and game with his friends. He has over 220 followers and a writing
website and one of his stories has over twenty-five reads. Jaden loves that people like his writing.
Tara W. doesn’t like to talk about herself. So here are roughly 100 words about coffee:
Coffee has been fueling the masses for centuries. In the 1600’s coffee houses were places around Europe where all walks of life could talk. Many called them penny universities because anyone could share their knowledge. Coffee was blessed by Pope Clement VII after controversy to ban it. Culture surrounding coffee has not changed. Many people still gather in coffee shops to talk. As for the drink itself, it has transformed from simple sugar and cream to thousands of different drink combinations. As the brew becomes more intricate, more people stop brewing coffee at home. Large companies like Starbucks and Dunkin are able to thrive. The coffee industry has grown so fast, it takes more to keep up. Many companies destroy entire rainforests to plant a coffee crop. The deforestation is causing many species to go endangered. So, be nice to the planet and try to buy Fair trade, Rainforest Friendly, or Organic. Thanks!
Emma Houckes is a freshman at Thompson Valley High School and is on the Editorial Team
for the Write Life Magazine. She enjoys long walks on the beach and creme brulee. Also she needs to be fed at least once every two hours. In addition to eating, she likes to paint and attempt other artistic things. She enjoys the color green, but not enough to eat any green foods. She hopes you have a good day and make good choices, because she’s nice like that. As a part of the editorial team, Adam Knight’s responsibilities include reading and revising pieces submitted by individuals and giving feedback to both them and the rest of the Write Life staff on the progress of the editing . He was appointed to the editorial team as his nitpicky nature allows for him to uncover even the most mundane of grammatical and punctual errors. While most the pieces he reads and edits are satisfying, Adam appreciates the ones with a coherent plot and, while the magazine format limits this, ones that could be fleshed out into more broad, narrative driven works.
Isabelle Clukey is a sophomore at Thompson Valley and is the editor-in-chief for the Write
Life’s Elysian Eagle. She has a strong passion for reading and writing, which she credits to writers such as Agatha Christie and Jane Austen. She particularly enjoys reading science fiction and mystery novels. She prefers to write short novels, but has recently taken up an interest in writing poetry and screenplays. When she is not reading or writing, she enjoys swimming and spending time with family and friends. She loves watching movies, especially horror and comedy films. Much like that of her counterparts, she has a strong love for coffee.
Kaelyn Giefer is the Marketing Director of the Elysian Eagle Magazine and a senior here at
Thompson Valley. You might not see her often, as she is always on the go. Whether its sports, hiking, skiing, or even just walking in circles, she never stops moving. On the rare occasion you don’t find her in the gym or exploring the outdoors, she is probably at a coffee shop savoring a latte with her friends and family. She enjoys nothing more than spending time with those close to her, including her two beloved dogs.
1
Date: 11/18/87 Time: 0527 hours Location: ERROR- Unknown
I guess I thought it would be cold, but it’s not. It’s really not. It’s actually kind of warm. A soft sort of heat, pleasant and not overbearing. Dying is easy, I decide. There’s nothing easier. I’m sort of drifting through space and I’m looking at the stars and I’m noticing just now how big the universe is. Or am I just so small that it doesn’t matter? I’m not taking breaths as often I need to. I’m a little lightheaded, but I need to conserve the oxygen supply. I have sixteen minutes and fifty-three seconds of air left. Sixteen minutes and fifty-three seconds to live. I’m watching the tiny green numbers on my commpad tick down. Tick, tick, tick. But I don’t want to spend my last minutes watching my remaining minutes tick down into final minutes. So I lift my head and look out the tiny window again. The stars are diamonds. Glinting. It’s very beautiful. How many generations of people have looked up at the stars and thought that things will be better for them? What is it about a glowing rock billions of lightyears into space that makes people hopeful? Well, I’m up here in the middle of all them now, and they still look just as far away. And then suddenly I’m laughing, and I have no idea why, because it isn’t funny, none of it is, but I can’t stop for some reason. Maybe it’s because my fingers are frozen and I can’t breathe as often as I’d like to, but I’m cold enough to feel warm and the lack of oxygen is making me feel woozy, like maybe I should just take a nap. I should. I should take a nap. Thirteen minutes and four seconds to go. I thought my fear was gone, but there it is again, scraping against my ribs. It’s involuntary. I can’t control it. I don’t want to be afraid, but I am. I am. I take in a deep breath, trying to focus. Too deep. I just wasted precious air. Okay. I need to fall asleep before my thirteen minutes are up. I don’t want to be awake when that last sip of oxygen is gone, when I taste the last air that will ever pass my lips. I don’t want to be awake when the suffocating starts and I’m gasping for breath even though the closest oxygen is light-years away. Sleeping will be much easier. I wonder when my pod will encounter human life again. In a decade? A century?
3
An eternity? Never? Maybe it won’t even be humans. Perhaps I’ll just keep drifting until I bump up against an alien ship, or crashland on a foreign planet. They’ll see the little silver and blue pod, only about as big as a coffin. A mystery for them. They’ll wonder at this little package that came floating in from space, a present. They’ll open it, and what will they find? Surprise, it’s just a little dead girl. A dead girl with blue lips and frozen blood and ice crystals on her lashes. But she’ll be perfectly preserved in this frozen box isolated from oxygen and sun. And, I decide, she’ll have this little smile on her face. Her eyes will be closed and she’ll be smiling knowingly at whoever finds her. Because she knew she was going to die. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. And there wasn’t any pain, none at all, none except for the aching in her head and the struggle in her heart. But she managed to release those, too. So she was happy at the end. She was strong. A calm day at sea. A proud oak overlooking a meadow. A scared little girl overcoming her fears of the dark. And it is dark. The lights went out two hours ago. The pod’s engine failed two days ago. And now the oxygen has three minutes left. I blink when I realize that I’m crying. There are tears on my face and when I reach up to brush them away, my cheek is ice cold. But I refuse to be cold. I am warm. I will make myself warm. But the escape pod is too tiny for me to move around in, and I’m too tired to do anything. It doesn’t matter anyways. I only have two minutes. The fear starts again and I know I need to fall asleep. So I look at the stars one more time- the spinning, gleaming stars- and take my last breath of air between quivering lips. I close my eyes and tell myself that I’m not going to take another breath. But I lie. I lie. I take another breath. And another one. And another one. Dying is not so easy after all. I thought it was, but it’s not. It’s really not. ~Kylie K. Jacobson
“Laundry� As a kid, I could remember Everything. Nothing in my memory could be Destroyed. However, I remember the things That were there That eventually left, Some came back, some were gone forever Never to be mentioned or seen again Even in my mind, they were ghosts Haunting the hippocampus For as long as I can remember. ~Aaron Naylor
5
Rodeo Beginning
When I looked at her, I saw my boyhood flash before my eyes. I saw us as five year olds roping each other to practice for the junior rodeo, and I saw us have our first kiss back behind the chutes when we were twelve. I saw her and we winked at each other from across the arena when she was just the local rodeo princess and I was riding steers. I saw us fall in love, I saw us grow together, and I saw us change into the people we are right now. Her big blue eyes saw the world in mine. She did see the world in my eyes, ever since we were young. She even looked at me that way when I left her standing on the doorstep, my equipment bag in hand, and my buddies waiting for me in the truck. Tears had made her perfect little rodeo queen features puffy, her arms were crossed over a chest that normally wore a sash, and her lips that were always curved in such a perfect smile were opened in an antagonized gape. I’d made that girl cry many times, but this was the worst I’d done to her by far. I left her that night. I told her I was off to become a man, make a name for myself. She screamed and threw things at me. She said that I’d already made a name for myself, I’d made a name that meant the world to her. She was just the county’s rodeo queen, I was just a bull rider wannabe. I wanted to be one so bad, I wanted to be a bull rider more than I wanted to be with her. I had gotten my Pro Rodeo permit, so I could professional rodeo, my dream. Then I left. I threw my bag in the back of the white truck and hopped in. I didn’t even look back at her standing there in the porch light. I did, however, hear her scream as we drove off. “We could’ve been the world!” she cried. My buddies and I pretended we didn’t hear and just turned up the stereo.
Part One
“Lowry wasn’t too happy about you leaving, was she?” Ronny asked after about four hours of driving into the night. The truck was filled with four of my greatest friends in rodeo, Ronny, Clark, Louis, and Jakey-P. The other three had all fallen asleep on each other with beers in their hands. “No, she was not,” I solemnly added. Ronny nodded, and adjusted his hat. “What you guys had was special, Danny. I’ve never had that,” Ronny said. “Lowry and I wanted different things,” I mumbled, wanting to stop talking about it. “Did you really, Danny? She wants to be rodeo queen, you want to be the world’s top bull rider. How is that different?” Ronny looked over at me, a little ticked. I shrugged and looked out the window. I should’ve slept, but I was too nervous. Soon I’d be at my first real rodeo in Denver, Colorado. Lowry was the least of my worries. I looked over at Ronny. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open. “Pull over Ron, I can drive,” I offered. Ronny didn’t complain and pulled over at a gas station. Ron jumped out and took a leak before getting in on the passenger side. I looked in the back seat at Clark, Louis, and Jakey-P. They were sound asleep. Ron and those boys had been running around the country rodeoing for about a year then, so they’d gotten over the nervousness. There was no way I’d sleep a lick I was so anxious. Ron took his cowboy hat off and leaned his head up against the window. “Thanks for taking me along, Ronny,” I said. Ron grunted and went straight to sleep.
We arrived in Denver late the next morning. We got a room at a Motel 8. “Better get used to this, Danny Boy,” Jakey-P teased. “When the season gets real busy, we can’t even stay the night in the damn town we’re rodeoing in!” Jakey-P then jumped on my back and started spurring my thighs like I was a saddle bronc. “Get the hell off me!” I laughed. I threw Jakey onto the cigarette burnt comforter. Clark and Louis joined in and we all began to wrestle. Ron laid on the other bed and tried to sleep with his hat covering his eyes. He threw his boot at us, hushing us up. It was show time and I heard the national anthem ring across the arena. I was down below backstage, warming up. Bull riding was last, so I had a while. I heard my buddies go. Jakey-P got an 86 score on the saddle bronc riding, Ron bareback rode well and got third on the board, and all the while Clark and Louis got bucked off their horses before the buzzer wailed. I watched one barrel racer after another exit the arena, trying to keep myself calm. I went up with the other bull riders and got on top of the chutes. I cinched up my chaps, and anchored my hat down tight. I was up, and I had drawn The Real Deal. He was described as one of the most tenacious bulls ever bred. I lowered myself onto his back while he stood eerily still as a statue. I positioned my hand under the bull rope and I raised my right hand in the air. It was time. My heart dropped and my stomach turned into stone, but I loved this. I knew this. I could ride this. My breathing stopped when I nodded and yelled, “Outside boys!” The bucking chute flew open and Real Deal exploded right out from under me. I kept my hand up, and I tried to breathe and keep my hips below me. The bull seemed to fly, jerking my body here and there. The ride seemed to last forever, the buzzer seemed it’d never go off. My right side got off balance, and I was going down. Just before my hand slipped from the rope, the buzzer sounded, and my eight seconds was up. I landed on my feet and the crowd’s applause almost made me fall over. The relief was incredible. I couldn’t believe I’d ridden my first bull. I pulled out two hand pistols and shot them in the air, my new signature move. I yelled ten times louder than the excited crowd was. I grinned as I stared at the big screen to see my score. “Danny Tanner given the score of 84 points!” The announcer’s voice boomed across the arena. I climbed up on the chutes, happy as could be. The other riders congratulated me as the crowd’s screams still rung in my ears. I couldn’t believe it then, but my dream was finally coming true. I partied hard that night, celebrating my success, but all I could think about that night was Lowry and if she’d seen that ride on the TV. I wondered if she was proud of me. I was so stupid then. Of course she was.
Part Two
After a year and a half, I was in the top ten of the world standings. I was happy, but very empty. I drank and smoked like a fish, only because everyone else did. They said it’d help with the homesickness, which it did. The Corbon brothers, Clark and Louis, quit. It was too much for them. After that, it was just Jakey-P, Ronny, and I. One day, when I was in Cheyenne, I read an article sent to me by my Momma. Lowry was crowned Miss Rodeo Oklahoma. My heart seemed to break at the sight of her face. I traced my finger down her golden curls. I’d missed that perfect, little smile. She’d grown up, I noticed. She was a stunning lady now, no longer a girl. She wouldn’t have recognized the man that I was now, or the twisted morals I’d adopted. I was changed. Ronny walked into the trailer and looked over my shoulder to see what I was reading. He shook his head and patted my shoulder. “Think you’ve made a mistake yet?” Ronny asked. I stuffed the article back into its envelope,
7
remembering the night I left. “Shut up, Ron.” At last, it was time for the Oklahoma State Fair and Rodeo in my hometown, Oklahoma City. When Ron, Jakey-P, and I rolled into town I saw ghosts of myself everywhere. Younger, much more innocent versions of myself running around and dreaming of the life I was now living. I realized a small part of me regretted leaving home. Whenever I had regrets, I reminded myself that this was my dream. It didn’t matter what I had to sacrifice. Even if it meant Lowry. She was achieving her dream, I told myself, and I mine. There was nothing to be sad about. Before the rodeo, I strutted around backstage. I could easily pick out the rookies by their wide-eyed look. I was a big shot, their biggest competition. It was crazy that in the less than two years I’d been doing this, I had done one of the things I set out to do; make a name for myself. I tried not to remember being those boys; so desperate for a win and so needy for applause. Too bad I took it all, I laughed to myself. I was standing by the trailer, and watching the openers line up to do the opening ceremony. My mouth dropped when I saw her walk up to Rusty, her palomino. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Her hair cascaded down in perfect ringlets and her attire sparkled in the twilight. Her chaps had an L engraved in the back. “Lowry,” I mumbled under my breath. She was already smiling as they stuck the Oklahoma State flag into her flag boot. She cinched down her hat and looked around briefly. Her big blue eyes caught with mine and her smile melted off. My heart stopped. I saw her mouth my name under her breath too. They herded her into the arena and I followed, peeking through the panels as she made her grand entry. The crowd cheered as she rode by. She was stunning. She exited out of the other side of the arena. It was like a hole ripped into my chest seeing her again. From that point on, it was hard to get my mind off of Lowry and think about my inevitable eight second ride. Last time I rode in this stadium I was a nobody, now the crowd chanted my name as I lowered myself onto White Out. He was a nasty bull who spun like a hurricane. He jumped in the chute, almost taking my leg off. I raised my right arm up, and glanced across the arena, Lowry was there, her crown sparkling under the lights, smiling at me. I looked at the chute man and I nodded my head. “Outside b-“ I wasn’t even able to finish the bull spun out so fast. White Out didn’t even jump, he spun immediately out of the chute. I felt like I was caught in a tornado. My head spun around and around. I clung tight with my thighs, making them burn. I felt like I was going to fly off into the audience he spun so powerfully. White Out ducked, almost took me off but I sat back and regained my balance. As slow as it always seemed, the buzzer wailed, but my hand got caught in the bull rope. I couldn’t get off. My legs went first, then the rest of my body. White Out spun around and around, flinging me this way and that. Something tore in my shoulder when the bullfighters finally freed my hand. I stepped away, and flung out my pistols. My left pistol hurt something terrible, but I was too happy to care. I had ridden another bull. “Let’s welcome this OKC cowboy home with an incredible score of 89 points!” the announcer bellowed. The applause cracked across the arena. I flung my hat in the air and blew a kiss to my Momma in section C. As I backed toward the chutes, I blew one more kiss to Lowry across the arena. I couldn’t quite tell if she blushed under the stadium lights. Jakey-P met me after my ride and congratulated me. I complained about my left shoulder and he took me to the orthopedics tent.
“What you did to Lowry, Danny, that was mean. You shouldn’t have done that,” Jakey-P scolded as the specialist wrapped my shoulder. “Lowry’s a long time friend. I grew up with her. I can do whatever the hell I want!” I yelled. The specialist gave me a weary look, then continued wrapping me up. Jakey-P shook his head, scowling. He was deeply disappointed. “She’s out in her trailer crying her eyes out,” Jakey-P begged. “Ronny’s trying to comfort her.” Jakey-P pressed his lips together in frustration. “Danny, you can’t just quit talking to her for two years and then expect to pick up where you left off! She’s Miss Rodeo Oklahoma for God’s sake! Her life is better without you, Danny! You can’t just march back in and mess it up again!” Jakey-P nearly screamed at me. He’d never done that before. I ripped my arm from the orthopedic specialist’s grip and marched out of the tent. Didn’t he understand how much I missed her? How much pain I was in? I couldn’t go a day without thinking about Lowry and there she was right in front of me. To be fair, I was only so angry because Jakey-P was right. I stomped back to our trailer and poured myself a glass of jack, preparing for my pity party. I heard the door open then, it was Ronny. “Let’s go party, Danny. Come on.” I shook my head fiercely, but Ronny dragged me out anyway. After scanning the crowd, I noticed Jakey-P wasn’t anywhere in sight. I only felt a little bad about what happened with him, so it wasn’t hard for me to start having fun. While fighting through a pack of cowboys to find Ron, something sparkly caught the corner of my eye. It was Lowry. She was talking with some calf roper. I walked over and I put my hand on the small of her back. “Excuse me sir, but I need to borrow this stunning young woman for a moment,” I said, smiling. The calf roper glared at me as I walked away with Lowry. She tried to slip her arm out of my grip. “What the hell, Dan!” she shouted as she beat her small fists against my chest. “You’re such a jerk!” she wailed in her cute accent. I grabbed her fists and smiled goofily at her. She pleaded with her eyes to let her go. “Please, Dan,” she begged. “I don’t want to talk to you.” A pain throbbed in my chest. She really meant it. “C’mon Lowry, I missed you,” I cooed. I pulled her into a hug, and she resisted for a minute, but eventually relaxed. She seemed to crumble into my embrace. I pulled away and she was quickly wiping away falling tears. She closed her eyes for a minute and when she opened them, her fake smile had returned. “Well, we’ve made it,” she stated with fake happiness. I nodded. “Yeah, almost,” I corrected, smirking. “And we did it alone,” she added, still smiling. “Not always,” I corrected again. Lowry scoffed. “Well, I did,” she concluded. I laughed at her. I looked into her eyes and I saw my boyhood, as I always have. We spent the rest of the night together, catching up. I didn’t feel empty for the first time since after I left. Lowry threw a fit when I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. It made me chuckle. We talked about how we’ve both changed so much, we talked about rodeo politics, regular politics, my momma, her momma, and where we wanted to go from here. It was 3 am, and Jakey-P finally showed up to get on Ronny and I about leaving. I fought him off. I wasn’t done with Lowry yet. I was helping her load up her truck in silence. It felt like that indescribable feeling of comfort and bliss coming home after a year on the road whenever I was with her.
9
“Lowry,” I said wistfully, after she closed her cab door. “Yes, Dan,” she chirped. She peeked over her truck bed to look at me. My arms were crossed and I was leaning up against her truck. I studied her face diligently, memorizing it. “Will you marry me?” I asked. Her jaw dropped. She stood there for a second, then started laughing hysterically. She dropped behind the truck, hands on her knees. “What?” I questioned defensively. Lowry popped up, gaining her composure. “Dan, are you crazy?” she breathed. “I haven’t talked to you in years and rodeo queens aren’t even allowed to have boyfriends! After what you did, you want me to marry you?” she shrilled. “Yes,” I said matter-of-factly. Lowry walked around, climbed into her truck, and rolled down the window. “Being rodeo queen is my dream, Dan, not you. Things have changed. Maybe when I’m not queen anymore, we’ll see.” She almost rolled up the window, but she stopped. “You missed your chance, Dan,” she spoke sadly. “Two years ago when I was eighteen I would’ve said yes, but I’m a different woman now. I’m sorry.” And with that, she drove away into the night. I returned to my truck feeling emptier than when I first arrived.
Part Three
As we passed the Las Vegas sign, my phone rang. “Is it Lowry?” Ron asked. “Sure is,” I replied. I smiled at seeing her name on the screen. I would soon see her at the South Point Hotel. It was the night before the National Finals Rodeo. I answered the phone. “Why, hello Miss Rodeo America. Have you made it to Vegas yet?” “I’m about five hours out. It was harder to get down here than I thought, babe,” Lowry answered. “Get some rest when you get here at least. You’ve got a big night tomorrow,” I said. Lowry laughed. “Are you kidding me? I run a few laps around the arena and hold the American flag for two minutes. You, on the other hand, have the big night. What is this? Your third time being a national finalist?” she asked. “That is correct,” I responded. “Maybe this’ll be the year.” “Oh honey, I know this is going to be the year. Everything’s in your favor, Dan,” Lowry chirped. “Don’t jinx it, Lowry,” I laughed. She did too. “As you said to me, get some rest okay? You’re not partying tonight, are you?” Lowry fretted. “I am, but I’m not actually partying, babe. I’m just watching Ronny and Jakey-P to make sure they don’t get into any trouble.” I tried to sound reassuring, but I knew I was stressing her out. “Please don’t stay out too late. Please be safe,” Lowry pleaded. “I promise I will be, Lowry,” I answered. “I’ve got to keep my eyes on the road. I’ll stop into your room to make sure you’re in bed when I get there. I love you so very much, Dan,” Lowry said sweetly. I smiled as I touched the small, velvet ring box in my front pocket to make sure it was still there. “I love you too, Lowry.” I hung up, still grinning. “You’re asking her tomorrow night?” Ronny asked. I grinned and looked out the window at
the neon lights. “Right after the rodeo,” I answered. Ron and Jakey-P were as happy as I was all the way to the party. I’d poured water into a Coors Light can to trick the cowboys. Lowry was right about staying sober to be on my A-game, and I didn’t dare disobey her instructions. I was having fun enough minus the liquor. “Let’s go for a joyride!” Jakey-P called as the party grew dead. The boys dragged me with them as they ran out into the truck, drinks in hand. Jakey-P was drunk. “Why don’t I drive, Jakey-P?” I suggested. Jakey-P rolled his eyes and climbed up in the driver seat. “I’m damn fine, Danny,” he insisted. “Jakey, are you sure?” I asked. “Dammit, Danny! Yes, I’m fine!” He was as stubborn as a mule. I shrugged. It was no use. I climbed into the passenger seat next to him. At least I’d be close. The others were in the backseat. Jakey-P took off down the road. I should’ve done something, but it all happened way too fast and we had David Allan Coe cranked up way too loud, and I swore Jakey-P was driving much too quick, and they all had drunk way too much, and I just couldn’t keep up, so I gave up before it was too late. It happened in slow motion. I saw the look on Jakey-P’s face as the windshield shattered and his head was flung forward, meeting the airbag. I saw the small, velvet box fly in the air, ajar among floating shards of glass and I saw a small diamond ring come tumbling out of its confines, glistening in the Vegas night light. I felt the constraint on my chest break and my body felt like it was falling. There was no bull rope to hang on to. There was no soft arena dirt to land on. There was no bullfighter to get me out of this one. I saw Lowry rope my ankles when we were five, I saw her golden hair in the shadows behind the chutes, and I saw her eye wink at me from across the arena. I saw her with her crown, I saw her without it, and I saw her on the doorstep where I’d left her so many years ago. I never should’ve done that to you, was the last thing I thought before the world turned white, and the final buzzer sounded.
Ending
Lowry dropped the phone. It cracked on the hotel parking lot. First her feet failed, then her knees crumbled. Her hands and her chest followed suit. Her heart felt like it’d disintegrated and it was no longer where it should be. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, it couldn’t be real. “Lowry? Lowry!” the phone called. She couldn’t hear it. She just heard echoes of Danny’s voice promising to be safe, and promising to never leave. He’d never been good at keeping promises. Ronny went in to identify the body. Lowry sat in Jakey-P’s hospital room. She sat on the edge of his bed and held his hand. He’d tried many times to say that he was sorry, but he was in so much pain he couldn’t move. Lowry started to sob and she excused herself to the hallway. She slid down the wall and onto the floor, crying his name over and over and over. Ronny appeared in front of her with a small plastic bag taken from the crash. Inside was a broken velvet box and a beautiful diamond ring. She shakily opened the baggie, and gingerly plucked out the ring. She slipped it onto her ring finger and fell into Ronny’s arms.
~Lindsey Fancher-Owen
11
Unhappy In moments so favorable and so joyous, we should be happy. But sometimes life doesn’t go that way. We live in a world that is embodied in constant conflicts. Whatever it may be, from the smallest fragment of stress to the devouring world of depression, we are not happy. I speak now in utter truth- it can be absolutely hopeless to be happy. We will not die nor will we live. We will exist in a state of litost. (Regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.) Unhappiness is a painful feeling no matter how beautiful it may seem or how needed it may feel. Unhappiness hurts us in places we did not know existed. It can hurt for such a long time and we begin to believe we will never be happy. In ways too confusing to comprehend, we allow ourselves to be unhappy because we are used to it. It is a part of us. We sit. We think. We feel. We embrace the torment and understand it. We accept it, and that is the worst suffering of all. ~Deandria Handy
You hate your eye color You wished for that deep ocean color Where its visitors can drown Or wished for my gunpowder blue with The snowflakes hidden within them It’s so sad to think you’ll never See them the way I do I get to see a new color everyday Whether it’s golden brown, lime green Or a mix of the two Your eyes sometimes look like melted chocolate Or stolen sunlight Your eyes are not simple Your eyes are the most complex of Earth’s unfettered beauty The color of your eyes makes others freeze But they make me want to melt The color makes me feel as if I am falling And can only be caught by the Golden mountains in your eyes -Lacey Dudley
13
“Long Distance” Relationships After your best friend texted you, telling you about a girl, You texted her immediately, because you were desperate. After you met her for the first time, You remembered how it was dark and you couldn’t even see her face. After the first time she went to your house, You wanted to see her again. After the first kiss, You realized you were falling in love, and you were falling fast. After the first month, You finally heard her say she loves you. After school started, You started walking her to class and kissing her goodbye before she walked in. After you and her got jobs, You started thinking about baby names. After you fell in love, You started to memorize every inch of her face. After you went a few days without her, You started to worship the ground she walked on. After about the third month, You started making plans with her. After the first real fight, You apologized because you loved her. After the first date, You never wanted to leave her side. After Christmas, You realized that if you could, you would give her the world. After she broke the news, You wanted to go with her. After the date was set, You planned a road trip for when you both turned 18. 15
After the seventh month, You decided it wasn’t worth leaving your home for. After the tears, You made her promise to wait for you. After the talk, You said you would make it work. After the ninth month, You said goodbye, and she traveled across the country After the first morning without her, You realized you weren’t going to see her for a really long time. After you made money, You decided a plane ticket wasn’t worth it, so you invested into something else. After you got a car, You would take long car drives at night and wish she was in the passenger seat. After the eleventh month, You couldn’t remember what she looked like in person. After one year, You realized that you were desperate just to kiss her lips. After you turned 17, You blew out your candles hoping to god you could make it to 18. After you missed her birthday, You started to cry every night. After you lost your promise ring, You started losing hope. After the texts got boring and the phone calls stopped, You realized it was ending. After it ended, You felt guilty to feel relieved. ~Lacey Dudley
Darling, I lost my sweetness to your words of poison. How did we become to be? Is it you that has been searching for me? Or is it I that has been searching for you? We tried our hands at this deck; you the King and me your Queen. But the cards have changed, and I’m afraid I’m not yours to keep. You became the Joker as I became the number two. What a unpleasant pair we are in this world of grim. You dug yourself a grave and took me along with you for safe keeping. I felt safe and secure, like nothing could ever harm me– not even you. You taught me how to dance with my demons, and told me that life is a lie.
I had the heart then to believe you as I never believed you to be the prince of lies. Bottle to the lips, you were happy. Smoke to the lungs, you were lonely. Did I ever tell you, darling? Hell never looked so beautiful with those roses you painted black. I wish I would’ve known then that those black roses were for me. Useless, scared, empty, why have I become these things? Ahh, the pleasure of these tears tells me my heart still beats, but it doesn’t beat for you no more. Can I dig myself out if this grave? ~Tori Bobko 17
Quiet is enough, Breathing is enough, I am never enough, Break me down to the smallest molecules, Break each inaudible expectation down into bite sized pieces So that they are easier to swallow. I’m not easy to swallow though, Never have been, I’ve got too much bite for the tongue to restrain. I’ve got razorblade eyes but they’re dull in comparison to my smile, Fake as it is it’s stronger than steel, It cuts like a rusty nail, It causes unnecessary pain to those around me, Because they don’t understand what’s wrong, When you feel you’re not enough, Sometimes you expect less of others and more from yourself, It’s always your fault. These scars on your psyche are your fault. These shattered masks are your burden. Because you should know better right? I should know better right? ~Sierra Place
Darkness of the Mind
The darkness that consumes my mind, Everyday being left behind. I sit in silence as I writhe in pain, But I stay silent in an endless train. This train leads to the dark parts of my mind, In this place you feel blind. Being here is a social norm, I release this in an art form. I paint, I draw, I splash color in the dark, I sing, I dance, I own it with a watermark. I will not let the darkness of mind succeed, I know there is a spark or a seed. Creation is the best way to let go, If you don’t, your mind will implode. So release the color in your mind, Or tell yourself it isn’t time. Your mind is brighter than the sun, You just have to let go of that gun.
The gun that holds you in a bind, The gun that leads you to the dark side of your mind. You can let go, Although painful. You are strong, Don’t get me wrong. I have days where the dark is a constant, But it doesn’t control me, it is not a contest. I will win, I will fight, Even if it takes me through the night.
I know you can let go, The pain will fade away. You will live to see another day. ~Jack DeSelms
19
Untitled For a world filled with bitterness and hate, we can always find love. I find that quite strange. The question that devours my mind is this; “How do we find love?� The answer is quite simple but the journey so difficult. For a world filled with happiness and love, we find regret. The longing to change the past. To change what we said and what we did. Our pain to change is strong and it aches even more to know that we can never change what we have done. For a world filled with hope and dreams, we find failure. The painful truth, that we cannot do what we wished we could. Our dreams have faded into the utter atmosphere of failure. With that failure, we choose to fail even more and give up. For a world filled with tears and cries, we find a smile. A smile can be the biggest lie ever told but it can be a beautiful truth too. A smile speaks many words and sings many songs. A smile is an angel and the devil. Our world is filled with mysterious wonders. In the mind of one, the world is hell and in the mind of another, the world is heaven. But in the mind of many we still need to find what our world is. To us, the world is just a world. ~Deandria Handy
21
http://tvhswritelife.weebly.com/
Elysian Eagle Magazine is owned and published by Thompson Valley High School Write Life class. No person, party, or organization can copy or reproduce contents from the magazine or website without the consent of Thompson Valley High School. The authors and contributors of the magazine reserve the right to the copyright of their individual contributions. The contents of Elysian Eagle Magazine and its website represent the thoughts and opinions of the student authors and is original content. The consumption of any or all content of the Elysian Eagle Magazine will be at your own risk. Elysian Eagle Magazine will not collect, retain, redistribute or sell any personal information provided from its readers. Any subscription to the magazine in print or online will be subject to the Thompson School District privacy policy. Elysian Eagle has the right to change the theme, focus, and delivery cadence of the publication. We can also discontinue the project at any time.