Messenger - May 2025

VOLUME

111

THE SYNAGOGUE | CONGREGATION B’NAI EMUNAH | PUBLISHED MONTHLY | MAY 2025

Milestones

Masthead

Deaths Shandra Abrams; sister of Linda Brown.

Daniel S. Kaiman................................ Principal Rabbi

Lynn Shirley; mother of Kiffa (Nicolette), Jacob, and Ben Shirley, and grandmother of Elazar and Yitzhak.

Marc Boone Fitzerman....................Rabbi (Emeritus)

Annette Dunitz; wife of the late Dr. Norman Dunitz; mother of Elise (Terry) Brennan and Dr. Scott (Harriet) Dunitz; grandmother of Michelle (Ryan) McDonald, Drew Dunitz (Gillian Silver), Philip Dunitz (Whitney Mohr), Katie (Vic) Zimmermann, and Daniel (Maddie) Brennan; greatgrandmother of Levi and Oliver.

Aaron Miller .......................... Executive Vice President

Births Jonah Coretz, son of Courtney and Ryan Coretz.

Jennifer Airey.............................................Secretary

Mark Goldman............................................President Ross Heyman....................................... Vice President Brae Riley............................................. Vice President Noah Bleicher.............................................Treasurer Sara Levitt...............Director of Jewish Life and Learning Cassidy Petrazzi.........................Director of Operations Richie Bolusky.......................Director of Programming

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DoOrs pen at 5:30 pm

CONGREgaTIOn B’naI eMUNAH

MAY 2

Shelli Wright.................................. Preschool Director Genevieve Rahim......Director of Refugee Resettlement Shawna Fain..................................Executive Assistant Sarah Malks....Assistant Director of Jewish Life and Learning Kate Basch..................................Sisterhood President Nancy Cohen.......................Sisterhood Gift Shop Chair

May Program Highlights After services, we’ll enjoy a beautiful Shabbat dinner together starting at 6:15 p.m. The evening will conclude with a special Shabbat Talks speaker at 7:00 p.m. to discuss a relevant topic of interest to our community. Reserve your spot at the Shabbat table by registering at tulsagogue.com/events.

AFTERNOON/EVENING SERVICES

Join us on Wednesdays and Fridays at 5:30 p.m. in the Davis-Goodall Chapel for traditional prayer and community Mourner’s Kaddish. Both in-person and Zoom participation are available. Please register for in-person attendance on our website.

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SHABBAT MORNING SERVICES

The Synagogue welcomes Adam Silvera on Monday, May 12 at 7:00 pm to discuss his third book of the USA Today and #1 New York Times mega-bestselling They Both Die at the End series. Adam Silvera will be in conversation with Karl Jones, an interdisciplinary artist, curator, and storyteller who recently completed a five-year arts residency within the Tulsa Artist Fellowship. For more information and to purchase tickets for this event, please visit, magiccitybooks.com/events.

Every Saturday at 9:30 a.m., we celebrate Shabbat through song, Torah study, and fellowship. These services, available both in-person and via Zoom, offer a chance to mark anniversaries, celebrate milestones, and engage in our congregation’s ritual life.

1 MORAL CLARITY IN THE AGE OF CONFUSION

22 HOLY HOEDOWN

Join us Thursday, May 1 at noon for the final meeting of a four-part in-person reading group, Moral Clarity in an Age of Confusion. Through the writings of political philosopher Hannah Arendt and Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, we’ll explore how individuals and communities respond to moral crisis, resist apathy, and uphold conscience in dark times. Each session will engage with short, powerful readings. Bring your lunch (vegetarian-only, please) and an open mind. Please register to attend at tulsagogue.com/events.

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Dust off your cowboy boots and grab your Stetsons!

The Synagogue is thrilled to announce the return of its annual fundraiser, Holy Hoedown, Thursday, May 22 at 5:30 pm. This high-energy evening will bring together community from all walks of life—our preschool families, supporters of our refugee resettlement work, and participants in our many programs—to celebrate and support the vital work of The Synagogue.

This boot-scootin’ event will feature live music by Jacob Tovar and his All-Star Band, lively two-step dance lessons, and a delicious fried chicken feast. Families and friends will enjoy an evening filled with entertainment, kids programming, and a silent auction, all while honoring the incredible lay leadership that keeps our community thriving.

LIFELONG LEARNERS AT ZARROW POINTE

Seniors from all over the community are invited to join Rabbi Kaiman on Wednesday, May 7 at 11:30 am for a learning session and lunch provided by Zarrow Pointe, starting at 11:30 a.m. Reserve your spot by contacting the Synagogue at 918-583-7121 or registering at www.tulsagogue.com/events.

Please check-in at Zarrow Pointe Town Center and you will be directed to the Dining Hall for the learning seminar.

MAY 2025 PUBLISHED MONTHLY

ON THE COVER The Synagogue is thrilled to announce the return of its annual fundraiser, Holy Hoedown, Thursday, May 22 at 5:30 pm. So grab your Western chic and get ready for an unforgettable night of music, dancing, and giving back. Tickets and sponsorship details are available at tulsagogue.com/hoedown.

CONGREGATION B’NAI EMUNAH

1719 South Owasso Tulsa, Oklahoma 74120 Office: (918) 583‑7121 School: (918) 585‑KIDS Fax: (918) 747-9696 Web: tulsagogue.com

Co-chaired by Carly Finer and Brae Riley, Holy Hoedown is The Synagogue’s only annual fundraising event, making its success essential to our mission. Sponsorships start at $250, which includes admission for two adults and two children (under 13). Your generosity directly supports every aspect of our work, from education to social action initiatives and beyond.

8 BLATT + BLUE: THE BRUTALIST

See page 5 for more information regarding the movie selection and viewing options. Join us for our conversation at 7:00 p.m. on Zoom (918 583 7121). Newcomers are welcome to join the dialogue.

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So grab your Western chic and get ready for an unforgettable night of music, dancing, and giving back. Tickets and sponsorship details are available at tulsagogue.com/hoedown.

SHABBAT SHALOM: MUSICAL CIRCLE, DINNER AND SHABBAT TALKS

Experience a musical Shabbat evening with songs and storytelling Friday, May 9 starting at 5:30 p.m. This inclusive and accessible event is an ideal introduction to Shabbat traditions, welcoming participants of all ages and backgrounds.

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who brings good news.

(Isaiah 52:7) 2

BOOKSMART: THE SURVIVOR WANTS TO DIE AT THE END WITH ADAM SILVERA

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Contributions to The Synagogue Rabbi Daniel S. Kaiman Discretionary Fund Vickie Blalock Susan Contente and G. Kurt Piehler Ryan and Courtney Coretz Rowena Galerston Family Trust Elana D. Grissom Mimi Tarrasch and Jim Jakubovitz Corey Williams and Greg, Sophie, and Lily Raskin

Building and Grounds Fund Jonathan Kantor Altamont Bakery Fund Harold and Sheryl Springer Brouse Family Shabbat and Holiday Fund Betty and Keith Lehman Carol and Harry Windland

Eva Unterman Environmental Education Fund Jason Brimer and Mary Cantrell

Schlanger-Blend Kitchen Fund Wynn and Bette Wozobski

Rose Borg Sukkah Fund Richard and April Borg Jay and Kathy Friedman

In Memory of Pat Snitz and Vellie Bloch Harry Borg Irving Borg Eleanor Brimer Bessie Contente Jean Eichenberg Eleanor Fisher Monroe “Jim” Friedman Stephen Grissom Dr. Marvin Kahn Gertrude Kantor Samuel Lenske Mike May Joe Rose Lynn Shirley Ida and Harry Springer Leonard Springer Bernice Stekoll Ena Tarrasch Sheila Troob Serene Weiner Robert D. West Sam Zeligson

Sam Plost Matzah Fund Lou, Kathe, Mike, and Susan Stekoll Karen Tilkin Drs. Linda and Richard Young Synagogue General Fund Linda Brown Rachel Diagostino Carol Fisher Katherine and Lynn Frame Irvin and Carol Gertner Elaine Kahn Edgar and Isabel Sanditen Preschool Fund Shahaf Feinkuchen Dave Sylvan Joyful Music Fund Sheldon and Molly Berger Joli and Lawrence Shushansky Scott and Lauren Zeligson Refugee Resettlement Joli Jensen and Craig Walter

In Honor of Dr. Scott Dunitz Rabbi Marc Boone Fitzerman Idan Miriam Feinkuchen

Chevra Kadisha Fund Allan and Elaine Jeffy Harold and Sheryl Springer Scott and Jolene Sanditen Memorial Community Service Fund Jolene Sanditen

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From Rabbi Daniel S. Kaiman BUILDINGS AND PEOPLE I may be biased, but I genuinely believe there’s no better place to work than a Synagogue.

In a place like ours—alive with the rhythms of Jewish life—every day brings something new, often unexpected.

For those just stepping into the project of Jewish communal experience, a fair question is often asked: What makes a Synagogue a Synagogue? Is it the programs we run? The presence of a Torah? The services we hold? Is it something about the building itself?

In my view, two essential elements must come together for Jewish community to flourish within the framework of congregational life: the physical space we share and the relationships we build within it.

The space matters. There’s something powerful about walking into a place that feels warm, inviting, open—and ultimately, familiar. As creatures of habit, we find comfort in knowing where we’ll sit, how to find what we need, and recognizing the subtle features of the rooms that hold our stories. We carry memories of weddings we’ve danced at, lectures we’ve attended, and loved ones we’ve honored in a space that spans generations. Yes, the physical structure of a congregation matters.

But the Torah teaches, “Make Me a sanctuary, and I will dwell among them”—not “in it,” but “among them.” The place matters because of what it holds: people, connection, community.

And that brings us to the second essential piece: relationships.

Our relationships with one another are the foundation of

Sarah Malks, who has recently joined our professional staff as our new Assistant Director of Jewish Life and Learning

“One of the things I’m most proud of over the past several years is the collaborative team culture we’ve built.”

Which is why we are so excited to welcome someone new into that home: Sarah Malks, who has recently joined our professional staff as our new Assistant Director of Jewish Life and Learning. Among her many responsibilities, Sarah will lead and grow our five-day-a-week afterschool program, KESHER. Over the past two years, we’ve seen how transformative the KESHER program has been—for our kids, for their families, and for our entire congregation. With Sarah’s leadership, we’re excited to take it to even greater heights.

Sarah brings warmth, professionalism, and an intuitive sense of what makes a Synagogue thrive. She understands that our Jewish world is shaped not only by curriculum, but by kindness—by the way we show up for one another.

She’s already hit the ground running, and I know she will be met with the same spirit of collaboration and welcome that defines our community. As we navigate change and transition together, let’s continue to nurture the spaces and relationships that carry us—always—in the direction of hope.

everything we do. The partnerships between myself and our professional team. The collaborations between lay leaders and staff. The bonds between teachers and students, between kids in the hallways and the adults who greet them by name.

That’s the magic of a Synagogue. We are more than just a building—we are a web of dynamic relationships, rooted in trust, mutual learning, and shared purpose. One of the things I’m most proud of over the past several years is the collaborative team culture we’ve built. People stick around— not out of obligation, but because they love the work, the mission, and the people they get to spend their days with.

That’s what makes a Synagogue more than just a structure.

That’s what makes it a home.

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Join us May 12 Booksmart: The Survivor Wants to Die at the End with Adam Silvera The Synagogue welcomes Adam Silvera on Monday, May 12 at 7:00 pm to discuss his third book of the USA Today and #1 New York Times mega-bestselling They Both Die at the End series

Bat Mitzvah of Lyla HammerWolle Lyla Mackenzie Hammer-Woller, daughter of Stevan Woller and Courtney Hammer, will be called to the Torah as B’nai Mitzvah on Saturday morning, May 3rd, 2025 at Congregation B’nai Emunah.

This date corresponds with the 5th day of Iyar, 5785.

Lyla is a student at Edison Preparatory Middle School after completing education starting with Mizel Jewish Day School and Patrick Henry grade school. She is blessed with 3 wonder sisters and a great brother, Solomon & Sarah Woller, Avery Hammer and Aliyana Grace.

Lyla enjoys swinging out back, morning, noon and night while listening to music and singing along. When not swinging, she delights in her brother teaching her chess and riding skateboard. Lyla’s next favorite thing is shopping with her sister Sarah. Lyla is thrilled to be studying with Alin Avitan and Morah Levitt along with realizing the importance of a Jewish education.

The community is invited to join Lyla and her family for services at 9:30 a.m. in person at Congregation B’nai Emunah or in the Synagogue Zoom Room. The meeting ID is, as always, 918 583 7121.

Bikkur Cholim Many thanks to the volunteers who helped cook, bake and deliver to our members and friends in their times of need: Randee Charney Nancy Cohen Dr. Rick Cohen Karen Grimes Art Lasky Jackie Lasky Terry Marcum Debbie Zelkind Garret Zelkind 6

Anna Reeves Jarvis’ mother, Ann

From Morah Sara Levitt WHAT’S JEWISH ABOUT MOTHER’S DAY May is here and with it comes a slew of celebrations!

Memorial Day, Cinco de Mayo, the end of the school year and Mother’s Day, all take their place each year on our Google calendars. Even now as a mother myself, the holiday has never really sat well with me. Shouldn’t we always honor our mothers?

And how does brunch and roses really help us celebrate?

It turns out however, that Mother’s Day celebrations in its earliest form were about much more than brunch and flowers. Towards the end of the Civil War an effort by a woman named Ann Jarvis from Virginia to bring peace and unity to our country laid the groundwork for this modern celebration of mothers. Ann began her work with families and children to improve public health in her own community. When the Civil War erupted, her work shifted to trying to bring peace and unity in her divided community. She insisted that women, and particularly mothers, were the key to bringing people together to achieve peace. After her death, her daughter Anna worked tirelessly to establish a day to honor her mother Ann and all of the hard-working mothers in our country. Anna

petitioned President Wilson and in 1914, just before the start of World War I, Mother’s Day became an official holiday of the United States.

While the history and founding of Mother’s Day is seemingly non-religious, it speaks deeply to our Jewish values.

Threaded throughout the Torah and our other texts, stories of mothers, motherhood and infertility, highlight our traditions’ acknowledgement of the challenges and beauty of motherhood.

Embedded within the first ten of our commandments is the obligation to honor your parents, uplifting this value even more.

The American history of Mother’s Day as one of peace and unity during war, is more Jewish than I ever knew! Its roots in a call for peace, mirror our own prayers and work towards peace in a way that makes me love this holiday even more.

This Mother’s Day, we’ll see many of you at our final day of ShulSchool. We’ll celebrate another fantastic year of learning and community. On that special day, we can also honor the incredible women in our lives, mothers or otherwise, who nurture our community and who work towards peace for all.

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Bat Mitzvah of Mason Zelkind Mason “Maci” Olivia Zelkind, daughter of Deborah and Garrett Zelkind, will become a bat mitzvah on Saturday, May 24th, 2025. This date corresponds with the 26th day of Iyar, 5785. She is the youngest sister to Nathan (Cami), Joshua and Gavin. Mason is the granddaughter of Joseph and Judy (of blessed memory) Kleiner of Tulsa, OK, Glen and Bobbie Zelkind of Aurora, CO and Bennie Zelkind of Louisville, KY. Mason is a seventh-grade honor student at Jenks Middle School. She plays clarinet in the school band and has a deep passion for art, taking private lessons to refine her skills. Mason loves animals and has a unique talent

for identifying dog breeds. But above all, her favorite way to spend her free time is with her best friends-her brothers.

We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Rabbi Dan Kaiman and Morah Sara Levitt for providing a warm, nurturing and always engaging education. A special thank you to Greg Raskin for his unwavering patience, infectious humor, and invaluable tutoring skills.

The community is invited to join the Zelkind family for services at 9:30 a.m. in person at Congregation B’nai Emunah or in the synagogue Zoom room. The meeting ID is, as always, 918-583-7121.

A First Milestone SHELLI WRIGHT The wonderful thing about being an educator is that our work begins with an unshakable belief in the future. At B’nai Emunah Preschool, we step into the classroom every day with confidence in our children’s capacity to learn, to grow, to care, and to make a difference in the world that they live in. “Peace begins with Me” is the mantra said every day, in every classroom.

On May 29th, we will celebrate the graduation of my twentieth class of Prekindergarten students at B’nai Emunah Preschool. Twenty-one tiny world changers will leave us for schools all over Tulsa, public and private. While we are excited about the learning and growth that is in store for them, our fervent hope is that every classroom that they occupy will be a community of hope—growing their muscles of imagination, curiosity, kindness, laughter, playfulness, honesty, and joy— the hallmarks of B’nai Emunah Preschool.

Imagination and Curiosity are the foundation of critical

thinking. Together, they shape a child’s questions and journey toward deeper understanding.

Kindness fosters a sense of community and connection.

When you walk in the Preschool, the first words you see are “A Community of Kindness.” This kindness fosters empathy, strength, and shared humanity.

Playfulness—Through play, children learn to experiment, strategize, and find solutions to challenges, developing critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Honesty—Establishing honesty as the norm fosters an environment where trust is the natural outcome. Developing a sense of integrity and self-worth begins with honesty.

Joy is central to everything we do at B’nai Emunah Preschool.

With immense JOY, we send these twenty-one tiny humans into the care of others to find, share and strengthen hope for a better world. We will gather in the Sanctuary at 10:30am on Thursday, May 29th. All are welcome to attend this celebration.

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MAY | IVAR–SIVAN Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday 5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv

Thursday

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Noon Moral Clarity in an Age of Confusion

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Friday

5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv 7:54 PM Candle lighting

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Saturday

9:30 AM Shabbat Morning Services 9:30 AM Bat Mitzvah of Lyla Woller 8:55 PM Havdalah Torah: Parashat TazriaMetzora

Yom HaAtzma'ut

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9:00 AM ShulSchool

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11:30 AM Lifelong Learners @ Zarrow Pointe

7 PM Blatt + Blue: The Brutalist

5:30 PM Shabbat Shalom

9:30 AM Shabbat Morning Services

4:00 PM Hebrew Language Lab

5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv 8:00 PM Candle lighting

5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv 6:30 PM Midrasha at TI

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9:00 AM ShulSchool

7:00 PM Booksmart: Adam Silvera

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Torah: Parashat Achrei Mot-Kedoshim

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5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv

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5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv

9:30 AM Shabbat Morning Services

8:06 PM Candle lighting

Pesach Sheni

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Lag BaOmer

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Blatt + Blue: The Brutalist its fifth anniversary, the series expresses the Synagogue’s commitment to an inclusive and pluralistic vision. Difficult films deserve thoughtful conversation. Film and television enthusiasts David Blatt and Alice Blue begin each session with a summary of the featured material, which means that you’ll be able to follow the conversation even if you have to delay your viewing of the material itself. After that, it’s questions and comments from the Zoom Room audience.

Join the moderated discussion in the Synagogue Zoom Room.

The Zoom meeting ID is 918 583 7121, and the session will conclude at 8:00 p.m. If there is a film or broadcast you would like to screen, please call Richie Bolusky, Synagogue Program Director, at (918) 583-7121 with your suggestions. If you are the kind of person who plans ahead, please note that we will tackle Kidnapped: The Abduction of Edgardo Mortara in June.

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9:07 PM Havdalah

Torah: Parashat Emor

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5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv

5:30 PM Holy HoeDown Annual Fundraiser

5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv

9:30 AM Shabbat Morning Services

THURSDAY, MARCH 8 Brady Corbet’s epic film, The Brutalist, was rightly honored in this year’s awards season. The protagonist, Laszlo Toth, is a peculiar hero, both hollowed and enriched by the experience of suffering. The film feels like a window on the Jewish psyche, forcing us to consider the place of Jews in the Western World, as both perennial target and indispensable creator.

Our conversation about the film will take place on Thursday, May 8 at 7:00 p.m. The film is now available on Amazon Prime for a modest fee. Please let us know if you have any difficulty locating the program.

You can browse Rabbi Fitzerman’s notes and his review of the film on “Thoughts and Prayers,” his new opinion page, at marcboonefitzerman.org/blog/review-the-brutalist.

Blatt + Blue is the longest-running project at the Synagogue dating from the height of the pandemic. Now having reached

9:01 PM Havdalah

8:11 PM Candle lighting

9:30 AM Bat Mitzvah of Mason Zelkind 9:30 PM Havdalah Shabbat Mevarchim Chodesh Sivan Torah: Parashat BeharBechukotai

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4:00 PM Hebrew Language Lab

10:30 AM Kadima Graduation

5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv

9:30 AM Shabbat Morning Services

5:30 PM Mincha/Ma’ariv

Yom Yerushalayim

Preschool & Offices Closed

Rosh Chodesh Sivan

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8:16 PM Candle lighting

9:17 PM Havdalah

Torah: Parashat Bamidbar

Congregation B’nai Emunah 1719 South Owasso Avenue Tulsa, Oklahoma 74120 tulsagogue.com

Non-Profit Organization U.S. Postage

PAID

Tulsa, Oklahoma Permit No. 587

YAHRTZEIT CALENDAR, 3 IYAR THROUGH 4 SIVAN Thursday, May 1 – 3 Iyar Miriam Abravanel Sharna Frank Friday, May 2 – 4 Iyar Srul Gornic Dorothea Beatrice Rozen Saturday, May 3 – 5 Iyar Irene Rothbaum Sunday, May 4 – 6 Iyar Francis (Melton) Carlson Rae Schechtman Moran Abe Smith Monday, May 5 – 7 Iyar Dr. Meyer Pedott Isaac Roubein Tuesday, May 6 – 8 Iyar Celia Fischbein Shirley Greenberg Dorothy Katz Irene Kopelman Wednesday, May 7 – 9 Iyar Phyllis Plost Sonia Thelma Yasgur Schwartz Thursday, May 8 – 10 Iyar Maurice Frank Bess Fell Wolfe Green Ray Bryan Miller Friday, May 9 – 11 Iyar Morris Goltz Mildred Leff Paull

Saturday, May 10 – 12 Iyar Eleanor Dorskind Marcia Borg Jankowsky Jean Pedott Zdenka Weinberg Sunday, May 11 – 13 Iyar Fuller Scott Monday, May 12 – 14 Iyar Max Eichenberg Sam Kosloff Barbara K. Selzer Patricia Sokol Tuesday, May 13 – 15 Iyar Hans Eichler Jonathan Jeffy Isidore S. Pertofsky Rose Storch Wednesday, May 14 – 16 Iyar Solomon Lack Harriet Mizel Tannenbaum Thursday, May 15 – 17 Iyar Etta Silberg Friday, May 16 – 18 Iyar Jeanette Frieden Theodore Geffen Julie Jackson Saturday, May 17 – 19 Iyar Rose Perl Raymond Stekoll Joseph E. Stiefel

Sunday, May 18 – 20 Iyar Mary Ann Bessolo Betty J. Kaiser Helen Dan Spector Monday, May 19 – 21 Iyar Morris Brietfeld Manuel Brown August Gabel Nettie Lederman Henry Melville Mason Gershon Weisman Wednesday, May 21 – 23 Iyar Estelle Aberson William Fitzerman Miriam Kahn Leah Lapkin Zoltan Sollosy Sam Winer Thursday, May 22 – 24 Iyar Gary Leff Ruth Poznik Joshua Price Friday, May 23 – 25 Iyar Cy Gershone Philip Oberstein Saturday, May 24 – 26 Iyar Julius Bergman Nathan Dundee Herbert Kallmeyer Jane Kaufman

Sunday, May 25 – 27 Iyar Isaac Alcouloumre Gretl Neuwald Ruth Marie Watt Florence Wolens Monday, May 26-28 Iyar Lila Berger Sarah Goodall Bessie Markovitz Meyer Miller Pauline Rabinovitz Tuesday, May 27 – 29 Iyar Beatrice Newman Yetta Zolt Wednesday, May 28 – 1 Sivan Ida Taxon Thursday, May 29 – 2 Sivan Joann Darby Albert Weise Friday, May 30 – 3 Sivan Leah Kraus Richard “Dick” Raskin Saturday, May 31 – 4 Sivan Hazel Loftis Albert Mizel Mary Rosenstein Zeligson

May their souls be bound up in the bond of life everlasting. Please note that each yahrtzeit begins at sunset on the day before the date listed.