Fall 2009 - Issue 6

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Featured Articles

2

FEATURE

The Observer hits the road in what will surely amount to an epic photo album

NATIONAL

Going rogue or off the deep end?

REELS

& MEALS

The man-daters are back...for now

6 26

FOOD CULTURE

Eating Animals, Natalie Portman and in-vitro meat

POETRY

A poem by Matt Maraynes

The Observer has been Tufts’ weekly publication of record since 1895. Our dedication to in-depth reporting, journalistic innovation, and honest dialogue has remained intact for over a century.

Today, we offer insightful news analysis, cogent and diverse opinion pieces, and lively reviews of current arts, entertainment, and sports. Through poignant writing and artistic elegance, we aim to entertain, inform, and above all challenge the Tufts community to effect positive change.

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30

O

Editors

Contents

December 7, 2009 Volume CXIX, Issue 6 The Observer, Since 1895 www.TuftsObserver.org

EDITOR DITOR-IN-CHIEF

Daniel aniel Rosen Ros

MANAGING ANAGING EDITORS

Marysa arysa Lin L Lauren auren Mazel PRODUCTION DIRECTOR

Joshua Aschheim ART DIRECTOR

Ryan Stolp SECTION EDITORS

Katie Boland Katie Christiansen Zachary Foulk Michael Goetzman Micah Hauser Zachary Laub Eliza Mills Will Ramsdell Caitlin Schwartz PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Elizabeth Herman COPY EDITOR

Kristen Barone ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS

Danielle Carbonneau Kate Grifths Karrie Larsson Carly Machlis Cara Paley Daniela Ramirez Isobel Redelmeier Brian Wolf LEAD ARTIST

Alyce Currier LAYOUT DIRECTOR

Avery Matera ASSISTANT LAYOUT EDITORS

Meg Boland Charlee Corra David Schwartz Natalie Selzer Daniel Weinstein Alyssa Wohl BUSINESS MANAGERS

Jason Clain Max Zarin

2 FAway We Go, by Zachary Foulk and Eliza Mills 6 NGoing Rogue or Going off the Deep End, by Molly Rubin P C My Love: Vampires for Virginity, by Cara Paley 8 Suck 10 EJust Sleep on It, by Madeline Christensen L to Formals, by Michelle Zhang 11 CFrom Frats L Should We Serve?, by Ariana Siegel 12 CWhich Community L Homestay, by Katie Boland 13 CThe Ultimate L C is Your House, by Catherine Nakajima 14 mI-house C

by Ryan Stolp 19 PCultural&Exchange, G G Blunt Truth, by Gregory Beach 20 The L C Goes Trayless, by Gregory Beach 21 Tufts 21 CWarning:LPost-Modern When Stoned, by Reggie Hubbard &E In Concert, by Ruth Tam 22 AStar Wars: F C Meat or Not to Meat: The Vegan Ethic, by Brian Wolf 23 To 24 ATuned&In:E A Tufts Radio Review, by Daniel Heller 25 WJerk It Out,C by Katie Lazarski 26 RA Date&withM Dan(ny): The “Talk About Our Feelings” Date, by Dan Rizzo & Daniel Weiner &P Called, by Meg Boland 28 PYou Never &P Inquisition, by Izzy Star 29 PThird Floor P

by Matt Maraynes 30 PRomance&Porn, 32 Hbunchofguys, by Alyce and Malcolm EATURE

ATIONAL

OP

ULTURE

DUCATION

AMPUS

IFE

AMPUS

IFE

AMPUS

IFE

AMPUS

IFE

ETEY

HUCK

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REEN

AMPUS

IFE

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NTERTAINMENT

OOD

ULTURE

RTS

NTERTAINMENT

AY OFF

EELS

AMPUS EALS

OETRY

ROSE

OETRY

ROSE

OETRY

ROSE

UMOR

Contributors Gregory Beach Madeline Christensen Zara Fishkin Daniel Heller Lauren Herstik Brendan Johannsen

Katie Lazarski Laura Liddell Matt Maraynes Catherine Nakajima Cara Paley Rebecca Plante

Michael Reiss Dan Rizzo Molly Rubin Ariana Siegel Izzy Star Ruth Tam

Danny Weiner Matt Whitehead Brian Wolf Michelle Zhang Cover Graphic by Ryan Stolp

Since

1895

AWAY WE GO

OFF CAMPUS

try We an an co tha

Sta lik po wo co ma int sta ex all can eig set ad to rep by is

LAURA LIDDELL

BY

I

ZACHARY FOULK & ELIZA MILLS

s there any greater sound then the chime of a bell followed by an announcement of “now boarding”? Many college students would say no, especially those of us at Tufts, where travel seems to constantly be on everyone’s mind. It’s no surprise that at a campus whose most popular major is International Relations, the majority of us want to go to far-off, exotic places; what better time to explore than when you’re young? Built up as the ultimate collegiate experience, studying abroad offers a distinct change in scenery, freedom, memories, and ultimately your favorite Facebook profile picture.

On the other hand, is taking a semester off really the best option for curing our wanderlust? What about the other options, like community service trips, taking classes in Talloires, or travelling for pleasure? This issue will explore the decisions our peers have faced and the reasoning behind the choices that were made.

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THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

Before moving into specics, consider the factors that come into play in deciding to venture forth into the wild blue yonder.

While it’s understandable to think of going abroad as an eye-opening break from the ordinary, there is a more serious side of the experience.

From multinational corporations to international climate agreements, developing a global perspective is a cornerstone to success in everything from business to medicine. We can no longer understand a single issue without evaluating it across cultures and across nations. If we are to advance as a human race, we need to work together.

Known as internationalism, this ideal places prominently in a Tufts education; it is also captured in the idea of studying abroad. Spending an extended time travelling in another country does more than just increase language skills and familiarity with a particular city or town. We see ourselves as Americans and begin to realize, especially for those who have not ventured outside the coun-

OFF CAMPUS try, that we are only a small part of a large world.

We begin to visualize how interactions work on an international scale on an economic, diplomatic, and cultural level. Furthermore, we see that other countries have very different views of Americans than we have of ourselves.

Sooner or later, China will eclipse the United States in economic power. Developing countries like India and Brazil will take the stage as world powers and bump elbows with the developed world. Climate change will require leadership from countries all over the globe, not only America. No matter what we’re studying and where our future interests lie, we will all need to develop an understanding of this global context— foreign language exposure, culture exposure, and ultimately travel all accomplish this goal. As once distinctly American industries and careers move overseas and foreign language proficiency becomes a valuable asset, does studying abroad have more far-reaching advantages? In a few decades, will it be insufficient to just speak English? Will the United States be replaced, as have all dominant powers in the past, by a rising challenger?

Considering the other side to all of this, there is certainly something to be said for staying in

Medford. The extra Tufts semester gained by staying on campus can be put to use taking classes we wouldn’t have had the chance to take otherwise.

There would be no worries about credits transferring, finishing out that minor, or all the extra-curricular opportunities that are forgotten as soon as we cross the US border.

There are plenty of ways to see the world without taking a semester to study in another country.

Many Tufts students choose to travel strictly for pleasure, or to go abroad entirely separately from Tufts to study for themselves. Not to mention the opportunities to explore that are right in front of us— Boston offers up cultural learning opportunities, and there’s definitely something to be said for hopping on a train, bus, or bike to see our community in a new light.

As many of us prepare to study abroad, we must consider the added value of an off-campus semester to our academic careers, personal growth, and overall enjoyment of the college experience.

Looking into all our options and finding other ways to escape Medford to explore a rapidly changing, increasingly interconnected world is crucial to determining how we really want to broaden our world view. O

hat he

ng ry, ce. nal ecom nd res hu-

ces apan oes milurlly unDecember 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

3

OFF CAMPUS

NOT SO FAR AWAY BY

MATT WHITEHEAD

D

eciding to participate in the Tufts-in-Washington program over the more popular European study abroad experience was not easy. However, after a week or two in the District, I realized that I had made the right choice. I worked as an intern at a prestigious thinktank, learned about the intricacies of American politics through various seminars, and wrote a comprehensive research paper on the youth vote in national elections. Conducting research for my paper was perhaps the most fullling experience, as it afforded me the opportunity to work with thinktank academics, professors, advocacy groups, and non-prot organizations.

In addition to these academic endeavors, I was able to witness the historic 2008 presidential election as well as the post-election hysteria rsthand. I also visited friends at Georgetown, GW, American, UMaryland, and UVA, experiences that I never would have had had I gone abroad. Furthermore, while DC does have a decidedly federal and political feel, it is never short on all sorts of activities, and I tried to take advantage of all of them. For example, I visited the Smithsonian Air and Space museum, toured part of the White House, went to a Wizards’ basketball game, heard famed journalist Bob Woodward speak, saw a Paul van Dyk concert, and went to the top of the Washington monument. While I did not technically study abroad, I did study off-campus and I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Washington, DC. O

SPRING BY

BRENDAN JOHANNSEN

A

famous individual once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” Okay, so the Forest Gump metaphor is a bit overdone, but when it comes to studying abroad, it’s pretty accurate.

We’ve all heard the laundry lists of nonconformist cities and countries that Tufts students have traveled to for their semesters abroad (at times, it sort of seems like a competition. “India? Please. That’s so bourgeois. I went to Burkina Faso.”)

Despite the hype however, there’s genuine utility, although an inherent risk in electing for a non-Tufts program. On the one hand, it’s one of the few opportunities you’ll have while studying abroad to interact soley with individuals who have never eaten in Dewick or had a panic attack in Tisch. To be sure, that was probably the nicest part of electing to spend spring semester in Vienna, Austria—all the other Tufts German majors were in Tuebingen. It gave me the opportunity to truly experience life outside the Tufts bubble. Although there were a few times when that was for the negative (not everyone, after all, has received the benets of a Tufts education,) time away from Tufts, and Tufts students, can denitely be for the better. O 4

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

Y

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sm are ph ou pra an dic

tufts student their abroad e near an SORT OF FAR AWAY

BY LAUREN HERSTIK

S

evem hundred Czech crowns please.” I left my tram pass in the bag I had taken to the zoo earlier, and as a punishment the glassy-eyed Czech ofcial in a gloried crossing guard uniform was demanding that I pay up. It was 11 PM on a Tuesday; I was on my way home from Kino Aero, an art house cinema on the outskirts of Prague. Clearly I was no naïve tourist, wideeyed and yelling for the location of “that clock!” (Old Town Square, center of the city, not worth the hype.) As such, I made every effort to employ my limited Czech to convince the tram police that I knew my rights and he couldn’t charge me. “Jsem studentka. Jsem Americanka… Ne mam korunas.” Essentially, “I’m an American student. I have no money. I’m waving my hands a lot.”

He charged me anyway.

Over the course of the next six weeks I navigated the labyrinthine halls of the living Kafka novel that is Czech bureaucracy. Several neighborhoods, metro authority ofces, and icy interactions with postal workers later, I received a notice in the mail that I would receive my refund in the mail. And a couple of weeks after that, I did. It’s the small triumphs that make ex-pat life in the Czech Republic fun. O

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OFF CAMPUS

FAR, FAR AWAY BY

Y

MICHAEL REISS

emen is a place where ancient values and traditions are in sharp contrast with modern afictions, an environment in which a feeling of jamaal ma’sawia, tragic beauty, subtly pervades every experience. Seemingly innocent elements of routine reect the country’s most pressing issues, such as waking up to the roar of the water truck relling our dorm’s empty tanks at ve in the morning, the sharp rhythmic clangs of a metal wrench being banged against a wheelbarrow full of natural gas tanks, the preferred fuel for heating ”fool,” the staple carb-dense lentil stew, or customary volcanic temperatures.

Walking along the narrow cobblestone paths of the markets, one is caught between worlds. On the right-hand side of the street, blacksmiths hammer away repairing household items or preparing brassware to be sold in storefronts. Past the metal workers, the spice merchants are barely visible, perched on tiny stools above massive barrels of every shade of red, orange, and yellow. Telecom shops crammed with tiny phone booths dot the left side of the street where families chat with migrant worker relatives dispersed throughout the Middle East. We reach our destination as dusk falls over Sana’a. From the top of the Burj Al-Salam, one of the city’s few luxury hotels, we hear the evening call to prayer emanate from the same minarets it has for the last few thousand years. Surveying the city, ribbons of neon-green and pink light climb ancient prayer towers like ivy, easily distinguishing mosques from the surrounding buildings, except in the middle of one of the many unpredictable rolling blackouts that plague Yemenis several times a day. O

SUMMER

nts reflect on T ad experiences, and far

oo niom derth ice am ”

fka acin in

SPRING BREAK

BY DANIEL ROSEN

W

hat’s better than going abroad? Staying at Tufts for the semester and visiting your worldly friends during spring break. I never wanted to leave Tufts for a semester — I’m awful at foreign languages, and why would I want to spend an eighth of my limited time at college away from campus? With that in mind, in March 2009, I packed my bags and jetted off on a whirlwind tour of three cities — Vienna, Prague, and Istanbul.

Think about it: visiting your friends abroad affords many of the benets of being abroad without any of the negative consequences. Instead of spending weeks aimlessly getting my bearings, I got a free tour of the greatest sights, best food, and most active nightlife the city. I stayed for free, ate on the cheap, and didn’t have to worry about student visas, transferring credit, or crazy landlords.

There is no doubt that going abroad has its appeal, yet there’s nothing wrong with wanting to maximize your few years at Tufts. Letting your friends take the semester or year off, with the understanding that you get to stop by, of course, is the best of both worlds. Just make sure they’re going somewhere worth visiting. O

BY LAURA LIDDELL

here really is no way to describe the Tufts in Talloires experience.

Amazing? Yes. Fun? Yes. Intellectually stimulating? Of course. But this doesn’t cover it. It doesn’t encompass the feeling you get when somebody thinks you are a local for the rst time and asks for directions. Or the joy of sitting lazily under a tree on a rainy Talloires beach, just reading and eating French bread. How are you supposed to describe skiing down the steep mountain using your feet on the overnight hike? It’s impossible.

I know this is going to be a trip I talk about for the rest of my life. On my last night, as I sat on the Menthon boardwalk, I reected upon my experiences.People always say you change as you live away from home, and as corny as it sounds, you do. I went on the trip knowing no one and not knowing what to expect. I left with a new group of friends, experiences, and knowledge. I managed to get to Geneva and Lyon on trains while only speaking French. I made lifelong friends with a family I lived with for six weeks. I completed my natural science credit with a class named Flowers of the French Alps, seriously. I even helped teach children at a French school. You learn an incredible amount within those six weeks, about the French culture, your own culture, and yourself. Iit was an amazing, unforgettable six weeks that I will talk about for the rest of my life. O December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

5

NATIONAL

GOIN ROUE, GOIN FF THE DEEP N A M E  I C A’ S FA S C I N AT I O N W I T H S A  A H PA L I N BY

MOLLY RUBIN

I

ALL ART BY

ALYCE CURRIER

f there is one phrase echoing through the min minds of the Democratic Party, it’s the voice of one of those creepy murder kids fr from a slasher movie whispering, “She’s ba baaack.” After the 2008 presidential election election, a lot of us had hoped former Governor Sarah Palin (R-AK) was gone for good. We’ We’d had enough of her pit bull jokes, her gungun-slinging compatriots, and her constant critic criticism of the liberal elite.

“Depending on what side of the polit“Depend ical spectrum you’re on, she does and says a lot of things to make people’s jaws drop.

It’s like watch watching a car wreck,” says Professor Debora Deborah Schildkraut of Tufts’ Department of P Political Science, who specialAmerican politics. We cannot stop izes in Ameri watching, she says, “even though it may be gruesome or rrepulsive.”

However, now that midterm elections are on the hor horizon and there seems to be a slump in mark marketable politicians, Sarah Palin has recaptu recaptured the hearts of the politi-

cal pundits, and it almost seems as if she’d never left.

Sarah Palin has been, if anything, a full-blown media force. She’s relatable.

She’s charismatic. She has the perfect dysfunctional family. She’s attractive (to a point). What could be wrong? What most of news media seems to forget is that she hasn’t really done anything. Ever.

According to Professor Schildkraut, “For conservatives, [Palin] is a response to how prominent Democrats are right now.

She is the opposite extreme, and that’s incredibly appealing.”

In the political world, she has become a quasi-celebrity. We love her crazy baby names (Track, Trig, Bristol, Sheeran, and Willow). We love her down-home hockey mom grins and the way she can absolutely rock that Chanel pantsuit and a hunting rie at the same time. It makes sense then that Sarah Palin would nd a need, nay, a public mandate to write a tell-all book where she tells “all” of her lack of a political career.

Resumé of a Maverick 1996

6

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

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Pa it tea ho th ily co yo lea ing by

fac tal na Wa

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2002 SARAH PALIN SERVES AS MAYOR OF WASILLA, ALASKA FOR TWO THREE-YEAR TERMS

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DECEMBER

4, 2006

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06

NATIONAL Palin served six years as the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and then another three as governor, resigning from her post in the middle of the term. Why then, did she receive a ve million dollar advance to write Going Rogue: An American Life? The answer, friends, is not so that the American public can learn all about the intricacies of Alaskan oil renery procedures or just why all those pot holes in Wasilla took so long to be lled in. The 2008 election gave birth to the new kind of politician also known as the superstar.

As Professor Schildkraut reminds us, this phenomenon is nothing new. “[Palin] is denitely a product of things like television, but that’s been around for 50 years.

There is a need to look good in order to campaign well, to capture the imagination of voters.”

This brand of politician is also connected to the increasingly important and potentially distorting role primaries can play in elections, in which, according to Schildkraut, “there is a need for someone to connect with voters.”

Fox News has been sugar coating Palin’s book campaign from the moment it caught wind of the release. The news team streamed pictures of midwestern housewives camped-out, holding signs of their political heroine’s face. They goofily grinned as they clutched three or four copies to their hearts, shouting, “We love you, Sarah!” into the camera. Upon its release, the team cackled at the fact that Going Rogue outsold Hilary Clinton’s memoir by 100,000 copies in the rst week.

With all of this new attention, her face plastered on every syndicated news talk show, and hype surrounding the Palin name a full year after her brief star in the Washington sky was thought to be extin-

PALIN’S TERM AS GOVERNOR OF ALASKA AUGUST

29, 2008

(PALIN ANNOUNCED AS MCCAIN’S VP )

guished, you would think Palin would use her newfound celebrity to further her political motives and push her conservative platform. Think again. The next logical step in the Palin camp? Enter the crossnation mall tour. “I thank God for your honesty and plain common sense,” one woman writes on Palin’s Facebook page.

“Sarah Palin for President, you have my vote,” writes another. It can’t be ignored: Sarah Palin’s book has gained her national, commercial appeal.

And along the same vein as a pop musician who launches a solo career, Palin spends a good portion of her book criticizing the very same conservative machine that made her a national commodity. Palin was often criticized for being the major factor that lost the election for McCain, but, as any hockey mom out there would do, this political pitbull is ghting back.

The book digs at chief McCain strategists for being unorganized, disconnected from m the American public, and completely controlling of both her policy positions and d her personal life. Though this inane strategy might seem like she’s biting the hands that fed her, Palin’s offensive tactic seems to be working. She’s not going rogue, she’ss going for broke.

Mainstream America doesn’t seem to remember that this is “down-home-allAmerican” mom is the same mom who o ran the city of Wasilla into a major decit,, spent a reported $500,000 of campaign n money on new clothes and quit her postt as the Alaskan governor mid-term. Palinlovers and Tea-Party supporters see only a champion of all those “Joe the Plumber”” types as well as someone who was betrayed by the elitist media.

As for a Palin 2012 ticket? “I thinkk she’s going to try; I doubt she will bee

JULY

29, 2009

(RESIGNATION FROM POST AS GOVERNOR)

successful,” says Professor Schildkraut.

“The Republican party right now is really divided. We don’t know which side will dominate. I think it’s possible the extreme side could win the nominee but not the election.”

So what is she doing back on the scene? Who knows. Hopefully, Palin has retreated so far into the realm of celebstatus that becoming a viable entity in the 2012 election will seem crazy even to Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, who have been her most vocal supporters from the start. Whatever happens, Sarah Palin will be remembered for accomplishing the impossible. She’s won the hearts of the public and the political prowess of the pundits with a few lipstick jokes, an adorable pregnant daughter, and the willingness to roguishly pose in hot pants on the cover of Newsweek. O

NOVEMBER

4, 2008

(END OF PRESIDENTIAL RACE)

THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN: MCCAIN/PALIN

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

7

POP CULTURE

Suck my Love: The Twilight craze has captivated American youth.

While the series’ paraphernalia is ubiquitous, its influence may be more than meets the eye. By reminding us of the joy of romance and nonphysical courtship, Twilight is making abstinence sexy.

BY

CARA PALEY

T

he “Twilight craze” is back. On November 20, millions of avid teenagers rushed to the midnight opening of New Moon to gawk and gaze at their favorite blood-sucking vampires on the big screen. New Moon the second lm adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, grossed a whopping $72.3 million, according to the Los Angeles Times.

The exceedingly popular Twilight novels present the fragile relationship between the inhumanly beautiful Edward Cullen and the clumsy, “all-too-human” Bella, who, inconveniently, also happens to be the lusty object of his overwhelming thirst. Out of fear that Edward’s vampire-like instincts will get the best of him upon close physical contact, the eccentric duo abstain from sex for the majority of the series.

Whether it’s the generational-gap (Edward is technically more than 100 years old), or the mere fact that he is of another “species,” resilient to the sex-drives of ohso-human boys, something is for certain: Edwards and Bella experience a mutual love while abstaining from sexual encounters.

And, as numerous studies have shown, this

8

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

makes Twilight-obsessed teenagers want to abstain too.

Julie Dobrow, the director of the Communication and Media Studies program at Tufts, notes that Twilight’s impact on teenage values of abstinence can be explained in terms of a media theory known as agenda-setting. “Basically, it says that while the media does not tell us what to think, it tells us what to think about,” Dobrow explained.

“Media can ‘set our agendas’ with regard to what’s important, normative, or cool.”

According to Dobrow, the extensive research conducted on the topic has garnered much empirical evidence in support of this theory.

While Meyers doesn’t exactly preach pro-abstinence to her teenage audiences, she intricately weaves themes of sexual

restraint and romanticism into her adventurous plots of supernatural vampires and “life-or-death” dilemmas. In introducing this idealized image, Dobrow believes that Meyers has inuenced her readers to consider such concepts in the context of today’s society.

“Any popular series is bound to inu-

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POP CULTURE

V ampires for Virginity ence its viewers and get them thinking about term commitment as more important than certain issues, whether those are how people sexual activity. The project is part of a larger should dress, what kinds of language they “youthography” research study called Ping, should use when talking with peers, or what which has been piecing together values comkinds of behavior are rewarded,” said Do- mon to today’s teens. Studies show how brow.

Twilight’s portrayal of romanticism further The Vancouver Sun describes a research instills these ideals into the hearts of young project, conducted at the University of Mis- girls, who, after gazing into Edward’s goldsouri, that reveals how Twilight has attract- en-brown eyes, are even prone to wait for ed teenager girls to much-forgotten ideals of romance and abstinence. Melissa Click, an assistant professor of communication at the University of Missouri, surveyed 4,000 Twilight fans between the ages of 11 and 70. According to survey results, a good number of fans were inspired by the novel’s presentation of love rooted in pure affection as opposed to anything physical.

Click explains how many of the girls interviewed found it surprisingly refreshing that Edward and Bella couldn’t engage in sexual activity. For them, the couple’s abstinence emphasized DRAWINGS BY REBECCA PLANTE the progressive development of the relationship, founded in lost vales of love and that perfect man, or vampire, to snatch them romance. off their feet.

According to other related studies refThe New York Times author Terrence erenced in the Vancouver Sun, including a Rafferty discloses another societal implica2008 Canada-wide survey that measured the tion of Bella and Edward’s commitment “values” of 500 teenage-girls between 14 to abstinence. According to Rafferty, the and 18, many teens rate passion and long- couple’s decision to abstain reveals a psycho-

logical conict common to adolescents: fear of sex. Bella epitomizes the average teenagegirl fearful of taking that nal step, while Edward represents the fantasized ideal boyfriend, always empathetic and patient with her sexual apprehension. However, Rafferty explains how some have questioned Twilight’s promotion of a rather unrealistic portrayal of teenage relationships; unfortunately for love-struck teenagegirls, that patient, “soulful romantic” type may just be reserved for fantasy.

According to the Vancouver Sun, issues have been raised regarding Edward’s difculty with controlling himself around Bella’s blood, a matter of lifeand-death for the mere mortal. Many argue that, within values of abstaining, there are also subtle implications of irresistibility and lust entwined in the novel.

But despite Edward’s struggle with restraining himself from Bella’s luring human blood, he is successful.

And, despite the inherent difculty of abstaining in moments of lusty vampire-human passion, the relationship remains unconsummated for the majority of the series. As demonstrated by numerous studies, the Twilight series is more than just a trendy fad; soaked with prevalent issues regarding adolescent sexuality, it is a media mechanism capable of impacting society’s cultural values. O December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

9

EDUCATION

JUST SLEEP ON IT BY

MADELINE CHRISTENSON

F

or many college students, a good night’s sleep is often just four and a half hours long on a lumpy dorm mattress after a night fueled by a few mugs of tar-black joe. Anyone who has ever raced to nish a paper before being evicted from the quiet reading room into the three a.m. chill might reasonably curse the day that the phenomenon of sleep was imposed upon humanity.

But a recent study suggests a unique way that sleep can be linked to knowledge retention. Scientists at Northwestern University have reported that playing specic sounds while people slept helped enhanced their memories of individual facts.

Participants in the study were taught to move 50 pictures to assigned locations on a computer screen. Each picture was associated with a different sound. Then the subjects took a nap for 90 minutes or less, during which they heard sounds from some of the pictures. When the participants awoke, none of them could recall which sounds had been played for them, but almost all of them could better remember the correct placement of the pictures for which they had heard the sound cues while they were sleeping.

The study offers more evidence that information can get to the brain even while you sleep. Sleepers are also more sensitive to certain sounds, perhaps jerking awake at the sound of a baby’s whine or an unfamiliar voice. An earlier study had shown that participants who learned a task while smelling a rose scent remembered the task better if they smelled the same scent while they slept. This new research suggests, perhaps for the rst time, that very specic memories can be singled out and enhanced during sleep.

While the new sound study might crack open doors to new methods of enforc10

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

ing knowledge, Tufts professor of biology Harry Bernheim stressed that the study in no way suggests that people can learn in their sleep. “New skills must be learned the old fashioned way: while you are awake and devoting strict attention to the material,” Professor Bernheim wrote in an email. “As Euclid I believe said, ‘There is no royal road to learning geometry’—or anything else for that matter.”

The Northwestern study also contributes to a theory that sleep allows the brain to consolidate memories and process information. Earlier work has suggested that people are better able to remember things if they sleep soon after learning it. Another study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2007, showed college students pairs of elaborately decorated ovals and told them that for each pair, one oval would win out over the other but were not explained the broader hierarchy of the ovals. The students were then tested on how much of the hierarchy they could unravel, with some students given the chance to sleep before they were tested. The

students who had slept were better able to make out the pattern. The study shows how “sleeping on it” can allow the brain to unearth sequences and insights.

The study did not impress everyone. Some neuro-

science experts said that the study’s effects were too minor to be signicant, especially because subjects who were reminded of the sound cues while they were awake did about as well as the sleeping subjects. The study’s authors responded that the study was significant because it showed that this process of recollection could also happen during sleep.

Burdensome though sleep may seem, it may have originally made evolutionary sense. A paper published last August argued that sleep evolved to keep us tucked safely in bed while the predators lurked outside.

Sleep also may have evolved to help organisms conserve energy when resources are scarce. Energy metabolism, caloric demand, and body temperature all decrease when we sleep. It may also exist to give bodies a chance to restore what was lost or damaged when awake. Studies have linked sleep to a stronger immune system against colds, and many ndings suggest that vital functions such as tissue repair and muscle growth occur mostly during sleep.

Delicious and fair-trade though that seventh latte may be, sleep has its benets as well. Maybe if students can manage to associate their Chinese ash cards with different frog calls, they will nally get some muchneeded—and potentially productive—shuteye. O

ZARA FISHKIN

CAMPUS LIFE

FROM FRATS TO FORMALS

L

et me take you to a Friday night on campus. If it’s a good night, maybe three or four frats are throwing open parties with clever, rhyming themes (i.e. “CEOs and Corporate Hoes”). If not, then there’s only one house throwing down, and the whole freshman class is eagerly charging up the front steps, trying to garner favor from the brothers in order to gain entrance. Each time a brother aggressively shouts, “Everyone off the steps or nobody gets in,” a few people step back as ten times as many people surge forward. In this sham of a line, students that were polite and tactful by daylight suddenly turn crass, vulgar, and cutthroat.

The timid become ferocious with ve shots worth of liquid courage; the modest, brazenly use their assets to their advantage; the germophobic forget their fears and claw at the hair of the people in front of them, trying to get just a bit closer to the door. There is no competition like trying to get into a packed frat.

After half an hour of waiting in that mayhem, you nally get your hand X’ed by one of the brothers, and walk through the door, triumphant, victorious, convinced that all your hard work has paid off. You put your $150 Northface in a corner with a hundred other Northfaces, and go downstairs to grab a beer.

Unfortunately, there is already a swarm of tipsy kids around the bar, all grabbing at the holy grail of Natty Light. Coordination is nowhere to be found in this scene, so enough beer has been spilled on your shirt that you’d probably get drunk enough just wringing it out into your mouth. But eventually, you get your hands on a small plastic cup of frothy beer, and you hit the dance oor. You dance

for about ve minutes before you realize it’s two hundred degrees in there. Celsius. You’re sweating out every ounce of water you’ve ever had in your life, and you come to the epiphany that everyone else on the dance oor is equally as disgusting, and you wouldn’t want to hook up with any of them anyway. So you book it out of there in anger, wondering why you went through all that hell only to have a terrible time.

On top of that, you’ve lost your Northface. Crap.

Luckily, there’s an alternative.

In early November, the Leonard Carmichael Society held their Vegas-themed semiformal at the Back Bay Hilton in downtown

desserts were offered, as well as a 21+ cash bar with cocktails and beer (Coronas, not Keystones). Although hundreds of students attended, there was ample room to roam around or relax. Students could chit-chat in a side area away from the pounding of the music, rather than being forced to resort to shrieking as a means of communication.

In addition to these, every semester there are small formals that are specic to different fraternities and sororities. There are three key differences between these events and frat parties: location, environment, and impression.

Formals take place in off-campus hotels, restaurants, or clubs. As a result, students seem to maintain a sense of responsibility that is usually lost in dilapidated frat houses. The environment of these venues—from the lighting to the side areas for sitting and chatting—fosters a sense of socializing with friends and meeting new people through formal introductions, rather than a sense of unwanted intimacy with strangers. The very impression of the college formal encourages students to behave better. In button-ups and suits, glitzy dresses and stilettos, students sip their drinks rather than shotgun their beers. They’re a lot more likely to take necessary measures to keep their dinners down. On the whole, there’s a much classier code of behavior at formals and semi-formals than on Pro Row. If you’re looking to get deliriously wasted on cheap beer so that your hook-up tonight looks at least tolerable (and thinks the same of you), and you’d like to participate in a couple brawls in order to achieve this end, by all means, head on over to a frat. But for a worthwhile experience complete with cocktails, conversation, and class, you’re much better off attending a formal. O SUZI GROSSMAN

BY MICHELLE ZHANG

Boston. Busses were provided to get to and from the hotel. The line (and yes, it was an actual line) to get into the hotel moved swiftly— a look at your ticket and ID, and you’re in. At the door, chips were handed out for pseudogambling tables such as craps and blackjack.

There was a free coat check that ensured reliable recovery of personal possessions. The dance oor was at least four times bigger than that of a dingy frat basement and the venue was well lit so that friends could recognize one another without having to shine their cell phone screens on each other’s faces.

The IGC formal at the Cambridge Hyatt was another large-scale formal. With a professional DJ and a dance oor in the hotel ballroom, the formal was much like a prom experience, but it was free as opposed to $100 per couple. Cheesecake, fondue, and other

Michelle Zhang is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major.

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

11

OFF CAMPUS

WHICH COMMUNITY SHOULD WE SERVE?

JUDY FLUMENBAUM

BY ARIANA SIEGEL

H

owever beautiful the Medford campus may be, Tufts students cannot stay put. We are always striving to get away. Our campus is littered with signs advertising winter break, spring break and summer break trips abroad, offered by groups from the Institute for Global Learning to Tufts Hillel. We nd every excuse to go abroad: community service, learning a foreign language, research, leave our comfort zone, and of course, studying. According to the Tufts website, almost half of our student population ventures outside the Boston area to study, for fear of restricting their brains to a mundane, American education. Those who remain in Medford for four years may already be abroad. The admissions website reports that, “of the 4,800 undergraduates, 8% are nonUS citizens… nearly 15% of the students are foreign citizens, or American citizens who live overseas.”

And of course, we all know what the most popular major at Tufts is.

But why are we so obsessed with leaving the nest? What is the motivation behind abandoning our cozy perch between Medford and Somerville, where we have so many opportunities to study, grow, do community service, research, and get out of our comfort zone? What is wrong with staying put?

Whether or not half the student body chooses to go abroad may not have an enor12

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

mous impact on the world. But one area of debate that is particularly poignant for a group of internationally minded students such as ourselves is the struggle to decide whether to conduct community service work here or abroad.

This year, I have had an intimate experience with this conict. I was attracted to Tufts over other universities because of the international-mindedness and activism of the students.

Though I have not decided to major in International Relations, I remain interested and involved with international-related activities. This summer, for instance, I traveled with a group of students from Tufts Hillel to Rwanda to visit the Agahozo Shalom Youth Village for Rwandan orphans.

The essential purpose of this trip was to see the type of work that the Joint Distribution Committee was doing abroad and to contribute our own service to its creation. While there, we learned how the village started, befriended the students, and we helped build stadium seating for the soccer eld and decorate buildings with murals and mosaics. At the end of the trip, we wanted to keep helping the village and decided to collectively and individually raise funds. We have sent letters, made phone calls, and held local social gatherings. At Tufts we held the Race 4 Rwanda and the Rwanda Shabbat program.

The people of the village and Rwandans living in Medford commended our services, and we’re pretty proud of ourselves, too; it’s great to help contribute the education and livelihood of indi-

viduals who need it.

During this process, I have been learning about the educational problems in our own country. This semester I took Education for Peace and Justice, a course that illuminates the problems and potential solutions of the education system in the United States. The problems are not only upsetting, they are downright frightening. There is legitimate but unpublicized segregation in public schools, “diverse” institutions may be 99% black and Hispanic, while private schools are lled with the neighborhood’s white children. Many public schools are tragically underfunded, lacking the books and resources students need to learn. Current programs force underperforming students to do drills in preparation for national testing, rather than addressing demonstrated needs. The problems continue: from shootings and violence, to homeosexual intolerance, to lack of health education.

These problems are visible in schools as close as Dorchester. Why are we concerned with students living thousands of miles away?

The debate is this: with so many problems and such limited resources, should we help people in our own country, whose language and customs we can understand and whose needs are familiar to us, or should we help people in other countries whose basic needs may be more severely unattended? Who do we spend our valuable time and talent on? Who should we help?

Right now, many of us are engaged in some form of community service whether that be Tufts Timmy Fund or Peer Health Exchange.

In the future, many of us may become doctors or teachers or donate to social service organizations. Not to brag, but by virtue of being accepted into a respected institution like Tufts, we are necessarily intelligent, able individuals who have the opportunity to contribute to the world.

How do we apportion that ability?

In our Education for Peace and Justice class, where many of us want to pursue a career that directly relates to community service, this debate fell particularly close to home. We argue convincingly for one side or the other, sometimes for both. Ultimately, our conclusion is that each of us must think carefully about where our interests lie and whose needs we are best suited to meet. If we nd our niche, surely we can maximize our potential and make an impact in the world. O Ariana Siegel is a sophomore majoring in English.

I

or nex Is Wh mo fus frie bro ho if y

ply I sp op erl gra be Sp mo and

gu sup sio you rs exp pla ty,” cat alo wh the

eve eith ing Ic my to be

is a tio nu gui of

as ned ay? nd ple usare her selup? in hat ge. ors zaacwe ho rld.

ice cace, We her, on out are ely m-

THE ULTIMATE HOMESTAY

BY KATIE BOLAND

I

’m not going abroad. At Tufts, such a statement usually leads to questions about whether I’m an engineer (absolutely not) or if I’m behind on credits (I could graduate next week if I wanted to) or just blank stares.

I simply don’t want, or need, to go abroad.

What’s fascinating is that this seems to throw most people here into a state of existential confusion. Upon admitting my decision, I’ve had friends recommend programs, professors offer brochures, and even my dean spent a good halfhour trying to persuade me otherwise. I mean, if you could, why wouldn’t you go abroad?

Up until recently, I always expected to apply for abroad programs for my junior spring.

I spent the summer thoroughly researching my options (Shamans in Nepal? Cafés in the Netherlands? Yage in Peru?) before deciding that the grain-based opportunities of Prague suited me best. And let me tell you, I was pretty pumped.

Spring 2010 was going to be the best three months of college. I even bought a guidebook and learned some Czech (Budu mít jiny pivo!).

Over time, however, I began to secondguess my plans. My parents, who are typically supportive of my more unusual academic decisions, posed a critical question: “What would you get abroad that Tufts can’t offer you?” At rst, I was put-off and offered commonplace explanations: living and “learning” in a foreign place, connecting with the “global community,” escaping the “bubble of a liberal arts education.” But they persisted with their parental aloofness, recommending I really think about why I needed to go abroad now; if I could give them truthful, specic reasons they’d approve.

That threw me for a loop. Being a junior, everyone I knew (and I mean everyone) was either blissfully going abroad or bitterly lamenting their inability to. I just assumed that because I could, I would go abroad too. But therein lay my parents’ point: I had merely assumed I was to go abroad without ever discerning if it would be truly benecial.

Though it’s certainly not a downfall, Tufts is an extremely internationally focused institution. As to be expected, an equally extreme number of Tufts kids study abroad. Tour guides and administrators aunt wild statistics of the entire junior class vacating for a year.

Yes, that exotic semester or two of international experience and debauchery is a staple of Tufts life. And though this isn’t a bad thing, it’s become an overwhelmingly expected aspect of college life.

I’m certainly not refuting some of the real benets of living abroad. However, it seems absurd that most of this campus looks at me like a Medusa because I’m not going to be enjoying the splendors of grappa in Sienna next semester. Scusa mi, but I would argue that many never even question the necessity of an abroad semester to begin with. Sure, if you’re an IR major uent in Arabic, I would say going off to Egypt to analyze its political economy is incredibly pertinent. But as a Philosophy and Environmental Studies major with absolutely no background in Czech, I don’t see how gallivanting around Bohemia is intellectually or academically productive. Insanely fun, but I don’t see any career development stemming from it.

But, one could ask, why not look at more appropriate abroad programs? I’ve considered many programs aside from Prague that would suit my interests, but even then, I still believe I can do more with my time by staying at Tufts. I only have so many semesters in good ol’ Med-

ford, and, damnit, I kind of like it here. Yes, I could be jetting off to some obscure corner of the world next month, but instead I’ll be taking classes at SMFA, interning in downtown Boston, developing a Creative Writing minor, and taking up French. And that’s where I think the unique college experience lies, in the intellectual experimentation offered in the classroom.

I may not be carousing in smoky bars with foreigners, but you can be sure as hell that I’ll be learning a whole lot.

Still, a part of me is sad to see most of my friends head off to what will surely be an amazing semester abroad; I can’t help but feeling that I’m missing out on the fun. However, Prague—and the entire world for that matter— will still be there in two years. College, on the other hand, will end. Considering the state of the economy and the, uh, qualications I’ll be graduating with, I’m sure I’m going to have plenty of time post-graduation to explore the fun that the many wonders of the world have to offer. And when I do go abroad, I won’t have classes or transfer-of-credit to deal with either. Win-win. O Katie Boland is a junior majoring in philosophy.

GRISELLE ONG

ng wn for the duobght zed tuhile orare nd rodo her obto du-

CAMPUS LIFE

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

13

CAMPUS LIFE

BY CATHERINE NAKAJIMA

I

n October, the International House had its rst party. When it got too crowded inside, we stopped letting people in at the door.

In a desperate attempt to get in (oh yeah, our party was that good), a cheeky kid came up to us and tried to prove his internationality by describing his family heritage and all the countries he’s been to in the past year. What nerve. I wondered whether that’s what people think of the I-House— you have to be international to get into the parties?

Well, no, you don’t. And you don’t have to be international to live there, either.

All it takes is an interest in different cultures. This year, American students constitute a fourth of the house. I grew up in Los Angeles, but my father’s from Japan; basically, I’m an American with a lot of Japanese habits.

So that’s where it began for me. But my decision to live at the CATHERINE NAKAJIMA I-House was most strongly spurred by the International Orientation program freshman year. I signed up for a chance to meet people from around the world. After all, isn’t college all about meeting people and discovering your niche? The program surpassed my anticipations, as I never expected that the people I’d meet during this orientation would become some of my best friends at Tufts.

But they did, and now I get to live with some of them at the I-House. I’ve always enjoyed being surrounded by people who are different from me, so it’s nice to live in a house representing places like Cuba, Cyprus, and

I

Rwanda. That being said, it’s surprisingly easy to forget that these international housemates have been raised in cultures very different from the American lifestyle. Jonah, for example, is from Zimbabwe. He’s Christian, very good at solving puzzles, and is in the process of engineering a music stereo for the house. Besides what I’ve learned from observations, I don’t know much about his cultural background. That’s because I’ve never asked him what it’s like to be from Zimbabwe or what his biggest culture shocks have been. I’ve been meaning to ask him, but a question like that prompts a life story; between frat parties and midterms, it’s hard to nd an

foxy singing-guitar-playing act to his advantage, Malek is never home, Nikki’s magical ginger candies can cure a stomach ache, Tala’s clarinet tunes can aid any heartache when it’s 4:30 p.m. and the sun is already setting, and Pac is just a really chill guy.

Despite our individual habits and diverse upbringings, we all know what it feels like to be heartbroken, disappointed, stressed, optimistic, happy, secure, sad, and lost. In fact, maybe our varying cultural backgrounds are what highlight the similarities among us. We all know what it’s like to feel unsure of where we belong and where we come from. Identity crisis is prevalent at a house with people like Samira (who was born in the Philippines, went to elementary school in Mexico, high school in Rome, and now lives in Seattle, but she’s Indian), but it is not unique to the international student. Rather, it’s a common complex found in any American college student.

In conclusion, the most interesting part about living here is that fragments of culture unravel not necessarily through anecdotes but through sheer personal habits.

The I-House isn’t about separating international kids from the rest of the campus; it’s about bringing together people that come from all over the world, and that includes America.

The quality I love most about the I-House this year is that people aren’t afraid to point out each other’s differences. It’ll be exciting to discover more about my housemates as the year continues, whether it’s through laughing, bickering, singing, studying, or just silence. O

m -house is your house

14

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

appropriate moment for such a multifaceted question. At the end of the day, we’re all just college students here. I don’t walk into my house everyday and think to myself, “Oh yeah, I live with international students.”

But that’s a good sign. It suggests that culture and nationality are just backdrops to our individual talents and personal quirks. I’ve discovered that Anna-Maria loves coconut-avored dumdums, Eleni’s soothing voice could lull the sickest insomniac to a deep slumber, Manuel is the only one who uses the kitchen, Henry is the only guy I know who can pull off Shakespearean vests, Will knows how to use his

Catherine Nakajima is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major.

VISUALIZING

ABROAD

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

15

elizabeth herman

PA R I S 16

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

CHINA kyle chayka

December 7, 2009

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17

SUDAN sabina carlson

18

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December 7, 2009

DISTRACTIONS I

C

Find 5-letter (or more) words by using the letters in circles that are connected by lines. You can go up, down and sideways. For example, R-A-T-E-S. You can use the same letter more than once in a word, but cannot double up on the letter.

For example: R-A-R-E-R is okay, but T-A-R-R-E-D is not. ! 5- letter words are 1 point ! 6+ letter words are 2 points

A

F O

D

In this puzzle, at least 60 points are possible

L O

T E

M

A S

A

D

.

Got what it takes? Keep track of your score by connecting the dashes on the wordmometer!

I

R

N

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

19

GOING GREEN With support for marijuana legailzation on the rise, Americans may soon have to face...

THE BLUNT TRUTH A

ccording to a 2008 survey conducted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 41% of Americans (102 million) have admitted to using cannabis in their lifetime. In a 2009 Zogby poll, it was reported that 44% of Americans support the legalization of cannabis. To put this in perspective, Americans support this change of policy more than they approve of Congress’ job performance or the war in Afghanistan. If these evergrowing numbers are any indication, we are inevitably heading towards the legalization and regulation of the cannabis/hemp industry. How long will it take until what is rapidly becoming America’s mandate becomes its actual policy? My friends, I have a prediction that cannabis will be legal within America’s borders by 2011. Some may see this as overly optimistic, but hear me out: the key here is our old pal California.

Joey Ramone once said, “We’re out here having fun in the warm California Sun.” Well, Joey, you’re not alone! Americans love to have fun in California. If each state were its own country, California would still be the 7th largest economy in the world. Despite its great nancial and human capital, Califor-

nia has found itself in quite a pickle. With a $27 billion budget decit, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has enacted massive cuts in government spending for education, social safety nets and prison systems.

“It’s time for a debate [on the legalization of marijuana],” the Governator said. “I think all of those ideas of creating extra revenues, I’m always for an open debate on it. I think we ought to study very carefully what other countries are doing that have legalized marijuana and other drugs.”

Enter Representative Tom Ammiano and his bill that proposes legalizing and regulating cannabis in the same way we do with alcohol. It is estimated that his plan would produce $1.4 billion in state tax revenue every year. In a state desperate for income, cannabis taxes could be a vital tool for balancing the budget. Cannabis is practically legal in California already. The medical cannabis laws in California are the most liberal in the U.S. Nearly anyone can get a “recommendation” for medical cannabis, whether it be for insomnia, chronic pain, depression, or whatever “problem” you want to use as an excuse. Medical cannabis dispensaries, or “cannabis clubs,” have surged in numbers and are nding great nancial success in California. Recently, Oakland passed the country’s rst tax on the sale of cannabis, further legitimizing the industry. Why not give up the charade, fully legalize and reap all the benets of this muchneeded policy change?

Additionally, Californians should understand the dangers of keeping cannabis illegal. According to Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard, the Mexican drug cartels receive 65-70% of their revenue RYAN STOLP

20

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

BY

GREGORY BEACH

from cannabis sales. This indicates that if we remove the cannabis industry from the black market, the cartels will be signicantly weakened. The Mexican Drug War, which has so far taken over 15,000 lives since 2006, is threatening the security and stability of California, both at the border and within the heart of the state. One of California’s massive forest res this summer was suspected to have been caused by a Mexican drug cartel’s grow operation hidden in the woods.

Why continue to provide these criminals with prots when the rewards could instead go to Uncle Sam? Prohibition is not stopping anyone from smoking. Rather, it is only creating dangerous externalities. California is the future, friends. There are currently three different legalization proposals collecting signatures to be placed on the ballot, and I’m hoping all three qualify. A recent eld poll shows that 56% of Californians support legalization. It only seems natural to bail out the Golden State with some Acapulco Gold.

Let’s make it happen.

The Justice Department’s decision to end federal prosecution of medical marijuana is a major political victory for us drug reformers. Remember, we currently have a massive federal decit. There needs to be some major scal restructuring once this recession subsides, and I’m sure the Drug War is a major candidate for re-evaluation.

Sen. Jim Webb of Virginia has already proposed a bill, the National Criminal Justice Act of 2009, which will create a bipartisan commission dedicated to prison and justice system reform. Drug laws in particular are being reviewed. When asked by the Huffington Post if legalization of cannabis was being considered, Webb responded, “I think everything should be on the table.” There are both local and national signs of change.

This is not an issue of the left versus the right, either. Right-wingers such as George Will, Glenn Beck, Ron Paul, and William F. Buckley all have pledged their support for legal cannabis. I can smell the change in the air… and it’s dank, yo. O

P

po ha rio cu fre rut in era ev no tho an an rec bis itin

ne ng fudifig’m oll leout ld.

to ariug ea be his ug on. roice an ice are ffwas nk ere ge. he rge F. for he

WARNING: Post-Modern When Stoned BY

P

REGGIE HUBBARD

ost-Modernism (PoMo) is an uber-serious, intellectual, meta-condition affecting approximately 25% of intellectuals, which is to say, one half of one millionth of the human population. Cannabis sativa has been shown to cause serious analytical liquidity, discursive fragmentation, and freedom from intellectual ruts/patterns—when used in combination with a Liberal Arts education. However, many nd that having no established patterns of thought whatsoever leads to an inability to say much of anything. Therefore, it is not recommended to use Cannabis in the nal stages of editing term papers, since you

TraGoTes uf yle ts ss

if he tly ch 06, of he ased ards. als ad

CAMPUS LIFE

may nd that your thesis is close-minded and subjective, causing a 3 a.m. crisis and revised thesis that reads something like: “Not only do I have no idea what’s going on, but I hereby posit that no one can legitimately claim to know much of anything about anything either, conrming Socrates’ realization that he was smarter than everyone by virtue of his awareness that he knew nothing—in comparison with the rest of humanity who thought they knew what they, in fact, did not.” Smoke with care when writing in the elds of philosophy, sociology, psychology, anthropology, history, English, and art or any form WILL RAMSDELL of cross-cultural analysis. O

T

ufts has claimed to be a leader in environmentally friendly practices. In an effort to reinvigorate this mission, the students of an ExCollege class called “Environmental Action: Shifting from Saying to Doing” have initiated a campaign that will save energy, water, and reduce food consumption by removing trays from the dining halls. Not only is this campaign trying to help Tufts “green” itself, but it’s also meant to inspire students to take similar action in the future.

BY JESSICA MADDING

It takes 1/4 gallons of water to wash 1 tray

er go trayless low Campuses that % 0 5 up to food waste by

By eliminating tra ys, Brown University saved 4,800 gallons of water per week

s trayles Going annual s reduce te by as w food person / s 40 lb

Washing trays dumps detergents, solid waste and grease down the drain, harming the local water supply

rsity, Bio-Medicine.org.

Sources: University of Michigan, Brown Unive

DANIEL WEINSTEIN

December 7, 2009

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21

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

STAR WARS: IN CONERT BY

RUTH TAM

Lady Gaga, Weezer, and… Star Wars in Concert? What?

A

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December 7, 2009

H

sive way to watch a movie, I say, “You have much to learn, my young padawan.” The show was not about the movie scenes but the live music. From the imposing themes of the Death Star to the jovial tunes of the Mos Eisley Cantina, the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra cranked out the series’ soundtrack like nobody’s businesses.

There aren’t many things more epic than the Imperial March blasting from an amalgamation of brass over an audience of thousands. Come on, guys, you know what I’m talking about; it’s the theme you play in your head every time you head to the bathroom after a burrito. Gross allusions aside, the music from Star Wars is pretty remarkable performed live. Daniels wasn’t too shabby himself. He looks exactly how you’d picture a human C-3P0: long and lean. His voice is also the same as C-3P0’s: jilted and automated with a slight British accent.

The series’ scenes were shown in theme sequence, not necessarily in chronological order. Before every song, Daniels would introduce the series of scenes that correlated with the song’s theme. For example, before the Imperial March, Daniels would share Darth Vader’s story. While the orchestra played the march, clips and scenes starring Vader would play, accompanied by a laser show and surprise spurts of re from the stage.

From where I was sitting, the TD Garden looked full to capacity. The music

RUT

I should have remembered then that not only is the Star Wars series one of America’s most beloved lm series, it is also one of its most lucrative. Sure, you see Lord of the Rings paraphernalia in Sky Mall, but it’s Star Wars that inspired an actual religion (Jedi, for those of you wondering, and it’s apparently the fourth largest religion in Britain).

So what exactly does Star Wars in Concert entail? I later learned that the production included a humongous LED screen that played key scenes from all six movies to the movie soundtrack, played live by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, and narrated live by Anthony Daniels, the voice of C-3P0 himself. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe this production is absolutely inane and those think it’s God’s gift to nerds everywhere. I qualify as a member of the latter group.

Tickets to the show were a bit steep— upwards of $50. Luckily, my birthday fell on the same week as the show, and I scored a belated birthday gift from a family member. So on a bright and cold November day, two friends and I found ourselves sitting amongst thousands of Star Wars super fans, young and old— many costumed and armed with lightsabers.

For the next two hours, I found myself jetting off to a galaxy far, far away— in high denition, no less. To those that think that Star Wars in Concert is just an expen-

TAM

month ago, I scanned a list of upcoming shows in Boston and found myself both perplexed and impressed. I consider myself a Star Wars fan (by “fan,” I mean I may or may not have a foot-tall C-3P0 PEZ dispenser in my dorm), but even I was bafed by the “concert” aspect of America’s most beloved lm series.

Yo, Kanye, I hate to interrupt, but C-3PO had the best autotuned voice of all time! may have been a source of personal pride for many of the people at the show. John Williams, the composer of Star Wars’ soundtrack, was the principal conductor of the Boston Pops for over a decade and directed the Boston Symphony Orchestra on multiple occasions.

Star Wars in Concert is much more than a way for LucasFilms to earn a few extra bucks; it is a way to relive childhood.

Think of the rst movie you saw that made you genuinely excited. The movie that you couldn’t wait to reenact in your living room at home after you saw it in theaters. Then imagine seeing it in all its technological glory, narrated by one of its stars. That’s what this concert was to audience members young and old.

It goes to show that you don’t have to look hard to nd something you like in Boston. Lady Gaga, Weezer, Star Wars in Concert? Yes, there really is something for everyone. O

FOOD CULTURE

!"#"$%&'()*#+",-'EATING NIMALS-' ",.'%,/0%#*)'+&"# BY

BRIAN WOLF

M

eat is America. From the steakhouses, to blood-hungry busi-

nessman, to fast food restaurants serving burnt chars to low-income families, our society thrives on the staple diet of meat and potatoes.

We should not succumb to corporate America’s temptations of oily French fries and calorific burgers; rather, we should consider healthy alternatives. Does this mean we should start living on a macrobiotic diet consisting of no bread and no meat, and eat tofu French toast with a soybean puree for breakfast?

When you eat bacon, do you ever imagine eating a portion of Babe or Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web? Even when you are eating chicken do you think of eating Chicken Little? The disconnect between these children’s stories and what children grow up eating forms the basis of Jonathan Safran Foer’s book Eating Animals. The book, a convincing argument for veganism, is a response to the factory farms that kill forty billion animals a year in America.

Eating Animals discusses the need to change what we put into our bodies and how we feed our children. The factory farms that produce most of our supply of meat and poultry act like assembly lines where chicken and pigs live in overcrowded facilities and are slaughtered in horrendous ways. In addition, the factory farms pose numerous health risks, not only to farm workers, but also the consumers of their products. The juxtaposition between personal anecdotes and accounts of nutritional history make the book a fascinating read in comparison to the countless other vegetarian books already

published.

What the vegan movement needed was a book, written by a prolic writer, that brought the vegan cause to a forum other than The New Yorker. That forum came when, in anticipation for her role as a judge on an episode of Top Chef, Natalie Portman decided to write an article for The Hufngton Post. In it, she basically put Jonathan Safran Foer on a pedestal, endlessly praising his resolve to not eat animals. After reading Foer’s book, Natalie apparently decided to stop just being a vegetarian and nally convert to veganism. In her article, she attacked Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma, for his belief in “being polite to your tablemates” rather than sticking to your own ideals, which, as she points out, would be absurd if applied to any other belief (e.g., “I don’t believe in rape, but if it’s what it takes to please my dinner hosts, then so be it”).

In The New York Times review of Eating Animals, Michiko Kakutani’s argues that we shouldn’t care so much about

chicken and pigs when there are more important issues to be discussed. What about “the malaria that kills nearly a million people a year (most of them children)? What of the conict and disease in Congo that has left an estimated ve million dead?” Kakutani opines that CC Foer should focus his time on other topics that need to be discussed and to stop caring about chicken when human beings are dying around the world. You could counter argue with the fact that what we eat has a profound effect on our nation’s obesity epidemic, which relates to our health.

Neverthless, becoming a vegetarian to protest against killing mass quantities of animals and eating them (a portion of Foer’s argument) will no longer be a reason in the future due to the invention of in-vitro meat.

The in-vitro meat does not involve killing any animals whatsoever; it is meat from an animal that is grown in a laboratory and tastes exactly like the real stuff. The scientists take a muscle cell from an animal and then join the cell with proteins to promote growth; it’s just that simple. All you need is this one cell and no animals will be harmed ever again… hopefully. One day, it is plausible that we will no longer have to kill an endless supply of animals to eat meat and poultry. But will it really taste the same? We’ll probably nd out soon. O December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

23

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

A TUFTS RADIO REVIEW BY

T

DANIEL HELLER

his is the end. This is the last Observer of the semester and my last “Tuned In” column for a year. I’m sorry I won’t be there for you next semester when you are jonesing for the tunes. I’m sorry for not warning you that Saturdays at 5:35 p.m. is a terrible time to tune in. I’m sorry—if only I had more to give; if only there were room for not one but one million reviews in this column. Actually if the reviews were short enough, sharp enough, and in a small enough font maybe, just maybe, I could t ve reviews into this nal column.

With the help of science, I have done just that. I have crammed ve reviews into the space usually containing just one review. Amazing. I have randomly selected ve shows and have listened to exactly ten minutes of each show. These reviews are optimized for maximum efciency and accuracy.

No fuzzy feelings, no ineffable characteristics, no hyperbole.

These ve reviews are the most data driven, cold, hard, and factual things you will ever read in your life, no matter how long you live, ever. This last column can serve as a guide of sorts to help you through the wild wilderness of the WMFO show schedule, while I am off enjoying danishes in Denmark.

24

sea shanty singing, but sadly no bagpipe. What gives?* I give this show a: don’t listen until they have 100% more bagpipes per show.

Freestyle Cyphers — Thursday 10-11 p.m.

WMFO bills itself as “freeform radio,” but how is freeform a person pressing play on their iPod that just so happens to be connected to a radio antenna? You know what is legitimately freeform? A DJ spinning the beats and rotating crews of MCs free styling live on the air. That is exactly what Freestyle Cyphers provides every single Thursday night. No Drake, no Diddy. There is nothing canned about this show; it’s as live as it gets. If I could type as fast as these guys can rap, I would give you some examples of the creative word play provided by these MCs, but rest assured they are spitting hot re.* I give this show a: if you don’t listen you are a fool. Legit.

The Ruminator — Tuesday 9-10 a.m.

Sorry, “The Ruminator.” I’m sure that you’re a great person, a great DJ and have a great show, but I just can’t endorse what you’re doing. During my ten minutes of listening you played a Frank Zappa song, and here’s the thing about Frank Zappa: his music is really unpleasant to listen to. I know that WMFO is a freeform radio station and there are no rules against playing Frank Zappa, but there probably should be.* I give this show a: I’m sure it’s a great show but NO FRANK ZAPPA PLEASE.

Brown Perspective on Sports — Sunday 4-5 a.m.

Sure, it’s at 4:00-5:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings, but why wouldn’t you be listening? It’s a guy with a heavy Boston accent, talking about sports with some music mixed in.

YES! This show is dedicated to informing the listener; the host helpfully spent ve of my ten listening minutes listing the scores of all of each Saturday’s college football games.

Now that is useful. The other three minutes consisted of an upbeat jock jam and an awesome public service announcement about joint pain.* I give this show a: listen if you’re an insomniac sports fan without access to a computer.

Electric Bugalow DJ Z — Sunday 9-10 a.m.

Not every show has to reinvent the wheel, because hey, who wants to listen to a reinvented wheel on the radio? A good show on WMFO should play enjoyable music in a logical listening order. In my ten minutes of listening, I heard a little bit of Modest Mouse, Queen, and a lot of semi-awkward kind of mumbled talking about not knowing what to play and how the inputs were wrong. If the rest of their show is like that, I would probably sometimes listen and so should you, maybe.* I give this show a: whole-hearted semi-ambivalent endorsement. O

Celtic Dawn/Between the Worlds—Monday 8-10 a.m.

Are you getting your weekly ll of haggis? If not, this show will certainly give you enough Scottish culture to make up for it. The show bills itself as “Best Contemporary + Traditional Celtic Music & Cutting Edge Earth Religions Radio,” and I would have to agree. I heard a lot of ddling, some accented

If you are inspired to listen, WMFO can be heard over FM radio at 91.5. What’s that? Your iPod doesn’t have a radio? Neither does mine. Luckily WMFO is also streaming online at WMFO. org.

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

WAY OFF CAMPUS

Jerk It Out

W

hile most of us had never even heard of jerking until the New Boyz came out with that effervescent bundle of music called “You’re a Jerk,” our ears and limbs are now under siege by a phenomenon that has been brewing on the West Coast for some time now.

This new style took off in Los Angeles after earlier crazes were brought to light by b-boys, in the case of breakdancing, and thizzers, in the case of Hyphy. The New Boyz, the moniker of the dynamic duo Ben J and Legacy, have helped to bring this isolated dance movement not only to the foreground of pop culture but also from the West Coast to the East Coast. Their hit single “You’re a Jerk” has reached sales of over 750,000 on iTunes, aided by the quirky duo’s street charm and erratic dance moves.

One of the more inspirational forces in jerking, the New Boyz have performed in high school auditoriums around Los Angeles, inspiring legions of young jerkers-to-be to ock to YouTube for visual instruction on the dance’s characteristic moves, involving multiple quick jerks of the body interspersed with some spinning, ips, and handstands.

Popular YouTube videos that have helped to fuel the jerk movement include “Jerkin in Jerkville” by the LA-based jerk crew the Ranger$, which was released on May 22 of this year and has garnered almost 3.5 million views. “Jerkin’ Somethin’ Serious,” released on February 1, has over a million views while “White Boys Jerkin’” by the UCLA Jerk Kings, one of the few Caucasian jerk crews on the West Coast, has nearly 3 million. The immense popularity of these videos shows just how quickly the movement is catching on.

While performing their jaunty jerks, dancers often wear skinny jeans and sneakers in bright hues with tted T-shirts. The look isn’t complete without a hat and a chain or two. The style is a self-proclaimed blend of ‘80s, skater, and hip-hop styles, which many note is a conspicuous backlash to the baggy attire normallyy associated with hip-hop. p p

How the darling of West Coast hiphop is working its way east and creating its own culture RUTH T

AM

by Katie Lazarski

AL

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If you’ve ever watched any of the myriad videos available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube, you may have noticed some of the younger jerkers wearing backpacks (the youngest member of the Ranger$ starts their most popular video by showing off his Power Rangers tote). Many of the dancers look like they just walked out of fth-period pre-calc, and many of them probably did; jerking is incredibly popular among high school students, although the trend is gathering many younger and older followers.

One of the most popular venues for an impromptu dance sesh is in the school parking lot or playground right after classes let out for the day. Many dancers break it down in the middle of busy streets, dodging cars and pedestrians which ultimately lends a less contrived and choreographed feel that harkens back to the days of old-school hip-hop dance and breakdancing.

While still largely a West Coast phenomenon,, jjerkingg is slowly but surely working its way tto the East Coast and, in particular, the Boston area.

Jerk crews like The Good Ki_iDz/ Go TGK are cropT ping pi up, and their

mission goes beyond jerking as they write on their blog, “We’re young adults who’re striving for success in our futures. Our goal isn’t to be known, but to be remembered.”

A website called East Coast Jerking (www.bostonjerks.ning.com) focuses particularly on the development of Boston-area jerking, providing forums for discussion, and a server space for crews to upload videos and create interactive proles.

Many believe that jerking might be here to stay. Unlike the Soulja Boy or the Cupid Shufe, the origins of jerking are on the streets, not in the studio. While it has been much more popular since the release of “You’re a Jerk,” jerking has been a part of West Coast life for years. Jerking is also more than just a dance movement; it has an entire style associated with it that permeates its audience and transcends eeting trends.

No one was cranking that Soulja Boy in LA before the single was released.

Others speculate that jerking is just another fad that will fall out of popularity just as quickly as it grew. Only time will tell, and a transplant to the East Coast is a major indicator of its tenacity. The more kids we see dancing in the Boston streets in bright, tight clothing, the more likely it seems that jerking is here to stay. O December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

25

REELS & MEALS O two Our favorite mandaters are back for another round of restaurant o and lm reviews, reporting on the high, in lows, and downlo right awkward moments.

BY

DANNY WEINER & DAN RIZZO THE FOOD

L

ocated on the corner of Broadway and Josephine, Sound Bites Café/ Pizzeria and Grill is a great place to enjoy affordable Mediterranean and American cuisine for any meal. While relatively close to campus, the restaurant also offers free delivery for the less physically inclined.

After our last date, I don’t think either Danny or I had any doubts about the other’s physical inclinations. It was this certainty that rst led to the idea of spending our fourth date on Danny’s couch.

Siding with the Mediterranean options, we chose to experiment with a variety of side dishes. Thankfully, Sound Bites offers what is called a “Mid-East Combo Plate #1”, which includes a choice of 3 of either falafel, hummus, mujadra, baba ghanough, stuffed grapes leaves, sautéed cauliower, or tabbouli. Choosing the falafel, hummus, and the mujadra, Danny and I found a fair degree of variance in the quality of each side dish. The falafel, for instance, was fried so excessively it was unpalatably dry without a generous topping of sesame tahini sauce.

A Date with Danny & Dan “The ‘Let’s Consider Our Feelings’ Fourth Date” Conversely, the mujadra (a simple dish of lentils and onions sautéed in vegetable oil) was prepared excellently. Too often lentils can be prepared to be too rm, or too mushy. These lentils, however, did not suffer from this, and acted well as a vehicle for the delicious avor of sautéed onions. Finally, the hummus was prepared with a balance between the creaminess associated with more oily hoummos, and the tangy nuttiness of those with more tahini. To those familiar with Hodgdon’s hummus selection, the avor was something in between Tribe and Sabra, but superior to both.

Not contented with three side dishes, Danny and I chose to get an additional order of stuffed grape leaves. For the unacquainted, stuffed grape leaves, or dolma, are often stuffed with rice, with a variety of spices, grain, and meat, then drenched in olive oil.

The lling, in this case, was without meat, consisting, it seemed, of white and bulgur rice with a strong presence of nutmeg.

Though not uncommon when dealing with stuffed grapes leaves, the lling had a very soggy consistency that felt like paste when pressed against the roof the mouth. This, however, could be forgiven for its pleasantly well-balanced spicing.

Though little room remained in our stomachs after the combo plate with the leaves, Danny and I soon found the best dish was saved for last. The lamb kabob plate was a preparation of lamb, onions, and peppers with a variety of spices, grilled with a generous dousing of oil. Though the lamb did not have the typical tenderness that is expected of lamb when prepared in this manner, its avor was well matched by the still rm grilled onions and peppers. It could also be combined with the mujadra or hummus for modest accents on the dish’s many avors.

Oddly, as a complement to the meal, a side salad was included. It could not have been more boring: an uninteresting combination of iceberg lettuce, a tomato slice, an olive, and a pepperoncini, there seemed to be no coherent way of enjoying the salad’s constituent parts with each other. Though it came without any expense to us, it seemed to both Danny and I a waste, and surprisingly inconsistent with the rest of the meal.

While Sound Bites is in no way the gold standard of Mediterranean Cuisine, it can certainly get it right most of the time. At the very least, gems can be found hidden among the many dishes offered on the restaurant’s

Butter my pancakes...

26

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

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W

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REELS & MEALS

extensive menu. Throw in free delivery and incredibly reasonable prices, and you’ve found a great complement to any date; you will both be loathe to leave the couch.

THE FLICK

W

e rushed to the Tisch Media Center (second story, Tisch Library) during the 45-minute window provided by Sound Bites delivery. Overwhelmed by the 8,500 DVDs to choose from, we were extremely grateful for the Media Center’s recommendation folders.

We ipped through the Scandinavian Film List and hastily, yet luckily, happened upon Green Butchers. The lm is a classic taste of dark Danish comedy, starring Mads Mikkelsen known in the States for his role as the villain in Casino Royale, but celebrated in Denmark as one of its biggest stars.

We made a quick stop by the Tower Café for two cups of hot tea to accompany our dinner-breakfast before heading back to our dorm. Just as we were about to fob in, the

Sound Bites deliveryman pulled into the parking lot and handed over the goods. We settled into our common room and I popped in the DVD as Dan awlessly lathered my pancakes and unwrapped my dolma.

All was good on this simple Friday night.

Green Butchers is set in a quaint countryside Danish village. When Svend, played by Mikkelsen, gets fed up with his boss’s beef, he decides to open a rival shop with a young and upcoming butcher named Bjarne. The shop struggles to gain a steady customer ow and Svend and Bjarne begin to question their decision to leave their old jobs.

Their luck turns, however, one evening when Svend’s real estate agent comes to visit the shop and accidently gets locked in the freezer. After discovering the frozen body the next morning, Svend frantically makes the logical decision to defrost, chop up, and carve the porky real estate agent. After Bjarne nds out about the accident, the two butchers decide to marinate the meat, called “chicky-wicky,” and sell it in the shop. The reception to the chickywickies is overwhelmingly positive and customers begin lining up outside the shop for more and more savory morsels. Once the rst batch of the new product disappears, Svend and Bjarne must make a difcult decision: continue making chicky-wicky or lose all of their customers.

Dun dun dun!

The story itself is marinated with Bjarne’s dramatic and tenuous relationship with his retarded brother and his love affair with a beautiful mortician. Dry Danish humor and moist Sound Bite’s pancakeswhat more can you ask for? Green Butchers presents Danish life with the distinctive and loveable Danish attitude. Blunt, sarcastic and quick-witted, the lm delivers hilarious performances sans the political correctness of American cinema. Because it is stripped of the Hollywood superstar and grandiose CGI, the sharp screenplay and clever acting create a bare bones, hearty, and funny lm.

Admittedly, the lm created a bit of an awkward atmosphere when it came time to discuss the future of this relationship with Dan. Winter Break will either bring us closer together or make it clear that it’s time to move on. But for your sake, dear readers, we hope that the tides of time will strengthen our tastefully amorous relationship. O

ART BY ALYCE CURRIER

...and I’ll unwrap your dolma.

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

27

POETRY AND PROSE

You never called by meg boland Dawn ushered in a new silence, assuring rebirth in Her swi!, cool embrace.

Day sauntered on as He usually does, lackadaisical and innocent, consumed with His du"es.

Dusk beckoned early, slurring His false promises of change through a cracked window pane.

And what happened to Night?

She never arrived. sha#ered by a broken heart.

ELIZABETH HERMAN 28

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

POETRY AND PROSE

ELIZABETH HERMAN

Third Floor Inquisition

by Izzy Star

Once in an elementary school bathroom, a pair of white and pink Nikes asked me if I believed in Jesus. Huddled together my disheveled red Chuck’s boldly replied no, my faith lay elsewhere. Meanwhile, I struggled to remember which one Jesus was again.

Despite my calculated fumbling, we nished together, the red Nikes and I, toe-to-toe crowded around the sink. Who then, those patent leather twins persisted, did I believe in? I stared down at my Chucks for support but the bastards stood silent, too busy to answer, lapping up the liquid that had pooled on the oor with their lanky, fraying ngers.

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

29

POETRY AND PROSE

ROMANCE PORN BY

ELIZABETH HERMAN 30

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

MATT MARAYNES

E

POETRY AND PROSE

Got naked and stepped out of line, to nurture this business model I have in mind.

There must be rain, wetness, and no make-up allowed.

There’ll be sleeping on the rooftops of other people’s buildings, and it goes without saying, there will be no douchebags fucking like in internet porn, lathering shame all over your glorious mammalian name.

No “-tube’s” and “-hub’s” and “xxx’s,” and no skinemax, either, because behind all those faking sighs and listless eyes lies emotion that’s hollow throughout, like the love of cardboard cutouts.

It’ll be slow, very slow, and starts with the kind of conversation that lls more than the space between now and sex.

Bring on dirty talk (violence too), but lame-ass misogyny the attorney of Love rejects.

Each must undress the other, but slow dancing in underwear will be optional.

And do away with the heavy music, heavy breathing will sufce.

Bring everything that you can lose, the waves will remove all that isn’t smooth.

It’s a transfer of energy, and a fundamental law.

There will be no work of any kind aside from that essential to survival.

Nothing more needed to acquire but key ingredients more common than water.

Recall your most private of unrequited dreams, those thoughts that echo in the rafters while you’re laughing and making poetry…

Those that curl their little ngers over your wall of polite decency…

The thoughts that you, in your freest of free-thinking, are still ashamed of, the ones that make you worry about potential mind-readers…

They, too, can happen.

But romance porn has nothing to say about why evil teems, or some life that’s supreme, so it will probably just remain a silly little business scheme.

December 7, 2009

THE OBSERVER

31

CAMPUS SAFETY

POLICE BLOTTER

Saturday, November 14 At 7:30 p.m. ofcers responded to a medical case at Ware St. in Somerville and simultaneously brought closure to a bafing and troublesome unsolved crime.

At the house, presumably after attending to the medical case, ofcers noticed an eight foot sign that weighed over 100 pounds and bore the cryptic phrase “Powderhouse Square.” Upon grilling the residents of the house, police uncovered that the sign had been stolen in the summer of 2008 from the rotary and brought to their then house on College Ave. When the residents moved, they brought the memorabilia with them. Somerville Public Works was notied and came by to pick up the sign.

Speed Briefs on Marijuana!

• Nov. 19, 11:13 p.m. pot Lewis Hall conscate pipe, silver cylinder and baggie of chronic • Nov. 23, 10:24 p.m. ganja Haskell Hall suspicious duct tape sounds, smoke detector, cops swiped hard alcohol, glass pipe, baggie of wacky tobackey and vaporizer • Nov. 24, 2:30 p.m. dankity dank smell Stratton Hall, covered smoke detector, apprehended small amount of grass.

32

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

—illustrated and compiled by Ryan Stolp

Sunday, November 15 At 1:30 a.m. Tufts police answered the call of a seemingly homeless band of students who were camping out on the quad when a non-traditional camp pest barged into their campsite. They reported that while camping for purposes related to the environmental movement, twenty people descended upon their camp, making their presence known by banging on tents. They left, but soon returned following one of their own who was running with an American ag. The patriotic track star threw himself on the tent, breaking the poles, and then ed into the safety of Wren Hall. Police found the individual who admitted to breaking the poles and consuming two beers.

NATIONAL

32

THE OBSERVER

December 7, 2009

Daniel Rosen

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