Tucson Weekly Dec. 8, 2011

DECEMBER 8-14, 2011 WWW.TUCSONWEEKLY.COM • FREE

Gasp!

INSIDE

Our last- minute gift guide

Some residents of Nogales, Sonora, say that art can revive their struggling city

Arte en el Otro Lado

Art on the Other Side

BY MARI HERRERAS | PAGE 15

DECEMBER 8-14 2011 VOL. 28, NO. 42

OPINION People are lining up for the Tom Danehy 4 ribs at the new Mr. K’s spot on Stone Avenue.

Renée Downing 6

35

Jim Hightower 6 Guest Commentary 8 Mailbag 8

CURRENTS The Skinny 9

By Jim Nintzel

Picture Perfect 9

By Jim Nintzel

A book of photos benefits the Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding Media Watch 10

By John Schuster

So Long, Connie 11

By Tim Vanderpool

Reid Park Zoo officials leave a trail of shifting explanations Weekly Wide Web 12 Compiled by Dan Gibson

Police Dispatch 12

By Anna Mirocha

Not an unattractive newsweekly.

Competing Protectors 13

By Brian J. Pedersen

A fire-district annexation move has residents concerned A Progressive Sweep 14

By Dave Devine

In December 1911, Arizonans voted in an election that paved the way for statehood Art on the Other Side 15

By Mari Herreras

Some residents of Nogales, Sonora, say that art can revive their struggling city

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We Have an App for That As part of the Tucson Weekly’s ongoing evolution … we now have an app.

If you have an Android device, drop everything (unless you’re currently reading this on an Android device, in which case DO NOT DROP THIS), and head for the app store. Now. Download the app. Use the app. Play with the app. And holler if you have any feedback.

I will now take questions on the app and related topics: How much does the app cost? It’s free, of course!

Is the app available on other platforms? Not at this time, but we’re hoping to have an app for the iPhone and the iPad up and going shortly. We have to sell an ad or something before we put it into the Apple Store.

What if I am a smart and modern-thinking business owner, and I want to buy an ad or something on the Tucson Weekly app? Email Jim Keyes, our digital sales manager, at jkeyes@azbiz.com.

What do you think of the app, Jimmy? I don’t have an Android phone right now; instead, I am languishing with a crappy-ass Windows Mobile phone. However, I did peruse the app on a co-worker’s phone, and I like it. It had a couple of glitches here and there—most of which have already been addressed—but otherwise, it’s pretty damn fine.

What can I do to get my Tucson Weekly mobile fix if I have neither an Android device nor a co-worker from whom to borrow an Android device? Our Web folks have spent a lot of time and energy on our mobile website, and it’s pretty damn amazing, if I do say so myself. Peruse it at m.tucsonweekly.com.

CULTURE

CHOW

City Week 18 Our picks for the week

Love That Peppery Heat 35

TQ&A 20 Rachel Molyneux, Pit n’ Proud

Mr. K has taken his recipes to bigger, nicer digs—but his ’cue is still delicious

PERFORMING ARTS

Noshing Around 35

Elegant Simplicity 24

MUSIC

By Rita Connelly

By Adam Borowitz

By Sherilyn Forrester

Daddy Long Legs skips thought-provoking drama in favor of charming romance

COVER DESIGN BY ANDREW ARTHUR

VISUAL ARTS Take an Art Stroll 27

Soundbites 39

By Margaret Regan

Downtown’s galleries are packed with seasonal works Pictorial Pleasures 28

By Stephen Seigel

Club Listings 42 Nine Questions 45

By Margaret Regan

Emily Dickinson’s words get translated into visual art for The Big Read’s big finale

Live 46

BOOKS

MEDICAL MJ

Can’t Help It 30

Off Schedule 48

By Christine Wald-Hopkins

Rhythm & Views 47

These short stories show what “happily ever after” looks like in the real world

By J.M. Smith

CINEMA

CLASSIFIEDS

Titans of Industry 31

Comix 5051 Free Will Astrology 50 ¡Ask a Mexican! 51 Savage Love 52 Personals 56 Employment 57 News of the Weird 58 Real Estate 58 Rentals 58 Mind, Body and Spirit 59 Crossword 59 *Adult Content 52-56

By Colin Boyd

Fascinating characters make up for the weak premise of Revenge of the Electric Car Film Times 32

By Bob Grimm

Add watching these 15 flicks to your holiday to-do list!

Now Showing at Home 34

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The great Kinky Friedman arrives in Tucson, solo, to do some sellin’ and singin’

Bless these Films! 33 JIMMY BOEGLE, Editor jboegle@tucsonweekly.com

Bard With Booze 39

A move to reclassify marijuana for medical use doesn’t impress J.M.

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DANEHY OPINION

Tom takes on the Kardashians, RichRod, talking jocks and dumb parents

WWW.TUCSONWEEKLY.COM P. O. BOX 27087, TUCSON, AZ 85726 (520) 294-1200

Thomas P. Lee Publisher

BY TOM DANEHY, tdanehy@tucsonweekly.com

EDITORIAL Jimmy Boegle Editor Jim Nintzel Senior Writer Irene Messina Assistant Editor Mari Herreras Staff Writer Linda Ray City Week Listings Dan Gibson Web Producer Margaret Regan Arts Editor Stephen Seigel Music Editor Bill Clemens Copy Editor Tom Danehy, Renée Downing, Ryn Gargulinski, Randy Serraglio, J.M. Smith Columnists Colin Boyd, Bob Grimm Cinema Writers Adam Borowitz, Rita Connelly, Jacqueline Kuder Chow Writers Sherilyn Forrester, Laura C.J. Owen Theater Writers Janice Biancavilla, Debbie Hadley, Kellie Mejdrich Editorial Interns Tim Glass Photography Intern Contributors Billups Allen, Jacquie Allen, Gustavo Arellano, Gene Armstrong, Rob Brezsny, Saxon Burns, Max Cannon, Rand Carlson, Dave Devine, Michael Grimm, Matt Groening, Jim Hightower, David Kish, Jim Lipson, Anna Mirocha, Brian Mock, Andy Mosier, Brian J. Pedersen, Dan Perkins, Ted Rall, Dan Savage, John Schuster, Chuck Shepherd, Tim Vanderpool, Christine Wald-Hopkins SALES AND BUSINESS Jill A’Hearn Advertising Director Monica Akyol Inside Sales Manager Laura Bohling, Marti Jager, Michele LeCoumpte, Alan Schultz, David White Account Executives Jim Keyes Digital Sales Manager Beth Brouillette Business Manager Robin Taheri Business Office Brean Marinaccio, Stephen Myers Inside Sales Representatives NATIONAL ADVERTISING: The Ruxton Group (888)-2Ruxton New York (212) 477-8781, Chicago (312) 828-0564, Phoenix (602) 238-4800, San Francisco, (415) 659-5545 PRODUCTION & CIRCULATION Andrew Arthur Art Director Laura Horvath Circulation Manager Gary Smathers Editorial Layout Kristen Beumeler, Shari Chase, Adam Kurtz, Duane Hollis, Josh Farris, Greg Willhite Production Staff Tucson Weekly® (ISSN 0742-0692) is published every Thursday by Wick Communications at 3280 E. Hemisphere Loop,Tucson, Arizona. Address all editorial, business and production correspondence to: Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087,Tucson, Arizona 85726. Phone: (520) 294-1200, FAX (520) 792-2096. First Class subscriptions, mailed in an envelope, cost $112 yearly/53 issues. Sorry, no refunds on subscriptions. Member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia (AAN).The Tucson Weekly® and Best of Tucson® are registered trademarks of Wick Communications.

Back issues of the Tucson Weekly are available for $1 each plus postage for the current year. Back issues from any previous year are $3 plus postage. Back issues of the Best of Tucson® are $5.

Distribution: The Tucson Weekly is available free of charge in Pima County, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of the Tucson Weekly may be purchased for $1, payable at the Tucson Weekly office in advance. Outside Pima County, the single-copy cost of Tucson Weekly is $1. Tucson Weekly may be distributed only by the Tucson Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or Tucson Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of the Tucson Weekly, take more than one copy of each week’s Tucson Weekly issue.

Copyright: The entire contents of Tucson Weekly are Copyright © 2011 by Wick Communications.

No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means without the express written permission of the Publisher, Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726.

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I

n an effort to avoid being accused of Scrooge-like symptoms, I have a few complaints to register before the start of the holiday season. I mean, it is Dec. 8; pretty soon, all the stores are going to have Christmas displays and stuff.

1. Could somebody please round up all of the Kardashians and put them on an island somewhere? And not an island with cameras, like “MILF Island” on 30 Rock. I can’t take it anymore.

These three skanky-ass sisters and their skanky-ass mother are charter members of the FFSD Club. FFSD is a term I made up; it means Famous For … (performing a particular act of physical intimacy). That’s all they’re famous for. Well, actually, they get an extra 10 percent fame bonus for being famous about being famous for the FFSD thing.

I understand that there are people out there whose parents were on the crack pipe during conception and pregnancy. Not everybody is meant to watch PBS. I have never watched the Kardashians’ show; I value my intellect, such as it is.

Some might ask how I can criticize that which I’ve never seen. It would be a valid question were it not for the fact that the TV “show” has spilled over into the lives of people whose IQ numbers are higher than the number of teeth in their mouths. The Kardashians are in magazines, on TV news programs and in the newspaper. Make it stop.

As for the very concept of “reality” TV: Does anybody really believe that, knowing that there is a camera in the room, people are behaving just as they would otherwise?

The mere act of observing something changes that which is being observed. Someone should mention that to the Kardashians, but I’m betting that the only word they would recognize is “of.” And there’s only a 50-50 chance that, working as a group, they could nail the spelling of “of.”

Now that the furor over the fake-ass 72-day “marriage” is dying down, one of the other sisters is trying to grab headlines by screaming, “Hey, I got knocked up for the second time by a guy who won’t marry me because he’s too busy cheating on me with someone who is quite possibly even skankier than I.” And how do I know this? Because when I turned on AOL one day last week to look at news headlines, guess what came up? Not the debt crisis in Europe. Not the Santa Ana winds that damaged Southern California. Not the American who got kidnapped in Pakistan. No, the lead story was about one of the Skank Sisters who took time out from performing a particular act of physical intimacy to perform yet another … without protection.

They’re breeding, and perhaps we should all be very afraid.

RANDOM SHOTS By Rand Carlson

2. I’m stunned by the reaction that Tucson Weekly editor Jimmy Boegle got when he expressed reservations about the hiring of new UA football coach Rich Rodriguez. At last count, more than 30 people had taken the time to comment online to say, “You’re an idiot. RichRod’s the greatest. Just read some book about Rodriguez’s time at Michigan, and you’ll rethink your entire stance.”

I, too, cringed when they hired Rodriguez. (I would have greatly preferred Mike Leach, who was hired by Washington State.) If you don’t want to call Rodriguez a cheater, then he’s at least a certified rule-breaker. He doesn’t come here with a clean slate, and he hasn’t yet jettisoned his baggage. I’m an Arizona fan; I hope he stays clean and does well. I’ll keep an open mind, but I don’t welcome him with open arms.

3. We all understand that ESPN, in an effort to stay aheadof-the-curve hip, hires former jocks as talking heads, offering “analysis” and banter. Many of these guys probably didn’t see the inside of many classrooms, so over the course of a day, we can expect to hear “shoulda went” once or twice.

What kills me is when ESPN guys try to use big words when little ones will do the job. The other day, Mark Schlereth, when discussing an underachieving team, kept saying, “This is a prideful group of athletes. This is a prideful team.”

Well, you’re a dolt, Mark. “Prideful” and “proud” mean two different things. Take your overly large paycheck, and buy a dictionary.

4. It’s being reported that there is a drop-off in the number of kids getting vaccinated and, not surprisingly, a resurgence of diseases that had been all but eradicated. Last year, more than 130 kids died of whooping cough. Do you know how many kids should die every year from whooping cough? None. Zero. Ever.

What’s most infuriating is that those parents who are opting out of the supposedly mandatory vaccination programs are an oddball collection of paranoid libertarians and posthippie health nuts. Many states allow parents to opt out on religious or even philosophical grounds. It’s reported that many of these parents have some college education or even a college degree, which means they learned just enough to know very little.

Vaccinations don’t cause autism; they’re not part of some government conspiracy; and they can make some diseases fade into history. As an American, you have the right to be dumb, but you don’t have the right to be dangerously stupid.

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DOWNING OPINION

Confused about Occupy Wall Street?

Just conjure up thoughts of Rio Nuevo HIGHTOWER

BY JIM HIGHTOWER

PEOPLE MAKE IT CLEAR: CORPORATIONS ARE NOT PEOPLE

BY RENÉE DOWNING, rdowning@tucsonweekly.com

W

hat is Occupy Wall Street about? Well, it’s not about greed, per se. Nor is it about class envy.

Dirty hippies who want to be Donald Trump? The slander doesn’t even scan.

The movement is about objecting to the fox minding the hencoop. About being tired of watching the public exchequer looted. It’s a populist response to endemic corruption.

Or, to put it in local terms, it’s about Rio Nuevo.

The way you and I feel about our tax increment district—ripped-off, disgusted, disbelieving and devoutly hoping to see gobs of people indicted—that’s how OWS protesters feel about a whole raft of bigger Rio Nuevos.

Actually, the stuff that preoccupies them isn’t all that much bigger. $223 million is real money almost anywhere, and that’s what Rio Nuevo has had to play with since 60 percent of the Tucson electorate approved a nice-sounding plan to revitalize downtown and preserve an important part of Tucson’s past. Knowing this place as I do, I was going to vote no back in 1999, but caved when my son, who saw a presentation at his high school, told us we had to support it. Turns out I was right. Ah, youth.

Ah, motherhood.

In November’s elections, the national media gave extensive coverage to a proposed “personhood amendment” to Mississippi’s state Constitution. This extremist, anti-abortion ballot initiative declared that a person’s life begins not at birth, but at the very instant that sperm meets egg. Extending full personhood to two-cell zygotes was too far out even for many of Mississippi’s right-wing zealots, so the proposition was voted down.

Meanwhile, the national media paid no attention to another “personhood” vote that took place on that same day. This was a referendum in Missoula, Mont., on a concept Shall we review what’s happened? Out of the 15 projects even more bizarre than declaring zygotes to that were sold to us, two have been completed. In 12 years, be persons with full citizenship rights.

It was a vote on overturning last year’s people. While the potholes have been chunking away democracy-killing decision by the U.S. around the edges, the street signs bleaching and the Tucson Supreme Court in the now-infamous Convention Center falling into ruin, more than 200 million Citizens United case. In that case, a narof our tax dollars have poured into the pockets of adminisrow, five-man majority had decreed that— trators, developers, architects, planners and every conceivabracadabra!—lifeless, soulless corporaable species of consultant, meta-consultant, hanger-on, tions are henceforth persons with human brother-in-law and new best friend. (We all particularly political rights. Moreover, said the five, appreciated the free trips to Italy during the heady UA these tongue-less entities must be allowed Science Center phase of the boondoggle.) An aquarium was to “speak” by dumping unlimited sums of proposed, and models built. The aforesaid bridge of light their corporate cash into our election camover the Santa Cruz—hazy even at the time—was proposed, paigns, thus giving them a far bigger voice than us real-life persons.

THIS MODERN WORLD By Tom Tomorrow Missoulians, of course, cannot single-handedly overrule the Supremes, but they can be at the forefront of a grassroots movement demanding a constitutional amendment to reverse the court’s perverse ruling. And that’s just what Missoulians did, with a whopping 75 percent of voters calling on Congress to send such an amendment to the states for prompt ratification.

We can all be Missoulians!

People in California, Colorado, Maine, Vermont, Wisconsin and elsewhere are pushing such resolutions. For information on how to get your city and state to join in this call, contact www. wethepeoplecampaign.org/toolkit.

6 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

and models built. That science museum with a rainbow on the roof was proposed, and models built. (The models were very lovely, absolutely top-notch. And there were as many rainbows as in a My Little Pony movie. ) A contract was cut for an $820,000 video. A whole downtown block was sold to a politically connected developer for $100, with the buildings razed at taxpayer expense; $1-a-year leases were bestowed. Just last year, the City Council voted unanimously to let another politically connected developer flip a piece of city-owned downtown land for a more-than-100 percent profit. So, so SoAz. It got bad enough last year, or the pickings got good enough—who knows?—that the Legislature threw out the old Rio Nuevo board and put in a new one. My friends, it is a very dark day indeed when you’re happy to see the Arizona Legislature take over anything, but so it was.

Currently, the FBI has the books, and it has promised to go all forensic-accounting on their asses. Go, feds!

For anyone involved to go to prison—even pretty prison—would seriously make me feel better about that 1999 ballot decision. (Now that I think of it, that was about when the Glass-Steagall banking act was repealed, thus letting loose the forces of rapacious, stupid banking upon the world. The planets must have been badly aligned.)

The latest is that the new Rio Nuevo board is suing the city for $47 million and opposing a not-for-profit, privately funded group—led by good old Roger Pfeuffer—that’s trying to plant fruit trees in the historic Mission Garden, on county land.

It takes real balls to sue the taxpayers of Tucson right now, and it takes major balls to say no to a free fruit orchard on property you don’t even own. We’re talking kamikaze cojones, the kind of awesome, cosmic balls required for Congress to want to subsidize tax breaks for high-speed traders and bazillionaires with cuts to Medicare and Social Security. I mean, wow.

But this is the sort of people we’re dealing with, and this is what they’ve been getting away with for more than a decade, here and on Wall Street. It’s what they’re used to doing—cheerfully raping the body politic in the broad, golden light of day. It’s kind of all our fault, granted. But now it needs to end.

Occupy the Santa Cruz.

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GUEST COMMENTARY

MAILBAG

OPINION

Send letters to P. O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726. Or e-mail to mailbag@tucsonweekly.com.

Letters must include name, address and daytime phone number. Letters must include signature. We reserve the right to edit letters. Please limit letters to 250 words.

Republican legislators have again violated the state Constitution with a school-voucher program

BY DAVID SAFIER

A

rizona has a brand-new money-laundering operation to deal with. It’s not one of the usual immigrant- or drug-smuggling operations where they clean up their ill-gotten gains with Western Union wire transfers.

This new scheme happens to be perfectly legal—for the time being, anyway. It’s written into a law created by our Republican legislators last session to launder state funds so they can be used to pay for tuition at private religious schools—in clear violation of the Arizona Constitution.

If there were such a thing as truth in advertising at the Legislature, this law would have to contain “voucher laundering” somewhere in its name, but the Republicans chose a more-noble title: “Arizona Empowerment Accounts.”

Vouchers, where tuition for private schools is paid for by the state, are forbidden by our Constitution. You could probably get away with vouchers for secular private schools, but that won’t get you very far: More than 70 percent of our private schools have religious affiliations, and using state funds for religious education is expressly forbidden. (If that 70 percent figure surprises you, it shouldn’t.

Most states have a similarly high proportion of religious private schools.)

The Arizona Constitution makes the point not once, but twice. Article 2, Section 12, states, “No public money or property shall be appropriated for or applied to any religious worship, exercise, or instruction.”

Article 9, Section 10, states, “No tax shall be laid or appropriation of public money made in aid of any church, or private or sectarian school.” It doesn’t get much clearer than that.

Republicans tried to set up a voucher system in 2006, but it was ruled unconstitutional by the state Supreme Court—unanimously— in 2009. You’d think that would have put an end to their quest for state-funded vouchers, especially since they already have privateschool tax credits in place, which are basically backdoor vouchers. The credits allow taxpayers to “donate” money to school-tuition organizations, which turn around and use the funds to pay for private-school tuition. Then the “donors” get all their money back, since they get a dollar-for-dollar credit when they pay their taxes.

Money that otherwise would find its way into the state coffers ends up sending children to private schools. That’s just vouchers by another name. Yet the courts say it’s legit, since the money never passes through the statehouse doors.

But backdoor vouchers don’t satisfy these folks. They want the real thing and aren’t willing to take “unconstitutional” for an answer—especially the conservative/libertarian Goldwater Institute. It’s been pushing to privatize education and dismantle the public-school system for decades. So the institute put its high-powered legal team to work looking for a way around the church/ 8 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

state voucher problem. The solution it came up with was education-savings accounts, which form the basis of the Arizona Empowerment Accounts law.

It works like this: When parents sign up to participate in the program, the state moves some money from one column of its budget to another column labeled “education-savings accounts.” The parents are then free to withdraw the funds to pay for their children’s private educations. Voila! The money is laundered from “dirty” government money, with all those pesky constitutional stipulations, into “clean,” privatized money the parents can spend for any kind of private schooling they damn well please, religious or otherwise.

From a logical standpoint, the idea that empowerment accounts aren’t government money is ludicrous, and there is a lawsuit challenging the law’s constitutionality. But logic and legality don’t always coincide, so there’s no way to predict what the courts will decide.

At this point, only students with learning disabilities are eligible for the empowerment accounts (there were similar limitations on the 2006 voucher bill), but that’s just a way of sneaking the elephant’s privatization trunk into the education tent. If the courts rule in favor of the accounts, proponents have made it clear that they want the vouchers available to everyone.

Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much talk about empowerment accounts in the press, probably because the 2011 legislative session was so full of jaw-droppers that this law was passed with little notice. But it has far-reaching implications. Empowerment accounts are the SB 1070 of the education-privatization movement: It’s the first law of its kind in the country, and if it flourishes here, it’s sure to be duplicated in other states.

David Safier is a retired teacher.

He writes about education and politics at Blog for Arizona.

Claim: Ethnic-Studies Article Was Mere Opinion Having seen your cover highlighting an article about Mexican-American studies, I was looking forward to reading a good piece of journalism (“Ethnic Studies Myths,” Nov. 17).

Instead, I was disappointed to find only a lengthy opinion article. The truths the author presents have motivated me to remove “truth” from the three ideas we judge by, and one of the six great ideas we live by.

Ken Smalley

Stegeman: Nov. 21 ‘Meeting’ Was Mere Political Theater The story concerning the Tucson Unified School District board vacancy (“A Board Divided,” Currents, Dec. 1) requires clarification on several points concerning the board’s non-meeting on Monday, Nov. 21.

Board member Michael Hicks emailed the board office at 7:32 p.m. on Saturday (Nov. 19) stating unequivocally that he would attend the Monday meeting only if I could also attend. I emailed the board office at 9:07 a.m. on Monday, stating unequivocally that I had been unable to rearrange my commitments and could not attend; I had said from the start that my attendance was doubtful. Subsequent communication reinforced and never altered these statements. Therefore, district leadership knew all day that no quorum would exist on Monday evening, and the pointless gathering of two board members and numerous staff produced only political theater.

The air of panic surrounding the hastily called Monday meeting was misplaced, because the same issue was already on the board’s agenda for the full meeting one day later, and the county superintendent’s Nov. 30 deadline was nine days away.

Going forward, restoring public confidence in TUSD will depend upon the consistent display of discipline, prudence and professionalism by a united district leadership.

Mark Stegeman

Your Take on RichRod Was Ignorant!

I was disappointed to read Jimmy Boegle’s “Cheater Hire” (Editor’s Note, Nov. 24). While his commentary regarding big-time college sports may indeed have some merit, the depictions of both Rich Rodriguez and Greg Byrne were mean-spirited and off-base.

Mr. Boegle shows a lack of understanding regarding the facts of what was a long and complicated investigation into the infractions he references at the University of Michigan. The infractions which the NCAA for their own reasons list as “major” were, in fact, of a minor, inconsequential and technical nature. Moreover, those with an

inside, in-depth understanding of this situation largely agree that Mr. Rodriguez was guilty of a lack of complete understanding of the voluminous and technical rules in college football today rather than a desire to cheat or evade the system.

Mr. Boegle goes on to inexplicably question Mr. Byrne’s “fairness and ethics” for hiring Mr. Rodriguez after Byrne carried out what was by all reports an extensive and thorough search which included consultation with many of the most-respected people in big-time college sports today, as well as compliance officials at the University of Michigan and the NCAA. While we can’t expect the same diligence from Mr. Boegle, there is in fact a book that has recently been published, Three and Out, by John U. Bacon, that covers the entire three years of Mr. Rodriguez’s tenure at the University of Michigan, if Boegle or anyone were truly interested in gathering a “fair” understanding of this matter.

Richard N. Wiarda

Your Take on RichRod Was a Gem! Your take on the hiring of the new UA football coach is a gem. You have been the only editor to tell the truth about this sad affair. My admiration will focus on you from now on as I read your newspaper.

It is too bad that the UA athletic director was allowed to have such power in the firing and selecting process. A near abuse of this process is evident, and the choice of the new coach is the ultimate abuse. Thanks for the insightful and piercing writing.

Buel Bowlan

Almost All ‘Occupy’ Participants Around the World Have Been Peaceful I am writing in response to “Protest Persists” (Currents, Nov. 24). Thank you for your continued coverage of the protests.

I am concerned with one bit of misinformation in the article that perpetuates mainstreammedia lies about the movement: “(W)e haven’t done anything to cause problems or make us look bad.”

Other Occupy Movements and a vast majority of the protesters have not done anything to deserve poor treatment, either. While Occupy Tucson has been exemplary in its conduct and comportment with the help of the peacekeepers like Alex Maldonado, peaceful protesters do not deserve to be hit with batons, pepper-sprayed as they sit peacefully, or arrested with unwarranted force, as they have been in other cities. No one deserves this treatment during a peaceful protest.

Joe Callahan, aka Tex Shelters

Correction Due to a production-department error, the photo we ran with the Dec. 1 “Nine Questions” interview of Joseph Valentino was actually of Peter Newbegin, this week’s Nine Questions subject. We apologize for the error.

CURRENTS A book of photos of Jan. 8 shrines benefits the Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding

Picture Perfect

BY JIM NINTZEL, jnintzel@tucsonweekly.com anet Marcotte remembers the clay pots filled with yellow pansies on the University Medical Center lawn.

There were six of them—one for each of those killed by gunfire on Jan. 8—amid all the candles, teddy bears, photos and other mementos that made up the shrine that grew in the weeks following the shootings.

“I thought about what it took to get those pots to the front of the lawn at UMC,” says Marcotte, the executive director of the YWCA Tucson. “It was at that moment that I thought I’d create a collection of images to share with Congresswoman Giffords, because I knew she’d never see this outpouring of love.”

Now, many of those images have been collected for Together We Thrive, a slim book that juxtaposes the photographs with selected quotes from the eulogy that President Barack Obama delivered here in the wake of the Jan. 8 shootings.

“Together We Thrive honors all those who were killed and injured on Jan. 8, and it celebrates how we responded as a community,” Marcotte says. “I hope that it’s going to play a part in how we move forward to be an even better community.”

To that end, proceeds from the book will benefit the Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding, the nonprofit organization set up by Giffords’ district director, Ron Barber, in the weeks after the shooting. Barber, who was shot in the face and the leg on Jan. 8, came up with the idea for the fund while recovering in UMC’s intensive-care unit.

“I’ve said a couple of times: Be careful of what you dream up in the ICU,” Barber says. “The fund was really another way of saying to our community that we really appreciate what you’re doing, and we want to be able to hold on to and sustain this positive energy.”

The Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding has raised more than $300,000 so far, according to Barber. That money has come from donations and fundraisers, such as last March’s mammoth rock ’n’ roll concert at the Tucson Convention Center that featured Jackson Browne, Alice Cooper, David Crosby, Graham Nash, Calexico, Ozomatli and many others.

So far, the nonprofit has launched an antibullying campaign at 11 Tucson Unified School District campuses, with hopes of expanding it.

“They’ve invited us in to do in-depth training for teachers and staff on how to intervene and prevent bullying,” Barber says. “If you want civility in adults, you have to work with kids, because that’s when they learn how to behave.”

He’s also working on an effort to reduce the

J

Together We Thrive benefits the Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding.

March, he does have several shows in the works. stigma of mental illness and develop programs On Saturday, Dec. 17, Neshama Carlebach, to help people who suffer from the disease, particularly those between the ages of 16 and 24. a Jewish soul singer who often performs in Hebrew, will be performing with a gospel choir Barber says he is grateful for the counseling at the Fox Tucson Theatre. And on Saturday, that has helped him deal with post-traumatic Jan. 15, Ben Folds headlines a show at the Fox stress syndrome. While it’s easier to get a good that will include Calexico, the Silver Thread night’s sleep these days, he still awakens from Trio, Salvador Duran, Mariachi Luz de Luna and nightmares around 3 a.m. several times a week. other local acts.

“I get violent dreams,” he says, “people killing Barber sees Together We Thrive as a perfect each other or shooting each other. Not people I way to help raise funds for the Fund for Civility, know—just random people.”

Respect and Understanding. He remembers visWhile he’s back at work in Giffords’ office iting the UMC shrine while still in the ICU. for four hours a day, five days a week, his leg “I was very, very moved,” he says. “In fact, remains numb beneath the knee, except when I think you couldn’t go there without being he feels stinging pain. He needs to walk with moved by what was being displayed by our a brace to support his ankle and continues to community. … It was a remarkable showing of use a cane to keep his balance, but he knows community spirit.” it would have been much worse if doctors had amputated his leg.

“I’m just grateful I have a leg,” he says.

Together We Thrive is available at Antigone Barber hasn’t let his injuries stop him from Books, Ben’s Bells Gift Shop, Delectables spending plenty of time on the Fund for Civility, Restaurant, the YWCA Tucson and many local Respect and Understanding. While he’s not likely Walgreens. For a complete list of stores or to order to help plan another megaconcert like the one last a copy via mail, visit ywcatucson.org.

THE SKINNY THE GAVEL IS PASSED Everyone has their own sense of what Mayor Bob Walkup accomplished during his 12 years as mayor of Tucson.

Some see him as a nice guy who brought a unique sense of compassion to the job. Some see him as an empty suit who got nothing done. Some see him as a leader who finally got Tucsonans to pass a transportation-funding sales tax back in ’06. Some see him as the BOB guy who oversaw the failures of Rio Nuevo. Some see him as the Republican who embraced tax and fee increases—a garbage fee, impact fees and a library transfer to the county— that put the city on stronger financial footing.

However you view him, Walkup presided over his final council meeting earlier this week, telling the audience he’d soon be setting out in his ’76 Volkswagen bus with his wife, Beth Walkup.

“Don’t worry about what we’re going to do next,” Walkup said. “Beth and I have a great capacity for finding interesting and fun things to do.”

As he passed the mayoral gavel to Jonathan Rothschild on Monday, Dec. 5, Walkup told the audience at the Tucson Convention Center that he had a good reason for visiting Tucson’s JONATHAN elementary schools on a monthly basis during his 12 years in office.

During his very first visit with a group of third-graders, he asked the kids if any of them knew what the mayor does.

Walkup explained: “Some little kid said, ‘I know! I know!’ I said, ‘What is that?’ He says: ‘The king of the world!’

So I knew if I was ever feeling bad about being mayor of this great city, I’d just go to see the third-graders.”

The expectations of third-graders aside, the mayor of Tucson is not the king of the world—or even the king of Tucson, a point that Rothschild made later that day at his inaugural luncheon, where he warned the crowd that he’d be reaching out to them for help.

“What needs to be done, I cannot do alone,” Rothschild said. “I cannot do it with a staff of five, and I cannot do it with a great city staff. It’s going to take each of you in this room throwing in.”

Rothschild starts off with an ample reservoir of goodwill. More than 600 people turned out for the inaugural luncheon, making it the biggest fundraiser the Pima County Democratic Party has ever done. (We suspect that had a lot to do with local treasure Calexico playing after all the speeches were done—but it could be that civicminded citizens really are excited about the Rothschild administration.)

Given the rocky state of our city, he’ll need all the help he can get. He’s facing a strapped budget, too many neglected streets, and too many small businesses struggling just to keep their doors open. He’s mayor of a town with too many single moms with lousy jobs who are barely getting by. He’s going to need to decide how to handle the

CONTINUED ON PAGE 11 DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

TuCsONWEEKLY

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LEE FILES FOR BANKRUPTCY Lee Enterprises, owner of the Arizona Daily Star, is forcing the hand of unwilling investors by announcing plans for a bankruptcy filing.

In September, the company got numerous note-holders to agree to a massive restructuring plan that would put off a looming debt-arrangement with an April 2012 payout that Lee wouldn’t have been able to make. However, not all parties were on board with that arrangement, which would have restructured $138 million of outstanding debt. The decision to follow through on a Chapter 11 filing basically forces creditors into the agreement.

Lee says its prepackaged Chapter 11 plan will dilute shareholder value by 13 percent, but that it has enough cash flow to make it while addressing remaining debt for the future. The often cut-and-dried process could be concluded within 60 days.

Lee’s stock, which remains in violation of the New York Stock Exchange’s $1 minimum, jumped from 50 to 70 cents on Monday, Dec. 5, following news of the plan.

RADIO AND TV STATIONS PREP FOR FUNDRAISERS Local radio-station clusters and TV stations set aside part of the holiday season for fundraising purposes, acting as an important source of donations.

KOLD Channel 13 has two major events.

This weekend, it will team for the first time with the Susan G. Komen Foundation to promote breast-cancer awareness at the Fourth Avenue Street Fair. On Wednesday, Dec. 14, employees of the CBS affiliate will spend the day outside of the Wells Fargo bank branch at Oracle and Orange Grove roads for a holiday food drive.

The Journal Broadcast Group, which owns and operates KGUN Channel 9 and a number of radio stations, puts a significant emphasis on holiday fundraising. KMXZ FM 94.9, aka MIXfm, recently concluded a record-breaking Community Food Bank fundraiser. Its Thanksgiving on the Mayflower drive brought in $228,000 and 6,600 pounds of food. MIXfm’s monthlong diaper drive to benefit the Diaper Bank of Southern Arizona got a kick-start with A Christmas Carol With a Tucson Twist at the Fox Tucson Theatre.

Journal’s KQTH FM 104.1 is in the midst of Operation Holiday Helpers, which benefits Southern Arizona military families. KGUN conducted its first Sun Tran Stuff the Bus event for the food bank on Tuesday, Dec. 6. Another Stuff the Bus is slated for Thursday, Dec. 15—this time, a toy drive for the Salvation Army.

Cumulus has two major fundraisers on tap. On Dec. 8 and 9, KHYT FM 107.5 is conducting its first Diamond Dreams Radio-thon for the Diamond Children’s Medical Center. KIIM FM 99.5’s annual Penny Pinch push is scheduled for Dec. 21-23 at Foothills Mall. The goal is to collect a million pennies ($10,000) for the Arizona’s Children Association.

CURRENTS

THE SKINNY CONTINUED

When it comes to elephants, Reid Park Zoo officials leave a trail of shifting explanations

from Page 9

So Long, Connie

protestors at Occupy Tucson (who are evidently thinning out as cold weather rolls in). And he’s going to need to come to terms with a contentious Rio Nuevo board that is far more concerned with paying lawyers to undermine the city of Tucson than with contributing to the rebounding downtown area.

“We know we have challenges ahead,” Rothschild told the crowd. “The city needs your help. The community as a whole needs your help. … I look forward to the work ahead, and I look forward to working with each of you.”

BY TIM VANDERPOOL, tvanderpool@tucsonweekly.com

C

Asian and African elephants such as Connie and Shaba to be kept separately.

One could be forgiven for looking a bit askance at this new Asian-African emphasis— particularly since it garnered nary a peep during the zoo’s 2005 fundraising frenzy.

Meanwhile, when animal advocates reiterated the same point that Basford had trumpeted not so long ago—namely, that Connie and Shaba were quite bonded after rubbing shoulders for 29 years—zoo education curator Vivian VanPeenen promptly called them “animal extremists” who wanted nothing more than to shut down the zoo for good.

Either way, it appears that the zoo’s flip-flop may just have been calculated strategy. Consider that Reid Park officials had long been in negotiations with counterparts at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park to import a small herd of African elephants to Tucson, and to dispatch Connie to San Diego. Just how long is unclear; Basford remains vague about when those talks actually began.

Ward 2 City Councilman Paul Cunningham views this byzantine pageant with a slightly jaundiced eye. “There’s definitely an argument that there is ‘science of convenience’ here,” he says of the zoo’s sudden concern over the AsianAfrican standard.

At the same time, he agrees with Reid Park officials that bringing in new elephants will revitalize the zoo, and that separating Connie and Shaba now—by sending Connie to live with other Asian elephants in San Diego—is preferable to waiting until she dies, leaving Shaba alone.

(Connie is 44 years old, while Shaba is 31.)

Still, a bad taste lingers.

“I think all those years ago, if they exploited the relationship between the elephants to raise money for the zoo, and now they’re separating them, that’s a shame,” Cunningham says.

Basford says the goal behind expanding Reid Park’s elephant exhibit—to make the zoo a more-robust partner in AZA breeding efforts— has not changed since the expansion was first floated. “Certainly at the time, we anticipated keeping those elephants together. But in the six years between then and now, lots of things have changed.”

Among them is San Diego’s African elephant breeding program. That effort has proved so successful, she says, that the growing herd needed to be split. What better place to send that overflow than to Tucson, with its expanding elephant showcase?

“We were a great option,” Basford says. “For the first time in any U.S. zoo, we are looking at a chance to bring a cohesive breeding herd— probably two females, youngsters and a male—

CREDIT CHECK

TIM VANDERPOOL

onnie is an Asian elephant. Shaba is African. For nearly three decades, they shared a half-acre allotted to them at the Reid Park Zoo. “Shaba has a lot of respect for Connie,” said Gale Ferrick, who spent more than two decades caring for the animals. “She will always wait until Connie’s done with a toy before she goes after it. At night, when they’re inside, Shaba will roll her toys out of her stall, across the aisle and into Connie’s stall.

“Their bond is very deep,” Ferrick added. “If Shaba makes even the slightest noise, any kind of alarm, Connie rushes over to her and stands guard over her.”

Ferrick made those remarks in 2005 to the Arizona Daily Star.

So essential was this “bond” that zoo officials and their bosses at the Tucson Parks and Recreation Department endlessly and publicly pimped it, while raising millions of dollars to expand the elephant enclosure to 3 acres.

Driving this was a mandate by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums—which accredits Reid Park and some 200 other American zoos—that fertile elephants such as Shaba be bred to keep captive populations from dwindling. But without extra space, AZA officials warned, she might need to be moved elsewhere. In response, schoolchildren wrote letters supporting the expansion, and civic groups pumped flesh to raise the needed millions.

At the same time, animal-rights activists floated the idea that Connie and Shaba might be happier at a 2,700-acre elephant sanctuary in Tennessee. But in response, zoo director Susan Basford spoke about the importance of keeping this pair intact and keeping them at the Reid Park Zoo. “We have such a perfect place for elephants,” she told the Tucson Weekly in 2006.

“Perfect climate, great keepers, two animals that are acclimated to each other, or bonded to each other and to their keepers.”

In the end, the city pledged $8.5 million to enlarge the elephant enclosure, with about half of that coming from private donations—all to ensure that Connie and Shaba would remain together.

That price tag has since grown to $9.7 million.

But by 2006, Basford pulled the plug on efforts to impregnate Shaba. Even more surprising was how seamlessly the zoo then rearranged its priorities: The former obsession with keeping Connie and Shaba together—and the importance of their bonding—suddenly wasn’t so critical after all.

That became clear recently when Basford announced that, after all those decades together, the pair would soon be split apart. The reason, she explained, was that AZA standards require

Jessica Shuman, regarding the Tucson City Council: “It’s easy, when you get 16,000 emails, to write them off as an emotional plea.” to (our) zoo, which is probably the way things split off in nature, and certainly was our goal all along—to be able to do things in a more-natural way for the animals.”

Though Cunningham supports the zoo’s move, he also thought the shifting rationales deserved another hashing out. So he placed the issue on a Nov. 22 City Council study-session agenda.

The zoo responded by flying in a bunch of heavy-hitters, including celebrity expert Jeff Andrews, associate curator of mammals at the San Diego Zoo. Critics of the plan to send Connie away had no chance to speak before Ward 6 Councilman Steve Kozachik cut off discussion with a motion to support the transfer. The move was unanimously approved.

Among those muzzled at the meeting was longtime animal-rights activist Jessica Shuman.

She says the whole session devolved into zoo officials merely “reaffirming their views to their own colleagues.” That was despite the fact that council members reportedly received 16,000 emails from the public about the elephants.

To critics such as Shuman, this whole saga doesn’t pass the smell test—though it might deserve honors for sheer audacity.

“It’s easy, when you get 16,000 emails, to write them off as an emotional plea,” she says. “But the emotional plea is based on everything the general public knows about elephants, and it’s based on science—the science we got from the experts who are now contradicting themselves.”

Tucson City Clerk Roger Randolph has informed Republican Jennifer Rawson, who lost the race for the Ward 2 City Council seat to Democrat Paul Cunningham, that she needs to repay matching funds that she received for her campaign.

Randolph says that Rawson needs to give back $32,800.11 in campaign dollars she received from the city through its public-campaign program— and pay a $15,048 fine, because she mishandled the collection of campaign contributions via credit card.

Randolph wouldn’t speak about the case, but referred us to a letter that he and City Attorney Mike Rankin sent to Rawson on Nov. 18.

The letter explains that state law requires all campaign contributions to go directly into a bank account, and the Rawson campaign violated the law with the “commingling of the (Rawson) committee’s funds with those of Todd Clodfelter, an individual who owns and does business as Ace Graphics.”

Because Clodfelter allowed his incorporated status to expire earlier this year, he could no longer process campaign payments legally, according to Randolph’s letter.

“A knowing and intentional violation of ARS 16-904(C) has occurred here for contributions processed through Ace Graphics on or after June 13, 2011,” Randolph writes. “This violation is not curable.”

Rawson says she was “flabbergasted and certainly blindsided” when she got Randolph’s letter.

Rawson, who filed at least 18 amended campaign-finance reports during her campaign that did not always reflect her actual campaign spending, adds that she had no idea Clodfelter needed to have an incorporated entity to handle the credit-card transactions.

“I figured: If he had the machine, and he was willing to do it at a very reasonable price, what difference did it make?” Rawson asks. “It’s a gross misstatement to say I knew and intentionally violated (the law). Why would I?” Rawson says she’s been working with her treasurer, Ryan Williams, to decide the next step. She hasn’t yet retained legal counsel, but she has requested an administrative hearing to appeal Randolph’s decision. She’s also

CONTINUED ON PAGE 13 DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

TuCsONWEEKLY

11

POLICE DISPATCH

BY ANNA MIROCHA mailbag@tucsonweekly.com

A DIFFERENT KIND OF ‘WHUPPED’ WEST VEREDA DE LAS FLORES NOV. 1, 9:23 P.M.

Unrequited love apparently led to a man’s arrest after he pursued his interest too aggressively, according to a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report.

Deputies responded to a call saying a male and female were yelling and hurling garbage at each other in front of a house.

When deputies arrived, one of them found a distressed female at the side of the house. She said the man she’d been arguing with—whom she’d only been “talking” to, and was not dating—had come to her house. Because he reeked of alcohol, she said, she asked him to leave, but he refused.

When she peeked outside, the report said, she saw a car full of her harasser’s brothers, one of whom told her that she had his brother “pussy-whupped.”

When she again told her harasser to leave her alone, he chased her around.

They ended up near garbage cans, and the male started to throw trash.

Deputies found a shirtless man who was breathing heavily and apparently intoxicated. At first, he took a fighting stance and said to one deputy, according to the report: “What up, Holmes?”

He was eventually handcuffed. When deputies prepared to read him his rights, the subject said, “Fool, I don’t need those.

I’m not under arrest.”

He was arrested on suspicion of trespassing and assault, as well as threats and intimidation.

THE TWO. THE PROUD. NORTHWEST SIDE NOV. 4, 10:20 P.M.

A spat between a pair of U.S. Marines led to a broken lawn ornament, a PCSD report said.

After a woman made a domestic-violence report, deputies arrived and found her moderately unresponsive and apparently drunk.

After insisting that the deputies wouldn’t believe her story, because she is “a Marine, and ‘they’ never believe her,” she told deputies that she and her fiancé had been at P.F. Chang’s. After becoming intoxicated, he accused her of “dressing like a whore,” flirting with others and possibly sitting in someone’s lap. They obtained separate rides home, with the woman arriving first.

After again stating that deputies wouldn’t believe her because she was a Marine, the woman told them she locked up the house when she got home, apparently to punish her partner. When he got home, he pounded on the doors while also yelling that he was a Marine, according to the PCSD report.

No arrests were made, and the two eventually calmed down. The only damage noted was to a ceramic-turtle lawn ornament, which the man apparently stepped on while pounding on the windows and doors.

12 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

W E E K LY W I D E W E B COMMENT OF THE WEEK

#lovehate witter’s blog post this week announcing their top hashtags of 2011 says everything you need to know about the service—and its mix of the interesting and the mega-banal.

Egypt was one of the most-discussed topics on Twitter in 2011, and for good reason, as the uprising to remove Hosni Mubarak played out on social media before our eyes. On the other hand, the other top-ranking hashtag was #tigerblood, reminding us all that there was a time when the world stopped to try to figure out what was going on with Charlie Sheen.

The top topics for music are an equally mixed bag, with the 2011 deaths of Nate Dogg, Gerry Rafferty and Gil Scott-Heron pushing their names into trending topics—but Rebecca Black and Femme Fatale (which I had to Google to realize it was the title of Britney Spears’ latest album) made the top five as well.

So this is what we’re stuck with: Twitter’s great when it works well, and a waste of pixels and bandwidth when used by someone who doesn’t have much to say.

Are you dying to know what movie is showing at the Playboy Mansion tonight? Check out Hugh Hefner’s feed. On the other hand, the next time news breaks, it’ll be on Twitter well before you see it in any other news format. It’s just a matter of trying to find the signal amidst the noise.

T

—Dan Gibson, Web Producer dgibson@tucsonweekly.com

THE WEEK ON THE RANGE We watched Herman Cain exit the presidential race, despite the protests from his Arizona campaign chairwoman, state Sen. Lori Klein, who assured CBS News that Cain had never hit on her, “and I am not an unattractive woman”; observed the GOP race spiral downward with news that Donald Trump would be hosting a Republican debate; watched Ron Paul go after Newt Gingrich; and watched in astonishment as Rick Perry goofed up again.

We let you know that former state lawmaker Nancy Young Wright was considering a run for the Pima County Board of Supervisors; told you that the city clerk wanted City Council candidate Jennifer Rawson to return $32,000 in public campaign funds; and brought you the latest Arizona Illustrated Political Roundtable, moderated by Jim Nintzel.

We noted that Arizona ranked 47th out of 50 on a list of best-run states compiled by The Wall Street Journal; followed news out of the American Legislative Exchange Council meeting in Phoenix; and shared poll results that showed Arizonans were warming to gay marriage, and like Arizona State more than the UA. We shared conjecture about this year’s Great Cover-Up; told you how you could help a kid get a bike for Christmas; brought you other bicycling news of the week; advised you on how to get Section 8 housing assistance; imagined that the life of a door-to-door meat salesman must be tough; and noted that competitive eater Cardboard Shell had devoured the Bacon and Craeggs challenge.

We let know what songs our music writers selected for your listening pleasure; hooked you up with our medical-marijuana columnist, J.M. Smith, on Facebook; measured penis size across Europe; hungered for gingerbread houses; and praised The Arizona Republic’s decision to do away with anonymous comments.

We celebrated the launch of Arizona Public Media’s Ready TV; wondered if anyone should develop a board game centered on dog shit; discovered that most supermarket shoppers are inconsiderate jerks; told you how to help us get our Spring Arts Preview together; and wondered if Wonder Woman was sitting on our couch.

“Who is Larry? Not sure what his product is here, but I see that it cost a buck. I just bet it’s really tasty.”

—TucsonWeekly.com commenter “colshan” isn’t familiar with Larry the Cable Guy, and is willing to eat his food (“Goodbye, Society. It Was Fun While It Lasted,” The Range, Nov. 29).

BEST OF WWW Like every other blog on the planet, The Range is obligated to participate in some year-end reflection, right? It’s a little strange to look back on the first post of 2011 (Josh Morgan discussing tech trends for 2011) and think that a week later, the only thing that we’d be covering on The Range for awhile would be a shooting at a Safeway. We’ll look back on some of our favorite posts of 2011 over the next few weeks—both the serious stuff and our in-depth Insane Clown Posse coverage. If there’s something in particular that stands out, let us know, and we’ll include your input somewhere.

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CURRENTS

THE SKINNY CONTINUED

The Golder Ranch Fire District’s foothills annexation move has some residents concerned

from Page 11

Competing Protectors

reaching out to Secretary of State Ken Bennett to get a second opinion on how the law applies.

“I don’t understand why they’re doing this. If it is to keep me from doing this again, they didn’t have to worry about it,” Rawson says with a laugh. “I’m 64 now. In four years, I’ll be 68. And then it’s a four-year term to 72. I don’t think so.”

BY BRIAN J. PEDERSEN, bpedersen@tucsonweekly.com ekly.com ince forming 35 years ago at the request of northern Pima County homeowners who wanted their own fire department, the Golder Ranch Fire District has slowly expanded its boundaries south and west, and currently covers 200 square miles.

Most of that growth has gone unchallenged.

Many times, the annexations were warmly welcomed by residents and businesses, officials say.

“We don’t want to force ourselves on anyone,” said John Sullivan, the district’s administration and support services chief.

But Golder Ranch’s latest push to add another 7 square miles—including the upscale La Encantada shopping center—is likely to run into opposition.

About 5,000 residents would be affected by the change. The first time most of them heard about the proposal was around Thanksgiving, when fliers started showing up in mailboxes. Their main opportunity to ask questions about the proposal came Tuesday, Dec. 6, at a public hearing at Golder Ranch district headquarters—which is 15 miles from the proposed annexation area.

“I knew this was going to come sooner or later,” said Joe Frannea, president of the Cobo Catalina Hills homeowner association. “I really thought it would be Northwest (Fire/Rescue District), though.”

Foothills residents have a tradition of fighting off attempts to incorporate or annex the area.

Consider the landslide defeat of an incorporation vote a decade ago, or the out-of-the-woodwork backlash in 2008 from residents within an 88-acre sliver near First Avenue and River Road that the city of Tucson eyed.

The Golder Ranch district’s proposed annexation also would take away a large chunk of coverage—and revenue—from current provider Rural/Metro, a private company still healing from a furious fight to hold on to territory it covers in Sahuarita earlier this year.

“We’re still going to continue to provide service,” said Rural/Metro spokesman Grant Cesarek, adding that his company was “caught off guard” by Golder’s move to go public with its plans. In “most of the foothills territory, our placement is strategic, and our response times are excellent. Our service is second to none. We have a very good rate in that area.”

The proposed annexation area is bordered roughly by Campbell Avenue to the east, First Avenue to the west, Orange Grove Road to the south, and Magee Road to the north. The Golder district would also need to include two square miles of Coronado National Forest land north of Magee to comply with state laws requiring that annexed land be adjacent to the

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WRIGHT STUFF

district’s current coverage area.

Golder Ranch officials say their interest in the area is part of an effort to keep costs down through managed expansion. They say the move is not a money grab, despite the presence of nearly $2 million more in taxes the district could receive—a 15 percent increase in its existing tax base. They also note that their rates, which are a based on a property’s secondary assessed value, have stayed flat or dropped every year since 2001.

The current rate is $1.73 per $100 of assessed value, of which 14 cents helps pay for bonds the district has taken out for capital projects such as new fire stations.

In its boundary-change impact statement, Golder Ranch included figures for a home within the annexation area that would end up paying $743 for fire protection.

Coverage for the same house by Rural/Metro is currently $511 a year, based on a charge of 17 cents per square foot for homes less than 3,700 square feet. The rate is 19 cents for homes larger than 3,700 square feet. A $70 surcharge is added for parcels larger than seven acres.

Frannea, who has owned his home in Cobo Catalina Hills for 15 years, estimated the average home in his neighborhood would see its annual fire-protection cost go from $779 to $1,071, an increase of 37 percent.

“I have one neighbor whose bill is going to go up 108 percent,” Frannea said.

The markup is expected to be much higher for La Encantada, at Campbell Avenue and Skyline Drive. Officials with Westcor, the mall’s owner, declined to identify how much they’re paying Rural/Metro. But spokesman Mark Holder said the cost of switching to Golder Ranch “would be significantly higher.”

La Encantada’s assessed value is more than $5.6 million, according to county records, which would mean a property-tax increase of more than $97,000.

La Encantada is one of many clients in the annexation area that receive discounted Rural/ Metro coverage because of property features

such as sprinklers, fire hydrants and monitored alarm systems. Those features can result in discounts up to 40 percent, Cesarek said.

“A lot of the homes in that area are going toward the monitored fire alarms,” Cesarek said.

To counter concerns about a price increase, Golder Ranch officials say residents and businesses will be able to deduct property taxes on their income-tax returns, something that’s not possible with voluntary fire subscriptions. (Fire protection through Rural/Metro is not mandatory: The company sends a bill, and if a resident or business doesn’t pay it, and winds up needing service, the fire department will come … and so will an enormous bill. With fire districts, enrollment is mandatory.)

“They may see some relief through a tax deduction,” Golder Ranch community relations manager Josh Hurguy said.

Golder Ranch officials claim their service is superior to that of Rural/Metro. As an example, they point to the district’s automatic-aid agreement with Northwest Fire, which provides protection to the west of the proposed annexation.

Automatic aid means that when one district gets a call, the other will automatically provide assistance to either help with the call or cover areas left thin by the emergency.

Rural/Metro has no such agreements with Northwest, Golder Ranch or the Tucson Fire Department to the south. Instead, it relies on a mutual-aid agreement, in which those departments will help out when they can.

If an annexation push gets the green light from Golder Ranch’s governing board, the district will have a year to collect signatures from both a majority of the property owners, and property owners who control a majority of the area’s property value.

“We have nothing necessarily to prove or gain through the annexation other than shared resources over the area that ultimately benefit everyone,” Sullivan said. “It boils down to whether or not the property owners in the area want us.”

ANN

VIC

Democrat Nancy Young Wright, a former state lawmaker and former Amphitheater school board member, has taken another step toward running for the District 1 Pima County Board of Supervisors seat now held by the retiring Ann Day. Wright has formed an exploratory committee for a campaign in the district, which leans Republican.

Potential Republican candidates include Vic Williams, who was Wright’s seatmate in Legislative District 26 for several years (they don’t get along too well); Stuart McDaniel, a mortgage broker who worked on the campaign of unsuccessful congressional candidate Jesse Kelly in 2010; Ally Miller, a Tea Party activist; and Charlie Bowles, the vice president of sales and marketing for Diamond Ventures.

“I’m passionate about public service, and I’m really disturbed that someone as extreme as Vic or some of those other candidates could wind up representing District 1,” Wright says. “I’ve put a lot of time into fighting for some good stuff for this county, like the Sonoran Desert Conservation Plan, and I don’t want to see anyone undermine it.”

Wright tells The Skinny that she is also considering a run for the Arizona Legislature, but the new draft maps put her in a heavily Republican district where she’d have little chance of victory.

By Jim Nintzel Find early and late-breaking Skinny at The Range, our daily dispatch, at daily. tucsonweekly.com.

Jim Nintzel hosts the Political Roundtable every Friday on Arizona Illustrated, airing at 6:30 p.m. on KUAT Channel 6. The program repeats on 12:30 a.m., Saturday. Nintzel also talks politics with radio talk-show host John C. Scott on Wednesday afternoons. Scott’s show airs from 4 to 5 p.m., weekdays, on KVOI AM 1030.

Follow the Skinny scribe on Twitter: @nintzel.

DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

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CURRENTS In December 1911, Arizonans voted in an election that paved the way for statehood

A Progressive Sweep!

BY DAVE DEVINE, ddevine@tucsonweekly.com

R

Constitution. Also to be decided in December were the initial Arizona officeholders for seats including U.S. senator, state governor and many others. Of course, for these positions to be filled, the constitutional amendment would need to pass.

To prepare for the December vote, Sloan called for a primary election to be held on Oct. 24. Given the circumstances, numerous candidates threw their hats into the political ring.

One thing these candidates agreed upon was that the recall amendment should be adopted.

They also generally concurred that once Arizona became a state, the removal of judges should be reinserted into the Constitution.

The Citizen proclaimed that every candidate for the state Legislature should be asked to pledge to resubmit the recall issue. The Arizona Republican Party platform agreed, stating it supported “immediate re-submission of the recall of judges to a vote of the people.”

In early November 1911, several Republican candidates for office spoke at Tucson’s downtown opera house. Among them was Ralph Cameron, the man who, as Arizona’s territorial representative in Congress, was primarily responsible for shepherding the statehood measure to adoption. He was also a candidate for the U.S. Senate.

Cameron told those attending that some people thought he should have told Taft “to go to Hades, or some other place” over the recall issue. But, Cameron continued, “I took what I could get.”

In his final Thanksgiving message to the people of the Arizona Territory, Gov. Sloan declared the holiday “should be observed with thanks in recognition of the manifold blessings granted us during the year, and especially for the gift of statehood which awaits our acceptance.”

Ralph Cameron, as Arizona’s territorial representative in Congress, was primarily responsible for shepherding the statehood measure to adoption.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

ebuffed in their attempt to obtain statehood by a presidential veto in August 1911, Arizonans quickly sought a second chance.

Because it included a judicial-recall provision, President William Howard Taft had rejected Arizona’s draft Constitution. (See “Judging Democracy,” Aug. 4.) Within days, Congress sent him new legislation requiring the removal of the provision allowing the recall of judges.

Once that was done, Arizona could become a state.

“I sincerely hope,” one Tucsonan said of the contentious recall issue, “the required majority of our good people of our good territory may be as ready as I would be to lay aside any personal feeling in this matter and vote us into this great commonwealth. It is now up to us.”

The stakes were high, according to local leaders. The Tucson Citizen declared that statehood “(may not mean) greener grass nor heavier rainfall, but more people and more money to make the best use of the present resources which nature has given Arizona.”

Tucson Mayor Ira E. Huffman was more specific. “I am confident,” he predicted, “that Arizona’s population and taxable valuation will double within the first five years.”

Like most politicians, Huffman was overly optimistic. During the entire decade, Arizona’s population increased by about two-thirds.

Local businessman J.A. Rogers, on the other hand, speculated of statehood: “We may not have a boom. In fact, I hope we won’t have, for booms are not healthy for communities to have.”

Complying with the adopted federal legislation, territorial Gov. Richard E. Sloan called for a general election to be held on Dec. 12, 1911. On the ballot would be a simple “for” or “against” question of removing the judicial recall from the

While many people assumed the recall amendment would pass, the Arizona Daily Star aggressively championed the cause. In one article, the newspaper wrote that a vote against the amendment “would operate against statehood and continue the territory under carpet-bag rule with the handles of the bag in Washington.”

In another pre-election piece, the Star emphasized: “If you don’t want statehood; if you want to be bound, hand and foot; if you want to be a puppet, with the owner of the Punch and Judy show in Washington pulling the string that makes dependent mankind dance, vote against the amendment. … But if you want to be one of God’s creatures, with all the rights of manhood and independence; if you want to be a free American citizen, vote for the constitutional amendment.”

Going even further, before the December election, the Star prominently displayed the language of the recall amendment and showed the “for” box boldly checked.

All the political pressure paid off, and the

amendment passed easily. Although the Republicans had campaigned as “progressives,” the more-liberal Democrats made a clean sweep of the major federal and state offices.

Characterizing the results as “disappointing” but “not altogether discouraging,” Republican territorial Gov. Sloan believed Arizona eventually would change its political course.

“Immigration for the past few years,” he wrote Taft on Dec. 26, 1911, “has been largely from Republican states, and it is fair to assume, therefore, that a majority of these newcomers are Republicans.”

Ten days later, Sloan endorsed an ambitious idea originally put forth by the Citizen.

He wrote every governor in the nation, asking them to proclaim Arizona’s statehood admission day a holiday in their own states.

Unfortunately, Sloan admitted, when exactly Arizona would become a state was unknown.

But in early January of 1912, that seemed like just a minor detail that needed to be worked out.

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ARTE EN EL OTRO LADO/ART LADO/ ON THE OTHER SIDE SOME RESIDENTS OF NOGALES, SONORA, SAY THAT ART CAN REVIVE THEIR STRUGGLING CITY

Nogales, Sonora, native Paco Velez now lives in Tucson and works at his Toole Shed art studio in the Warehouse District.

STORY AND PHOTOS BY MARI HERRERAS, mherreras@tucsonweekly.com Driving down the main street that cuts through Nogales, Sonora, it dawns on me that maybe my always-worried mom is right after all: Maybe life on the other side of the border is dangerous.

The driver of the car is Nogales artist Guadalupe Serrano, who casually grips the steering wheel with his left hand. In his right hand, he holds a small remote control, turning up the stereo’s volume while hitting the gas and speeding into traffic on a busy street that appears to be one-way—and not the way we’re heading. continued on next page DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

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Luis Diego Amaya Taddei and Guadalupe Serrano worked on this mural with other Nogales artists. Serrano said this mural was completed for a medical exposition—but the images of people without skin now have a different meaning to the people of Nogales.

ART

continued from Page 15 Faith No More’s “Epic” grows louder, and the passenger-side door begins to vibrate. Oddly, I relax and think to myself, I can’t die. I’m in the car with artists who may be destined to rid Nogales and the border region of our preoccupation with narco-violence, through the power of art.

I watch as several cars avoid near head-on collisions, and try to ask questions above Mike Patton’s booming voice. Serrano—joined by documentary filmmaker Tino Varela, painter Luis Diego Amaya Taddei, and painter and performance artist Paco Velez—drives us through Nogales to check out a series of murals that have been going up in the city since the mid1990s as part of a municipal project that pays local artists to bring art to the people.

Inside City Hall, you can find one of the murals at the top of the main staircase. Off a busy street is another mural that Serrano explains was originally created for a medical exposition—but the people of Nogales came up with their own mythology, since the people in the mural are without skin, their muscles showing, stripped of their identities.

Back toward the border is a mural that’s more than a decade old and was recently refurbished when the building it is on was remodeled.

“Do you see how the hands follow you everywhere you walk?” Taddei asks. In the middle of the mural is the upper body of a man with a deer head, a take on the Yaqui deer dancer, a symbol of the state of Sonora. His arms are outstretched.

The painting method, Taddei says, was developed by Mexican muralist José Clemente Orozco, who with muralists Diego Rivera and David Alfaro Siqueiros propelled the Mexican art form, which is meant to do exactly what the murals in Nogales do—take art out of the museums, and bring them to the people.

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In a quiet neighborhood above a municipal jail, there’s another mural near a basketball court with a colorful vision of the small houses that cover the city’s hills.

As the artists walk across the basketball court, they stroll past a group of young girls sitting on the court and listening to their dance teacher talk about an upcoming recital, while their mothers sit on a nearby bench, waiting to take their children home.

The idyllic scene of the children listening to their teacher in a park is another part of Nogales these artists wish more people north of the border could see. If they did, perhaps rather than shunning Nogales, they’d understand the city these artists love.

Despite the narco-violence that haunts the border region, Varela says, Nogales residents go to school here, work here, love here and make art here—and most of them have nothing to do with cartels or narcotics-trafficking.

“We want to show another face of Nogales,” Varela says. “Most of us living here are not narcos. People need to know that inside this town, people live here and work here, just like they do in Tucson.”

T

here’s a bar on the eastside of Nogales where shellacked blowfish hang from the ceiling, and it’s so dark that you can barely see your hand in front of your face. It’s called La Tavernita, although locals and longtime Nogales visitors sometimes refer to it as the “fish bar.”

Varela loves this place, which is featured in his third documentary about Nogales. It’s also where he and his friends decided it was time to start an art collective that they named Nueva Escuela de Arte.

Taddei says there has been a group of established artists in Nogales, and most of the city’s art shows have featured the same rotating cast of artists. New and younger artists felt stifled, and “we want new artists to show new

work. We want the arts community to grow in Nogales.”

There’s another goal the collective shares— reaching out to artists across the border. That’s where Velez steps in. The Nogales native calls Tucson home, and he thinks that if governors and policymakers can’t heal the divisions caused by border issues such as narco-violence and SB 1070, maybe artists can.

When Velez was growing up in Nogales, he walked across the border every weekday morning to attend a Catholic school in Nogales, Ariz. Ever since, he’s lived and worked in both worlds, which offers him a unique perspective.

Right after Gov. Jan Brewer signed SB 1070 into law, Velez remembers being scared that he’d be pulled over, even though he’s in the country legally.

He also recalls watching the U.S. put up a new border wall—a large steel wall that no one can see through.

“You can’t see the other side like you used to,” Velez says. “It feels like everything has changed.”

But at the same time, Nogales, Sonora, remains his hometown. While driving through the middle-class neighborhood where he was raised, Velez points out a house down the hill from his childhood home, where his mother and stepfather still live.

“The punk band La Merma used to live there,” Velez says. “I’d go over there all the time to watch them practice or play guitar and drink beers.”

He points to another house in the neighborhood where Mexican Olympic medalist Ana Guevara grew up. Not a lot of tourists venture this far south into Nogales, Velez says. “If they did, maybe they’d realize that regular people live here.”

As you move away from the border, the stores that sell Cantinflas marionettes, madein-China mini-guitars and sun-bleached bull skulls begin to thin out, replaced by businesses that reflect the normal life Velez talks about:

supermarkets, bakeries, neighborhood bars, Chinese-buffet restaurants and tire shops.

Inside Velez’s house, his mother asks if he’s eaten anything. She dishes up rice, chicken and molé while her son heats up a stack of corn tortillas on the gas stove in the family’s kitchen.

In Spanish, she says she doesn’t get to see her son as often as she’d like. But lately, Velez has been spending more time in Sonora, away from his Tucson home and his studio at the Toole Shed warehouse on Toole Avenue.

In June and July, with friends Logan Phillips and Heather Wodrich, Velez put together Arizona Between Nosotros, a performance, media and visual-art exchange that took place in Tucson, Phoenix and Nogales, Sonora, with artists from Mexico and the United States.

Velez says that’s where he first got the idea of doing more art exchanges between Nogales and Tucson—and it made sense to include his Nogales friends and their collective.

In September, the first step in exchanging art between the two cities began at Velez’s Studio One space at the Toole Shed, with a display of works from visual artists in Nogales, Sonora, including some from Serrano and Taddei.

“I don’t think that’s ever been done before between Nogales and Tucson,” Velez says.

“Now that same show is headed to a gallery in Guadalajara, expanding our reach.”

On the Nogales side, the friends found a space for a gallery that they named Taco de Perro, an homage to the tacos from the street vendors in the city that some joke are made with dog meat. For one of the first shows, Velez brought works from Tucson artists such as painter and musician Salvador Duran.

This month, the collective opens a new show by a Nogales artist who’s painted for more than 20 years, but has never shown his work publicly until now.

“We’ve shown our work, so now we wanted to show the work of other artists in Nogales,” Varela says. “The point we want to make is to get away from showing the same artists over and over again, and to grow the community in Nogales.”

W

hile Velez walks toward La Tavernita, he laughs out loud, going over memories tied to this bar on the eastside of the city. La Tavernita was once surrounded by three busy table-dance bars, but they are now closed.

“I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble at this bar,” Velez says, telling a story that involves baseball players and their girlfriends, and Velez and his friends being chased from the bar and down the street by men carrying baseball bats.

Inside, Varela points out the barely visible junk that decorates the back of the dark bar.

Varela’s documentary on the bar, La Tavernita, Rock Frontera, is in production. “It’s an establishment here,” Varela says. “It makes sense that we came up with our collective in this place.”

The third documentary is the last of a trilogy Varela dedicated to Nogales, a city he tried to leave behind when he went to live in Guadalajara. “I realized that if (documentaries are) what I want to do, then the only place I want to do them is in Nogales. So I came home,” he says.

The first film in the trilogy is about the

Nogales punk band La Merma, called La Merma, 15 aĂąos de camino. The second, which he is finishing up, is Arte PĂşblico Yonke, ciudad a cuerpo, which includes Serrano and Taddei, and is about the public art and artists of Nogales. “I’m glad I came back,â€? Varela says. “I figured out the only thing I can truly talk about is this place. It’s been very revealing. When you’re from someplace, you don’t always see what makes your city special. When you return ‌ it’s new, like discovering sleeping monsters.â€?

One thing that Nogales and Tucson have in common is that many, if not most, of the families moved there from somewhere else. Velez’s grandfather and grandmother relocated to Nogales from Chiapas, and his stepfather is also from Chiapas. Serrano is from Sinaloa, and says he moved because Sinaloa was too conservative.

He kept getting beat up for having long hair.

What makes Nogales different from other Mexican cities, Velez says, “is that it’s a little bit of all of Mexico.�

L

ooking down from the hills east of the city, Nogales appears to be a city in constant motion—with foot traffic, cars passing through the border checkpoint, and taxis scrambling along the streets. There are also new structures, the artists point out, including El Instituto Municipal al Fomento a la Cultura y las Artes, a two-story building dedicated to performances, visual arts and Mexican cultural arts. Another building, almost complete, will house a contemporary-art museum.

Velez notes that it’s hard being a working artist in Tucson. Government support for the arts is shrinking; keeping and finding studio space can sometimes be a battle. When he buys supplies, he goes to The Home Depot for the best deals, snapping up gallons of rejected paint, usually in fuchsia. “I’m lucky I like that color,� he says, laughing.

In contrast, his friends and counterparts in Nogales get paid to create murals there. They are provided free studio space at the cultural center, and even the paint, which comes in a range of beautiful shades, is subsidized by the government. “It’s not hard to feel that artists are taken more seriously here,� Velez says.

Then a question comes up about the border: Do the artists, including Varela, consider themselves border artists?

Luis Diego Amaya Taddei, Tino Varela and Guadalupe Serrano stand in front of a mural in the Nogales, Sonora, municipal building.

The answer, it turns out, is complicated—yes and no. The two Nogaleses were once separated by a small fence instead of the mammoth steel one that now cuts through neighborhoods, right against the heart of the city’s tourist district. People once crossed easily between the two cities, creating an interdependent economy.

Serrano bristles at the question. It’s obvious that border politics informs his work, but it’s not exactly reflected in his art. In Spanish, he says that he likes to think there is more to Nogales than the border and the fence. “But it seems there are a lot of artists out there who come down to the frontera, take a picture, go home, and call themselves border artists,� Serrano says. “There are artists working on the themes of violence, but only creating it because it is a fashionable topic, not because they really understand it.�

Serrano’s work is colorful. One series of paintings features fish moving across the canvas. Another group of large paintings depicts mythological women, nude with horse and bull heads.

Taddei’s work is far more political. There’s a painting of a Cantinflas marionette holding a real Cantinflas marionette dangling from the canvas—the puppet is controlling the puppet.

Another painting is of a sad woman in a black veil, like La Llorona of the border. Yet another is of a man’s face cut in half by the border wall, represented by a piece of fabric that protrudes from the center of the painting. One side of the man’s face is obviously Mexicano, while the other side is Anglo.

Velez’s work is more violent—including a black-and-red painting of a pig torn apart, and

other works that use narco imagery or play on words taken from border politics. “It’s not always family-friendly work,� Velez warns.

J

ulio CÊsar Sarmiento, a poet and newspaper reporter originally from Chiapas who’s lived in Nogales for almost 40 years, is Velez’s stepfather.

Sarmiento says he thinks he has a unique perspective on Nogales after writing about and working in the city for so long. He’s written five books, including one on the history of Nogales.

It’s true, he says, that its residents come from across Mexico. But the city is also a mixture of U.S. and Mexican culture, he notes. “It is a space of both and neither.�

He says the city even has its own words, a

mixture of Spanish and English that you only hear on the streets of Nogales.

The narco-violence, he laments, has “isolated us from the world,� although he points out that it is a problem for all of Mexico, not just the border cities.

In Nogales, however, it has caused the neardestruction of the tourist district. Sarmiento says many of his friends’ shops in the district have gone out of business. Sarmiento estimates that only 50 percent of the stores that once thrived in the area remain, but he says that doesn’t mean that things couldn’t turn around. “But it would take more security for the area in order for people to return,� he says.

Despite the losses, Sarmiento sees a city that has gone through many positive changes, including an increase in the population that has helped create a better economy, with more factories and growth in other businesses. He says there’s also more interest in the culture of the area, and more attention paid to the welfare of the city’s children.

And there is the art. Serrano and Taddei have three mural projects in the planning stage, and Velez plans to bring together a group of Tucson artists who will live in Nogales while they work on one. Likewise, Serrano, Taddei and a few other Nogales artists will come to Tucson to work on a mural in the Warehouse District. “Maybe working together, and making art, can help us remember how we used to treat each other, and remember how important we used to be to each other,� Velez says. “Maybe that could help us look at the border differently. I’m hoping it can heal what’s taking place—that art can heal the border.�

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CITYWEEK

DECEMBER 8-14, 2011 OUR TOP PICKS OF WHAT TO DO AND WHERE TO DO IT

BY JANICE BIANCAVILLA, DEBBIE HADLEY AND KELLIE MEJDRICH

Filth for a Cause

Shake Those Hips!

PICK OF THE WEEK

It was 3 p.m. on a Thursday when I caught Doug Stanhope on the phone. He was en route to record a podcast, he said—and was waiting for his ’shrooms to kick in.

Perfect.

The standup comedian and Bisbee-area resident has been described as obscene, vulgar, profane and perverted. He is a man not afraid to speak openly about his drug use and perusing of online porn. He’s clearly not for the easily offended.

According to Stanhope, he’s not the type to do benefit shows. “As far as I remember, I did one once for legalizing weed, and I’m not even a pot-smoker,” he said. However, following a major act of kindness to him, Stanhope is now doing something nice: All proceeds from his upcoming show at the Rialto Theatre this Saturday will go to the Humane Society of Southern Arizona.

Why would a man who compares the crudeness of his show to sadomasochistic porn want to benefit innocent animals?

Well … for years, Stanhope didn’t think much about the odd shape of his tummy, which protruded abnormally near his self-proclaimed “beer belly.” In fact, he thought pulling up his shirt was a funny self-introduction when he lacked something witty to say.

Last year, he learned that the strange sticking-out of his outie belly button was actually a medical condition called an umbilical hernia. Although it wasn’t life-threatening, a nurse friend mentioned nasty potential side effects—and that was reason enough for Stanhope to begin posting online bribe offers to any doctor willing to rid him of his belly bulge.

All Stanhope had to offer prospective doctors were show tickets, autographed CDs, DVDs and a “Fuck the Yankees” T-shirt. Luckily, some Tucson anesthesiologists are fans, and they gathered some willing doctors and agreed to do the surgery free. According to his doctors, the surgery ultimately would have cost between $8,000 and $15,000.

“I was like, ‘Fuck. How do I even say thank you?” he said.

So …

To show his appreciation, he agreed to do a performance in Tucson benefiting a charity of the doctors’ choice, which turned out to be the Humane Society of Southern Arizona.

The comedy show is titled Doug Stanhope and Friends. Comics Neil Hamburger, Henry Phillips, Lynn Shawcroft, Brody Stevens, Brendon Walsh and Garrett Staab will join Stanhope onstage. Nowhere Man and Whiskey Girl will provide the musical accompaniment.

“I started out with Twittering everyone I did or didn’t know, some who are famous—Dane Cook, Michael Vick and Jim Gaffigan—anyone I could think of that was a name.”

For no reason in particular, Stanhope has been name-dropping Sarah Silverman Doug Stanhope as much as possible, in the hopes that she just might show up.

Stanhope’s friends agreed to do the show for free. Although Stanhope notes that he was unable to capture any “big swingin’ dicks for names,” he confessed that if it weren’t his show, he wouldn’t do it, either.

“I’m paying all their expenses out of pocket,” Stanhope said of his friends who are participating. “It’s all going to the Humane Society. I

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SPECIAL EVENTS

don’t even think (the Humane Society is) behind it, to tell you the truth. No one told them that we were doing it on their behalf until a month ago.”

If you are planning to attend the show simply because it supports a worthy cause, be warned: Stanhope’s comedy isn’t for what he describes as “charitable, nice people.” He encouraged all prospective audience members to check out his comedy on YouTube.

“If you don’t like my comedy, we have six other comics on the bill who are brilliant,” Stanhope added. “It’s better comedy than Laffs brings in a year, and it goes to fuzzy kittens and starving puppies.”

Stanhope said he has no plans to water down his routine for the show. He jokes that the show may include videos of “animal porn,” such as a puppy humping a chicken while Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” plays in the background. He said he also intends to auction off his mother’s ashes.

Why in the hell would someone want Stanhope’s mother’s ashes?!

“Because my fans are creepy as shit,” Stanhope said. “And I’m sure eBay has a rule against it.”

The Doug Stanhope and Friends comedy show takes place at 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, at the Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. The show is all-ages (but be warned that the content won’t be all-ages-appropriate).

Tickets are $25 for general admission. For more information about Stanhope, visit www.dougstanhope.com.

Janice Biancavilla mailbag@tucsonweekly.com

Salsa Dancing Social benefits BorderLinks 5 to 9 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11 Arizona Ballroom Company 5536 E. Grant Road 628-8263; www.borderlinks.org

Dancing the night away is a requirement for this salsa-dancing fundraiser that benefits BorderLinks, a nonprofit organization that educates individuals and groups on issues involving the U.S.Mexico borderlands.

The Salsa Dancing Social is meant to be a place for interested parties to mingle and have fun—while raising money for a good cause.

“It’s a very innovative way to connect the salsa-dancing community in Tucson to other people who also might be interested not just in salsa dancing, but in social justice and education,” said Nancy Cordova, an administrative and development assistant for BorderLinks.

“I’m from the border and have always been interested in border issues and how global economics affects our local economics—and how all of this is connected to (migration). … BorderLinks has offered me a very good place to learn.”

Cordova, who has been with BorderLinks for 2 1/2 years, said the organization uses experimental educational tools to reach people who have questions about border issues.

The salsa event is also a way to celebrate the group’s accomplishments, she said, adding that it is the first time she and Susanna McKibben, a program organizer for BorderLinks, have used a social experience to raise awareness and funds for the group.

“Susanna has been involved with the border community in Tucson and is well-connected to the dancing company that will be with us at the Arizona Ballroom. That’s how the idea evolved,” Cordova said. “We’re trying to provide an opportunity to meet with our community. We’re offering a meeting point.”

Admission is $10. —D.H.

Jon Benda and Joseph Sanchez

Stephanie Spira McNeil

Far left: A Cactus Christmas opens with a preview Thursday, Dec., 8, at Beowulf Theatre Company, 11 S. Sixth Ave. Performances are at 7:30 p.m., ThursdaySaturday; and 2:30 p.m., Sunday; $19.

Call 882-0555 for info.

Left: Finding John by Victoria Tulk will screen as part of “What’s Up Docs,” short documentaries from UA film students, at 7 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14, at the Loft, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.; free.

SPECIAL EVENTS

SPECIAL EVENTS

MUSIC

By Women, for Women

A Traditional Feast

Jazz Up Your Holiday

“Our Voice: Migration, Gender and Human Rights”

Posada benefits Save Ethnic Studies

Tucson Community Music School Winter Jazz Bash

9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10 Wakefield Middle School 101 W. 44th St. 770-1373; www.derechoshumanosaz.net

Every year, Coalición de Derechos Humanos hosts an event to commemorate international Human Rights Day on Dec. 10—and this year’s event is a teach-in that includes a mixture of discussions and presentations specific to women.

“The issue of human rights is a continuing problem in our world,” said Kat Rodriguez, program director for Derechos Humanos. “This year, we’re doing this from a perspective from women. Conferences are a good way to have those kinds of conversations about violence and how resistance can begin.”

Derechos Humanos is a self-described grassroots organization that aims to protect civil rights while fighting against discrimination by law enforcement.

“Our Voice” will be presented in two parts. During the first part, discussions will center on women and violence.

Workshops will involve issues of women’s rights and what can be done about violence toward women—regardless of their race, sexual orientation or legal status.

During the break, James Jordan of the Alliance for Global Justice will read from Beyond the Walls: An Evening With the Women of Buen Pastor, Patio Six, a play that features the stories of seven female prisoners in Colombia.

The second part of the conference focuses on women and resistance.

“A woman will speak about her perspective (of) living in the immigrant community,” Rodriguez said. “Representatives from UNIDOS and the LGBTQ community will also lead discussions.”

The workshops that follow will be centered on food justice (what you eat), female youth and women in media.

“We hope that people, including men, are interested. … We would love to have a broad and diverse group,” Rodriguez said.

Admission is a $10 suggested donation, or $5 for people with low incomes.—D.H.

6 to 8:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10 Mercado San Agustín 100 S. Avenida del Convento 343-4900; www.lasadelitasarizona.org

Las Adelitas Arizona, a Tucson nonprofit dedicated to empowering Latinas and encouraging them to get involved in the political process, is hosting a posada—a traditional Mexican holiday celebration.

The aim is to raise money for Save Ethnic Studies, a group of teachers, administrators and students fighting to keep Mexican-American studies as part of the Tucson Unified School District curriculum, said Laura Dent, chairwoman of the board of Las Adelitas Arizona.

Of the four ethnic-studies programs in TUSD, “Mexican-American studies is the only ethnic program that’s targeted,” Dent said. “So we decided as a community to support Save Ethnic Studies,” a group which has gone to court to fight legislation that outlaws the program.

“It’s important for Las Adelitas, because all of us are grandmothers, mothers, sisters and friends of people who are benefiting from this program,” Dent said. “The program has almost completely inverted the achievement gap for Mexican-American students.”

The tradition of posada, which means “inn” in Spanish, includes a feast as part of a nine-day celebration that recalls the biblical story of Mary and Joseph’s search for lodging before Mary gave birth to Jesus. The dinner will feature traditional Mexican foods such as rice, beans, tamales, birria (shredded meat) and champurrado (a kind of traditional Mexican hot chocolate), Dent said. There will also be a piñata for the kids, she said.

“We have a lot of awesome Latinas and women in government attending,” Dent said, including Tucson City Councilwomen Regina Romero and Karin Uhlich.

“It’s just going to be a lot of fun, and it’s for a good cause,” she said.

Tickets are $20 for adults, and $10 for students; kids eat free, Dent said.

—K.M.

2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11 Berger Performing Arts Center 1200 W. Speedway Blvd.

514-0935; tucsoncommunitymusicschool.com

It may be cold outside, but student jazz musicians will warm things up at the Tucson Community Music School’s Winter Jazz Bash.

The award-winning jazz groups’ concert will feature classics as well as a brand-new arrangement of Radiohead songs.

“They’re fantastic and really interesting,” said Doug Tidaback, director of big bands at the Tucson Community Music School, said of the Radiohead arrangements. “The kids love them.

They’re very excited to be playing them and hearing them.”

The concert also serves as a CD-release party for the school’s Ellington Big Band, which in 2010 was named the No. 1 community high school jazz band in the United States by jazz musician Wynton Marsalis and Jazz at Lincoln Center.

The school topped hundreds of bands in the U.S., Tidaback said.

“Recordings were featured on National Public Radio.”

The school provides students with an opportunity to learn jazz skills in an environment that does not compete with high school programs, Tidaback said. “Our goal is not to replace anything that’s in the community, but to supplement them. If (students) are in our program, we require them to be in their high school program.”

One especially rewarding part of this concert is to see how the students have matured as musicians, Tidaback said.

“Every time they perform, they get a little bit better and develop more concepts,” he said. “We have some incredibly talented students. Our top groups sound like professional groups. They don’t sound like high school groups.”

Tickets are $20 for adults, and $15 for students. Children younger than 10 are admitted for free. —K.M.

A festival celebrates Our Lady of Guadalupe with music, dance and a procession, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sun-day, Dec. 11, at DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun, 6300 N. Swan Road. Free with a donation for the Community Food Bank.

Submissions CityWeek includes events selected by Janice Biancavilla, Debbie Hadley and Kellie Mejdrich and is accurate as of press time.

Tucson Weekly recommends calling event organizers to check for last-minute changes in location, time, price, etc. To have material considered, please send complete information by Monday at noon 11 days prior to publication. Send to: Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726, or fax information to 792-2096, or e-mail us at listings@tucsonweekly.com.

DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

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SPECIAL EVENTS

TQ&A

EVENTS THIS WEEK

Rachel Molyneux

2ND SATURDAYS DOWNTOWN Santa’s Village, a holiday window-decorating contest, lighting of a Christmas tree, strolling carolers, street performers and car clubs provide a seasonal backdrop for December’s 2nd Saturdays Downtown events on Saturday, Dec. 10. Free activities include Emily Dickinson’s 181st Birthday Bash, featuring birthday cake and an art exhibit at 7 p.m., at Hotel Congress; a My Town Music student-musician showcase; and performances by Dance for a Cause, the jazz and blues duo of Lisa Otey and Diane Van Duerzen, and Kevin and Tanishia Hamilton’s Soul Celebration. Also free are a kids’ jumping castle and a screening of the family film A Christmas Story. Science Downtown features the exhibit Mars and Beyond; $10 to $18; free member or patron in a wheelchair. The legendary L.A. punk band “X” performs at 7 p.m. the Fox Theatre; $22 to $38.

Standup comedian Doug Stanhope performs a benefit for the Humane Society of Southern Arizona at 8 p.m., at the Rialto Theatre; $25. Visit 2ndsaturdaysdowntown.com for a complete schedule and more information.

Rachel Molyneux adopted her first “pit” when she was 16 and working at a local animal shelter. “Pit” is the word Molyneux affectionately uses for the Staffordshire terrier, aka pit bull. Since then, Molyneux has adopted more pits and is a local cheerleader for the breed. She and her boyfriend last year started Pit n’ Proud, an organization that offers training and education classes for pit owners and the community. Their goal is to remind folks that, despite some negative press, pits are generally good dogs. For more information, search on Facebook for Pit n’ Proud, or email info@pitnproud.com.

Mari Herreras, mherreras@tucsonweekly.com

How did the group start?

As a loosely formed email group. My boyfriend and I had thought about forming a breed club, because there was no place for pit owners to come together and do something positive. Then it quickly morphed into what it is now—an advocacy and education program. As we got people together and talked about the lack of positive images, we realized there was more we could do, like encourage pit owners to participate in competitive dog-sport events.

Are pit bulls not allowed in some competitive events?

They are allowed in most of the competitive dog sports, but there’s just not enough support. People who don’t know pits don’t know they can do pretty much anything. When people think agility, they think border collie, but there are pits that have excelled in this area.

They are also great working dogs. Pits have excelled in herding competitions.

How does Pit n’ Proud work?

We have a two-pronged approach. We want to be proactive and communitybased. We believe in providing support to the pit community as a whole. If we take a proactive role and train people to train dogs, the dogs will be better represented in public. Every dog that’s a pit is judged, so it’s more important than ever 20 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

for pits to be well-behaved.

The other (approach) is public education and teaching classes that introduce people to real statistics. We also are working on a therapy-dog program.

How does the therapydog class work?

They are all certified through the Delta Society, an all-breed organization that certifies therapy dogs for hospice programs, reading programs at libraries, and to take into schools for education. We have a dogbite-prevention class. … It’s also a good opportunity for kids who have been victims of stereotyping or bias, just like the breed. We’re hoping to do some juvenile-detention work.

What training is offered?

The trainings are run at cost, and we have scholarships. …

Also, if anyone is having an in-home problem, we offer a consultation that is free, and then is $65 per session if they need more help. It’s a good way to offer targeted one-on-one training. There are scholarships available for that, too. We are also in the process of offering the Canine Good Citizen class, which is a more-comprehensive eight-week course that starts with human education the first week, and then the next seven weeks are behavioral training in prep for the American Kennel Club evaluation and Good Citizen test.

How do you describe pits?

Pits are usually intense and active, but they are total people-pleasers. If you can convince them that all good comes from you, you will get what you want.

When did you discover the breed?

I stumbled across the breed when I was 13, and I first started working in an animal shelter. I didn’t have any misconceptions. My experience was positive. Then I happened to adopt one when I was 16, because she was so open: She chose me, and that’s what really got me on their side. The more I encountered problems, the more of an advocate I became of the breed. They are more often victims of abuse and neglect, and they don’t get adopted often.

Those statistics have made me want to do more for them.

Do you think misconceptions are changing?

The tide is shifting, but it is still a rocky period. … The image of the dogs is recovering thanks to a lot of positive groups and TV shows.

But we think we still have a lot of work left to do. I’ve encountered people on both sides, including families with children, who’ve taken in these dogs and love them.

Then there are others who only want them for their tough macho image.

ARIZONA DANCE THEATRE’S NUTCRACKER TEA Chantilly Tea Room. 5185 N. Genematas Drive. 6223303. High tea, holiday music, a silent auction and an opportunity to meet Clara and others from The Nutcracker Ballet are featured at 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $25, $18 age 10 or younger. Proceeds benefit the Arizona Dance Theatre Ballet Company. Call 887-5658 for reservations; visit creativedancearts.com for more information.

DESERT VOICES CABARET Tucson Women’s Club. 6245 E. Bellevue Road. 2963142. Eat, Drink and Make Merry is an occasion to discuss food memories, sing songs, tell stories, enjoy a silent auction and savor small plates and beverages at 6 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10. $50; $45 advance.

The GLBTS chorus welcomes new singers at 7 p.m., every Monday, at Water of Life MCC Church, 3269 N. Mountain Ave. Visit desertvoices.org for reservations or more info.

FIESTA DE GUADALUPE DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun. 6300 N. Swan Road.

299-9191. A family festival celebrates Our Lady of Guadalupe with outdoor mariachi and folklorico performances, a Yaqui deer dance and a Las Posadas procession from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; free with a donation for the Community Food Bank. Piñatas are hoisted for breaking every hour, and vendors offer regional food for sale.

FOURTH AVENUE WINTER STREET FAIR More than 400 vendors of arts and crafts, 35 food vendors, entertainment on two stages and kids’ activities take place on Fourth Avenue between Ninth Street and University Boulevard from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Friday through Sunday, Dec. 9 through 11; free. Visit fourthavenue.org for more information.

GREAT BEAN TASTING Native Seeds/SEARCH Retail Store. 3061 N. Campbell Ave. 622-5561. Some of Tucson’s finest chefs prepare recipes using locally grown native beans for free sampling beginning at 11 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10. Visit nativeseeds.org for more information.

HOLIDAY EVENTS AT LOEWS VENTANA CANYON Loews Ventana Canyon Resort. 7000 N. Resort Drive.

299-2020. The 12 Days of Christmas features consecutive nights each with a live holiday performance by a different community group, from 6:15 to 7 p.m., through Thursday, Dec. 15; free, food and refreshments are available for purchase. Enjoy a pancake breakfast with Santa, play games, and hear stories from 9 to 11 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $20. The Jewish Community Center Childrens’ Choir performs traditional Hanukkah songs, and traditional treats are served, from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 21; free.

workshops and presentations led by women who work on issues of global justice. All sessions are presented in both English and Spanish. Also featured is a reading of the play Beyond the Walls: An Evening With the Women of Buen Pastor, Patio Six, and a performance by puppeteer Gabriela Galup. Call 770-1373 for more information.

SALSA DANCING SOCIAL Arizona Ballroom Company. 5536 E. Grant Road.

BorderLinks, an organization that hosts border-studies delegations, benefits from a dance party from 5 to 9 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $10 admission, $5 food tickets.

Appetizers are served, and the Salson Choreography Class performs from 5 to 6 p.m.; a live band plays for dancing from 6 to 9 p.m. Visit borderlinks.org for more information.

ZOO LIGHTS Reid Park Zoo. 1030 S. Randolph Way. 881-4753.

Jingle bells, falling snow and Santa are featured among the twinkling lights from 6 to 8 p.m., Thursday through Sunday, through Friday, Dec. 23; $5, $4 member, $3 age 2 through 14, free younger child. Visit tucsonzoo. org for more information.

UPCOMING TUCSON VILLAGE FARM BENEFIT SHOW Tucson Village Farm. 4210 N. Campbell Ave. 6265161. Art by Art for People and farm-fresh hors d’oeuvres are sold to benefit Tucson Village Farm programs from 1 to 4 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17; free admission. Raffle tickets are sold for a trip to South Africa.

Call or visit tucsonvillagefarm.com for more information.

BULLETIN BOARD EVENTS THIS WEEK ATLATL AND SPEAR-MAKING WORKSHOP Old Pueblo Archaeology Center. 2201 W. 44th St. 7981201. Allen Denoyer teaches how to fashion atlatls and wooden spears like the ones ancient peoples used worldwide, from 9 a.m. to noon, Saturday, Dec. 10; $45, $36 member. Bring a pocket knife; all other equipment and materials are provided. Reservations are required.

Call 798-1201, or email info@oldpueblo.org for reservations or more information.

BE A SANTA TO A SENIOR A program to provide gifts and companionship to seniors who otherwise might have neither continues through Monday, Dec. 19. Donors pick up an ornament with a senior’s name and wish list, then return the ornament with items from the list. Volunteers wrap and deliver the gifts. Locations and details are at beasantatoasenior.com.

BOOK AND BAKE SALE FOR HOPE ANIMAL SHELTER Hope Animal Shelter. 2011 E. 12th St. 792-9200.

Holiday treats and books for giving and reading are for sale from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; free for browsing.

DE-OCCUPY O’ODHAM LANDS! Dry River Collective. 740 N. Main Ave. 882-2170. Ward Churchill, John Zerzan and Julian Kunnie speak at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $10 to $20 requested donation, but no one will be turned away. A vegetarian meal is included. The event benefits O’odham VOICE Against the WALL, an organization working to reunite O’odham lands and families split by the imposition of the U.S.Mexico border.

FOR GOD, GOLD AND GLORY: THE CORONADO EXPEDITION Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. A presentation offers a virtual tour through artists’ interpretations, historic photographs and archaeological remains from a campsite used in Coronado’s 1540 to 1542 expedition, from 3 to 4 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; free.

LAS ADELITAS ARIZONA POSADA TO SAVE ETHNIC STUDIES Mercado San Agustín. 100 S. Avenida del Convento.

461-1110, ext. 8. Traditional food, drinks, singing, music of the holidays and piñatas are featured at a benefit for Save Ethnic Studies from 6 to 9 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $20. Visit lasadelitasarizona.org, or call 3434900 for tickets or more information.

FORT LOWELL WALKING TOUR Fort Lowell Park. 2900 N. Craycroft Road. A guide in period costume leads a tour of the riparian area, the pond, the excavated Hohokam pit house and village, the reconstructed commanding officer’s quarters and the museum, while telling stories about the lives of the military families who lived there, at 10 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $10, free child.

OUR VOICE: MIGRATION, GENDER AND HUMAN RIGHTS Wakefield Middle School. 101 W. 44th St. 225-3800.

An event to celebrate International Human Rights Day, Dec. 10, and the International Day of the Migrant, Dec. 8, takes place from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $5 suggested donation; lunch and child care are provided. The day’s events include speakers,

GRANTS DATABASES OPEN LAB Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. Volunteers, staff and board members of nonprofit and community organizations research private grantmakers with the help of a librarian from 2 to 4 p.m., the second Friday of every month; free. Seating is firstcome, first-served. Call 791-4010 for more information.

MATA ORTIZ JEWELRY SHOW AND SALE Tucson Botanical Gardens. 2150 N. Alvernon Way. 326-9686, ext. 10. Jewelry made by Agustin Torres, a Nahuatl Indian, from sherds of Mata Ortiz pottery encased in silver, is displayed and sold from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Friday and Saturday, Dec. 9 and 10; free with admission. Visit mataortiztoyou.com for more information about the jewelry. Hours are 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., daily; $8, $4 child age 4 to 12, free younger child or member. Call or visit tucsonbotanical.org for more information.

PHOTOGRAPHY: FROM SNAPSHOT TO FINE ART Martha Cooper Branch, Tucson-Pima Public Library.

1377 N. Catalina Ave. 594-5315. A photography class covers how to see and shoot compelling images that tell a story, from 3:30 to 5:30 p.m., every Wednesday, through Dec. 14; free. Participants attend as many or as few classes as they like. Call 594-5322 for more information.

VETERANS FOR PEACE Ward 3 Council Office. 1510 E. Grant Road. 791-4711.

Chapter 13 meets from 7 to 8:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 12. The agenda includes guest speakers, discussion of local events and updates on VFP involvement in the Occupy movement. Call 747-3138 or 298-7498 for more information.

BUSINESS & FINANCE EVENTS THIS WEEK SCORE BUSINESS COUNSELING Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. 2295300. Get individualized advice about starting or building a business from experienced executives from 3 to 5 p.m., every Tuesday; and from 9 a.m. to noon, every Saturday, except Dec. 10, 24 and 31; free. Call for an appointment.

YWORKS EMPLOYMENT TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM FOR WOMEN YWCA Frances McClelland Leadership Center. 525 N. Bonita Ave. 884-7810. Employment-training and development workshops for women who are unemployed, underemployed or transitioning in the workforce take place from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., the second and third Tuesday of each month. Computer-skills help is available from noon to 5 p.m., the second and third Wednesday of each month. $25 per workshop. Scholarships and internships are available. Call 884-7810, ext. 102, to register or for more information.

UPCOMING WOMEN IMPACTING TUCSON Manning House. 450 W. Paseo Redondo. 770-0714.

Bob and Beth Walkup speak about “12 Years of Making History” from 11:20 a.m. to 1 p.m., Monday, Dec. 12; $25, $20 with RSVP by Thursday, Dec. 8. Call for reservations.

WORD WEAVERS Dry River Collective. 740 N. Main Ave. 882-2170. A women’s writing circle meets from 1 to 3 p.m., every Friday, except Dec. 23, in Kaitlin’s Creative Cottage in the courtyard; $5. Bring writing tools; tea, cookies and interesting writing prompts are provided.

HOLIDAY MIXER AND HIGH JINX Lodge on the Desert. 306 N. Alvernon Way. 320-2000.

A holiday networking mixer for Tucson’s advertising and public-relations community takes place from 5 to 7 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 20. The ticket price includes live entertainment, appetizers and a first beverage from the cash bar. Ticket prices vary; visit aaftucson.com to register and for more information. Participating organizations are the American Advertising Federation Tucson, Ad2 Tucson, the Public Relations Society of America Southern Arizona Chapter and the Tucson American Marketing Association.

OUT OF TOWN

ANNOUNCEMENTS

DEMOCRATIC CLUB OF THE SANTA RITA AREA Green Valley Democratic Headquarters. 260 W. Continental Road. Green Valley. 838-0590. The club discusses current events every Wednesday, from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.; free. All are welcome. Email acalkins10@aol.com, or visit gvdemocrats.org for more information.

DROP-IN JOB HELP Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. A computer instructor provides one-on-one job help, including resume-writing; choosing a career; and updating interviewing, networking and job-search skills, from noon to 3 p.m., each Monday; and from 9 a.m. to noon, each Thursday, in the second-floor Catalina Room; free. Walk-ins are welcome. Call 791-4010, or email askalibrarian@pima.gov to register or for more information.

DEMOCRATS OF ORO VALLEY MONTHLY MEETING Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. 2295300. The Democrats of Oro Valley meet at 7 p.m., the second Monday of every month; free. All are welcome.

EVENTS AT RINCON VALLEY FARMERS AND ARTISANS MARKET Rincon Valley Farmers and Artisans Market. 12500 E. Old Spanish Trail. Vail. 591-2276. Hours are 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday. Dec. 10: Tamale festival with Santa, pony rides and, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., live music by John Hall. Dec. 17: Pet day and community sale behind the barn. Closed Dec. 24 and 31. Visit rvfm.org for more information about upcoming events; and rinconinstitute. org for more information about the market’s sponsors.

FRONTIER PRINTING PRESS DEMONSTRATION Tubac Presidio State Historic Park. 1 Burruel St. Tubac. 398-2252. Printer and teacher James Pagels demonstrates the 1858 Washington Press used to print Arizona’s first newspaper, from 10 a.m. to noon, Thursday, Dec. 8; Tuesday, Dec. 13; and from 11 a.m. to noon, Thursday, Dec. 29; $4, $1 age 7 to 13, free child age 6 and younger, includes admission to the Presidio.

UPCOMING CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP Joyner-Green Valley Branch, Tucson-Pima Public Library.

601 N. La Cañada Drive. Green Valley. 594-5295.

Grandparents and adoptive and other kinship caregivers meet for information and mutual support at 10:30 a.m., the third Friday of every month; free. Lunch is provided.

Call 323-4476, ext. 109, for information.

CONNECTIONS TO BENEFITS EVENT Ellie Towne Flowing Wells Community Center. 1660 W. Ruthrauff Road. 887-9786. One-on-one consultation with an economic resource specialist provides direction and access to available benefits, from 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 15; free. Call 903-3912 to schedule an appointment.

JOB-SEEKERS’ GATHERING Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. 2295300. Former executive recruiter Beth Cole facilitates a gathering for adult job-seekers from 3 to 4 p.m., every Friday; free. Call for more information.

FILM EVENTS THIS WEEK AND OTHER PROJECTS: VIDEO ART SCREENING Loft Cinema. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-7777.

A collection of videos by recent students of Sama Alshaibi’s University of Arizona graduate course in conceptual video is shown at noon, Thursday, Dec. 8; $5.

Call 795-0844 for more information.

BRIDGE OVER THE WADI Sonora Cohousing’s Common House. 501 E. Roger Road. 293-5290. A 2006 documentary by Tomer and Barak Heyman follows a group of Arab and Jewish parents who establish a school together. It screens from 7 to 9 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14; free.

LIGHT OF THE LAMP Loft Cinema. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-7777. The Lamp, based on the book by Jim Stovall, screens at 9:30 a.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $10 to $25 suggested donation to benefit Tucson Hebrew Academy. Visit lightofthelamp.com/eugenecarter145 for tickets and more information.

LOFT CINEMA SPECIAL EVENTS Loft Cinema. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-7777.

Unless otherwise noted, show time is 7:30 p.m., and tickets are $5 to $9. Visit loftcinema.com for a complete list of all shows and special events. Thursday, Dec. 8: One-Hit Wonders, Eames: The Architect and the Painter. Friday, Dec. 9, at 7 p.m.: Revenge of the Electric Car; a Q&A with director Chris Paine follows.

Tuesday, Dec. 13: Loft Film Fest Showcase, Battle for Brooklyn, documenting a neighborhood’s battle against big business. Wednesday, Dec. 14: What’s Up Docs?,

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FILM

child age 4 to 17, free member or child younger than 4; includes admission. Dec. 10: A mini-board game; also, Havin’ a Blast Quartet sings carols in the galleries. Dec. 17: A mini-Christmas cactus.

HEALTH

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documentaries by UA film students; free. Thursday, Dec. 15: The Very Merry Holiday Sing-Along Spectacular, presented by Bookmans, including a bad-sweater parade and a holiday-storytelling contest; $8, $6 member.

Saturday, Dec. 17, at 10 a.m.: A Christmas Story; $8.

NOW SHOWING AT YOUR LIBRARY Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. Troop 1500, a documentary about a Girl Scout troop that unites daughters with mothers who have been convicted of serious crimes, is screened from 6 to 8 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14; free.

SHORT-FILM SHOWCASE Rialto Building. 300 E. Congress St. 622-8595. Short films by local producers, writers, directors and promoters are shown from 6 to 10 p.m., as part of 2nd Saturdays Downtown; free. Email danielgeffre@live.com, or search for Short Film Showcase 2nd Saturdays on Facebook for more information.

ZERO PERCENT Casa Libre en la Solana. 228 N. Fourth Ave. 325-9145.

A documentary about how an education program at Sing Sing prison in New York reduced participating prisoners’ recidivism rate to zero screens at 7 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14; $10 suggested donation. Visit readbetweenthebars.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL FOR FILMMAKERS The Loft Cinema and Susan G. Komen for the Cure seek submissions of 30-second films for a competition with a $500 prize and an opportunity to air on local television. Films must portray one of three messages: early detection is the best protection; know what’s normal for you; 75 percent of what Komen raises stays in Southern Arizona. The deadline for submissions is Tuesday, Jan. 3; submission guidelines are at komensaz.org

UPCOMING STROKE UPDATE Canoa Hills Social Center. 3660 S. Camino del Sol. Green Valley. 625-6200. Health professional Leslie Ritter presents “Stroke Update: The Power of Community,” at 10 a.m., Thursday, Dec. 15; free.

Refreshments are served. The lecture is part of a series presented by the UA Sarver Heart Center. Visit heart. arizona.edu for more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS ALZHEIMER’S SUPPORT GROUPS All meetings are free. Family members and others caring for people with dementia gather for discussion, education and support from 1:30 to 3 p.m., the first and third Tuesday of every month, at the Oro Valley Public Library, 1305 W. Naranja Drive, 229-5300. An Alzheimer’s Association Support Group meets at 4:30 p.m., the second Monday of every month, at Santa Catalina Villas retirement community, 7500 N. Calle Sin Envidia, 730-3132. An Alzheimer’s caregiver support group and concurrent respite activity group meet from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m., the second and fourth Tuesday of every month, at TMC’s El Dorado Campus, 1400 N. Wilmot Road, 324-1960.

HIV TESTING SAAF. 375 S. Euclid Ave. 628-7223. The Centers for Disease Control recommend HIV testing for all people ages 13 through 64. Visit napwa.org for more information on AIDS testing and its benefits. Testing hours at SAAF are 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., every Monday and Wednesday; and 1 to 8 p.m., Tuesday and Thursday.

All testing is confidential; results are available in about 15 minutes; and counseling is available. Call for an appointment and more information.

KIDS & FAMILIES

GARDENING

EVENTS THIS WEEK

TUCSON AFRICAN VIOLET SOCIETY The East Side Night Meeting of the Tucson African Violet Society gathers from 7 to 9 p.m., the first Wednesday of every month, at The Cascades, 201 N. Jessica Ave. The East Side Day Meeting takes place from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m., the second Wednesday of every month, at The Cascades. The Northwest Day Meeting takes place from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m., the second Thursday of every month, at The Inn at the Fountains at La Cholla, 2001 W. Rudasill Road.

ALL TOGETHER THEATRE Live Theatre Workshop. 5317 E. Speedway Blvd. 3274242. A musical adaptation of The Tortoise and the Hare continues at 1 p.m., Sunday, through Jan. 29; $5 to $8. Call for reservations and more information.

HAWK HAPPENING Tohono Chul Park. 7366 N. Paseo del Norte. 7426455. Kathie Schroeder shares secrets in the lives of the Southwest’s Harris hawks, in the children’s ramada, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., the second and fourth Wednesday of every month, through Dec. 28; $7, $5 senior or active military, $3 student with valid ID, $2 ages 5 through 12, free member or child younger than 5; includes admission.

HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA Red Barn Theater. 948 N. Main Ave. 622-6973. A family party with singing, dancing, fiddling, jokes, a singalong, riddles, games and more takes place at 1 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $5.

KIDS CREATE MINIATURES Mini-Time Machine Museum of Miniatures. 4455 E. Camp Lowell Drive. 881-0606. Kids learn about scale and craftsmanship while creating miniatures, from noon to 4 p.m., Saturday; $7, $6 senior and military, $5

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MOCA PLAYTIME: SUN PRINT WORKSHOP MOCA. 265 S. Church Ave. 624-5019. Photographer Timothy Steehler discusses the history of cyanotype and how to make a sun print without film or a camera at 10 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $10, $5 member. All ages are welcome; signed parental consent is required for participants younger than 6.

MURAL WORKSHOPS Howenstine Magnet High School. 555 S. Tucson Blvd. 232-7300. Kids ages 12 through 17 help create public art from 2:45 to 5 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 13; free. Registration is required. Call 791-9359, or visit tucsonartsbrigade.org/murals to register or for more information.

READ TO A DOG Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. 2295300. Trained and certified therapy and service dogs listen intently and non-judgmentally as children practice reading aloud from 2 to 3 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 13; free.

SALPOINTE 2016 ENTRANCE EXAM Salpointe High School. 1545 E. Copper St. 327-6581.

The Salpointe entrance and placement test is given from 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10 and Jan. 14.

Email mgossman@salpointe.org, or visit salpointe.org for more information.

TUCSON’S RIVER OF WORDS 2009 YOUTH POETRY AND ART TRAVELING EXHIBIT Wheeler Taft Abbett Sr. Branch, Pima County Public Library. 7800 N. Schisler Drive. 594-5200. This exhibit of art and writing expressing local children’s understanding of watersheds and the natural world continues through Monday, Jan. 2. Hours are 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday; free. Call 615-7855, or email eeducation@pima.gov for more information.

WII FOR TWEENS Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. 2295300. Tweens have a wide choice of Wii games and sports to play from 3:30 to 5 p.m., the second Friday every month, except holidays; free.

EVENTS THIS WEEK DEMONSTRATION GARDEN TOURS Pima County Cooperative Extension. 4210 N. Campbell Ave. 626-5161. Master Gardeners offer tours of the demonstration gardens from 10 to 11 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; and Wednesday, Dec. 14; free.

library.pima.gov for dates and times. Students may also call the Infoline, 791-4010, or click on “Homework Help” at library.pima.gov/services. A valid library card is required only for online help.

Pretty much… yeah.

UPCOMING

OUTDOORS EVENTS THIS WEEK MOUNT LEMMON SKYCENTER SKYNIGHTS PROGRAM Mount Lemmon SkyCenter. 9800 Ski Run Road. 6268122. A peek through the largest public viewing telescope in the Southwest is just part of a five-hour tour of the universe from 3 to 8 p.m., nightly; $48 Monday through Thursday, $60 Friday through Sunday, $30 student. Reservations are required. Visit skycenter.arizona. edu for reservations. Search Facebook for “Mt. Lemmon SkyCenter” for daily photo updates about current events in the universe.

SONORAN DESERT WEEDWACKERS Tucson Mountain Park. 2020 N. Kinney Road. 8776000. Volunteers age 12 and older help remove buffelgrass and fountain grass from 8 to 11 a.m., every second and fourth Wednesday; and every third Saturday; free. Work may require hiking and working on steep slopes. Meeting locations are in Tucson Mountain Park.

Details are given with RSVP, which is required. Call 615-7855, or email eeducation@pima.gov to RSVP or for more information.

TWILIGHT NATURE WALK Feliz Paseos Park. 1600 W. Camino de Oeste. 8776000. A naturalist guides a leisurely stroll to see how seasonal changes affect local plants and animals, from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9; free. Reservations are required; call 615-7855, or email eeducation@ pima.gov for reservations and more information.

OUT OF TOWN BARRIO DE TUBAC ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE Tubac Presidio State Historic Park. 1 Burruel St. Tubac.

398-2252. A 1 1/4-mile tour of the Spanish colonial archaeological site south of the park takes place at 10:30 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $5. Included are residence foundations, a plaza area, a refuse area and part of an irrigation ditch. Bring walking shoes, sunscreen, a hat and water. Reservations are encouraged.

KWANZAA PROGRAM Mini-Time Machine Museum of Miniatures. 4455 E. Camp Lowell Drive. 881-0606. The Barbea Williams Performing Company presents a Kwanzaa-themed dance performance at 11 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 17; $7, $6 senior and military, $5 child age 4 to 17, free member or child younger than 4, includes admission to the museum.

HONEY BEE CANYON PARK BIRDING WALK Honey Bee Canyon Park. 13880 N. Rancho Vistoso Blvd. Oro Valley. 877-6000. A guided bird walk for ages 12 and older leads to Gambel’s quail, verdins, gnatcatchers and other birds of the Southwest desert, from 8 to 10 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10 and 17; free. Call 6157855, or email eeducation@pima.gov for info.

OUTDOOR FAMILY DAY: NATURAL WREATH-MAKING Brandi Fenton Memorial Park. 3482 E. River Road.

Families with children ages 5 through 12 create holiday wreaths using natural materials from 10 a.m. to noon, Saturday, Dec. 17; free. Instructions and materials are provided. Reservations are required; call 615-7855, or email eeducation@pima.gov for reservations.

WILDLIFE VIEWING IN CIENEGA CREEK NATURAL PRESERVE Cienega Creek Natural Preserve. 16000 E. Marsh Station Road. Vail. Pima County naturalist Wendy Burroughs shares techniques for observing wildlife from 10 to 11:30 a.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14. Reservations are required. Call 615-7855, or email eeducation@ pima.gov for more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

UPCOMING

HOMEWORK HELP Free, one-on-one help with homework is available at nearly all Pima County Public Library branches. Visit

A NIGHT WITH THE STARS Tucson Mountain Park Ironwood Picnic Area. 1548 S. Kinney Road. All ages see stars, planets and other sky

SPIRITUALITY EVENTS THIS WEEK THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE: THE SPOKEN WORD Himmel Branch, Pima County Public Library. 1035 N. Treat Ave. 594-5305. A presentation about the art of spiritual invocation takes place from 6 to 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 8; free. Call 250-3871 for more info.

NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE STUDIES Unity of Tucson. 3617 N. Camino Blanco. 577-3300.

Linda Jacquin, former editor of the IANDS publication Vital Signs, discusses near-death-experience research at 6:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 8; $5 suggested donation. The event is hosted by IANDS, the International Association for Near-Death Studies, and TIES, Tucson IANDS Experience Sharing. Call 545-0499, or email illuminationseeker@yahoo.com for more information.

SOUL COLLAGE: NEW BEGINNINGS Dry River Collective. 740 N. Main Ave. 882-2170.

Guided meditation takes place to visualize a poster that will lead each participant into 2012, from 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14, in Kaitlinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Creative Cottage in the courtyard; $20 includes all supplies.

RSVP by Tuesday, Dec. 13, to 622-6161.

TAROT DOWSING CLASS Spiritâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Child. 3870 W. River Road, Suite 120. 7444402. Katta Mapes leads an experiential workshop about how to use Tarot dowsing skills to answer questions, from 1 to 3 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $26.

WHIRLING MEDITATION Center for Expressive Arts. 3838 E. Fort Lowell Road, Suite 2. 325-7795. Teachers and authors Puran and Susanna Bair teach the Sufi meditation practice of whirling, from 6 to 8 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; freewill donation. Live Turkish music is provided by Seyyah. Call 299-2170, or visit iamheart.org for more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS BHAGAVAD GITA STUDY Govindaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural Foods Buffet and Boutique. 711 E. Blacklidge Drive. 792-0630. Shared reading and indepth study of the ancient Indian text takes place from 6:30 to 8 p.m., every Wednesday; free. Ask the restaurant receptionist to be directed to the room. A free light meal follows. Visit govindasoftucson.com for info.

BUDDHIST MEDITATION AND PHILOSOPHY Tara Mahayana Buddhist Center. 1701 E. Miles St. 296-8626. Buddhist nun Gen Kelsang Lingpur teaches about Buddhist mediation and philosophy at 10 a.m., each Sunday, and repeats at 6:30 p.m., each Wednesday, at A Rich Experience, 7435 N. Oracle Road, No. 101; and 6:30 p.m., each Friday, at Sunrise Chapel, 8421 E. Wrightstown Road. Call or visit meditationintucson.org for more information.

STILLNESS MEDITATION GROUP Kiewit Auditorium, UA Medical Center. 1501 N. Campbell Ave. Stillness meditation for patients, families, staff and the community takes place from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m., every Monday; free. Call 694-4605 or 6944786 for more information.

SUNDAY FEAST AND FESTIVAL Govindaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural Foods Buffet and Boutique. 711 E. Blacklidge Drive. 792-0630. Mantra chanting takes place at 5:30 p.m., every Sunday, followed by a spiritual discourse at 6 p.m., and a ceremony consisting of music, chanting and dancing at 6:30 p.m.; free. An eight-course vegetarian feast is served at 7 p.m.; $3.

Call or visit govindasoftucson.com for more information.

SPORTS

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SINGING BIRD SANGHA Zen Desert Sangha. 3226 N. Martin Ave. 319-6260.

Meditation and teachings in the Buddhist tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh take place at 4:45 p.m., every Sunday; free. Call 299-1903 for more information.

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MINDFULNESS MEDITATION Tucson Buddhist Meditation Center. 1133 S. Swan Road. 745-4624. A Theravada Buddhist monk guides exploration of mindfulness and peacefulness for all levels at 3 p.m., every Sunday. A silent sitting meditation takes place at 6 p.m., every Sunday. Both are free. Visit tucsonbuddhistcenter.org for more information.

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TOHONO CHUL GUIDED BIRD AND NATURE WALKS Tohono Chul Park. 7366 N. Paseo del Norte. 7426455. Birders at any level of expertise tour the nature trails and gardens of 49-acre Tohono Chul Park and learn to identify some of the 27 resident bird species at 8:30 a.m., every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A one-hour walking tour of the nature trails takes place at 9 a.m. and 1 p.m., Monday through Saturday. Walks are free with admission; $7, $5 senior and active military, $3 student with ID, $2 child age 5 to 12, free child younger than 5. Visit tohonochulpark.org for more info.

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MEDITATION AND YOGA BY DONATION Yoga Connection. 3929 E. Pima St. 323-1222. Group meditation takes place from 7 to 8 p.m., every Monday.

Meditation techniques alternate weekly among Mantra, Krya, Yoga Nidra and others. Yoga practice takes place from 2:30 to 3:30 p.m., every Tuesday; 3:30 to 4:30 p.m., every Wednesday; and 8 to 8:30 a.m., every Thursday. Call for more information.

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SABINO CANYON HIKES Sabino Canyon Visitorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Center. 5700 N. Sabino Canyon Road. 749-8700. Hikes led by Sabino Canyon Volunteer Naturalists start at 8:30 a.m., every Friday, through Dec. 30. Hikes range from easy to medium-difficulty and last from two to four hours. Most are free and depart from the visitor center. Some require an $8 tram ride. Visit scvntucson.org for details.

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ANNOUNCEMENTS

LGBT BUDDHIST MEDITATION AND PRACTICE Three Jewels. 314 E. Sixth St. 303-6648. Two 20-minute silent sitting meditations, readings from Buddhist spiritual texts, and discussion take place from 10 to 11:45 a.m., every Sunday. Bring a friend and a pillow or cushion; free-will donation, and no one will be turned away. Call 287-3127 for more information.

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HISTORICAL TOUR OF AGUA CALIENTE PARK Agua Caliente Regional Park. 12325 E. Roger Road.

877-6000. All ages enjoy a guided tour of the parkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s historic structures and learn about its farming and ranching history, from 11 a.m. to noon, Sunday, Dec. 18; free. Reservations are required. Call 615-7855, or email eeducation@pima.gov for reservations or more information.

DESERT RAIN ZEN MEDITATION Little Chapel of All Nations. 1052 N. Highland Ave. 623-1692. Weekly sits aim to bring traditional forms inherited from China and Japan into touch with the contemporary world from 4:30 to 6 p.m., every Saturday; free. Everyone is welcome; those who havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sat with the group before are asked to arrive by 4:15 p.m. Visit desertrainzen.org for more information.

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features with the help of volunteers from the Tucson Amateur Astronomy Association and their telescopes, from 6 to 8 p.m., Friday, Dec. 16; free. Reservations are required; call 615-7855, or email eeducation@pima.gov for reservations or more information.

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EVENTS THIS WEEK INAUGURAL TUCSON MARATHON FITNESS FEST AND TUCSON MARATHON UA Mall. 1303 E. University Drive. All ages participate in 10k, 10k Relay, 5k and 1-mile events at 7:30 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $15 to $45. Half-marathon, marathon and marathon relay races begin at 7 a.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $80 to $195. Visit tucsonmarathon.com to register or for more information.

SOUTHWESTERN INTERNATIONAL RACEWAY Southwestern International Raceway. 11300 S. Houghton Road. 762-9700. Gates open at 9 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, for Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Annual Benefit Race and the IHRA Ironman Classic; $5, free age 10 and younger.

Visit sirace.com for entry fees and other information.

UA HOCKEY Tucson Convention Center. 260 S. Church Ave. 7914101. Games are at 7:30 p.m.; $7 to $14. Friday and Saturday, Dec. 9 and 10: Arizona State University. Visit arizonawildcathockey.org for more information.

UA MENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BASKETBALL UA McKale Memorial Center. 1721 E. Enke Drive.

Tickets are $19 to $120; visit arizonawildcats.com for tickets or more information. Saturday, Dec. 10, at 2 p.m.: Clemson. Saturday, Dec. 17, at 1 p.m.: Gonzaga.

Tuesday, Dec. 20, at 6 p.m.: Oakland.

UA WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BASKETBALL UA McKale Memorial Center. 1721 E. Enke Drive.

Tickets are $5 to $10; visit arizonawildcats.com for tickets and more information. Sunday, Dec. 11, at 1 p.m.: Long Beach State. Wednesday, Dec. 21, at 5 p.m.: New Mexico.

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TuCsONWEEKLY

23

PERFORMING ARTS ATC’s ‘Daddy Long Legs’ skips thoughtprovoking drama in favor of sweet, charming romance

Elegant Simplicity f you’re a fan of simple, sweet love stories told in song, performed by practiced professional actors in the beautifully wrought setting of a well-directed production, then read no further: Call Arizona Theatre Company’s box office, and buy your tickets to Daddy Long Legs, an adaptation of Jean Webster’s book about an orphan and her mysterious benefactor.

If, however, you’re not too keen on musicals, or find sweet love stories—even clever and well-performed ones—rather vapid and cloying, read on.

What ATC has obviously intended as a cheerful seasonal offering, Daddy Long Legs is hard not to like, even if you’re not a fan of musicals. (Yes, there are such people.) But this is a rather unusual musical: There is no soaring chorus, nor are there fancy-footed dancers.

There are no glitzy costumes or technically impressive sets to dazzle and delight. Rather, it is impressively simple. There are two characters, who, although they share the stage, never (knowingly) share the same space. It’s a clever convention that works well. The story is mostly told in song, and because the actors are both onstage, they are actually able to sing duets.

And the ending is, well, appropriate for the season, let’s just say.

Webster’s novel was published in 1912 and has been treasured by young girls for decades.

The story has been adapted numerous times, including a theatrical adaption by Webster and several movies. The story takes place early in the 20th century and spans a little more than four years. Jerusha (Megan McGinnis) is a smart but underprivileged young woman, a good-natured—and seemingly gifted—denizen of the John Grier Home for orphans. A trustee of the orphanage has taken note of Jerusha as

I

24 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

someone who, with a good education, might have quite a bit to offer the world. So, anonymously, he offers to pay her way through college. There are conditions, of course: She must write him at least once a month, and there should never be any mention of gratitude. He, in turn, will not correspond with her.

Jerusha, of course, is delighted. Not only has she has yearned to further her education; she wants to be a writer, and her mandated monthly correspondence will help develop her talents. It takes her a while to adjust to her new collegiate world, which involves an academic load she is little prepared to shoulder, as well as an introduction to privileged girls who far outclass her. She pours her feelings out on the pages of her letters, sweetly granting her benefactor the nickname “Daddy Long Legs,” because she thought she caught a glimpse of his shadow at the orphanage, which suggested he might be, well, spidery-long in the legs. Her letters reflect her curiosity about his age, which she imagines to be in the vicinity of ancient— but we, of course, can see he is most definitely not. He is a youngish, good-looking bachelor, although he’s perhaps a bit on the stern side.

As might be expected, this one-sided outpouring of thoughts and feelings intrigues “Daddy” (Robert Adelman Hancock), and an odd attraction to the object of his charity begins to develop. As Jerusha grows as a student and develops into a savvy young woman, he manipulates her goings and comings to draw her tighter to his world—he does, after all, have the power of the purse strings— although he remains unwilling to confess his feelings and reveal his identity until, well, it is dramatically appropriate.

That’s all, really. It’s a simple story well-told, a romance that feeds young girls’ fantasies of

salvation-by-knight-in-shining-armor. It has no pretensions to be anything else—there’s no social commentary or morality-preaching— although Webster was quite politically progressive. It simply is what it is.

If you can embrace that, you’ll enjoy the show. If you require thought-generating, driving drama, this is not for you.

Naturally, if you’ve got only two characters to work with, the actors who portray them need to be skilled, charismatic and able to generate enough chemistry to connect their characters across the miles that separate them, especially since they never speak directly.

McGinnis and Hancock do an admirable job.

McGinnis creates a Jerusha so open, clever, spunky and sweet that it’s hard not to give her your heart. She originated the role when the show premiered at the Rubicon Theatre in Ventura, Calif. Her voice is perfect for this role, and she delivers Paul Gordon’s songs, in which Jerusha teases, frets, fears and dreams, with expert vocal skill and emotional heart. Hers is a lovely, lively performance.

Hancock’s Daddy Long Legs, aka Jervis Pendleton, also gives us an intriguing character, likable if a bit uptight. As Jerusha flourishes— growing into an educated young woman, one who knows her mind and holds to her dreams—Hancock’s Daddy also goes through a transformation. He gradually emerges from hiding in the safety of his library and opens his heart to the woman he has learned to love through the pages and pages on which she has shared herself. (Hancock also originated this role at the Rubicon, and the actors have together delivered the show at numerous theaters.)

His voice is much-less perfect than McGinnis’, but is more than adequate. Their voices harmonize and blend beautifully in their duets.

TIM FULLER

BY SHERILYN FORRESTER, sforrester@tucsonweekly.com

Robert Adelman Hancock and Megan McGinnis in Arizona Theatre Company’s Daddy Long Legs.

Daddy Long Legs Presented by Arizona Theatre Company 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 8, and Friday, Dec. 9; 4 and 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; 2 and 7:30 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14, and Thursday, Dec. 15; 7:30 p.m., Friday, Dec. 16; 2 and 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17; 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 18; 7:30 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 21 Temple of Music and Art 330 S. Scott Ave. $36 to $60 Runs two hours and 15 minutes, with one intermission 622-2823; www.aztheatreco.org

Internationally renowned John Caird has directed this production, which is a joint effort

by ATC and several other theaters. He also wrote the book for the musical. Julie McBride leads a small but polished orchestra, and the design elements are balanced and serve the show perfectly.

So there it is: a sweet and charming story.

Actually, the elegant simplicity of Daddy Long Legs might redeem the show for musicaltheater skeptics. And who knows? Although it is an unabashed romance, it might be just smart enough—and the performances good enough—to wheedle its way into the hearts of the most-cynical Grinches.

DANCE

7:30 p.m., Christmas with Aaron Neville; $25 to $65.

Tuesday, Dec. 20, at 8 p.m.: Nashama Carleback and Gospel Choir; $25 to $45.

EVENTS THIS WEEK

GEORGE HARRISON MEMORIAL FESTIVAL Govinda’s Natural Foods Buffet and Boutique. 711 E. Blacklidge Drive. 792-0630. Desmond Jones and Ben McCartney perform a musical tribute, and Guru Das talks about living with The Beatles in the ’70s, from 5 to 7 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $5. Visit govindasoftucson.com.

PCC DANCE PCC Proscenium Theatre. Pima Community College West Campus, 2202 W. Anklam Road. 206-6986. Pima Community College presents Dance Fusion at 7:30 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9; and 2 and 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; $10. Call or visit pima.edu/cfa for tickets or more information.

TUCSON REGIONAL BALLET TCC Music Hall. 260 S. Church Ave. 791-4101.

Accompanied by the Tucson Symphony Orchestra, and featuring guest dancers formerly with the Joffrey Ballet, A Southwest Nutcracker translates the traditional favorite to Tucson in the 1880s, at 2 and 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; and 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec 11; $23 to $38. Call or visit ticketmaster.com for tickets.

ZUZI DANCE COMPANY ZUZI’s Theater. 738 N. Fifth Ave. 629-0237. Solstice Performance: Sombra y Luz features modern and aerial dance in a multi-generational performance including faculty and students of the company’s school. A silent auction and an exhibit and sale of art featuring themes of shadow and light benefit the school. A matinee takes place at 11 a.m., Friday, Dec. 9; $7. Evening performances are at 7:30 p.m., Friday, Dec. 16 through Sunday, Dec. 18; $18; and Wednesday, Dec. 21; $20, $15 student and senior. Visit zuzimoveit.org for more information.

UPCOMING EL CASCANUECES (THE NUTCRACKER) Fox Tucson Theatre. 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515.

Dancing in the Streets AZ performs El Cascanueces at 3 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 18; $13 to $50 VIP. A musical petting zoo, a silent auction and a photo-op with the Sugar Plum Fairy take place in the lobby. VIP admission includes a 2 p.m. event featuring a light lunch and a pre-performance concert by classical guitarist Gabriel Ayala. Visit El Cascanueces (The Nutcracker Ballet) on Facebook for more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS FREE TANGO LESSONS AND DANCE Casa Vicente Restaurante Español. 375 S. Stone Ave. 884-5253. A free class for beginners (no partner necessary) takes place from 7 to 8 p.m., each Wednesday; and tango-dancing continues from 8 to 10 p.m.; free.

Call 245-6158 for information.

T-SQUARES DANCE CLUB Cornerstone Fellowship Social Hall. 2909 N. Geronimo Ave. 622-4626. A modern square-dance club for lesbians, gays and allies meets from 6 to 8:30 p.m., every Tuesday; free. All dancers are welcome. Call 886-0716, or visit azgaydance.org for more information.

MUSIC EVENTS THIS WEEK ARIZONA REPERTORY SINGERS Tickets are $15. Friday, Dec. 9, at 7:30 p.m.; and Sunday, Dec. 11, at 3 p.m.: Benedictine Monastery, 800 N. Country Club Road. Friday, Dec. 16, at 7:30 p.m.: Desert View Performing Arts Center, 39900 S. Clubhouse Drive, SaddleBrooke. Sunday, Dec. 18, at 3 p.m.: Fountain of Life Lutheran Church, 710 S. Kolb Road. Visit arsingers.org for more information.

AWENRISING Christ Presbyterian Church. 6565 E. Broadway Blvd.

886-5535. An acoustic, a capella chamber ensemble presents a holiday concert at 7:30 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $10 to $12. Call 344-2936 for more information.

BRAD RICHTER CD-RELEASE CONCERT Holsclaw Hall. UA School of Music, 1017 N. Olive Road. 621-1162. Classical and percussive fingerstyle guitarist Brad Richter performs music from his new release, American Landscapes for Guitar, at 2:30 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $20. Visit tucsonguitarsociety.org for tickets or more information.

FOX TUCSON THEATRE CONCERTS Fox Tucson Theatre. 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515.

Visit foxtucsontheatre.org for tickets and a complete schedule of upcoming events. Saturday, Dec. 10, at 7 p.m.: the legendary L.A. punk rock band X; $22 to $38.

Sunday, Dec. 11, at 4 p.m.: Showbiz Kids Danz Holiday Show, featuring dancers and dance teams from several local studios and schools; $10. Friday, Dec. 16, at

SONORAN BELLS Concerts are given for freewill donations: Tuesday, Dec. 13, at 7 p.m., St. Alban’s Episcopal Church, 3738 Old Sabino Canyon Road. Visit sonoranbells.org for more information.

SONS OF ORPHEUS Sunday, Dec. 11, at 3 p.m.: a holiday concert with the Tucson Arizona Boys Chorus; DesertView Performing Arts Center, 39900 S. Clubhouse Drive, SaddleBrooke; $40.

Tuesday through Thursday, Dec. 13 through 15, at 6 and 8 p.m.: holiday concerts benefit San Xavier Mission reconstruction; 1950 W. San Xavier Road; $90. Sunday, Dec. 18, at 3 p.m.: holiday concert; Madera Clubhouse, Quail Creek Country Club, 2055 E. Quail Crossing Blvd., Green Valley; $20. Visit sonsoforpheus.org for more info.

SOUTHERN ARIZONA WOMEN’S CHORUS A Holiday Twist includes songs from a range of religious traditions at 7 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9, at Ascension Lutheran Church, 1220 W. Magee Road; and at 3 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11, at Crowder Hall, 1020 E. University Blvd.; $20, $18 advance, free age 10 and younger. Visit southernarizonawomenschorus.org, or call 404-3148 for more information.

ST. PHILIP’S FRIENDS OF MUSIC St. Philip’s in the Hills Episcopal Church. 4440 N. Campbell Ave. 299-6421. A medley of seasonal music arranged and conducted by Jeff Haskell concludes A Trumpet Spectacular, featuring Jason Carder and the UA Trumpet Ensemble led by Edward Reid, at 7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 8; $15 suggested donation.

TUCSON BARBERSHOP EXPERIENCE Tucson Scottish Rite Cathedral. 160 S. Scott Ave. 6228364. A barbershop chorus and quartets perform holiday music at 3 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $9, free younger than 12.

TUCSON COMMUNITY MUSIC SCHOOL Berger Performing Arts Center. 1200 W. Speedway Blvd.

770-3762. A concert features the Ellington Big Band, showcasing new transcriptions of Dizzy Gillespie compositions and new, big-band arrangements of Radiohead songs, as well as several other bands from the school performing works by Count Basie, Buddy Rich, Artie Shaw and others, at 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $20, $15 student or senior, $10 younger than 10.

TUCSON SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA Saturday, Dec. 10, at 8 p.m.; and Sunday, Dec. 11, at 2 p.m.: “Handel’s Messiah! Concert Special”; Catalina Foothills High School, 4300 E. Sunrise Drive; $40 to $50. Saturday, Dec. 17, at 7:30 p.m.; and Sunday, Dec. 18, at 2 p.m.: “Holiday Spectacular,” with Tucson Regional Ballet, Mariachi Aztlan de Pueblo High School and Santa Claus; Tucson Music Hall, 260 S. Church Ave.; $25 to $52. Saturday, Dec. 31, at 6:30 p.m.: “New Year’s Eve: Moveable Musical Feast”; Arizona Inn, 2200 E. Elm St.; $199. Visit tucsonsymphony.org, or call 882-8585 for tickets or more information.

UA HARPFUSION Sanctuary United Methodist Church. 7620-B N. Hartman Lane, No. 146. 207-6453. UA harp students perform their own arrangements and original works at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; free. The group is named for the fusion of styles it performs, and the cultures represented by its members.

OUT OF TOWN ARIZONA FOLKLORE PRESERVE Arizona Folklore Preserve. 44 Ramsey Canyon Road.

Hereford. 378-6165. Performers of traditional music are featured at 2 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; $15, $6 younger than 17. Dec. 10 and 11: Sweethearts in Carhartts, featuring Jean Prescott, Yvonne Hollenbeck and Liz Masterson. Dec. 17 and 18: Arvel Bird, violinist and Native American flutist. Dec. 24 and 25: Closed.

Monday, Dec. 26: Dolan Ellis. Visit arizonafolklore.com for information about the folklore preserve and a schedule of upcoming performances.

DESERT VIEW PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Desert View Performing Arts Center. 39900 S. Clubhouse Drive. SaddleBrooke. 825-5318. Thursday, Dec. 8, at 7:30 p.m.: Robert Shaw and the Lonely Street Band perform a holiday salute to the music of Elvis Presley; $30, $25 advance, $22 Lonely Street Series ticketholders. Saturday, Dec. 10, at 7 p.m.: Barbershop Chorus Holiday Harmony Happening; $23.

Sunday, Dec. 11, at 3 p.m.: the Sons of Orpheus and the Tucson Arizona Boys Chorus; $40. Wednesday, Dec. 14, at 7:30 p.m.: Kenny Hess Country Christmas; $24. Thursday, Dec. 15, at 4:30 p.m.: Mike’s Holiday Mixer; $25 includes dinner and entertainment. Friday, Dec. 16, at 7:30 p.m.: Arizona Repertory Singers; $20.

Visit tickets.saddlebrooketwo.com for tickets and more information.

TUCSON BOYS CHOIR Tubac Golf Resort and Spa. 1 Otero Road. Tubac. 3982211. The Tucson Boys Choir performs at a buffet dinner and tree-lighting event from 6 to 9 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9; $75. Call for reservations by Thursday, Dec. 8.

UPCOMING CHRISTMAS CONCERT WITH DOLAN ELLIS Tubac Presidio State Historic Park. 1 Burruel St. Tubac.

398-2252. Arizona’s Official Balladeer Dolan Ellis presents “An Arizona Christmas” in the 1885 territorial school house at 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17; $20, free age 14 and younger. Call for reservations.

ANNOUNCEMENTS TUCSON WOMEN’S CHORUS Enrollment for new members is ongoing; no auditions, sight-reading or experience are required; $80 adults, free for girls with a singing adult, free for first-time guests, scholarships available. Rehearsals are at 7 p.m., every Monday, at St. Mark’s Presbyterian Church, 3809 E. Third St.; and at 7 p.m., every Thursday, at Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Northwest Tucson, 3601 W. Cromwell Drive. Call 743-0991, or visit tucsonwomenschorus.org for more information.

THEATER OPENING THIS WEEK ARIZONA ROSE THEATRE COMPANY Temple of Music and Art Cabaret Theater. 330 S. Scott Ave. 884-4875. The Magic of Christmas, an original holiday musical, is staged at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10 and 17; 7 p.m., Friday, Dec. 16; and 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11 and 18; $10, $8 senior or military, $6 age 12 and younger. A photo op with Santa follows the play.

Visit arizonarosetheatre.com, or call 888-0509 for tickets or more information.

BEOWULF THEATRE COMPANY Beowulf Alley Theatre Company. 11 S. Sixth Ave. 8820555. A Cactus Christmas by John Vornholt opens with a preview Thursday, Dec., 8 and continues through Friday, Dec. 23. Performances are at 7:30 p.m., Thursday through Saturday; and 2:30 p.m., Sunday; $19, $17 senior or student, $8 child 12 or younger; $15, $12 senior or student, $8 child 12 or younger, preview. Call or visit beowulfalley.org for reservations or more information.

CONTINUING ARIZONA THEATRE COMPANY Temple of Music and Art. 330 S. Scott Ave. 884-4875.

John Caird’s lighthearted romantic musical Daddy Long Legs continues through Wednesday, Dec. 21.

Performance times vary; $31 to $60. Call or visit arizonatheatre.org for more information.

THE COMEDY PLAYHOUSE Comedy Playhouse and School. 3620 N. First Ave. 2606442. A Christmas Carol continues through Friday, Dec. 30; $18, $16 senior or student. Performances are 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday, through Saturday, Dec. 17; 3 p.m., Dec. 11 and 18; and Monday through Friday, Dec. 19 through 23; and Dec. 26 through 30. Call or email bruceb1786@aol.com for reservations.

THE GASLIGHT THEATRE The Gaslight Theatre. 7010 E. Broadway Blvd. 8869428. Christmas in the Big Apple continues through Sunday, Jan. 1. The noon performance on Sunday, Dec. 11, benefits Salpointe Catholic High School. Showtimes are at 3, 6 and 8:30 p.m., Monday through Friday; noon, 3, 6 and 8:30 p.m., Saturday; noon, 3 and 7 p.m., Sunday; closed Sunday, Dec. 25; 3, 6 and 9:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 31; and 12:30 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 1; $17.95 adult, $7.95 age 12 and younger, $15.95 student, military and senior. Show times may vary. Call or visit thegaslighttheatre.com for reservations.

LIVE THEATRE WORKSHOP Live Theatre Workshop. 5317 E. Speedway Blvd. 3274242. Reckless, by Craig Lucas, continues through Saturday, Dec. 31. Show times are 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday; and 3 p.m., Sunday; $18, $16 student,

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senior and military. Call or visit livetheatreworkshop.org for information.

NOT BURNT OUT JUST UNSCREWED A comedy troupe performs family-friendly improv for freewill donations at 7:30 p.m., the first Friday of every month, at Revolutionary Grounds Coffee House, 616 N. Fourth Ave.; and the third Friday of every month, at Rock N Java, 7555 Twin Peaks Road, Marana. Call 8612986, or visit unscrewedcomedy.com for info.

PINNACLE PEAK PISTOLEROS WILD WEST STUNT SHOW Trail Dust Town. 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road. 296-4551.

The Pistoleros present Santa’s Little Outlaws every night through Sunday, Jan. 1. Showtimes are 7 and 8 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 6, 7 and 8 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; $3, $1 child younger than 11.

SUBMISSIONS SOUGHT FOR PLAYWRITING AWARD Arizona Theatre Company. 40 E. 14th St. ATC seeks submissions for its 16th Annual National Latino Playwriting Award. The competition is open to all Latin playwrights in the U.S. Scripts must be postmarked by Saturday, Dec. 31. The winner receives a $1,000 prize.

Email jbazzell@arizonatheatre.org, or call 884-8210, ext. 8510, for details about eligibility and submissions.

OUT OF TOWN CENTRAL SCHOOL PROJECT Central School Project. 43 Howell Ave. Bisbee. (520) 255-3008. Art, a comedy exploring questions of art and friendship, continues through Saturday, Dec. 17; $9, $7 advance. Performances are at 7 p.m., Friday and Saturday; and 3 p.m., Sunday. Call (520) 432-5546, or email lastminutebisbee@gmail.com for reservations.

UPCOMING BEOWULF ALLEY’S OLD TIME RADIO THEATRE Beowulf Alley Theatre Company. 11 S. Sixth Ave. 8820555. A reading of radio scripts from the ’30s,’40s and ’50s, takes place at 7 p.m., the first and third Tuesday every month; $10, $5 ages 4 through 12. Dec. 20: Orson Welles’ A Christmas Carol. Call or visit beowulfalley.org for more information.

BORDERLANDS THEATER Leo Rich Theater. 260 S. Church Ave. 791-4101.

Christmas carols in Spanish and English accompany an original adaptation of the nativity story with today’s news providing dramatic leitmotifs in A Tucson Pastorela, at 7:30 p.m., Thursday through Saturday, Dec. 15 through 17; and 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 18; $6 to $22. Desserts and a meet-and-greet are featured Friday, Dec. 16. The Sunday matinee includes a folklorico performance. Call 882-7406, or visit borderlandstheater.org for tickets and more information.

INVISIBLE THEATRE Invisible Theatre. 1400 N. First Ave. 882-9721. My Mother’s Italian, My Father’s Jewish and I’m Home for the Holidays is performed Monday and Tuesday, Dec. 19 and 20; $42. If available, rush tickets are half-price a half-hour before curtain. Call or visit invisibletheatre. com for tickets and more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL FOR PERFORMERS Theater, dance, performance art, clowning, sketch comedy and all other performance presentations are sought for the Tucson Fringe Theater Festival in February.

Deadline for submissions is Sunday, Jan. 15. Visit tucsonfringe.org, or email tucsonfringe@gmail.com for more information.

MAGICAL MYSTERY DINNER THEATER El Parador. 2744 E. Broadway Blvd. 881-2744. Murder at the Vampire’s Wedding, a new, 2 1/2-hour, interactive comedy whodunit that includes a three-course dinner, takes place most Fridays and Saturdays; $39. Doors open at 7 p.m. Call for reservations or more information.

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26 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

ART City Week Guidelines. Send information for City Week to Listings Editor, Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726, e-mail our account at listings@tucsonweekly.com or submit a listing online at tucsonweekly.com. The deadline is Monday at noon, 11 days before the Thursday publication date.

Please include a short description of your event; the date, time and address where it is taking place; information about fees; and a phone number where we can reach you for more information. Because of space limitations, we can’t use all items. Event information is accurate as of press time. The Weekly recommends calling event organizers to check for last-minute changes in location, time, price, etc.

OPENING THIS WEEK AGUA CALIENTE RANCH HOUSE GALLERY Agua Caliente Park Ranch House Gallery. 12325 E. Roger Road. 749-3718. Feathers, Fur, Lizards and Landscapes, an exhibit of paintings and photographs

by Leslie Sinclair and Axel Elfner, opens Friday, Dec. 9, and continues through Wednesday, Jan. 4. Hours are 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Wednesday through Sunday; free.

Call 615-7855, or email eeducation@pima.gov for more information.

ART CLAYWORKS CERAMIC SALE Ceramics Lab and Studio. Esquire Apartments Building, 1230 N. Park Ave., Suite 113 and 114. 621-2211.

The Arizona Student Union Association’s Art ClayWorks Club sells one-of-a-kind cups, bowls, vases and gifts, from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9; free admission.

Kaffeeklatsch Through Time: A Functional and Edible Art Project, by Sabine Koehler, involves buying a platter and getting cookies for free. An artists’ reception with free food and beverages takes place from 6 to 7 p.m.

Zone 1 parking is free after 5 p.m. Call 440-7260, or visit artclayworks.com for more information.

PHILABAUM GLASS STUDIO AND GALLERY Philabaum Glass Studio and Gallery. 711 S. Sixth Ave. 884-7404. Studio Hotshots opens with a reception from 5 to 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, and continues through Saturday, Jan. 28. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free.

SMALL WORKS, SMALL PRICES Flux Gallery. 2960 N. Swan Road, Suite 136. 3701610. Small works by seven local artists are for sale from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Friday and Saturday, Dec. 9 and 10; free admission.

UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH Unitarian Universalist Church. 4831 E. 22nd St. 7481551. An exhibit of work by the 40-member Pima Painting Club opens Sunday, Dec. 11, and continues through Sunday, Jan. 1. Hours are 11:45 a.m. to 1 p.m., Sunday; and 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; free.

CONTINUING ARIZONA-SONORA DESERT MUSEUM Ironwood Gallery. Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum. 2021 N. Kinney Road. 883-2702. Fiesta Sonora, an exhibit of paintings on desert themes by members of the Southern Arizona Watercolor Guild, continues through Sunday, Jan. 8; free with admission. Hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., daily; $14.50, $4.50 age 6 through 12, free 5 and younger.

ART GALLERY Art Gallery. 1122 N. Stone Ave. 624-7099, 405-5800.

The Secret Santa Show, an exhibit and sale of works by 20 artists, continues through Friday, Dec. 30. Hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Thursday through Saturday, and by appointment; free.

ARTS MARKETPLACE Arts Marketplace. 403 N. Sixth Ave. 271-3155. An exhibit of paintings, jewelry, small encaustic sculptures and found objects continues through Friday, Dec. 30.

Hours are noon to 6 p.m., Thursday through Saturday, or by appointment; free. A free artists’ reception takes place from 6:30 to 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10. A free altered-book workshop, featuring ways to recycle a book into a work of art, takes place from 1 to 4 p.m., every Sunday. Visit artsmarketplace.org for more information.

ATLAS FINE ART SERVICES Atlas Fine Art Services. 41 S. Sixth Ave. 622-2139.

Small Works, a group exhibition in all media, continues through Saturday, Dec. 31. Hours are 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesday through Thursday; and 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Friday and Saturday; free.

BOHEMIA Bohemia. 2920 E. Broadway Blvd. 882-0800. The Key to Eden, an exhibit of new paintings and prints by Wil Taylor, continues through Saturday, Dec. 31. Hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sunday and Monday; and 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free. Visit bohemiatucson.com for more informtation.

CONRAD WILDE GALLERY Conrad Wilde Gallery. 439 N. Sixth Ave., Suite 171.

622-8997. High Contrast, a multimedia exhibition in black and white, continues through Saturday, Dec. 31.

Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free. Visit conradwildegallery.com for more information.

CONTRERAS GALLERY Contreras Gallery. 110 E. Sixth St. 398-6557. Martin Quintanilla’s Tucson, an exhibit of new acrylic works; and an exhibit of paintings, drawings, prints and handmade silver jewelry by Neda, E. Michael and E.M. Contreras, continue through Saturday, Dec. 24. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday; free.

CRIZMAC CRIZMAC Art and Cultural Marketplace. 1642 N. Alvernon Way. 323-8555. A holiday show and sale, featuring folk art, toys, books, clothing, masks and jewelry created by local and international artists, continues through Saturday, Dec. 31. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday; free. Call or visit crizmac.com for more information.

DAVIS DOMINGUEZ GALLERY Davis Dominguez Gallery. 154 E. Sixth St. 629-9759.

An exhibit of expressionist works by Jan Olsson and clay sculpture by Joy Fox continues through Saturday, Dec. 17. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday; free. Call or visit davisdominguez.com for more information.

DEGRAZIA GALLERY IN THE SUN DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun. 6300 N. Swan Road.

299-9191. Musical Compositions of Ted DeGrazia, an exhibition of paintings, drawings and musical scores Ted DeGrazia composed for his 1930s big-band orchestra, is on display through Monday, Jan. 16. Ted DeGrazia Depicts the Life of Padre Eusebio Francisco Kino: 20 Oil Paintings is on permanent display. Hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., daily; free. Call or visit degrazia.org for more information.

DEGRAZIA GALLERY IN THE SUN LITTLE GALLERY DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun Little Gallery. 6300 N. Swan Road. 299-9191. Geri Bringman’s Barriga Llena, Corazon Contento (Fat Belly, Happy Heart), paintings representing how the artist perceives Mexican women’s daily activities, continues through Friday, Dec. 16.

Hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., daily; free. Visit degrazia. org for more information.

DIOVANTI DESIGNS GALLERY Diovanti Designs Gallery. 174 E. Toole Ave. 305-7957.

Raíces Profundas/The Depth of Our Roots, a collection of work by Yovannah Diovanti, is displayed for sale through Saturday, Feb. 25. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; free.

ETHERTON GALLERY Etherton Gallery. 135 S. Sixth Ave. 624-7370. Kate Breakey: Slowlight continues through Saturday, Jan. 21.

Gallery hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday, and by appointment; free. Visit ethertongallery. com for more information.

FLUXX GALLERY Fluxx Studio and Gallery. 414 E. Ninth St. 882-0242.

Artists’ interpretations of the term “Manhood” are exhibited through Saturday, Dec. 17. Hours are by appointment; free. Visit fluxxstudioandgallery.com for more information.

JOEL D. VALDEZ MAIN LIBRARY Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. An exhibit of photography by architect Alfonso Elia continues through Saturday, Dec. 31. Library hours are 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Wednesday; 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Thursday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday; free.

Call 791-4010, or email askalibrarian@pima.gov for more information.

KIRK-BEAR CANYON LIBRARY Kirk-Bear Canyon Library. 8959 E. Tanque Verde Road.

792-5021. Elements in Art, abstract mixed-media work

by Mary Kunkel, is exhibited through Saturday, Dec. 31. An artist’s reception takes place from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 8. Hours are 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday; free.

LOUIS CARLOS BERNAL GALLERY Louis Carlos Bernal Gallery. PCC West Campus, 2202 W. Anklam Road. 206-6942. Limited Edition: Prints

From Artist-Collectors continues through Friday, Dec. 16. Hours are 10:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Monday and Wednesday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday and Thursday; 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Friday; and a half-hour before performances at the PCC Performing Arts Center; free. Call or visit pima.edu/cfa for more information.

MARK SUBLETTE MEDICINE MAN GALLERY Mark Sublette Medicine Man Gallery. 7000 E. Tanque Verde Road. 722-7798. An exhibit of paintings by Logan Maxwell Hagege and Dominik Modlinski, featuring the Two Grey Hills trading post and weavers, continues through Thursday, Jan. 5. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Saturday; and 1 to 4 p.m., Sunday; free. Visit medicinemangallery.com for more information.

MILES CONRAD ENCAUSTICS Miles Conrad Encaustics. 439 N. Sixth Ave., No. 195.

490-8027. Willow Bader: Bodies in Motion continues through Friday, Dec. 23. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free. Visit conradwildegallery. com for more information about the artist.

NORTHWESTERN MUTUAL FINANCIAL NETWORK Northwestern Mutual Financial Network. 1760 E. River Road, No. 247. 325-4575. Expressions From Two Perspectives, an exhibit of mixed-media work by Sandy Brittain and Marti White, continues through Thursday, Jan. 5. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; free.

OBSIDIAN GALLERY Obsidian Gallery. 410 N. Toole Ave. 577-3598. Figures and Frames continues through Saturday, Jan. 14. Hours are 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Saturday; and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sunday; free.

PATCHOULI BLUE Patchouli Blue. 186 N. Meyer Ave. 981-7180. An exhibit of paintings by Juan Carlos Breceda, Patty McNulty and Arienne Ellis continues through Saturday, Dec. 31. Hours are 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Sunday and Monday; and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free. Call or visit patchouliblue.com for more information.

PORTER HALL GALLERY Tucson Botanical Gardens. 2150 N. Alvernon Way. 3269686, ext. 10. Leading Inward, an exhibit of paintings for sale by Mary Rosas, continues through Tuesday, Jan. 17 in the Porter Hall Gallery; free with admission.

An artist’s reception takes place from 5 to 7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 8; free. She demonstrates her painting from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 15; free with admission. Regular hours are 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., daily; $8, $4 child age 4 to 12; free younger child or member. Call or visit tucsonbotanical.org for more info.

SOUTHERN ARIZONA ARTS GUILD Sheraton Hotel and Suites. 5151 E. Grant Road. 3236262. An art show juried by SAAG members continues through Monday, April 30. The exhibit is always open; free. Visit southernazartsguild.org for more information.

SOUTHERN ARIZONA WATERCOLOR GUILD Southern Arizona Watercolor Guild Gallery. 5605 E. River Road, Suite 131. Members of the Southern Arizona Watercolor Guild sell their paintings, many priced at less than $100, through Saturday, Dec. 31.

Gallery hours are 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., Tuesday through Sunday. Visit watercolor-sawg.org for more information.

STONE DRAGON STUDIO Stone Dragon Studio. 1122 N. Stone Ave. 405-5800.

Moira Geoffrion’s exhibit Avian Personae continues through Saturday, Jan. 7. An artist’s reception takes place from 4 to 7 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9. Hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Thursday, Friday and Saturday; and by appointment; free. Call for an appointment or more information.

A TASTE OF THINGS TO COME The Quantum Art Gallery. 505 W. Miracle Mile, No. 2.

907-7644. An exhibit of work by Matthias and Emily Stern Duwel, Micheline Johnoff and Citizen Zane continues through Wednesday, Feb. 29, except Sunday, Dec. 25 and Jan. 1. Hours are 2:30 p.m. to 8 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., Saturday; and 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., Sunday; free.

TEMPLE GALLERY Temple Gallery. Temple of Music and Art. 330 S. Scott Ave. 624-7370. Ken Figueredo (1942-2010): Altered States, an exhibit of inkjet prints made from 19thcentury engravings and inspired by televised images of redacted secret government documents, continues through Tuesday, Jan. 3. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday, and before Arizona Theatre Company performances on Saturday and Sunday. Call 622-2823, or e-mail info@ethertongallery.com for more information.

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VISUAL ARTS Downtown’s galleries are packed with great seasonal works

Take an Art Stroll

BY MARGARET REGAN, mregan@tucsonweekly.com he Old Pueblo’s vida loca is celebrated—and satirized—in Martin Quintanilla’s raucous new exhibition at Contreras Gallery.

The poor Convento, the landmark Spanish adobe that Tucson allowed to crumble to dust, bravely raises its arches in the comical wall-size painting “Tratado de Guadalupe Hidalgo.”

Present-day landmarks also get their due in Quintanilla’s wicked acrylics, from the old neon-lit motels on Drachman Street to the Rialto Theatre and Hotel Congress downtown.

In “Pecado Original (Original Sin),” the Rialto’s vertical sign and booze bottles from Congress hover around a painted saguaro. A red devil tends the giant cactus with a pitchfork; below, hell fires burn, and a demon mask grins.

Welcome to Martin Quintanilla’s Tucson, on display through Dec. 31 at Contreras Gallery and Jewelry, 110 E. Sixth St., 398-6557, www. contrerashousefineart.com. Open 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday. Closed Dec. 22 through 26; open Dec. 27 through 31; early closing on New Year’s Eve. You can’t see the Convento, real or re-imagined, anywhere outside of Contreras, but you can see other historic edifices that inspired Quintanilla if you take a stroll in Tucson’s arts districts, now all lit up for Christmas. While you’re at it, you can see plenty of art inside.

Many galleries are running shows tailored to the holidays, exhibiting small pieces with (relatively) small price tags. Keep in mind that holiday hours can change at these small galleries; calling in advance is recommended.

Downtown’s newest art venue, Atlas Fine Art Services, stages Small Works, an exhibition of compact drawings, paintings and prints by some 20 artists. Jim Waid entered three gorgeously colored plant-based oval paintings.

Chris Rush has two exquisite drawings of human faces. Katherine Monaghan ingeniously colors her transfer prints with real rust.

Atlas proprietors James Schaub and Albert Chamillard have a lot of experience on the Tucson art scene, most recently at Firestone Gallery. A painter himself, Schaub says the gallery will focus on abstraction, and on artists connected to Arizona, exhibiting “two generations of artists: the old standbys, and new people.”

Small Works continues through Jan. 14 at 41 S. Sixth Ave., 622-2139. The gallery is open from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesday through Thursday; and 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Friday and Saturday; regular hours on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. At The Drawing Studio, Atlas’ next-door neighbor, Small Wonders exhibits 100 or more pieces in all media, none bigger than 11 inches

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by 17 inches. Kathryn Willis’ thickly painted oil, “Golden Delicious,” is luscious, as is Mariana Carreras’ “Asleep,” a tone-dry point etching of a female nude. Created by faculty, students and friends of the studio, all pieces are priced at $200 or less.

Small Wonders continues through Dec. 17 at 33 S. Sixth Ave., 620-0947, www. thedrawingstudio.org. Open noon to 4 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday, through Dec. 17; also open 7 to 10 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, for 2nd Saturdays Downtown, and 6 to 9 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17, for the Tucson Parade of Lights.

Nearby, Obsidian Gallery has settled into the Historic Train Depot, after pulling up stakes at St. Philip’s Plaza. “We’re doing well downtown,” the gallery’s James Prillaman says.

“On Fridays and Saturdays especially, we see 50, 60, 70 people in a given day.”

Right now, visitors can take in Figures and Frames, a figurative show concentrating on two Tucson sculptors. Michael Cajero has a small tribe of figures in glittery ceramic. They’re not as anguished as some of his previous twisted papier-mâché works, but “Waiting Old Man,” a writhing figure in clay and sparkly glaze, comes close. Curt Brill exhibits 14 of his wonderfully attenuated bronze nudes, including “Lisa,” a lifesize female nude that once presided in a show at the University of Arizona Museum of Art. Among 2-D artists displaying works on the wall, Brooke Grucella, director of the UA’s Joseph Gross Gallery, is showing “In Your Eyes,” a delightfully ironic ink drawing on photo paper of a man holding a baby.

Figures and Frames continues through Jan. 14 at 410 N. Toole Ave., No. 130, 577-3598, www. obsidian-gallery.com. Open 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; closing at 3 p.m. on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. Kate Breakey’s mesmerizing Slowlight photographs dominate her midcareer survey at Etherton Gallery. See the review in the Nov. 24 Tucson Weekly. The exhibit is on display through Jan. 21 at 135 S. Sixth Ave., 624-7370, www.ethertongallery.com. Open 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday.

Stroll south to Philabaum Glass Studio and Gallery to take a look at Studio Hotshots, an exhibition of local glass artists. The lineup includes Dan Enwright, Erika Parkin, Louis Via and Paul Anders-Stout, along with work by the gallery’s guiding light, Tom Philabaum. Check out the studio-made holiday ornaments in glass.

If you’re lucky, you might catch a glimpse of artists at work melting glass in the fiery furnace.

Studio Hotshots opens with a reception from 3 to 5 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, and closes Jan. 28, at 711 S. Sixth Ave., 884-7404, www.

“Pecado Original” (cropped), by Martin Quintanilla at Contreras Gallery. of dancers. philabaumglass.com. Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., High Contrast continues through Dec. 23 Tuesday through Saturday. Call for holiday at Conrad Wilde Gallery, Suite 195, from 11 hours. a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday.

North of downtown, in the gallery-rich zone Willow Bader: Bodies in Motion continues at Sixth Street and Sixth Avenue, Paris-based through Dec. 23 at Tucson Contemporary Arts, painter Jan Olsson and Oracle sculptor Joy Fox Suite 171. Both galleries are at 439 N. Sixth Ave. team up at Davis Dominguez Gallery. Olsson, and can be reached at 622-8997; www. originally from Tucson, photographed the All conradwildegallery.com.

Souls Procession last year, and used the Susan Gamble’s Santa Theresa Tile Works wrenching skeleton images to retell the tragic each year comes up with new designs for tale of Psyche, whose marriage coincided with ceramic holiday ornaments. Entries for 2011 her death. Olsson painted on the surface of the include an angel in a purple dress and silver photos, using a somber palette of beige, black wings, and a Three Kings camel plodding and gray. She also has some lighter, holidaytoward Bethlehem. Judaica ornaments feature a friendly work, a series of lovely, loosely menorah or a Star of David; 440 N. Sixth Ave., sketched drawings of women at work (ironing) 623-8640, www.santatheresatileworks.com. and play (trying on fashions).

Open 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesday through Fox continues with her large-scale ceramics, Friday; and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday. burning and etching flesh-colored clay to conPoco a Poco at Raices Taller 222 is a holijure figures that are half-human, half animal. day exhibition of small works, all priced at The exhibit is on display through Dec. 17 at 154 $222 or less. Some 30 invited guest artists E. Sixth St., 629-9759, www.davisdominguez. contributed pieces in all media. The art of com. Open 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Oracle-based husband-and-wife artists James Friday; and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday.

Cowlin and Barbara Kemp Cowlin is inspired Conrad Wilde Gallery has scaled back and by the landscape. Painter Barbara works in moved around the corner. While the new acrylic on panel, painting abstracted reflecspace, Suite 195 in the Firestone Building, is tions of the land in water; photographer “significantly smaller,” gallery director Miles James produces pigment ink prints.

Conrad says he plans to continue exhibiting Jessie Shinn, whose inked landscapes on fine contemporary art, though on a more-limited basis. The first exhibition in the new space, recycled notepaper dazzled in a recent show, this time paints abstractions in ink and acrylic High Contrast, showcases such gallery favorites on clay board. as Tim Mosman and Margaret Suchland, who Poco a Poco continues through Jan. 7 at 218 explore “juxtapositions of dark and light.”

E. Sixth St., 881-5335, raicestaller222.webs.

Conrad is also sponsoring a new venture, com. Open 1 to 5 p.m., Friday and Saturday.

Tucson Contemporary Arts, in Wilde’s former At 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, students from the space in No. 171 of the Firestone. The new UA Department of Spanish and Portuguese venue—a nonprofit, co-op membership galperform a kid-friendly version of La Pastorela lery—is actively seeking artists. For now, the in the gallery. Donations suggested; bring gallery is continuing the Wilde-organized show goodies to share. of Willow Bader’s sensuous encaustic paintings DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

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VISUAL ARTS Emily Dickinson’s words get translated into visual art for The Big Read’s big finale

Pictorial Pleasures

BY MARGARET REGAN, mregan@tucsonweekly.com f Emily Dickinson were alive today, she’d be celebrating her 181st birthday on Dec. 10.

She’s not, of course. The poet died at 55 in 1886, but her Tucson fans are feting her birthday on Saturday anyway.

The party is the grand finale of The Big Read—the genre-jumping festival of poetry, music and dance that’s been honoring Dickinson’s life and work in Tucson all fall.

Visual artists will open an exhibit of works inspired by her words; musicians will conjure Dickinson in music; and dancers will evoke Emily in dance. Everyone is invited to eat a piece of Dickinson birthday cake. (For a complete schedule, see the info box.)

The art opening kicks off the evening at 5 p.m. in a temporary pop-up gallery in the historic Firestone Building at Sixth Avenue and Sixth Street. Twenty-nine visual artists signed on to create works meditating on one of Dickinson’s first lines. The Massachusetts poet wrote nearly 1,800 poems—only a few were published in her lifetime—and nearly every one begins powerfully.

Take the first line selected by local painter Catherine Eyde: “Hope” is the thing with feathers—.

Or this one: I heard, as if I had no Ear. Artist Chika Matsuda picked the ear poem,

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and cast her own ear in white plaster. But she didn’t do the expected thing. Instead of making a replica of the outer lobe, she went for the interior, as the tradition-busting Dickinson might have. Matsuda’s sculpture is an image of her ear’s internal passageways—where the ear hears.

“It’s a wonderful piece, very minimal,” says Heather Green, the artist who co-curated the show with photographer Valerie Galloway.

(Lisa Bowden, the publisher of Kore Press and chief organizer of The Big Read, also had a hand in selecting the contributors.)

The first-line rule, decreed by Bowden, makes for “more-provocative” artwork, Green says. “It’s wonderful for visual artists to respond to a fragment.”

Because the exhibition honors a poet, Green and Galloway started out inviting only artists who work with texts—book-artist Beata Wehr, for example. For this project, Wehr made a book fragment based on the line We grow accustomed to the Dark—.

Two pages are stitched together. One side bears the image of a dark moon; the other is an inverted portrait of a woman.

Once word got out about the show, though, artists of all stripes wanted to enter, Green says, and she and Galloway abandoned their rule about text artists. However, Bowden—who got

“We grow accustomed to the Dark—” by Beata Wehr, mixed media.

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“A Death blow is a Life blow to Some,” by Mauricio Toussaint, encaustic on handmade paper. the National Endowment for the Arts grant that jump-started Tucson’s Big Read—came up with another specification that would link the art to the written word: She dictated that each artwork had to be 8 inches high by 10 inches wide, the same size of the so-called fascicles—or booklets—into which Dickinson gathered her poems.

Within that framework, the art varies widely.

Eyde’s drawing, for instance, is worlds apart from Matsuda’s minimal sculpture. Eyde specializes in deliberately naïve, sometimes fanciful painting, and here, she’s imagined the cemetery in the rolling Massachusetts landscape where Dickinson is buried. A white bird is perched on Emily’s tombstone. Papers inscribed with her poems are scattered among the flowers below. On a curling banner are the words, “thank you.”

Eyde’s bird, conjuring up the line “Hope” is the thing with feathers—, is one of many in the show, Green says. Dickinson was a serious gardener, and flowers, birds, snakes and other creatures make frequent appearances in her poetry. Janet Miller picked up on Dickinson’s affection for nature, and her sometimes-overlooked humor, in Bee! I’m expecting you! In her reverse-glass painting, Miller imagines a romantic meeting between a fly and a bee. The shiny gold bee greets the fly with a bouquet of pink flowers.

Ellen McMahon submitted an austere blackand-white photo of a bone and a plastic bottle that mimics it. The piece appeared in her show at Pima Community College this fall, but here, she matches it with the Dickinson line Between the form of Life and Life.

By contrast, Barbara Rogers’ oil on rag paper is brilliantly colored, a rich red covered with designs in gold, black and white. The work is inspired by There is an arid Pleasure—.

Kimi Eisele, a choreographer and dancer in the well-received NEW ARTiculations dance concert If my Verse is alive, created a paper cut-

‘Delight—becomes pictorial’: A Visual Lexicon of Dickinson’s First Lines Opening reception: 5 to 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10 Continues 3 to 6:30 p.m., Friday; and 4 to 7 p.m., Saturday, through Friday, Dec. 30; closes at 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve Historic Firestone Building 439 N. Sixth Ave., No. 179 Free 327-2127; www.korepress.org; www.bigreadtucson.com Also: Other Big Read events on Saturday, Dec. 10: 7:30 p.m., birthday cake and music by violinist Vicki Brown at Etherton Gallery, 135 S. Sixth Ave., 624-7370; donation suggested. From 8:30 to 10:30 p.m.: “Performance Party” at Hotel Congress, 311 E. Congress St., 622-8848, with Emily Dickinson-inspired music by Maggie Golston, La Cerca, Chris Black, Amy Rude, Marianne Dissard and Saint Maybe; plus DJ mixes, video, dance, readings of Dickinson poems, and readings of new work inspired by the poet; $8 advance through korepress.org; $10 door.

out of a woman’s bust bound tightly in a corset.

(She knows whereof she speaks: The NEW ART dancers wore costumes based on 19thcentury clothing.) Eisele’s piece aptly suggests her Dickinson line, Bind me—I still can sing—.

For Green, the exhibition (named for the verse Delight—becomes pictorial—) does exactly what the whole of The Big Read was designed to do: bring readers to the poems.

“It’s wonderful that the artists are reinterpreting Emily Dickinson’s words, re-examining her works and what they mean now,” she says. “The poems read fresh now.

Arts editor Margaret Regan reports on the arts twice monthly on the Buckmaster show, which airs from noon to 1 p.m., Monday through Friday, on KVOI AM 1030. Her next radio report will be broadcast live on Tuesday, Dec. 13.

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TOHONO CHUL PARK Tohono Chul Park. 7366 N. Paseo del Norte. 7426455. Wordplay: Artful Words, an exhibition that explores the relationship of art to language, is displayed through Sunday, Jan. 22; free with admission. Hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., daily; $7, $5 senior or active military, $3 student with ID, $2 age 5 to 12, free younger child.

Call or visit tohonochulpark.org for information.

TUCSON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT GALLERY Tucson International Airport Gallery. 7250 S. Tucson Blvd. Modello, an exhibit of paintings and prints by Christina McNearney in the TIA Center Gallery, and Our Arizona, an exhibit of quilts celebrating the state’s centennial in Welcome Lounge A, continue through Saturday, Dec. 31. Photographs on loan from Etherton Gallery’s Exhibit Rockin’ the Desert: Photographs by Baron Wolman and Lynn Goldsmith are displayed adjacent to Security Checkpoint B through Sunday, Jan. 15.

The galleries are always open; free. Visit flytucsonairport.com for more information.

UA POETRY CENTER ART EXHIBIT UA Poetry Center. 1508 E. Helen St. 626-3765.

Soldiering/Dreams of Wartime, in which painter Noah Saterstrom and poet Anne Waldman collaborate on a single narrative, is on display through Thursday, Dec. 15. Portraits of Poets, a limited-edition series of Gwyneth Scally’s hand-pulled linoleum prints of famous poets’ portraits, continues through Saturday, Jan. 28.

Hours are 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday; free.

UNITY OF TUCSON Unity of Tucson. 3617 N. Camino Blanco. 577-3300.

An exhibition of photography by Jan Mayer continues through Tuesday, Jan. 3. Hours are 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Sunday; and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday through Friday; free.

VINYL TO CANVAS Tucson Pima Arts Council. 100 N. Stone Ave., No. 303.

624-0595. Howe Gelb, Al Perry, Tom Walbank, Emilie Marchand, Gabriel Sullivan, Chris Black and Dimitri Manos are visual artists as well as musicians. An exhibit of their work continues through Friday, Dec. 23, in the lobby and adjacent conference room. Hours are 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; free.

WOMEN’S CREATIVE PLAY DAYS Dry River Collective. 740 N. Main Ave. 882-2170.

Women gather to make art and have fun in a relaxed setting from 10 a.m. to noon, every Friday, except Dec. 23, in Kaitlin’s Creative Cottage in the courtyard; $5.

Bring something to complete, or a small project you’d like to begin; tea and cookies are provided.

LAST CHANCE ROMANCE THE PAINT Social Science Junk Shop. 43 S. Sixth Ave. 261-6211.

An exhibition of recent paintings by Audra Cobelis closes Friday, Dec. 9. A reception features music by Sunny Italy, Jimmy Carr and Page of Cups from 5 to 9 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9; free. Call 777-6355 for more information.

TOHONO CHUL PARK Tohono Chul Park. 7366 N. Paseo del Norte. 742-6455.

Holiday for the Park, a seasonal exhibition and sale of handmade ornaments, closes Monday, Dec. 12. Hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., daily; $7, $5 senior or active military, $3 student with ID, $2 age 5 to 12, free younger child. Call or visit tohonochulpark.org for information.

TUCSON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT GALLERY Tucson International Airport Gallery. 7250 S. Tucson Blvd. An exhibit of works by members of the Plein Air Painters Society closes in the Lower Link Gallery through Saturday, Dec. 10. The galleries are always open; free. Visit flytucsonairport.com for more info.

OUT OF TOWN GLOBAL ARTS GALLERY Global Arts Gallery. 315 McKeown Ave. Patagonia.

(520) 394-0077. Barbara Brandel: Sacred Threads, an exhibit of paintings inspired by textiles from around the world, continues through Monday, Jan. 30. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., daily; free.

SPIRIT GALLERY Spirit Gallery. 516 Tombstone Canyon Road. Bisbee.

(520) 249-7856. Rock Paper Fence, an exhibit of recent work by Laurie McKenna, continues through Sunday, Jan. 15. Hours are noon to 6 p.m., Friday and Saturday; and noon to 4 p.m., Sunday; free. Call (520) 432-5491 for more information.

TUBAC CENTER OF THE ARTS Tubac Center of the Arts. 9 Plaza Road. Tubac. (520) 398-2371. The 41st Annual Members’ Only Show and a showcase of hand-crafted gifts, collectibles and miniatures continue through Monday, Jan. 2. Hours are 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday through Saturday; and noon to 4:30 p.m., Sunday; free. Call or visit tubacarts.org for more information.

UA BIOSPHERE 2 GALLERY Biosphere 2 Center. 32540 S. Biosphere 2 Road.

Oracle. 838-6200. Earth and Mars: Stephen Strom, a collection of diptychs that juxtapose abstract desert landscape images with photos of Mars from the NASA archives, is displayed through Friday, March 30; free with admission. Hours are 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., daily, except Sunday, Dec. 25; $10 to $20. Visit b2science. org for more information.

UPCOMING TUCSON JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER Tucson Jewish Community Center. 3800 E. River Road. 299-3000, ext. 106. Synagogues of Mexico: Photographs by Moy Volkovich opens Friday, Dec. 16, and continues through Thursday, Feb. 2. Except for Jewish holidays, gallery hours are 7 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sunday; 5:30 a.m. to 10 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., Friday; and 7 a.m. to 6 p.m., Saturday; free. Visit tucsonjcc.org for a schedule of holidays.

ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL FOR ARTISTS Temple Gallery. Temple of Music and Art. 330 S. Scott Ave. 624-7370. Arizona artists older than 18 may submit work in any two-dimensional media for consideration in Red: A Juried Invitational, to be exhibited from Saturday, April 7, through Friday, June 1, 2012.

The exhibit accompanies the Arizona Theatre Company’s production of Red, a 2010 Tony Award-winning play about Mark Rothko. Submission deadline is Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2012. Visit ethertongallery.com for submission guidelines.

CALL FOR ARTISTS Agua Caliente Park Ranch House Gallery. 12325 E. Roger Road. 749-3718. Artists are invited to submit work that’s in keeping with the park setting, reflecting nature, wildlife, landscapes, Southwestern themes or local cultures, to be considered for a four-week exhibit in 2013. The application deadline is Friday, Jan. 6. Call or email aguacalientepark@pima.gov for information.

CALL TO ARTISTS Eckstrom-Columbus Branch, Pima County Public Library. 4350 E. 22nd St. 594-5285. Individuals and nonprofit organizations residing in Pima County are invited to submit ready-to-hang, two-dimensional works for a community art exhibit to take place from Tuesday, Jan. 10, through Wednesday, Feb. 29. Submission deadline is Saturday, Dec. 31. Call Debbie Chavez for submission requirements. Hours are 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday, except Dec. 25 and Jan. 1; free.

CALL FOR ENTRIES: ENCAUSTICS The Drawing Studio. 33 S. Sixth Ave. 620-0947.

Thursday, Dec. 15, is the deadline for entries in Arizona Encaustics 2012: A Statewide Juried Exhibition. Visit thedrawingstudio.org for a prospectus. The exhibition takes place from Saturday, March 3, through Saturday, March 31.

CALL FOR SCULPTORS PCC East Campus. 8181 E. Irvington Road. 2067662. Pima Community College seeks submissions for Sculpture-on-Campus, a presentation of contemporary outdoor sculptural works. The application deadline is 4:45 p.m., Friday, Dec. 16. Information about the application process, installation and stipend is available at ecc.pima.edu/sculpture-on-campus. Call 206-7608 for more information.

MUSEUMS EVENTS THIS WEEK A HEALTHY CELEBRATION Arizona State Museum. 1013 E. University Blvd. 6216302. Terrol Dew Johnson’s Through the Eyes of the Eagle: Illustrating Healthy Living continues through Saturday, Jan. 7. The family-friendly exhibition raises awareness about Type 2 diabetes prevention from a Native American perspective, using photographs, objects, artwork, storytelling, hands-on activities and video. Many Mexicos: Vistas de la Frontera is exhibited through November 2012. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.,

Monday through Saturday; $5, free younger than 18, member, active-duty military and their families, UA and PCC staff or student with ID, researchers and scholars with appointments, visitors to the library or the store, and everyone on days of public programs. Visit statemuseum.arizona.edu for more information.

areas. Collections include the Huggett Family collection of ranching artifacts, a documents archive and many books on local history. Hours are 1 to 5 p.m., each Saturday, with extended hours for special exhibits; free, donations welcome.

CENTER FOR CREATIVE PHOTOGRAPHY Center for Creative Photography. 1030 N. Olive Road.

621-7968. Ansel Adams: The View From Here, featuring 40 photographs of the Yosemite wilderness taken in the 1910s and 20s, opens Saturday, Dec. 10, and continues through Sunday, Feb. 5. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 1 to 4 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; free. Visit creativephotography.org for info.

LITERATURE

IT’S A GAS: THE BRIGHT SIDE OF SCIENCE UA Science: Flandrau. 1601 E. University Blvd. 6217827. An exhibit about the science of gases, including information about climate, micro-organisms, hot-air balloons and how Tucson’s famous neon signs are being restored, continues through Saturday, Dec. 31. Hours are 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Monday through Friday; 6 to 9 p.m., Friday; 10 a.m. to 9 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 4 p.m., Sunday; $7.50, $5 age 4 to 15, free younger child, $2 Arizona college student with ID, $2 discount to CatCard holders. Visit flandrau.org for more info.

MOCA MOCA. 265 S. Church Ave. 624-5019. Raymond Pettibon: The Punk Years continues through Sunday, Jan. 15. The exhibit is part of the citywide Tucson Rocks!; visit tucsonrocks.org for more information. Camp Bosworth’s Plata o Plomo, which interprets the Marfa artist’s perceptions of gangster culture in the Americas, continues through Sunday, Jan. 29. Camp Bosworth gives an artist talk about his exhibit Plata o Plomo at 5:30 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 14; $5; free member.

Hours are noon to 5 p.m., Thursday through Sunday; $8, free member, child younger than 17, veteran, active-military and public-safety officers, and everyone the first Sunday of each month. Call or visit moca-tucson.org for more information.

THE SOUTHERN ARIZONA JEWISH EXPERIENCE 1850 TO 1950 The Jewish History Museum. 564 S. Stone Ave. 6709073. An exhibit exploring the daily lives of Jews in Southern Arizona continues through Thursday, Dec. 29. Hours are from 1 to 5 p.m., Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday; $5, free member, student with ID and child younger than 12.

TUCSON MUSEUM OF ART Tucson Museum of Art. 140 N. Main Ave. 624-2333.

Who Shot Rock ’n’ Roll: A Photographic History, 1955 to the Present, continues through Sunday, Jan. 15. Visit tucsonrocks.org for more information. Docent Ellie Eigne discusses the life and work of Annie Leibovitz at 1 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 15; free with admission. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; and noon to 5 p.m., Sunday; $8, $6 senior or veteran, $3 student with ID, free younger than 13 and everyone the first Sunday every month.

UA MUSEUM OF ART UA Museum of Art. 1031 N. Olive Road. 621-7567.

Good Vibrations: The Guitar as Design, Craft and Function, a Tucson Rocks! exhibition, continues through Sunday, Jan. 15. Visit tucsonrocks.org for more information. Paseo de Humanidad, a 13-piece installation of life-sized migrant figures and Mayan and Aztec codices, is displayed through Sunday, March 11, as a backdrop for Soundscapes of the Border and The Border Centennial Project: An Exhibition and Symposium. The Samuel H. Kress Collection and the altarpiece from Ciudad Rodrigo are on display until further notice. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; and noon to 4 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; $5, free member, student, child, faculty and staff with ID. Call or visit artmuseum.arizona.edu for more information.

OUT OF TOWN TUBAC PRESIDIO STATE HISTORIC PARK Tubac Presidio State Historic Park. 1 Burruel St. Tubac.

398-2252. Encounters: A Native American Ethnic Costume Exhibit, a glimpse into the lives of the Yaqui, Seri, Tohono O’odham and Yuma people, continues through Sunday, Feb. 26. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., daily; $4, $2 age 7 to 13, free younger child. Costumes are from the collection of the Castañeda Museum of Ethnic Costume of Tucson.

ANNOUNCEMENTS ACADIA RANCH MUSEUM AND ORACLE HISTORICAL SOCIETY Acadia Ranch Museum. 825 Mount Lemmon Road.

Oracle. 896-9609. The Oracle Historical Society preserves artifacts and properties to educate and to encourage appreciation of the unique cultural-historical heritage of the community of Oracle and surrounding

City Week Guidelines. Send information for City Week to Listings Editor, Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726, e-mail our account at listings@tucsonweekly.com or submit a listing online at tucsonweekly.com. The deadline is Monday at noon, 11 days before the Thursday publication date.

Please include a short description of your event; the date, time and address where it is taking place; information about fees; and a phone number where we can reach you for more information. Because of space limitations, we can’t use all items. Event information is accurate as of press time. The Weekly recommends calling event organizers to check for lastminute changes in location, time, price, etc.

EVENTS THIS WEEK BYRD BAYLOR: YES IS BETTER THAN NO Byrd Baylor discusses and signs her new book at 1 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11, Singing Wind Bookshop, 700 W. Singing Wind Road, Benson, (520) 586-2425; 2 to 5 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17, Tohono O’odham Cultural Center and Museum, Topawa, (520) 383-0200; and 1:30 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 18, Amerind Foundation, 2100 N. Amerind Road, Dragoon, (520) 586-3666.

CELEBRITY POETS EXHIBIT UA Poetry Center. 1508 E. Helen St. 626-3765. An exhibit of poetry by celebrities including Leonard Nimoy, Suzanne Somers, Viggo Mortensen, Leonard Cohen and Tupac Shakur continues through Friday, Dec. 23. Hours are 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday; free.

JIM TURNER: ARIZONA: A CELEBRATION OF THE GRAND CANYON STATE The Jewish History Museum. 564 S. Stone Ave. 6709073. Historian Jim Turner presents a digitally illustrated lecture about 100 years of Arizona statehood, and signs copies of his book, at 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; $5; free member.

UPCOMING JIM TURNER: ARIZONA: A CELEBRATION OF THE GRAND CANYON STATE Tubac Presidio State Historic Park. 1 Burruel St. Tubac.

398-2252. Jim Turner signs his Arizona centennial book, which features hundreds of historic photos and illustrations, from 1 to 4 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 18; free. A lecture and reception take place at 2 p.m.; $5.

PURE LOGOPHILIA: POETRY READING AND BOOK SIGNING Casa Libre en la Solana. 228 N. Fourth Ave. 325-9145.

Samuel Ace and Maureen Seaton give a reading and sign copies of their collaboration Pure Logophilia at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17; $5. Refreshments are served.

The event is co-sponsored by Chax Press.

ANNOUNCEMENTS BOOKWORMS Bookmans. 1930 E. Grant Road. 325-5767. This book club meets from 7 to 8 p.m., on the second Wednesday of every month; free.

CALL TO SHORT-FICTION WRITERS Entries are due Thursday, Dec. 15, for the Kore Press 2012 short-fiction contest, to be judged this year by author and poet Karen Brennan. Prizes are $1,000 and publication in a chap book. Visit korepress.org for more information.

CONTEMPORARY FICTION BOOK CLUB Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. 2295300. Current literary fiction is the topic from 10 a.m. to noon, on the second Thursday of every month; free.

Call or visit orovalleyaz.gov for more information.

OMNIVOROUS READERS Sahuarita Branch, Tucson-Pima Public Library. 725 W. Via Rancho Sahuarita. Sahuarita. 594-5490. Maurynne Maxwell leads discussions of a mix of contemporary fiction and nonfiction from 10 a.m. to noon, the second Saturday of every month; free.

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LECTURES EVENTS THIS WEEK EARLY LATTER-DAY SAINTS IN TUCSON Agua Caliente Regional Park. 12325 E. Roger Road.

877-6000. Catherine Ellis shares the story of Nephi Bingham and other refugees from Mexico to the Mormon settlement known as the Binghampton area of Tucson, from 1 to 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11; free. Reservations are required; call 615-7855, or email eeducation@ pima.gov for reservations or more information.

FREE THOUGHT IN ARIZONA LECTURE SERIES DuVal Auditorium, UA Medical Center. 1501 N. Campbell Ave. 694-0111. Robert Mohelnitzky speaks about “Ending Hunger in America With Existing Resources,” from 10 a.m. to noon; and about “Mental Health Services in America: A History of Missed Opportunities” from 1 to 3 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11. Both lectures are followed by Q&A time. Before the lectures, Gil Shapiro leads a roundtable discussion about the intersection of religion and culture in the lobby from 8 a.m. to 9:15 a.m. All events are free. Email jkarches@ swhaz.com, or call 297-9919 for more information.

GUSTAV KLIMT CRIZMAC Art and Cultural Marketplace. 1642 N. Alvernon Way. 323-8555. A lecture and review of the works of Gustav Klimt, including his most-famous work, “The Kiss,” takes place from 11 a.m. to noon, and from 6 to 7 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 13; free. Call or visit crizmac.com for more information.

LECTURES ON THE ART OF ADVENT, THE NATIVITY AND THE ADORATION St. Philip’s in the Hills Episcopal Church. 4440 N. Campbell Ave. 299-6421. Kevin Justus explores how artists have historically depicted mysteries of the Christian faith at 10:15 a.m., Sunday; free. Dec. 11: The Nativity: The Portrayal of Joy and the Agony of Childbirth. Dec. 18: The Adoration: Shepherds, Kings and a Donkey.

SCIENCE DOWNTOWN LECTURE SERIES Science Downtown. 300 E. Congress St. 622-8595. A lecture series features UA scholars from 2 to 3 p.m., Sunday; free. Dec. 11: Elliot Cheu presents “Search for Dark Matter.” Dec. 18: Ed Beshore presents “Near Earth Objects: NEOs.” TUESDAY ART TALKS Dusenberry River Branch, Tucson-Pima Public Library.

5605 E. River Road. 594-5345. Docents from the UA Museum of Art give talks from 2 to 3 p.m., the second and fourth Tuesday of every month; free.

OUT OF TOWN OBSIDIAN TRADE IN THE CHACO CULTURE North County Facility. 50 Bridge Road. Tubac. (520) 398-1800. Archaeologist Jeremy Moss discusses the trading relationships among Chacoan communities as represented by how they used obsidian, at the December meeting of the Santa Cruz Valley Chapter of the Arizona Archaeological Society, at 7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 8; free. Society meetings are open to the public the second Thursday of every month. Call 207-7151, or visit azarchsoc.org for more information.

YOU ARE HERE Ventana Medical Systems. 1910 Innovation Park Drive.

Oro Valley. 887-2155. William Doelle and Douglas Gann of the Center for Desert Archaeology share findings from Oro Valley sites and an inside look at the Honey Bee Village site, at 10 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 10; free.

Following the presentation, participants tour an exhibit of aerial photography of archaeological sites in the Southwest. Call 882-6946, ext. 23, for more info.

UPCOMING BUTTERFLY BASICS Tucson Botanical Gardens. 2150 N. Alvernon Way. 3269686, ext. 10. Elizabeth Willott, curator of Butterfly Magic, presents an introduction of butterfly biology from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m., the third Tuesday of every month; $12, $7 member, includes admission to Butterfly Magic. Visit tucsonbotanical.org for more info.

CHICK LIT Native Seeds/SEARCH Retail Store. 3061 N. Campbell Ave. 622-5561. Pat Foreman, author of City Chicks, discusses how chickens can provide fertilizer and help control insects, rodents and weeds, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 19; free.

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BOOKS This collection of short stories shows what ‘happily ever after’ looks like in the real world

Can’t Help It

BY CHRISTINE WALD-HOPKINS, mailbag@tucsonweekly.com glance at the perfectly picked cover art for this new collection of short stories by K.L Cook will tell you what you’re in for: It’s “Orpheus and Eurydice,” from a 1992 acrylic by Stephen Schultz. Picturing Eurydice following Orpheus up from the dark of Hades, it shows her gazing at him with trust, hope and love. They’re almost into the light.

Schultz has captured Orpheus, however, at the very moment when he’s about to turn and look back. He clearly just can’t help it.

Things, as you’ll recall, don’t work out so well for them.

In Love Songs for the Quarantined, Prescott resident Cook presents 16 finely wrought stories about the sublime and stumbling, the caring and cruel in romantic and family relations.

The collection is divided into four sections.

While none of the stories repeats characters or situations, themes and characters’ qualities are so similar that they begin to paint a familiar picture. Most of the protagonists are male.

With the exception of those in Part III, the characters are working-class. They live in dusty parts of Texas or Oklahoma. Their examined relationships are with wives, mothers, siblings, uncles, stepfathers. Some have issues with alcohol. Some have issues with anger. Some beat their wives, then beg forgiveness. Some are children helplessly listening to the beatings. To one degree or another, most just can’t help it.

The book opens with an award-winning period piece seemingly unrelated to the rest of the collection. But “Bonnie and Clyde in the Backyard” introduces themes that recur: emotional ambivalence; and a secret longing or capacity for violence, shame or guilt.

Cook sets up the improbable—but engaging— situation of outlaws Bonnie and Clyde dropping in to visit distant cousins. The point-of view character is a 13-year-old who’s quit school because his father is dying. The boy and his father have been riveted to accounts of the gang’s exploits, and this visit provides a guilty pleasure. In a moment of epiphany, the boy realizes that his father and their infamous cousin have both been eluding “forces determined to kill them off.” That, naturally, can’t last.

In the second section, the central characters are also young or adolescent, and Cook sympathetically raises with them themes of betrayal, guilt and abuse. In a series of ministories, the primary relationship is boys and their mothers,

A

Love Songs for the Quarantined

By K.L. Cook

TOP TEN Mostly Books’ best-sellers for the week ending Dec. 2, 2011

Willow Springs Editions

1. Inheritance

170 pages, $19.95

Christopher Paolini, Knopf ($22.39, sale)

but an appealing exception is “Chalkdust on a Dress.” It’s a crush-on-a-teacher piece in which the object of the crush goes from being the lovely “Miss Downey” to the unlovely “Mrs. Subotnick”: “The poetry’s all gone,” the narrator muses regretfully, “And that’s how love goes.”

Looking at the book through parts I, II and IV, you could call it a sensitive, well-crafted literary work, reflective of a sort of hopelessness and male rage spawned from diminishing economic opportunity and fluctuating gender expectations. But Part III blasts that stuffy characterization right out of the water.

Although central characters vary, the stories in Part III read like the tale of a single young family. Characters are professionals. Although they might be anxious, they don’t beat their wives. They have a sense of humor. They face tragedy clear-eyed. This is the warm “Love Song” part of Love Songs for the Quarantined.

The stories are arranged chronologically.

Grad school. An affecting but not cloying “First Birth.” A child dies. The central character frets about bills and masculinity in “What They Didn’t Tell You About the Vasectomy.” In the title piece, a young family is isolated by an oldfashioned contagion—whooping cough.

But the story that could alone justify the price of admission to this work is a one-sentence, two-page piece that first appeared in Harvard Review.

“Orchestration” is a stream-of-consciousness, music-infused paean to the frustrations, pain and joys of raising children: “… so I want to sing an unending song to those years,” says Cook’s narrator, “and not just a light melodic ‘My Cup Runneth Over With Love,’ but also a hard-driving blues number with a too-loud drumbeat … and … the rock and roll of sleepless nights and … boulder breasts … and brassy blare of … this home of thick and chaotic love.” This is rich, memorable stuff.

By the end of the book, some character types and themes feel repetitive (beware of charming red-headed guys, ladies), but that can be the nature of “collected works,” and barely deserves a quibble.

Love Songs for the Quarantined is what “happily ever after” looks like in the real, contemporary world. And it’s definitely worth the look.

2. The Hunger Games Suzanne Collins, Scholastic ($8.99)

3. Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope Gabrielle Giffords and Mark Kelly, Scribner ($21.59, sale)

4. Explosive Eighteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel Janet Evanovich, Bantam ($22.40, sale)

5. 11/22/63: A Novel Stephen King, Scribner ($35)

6. And So It Goes: Kurt Vonnegut: A Life Charles J. Shields, Henry Holt and Co. ($30)

7. Damned Chuck Palahniuk, Doubleday ($24.95)

8. Heat Wave Richard Castle, Hyperion ($9.99)

9. Steve Jobs Walter Isaacson, Simon and Schuster ($35)

10. The Land of Painted Caves: A Novel Jean M. Auel, Bantam ($8.99) Stephen King

OUR LASTMINUTE GIFT GUIDE DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

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Last-Minute and Local There’s still some time left to buy Tucson-made gifts for your loved ones

BY ANNA MIROCHA, mailbag@tucsonweekly.com

n our Nov. 17 Gift Guide, we featured awesome items made locally—rather than focusing on independently owned stores, as we have in years past. And it was a lot of fun.

However, only a limited amount of awesome Tucson-made holiday gifts can fit into one Tucson Weekly feature—and we felt kind of guilty about omitting the other awesome homegrown gifts we found while exploring our town’s indie stores.

So here you have them. Since we always like to harp on the fact that Tucson’s locally owned operations are the best around, do browse the entirety of the stores (or websites) that sell these lovely gifts. That way, you can find a multitude of other locally made presents that didn’t make it into these pages.

Oh, and go shop now. The holidays are almost here!

Delizioza Abbondanza!

Pizza, Pasta and Italian Dishes Enjoy authentic Italian food continuously served by four generations of the Zagona family.

Italian Restaurant Since 1939 • 434 4th Avenue • Tucson, AZ 85705 • (520) 624-5765 • carusositalian.com G2 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

Cheri’s Desert Harvest 1840 E. Winsett St. 623-4141; www.cherisdesertharvest.com Homemade jelly is an absolutely delightful holiday gift, and if you don’t have the time or expertise to make it yourself, then you’ll need to buy it—and you’d better make sure that whatever you buy is made by a person, not a machine.

Otherwise, you might as well gift-wrap a jar of Smucker’s.

Even better, you should make sure the condiment in question has a Tucson flavor— specifically, the sweet-tart flavor one of the Southwest’s most-iconic items, the prickly pear.

Cheri’s Desert Harvest makes jams, jellies, candies and more from the prickly pear and other Southwest sources—and, man, are they good. Our recommendation is the “Cactus Patch Preserves” gift basket ($19.95), which contains prickly pear cactus jelly, “cactus marmalade,” prickly pear cactus honey (honey flavored with a bit of cactus juice) and cactus apple jelly (a blend of Granny Smith apple jelly plus prickly pear jelly). You can also buy individual jars of various types of Tucson-themed condiments for stocking stuffers (about $4).

TEPARY BEANS Native Seeds/SEARCH 3061 N. Campbell Ave. 622-5561; www.nativeseeds.org If you have a gardener on your gift list, there’s no chance you can buy him or her anything more useful and straight-outta-the-Southwest than seeds for tepary beans. These beans were first grown here by the Hohokam Indians—said to be the ancestors of our region’s own Tohono O’odham tribe—between A.D. 300 and 500, along with cotton, jack beans and certain kinds of squash. These beans are perfect for Tucson gardeners, because they’re one of the most drought-resistant crops in the world, capable of growing in areas with less than 16 inches of rainfall a year. The beans vary slightly in price depending on the variety.

Of course, tepary beans are just one of the incredibly cool crops that come out of Southern Arizona—and the Native Seeds/SEARCH store has just about any Southwest heirloom seed you might think of, from beans to gourds to chiles.

The store also has non-seed stuff like cook-

A few copies of this novel are available at Antigone Books, but we recommend you call first to determine availability—or just buy one through Pellegrino’s website. (Barnes and Noble will also have copies, but you won’t catch us telling you to patronize those chain stores here.)

A cherry pie from Le Cave’s Bakery. At Christmas, they bake pumpkin pies.

PUMPKIN PIE Le Cave’s Bakery 1219 S. Sixth Ave. 624-2561

TIM GLASS

PRICKLY PEAR CACTUS JELLY

books, T-shirts, American Indian crafts, soaps and salves.

If you need a gift for a plant-lover without a green thumb, you can “adopt a crop” for him or her—donating money to be used to continue the conservation farm run by Native Seeds/ SEARCH to sustain native plant strains that could otherwise go extinct. This present doesn’t even require a trip to the store—just head to the website.

“WINTER SNOWFLAKE” WAX WARMER Blue Daisy Candles 832 N. Independence Ave. 722-1818; www.bluedaisycandle.com If you’re not quite sure what to get as a gift for someone—really, anyone—candles are always a possible answer. But nowadays—because everyone knows they are an answer—it’s important to make sure any candle gift is pretty darn special.

One way is to make sure it was made in Tucson.

Another way is to make sure it’s healthy for your giftee to light, and that the fumes are OK to breathe in. Sorry to give you another thing to be paranoid about, but did you know that paraffin wax is linked to cancer? It’s sad, but true.

When Tucson artist Andrea Teal found out about that, she decided to make her own 100 percent soy candles, now sold under the Blue

Daisy Candles brand—and they make wonderful, unique gifts. Our favorite Blue Daisy gift idea is the “Winter Snowflake” wax warmer ($12): Just put a tea light candle in the bottom, and one or two cubes of (soy) wax on the top, and it’ll glow throughout your holiday.

‘JOURNEY OF DREAMS’ BY MARGE PELLEGRINO Antigone Books 411 N. Fourth Ave. 792-3715; www.margepellegrino.com Looking for another reason to be a proud Tucsonan? One thing a lot of us don’t know is that Tucson sits at the center of the Sanctuary Movement, a campaign to provide safe havens for refugees from around the world.

The young-adult (and adult-friendly) novel Journey of Dreams ($15.95), written by local author Marge Pellegrino, documents the trials and tribulations of one family’s journey from war-torn Guatemala to our little city. After much of their Guatemalan village is razed, Tomasa, Manuelito and baby Maria set off with their papa on a journey to the U.S Southwest for safety—and we won’t give any more away.

This book is perfect for any youths who need to get familiar with the problems of the rest of the world—or anyone who just loves good storytelling.

Going to a holiday party? Or hosting your own, and you just don’t have time to bake? (Or you suck at it?) The next-best thing to you baking the obligatory pumpkin pie is getting one from a lovely local bakery like Le Cave’s—and, hey, we hesitate to say it, but the pie from Le Cave’s may be better than the one you’d make.

Le Cave’s is locally famous for its doughnuts—which aren’t exactly holiday fare, but who are we to lay out boundaries?—but the bakery also rocks at pastries, cookies and pies of all sorts. We chose to spotlight the pumpkin pie, because, well, that’s our favorite kind of pie, and Le Cave’s makes a wicked one (for just $6.99). But as we’ve made clear, you can swing by this place to get any of your pastry needs.

(Of course, if you’re getting a pie for your own party, you might want to at least smush the side or poke the middle for authenticity—so people believe you made it.)

YOGA CLASS PASS Blue Lotus Good Heart Yoga 140 S. Tucson Blvd.

327-5920; www.bluelotusgoodheartyoga.com Holidays should be a time of relaxation, cheer and health. But for people with relatives visiting, the holidays can be super-stressful—and for people who don’t have any family around during this season, they can be pretty depressing. Oh, and when it comes to health, just take a peek at our enthusiastic pumpkin-pie blurb above, and you’ll be reminded that the holidays generally aren’t too good for the body.

Enter Blue Lotus Good Heart Yoga—literally, enter it, and buy a gift pass for anyone you think could use a trip there. The studio is cool—expansive wooden floors and serene blue walls help people relax even before they start doing moves. And when they do start, they’ll

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SOME PIZZA UNDER THE TREE! SANTA PUT some Gift Certificates and SEZ: Get’em spread the cheer!

get their endorphins going and banish any blues they might be feeling. Finally, yoga is the perfect exercise for helping people get healthy gently—that is, it might not burn off all the calories from the pumpkin pie, but at least it’s an exercise that won’t have you cramping up or groaning from working out on a full stomach.

A monthly unlimited-class pass is $50.

HANDMADE MOCCASINS San Agustin Trading Company 120 S. Avenida del Convento, No. 110 628-1800; www.sanagustintradingcompany.com Moccasins have been worn for centuries by native peoples across North America. But there are actual Southwest-style moccasins that are associated exclusively with tribes in … well, the Southwest.

Those moccasins would make for a very Tucson-style gift—and, in fact, they’ve been hand-crafted here at San Agustin Trading Company for more than 40 years by owner Jesse Aguiar, one of the best moccasin-makers around. Nowadays, the family-owned business hires a small production staff that produces 30 to 50 hand-stitched pairs of moccasins per day. Their moccasins are sought after around the world, because no other company uses the traditional ways of hand-cutting and hand blind-stitching. These shoes are truly a special gift—beautiful, comfortable and totally stylish to boot.

One way to go is with the classic one-button style ($45 to $75), but we really like the fourbutton style ($150) and the leather ballerina moccasins ($65). Who knew there were so many types?

MEDALLION NECKLACE BY CHRISTY LONG Bon Boutique 3022 E. Broadway Blvd.

795-2272; www.bon-boutique.com What holiday gift guide would be complete without mentioning at least one piece of exquisite jewelry to give to your wife or girlfriend in exchange for a little mistletoe make-out session?

TIM GLASS

Tempary beans from Native Seeds/SEARCH.

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We just don’t happen to think that every kiss begins with Kay. Our search for a jewelry jackpot began (and ended) with Bon, a boutique run by a mother and daughter that is full of hand-picked eclectic items, from couch pillows to barrettes to tiny felt finger puppets with animal heads. One necklace we found is made of hand-carved shell beads in the shapes of roses, all hand-knotted on silk thread, with a beautiful vintage religious medallion hanging at its center. Its $310 price tag is fitting, considering the fine craftsmanship by local jeweler Christy Long. Of course, price should be no object when you’re buying for your ladylove—but if she accidentally sees the receipt, she’ll probably love the necklace even more.

RECLAIMED-METAL ROBOT BANK Pop-Cycle 422 N. Fourth Ave. 622-3297 And finally … the kids’ stuff. Pop-Cycle on Fourth isn’t exactly a toy store; it carries everything from home furnishings to clothing to art.

But all the merchandise is wacky enough for a kid to love—and it’s all handmade from sustainable, organic and up-cycled materials. Most of the artisans are local, including the owners.

A few things they sell are made out of town, but are fantastically fun enough that they’re allowed.

Since the item we chose to profile fits the “fantastically fun” criterion, we broke our own rule to choose only stuff made right here in Tucson. See, this particular item was made by Aaron Voigt in … Phoenix.

But before you throw this article down in disgust, check out what we chose: awesome and hilarious-looking coin banks made out of welded pieces of old cars and knickknacks to form crazy-looking, clownish robots. There’s a good selection, but we can’t describe our favorite, because we have no knowledge of the car parts that constituted it. We think it would make a great addition to any kid’s room, and might even help a child save some coinage. Maybe your child giftee could even pay you back for the gift … someday, since the robots are $80 to $100.

I

tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for the annual home-video gift guide. That means I am taking a break from throwing eggnog at people and singing Arbor Day tunes! (Yes, we celebrate the holidays in a very strange way at my place.)

I admit that after all of the national press coverage of mob scenes at Walmart, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a little afraid to ven-

ture out to go shopping. Therefore, the prices included with this list of Blu-rays and DVDs come from Amazon.com. They may have changed a bit since this writing, but you should find them generally in the ballpark.

Shopping online is quiet, convenient and far less likely to result in a face full of pepper spray. Unless, of

course, you have some sort of crazy, self-aware computer equipped with arms and a bad temper, in which case you are on your own.

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Groovy Movies This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DVD/Blu-ray gift guide includes something for everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; even people you despise

BY BOB GRIMM, bgrimm@tucsonweekly.com

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EPIC FILM FRANCHISES WITH EPIC PACKAGES Star Wars: The Complete Saga 20th Century Fox Blu-ray: $99.99

Yeah, George Lucas wrecked the end of Return of the Jedi with that repugnant Darth Vader “No!” scream, but this set is still something you must give any movie-lover who hasn’t gotten it yet. The package includes the six Star Wars films and a bunch of terrific special features. Still, you don’t get the films in their original, unaltered formats—just the ones with all the crazy added footage. Lucas … I worry about you.

and liable to make the neighbors think there is some seriously crazy crap going on in your abode.

Harry Potter: Complete 8-Film Collection Warner Blu-ray: $79.99; DVD $48.99

Warner Bros. has put the word out that it won’t ship any Potter home videos after this month, so this is a good chance to make sure the Harry Potter fan in your life is all hooked up.

The Lord of the Rings: The Motion Picture Trilogy Extended Edition New Line Blu-ray: $49.99

Chances are, the Gollum-lover on your holiday list already owns the theatrical-version Blu-rays.

Well, the extended versions are better, and the special features are far more extensive, so that Gollum-lover will need to own both.

GIVE THE GIFT OF SCARY, ICKY HORROR

Jurassic Park Ultimate Trilogy

Evil Dead 2 (25th Anniversary Edition)

Universal Blu-ray: $46.99; DVD: $29.49

It’s amazing how well the CGI dinosaurs have stood the test of time, and it’s amazing that they haven’t made more of these movies, because they are cash cows. (Spielberg dropped hints this year that another may be on the way soon.)

The first appearance of the Tyrannosaurus rex is the ultimate workout for your sound system,

Lionsgate Blu-ray $10.99; DVD $11.99

We Evil Dead 2 fans are diehards, and we will plunk down the cash for every damn homevideo release of the movie. We will also feel a bit stupid and irresponsible about this. So make us Evil Dead 2 fans very happy by buying us the 25th anniversary edition of the film, saving us

G I V E A G I F T.

the embarrassment of laying out cash for the umpteenth time for Sam Raimi’s horror classic.

DIRECTOR HEAVEN

The Walking Dead: The Complete First Season (3-Disc Special Edition)

Pulp Fiction

Anchor Bay Blu-ray $27.49; DVD $22.49

Two releases of The Walking Dead came out this year.

The second release, which came out in October, is far superior, with many more special features.

As for the show itself, it just had its midseason finale on AMC, and, boy, did they make up for some slow episodes in the closing moments. It’s returning in February.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Magnolia Blu-ray $19.99; DVD $14.99

This makes my holiday list because it is one of the year’s best films. Really. Twisted and funny in the tradition of Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson horror films, it features two of the year’s funniest performances, from Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk as two misunderstood rednecks simply trying to have a peaceful time in their new vacation home. Those damn college kids!

Lionsgate/Miramax Blu-ray: $10.99

One of the year’s great Blu-ray releases, it contains an invaluable special feature: John Travolta sitting down for a new interview and expressing his heartfelt gratitude to director Quentin Tarantino for giving him the role of Vincent Vega. It’s great to see an actor being this honest and thankful. And the movie is awesome.

Taxi Driver Sony Blu-ray: $11.99

This has always been, and will always be, one of my favorite movies, featuring a Robert De Niro performance that is easily one of his best.

There’s not just a repackaging of old features for this one, either; Martin Scorsese’s violent meditation on isolationism gets some nice, new special features for this release.

The Tree of Life 20th Century Fox Blu-ray/DVD combo: $29.99

The year’s best film (so far), from director Terrence Malick, is polarizing. If you have film-lovers on your list who like

G E T A G I F T.

DAILY LUNCH SPECIALS Monday-Friday

PURCHA SE $100 WORTH OF GIF T CARDS. GE T A $20 GIF T CARD IN RE TURN.

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Available at all FRC Restaurants, w w w.foxrc.com or by calling 480.905.6920.

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a good challenge, get them this one, and see whether they love it or hate it. Brad Pitt and Jessica Chastain deliver two of the year’s best performances, and the editing is simply masterful. It’s not easy to make a comprehensive film about everything, but Malick somehow does it.

Coen Brothers Collection 20th Century Fox Blu-ray: $32.49

This is a screamingly good deal. You get Miller’s Crossing, Raising Arizona, Fargo and Blood Simple on Blu-ray for a shockingly low price.

This package here is a testament to how competitive studios are getting with their Blu-ray pricing. The whole format is now very affordable.

version with just the discs and a collector’s booklet for less than $40.

The Great Dictator Criterion Blu-ray: $22.79; DVD: $17.94

One of the most amazing and important films ever made. A must have for Chaplin fans—and film buffs in general.

Citizen Kane (70th Anniversary Ultimate Collector’s Edition) Warner Blu-ray: $47.49; DVD: $25.99

Do I really need to say why this one should be on any film-lover’s gift list?

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Sucker Punch Warner Blu-ray: $14.99; DVD: $9.49

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TechRnuloesl!ogy

BY SAXON BURNS, m mailbag@tucsonweekly.co

Among gadget/game gifts for 2011: a toothpaste squeezer, recording binoculars and the queen of England! his year, I predict many stockings will be stuffed with pepper spray, the hot item popularized by campus cops, “competitive” shoppers and teenagers who really want to have the last word at school.

You could go that route, but you’ve always thought of yourself as a special snowflake, someone who bestows gifts that are a little different, a little “gadgety” and maybe a little higher-tech.

You’ve got a distinctive, tapped-in image, strategically crafted through Twitter tweets and posts on F’book.

You deserve to give something better.

For the stereotypical video-game nerd: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Bethesda Softworks/Bethesda Game Studios, Rated: M) is the latest incarnation in the long-running and acclaimed RPG series. Pretty much everyone is raving about its open-ended and detailed world, fabulous sound design, thrilling battles with drag-

ons, yadda yadda yadda. Video gamers who get off on this sort of thing are sure to spend hundreds of hours exploring the make-believe, while losing contact with the world beyond their Xbox 360s, PlayStation 3s or PCs (it’s available on all three!); $59.99.

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For the 1 percent: Getting toothpaste out of the tube is so plebeian. Imagine Blake Carrington, patriarch of TVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dynasty, trying to squeeze the last of his Colgate Total Plus Whitening onto a diamond-encrusted toothbrush. It smacks of manual labor! The chromeplated Cedes Toothpaste Squeezer, extravagantly priced at $295, frees your giftee from the ruthless dominance of the toothpaste tube while at the same time demonstrating blithe indifference to the economic circumstances of the nation.

For those who argue that games can be art: The New Yorker recently ran a piece on ICO and Shadow of the Colossus, two iconic, cerebral games directed by Fumito Ueda and originally released for the Sony PlayStation 2 in 2001 and 2005, respectively. The original titles have been spruced up in a high-definition release called, fittingly enough, The ICO and Shadow of the Colossus Collection (SCEA/ Bluepoint Games, Rated: T) for the PlayStation 3. These are not button-mashing games: There are no goombas to stomp on or bodies spurting plumes of blood. What they provide is simpler, quieter and gentlerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but nonetheless completely engrossing; $39.99.

For hypochondriacs: The Nano-UV Disinfection Scanner ($59.99) looks like an outdated clamshell cell phone, but in reality, this little baby has the power to change someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worldâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; which, from TV, I learned is covered in fecal matter. To disinfect, hold it over an offending surface or item, such as a hotel bedspread, for 10 seconds. Give the gift of sterilization, of peace of mind, in the face of flesh-eating bacteria. This is the kind of â&#x20AC;&#x153;fun

and usefulâ&#x20AC;? thing my grandmother would have put in my stocking. It would give me great pleasure if you did the same for someone you love this holiday season, in her memory.

For condescending audiophiles: Crystal clear.

Crisp. Not at all muddy. Reviewers have consistently described the sound quality of the Audioengine A2 speakers ($199) in these terms, as if they were a mythical, virgin spring youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll want to tap when global warming turns life into Soylent Green. The performance of these unusually powerful desktop speakers has been favorably compared to offerings at twice the price.

For birdwatchers: This is a shout-out to the birders meeting for walks at Agua Caliente Park on Thursdays, as well as the participants in this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Arizona Christmas Bird Counts. (Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s count, by the way, is on Dec. 18, but they continue throughout the state into January.) Now you can film all the high-definition bird-watching porn you want, from your binocularsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and even in 3-D! The Sony DEV-3 ($1,399) and DEV-5 ($1,995) are so cutting-edge, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re liable to give paper cuts when held.

For Scrabble junkies: Panda Poet (Spry Fox, not rated) is sort of a combination of the aforementioned word game and Othello. The point is to spell high-scoring words while flipping squares to your color of panda.

Eventually, the individual pandas congeal into sleeping panda fatties that earn bonus points at the end of the game. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a free version accessible via most Web browsers, but the $2.99 premium edition features larger maps and more fun.

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GliZ_Xj\ ^`]k ZXi[j kf[Xp Xk GXjk`Z_\# =\Xjk# 9cl\]`e fi fec`e\ Xk nnn%klZjfefi`^`eXcj%Zfd $FDFLD 5HDO )RRG DQG &RFNWDLOV _ $UL]RQD ,QQ _ %OXHĂ&#x20AC;Q _ %RFD _ %UXVKĂ&#x20AC;UH %%4 &R _ %XVKL _ &DIp &DVLQR GHO 6RO 5HVWDXUDQWV _ &KDG¡V 6WHDNKRXVH 6DORRQ _ &XS &DIp _ 'DNRWD &DIp _ 'HOHFWDEOHV 5HVWDXUDQW DQG &DWHULQJ _ '2:172:1 .LWFKHQ &RFNWDLOV _ (FOHFWLF &DIH _ HOOH ZLQH ELVWUR (O 3DUDGRU _ (QRWHFD 3L]]HULD :LQH %DU _ )HDVW 5HVWDXUDQW _ )UDQNLHV 6RXWK 3KLOO\ &KHHVHVWHDNV +RDJLHV *KLQLV )UHQFK &DIIH _ *UHHN 7DYHUQD RQ 6ZDQ _ +DUYHVW 0RRQ &KLQHVH &XLVLQH _ -DQRV - %DU -RQDWKDQ¡V &RUN _ .LQJĂ&#x20AC;VKHU %DU *ULOO _ /D &RFLQD DW 2OG 7RZQ $UWLVDQ _ /D )XHQWH 5HVWDXUDQW /DV %UDVDV _ /H 5HQGH] 9RXV _ /RGJH RQ WKH 'HVHUW _ /RWXV *DUGHQ _ 0DJSLHV *RXUPHW 3L]]D 0DPD¡V +DZDLLDQ %DU % &XH _ 0DPD /RXLVD¡V _ 0D\QDUGV 0DUNHW DQG .LWFKHQ _ 0LJXHOV _ 1REOH +RSV 3DVFR .LWFKHQ DQG /RXQJH _ 3DVWLFKH _ 5HQHH¡V 2UJDQLF 2YHQ _ 5LFV &DIH _ 5LVN\ %XVLQHVV _ 5RFFR¡V /LWWOH &KLFDJR _ 7DYROLQR 5LVWRUDQWH ,WDOLDQR _ 7KH +RJ 3LW _ 7KH +XQJU\ )R[ _ 7RKRQR &KXO 7HD 5RRP _ 7XFVRQ 7DPDOH &RPSDQ\ _9 )LQH 7KDL 'LQLQJ _ 9HQLFH 5HVWDXUDQW 3L]]HULD _ 9HUR $PRUH 5HVWDXUDQWV _ =LYD]

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continued from g9 For Americans who insist on spelling color with a “U”: When the giftee is an Anglophile, what more can be given after your loved one has unwrapped a pair of the Pippa Middleton-style padded panties, meant to mimic the alluring dewdrop shape of her pert, young booty? The Kikkerland Solar Queen ($11.76 on Amazon) is a sun-powered, waving figurine of Queen Elizabeth II—who will be celebrating her diamond jubilee in 2012, God save her.

For aspiring Daleks: I wish the Doctor Who Ride-In Dalek ($299.99) came in an adult size.

I would love to take it to a drab office building (someplace without a lot of steps, as Daleks for the longest time were incapable of mounting them), then ride around threatening to “Exterminate!” employees until security arrived and/or I was arrested for trespassing. I imagine many people have similar dreams. Regardless, it’s still possible to live vicariously through your children or grandchildren.

For Google addicts: Chromebooks, strippeddown laptops originally developed by the pushers at Google, are here, starting at $299. If you know someone who’s a fan of Chrome, who

needs a computer for Web browsing only, or has given up on Microsoft productivity software in favor of online Google alternatives, this may be the laptop to buy. But beware: Offline, it’s basically an expensive paperweight.

For swashbucklers: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Nintendo, Rated: E10+), the latest installment in the series that will probably never die, lets Wii users wield their controllers like swords. It features a lot of the familiar dungeon-crawling and item-collection elements familiar to Zelda fans, along with attractive graphics and battles sure to produce giddy, tingly feelings. It’s more of the same, really, which isn’t always such a bad thing; $49.99.

For tech-loving gardeners: The homes of tech lovers can sometimes become cluttered with the power cables necessary for sucking up juice. On the other hand, the yards of gardeners are often cluttered with green things called plants that grow like Tamagotchi and sometimes smell pretty. Apparently, someone got the bright idea to bring the outdoors inside with the Grassy Lawn Charging Station, available from ThinkGeek.com. It’s actually more of a ChaCha-Cha-Chia charging station that powers your gadgets while they’re lovingly nestled in a cord-obscuring patch of fake grass; $24.99.

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SOUNDBITES CONTINUED from Page 39

TOP TEN

ALL DAY EVERY DAY SPECIALS:

Toxic Ranch Records’ top sales for the week ending Dec. 4, 2011

NEW YEAR’S GUIDE: LAST CHANCE! A quick reminder to all local promoters and venues: If you’re putting on a music-oriented event on New Year’s Eve, please send me your details if you’d like to be included in our annual New Year’s Eve Guide. The deadline to get information to me is noon on Monday, Dec. 12, and you can send it to musiced@tucsonweekly.com.

A SWEET NEW RELEASE Two local bands are holding a joint CD-release show this week.

Veteran heavy blooze rockers Love Mound will release the full-length The Noose, the Tree, and the Desert Sky (Hover Tank), which you can read about in this week’s Rhythm & Views (Page 47). And the relatively new local trio Sugar Stains will release its debut EP, Sweet Revenge (self-released).

Sugar Stains, which includes songwriter Amy Mendoza (vocals, guitar), Erica Rios (bass) and Amy McDaniel (drums), clearly graduated with honors from the tuff-girl school of rock. But even within these five songs, there’s enough variation to keep things interesting. “January 8th” comes charging out of the gate with a buzzsaw guitar riff in the timehonored poppy-punk tradition. It never really lets up, with Mendoza’s post-riot-grrrl vocals veering from snotty punk to downright pretty.

It’s a fine tone-setter for the rest of the EP. “Fingerprints” follows the “January 8th” template closely—minus the pretty parts—but not quite as successfully. “Blaze,” whose opening bass line owes a debt to Fugazi’s “Waiting Room,” is a real treat, all midtempo, galloping, not-quite-bouncy guitar, with a fine vocal performance from Mendoza, plus a sultry bridge.

It wouldn’t be nearly as successful if the rhythm section weren’t playing their hearts out.

“Ignorance” tosses a little surf-guitar into the

mix, while “Devolve” is the most straight-up punk-rock song on the EP. While it’s always great to see more women playing music on local stages, Sugar Stains aren’t a fine new addition to Tucson music because of their gender; they’re a fine new addition because they’re a fine new band, period.

Sugar Stains celebrate the release of Sweet Revenge by headlining a show at Plush, 340 E. Sixth St., on Saturday, Dec. 10. Snakes in Love kick off the night at 9:30 p.m., and Love Mound takes the middle slot. Cover is $5. For more info, head to plushtucson.com, or call 798-1298.

SHORT TAKES With the impending departure from Tucson of the group’s frontwoman, Jo Wilkinson and Grains of Sand will play a farewell concert at Suite 147 at Plaza Palomino, 2970 N. Swan Road, No. 147, at 7 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11.

Expect plenty of special guests including Mitzi Cowell, Sabra Faulk, Heather Hardy, Bobby Kimmel, Gary Mackender, Bill Ronstadt and Duncan Stitt. Tickets are $12 in advance, or $15 at the door; rhythmandroots.org.

Legendary L.A. roots-punk band X will arrive in Tucson this week as part of its Xmas Rock ’n’ Roll Revival tour. The band, whose current lineup features all four original members, will be joined by the gospel duo of Sean Wheeler and Zander Schloss, and the Black Tibetans at a 7 p.m. show on Saturday, Dec. 10, at the Fox Tucson Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. Tickets are $22 to $38, available at the venue box office or by calling 547-3040; foxtucsontheatre.org.

Listen up, fans of Weezer, Fountains of Wayne and their ilk: Springfield, Mo.-based indie-poppers Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, whose name only gets better with every passing year, return to Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St., for a show in support of this year’s sprawling odds ’n’ sods collection Tape Club (Polyvinyl). Opening the all-ages show at 7:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 12, will be The Electric Blankets and … music video? Tix are $8 in advance, or $10 on the day of the show; 622-8848 or hotelcongress.com/club.

1. Various Artists

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Luz de Vida: A Compilation to Benefit the Victims of the Tucson Tragedy (Fort Lowell)

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Cake and Drag Show benefitting TIHAN

9. The Outlaw Rebels The Outlaw Rebels (self-released)

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Recovery SUNDAYs

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$2.75 Bloody Marys, Screwdrivers $5 RED CUP REFILL $.50 2-7pm Burgers on the Grill at 3pm

Tom Rhodes of Last Call Girls

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$2.25 LAND SHARK BOTTLES TUE. 12/13

$3.25 BLUE MOON PINTS WED. 12/14

“Hump Day” WEDNESDAYS $3.50 Long Island Iced Teas All Day

ON THE BANDWAGON Jeffrey Lewis and others at Skrappy’s on Sunday, Dec. 11; Brian Setzer’s Rockabilly Riot at the Rialto Theatre on Monday, Dec. 12; The Wailers and Lee “Scratch” Perry (the only date when they’re performing together) at the Rialto Theatre tonight, Thursday, Dec. 8; Devil Doll, The El Camino Royales and Moonlight Howlers at Surly Wench Pub on Friday, Dec. 9; The Littlest Birds at Plush on Tuesday, Dec. 13; Toys for Tots II at The Rock on Saturday, Dec. 10; Bricktop, Slick 46, Texas Trash and the Hangovers and others at The Hut on Saturday, Dec. 10; Peach Kelli Pop and Lenguas Largas at La Cocina tonight, Thursday, Dec. 8; the Last Call Girls and The Maxwells at Boondocks Lounge on Saturday, Dec. 10.

Please note that the Cake show at the Rialto Theatre on Friday, Dec. 9, is sold out.

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In no particular order, the local acts doing the covering that night are Young Mothers, Faster Than Light, Shaun Harris, The Distortionists, Still Life Telescope, The Swigs, Muddy Bug, Early Black, Genevieve and the LPs, Jeremy Michael Cashman and The Monitors.

Doors open at 7 p.m., and please note that unlike at most club shows, the bands will actually be performing at their scheduled times, so please be prompt—or risk missing stuff.

Admission is a suggested donation of $8 for one night, $12 for two nights, or $15 for all three, with every penny going to TAMHA. For more information, including last-minute schedule updates (if necessary), head to greatcoveruptucson.com. For more info about TAMHA, go to tucsonartists.org. You can call Plush at 798-1298, or check out its website at plushtucson.com.

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CINEMA Fascinating characters make up for the weak premise of documentary ‘Revenge of the Electric Car’

Titans of Industry

TOP TEN Casa Video’s top rentals for the week ending Dec. 4, 2011

BY COLIN BOYD, cboyd@tucsonweekly.com ho Killed the Electric Car? asked its timely question in 2006. The documentary chronicled General Motors Corp.’s somewhat daring experiment with an electric vehicle in the 1990s and the car’s ultimate failure, even though the thousand or so who did drive a GM EV1 sang its praises.

You won’t find an EV1 on the road anymore; while some were given to museums, the majority were crushed, many at the GM proving grounds in Mesa. So why was this car too dangerous to have on the road? GM rebutted the film’s claims that oil companies were leveraging GM to ax the program, saying instead that the line just wasn’t profitable, and that’s probably closer to the truth than what is in the documentary. After all, it was only two years later that GM was back in the electriccar game, along with Nissan and Silicon Valley startup Tesla Motors—all of which meant that filmmaker Chris Paine had the story for a sequel.

Revenge of the Electric Car does not have the accusatory, almost-conspiratorial tone that the first movie occasionally struck.

Maybe time has calmed Paine’s anger, or maybe a mass-market electric car really wasn’t ready for prime time 10 years ago.

Then again, because Paine has access to executives of GM, Tesla and Nissan for Revenge, maybe he’s getting a more-complete story.

While the first film provided an interesting history lesson and made the cultural and environmental case for electrics, the sequel is almost all about the bottom line: Can large corporations like Nissan and General Motors actually afford to put electric vehicles on the road? And can Tesla really afford to lose millions of dollars a month waiting for consumers to spend six figures on its product?

The personalities featured here are larger than life: Tesla’s Elon Musk has been credited (both in this film and elsewhere) as an inspiration for Robert Downey Jr.’s portrayal of billionaire Tony Stark in the Iron Man movies.

He’s young, enterprising, brash, loaded and hates to be wrong. Bob Lutz is nearing the end of his career and back for a third tour of duty at GM after stints at BMW, Ford and elsewhere. He’s the anti-Elon Musk, a car guy through and through. Carlos Ghosn is the man credited with saving Nissan in the late 1990s, and he’s so popular in Japan that his life story has been turned into a comic book.

Ghosn is seen in the documentary trying to outflank both Tesla and GM by offering the Nissan Leaf, a mass-produced, affordable zero-emissions car.

W

1. Super 8 Paramount

2. Our Idiot Brother Weinstein

3. 30 Minutes or Less Columbia

4. Friends With Benefits Screen Gems

5. The Change-Up Universal

6. Conan the Barbarian Lionsgate

7. Larry Crowne Universal

8. Another Earth Fox Searchlight

9. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Magnolia

10. The Devil’s Double Lionsgate

Chris Paine’s Revenge of the Electric Car. And those are really the three most-likely scenarios for success in that product line: Go all in (Nissan), offer an appetizer (GM) or go outside the norm (Tesla). Paine spends some time with a tinkerer in Los Angeles who says it’s cheaper to retrofit existing cars with electric technology, but it’s certainly not as practical for the everyday consumer.

Paine’s access to these titans of industry extends over several years. Lutz was notoriously against electric vehicles just years before he endorsed GM’s move to pursue the Chevrolet Volt. And he was its most-loyal supporter during development, which happened at the same time the federal government was giving GM a massive bailout. We see a lot of that play out while Lutz meets with other furrowed-brow GM executives.

Ghosn pushed ahead in a big way, committing billions of dollars in a down economy to the Leaf, and Musk faced the same market setbacks as everyone else, almost from the moment he drove the first Tesla Roadster at its unveiling. As a new company, there were other headaches, too.

What’s missing throughout is—appropriate for a movie about the car industry—a finish line. For a film with a title like Revenge of the

Revenge of the Electric Car Rated PG-13

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake in Friends With Benefits.

Directed by Chris Paine Area23a, 90 minutes Opens Friday, Dec. 9, at the Loft Cinema (795-7777).

Electric Car, it would be nice if there was some.

In fact, it’s still too early to tell what the marketplace will do with electrics. About 15,000 Leafs have been sold, and that’s more than double what the Tesla Roadster and the Volt have done combined. Hard to call that vengeance.

Ultimately, it appears that Chris Paine’s rather soft point is that you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. Of course, the electric car is nothing new. Porsche developed one more than 100 years ago. So the fact that electric cars may finally develop a foothold isn’t exactly noteworthy. Not yet.

Even if it is ultimately fairly empty, Revenge of the Electric Car is still entertaining. Paine fills it with interesting characters who are worth screen time. More than his premise, as it turns out.

DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

TuCsONWEEKLY

31

FILM TIMES Film times reflect the most current listings available as of Tuesday evening, with screenings beginning on Friday for most opening titles. As schedules at individual theaters frequently change post-press, we recommend calling ahead to avoid any inconvenience.

AMC Loews Foothills 15 7401 N. La Cholla Blvd.

888-262-4386.

Arthur Christmas (PG) Thu 11:35, 5, 11; Fri-Sun 10, 12:25, 7:35; MonWed 12:25, 7:35 Arthur Christmas 3D (PG) Thu 12:55, 3:15, 5:35, 7:55; Fri-Wed 2:55, 5:15, 9:55 The Descendants (R) Thu-Wed 11, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9:55 Happy Feet Two (PG) Thu 1:45, 6:40; Fri-Sun 10:55, 4:25, 9:15; MonWed 4:25, 9:15 Happy Feet Two 3D (PG) ends Thu 4:10, 9:15 Happy Feet Two: An IMAX 3D Experience (PG) ThuWed 11:50, 2:30, 5:05, 7:40, 10:05 Hugo (PG) Thu 2:05, 8; Fri-Wed 11:30, 2:15, 5, 7:45, 10:30 Hugo 3D (PG) Thu 1:20, 4:15, 7, 9:50; Fri-Sun 10:15, 1:05, 4, 6:45, 9:30; Mon-Wed 1:05, 4, 6:45, 9:30 Immortals (R) ends Thu 11:40, 2:40 Immortals 3D (R) Thu 5:10, 7:45, 10:20; FriSun 10, 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8, 10:35; Mon-Wed 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8, 10:35 J. Edgar (R) Thu 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 10:15; FriSun 10:10, 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 10:15; Mon-Wed 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 10:15 Jack and Jill (PG) Thu 11:05, 1:15, 3:30, 5:40, 7:55; Fri-Wed 11:05, 1:15, 3:30, 5:40, 7:55, 10:20 The Muppets (PG) Thu 11:45, 12:45, 2:15, 3:20, 4:55, 5:55, 7:30, 8:30, 10, 11; Fri-Wed 11:45, 2:25, 4:55, 7:30, 10 New Year’s Eve (PG-13) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Sun 10:20, 11:55, 1:20, 2:45, 4:20, 5:25, 7:20, 8:15, 10:05, 11; MonWed 11:55, 1:20, 2:45, 4:20, 5:25, 7:20, 8:15, 10:05, 11 Puss in Boots (PG) Thu 11:15, 1:30, 5:50, 10:30; Fri-Wed 1:55, 7:05 Puss in Boots 3D (PG) ends Thu 3:40, 8 The Sitter (R) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Sun 10:30, 12:50, 3:10, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10; Mon-Wed 12:50, 3:10, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10 Tower Heist (PG-13) Thu 12:30, 2:55, 5:20, 7:50; Fri-Wed 11:20, 2, 4:45, 7:10, 9:35 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (PG-13) Thu 11, 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10, 11; Fri-Sun 10:45, 1:25, 4:05, 7,

32 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

9:45; Mon-Wed 1:25, 4:05, 7, 9:45

Century El Con 20 3601 E. Broadway Blvd.

800-326-3264, ext. 902.

Moneyball / The Ides of March double feature (PG-13/R) Thu 12:10, 2:40, 4:40, 7:10 Arthur Christmas (PG) Thu 12:45, 3:10, 5:35, 8, 10:30; Fri-Wed 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35, 10:05 Arthur Christmas 3D (PG) ends Thu 11:40, 2:15, 4:40 The Descendants (R) ThuWed 11:20, 12:40, 2:05, 3:25, 4:45, 6:15, 7:35, 9, 10:30 Happy Feet Two (PG) Thu 12:55, 3:30, 5:55, 8:20, 10:45; Fri-Wed 11:30, 1:55, 4:25, 6:55, 9:20 Happy Feet Two 3D (PG) ends Thu 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7 Hugo (PG) Thu 11:30, 5:30; Fri-Wed 2, 7:45 Hugo 3D (PG) Thu 1, 2:30, 4, 7, 8:45; Fri-Wed 12:50, 3:55, 7, 10 Immortals 3D (R) Thu 12:20, 3:15, 7:40, 10:20; Fri-Wed 11:40, 2:20, 5:05, 7:45, 10:25 J. Edgar (R) Thu 12:40, 3:50, 7:05, 10:25; FriWed 12:20, 7:15 Jack and Jill (PG) Thu 12:10, 2:35, 5:10, 7:30, 9:55; Fri-Wed 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:25, 9:50 Like Crazy (PG-13) FriWed 12:10, 2:40, 5:15, 7:40, 10 The Metropolitan Opera: Faust—Live (Not Rated) Sat 10:55 Moneyball (PG-13) ends Thu 9:10 The Muppets (PG) Thu-Fri 11:25, 1:05, 2:10, 3:45, 4:50, 6:25, 7:30, 9:05, 10:10; Sat 11:25, 2:10, 4:50, 6:25, 7:30, 9:05, 10:10; Sun-Mon 11:25, 1:05, 2:10, 3:45, 4:50, 6:25, 7:30, 9:05, 10:10; Tue 11:25, 1:05, 2:10, 3:45, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10; Wed 11:25, 1:05, 2:10, 3:45, 4:50, 6:25, 7:30, 9:05, 10:10 My Week With Marilyn (R) Thu-Wed 12, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 10:05 New Year’s Eve (PG-13) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Wed 11:15, 12:10, 1:05, 2, 2:55, 3:50, 4:45, 5:40, 6:35, 7:30, 8:25, 9:20, 10:15 NYC Ballet Presents George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker Live (Not Rated) Tue 7:30 Puss in Boots (PG) Thu 12:25, 2:40, 4:55, 7:15, 9:30; Fri-Wed 11:30, 5:10, 10:40 The Sitter (R) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Wed 11:45, 12:50, 1:55, 3, 4:05, 5:10, 6:15, 7:20, 8:25, 9:30, 10:40 The Skin I Live In (R) Thu 11:25, 2:15, 5:05, 7:55, 10:40; Fri-Wed 3:40, 10:30 Tower Heist (PG-13) ThuWed 12:20, 2:55, 5:30, 8:05, 10:35 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (PG-13) Thu 11:20, 1:30, 2:05, 4:25, 6:15, 7:20,

9:10, 10:15, 10:45; Fri-Wed 11:20, 2:05, 5, 7:55, 10:45 A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (R) ends Thu 9:50

Century Gateway 12 770 N. Kolb Road.

800-326-3264, ext. 962.

Call for Fri-Wed film times 50/50 (R) Thu 12:10, 2:35, 4:55, 7:20 Abduction (PG-13) Thu 12:15, 2:55, 5:25, 7:55 Contagion (PG-13) Thu 12:05, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40 Cowboys and Aliens (PG13) Thu 12:55, 3:40, 7:25 Dolphin Tale (PG) Thu 12:50, 7:05 Dolphin Tale 3D (PG) Thu 3:55 Drive (R) Thu 12:25, 2:50, 5:15, 7:45 Footloose (PG-13) opens Fri The Help (PG-13) Thu 12:30, 3:50, 7:10 I Don’t Know How She Does It (PG-13) ends Thu 1, 5:35 In Time (PG-13) Thu 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30 Johnny English Reborn (PG) Thu 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35 Paranormal Activity 3 (R) opens Fri The Smurfs (PG) Thu 11:55, 2:20, 4:45, 7:15 The Thing (R) ends Thu 3:10, 7:50 The Three Musketeers (PG-13) Thu 12:40, 7 The Three Musketeers 3D (PG-13) Thu 3:45

Century Park Place 20 5870 E. Broadway Blvd.

800-326-3264, ext. 903.

Moneyball / The Ides of March double feature (PG-13/R) Thu 11:25, 2:15, 4:35, 7:25 Arthur Christmas (PG) Thu 11:30, 2, 4:25, 7, 9:30; Fri-Wed 11:20, 1:50, 4:25, 6:55, 9:25 Arthur Christmas 3D (PG) ends Thu 12:45, 3:20, 5:50, 8:20 The Descendants (R) Thu 11, 1:45, 4:50, 7:35, 10:25; Fri-Wed 11, 1:40, 4:35, 7:35, 10:30 The Greatest Miracle 3D (Not Rated) Fri-Wed 11:05, 1:10, 3:15, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30 Happy Feet Two (PG) Thu 11:40, 2:20, 5, 7:40, 10:10; Fri-Wed 11:05, 1:45, 4:20, 6:45, 9:20 Happy Feet Two 3D (PG) ends Thu 1, 6:35 Hugo (PG) Thu 12:15, 3:15, 6:15, 9:15; Fri-Wed 11:35, 2:35, 5:35, 8:35 Hugo 3D (PG) Thu 11:15, 1:15, 2:10, 4:15, 5:15, 7:15, 8:15, 10:15; FriWed 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05 Immortals (R) Thu 11:25, 2:05, 4:45, 7:45, 10:30; Fri-Wed 11:30, 2:20, 5:05, 7:50, 10:35 Immortals 3D (R) ends Thu 3:25, 9:05 J. Edgar (R) Thu 12:20, 3:35, 6:50, 10:05; FriWed 7:10, 10:15 Jack and Jill (PG) Thu 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05,

9:35; Fri-Wed 12:10, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 10:25 The Metropolitan Opera: Faust—Live (Not Rated) Sat 10:55 Moneyball (PG-13) ends Thu 9:45 The Muppets (PG) Thu 11:10, 12, 12:50, 1:55, 2:40, 3:30, 4:30, 5:20, 6:15, 7:10, 8, 8:55, 9:50; Fri-Wed 11:10, 12:35, 1:55, 3:25, 4:40, 7:20, 9:55 New Year’s Eve (PG-13) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Wed 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 NYC Ballet Presents George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker Live (Not Rated) Tue 7:30 Puss in Boots (PG) Thu 12:05, 4:55, 9:40; FriWed 11:40, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 Puss in Boots 3D (PG) ends Thu 2:30, 7:20 Real Steel (PG-13) ends Thu 10:35 The Sitter (R) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Wed 11:50, 12:55, 2:10, 3:20, 4:30, 5:40, 6:50, 7:55, 9:10, 10:20 Tower Heist (PG-13) Thu 11:20, 2, 4:45, 7:20, 10; Fri-Wed 11:25, 2:05, 4:45, 7:30, 10:10 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (PG-13) Thu 11, 11:55, 12:55, 1:50, 2:45, 3:40, 4:40, 5:35, 6:30, 7:30, 8:25, 9:20, 10:20; Fri 11:15, 12:15, 1:15, 2:15, 3:10, 4:15, 5:15, 6:15, 7:15, 8:15, 9:15, 10:15; Sat 11:15, 1:15, 2:15, 4:15, 5:15, 6:15, 7:15, 8:15, 9:15, 10:15; Sun-Mon 11:15, 12:15, 1:15, 2:15, 3:10, 4:15, 5:15, 6:15, 7:15, 8:15, 9:15, 10:15; Tue 11:15, 12:15, 1:15, 2:15, 3:10, 4:15, 5:15, 7:15, 8:15, 10:15; Wed 11:15, 12:15, 1:15, 2:15, 3:10, 4:15, 5:15, 6:15, 7:15, 8:15, 9:15, 10:15

Century Theatres at the Oro Valley Marketplace 12155 N. Oracle Road.

800-326-3264, ext. 899.

Call for Sun-Wed film times Moneyball / The Ides of March double feature (PG-13/R) Thu 12:15, 2:55, 5:05, 7:45 Arthur Christmas (PG) Thu-Fri 2:10, 7:20; Sat 11:35, 2:10, 4:50, 7:20 Arthur Christmas 3D (PG) Thu 11:35, 4:50, 9:55; Fri 11:35, 4:50, 9:50; Sat 9:50 The Descendants (R) FriWed 10:55, 1:45, 4:35, 7:25, 10:10 Happy Feet Two (PG) Thu 2:05, 7:25; Fri-Sat 11:25, 2:05, 4:45 Happy Feet Two 3D (PG) ends Thu 11:25, 4:45, 10:05 Hugo (PG) Thu 7:35; FriSat 10:40, 1:35, 4:40, 10:30 Hugo 3D (PG) Thu 10:30, 1:35, 4:40, 10:30; FriSat 7:35 Immortals 3D (R) Thu 11:30, 2:15, 5, 7:40,

10:15; Fri-Sat 11:30, 2:15, 5, 7:40, 10:20 J. Edgar (R) Thu 12:50, 4, 7:10, 10:25; Fri-Sat 7:10, 10:25 The Metropolitan Opera: Faust—Live (Not Rated) Sat 10:55 Midnight in Paris (PG-13) Thu 11:20, 1:55, 4:25, 6:55, 9:25; Fri-Sat 6:55, 9:25 Moneyball (PG-13) ends Thu 9:50 The Muppets (PG) Thu 10:50, 12:20, 1:30, 3, 4:10, 5:40, 7, 8:20, 9:45; Fri 10:50, 12:20, 1:30, 3, 4:10, 7, 9:45; Sat 10:50, 1:30, 4:10, 7, 9:45 New Year’s Eve (PG-13) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Sat 10:35, 12, 1:25, 2:50, 4:15, 5:40, 7:05, 8:30, 9:55 NYC Ballet Presents George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker Live (Not Rated) Tue 7:30 Puss in Boots (PG) ends Thu 12, 2:25, 4:55, 7:10, 9:35 The Sitter (R) Fri 12:01 a.m.; Fri-Sat 12:45, 3:05, 5:25, 7:45, 10:05 Tower Heist (PG-13) Thu 11:05, 1:45, 4:20, 7:15, 10; Fri-Sat 11:05, 1:40, 4:20, 7:15, 10 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (PG-13) Thu 10:35, 1:25, 4:30, 7:30, 10:20; FriSat 10:30, 1:20, 4:30, 7:30, 10:15

Cinema La Placita La Placita Village, Broadway Boulevard and Church Avenue 326-5282.

A Christmas Story (PG) Sat 6

Crossroads 6 Grand Cinemas 4811 E. Grant Road.

327-7067.

Call for Fri-Wed film times 50/50 (R) Thu 3:20, 7:45, 10 Contagion (PG-13) Thu 5, 9:30 Crazy, Stupid, Love. (PG13) Thu 9:40 Dolphin Tale (PG) Thu 11:10, 1:45, 4:20 Drive (R) Thu 12:10, 2:35, 7:20, 9:50 The Help (PG-13) Thu 12:20, 3:30, 6:35 In Time (PG-13) Thu 11:45, 4:45, 7:15, 9:55 Midnight in Paris (PG-13) Thu 11, 5:35 Sarah’s Key (PG-13) Thu 1:05 The Three Musketeers (PG-13) Thu 2:15, 6:55

Fox Tucson Theatre 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515.

No films this week

Gallagher Theater UA Student Union, 1303 E. University Blvd.

626-0370.

No films this week

Harkins Tucson Spectrum 18 5455 S. Calle Santa Cruz.

806-4275.

Arthur Christmas (PG) Thu 11:30, 2:10, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45; Fri-Sat 11:45, 2:15, 4:50, 7:40, 10:25; Sun-Wed 11:45, 2:15, 4:50, 7:40, 10:15 Arthur Christmas 3D (PG) Thu 1:10, 3:50, 6:20, 9:20; Fri-Sat 10:45, 1:15, 3:50, 6:40, 9:25; Sun 10:45, 1:15, 3:50, 6:40, 9:15; Mon-Wed 1:15, 3:50, 6:40, 9:15 The Descendants (R) FriSat 10:20, 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 10:15; Sun 10:20, 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 10:05; Mon-Wed 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 10:05 Happy Feet Two (PG) Thu 11:40, 1:20, 2:20, 4:10, 5:10, 6:50, 9:30; Fri 11, 1:40, 4:15, 6:50, 9:50; Sat-Sun 11:05, 1:40, 4:15, 6:50, 9:50; Mon-Wed 11, 1:40, 4:15, 6:50, 9:50 Happy Feet Two 3D (PG) ends Thu 11:10, 1:50, 4:40, 7:30 Hugo (PG) Thu 1:15, 4:30, 7:25, 10:20; FriSat 9:45, 12:50, 4, 7:15, 10:40; Sun 9:45, 12:50, 4, 7:15, 10:10; Mon-Wed 12:50, 4, 7:15, 10:10 Hugo 3D (PG) Thu 12:15, 3:30, 6:40, 9:40; Fri-Sat 11:50, 3, 6:15, 9:40; Sun-Wed 11:50, 3, 6:15, 9:25 The Ides of March (R) ends Thu 12:20, 6:30 Immortals (R) Thu 11:45, 2:30, 5:05, 7:40, 10:30; Fri-Sat 11:20, 2:10, 5, 7:50, 10:45; Sun-Wed 11:20, 2:10, 5, 7:50, 10:35 J. Edgar (R) Thu 11:20, 2:50, 6:05, 9:25; Fri 11:15, 2:40, 6:05, 9:15; Sat 2:40, 6:05, 9:15; Sun 2:40, 6:05, 9:05; Mon-Wed 11:15, 2:40, 6:05, 9:05 Jack and Jill (PG) Thu 12:10, 2:40, 5:15, 7:50, 10:10; Fri-Sat 9:55, 12:20, 2:50, 5:30, 8:10, 10:50; Sun 9:55, 12:20, 2:50, 5:30, 8:10, 10:40; Mon-Wed 12:20, 2:50, 5:30, 8:10, 10:40 Moneyball (PG-13) ends Thu 3:10, 9 The Muppets (PG) Thu 11, 12:30, 1:35, 3:20, 4:20, 6:10, 7:10, 9:10; Fri-Sat 10, 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45; Sun 10, 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:40; Mon-Wed 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:40 New Year’s Eve (PG-13) Fri-Sat 9:40, 10:30, 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:30, 7:30, 9:30, 10:30; Sun 9:40, 10:30, 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:30, 7:30, 9:30, 10:25; MonWed 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:30, 7:30, 9:30, 10:25 Puss in Boots (PG) Thu 11:15, 1:45, 4:05, 6:45, 9:05; Fri-Sun 10:50, 1:05, 3:40, 6:20, 9; Mon-Wed 1:05, 3:40, 6:20, 9 Santa’s Cool Holiday Film Festival (Not Rated) SatSun 11 a.m.

The Sitter (R) Fri-Sun 9:50, 10:40, 12, 1, 2:20,

3:20, 4:40, 5:40, 7, 8, 9:20, 10:20; Mon-Wed 12, 1, 2:20, 3:20, 4:40, 5:40, 7, 8, 9:20, 10:20 Tower Heist (PG-13) Thu 1:40, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50; Fri-Sat 11:10, 2, 5:10, 7:45, 10:35; Sun-Wed 11:10, 2, 5:10, 7:45, 10:30 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (PG-13) Thu 11:05, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6:15, 7, 7:45, 8:30, 9:15, 10; FriSat 10:10, 12:10, 1:10, 3:10, 4:10, 6:10, 7:10, 9:10, 10:10; Sun 10:10, 12:10, 1:10, 3:10, 4:10, 6:10, 7:10, 9:10, 10; Mon-Wed 12:10, 1:10, 3:10, 4:10, 6:10, 7:10, 9:10, 10 A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (R) ends Thu 10:05

The Loft Cinema 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.

795-7777.

Call 795-0844 to check handicap accessibility Battle for Brooklyn (Not Rated) Tue 7:30 Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey (PG) Thu 11:45, 5, 7 Black Christmas (R) FriSat 10 Eames: The Architect and the Painter (Not Rated) Thu 7:30 House of Boys (Not Rated) Thu 9 Margin Call (R) Thu 2:30; Fri 11:15, 4:30; Sat-Sun 11:45, 5; Mon-Tue 11:45, 10; Wed 11:45, 4:30, 10 Melancholia (R) Thu 1:30, 10; Fri 11:15, 4:30, 10; Sat 2, 7:15, 10; Sun 2, 7:15; Mon-Tue 2, 7:15, 10; Wed 2, 10 Mozart’s Sister (Not Rated) Fri 1:45, 7:30; Sat-Sun 2:15, 7:30; MonTue 2:15, 5; Wed 2:15, 7:30 Revenge of the Electric Car (PG-13) Fri 2:15, 7; Sat-Wed 11:45, 5 Take Shelter (R) Thu 4:30 Time Walker (PG) Mon 8 Video Art Screening (Not Rated) Thu 12 What’s Up Docs? Short Documentaries From UA Film Students (Not Rated) Wed 7

Oracle View 4690 N. Oracle Road.

292-2430.

Call for Fri-Wed film times 30 Minutes or Less (R) Thu 9:20 Abduction (PG-13) Thu 12:30, 2:45, 7:15, 9:40 Cars 2 (G) Thu 11:50, 2:25 Contagion (PG-13) Thu 4:50, 7:10, 9:30 Cowboys and Aliens (PG13) Thu 4:45, 9:45 Dolphin Tale (PG) Thu 11:35, 2, 4:25, 6:50, 9:15 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (PG-13) Thu 1:55 In Time (PG-13) Thu 12:20, 2:40, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50 Johnny English Reborn (PG) Thu 5 Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) Thu 12:10, 2:30, 7:20 The Smurfs (PG) Thu 11:40, 4:40, 7

The Screening Room 127 E. Congress St. 882-0204.

Call for films and times

Tower Theatres at Arizona Pavilions 8031 N. Business Park Drive. 579-0500.

Call for Fri-Wed film times Arthur Christmas (PG) Thu 11:45, 2, 4:15, 6:30 Arthur Christmas 3D (PG) Thu 11, 3:30, 5:45 Happy Feet Two (PG) Thu 11:20, 1:15, 4:30 Happy Feet Two 3D (PG) Thu 7:55 Immortals (R) Thu 11:05, 1:35, 3:55, 6:15, 8:35 J. Edgar (R) Thu 1:30, 6:45 Jack and Jill (PG) Thu 11:55, 1:55, 4, 6, 8 Midnight in Paris (PG-13) Thu 11:40, 1:50, 4:05, 6:10, 8:20 The Muppets (PG) Thu 11, 12, 1:25, 2:25, 3:50, 4:50, 6:20, 7:15, 8:40 Puss in Boots (PG) Thu 11:30, 1:40, 3:40, 5:40, 7:40 Tower Heist (PG-13) Thu 11:05, 1:20, 3:45, 6:05, 8:25 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (PG-13) Thu 11:35, 12:45, 2:10, 3:20, 4:45, 5:55, 7:20, 8:30

Find more film reviews at www.tucsonweekly.com

FILM CLIPS

CINEMA

Reviews by Jacquie Allen, Colin Boyd and Bob Grimm.

Add watching these 15 flicks to your holiday to-do list

Bless These Films!

BY BOB GRIMM, bgrimm@tucsonweekly.com t’s holiday time, and that means it’s time to watch holiday movies while drinking eggnog spiked with Tanqueray. (Actually, that’s a terrible beverage combo. Don’t do it.)

Here’s a selection of holiday films and specials—some new, and some very old—that I suggest you watch in the days before Santa shows up, rummages through your fridge, and kicks over your favorite vase. (Santa can be a real ass by the time he hits the United States, as he’s all hopped up on cookies and spoiled milk.)

1. A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! (2008): This is my new favorite holiday special, featuring Colbert trapped in a cabin by a big bear, unable to make it to the studio where Elvis Costello awaits to tape a Christmas special. It features Willie Nelson getting busted in a mini-Nativity scene for trying to give the baby Jesus weed.

2. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964): This special has never been anything short of badass. For guaranteed yuletide entertainment cheer, nothing touches it.

3. Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas (1977): When I first saw this in the ’80s, this Jim Henson product struck me as offbeat and delightful. It still does. If you haven’t seen this one yet, get on it.

4. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011): If it’s still in theaters, get yourselves out to see it. Otherwise, slot the video into your home-entertainment plans for the next holiday season.

5. Die Hard/Die Hard 2 (1988, 1990): Hey, it’s Christmastime during both of these films, so that makes them the perfect movies for guys out there who are being forced to watch stuff like Love Actually and The Holiday by girlfriends/wives. Use the violent exploits of John McClane (Bruce Willis) as a bargaining chip!

6. Elf (2003): It makes me want to chug a 2-liter bottle of Coke every time I see it.

7. Star Wars Holiday Special (1978): You can’t buy it at your local Best Buy, but you can see segments of it on YouTube. One of the worst pieces of entertainment ever inflicted on the public—but you must watch anyway.

8. A Christmas Carol (various): There are so many versions of this classic to choose from, from the delightful Alastair Sim version, to the Albert Finney musical, to Bill Murray’s Scrooged, to Jim Carrey’s awesome CGI take.

However, I have to go with the Mr. Magoo version. When the thieves get his sheets and sing, “La, la, la, la, la, la … we’re just blankety blank blank … no good!” I’m just ready to

I

NEWLY REVIEWED: MOZART’S SISTER

It’s tough to be compared to a classic like Amadeus in almost any respect—and that’s not all that plagues Mozart’s Sister. It seems the prodigious musician had a gifted older sister, although she never reached the heights of her baby brother. The reason we never heard of Nannerl Mozart, ostensibly, was that women could not have careers or, you know, earn respect. That theme is not unfamiliar, so outside of the revelation that Mozart had a talented sister, the film doesn’t break a lot of new ground.

There’s a little nepotism on display, too: Director René Féret casts his daughter Marie as Nannerl, and his daughter Lisa as her best friend. Neither offers a lot of depth. But if you like the era and are intrigued by the setup, the film is great to look at. Boyd

CONTINUING: ARTHUR CHRISTMAS

There have been so many Christmas movies over the years that it’s worth taking note of a good one. From Aardman, the Wallace and Gromit people, comes Arthur Christmas, about the son of Santa Claus who, after spotting one present left undelivered, embarks on a worldwide journey to make sure it reaches its rightful home. What good is the “nice” list, after all, if the North Pole is going to muck it up? Deliciously served with snarky British sensibilities, Arthur Christmas is surprisingly sharp for adults and visually enormous and active for kids. The voice cast is top-notch, featuring James McAvoy as the title character, Jim Broadbent as the current yet tiring Santa, and Bill Nighy as the long-retired and feisty Grandsanta, who proudly proclaims he’s 136 years old. This is a tremendous amount of fun, even if you don’t like Christmas movies—or Christmas, for that matter. Boyd THE DESCENDANTS

A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! (2008) hang my stocking.

9. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010): A great movie in which Santas are evil humanoid animals that need to be caged and trained for gift-giving.

10. Life of Brian (1979): I always get a Christmas vibe during the awesome Three Wise Men prologue of this Monty Python film. John Cleese taking his Christmas offering back from Terry Jones and shoving his deplorable mother character to the floor is a precious moment.

11. Bad Santa (2003): Billy Bob Thornton used to be so damned cool, and now he’s such a douche. Still, his douche behavior cannot take away from this foul holiday classic.

12. Trading Places (1983): When I think of Christmas, I think of a drunken Dan Aykroyd, on a city bus, dressed in a dirty Santa suit, trying to eat through his sloppy fake beard—and then getting pissed on by a dog in the rain.

13. How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

(1966): Not the Jim Carrey version, but the original animated classic. When the Grinch’s heart grows, so does holiday anticipation.

14. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946): There will never be a better Christmas Eve movie—never!

15. A Christmas Story (1983): Hey, it runs on TV all day on Christmas, and it rules.

“Sonsa bitches … Bumpasses!”

We gravitate to what’s new and different, so you’ll read a lot about a star in the making named Shailene Woodley in The Descendants. But make no mistake: This is in almost every way George Clooney’s film. Directed by Alexander Payne (Sideways), The Descendants delves into forgiveness across generations. Woodley plays Clooney’s hellion daughter, but as a man trying to cope with pulling the plug on his wife and dealing with the impending loss of his family’s ancestral land in Kauai, Clooney once again delivers one of those patented leadingman performances that few actors dare try anymore.

He isn’t a recovering addict; he isn’t disabled; and he’s not world-famous. He doesn’t even have George Clooney’s charisma. He’s just a guy figuring out how to take the next step, even though he just wants to take a couple of steps back. Boyd HAPPY FEET TWO

Plenty of animated family films feature chaos, but few are, in and of themselves, chaotic. Well, Happy Feet Two is a cartoon in a blender. The central story amounts to not much more than a tribe of penguins trapped in a hole, and the tangents are bizarre and totally pointless. There’s a puffin (the voice of Hank Azaria) who journeys to the South Pole and masquerades as a penguin who can fly, because that’s what we needed in a sequel. There are two krill (Brad Pitt and Matt Damon) who break away from their swarm in the interest of existential philosophy … or something. And there is the continued misconception that Robin Williams is funny. Happy Feet Two delivers very few laughs, some odd song choices—including a baby penguin aria—and the obligatory global-warming warning. Now you’ve been warned about the rest of it. Boyd

drawn-out, lumbering failure. It’s one of the movie year’s hugest disappointments. Most of the blame goes to Eastwood, who utilizes droning voiceovers and a washed-out visual approach that bores. The subject matter calls for something epic, but Eastwood’s dreary choices make the film uncomfortably intimate and small. Eastwood shot this film quickly on a modest budget, and it shows. The normally reliable DiCaprio is miscast. He’s all wrong for a part that requires him to age almost 50 years, and the voice he employs, especially during the ponderous narration, sounds as if he is attempting his best Darth Vader impersonation. Grimm THE MUPPETS

Co-writer and actor Jason Segel, with help from director James Bobin, reboots the Muppets franchise with great success. Segel, Bobin and co-writer Nicholas Stoller have gone back to the Muppets’ roots, drawing energy from the 1970s TV show. Segel plays Gary, a happy-go-lucky guy planning a trip to Los Angeles, where he will ask his girlfriend, Mary (Amy Adams), to marry him. He also plans to bring along his beloved brother, Walter … who is a Muppet. Walter has never met the likes of Kermit, Miss Piggy or Fozzie, but he idolizes them and hopes to meet them at Muppet Studios. They arrive—only to find the studios deserted. They seek out the Muppets, get them back together, and put on a show to save the studios from an evil oil baron (Chris Cooper). There’s fun music and good Muppet humor—and great to see Kermit plucking his banjo again. Grimm MY WEEK WITH MARILYN

No matter how often the word “icon” is thrown around, there have been few true icons—people whose fame actually shifts the world around it. One true icon is Marilyn Monroe. In My Week With Marilyn, Michelle Williams does not overly vamp or play into that iconography. She creates the Monroe underneath—a selfconscious, self-pitying child. That’s largely accurate, and since vulnerability is one characteristic Williams usually brings to her roles, it makes her performance here the one for which she’ll be remembered. The film chronicles the production of The Prince and the Showgirl, which Monroe made with an increasingly exasperated Laurence Olivier (a scene-stealing Kenneth Branagh). Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne) is the assistant assigned to chaperone the starlet, and the action is seen through his eyes. Williams’ performance stands as one of the best all year. Boyd PUSS IN BOOTS

In this prequel to the Shrek films, Puss (the voice of Antonio Banderas) is out to clear his name after accidentally helping old friend Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianakis) with a crime in their hometown. Humpty and Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek) come to Puss with an idea that can help him; however, everything is not quite as it seems. Filled to the brim with animated kitties, this movie may just be the most-adorable damn thing ever. The original idea was for this to be a directto-DVD release, and the story feels a bit rushed, but when there are tons of cute animals and some really great adult-themed jokes, who cares? It’s extremely entertaining and better than most of the crap being released today, animated or otherwise. Allen THE SKIN I LIVE IN

It takes a wild, sharp left turn halfway through, but Pedro Almodóvar’s The Skin I Live In is one of his more complete and entertaining oddities in a long time. Per usual, the legendary Spanish filmmaker takes a unique look at sexuality, this time through a stylish thriller involving a surgeon (Antonio Banderas) who creates a synthetic skin for one of his patients. But why does she suddenly look so much like the surgeon’s late wife, and why is she being kept as something of a prisoner? Just who is this woman? The actress portraying the mystery patient is Elena Ayana, and even though Banderas is strong in his long-overdue reunion with Almodóvar, she is the glue (or maybe the sutures) that holds together The Skin I Live In. Boyd

HUGO

Director Martin Scorsese has a field day with 3-D in this delightful film that, while touted as his first children’s movie, will probably go over the heads of most young ones. Asa Butterfield delivers one of the year’s best child performances as Hugo Cabret, a boy living at a train station. He keeps the clocks running and is trying to fix a robot-like contraption left to him by his father. He meets up with a toyshop owner named Georges Méliès (Ben Kingsley); many film buffs will know that name. The film winds up being a nice homage to early filmmakers, with some of the best visuals Scorsese has ever put onscreen. The ever-reliable Chloë Grace Moretz does good work with an English accent as Hugo’s friend, while Sacha Baron Cohen provides excellent comic relief as a train-station security man. Grimm J. EDGAR

The first—and probably last—pairing of director Clint Eastwood and Leonardo DiCaprio is a sloppy,

A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS

While not as consistently funny as the first Harold and Kumar movie, this is a significant improvement over the second, and it’s a great exercise in 3-D fun.

This one picks up several years after the conclusion of the dour and outlandish Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. Harold (John Cho) is now a successful stockbroker married to a somewhat crazy woman named Maria (Paula Garcés), and he’s preparing for Christmas with his scary father-in-law (Danny Trejo). Kumar (Kal Penn) is estranged from Harold after getting kicked out of medical school. A mysterious package brings Harold and Kumar together again, and they embark on an adventure that includes a frantic search for a Christmas tree, an evil mobster (Elias Koteas), a glorious dancing appearance with the resurrected Neil Patrick Harris, and, most hilariously, a baby getting all sorts of accidental drug experiences. Grimm

DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

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Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (Blu-ray)

One of the great recent casting miracles is the duo of Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk in this brilliantly funny horror film with a twist. The chemistry between these two guys, playing misunderstood rednecks, is so precious that it should be a new form of currency.

They play Tucker and Dale, two Appalachian rednecks heading out for a weekend of fishing at their new vacation home. On the way, they spy some fancy college kids heading to the same lake— and confusion ensues. To give anything else away would be criminal, although co-writer and director Eli Craig does let the cat out of the bag fairly quickly.

Casting is terrific across the board. Katrina Bowden is very sweet as romanticinterest Allison; she proves that there is more than one Marcia Brady lookalike walking the planet. I also liked Jesse Moss as one of the college kids with issues; he essentially has this film’s Skeet Ulrich role.

The film works as both an effective horror film (Great gore!) and a comedy. I laughed harder at this movie than anything else this film year. Much of the credit for that goes to Labine and Tudyk, two guys who know how to make each other— and us—laugh.

This one may’ve snuck under your radar. I’m telling you now: If your Blu-ray shelf has a lot of space taken by stuff like Evil Dead, Dead Alive and Return of the Living Dead, this is your new favorite film. Waste no time in procuring a copy—and let the laughter begin.

I’m not saying I want a sequel to this film. I think it is the sort of thing that just needs to be left alone and not drawn out. But I would

love to see Labine and Tudyk together again in something else, because they are a perfect comedy duo.

SPECIAL FEATURES: There’s an excellent commentary featuring Labine, Tudyk and Craig. It’s one of those commentaries you will want to watch all the way through.

The outtakes reel is a blast, and there are a couple of featurettes dealing with the making of the film. You also get a gallery of storyboards.

It’s a great Blu-ray, for sure.

The Help (Blu-ray) TOUCHSTONE MOVIE BSPECIAL FEATURES C+ BLU-RAY GEEK FACTOR 5 (OUT OF 10)

Set in Mississippi during the ’60s, a white college graduate (Emma Stone) interviews black women who have been working as maids and raising other people’s children for many years. Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer are excellent as two maids dealing with rampant racism, including a crazy lady (a slightly overcooked Bryce Dallas Howard) who is leading an initiative to build separate bathrooms for the maids.

While not everything in this film works properly—it’s full of stereotypes and overacting—Davis and Spencer make it worth seeing, as does Jessica Chastain (The Tree of Life) as a rich Southern woman who actually treats her maid with great respect.

Chastain almost steals the film, something she did a lot in 2011.

It’s not a great movie, but certainly a good one. I thought it was a lock for Best Picture at one point, but the landscape seems to be changing a bit. We’ll see.

SPECIAL FEATURES: Some outtakes, a tribute to real maids of Mississippi, and a making-of featurette.

BY BOB GRIMM, bgrimm@tucsonweekly.com

Rushmore (Blu-ray) CRITERION MOVIE A SPECIAL FEATURES ABLU-RAY GEEK FACTOR 9.25 (OUT OF 10)

I remember liking Wes Anderson’s sophomore effort just fine when I first saw it. Then I remember renting it, watching the film, rewinding it, and watching it again. I had never done that before, nor have I done it since.

It’s a masterpiece.

Jason Schwartzman is phenomenal as Max Fischer, a prep-school kid obsessed with extracurricular activities/clubs who is totally bombing out in academics.

He’s also obsessed with a teacher (Olivia Williams). She, in turn, finds him amusing. A very rich man (Bill Murray) comes into play, creating one of cinema’s all-time-greatest, and weirdest, love triangles.

Anderson’s style came together perfectly with this one, and it remains his best movie. Murray won all sorts of critic awards for his role, but was strangely snubbed by the Oscars; he didn’t even get a nomination.

Owen Wilson was a great co-writer before he concentrated solely on acting. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Anderson’s best films are his first three, all co-written with Wilson. Maybe it would be a good idea to get these two guys back into a room together to write again. They were a great pair.

SPECIAL FEATURES: You get a commentary with Anderson, Schwartzman and Wilson.

There’s audition footage that is a lot of fun to watch, and the Max Fischer Players perform short film versions of Armageddon and The Truman Show. A making-of documentary, storyboards and a cool pamphlet are also included.

CHOW Mr. K has taken his recipes to bigger, nicer digs—but his ’cue is still delicious

NOSHING AROUND

BY ADAM BOROWITZ noshing@tucsonweekly.com

Love That Peppery Heat

New: Thai China Bistro A new restaurant called Thai China Bistro has opened in what was formerly Buck and Lil’s BBQ at 5121 E. Grant Road. As the name implies, both Thai and Chinese food are available, as is a decent selection of sushi rolls and numerous flavors of boba tea. The dessert menu also caught our attention, with offerings ranging from deep-fried Oreos to mango fried rice; 325-5185.

BY RITA CONNELLY, rconnelly@tucsonweekly.com com ull-disclosure time: Barbecue is not on my list of favorites. Call me unAmerican, but I’ve never developed a passion for ’cue—and believe me, I’ve had my fair share of the stuff.

Having said that, Mr. K’s does put out some pretty decent barbecue. Not everything we had was top-notch, but I can see why this place is so popular. Indeed, on one of our visits, the line was literally out the door.

The first thing you notice when you walk in is the heavenly aroma of smoke. It hangs in the air, promising good food to come. Food is served cafeteria-style: You get in line, grab a tray, and tell the guys behind the counter what you want. The meat is carefully portioned and wrapped in butcher paper. It’s served in the Southern tradition of “meat and two,” which means one portion of protein, and your choice of two sides. You get that for $10, and if you are really hungry, you can get two meats for $12, or three for $14. You can also get a half-pound sandwich with one of the meats for $7.

Meat choices include pork spareribs, sliced or chopped brisket, pulled pork, pulled chicken, a half-chicken, sliced turkey breast, longhorn links, and rope sausage. Sides include “county fair” corn on the cob, collard greens, house beans, potato salad, creamy slaw, mac ’n’ cheese, candied yams, green beans, steak fries, fried okra, and kettle-style potato chips (brand-name chips in a small bag). You can buy extra sides for $2, or get a family-size portion for $7. All meats are available by the pound, with prices ranging from about $22 for a full rack of ribs to $10 for pulled chicken. Desserts are $4 and include pecan pie, sweet-potato pie, cheesecake and peach cobbler (although the cobbler wasn’t available on either of our visits). Should you want vanillabean ice cream on one of those individualsize pies, it’s $2 more.

Our first visit was for takeout. We got the ribs and sliced brisket, with collard greens, green beans, house beans and mac ’n’ cheese as our sides. A small container of Mr. K’s barbecue sauce was put in the bag.

On our second visit, we sampled the pulled pork and the half chicken, along with fried okra, candied yams, potato salad and corn on the cob. The dining room was filled with picnic tables topped with red-and-white checkered vinyl tablecloths. Each table held the typical accoutrements (more about these later).

It’s obvious that the people here really care about the food. The large, smoky ribs, three in

F

Dinner at Wat Buddhametta Last month’s Thai buffet at Wat Buddhametta, a Buddhist temple at 1133 S. Swan Road, was something else. Fragrant pots of curry and soup sat among chicken and noodle dishes, and the dessert table was heavy with blacksesame pudding and other sweets. The next dinner takes place at 5 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17, and the same Thai cooking will be on hand.

The buffet is $10, and if you get there early enough, there might be a few seats left in the beautiful Buddha room; www. tucsonbuddhistcenter.org.

TIM GLASS

Meat!

Ribs, brisket, and sides of mac ’n’ cheese and creamy slaw at Mr. K’s. number—more than enough for the average appetite—had a wonderful char on the outside.

There was just enough fat to keep the meat moist and tender.

The brisket was also a fine example of what good ’cue is supposed to be. You could taste the seasonings and the smoke, and the meat was both tender and toothsome, with a fine char on the edges.

We also enjoyed the pulled pork—but the chicken was woefully undercooked. It was hard to pull apart, and the meat was wet (not moist) and pink in color. The skin, though, had a wonderful spicy flavor.

About the table fixin’s: There are four sauces.

Mr. K’s original is truly the secret behind this place, with hints of smoke, sweetness, peppery heat and the pop of vinegar. There’s also a hotter version of the house sauce; a dark, molassesbased sauce; and something called liquid gold (Carolina style), which has a hint of mustard.

You’ll also find ketchup and Tabasco sauce. And just to keep y’all neat and clean, there’s a roll of paper towels, too.

As far as the sides go, some were very good, while others didn’t quite hit the mark.

We liked the corn on the cob. It had been cooked in the smoker and was sweet and delicious. The green beans also were done well.

However, the mac ’n’ cheese was our favorite: Large pasta shells had been cooked just right, and

Mr. K’s Barbeque

We recently made the acquaintance of one Larry Whiston, a local meat broker for Showcase Meats. He delivers pork, chicken, seafood and steaks anywhere in Tucson and the surrounding areas. Call 870-1863, and he’ll rush over in his meat truck to show you the goods.

4911 N. Stone Ave.

Brewery News

Open daily, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Borderlands Brewing Company at 119 E. Toole Ave. is holding its official grand opening from 6 to 9 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10. The brewery has been open for several months now, and a few of its beers are on tap at Hotel Congress and Maynards Market and Kitchen, but the event will allow the public to check out the magnificent tasting room in all its rustic glory. Head over to borderlandsbrewing.com for more information.

Speaking of downtown breweries: Thunder Canyon Brewery (7401 N. La Cholla Blvd., No. 178) is opening another location on the corner of Broadway Boulevard and Fifth Avenue. The new location is expected to open next year.

408-7427; www.tucsonsbestbbq.com Pluses: Wonderful aromas; family-friendly atmosphere Minuses: Uneven yams and beans; undercooked chicken

were mixed with a creamy cheese sauce, then sprinkled with a crumb topping. The potato salad held its own, and the okra was a pleasant surprise, mainly due to the nicely seasoned coating. The collard greens were only so-so, because there was too much meat mixed into the dish, which totally dominated the greens.

But the candied yams and the house beans were … weird. The yams were cloyingly sweet, and there was an off-putting flavor in the beans, which had been reduced to mush after spending too much time at the steam table.

The only dessert we tried was the sweet-potato pie. It had been made “fresh this morning,” according to the guy behind the counter. The filling was creamy and just sweet enough.

Will barbecue ever make it onto my list of favorites? I don’t know … but I do know I’ll give Mr. K’s another try. After all, those ribs were really quite tasty.

Santa at Pasco Santa Claus himself will be down at Pasco Kitchen and Lounge at 820 E. University Blvd. this Friday, Dec. 9. The restaurant—which embraces the local-food movement—is offering a special menu for the event, with meals priced at $15 for adults, and $5 for the kids. The event takes place from 5 to 7 p.m., and reservations are strongly encouraged; 882-8013.

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CHOW SCAN | WOOD FIRED PIZZA | WRAPS | D OO | AF SE DS LA SA AS PIT | BOUTIQUE WINES & BEER | UR HO Y PP | HA R BA LL FU S TAPA

WE CATERAJAUNNGLYE.CEVOMENT WWW.PIT LOCALLY OWNED & OPERATED

Chow Scan is the Weeklyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s selective guide to Tucson restaurants. Only restaurants that our reviewers recommend are included. Complete reviews are online at www.tucsonweekly.com. Dates of reviews from August 1999 to the present are included in Chow Scan. Send comments and updates to: mailbag@ tucsonweekly.com; fax to 792-2096; mail to Chow, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726. These listings have no connection with Weekly advertising.

KEY PRICE RANGES $ $8 or less $ $ $8-$15 $ $ $ $15-$25 $ $ $ $ $25 and up.

Prices are based on menu entrĂŠe selections, and exclude alcoholic beverages.

FORMS OF PAYMENT

NEW HAPPY HOURS â&#x20AC;˘ 3-6 DAILY 5340 E. Broadway (Williams Centre) (520) 207-6873 | pitajungle.com

V Visa MC Mastercard AMEX American Express DIS Discover DC Dinerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Club checks local checks with guarantee card and ID only debit debit cards CatCard University of Arizona CatCard.

TYPE OF SERVICE Counter Quick or fast-food service, usually includes take-out.

Diner Minimal table service.

CafĂŠ Your server is most likely working solo.

Bistro Professional servers, with assistants bussing tables.

Full Cover Multiple servers, with the table likely well set.

Full Bar Separate bar space for drinks before and after dinner.

S South South of 22nd Street.

W West West of Granada Avenue, south of River Road.

CAFES AND BISTROS WILKO C 943 E. University Blvd. 792-6684. Open MondaySaturday 8 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Bistro/ Full Bar. DIS, MC, V. This gastropub is a wonderful addition to the university area; in fact, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a plus for the entire city. Artisan cheeses and meats are a big part of the menu. The Sonoran hot dog becomes the Sonoran bratwurst, locally made and topped with guindilla relish.

Other entrĂŠes include delicious pasta and a wonderful tilapia. Desserts are top-notch, which is no surprise, since theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re made by the folks at The B Line. (8-1111) $$

CAJUN DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BAYOU CAJUN COOKINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; NE 8991 E. Tanque Verde Road. 749-4410. Open Tuesday-Thursday 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Counter/BYO. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Craving some crawdads? Just gotta have a piece of pecan pie? We recommend heading over to Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. This teeny joint offers some of the Old Puebloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best Cajun cooking. This is truly down-home food, served simply, but with a lot of heart. (6-10-10) $$

CHINESE BA-DAR CHINESE RESTAURANT E 7321 E. Broadway Blvd. 296-8888. Open MondayThursday 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m. CafĂŠ/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. The range of flavors is not especially broad or intense, but with that caveat, the mix of Mandarin, Szechuan and Cantonese cuisine can be quite satisfying, with a particular variety of fish and seafood dishes. (10-30-08) $-$$ C. I. CHUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MONGOLIAN BARBECUE E 4540 E. Broadway Blvd. 881-4798. Open daily 11

a.m.-9 p.m. Diner/Beer and Sake. MC, V. Also at 7039 E. Tanque Verde Road (886-8619). C.I. Chuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s does Mongolian barbecue right. While the do-it-(mostly)yourself experience can be a bit confusing for first-time diners, this is a place to go for a relatively fast, affordable, uncomplicated and tasty bit of Asian food. (8-1204) $-$$

RESTAURANT LOCATION C Central North to River Road, east to Alvernon Way, west to

Granada Avenue downtown, and south to 22nd Street.

NW Northwest North of River Road, west of Campbell Avenue.

NE Northeast North of River Road, east of Campbell

Avenue.

E East East of Alvernon Way, south of River Road.

CHINA BOY C 1800 E. Fort Lowell Road, No. 136A. 867-8470.

Open Monday-Saturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday 11:30 a.m.-8 p.m. CafĂŠ/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. At this tiny midtown spot, the flavors are fresh and bright; the prices are reasonable; the portions are huge; and they pack up everything in those charming little white boxes.

The family dinners offer a nice assortment of choices, and the lunch specials do, too. The Mongolian beef

mother hubbardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

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Apple Bacon Chive Waffle Served with two eggs and fall fruit salad.

Closed Christmas Day Happy Holidays from Us All

Serving Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Most Unique Breakfasts and Brunches

House-made Country, Apple and Cajun Sausages and Chorizo House Blend Coffee

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Mon - Sat 6am -2pm Sunday 7am - 1 pm

14INW. GRANT RD â&#x20AC;˘ 623-7976 THE GRANTSTONE PLAZA 81'(5 1(: 2:1(56+,3

pops with flavor, and the orange chicken is a great version of this standby. The crystal shrimp could be addictingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the restaurant delivers, too! (10-20-11) $-$$ CHINA PHOENIX NW 7090 N. Oracle Road, Suite 172. 531-0658.

Open Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Saturday and Sunday 10 a.m.-9:30 p.m. CafĂŠ/Beer and Wine. MC, V. If you have a taste for dim sum on the weekend, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in for a cultural treat. The procuring of dumplings from pushcarts is a noisy business, but if you are hard up for dim sum, it will get you by. Dim sum is served on Saturday and Sunday from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. (10-17-02) $-$$ DRAGON VIEW W 400 N. Bonita Ave. 623-9855. Open Monday-

Thursday 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and 4-8:30 p.m.; Friday and Saturday noon-3 p.m. and 4-9:30 p.m.; Sunday noon3 p.m. and 4-8:30 p.m. Bistro/Beer and Wine. MC, V. Since original owner Harry Gee regained control of this secluded westside restaurant (itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on a street that winds along the west side of the Santa Cruz between St. Maryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Road and Congress Street), the fare is once again some of the best Chinese food in town. The duck, for one thing, is excellent, and the greens are also terrific if you let the staff guide your choice. (4-2-09) $-$$ DRAGON VILLAGE RESTAURANT NW 12152 N. Rancho Vistoso Blvd., No. 180. 229-

0388. Open Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Saturday and Sunday noon-9 p.m. CafĂŠ/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. While not matching the level of Bay Area Chinese restaurants, the crowded Dragon Village is perfectly fine by Tucson standards, with remarkable walnut shrimp and a good way with broccoli. (4-10-08) $

HARVEST MOON NW 12125 N. Oracle Road, Suite D5. 825-5351. Open Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Saturday and Sunday noon-9 p.m. CafĂŠ/Full Bar. AMEX, MC, V. Folks in Oro Valley can rejoice in the fact that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got one of the best Chinese restaurants in the area right in their backyard. Wonderful starters include the crab puffs, foilwrapped chicken and pot stickers. Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t-miss entrĂŠes include the crispy duck and the scrumptious crispy shrimp with spicy salt. Soups are yummy, too! (12-3109) $$ IMPRESS HOT POT C 2610 N. First Ave. 882-3059. Open daily 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5-10 p.m. Bistro/No Alcohol.

AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Impress Hot Pot is Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first Chinese hot-pot restaurant, and this do-it-yourself place is definitely worth a stop. Authentic Chinese flavors abound; try one of the many unique dishes like jellyfish, chicken feet or preserved eggs. Customize your own tasty hot pot with a plethora of ingredients and sauce optionsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and be sure to bring friends to share. (11-311) $$ P.F. CHANGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHINA BISTRO NW 1805 E. River Road. 615-8788. Open SundayThursday 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-midnight. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. It may be more L.A. than Tucson, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no denying that this hip chain is one of Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular places to be seen and dine. Diners are rewarded with commendable fare and a chic, eclectic ambience. Servers are intimately familiar with the menu, so by all means, take their advice. You wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be sorry. (8-3-00) $$

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PANDA BUFFET AND SUSHI C 2419 E. Broadway Blvd. 620-6688. Open Sunday-

GOLDEN PHOENIX C 2854 E. 22nd St. 327-8008. Open daily 11 a.m.-

9:30 p.m. CafĂŠ/Beer and Wine. MC, V. The food here is consistently as good as what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d find in San Francisco or Hong Kong. Austere atmosphere, but when the kitchen is on, this place is it. $-$$ GREAT WALL CHINA S 2445 S. Craycroft Road. 514-8888. Open daily 11

a.m.-10 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Great Wall Chinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original owner, Mr. An, is back, and so is this Davis-Monthan-area favorite. The service is quick and friendly; the dĂŠcor is clean and welcoming. And the food? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s consistently tasty, although the vegetarian offerings could use a boost. The pan-fried noodles are worth checking out, as is the not-too-sweet sesame chicken. Great Wall deserves to be part of the conversation when discussing Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top Chinese restaurants.

(1-31-08) $$-$$$$

Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. CafĂŠ/Buffet/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This place takes the standard Chinese-food buffet formula and kicks it up a notch, offering a small but decent sushi selection, about three dozen dishes, and even eight varieties of scoop-it-yourself ice cream.

However, Panda Buffet really shines when it breaks out the seafood buffet (for Friday and Saturday dinner, and allday Sunday). Offerings include huge snails, oysters on the half-shell, several crab and shrimp creations, clams, crawfish and all sorts of other stuff. Not all of the dishes succeed, but enough of them do. (1-20-11) $-$$ PANDA HOUSE STIR-FRY NW 3725 W. Ina Road. 744-6200. Open MondaySaturday 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5-8 p.m. Counter/ Diner/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Featuring buildyour-own stir fry and all-you-can-eat lunch Monday through Friday for less than $8. $-$$

GUILIN CHINESE RESTAURANT

PANDA VILLAGE

C 3250 E. Speedway Blvd. 320-7768. Open Sunday

E 6546 E. Tanque Verde Road. 296-6159. Open

11:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Monday-Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Saturday 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. CafĂŠ/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Hold on to your hats! With this venue, Tucson can boast itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s home to honest-to-goodness Chinese food, full of the bright tastes and textures for which the cuisine is renowned everywhere but here in the Old Pueblo. Tons of vegetarian options and daily lunch specials make Guilin a must-stop. $-$$

Monday-Thursday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Sunday 4-10 p.m. Diner/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had some extraordinary dinners at this Chinese venue. The kuo tieh, flavorful pork-filled dumplings lightly seared, are served with sauce of perfect fragrance and bite. $$

New Delhi Palace CUISINE OF INDIA

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

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1800 E. Ft. Lowell Rd, No 168 â&#x20AC;˘ 520-319-5554 â&#x20AC;˘ Mon-Sat 11am-8pm

GRAND OPENING 6-10PM Saturday, Dec. 10th

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Oracle Rd.

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River Rd.

Open 7 Days Mon-Fri 11:30am-2:30pm & 5:00pm-11:00pm Sat & Sun 12:00pm-10:00pm

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119 E. TOOLE â&#x20AC;˘ BORDERLANDSBREWING.COM DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

TuCsONWEEKLY

37

MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY | FRIDAY | SATURDAY | SUNDAY

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ALL DAY - JOIN US FOR MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL during the game $2.50 bud aluminum pints, $5 ciroc cocktails

INDUSTRY NIGHT

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ALL YOU CAN EAT BABY BACK RIBS $19 4-9pm

PARTY ROCK exclusive U of A night - no cover with cat card, LASER SHOW, $2 Bud Light, $2 Shock Top dj and dancing 2-4-1 shooters, and bombers $4 3 olives flavors

TUCSON’S BEST LASER LIGHT SHOW dj soo, dancing 2-4-1 well shooters & stoli cocktails $3 bud family aluminum pints $5 ciroc cocktails

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POWERHOUSE SATURDAY NIGHTS $5 COVER 10-close dj spinning the BEST HOUSE, ELECTRO, TECHNO & DIRTY DUTCH 2-4-1 ciroc cocktails $2 Dos XX drafts $2.25 heineken, heineken light bottles

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CHINESE

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 37

PEKING PALACE E 6970 E. 22nd St. 750-9614. Open daily 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Café/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Bright, fresh renditions of Chinese classics. The hot and sour soup, Peking duck and stir-fried shrimp and scallops are often worth the trip. $$-$$$

COFFEE HOUSES BENTLEY’S HOUSE OF COFFEE AND TEA C 1730 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-0338. Open MondaySaturday 7 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sunday 8 a.m.-11 p.m.

Summer hours: Monday-Saturday 7 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sunday 8 a.m.-11 p.m. Café/Counter/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V, Checks. Delightful desserts, coffee you can get your hands around, and lip-smacking fresh salads and sandwiches make this standard a good choice.

(4-19-01) $ IKE’S COFFEE AND TEA C 3400 E. Speedway Blvd. 323-7205. Open daily 6 a.m.-midnight. Café/No Alcohol. MC, V. Also at 100 N. Stone Ave. (792-1800). Ike’s does it right, with fresh ingredients in their salads and sandwiches, good coffee and a modern but mellow atmosphere. Try dessert, too; you won’t be disappointed. (7-10-03) $ LE BUZZ CAFFE AND NEWS E 9121 E. Tanque Verde Road, Suite 125. 749-3903.

Open daily 6 a.m.-8 p.m. Counter/Beer and Wine.

AMEX, MC, V, Checks. A pretty, warm, friendly neighborhood hangout with full espresso-bar offerings and a good bakery. Excellent service and a great location—the northeast corner of Tanque Verde Road and Catalina Highway—make Le Buzz a local favorite. (9-12-02) $

DELI BISON WITCHES BAR AND DELI C 326 N. Fourth Ave. 740-1541. Open daily 11 a.m.midnight (bar open until 2 a.m.). Café/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This college hangout earns its popularity with fresh sandwiches, tasty bread-bowl soups and enormous trays of nachos. A nice selection of beers and other alcohol add to the place’s appeal. (3-10-05) $ FIFTH STREET DELI AND MARKET E 5071 E. Fifth St. 325-3354. Open Monday-Thursday 8 a.m.-7 p.m.; Friday and Sunday 8 a.m.-3 p.m.

Counter/No Alcohol. DIS, MC, V. This is exactly what a neighborhood market/deli should be: small, cozy and nothing fancy, with friendly service. The food is pretty good, too; the noodle kugel is a real winner, and the brisket is better than homemade. Corned beef comes in extra-lean and regular varieties, and the soups are popular. Whether you stop to get a meal to-go or dine in, this deli should be on your list of regular dining spots.

(12-25-08) $-$$

5 DAYS OF KARAOKE Sunday – Family Karaoke 6:30pm Tuesday – 8pm Karaoke Wednesday – 8pm Karaoke Friday – 8:30pm Karaoke Saturday – 9:30pm Karaoke

Drink Specials Open Pool Tables on Sunday Late nite specials: ½ price apps and $1 domestic mugs from 11pm to close

2480 W. Ruthrauff Rd. • (520) 292-0492 38 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

SHLOMO AND VITO’S NEW YORK DELICATESSEN NW 2870 E. Skyline Drive. 529-3354. Open SundayThursday 8 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 8 a.m.-10 p.m. Café/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Where do you go in the Sonoran Desert for smoked whitefish or matzo brei? Head on over to Shlomo and Vito’s, which is more of a restaurant than a true deli; there’s a full dinner menu in addition to an assortment of deli offerings.

Desserts are made in-house. The portions are huge, and the patio offers views you can’t get in the Big Apple.

There are Italian faves as well, but stick to the Jewish side of the menu. (6-19-08) $-$$ TONY’S ITALIAN DELI E 6219 E. 22nd St. 747-0070. Open Monday-Saturday

9 a.m.-8 p.m. Café/Counter/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. With the feel of New York City’s Little Italy, Tony’s is the place to go for cozy, welcoming food and warm hospitality. Whether it’s the generous sandwiches, the pasta or the pizza that keeps you coming back, everyone in the family is sure to find something to please their individual tastes. If you’re feeding a crowd at home, don’t forget to pick up one of Tony’s buckets of spaghetti. $

EASTERN EUROPEAN AMBER RESTAURANT AND GALLERY NE 7000 E. Tanque Verde Road. 296-9759. Open Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Café/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Amber offers just what this town needs: good, hardy Eastern European food in a thoroughly modern setting. Potato pancakes, kielbasa, goulash, schnitzel and other old-

world dishes are made from scratch and served with a smile. While the prices are a tad high, you’ll be taking home a doggie bag or two to enjoy the next day. (8-2009) $$$-$$$$

ETHIOPIAN CAFÉ DESTA C 758 S. Stone Ave. 370-7000. Open: SundayThursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.10 p.m. Summer hours: Monday-Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Saturday 4-10 p.m. Café/ No Alcohol. MC, V. Café Desta is more than just a place to grab some grub—it’s a shared dining experience.

With more-than-generous portion sizes and flavorful traditional Ethiopian dishes, the café is livening up the south-of-downtown scene, filling a small void in an area lacking restaurants. (5-12-11) $$ ZEMAM’S C 2731 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-9928. Open TuesdaySunday 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 4:30-9:30 p.m. Café/ BYO. MC, V, Checks. For a quick transport to North Africa, try Zemam’s and savor the complex and spicy regional fare. Served with the traditional bread called injera, the food at Zemam’s is a delightful excuse to eat with your hands, get sloppy and have good fun. (11-0200) $-$$

FRENCH GHINI’S FRENCH CAFFÉ C 1803 E. Prince Road. 326-9095. Open TuesdaySaturday 6:30 a.m.-3 p.m.; Tuesday 5-7 p.m. for tapas; Sunday 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Café/Full Bar. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V, Checks. Ghini’s is a small marvel of culinary perfection. From the eggs cooked with broiled tomatoes, garlic and fresh thyme to the heavenly pasta creations, Ghini’s knows how to take an assortment of singularly fresh ingredients and create something truly special. It doesn’t hurt that the tiny restaurant shares space with La Baguette, one of the most popular bakeries in town.

Pick up a fresh baguette and some croissants while you’re there. $ LE RENDEZ-VOUS C 3844 E. Fort Lowell Road. 323-7373. Open TuesdayFriday 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m. and 5:30-11 p.m.; Saturday and Sunday 5:30-11 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V, Checks. The deft touch of chef Jean-Claude Berger makes for a sumptuous lunch or dinner of simple dishes, like cabrilla in capers and lemon, done splendidly. $$-$$$

GREEK ATHENS ON FOURTH AVENUE C 500 N. Fourth Ave. 624-6886. Open MondaySaturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Café/Full Bar. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V, Checks. To sup with the gods, one needs to stroll no farther than up Fourth Avenue to Athens on Fourth. A small restaurant where Andreas Delfakis has quietly been serving the best authentic Greek cuisine in Tucson for years. (3-7-02) $-$$ THE FAT GREEK E 3225 N. Swan Road, Suite 105. 784-7335. Open daily 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Café/Counter/Beer and Wine.

AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Also located at 994 E. University Blvd. (206-0246). Both locations of this locally owned Tucson restaurant serve up great Greek food, fast, with a smile. Don’t miss one of Tucson’s tastiest gyros, but also consider trying one of the lesser-known specialties.

Inexpensive and delicious. (11-5-09) $-$$ FRONIMO’S GREEK CAFÉ C 3242 E. Speedway Blvd. 327-8321. Open daily 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Counter/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This unpretentious but attractive family-owned spot provides quick service of the Greek basics, plus burgers and gyros. It’s very good Greek food at equally good prices. (2-28-08) $-$$ IT’S GREEK TO ME NW 15920 N. Oracle Road. 825-4199. Open MondaySaturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Bistro/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. From luscious appetizers like the rich taramosalata, to savory entrées like the pastitsio and the lamb shank, and concluding with a heavenly honey cake or lovely baklava for dessert, the food at this Greek joint sings. These are the same people who run the wonderful Athens on Fourth Avenue, so you know the food’s going to impress. The atmosphere is casual, and the service is sincere and friendly. If you’re lucky, George, the chef and owner, will come out to share a glass of wine or a little insight on how he prepared your dinner. It’s worth the drive to Catalina. (11-17-11) $$-$$$

MY BIG FAT GREEK RESTAURANT E 7131 E. Broadway Blvd. 722-6000. Open MondayThursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Also at 7265 N. La Cholla Blvd. (797-7444). This Phoenix-based chain offers delicious food at extremely reasonable prices. The souvlaki is moist and marinated perfectly; the spanakopita is a spinach-and-feta delight.

The décor reminds one of Applebee’s, and the service— while fast—may suffer from an occasional lapse or two.

However, the Greek standards served here are as good and inexpensive as anywhere else in Tucson—even if this is a chain joint. (4-3-08) $$-$$$ OPA! C 2990 N. Campbell Ave., No. 130. 327-2841. Open

Monday-Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Café/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This Greek restaurant on the Campbell Avenue restaurant row offers a full slate of traditional Greek favorites in a hearty, homey atmosphere. Try the souvlaki or perhaps a spanakopita platter or the gyros wrap. Greek beer and wine are available. Raise your glasses and say OPA! (2-14-08) $$-$$$

INDIAN CURRY LEAF C 2510 E. Grant Road, No. 100. 881-2786. Open Monday-Saturday 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. Café/ No Alcohol. DC, DIS, MC, V. Curry Leaf offers affordable lunch specials, as well as delicious dinner entrées. The food is fresh; the service is friendly; and the portion sizes are generous for the price. Be sure not to miss out on the soft, buttery garlic naan. (9-15-11) $$ GANDHI C 150 W. Fort Lowell Road. 292-1738. Open daily

11 a.m.-3 p.m. and 5-10 p.m. Café/Full Bar. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. Gandhi offers an expansive menu including a dozen curry dishes, a plethora of tandoori dishes, breads, biryanis (jambalaya-like stews) and other entrées. Vegetarians, take note: There are more than two dozen dishes offered that are sans-meat. And the buffet may be the best lunch deal in town. As one diner put it, it’s like “a roller coaster in your mouth.” (8-28-03) $-$$ INDIA OVEN C 2727 N. Campbell Ave. 326-8635. Open daily 11

a.m.-2:45 p.m. and 5-10 p.m. Café/Beer and Wine.

AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This cozy little Campbell Avenue restaurant has long been a Tucson favorite for its large (more than 100-plus items) menu. The lunch buffet features a surprisingly good selection of tasty items, and the samosas are consistently fantastic. (4-27-06) $-$$ NEW DELHI PALACE E 6751 E. Broadway Blvd. 296-8585. Open daily

11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5-10 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. New Delhi Palace is a great eastside spot for a quick, inexpensive and tasty Indian lunch buffet—as long as you’re not looking for super-spicy fare. Dinner is served fast and with a smile, and the menu offers an extensive selection of authentic and tasty Indian appetizers, entrées and desserts, as well as a great international beer selection. (11-4-10) $$-$$$ SAFFRON INDIAN BISTRO NW 7607 N. Oracle Road. 742-9100. Open Monday-

Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.

Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. Subtle, delicate preparations in mod, minimalist surroundings. Portions are pricier than at other local Indian restaurants, but large. If you want to taste the heat, you need to ask for it. (9-18-08) $$-$$$ SHER-E PUNJAB C 853 E. Grant Road. 624-9393. Open daily 11 a.m.-

2:30 p.m. and 5-10 p.m. Café/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Sher-e Punjab is near the top of many lists as one of the best Indian restaurants in Tucson. Whole, fresh foods and an amazing and eclectic array of spicing lends every dish here a distinct and delicious character.

A daily lunch buffet with changing dishes gives diners a chance to sample from a wide swath of the restaurant’s extensive menu. $-$$

ITALIAN AMARSI RISTORANTE NW 12152 N. Rancho Vistoso Blvd. 297-9491. Open Tuesday-Friday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Saturday and Sunday 4-9 p.m. Full Cover/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. With a wonderful assortment of standards, servers who know their stuff and an interesting wine list, Amarsi rocks.

Pasta offerings run the gamut, and there’s a nice assortment of veal, chicken and steak plates. We especially liked the stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer. Most desserts are house-made. (12-9-10) $$-$$$

MUSIC

SOUNDBITES

The great Kinky Friedman arrives in Tucson, solo, to do some sellin’ and singin’

By Stephen Seigel, musiced@tucsonweekly.com

Bard With Booze

Sugar Stains

BY GENE ARMSTRONG, garmstrong@tucsonweekly.com

F

sion of Chavin’s “Asshole From El Paso,” a parody of Merle Haggard’s “Okie From Muskogee.”

During his 1970s heyday, Friedman not only performed onstage alongside Bob Dylan during the Rolling Thunder Revue tour; he also appeared on Saturday Night Live and at the Grand Ole Opry.

When his music career temporarily slowed in the 1980s, Friedman turned to writing and began a series of Chandleresque detective novels featuring a private dick named Kinky Friedman.

He also has written a play, Becoming Kinky: The World According to Kinky Friedman, which had its premiere earlier this year in Houston.

Currently, he’s finishing a book with Billy Bob Thornton and preparing to write one with Willie Nelson. Kinky figures he has published more than 30 books. “Not bad for a 67-yearold who reads at a 69-year-old level,” he says.

Starting in 2001, he wrote a popular column in the magazine Texas Monthly, which was suspended so he could run for governor of Texas in 2006. He lost to Rick Perry, about whom he says, “Let me tell you something about Rick Perry: Blondes and Aggies tell Rick Perry jokes.”

Kinky has run for political office as a Democrat and as an independent, but today considers political parties to be little more than “the Crips and the Bloods, the bullies of the playground.”

About losing the governor’s race, Friedman is content to say “the crowd always picks Barabbas,” a reference to a thief who was spared from crucifixion in the Christian gospels. As a gesture at Passover, Pontius Pilate offered to commute the death sentence of either Barabbas or Jesus Christ.

Friedman long has admired the story of Jesus. But he has many heroes, or at least people he speaks about with respect: JFK, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Winston Churchill, Mel Brooks, Lenny Bruce, John Lennon, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., Judy Garland, Roger Miller, Audie Murphy, Barbara Jordan, Kris Kristofferson and Billy Joe Shaver.

Another of Kinky’s passions has been animal rescue. He is the founder of Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, also located near Kerrville. “It’s for stray, abused and aging animals, a never-kill sanctuary,” he says. More than 1,000 dogs have been saved at Utopia from euthanasia.

Friedman’s philosophy on animals is: “Money may buy you a dog, but only love and affection can make him come to you.”

An avid cigar-smoker, he also peddles a line

WHERE TUCSON MUSIC HISTORY IS MADE

NICOLE WEINGART

or more than 40 years, Kinky Friedman has perfected his unique combination of country-musicmaking, fiction-writing, playwriting, political aspirations, pointed satire and snake-oil showmanship.

But when we call him at his Texas ranch, Friedman is concerned most with his sartorial choices for his upcoming concert jaunt. “You caught me with my pants off,” he says. “I have been trying on different pairs of pantaloons.”

The Hanukkah Tour, as it’s dubbed, will be “14 crazy nights in 14 cities,” Friedman says.

Although famous for his band Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys (a play on the name of the classic Western swing group Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys), the Kinkster is going it alone for the current tour—which he finds both scary and liberating.

“By the time I get to Tucson, to paraphrase Jimmy Webb’s song, I may be wheeled in on a gurney.”

The gurney will arrive Friday, Dec. 9, at Plush. Local singer-songwriter Hank Topless will open the show.

Born in 1944, Richard S. Friedman moved with his parents as a young child to Echo Hill Ranch, near Kerrville, Texas. He still resides there today, even though he also has done time living in New York City, Nashville and Los Angeles.

He graduated in 1966 from the University of Texas, where his dorm roommate was the bawdy singer-songwriter Chinga Chavin, creator of the pivotal 1970s album Country Porn.

According to legend, it was Chavin who gave Friedman his famous nickname, a nod to his curly hair.

Post-college, Kinky served two years in the Peace Corps in Borneo. “I got paid 11 cents an hour to do agricultural labor. It was one of the best jobs … well, it was the only job I ever had.”

Friedman came to prominence as a singersongwriter and bandleader in the early 1970s, riding the new movement of country rock, and penning songs that alternated between social commentary and silliness. He often focused on cultural conventions and religious references, exposing hypocrisy and supercilious pursuits along the way.

Among his most-memorable tunes have been “They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Anymore,” “The Ballad of Charles Whitman,” “High on Jesus,” “Wild Man From Borneo,” “We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You,” “Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed” and “Ride ’Em Jewboy,” perhaps the only country song about the Holocaust. He also did a popular ver-

Kinky Friedman on Rick Perry: “Let me tell you something about Rick Perry: Blondes and Aggies tell Rick Perry jokes.”

Kinky Friedman with Hank Topless 9 p.m., Friday, Dec. 9 Plush 340 E. Sixth St. $25 798-1298; plushtucson.com

of cigars that bears his name. Ever the traveling salesman, Friedman will have lots of goodies on hand to hawk at the concert, including his recent books and tour posters.

And even though he still writes on a portable typewriter, Kinky is embracing technology, or at least asking fans to pay for it. He’ll have with him the new Kinky Jump Drive, which holds three complete Kinky Friedman audio books (read by him, naturally). Also available for sale will be the new Kinky Nano, an MP3 player that contains more than 200 of his songs, as well as examples of his live performances.

Also among Friedman’s latest efforts is his forthcoming, top-shelf Man in Black Tequila, which he is preparing to roll out commercially in January. He’ll have some samples available at the Tucson concert.

With the tequila, “We’ll try to project an aura of Zorro, Johnny Cash and Paladin. It’s the best-tasting Mexican mouthwash I’ve tried,” Friedman says, allowing that he has tried more than a few.

Unlike many authors, the Kinkster doesn’t insist you buy his latest book to get him to sign it. He is always happy to meet with his fans and exercise his Sharpie. “And I will sign everything except bad legislation.”

It arrives next week—the greatest musical event since the Beatles played on Ed Sullivan. Since Hendrix lit his guitar on fire at Woodstock. Since Iggy Pop smeared peanut butter all over his body.

Since Justin Bieber cut off those beautiful locks.

I’m speaking, of course, about The 14th Annual Great Cover-Up, which may or may not be all of those things, but is surely the most-consistently fun local music event of the year.

A brief history: The idea for the event was stolen wholesale from Champaign, Ill., where I attended a few Cover-Ups in the ’90s. The idea was to gather a bunch of local bands, each of which would pick a well-known artist to cover in a 20-minute set—while keeping it secret who they were covering until they hit the stage, in order to maximize the element of surprise. The best part of all was that the money raised would go to charity.

It’s a simple, ingenious idea, and when I told Shoebomb’s Melissa Manas about it, we decided it would translate well to Tucson. She took the reins and organized the first Tucson Cover-Up back in 1998. When she had to bow out the following year due to pregnancy, an ever-shifting team over the years (this year, it’s me; Tucson Weekly contributor Mel Mason; the Rialto Theatre’s Curtis McCrary and Ryan Trayte; Club Congress’ David Slutes; and local promoter Dan Hernandez) picked up where she left off. Since then, the Cover-Up has grown by leaps and bounds, first expanding to two nights, then three.

And this year, for the first time ever, the event will be held at three different venues over three nights, and at two of those venues during the day (on Saturday only), making this, with more than 60 bands participating, the biggest Cover-Up yet.

All of the proceeds over the years have been donated to charity. This year’s beneficiary, as it has been for the last four, will be the Tucson Artists and Musicians Healthcare Alliance (TAMHA), which provides informational and monetary healthcare resources to local, uninsured artists.

The 2011 edition will be held at Plush on Thursday, Dec. 15; Club Congress on Friday, Dec. 16; and the Rialto Theatre on Saturday, Dec. 17.

Additionally, on Saturday the 17th, both Congress and the Rialto will feature acts during the day; more on that next week.

In previous years, we’ve published a schedule saying what times the local acts were playing, along with a general list of who was being covered that night. This year, we’re flipping the script— letting you know which bands are being covered in each time slot, with a general list of the local bands performing.

And so, the schedule for the first night of The 14th Annual Great Cover-Up, held at Plush, 340 E. Sixth St., next Thursday, Dec. 15, looks like this: Pavement (7:45 p.m.), the Everly Brothers (8:15 p.m.), John Lennon (8:45 p.m.), Steely Dan (9:15 p.m.), David Bowie (9:45 p.m.), Weezer

CONTINUED ON PAGE 41 DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

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TOP TEN

ALL DAY EVERY DAY SPECIALS:

Toxic Ranch Records’ top sales for the week ending Dec. 4, 2011

NEW YEAR’S GUIDE: LAST CHANCE! A quick reminder to all local promoters and venues: If you’re putting on a music-oriented event on New Year’s Eve, please send me your details if you’d like to be included in our annual New Year’s Eve Guide. The deadline to get information to me is noon on Monday, Dec. 12, and you can send it to musiced@tucsonweekly.com.

A SWEET NEW RELEASE Two local bands are holding a joint CD-release show this week.

Veteran heavy blooze rockers Love Mound will release the full-length The Noose, the Tree, and the Desert Sky (Hover Tank), which you can read about in this week’s Rhythm & Views (Page 47). And the relatively new local trio Sugar Stains will release its debut EP, Sweet Revenge (self-released).

Sugar Stains, which includes songwriter Amy Mendoza (vocals, guitar), Erica Rios (bass) and Amy McDaniel (drums), clearly graduated with honors from the tuff-girl school of rock. But even within these five songs, there’s enough variation to keep things interesting. “January 8th” comes charging out of the gate with a buzzsaw guitar riff in the timehonored poppy-punk tradition. It never really lets up, with Mendoza’s post-riot-grrrl vocals veering from snotty punk to downright pretty.

It’s a fine tone-setter for the rest of the EP. “Fingerprints” follows the “January 8th” template closely—minus the pretty parts—but not quite as successfully. “Blaze,” whose opening bass line owes a debt to Fugazi’s “Waiting Room,” is a real treat, all midtempo, galloping, not-quite-bouncy guitar, with a fine vocal performance from Mendoza, plus a sultry bridge.

It wouldn’t be nearly as successful if the rhythm section weren’t playing their hearts out.

“Ignorance” tosses a little surf-guitar into the

mix, while “Devolve” is the most straight-up punk-rock song on the EP. While it’s always great to see more women playing music on local stages, Sugar Stains aren’t a fine new addition to Tucson music because of their gender; they’re a fine new addition because they’re a fine new band, period.

Sugar Stains celebrate the release of Sweet Revenge by headlining a show at Plush, 340 E. Sixth St., on Saturday, Dec. 10. Snakes in Love kick off the night at 9:30 p.m., and Love Mound takes the middle slot. Cover is $5. For more info, head to plushtucson.com, or call 798-1298.

SHORT TAKES With the impending departure from Tucson of the group’s frontwoman, Jo Wilkinson and Grains of Sand will play a farewell concert at Suite 147 at Plaza Palomino, 2970 N. Swan Road, No. 147, at 7 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11.

Expect plenty of special guests including Mitzi Cowell, Sabra Faulk, Heather Hardy, Bobby Kimmel, Gary Mackender, Bill Ronstadt and Duncan Stitt. Tickets are $12 in advance, or $15 at the door; rhythmandroots.org.

Legendary L.A. roots-punk band X will arrive in Tucson this week as part of its Xmas Rock ’n’ Roll Revival tour. The band, whose current lineup features all four original members, will be joined by the gospel duo of Sean Wheeler and Zander Schloss, and the Black Tibetans at a 7 p.m. show on Saturday, Dec. 10, at the Fox Tucson Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. Tickets are $22 to $38, available at the venue box office or by calling 547-3040; foxtucsontheatre.org.

Listen up, fans of Weezer, Fountains of Wayne and their ilk: Springfield, Mo.-based indie-poppers Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, whose name only gets better with every passing year, return to Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St., for a show in support of this year’s sprawling odds ’n’ sods collection Tape Club (Polyvinyl). Opening the all-ages show at 7:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 12, will be The Electric Blankets and … music video? Tix are $8 in advance, or $10 on the day of the show; 622-8848 or hotelcongress.com/club.

1. Various Artists

$1.00 Coronitas $1.00 Pacificos (7 oz) $2 Domestics $2 Wells

Christmas in Tucson (independent)

2. Various Artists Winter Harvest Christmas (San Jacinto)

3. Various Artists

$3 32oz Domestic Pitchers

Luz de Vida: A Compilation to Benefit the Victims of the Tucson Tragedy (Fort Lowell)

THURS. 12/8

$8 LARGE PITCHERS

4. The Grannies

Shock Top, Blue Moon, Dos XX & Fat Tire

For Those About to Forget to Rock (Wondertaker)

UNDERWEAR NIGHT 9PM-CLOSE $1.50 Domestics

5. Void

FRI. 12/9

Sessions 1981-83 (Dischord)

Karaoke Fridays Karaoke 9pm–Close

6. Bonnie Prince Billy Wolfroy Goes to Town (Drag City) Tails of the City (Bloat)

SAT. 12/10

8. Nig-Heist

Jon’s Birthday Celebration

Nig-Heist (Drag City)

MADNESS DRINK SPECIALS 12PM - 2AM

Cake and Drag Show benefitting TIHAN

9. The Outlaw Rebels The Outlaw Rebels (self-released)

SUN. 12/11

10. Besmirchers

Recovery SUNDAYs

Besmirch and Destroy (Steel Cage)

$2.75 Bloody Marys, Screwdrivers $5 RED CUP REFILL $.50 2-7pm Burgers on the Grill at 3pm

Tom Rhodes of Last Call Girls

MON. 12/12

$2.25 LAND SHARK BOTTLES TUE. 12/13

$3.25 BLUE MOON PINTS WED. 12/14

“Hump Day” WEDNESDAYS $3.50 Long Island Iced Teas All Day

ON THE BANDWAGON Jeffrey Lewis and others at Skrappy’s on Sunday, Dec. 11; Brian Setzer’s Rockabilly Riot at the Rialto Theatre on Monday, Dec. 12; The Wailers and Lee “Scratch” Perry (the only date when they’re performing together) at the Rialto Theatre tonight, Thursday, Dec. 8; Devil Doll, The El Camino Royales and Moonlight Howlers at Surly Wench Pub on Friday, Dec. 9; The Littlest Birds at Plush on Tuesday, Dec. 13; Toys for Tots II at The Rock on Saturday, Dec. 10; Bricktop, Slick 46, Texas Trash and the Hangovers and others at The Hut on Saturday, Dec. 10; Peach Kelli Pop and Lenguas Largas at La Cocina tonight, Thursday, Dec. 8; the Last Call Girls and The Maxwells at Boondocks Lounge on Saturday, Dec. 10.

Please note that the Cake show at the Rialto Theatre on Friday, Dec. 9, is sold out.

MIDNIGHT

$6 Large Domestic Pitchers

7. Monster Pussy

Free Wifi

BEAUTIFUL PATIO OUTDOOR POOL TABLES

Best Internet Jukebox in Town 2449 N. Stone Ave.

622-0447

Open 10am-2am Daily ELLIE MAY

(10:15 p.m.), Os Mutantes (10:45 p.m.), Mötley Crüe (11:15 p.m.), XTC (11:45 p.m.), Heaven at 27 (songs by musicians who died at age 27; 12:15 a.m.), Bauhaus (12:45 a.m.).

In no particular order, the local acts doing the covering that night are Young Mothers, Faster Than Light, Shaun Harris, The Distortionists, Still Life Telescope, The Swigs, Muddy Bug, Early Black, Genevieve and the LPs, Jeremy Michael Cashman and The Monitors.

Doors open at 7 p.m., and please note that unlike at most club shows, the bands will actually be performing at their scheduled times, so please be prompt—or risk missing stuff.

Admission is a suggested donation of $8 for one night, $12 for two nights, or $15 for all three, with every penny going to TAMHA. For more information, including last-minute schedule updates (if necessary), head to greatcoveruptucson.com. For more info about TAMHA, go to tucsonartists.org. You can call Plush at 798-1298, or check out its website at plushtucson.com.

See you there!

www.brodiestavern.com Become our FAN and FOLLOW us!

DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

TuCsONWEEKLY

41

CLUB LIST EDDIES COCKTAILS 8510 E. Broadway Blvd. 290-8750.

EL CHARRO CAFÉ SAHUARITA 15920 S. Rancho Sahuarita. Sahuarita.

325-1922.

EL CHARRO CAFÉ ON BROADWAY 6310 E. Broadway Blvd. 745-1922.

EL MEZÓN DEL COBRE 2960 N. First Ave. 791-0977.

EL PARADOR 2744 E. AMADO TERRITORY Broadway Blvd. 881-2744.

STEAKHOUSE 3001 E. ELBOW ROOM 1145 W. Prince Frontage Road. Amado.

Road. 690-1011.

398-2651.

ARIZONA INN 2200 E. Elm St. FAMOUS SAM’S BROADWAY 1830 E. Broadway Blvd.

325-1541.

884-0119.

ARMITAGE WINE LOUNGE FAMOUS SAM’S E. GOLF AND CAFÉ 2905 E. Skyline LINKS 7129 E. Golf Links Drive, No. 168. 682-9740.

Road. 296-1245.

THE AULD DUBLINER 800 E. FAMOUS SAM’S SILVERBELL University Blvd. 206-0323.

2320 N. Silverbell Road.

AZUL RESTAURANT LOUNGE 884-7267.

Westin La Paloma, 3800 E. FAMOUS SAM’S VALENCIA Sunrise Drive. 742-6000.

3010 W. Valencia Road.

THE BAMBOO CLUB 5870 883-8888.

E. Broadway Blvd., No. 524.

FAMOUS SAM’S W. 514-9665.

RUTHRAUFF 2480 W. THE BASHFUL BANDIT 3686 Ruthrauff Road. 292-0492.

E. Speedway Blvd. 795-8996.

FAMOUS SAM’S IRVINGTON BEAU BRUMMEL CLUB 1148 2048 E. Irvington Road.

N. Main Ave. 622-9673.

889-6007.

BEDROXX 4385 W. Ina Road.

FAMOUS SAM’S ORACLE 744-7655.

8058 N. Oracle Road.

531-9464.

BEST WESTERN ROYAL SUN INN AND SUITES 1015 N. FAMOUS SAM’S PIMA 3933 Stone Ave. 622-8871.

E. Pima St. 323-1880.

BLUEFIN SEAFOOD BISTRO FIRE + SPICE Sheraton Hotel 7053 N. Oracle Road. and Suites, 5151 E. Grant 531-8500.

Road. 323-6262.

BOJANGLES SALOON 5244 FLYING V BAR AND GRILL S. Nogales Highway. 889-6161. Loews Ventana Canyon Resort, 7000 N. Resort Drive.

BOONDOCKS LOUNGE 3306 299-2020.

N. First Ave. 690-0991.

FOX AND HOUND BRATS 5975 W. Western Way SMOKEHOUSE AND TAVERN Circle. 578-0341.

Foothills Mall, 7625 N. La BRODIE’S TAVERN 2449 N. Cholla Blvd. 575-1980.

Stone Ave. 622-0447.

BUFFALO WILD WINGS 68 N. FOX TUCSON THEATRE 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515.

Harrison Road. 296-8409.

FROG AND FIRKIN 874 E. CACTUS MOON 5470 E. University Blvd. 623-7507.

Broadway Blvd. 748-0049.

LA FUENTE 1749 N. Oracle CAFÉ PASSÉ 415 N. Fourth Road. 623-8659.

Ave. 624-4411.

FUKU SUSHI 940 E. University CAFE TREMOLO 7401 N. Blvd. 798-3858.

La Cholla Blvd., No. 152.

GENTLE BEN’S BREWING 742-2999.

COMPANY 865 E. University THE CANYON’S CROWN Blvd. 624-4177.

RESTAURANT AND PUB GILLIGAN’S PUB 1308 W. 6958 E. Tanque Verde Road.

Glenn St. 623-3999.

885-8277.

GLASS ONION CAFE 1990 CASA VICENTE W. River Road, Suite 100.

RESTAURANTE ESPAÑOL 293-6050.

375 S. Stone Ave. 884-5253.

GOLD Westward Look Resort, CASCADE LOUNGE Loews 245 E. Ina Road. 917-2930, Ventana Canyon Resort, 7000 ext. 474.

N. Resort Drive. 615-5495.

GOLDEN PIN LANES 1010 W. CHICAGO BAR 5954 E. Miracle Mile. 888-4272.

Speedway Blvd. 748-8169.

THE GRILL AT QUAIL CREEK CLUB CONGRESS 311 E. 1490 Quail Range Loop. Green Congress St. 622-8848.

Valley. 393-5806.

LA COCINA RESTAURANT, GUADALAJARA GRILL EAST CANTINA AND COFFEE BAR 750 N. Kolb Road. 296-1122.

201 N. Court Ave. 622-0351.

GUADALAJARA GRILL WEST COW PALACE 28802 S. Nogales Highway. Amado. (520) 1220 E. Prince Road.

323-1022.

398-1999.

HACIENDA DEL SOL 5601 COW PONY BAR AND GRILL N. Hacienda del Sol Road.

6510 E. Tanque Verde Road.

299-1501.

721-2781.

HANGOVER’S BAR AND CUSHING STREET GRILL 1310 S. Alvernon Way. RESTAURANT AND BAR 198 326-2310.

W. Cushing St. 622-7984.

DELECTABLES RESTAURANT THE HIDEOUT 3000 S. AND CATERING 533 N. Fourth Mission Road. 791-0515.

Ave. 884-9289.

HILDA’S SPORTS BAR 1120 Circulo Mercado. Rio Rico.

THE DEPOT SPORTS BAR (520) 281-9440.

3501 E. Fort Lowell Road.

795-8110.

THE HUT 305 N. Fourth Ave. 623-3200.

DESERT DIAMOND CASINO MONSOON NIGHTCLUB 7350 IBT’S 616 N. Fourth Ave. S. Nogales Highway. 294-7777. 882-3053.

DESERT DIAMOND CASINO IGUANA CAFE 210 E. SPORTS BAR Interstate 19 and Congress St. 882-5140.

Pima Mine Road. 393-2700.

JASPER NEIGHBORHOOD DIABLOS SPORTS BAR AND RESTAURANT AND BAR 6370 GRILL 2545 S. Craycroft Road. N. Campbell Ave., No. 160.

514-9202.

577-0326.

DRIFTWOOD RESTAURANT JAVELINA CANTINA 445 S. AND LOUNGE 2001 S. Alvernon Way. 881-4200, ext.

Craycroft Road. 790-4317.

5373.

DV8 5851 E. Speedway Blvd.

JEFF’S PUB 112 S. Camino 885-3030.

Seco Road. 886-1001.

ECLIPSE AT COLLEGE KINGFISHER BAR AND PLACE 1601 N. Oracle Road.

GRILL 2564 E. Grant Road.

209-2121.

323-7739.

Here is a list of venues that offer live music, dancing, DJ music, karaoke or comedy in the Tucson area. We recommend that you call and confirm all events.

42 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

KON TIKI 4625 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-7193.

LAFFS COMEDY CAFFÉ 2900 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-8669.

LAS CAZUELITAS 1365 W. Grant Road. 206-0405.

LEVEL BAR LOUNGE 4280 N. Campbell Ave., Suite 37.

615-3835.

LI’L ABNER’S STEAKHOUSE 8500 N. Silverbell Road.

744-2800.

LINDY’S AT REDLINE SPORTS GRILL 445 W. Wetmore Road.

888-8084.

LOOKOUT BAR AND GRILLE 245 E. Ina Road. 297-1151.

THE LOOP TASTE OF CHICAGO 10180 N. Oracle Road. 878-0222.

LOVIN’ SPOONFULS VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT 2990 N. Campbell Ave., Suite 120. 325-7766.

LUNA BELLA ITALIAN CUISINE AND CATERING 2990 N. Swan Road, No. 145.

325-3895.

M&L AIRPORT INN BAR AND GRILL 2303 E. Valencia Road.

294-1612.

MALIBU YOGURT AND ICE CREAM 825 E. University Blvd.

903-2340.

MARGARITA BAY 7415 E. 22nd St. 290-8977.

MAVERICK 6622 E. Tanque Verde Road. 298-0430.

MAYNARDS MARKET AND KITCHEN 400 N. Toole Ave. 545-0577.

MCMAHON’S PRIME STEAKHOUSE 2959 N. Swan Road. 327-7463.

MIDTOWN BAR AND GRILL 4915 E. Speedway Blvd.

327-2011.

MINT COCKTAILS 3540 E. Grant Road. 881-9169.

MOONEY’S PUB 1110 S. Sherwood Village Drive.

885-6443.

MR. AN’S TEPPAN STEAK AND SUSHI 6091 N. Oracle Road. 797-0888.

MR. HEAD’S ART GALLERY AND BAR 513 N. Fourth Ave. 792-2710.

MUSIC BOX 6951 E. 22nd St. 747-1421.

NEVADA SMITH’S 1175 W. Miracle Mile. 622-9064.

NORTH 2995 E. Skyline Drive.

299-1600.

O’MALLEY’S 247 N. Fourth Ave. 623-8600.

OLD FATHER INN 4080 W. Ina Road. Marana. 744-1200.

OLD PUEBLO GRILLE 60 N. Alvernon Way. 326-6000.

OLD TUBAC INN RESTAURANT AND SALOON 7 Plaza Road. Tubac. (520) 398-3161.

ON A ROLL 63 E. Congress St. 622-7655.

THE ONYX ROOM 106 W. Drachman St. 620-6699.

ORACLE INN 305 E. American Ave. Oracle. 896-3333.

O’SHAUGHNESSY’S 2200 N. Camino Principal. 296-7464.

PARADISO BAR AND LOUNGE Casino Del Sol, 5655 W. Valencia Road.

(800) 344-9435.

LA PARRILLA SUIZA 2720 N. Oracle Road. 624-4300.

PEARSON’S PUB 1120 S. Wilmot Road. 747-2181.

PLUSH 340 E. Sixth St. 798-1298.

PUTNEY’S 6090 N. Oracle Road. 575-1767.

RPM NIGHTCLUB 445 W. Wetmore Road. 869-6098.

RA SUSHI BAR RESTAURANT 2905 E. Skyline Drive.

615-3970.

RAGING SAGE COFFEE ROASTERS 2458 N. Campbell Ave. 320-5203.

LE RENDEZ-VOUS 3844 E. Fort Lowell Road. 323-7373.

RIALTO THEATRE 318 E. Congress St. 740-1000.

RIC’S CAFE/RESTAURANT 5605 E. River Road.

577-7272.

RIVER’S EDGE LOUNGE 4635 N. Flowing Wells Road.

887-9027.

RJ’S REPLAYS SPORTS PUB AND GRUB 5769 E. Speedway Blvd. 495-5136.

THE ROCK 136 N. Park Ave. 629-9211.

ROYAL SUN INN AND SUITES 1015 N. Stone Ave. 622-8871.

RUNWAY BAR AND GRILL 2101 S. Alvernon Way. 790-6788.

RUSTY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT AND SPORTS GRILLE 2075 W. Grant Road.

623-3363.

SAKURA 6534 E. Tanque Verde Road. 298-7777.

SALTY DAWG II 6121 E. Broadway Blvd., No. 106.

790-3294.

SAM HUGHES PLACE CHAMPIONSHIP DINING 446 N. Campbell Ave. 747-5223.

SAPPHIRE LOUNGE 61 E. Congress St. 624-9100.

SHARKS 256 E. Congress St. 791-9869.

SHERATON HOTEL AND SUITES 5151 E. Grant Road.

323-6262.

SHOOTERS STEAKHOUSE AND SALOON 3115 E. Prince Road. 322-0779.

SHOT IN THE DARK CAFÉ 121 E. Broadway Blvd.

882-5544.

SINBAD’S FINE MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE 810 E. University Ave. 623-4010.

SKRAPPY’S 191 E. Toole Ave. 358-4287.

SKY BAR 536 N. Fourth Ave. 622-4300.

THE SKYBOX RESTAURANT AND SPORTS BAR 5605 E. River Road. 529-7180.

SOLAR CULTURE 31 E. Toole Ave. 884-0874.

STADIUM GRILL 3682 W. Orange Grove Road. Marana.

877-8100.

STOCKMEN’S LOUNGE 1368 W. Roger Road. 887-2529.

SUITE 147 AT PLAZA PALOMINO 2970 N. Swan Road, No. 147. 440-4455.

SULLIVAN’S STEAK HOUSE 1785 E. River Road.

299-4275.

SURLY WENCH PUB 424 N. Fourth Ave. 882-0009.

TANQUE VERDE RANCH 14301 E. Speedway Blvd.

296-6275.

TERRY AND ZEKE’S 4603 E. Speedway Blvd. 325-3555.

UNICORN SPORTS LOUNGE 8060 E. 22nd St., No. 118.

722-6900.

V FINE THAI 9 E. Congress St. 882-8143.

VAUDEVILLE 110 E. Congress St. 622-3535.

VERONA ITALIAN RESTAURANT 120 S. Houghton Road. 722-2722.

VOYAGER RV RESORT 8701 S. Kolb Road. 574-5000.

WHISKEY TANGO 140 S. Kolb Road. 344-8843.

WILD BILL’S STEAKHOUSE AND SALOON 5910 N. Oracle Road. none.

WILDCAT HOUSE 1801 N. Stone Ave. 622-1302.

WINGS-PIZZA-N-THINGS 8838 E. Broadway Blvd.

722-9663.

WISDOM’S CAFÉ 1931 E. Frontage Road. Tumacacori.

398-2397.

WOODEN NICKEL 1908 S. Country Club Road. 323-8830.

WOODY’S 3710 N. Oracle Road. 292-6702.

ZEN ROCK 121 E. Congress St. 624-9100.

THU DEC 8 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Bob Linesch The Auld Dubliner Live local music Beer Belly’s Pub Open jam Boondocks Lounge Ed DeLucia Band Cactus Moon Los Gallegos and Robert Moreno Café Passé Jeff Grubic and Naim Amor Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Classical guitar Cascade Lounge Doug Martin Chicago Bar Neon Prophet La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Stefan George, Peach Kelli Pop, Lenguas Largas Eddies Cocktails Cass Preston and His Band Fire + Spice Live jazz with Prime Examples La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live mariachi music Hacienda del Sol Nick Stanley The Hut Kristopher Roe of the Ataris Las Cazuelitas Live music Lindy’s at Redline Sports Grill The Retro Rockets Maverick Flipside McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Susan Artemis O’Malley’s Live music On a Roll Live music The Onyx Room Larry Loud and George Howard O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer Paradiso Bar and Lounge Don’t Look Back (Boston tribute) Plush Forrest Fallows RPM Nightclub 80’s and Gentlemen Rialto Theatre The Wailers, Lee Scratch Party, Spirit Familia Sakura EQ Sheraton Hotel and Suites Prime Example Skrappy’s Protest the Hero Sky Bar Live music Solar Culture Ocote Soul Sounds Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Wild Bill’s Steakhouse and Saloon Wild Oats

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC The Bamboo Club Karaoke with DJ Tony G Bedroxx Karaoke with DJ Chubbz Bojangles Saloon Buffalo Wild Wings Tucson’s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean The Depot Sports Bar El Charro Café Sahuarita Famous Sam’s Silverbell Amazing Star karaoke Famous Sam’s Valencia Gilligan’s Pub Glass Onion Cafe Open mic Golden Pin Lanes Karaoke and music videos with DJ Adonis Hilda’s Sports Bar M&L Airport Inn Bar and Grill Margarita Bay Mooney’s Pub Open mic Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Cutthroat Karaoke Music Box Karaoke with AJ River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y Not Karaoke Stadium Grill Karaoke, dance music and music videos with DJ Tigger Voyager RV Resort Karaoke with the Tucson Twosome

DANCE/DJ Azul Restaurant Lounge DJ spins ’80s music Club Congress The Optimist Club Diablos Sports Bar and Grill XLevel DJs Eclipse at College Place DJ spins music Gentle Ben’s Brewing Company DJ spins music The Hideout Fiesta DJs IBT’s DJ spins music Javelina Cantina DJ M. Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music Sapphire Lounge Salsa night Sharks DJ Aspen If you would like your band, club or solo act to be listed, send all pertinent times, dates, prices and places to: Club Listings, Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726. Fax listings to 792-2096. Or e-mail us at clubs@tucsonweekly.com. Deadline to receive listings information is noon on Friday, seven days before the Thursday publication date. For display advertising information, call 294-1200.

Surly Wench Pub Clean Cut with DJ Natalia Unicorn Sports Lounge Y Not Entertainment Zen Rock DJ Kidd Kutz

COMEDY Laffs Comedy Caffé Open mic

FRI DEC 9 LIVE MUSIC Amado Territory Steakhouse Becky Reyes featuring Scott Muhleman Arizona Inn Dennis Reed The Bamboo Club Live music The Bashful Bandit Live music Bluefin Seafood Bistro George Howard Duo Bojangles Saloon Live music Boondocks Lounge Neon Prophet Cactus Moon Robert Moreno Cafe Tremolo William Tell and Patrick Caulley The Canyon’s Crown Restaurant and Pub Live music Cascade Lounge Doug Martin Chicago Bar The AmoSphere Club Congress A(r)T Your Service: Vinyl Baron, Sweet Pea and the Bean, Louise Le Hir, Heady Spaghetti La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Greg Morton Delectables Restaurant and Catering Nowhere Man and a Whiskey Girl Eclipse at College Place Live music Eddies Cocktails Dust Devils El Mezón del Cobre Mariachi Azteca El Parador Descarga, Salsarengue, Tito y Su Nuevo Son Famous Sam’s E. Golf Links Shell Shock La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente Glass Onion Cafe The Golden Child The Grill at Quail Creek Paul McGuffin Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Freddy Vesely, Gabriel Ayala and Will Clipman The Hideout Grupo la Madrid The Hut The Green Lady Killers, The Necronauts, Source Victoria, Roadrunner Gunner Jasper Neighborhood Restaurant and Bar Puca Las Cazuelitas Mariachis

Li’l Abner’s Steakhouse Arizona Dance Hands Lindy’s at Redline Sports Grill Midlife Crisis The Loop Taste of Chicago The Bishop/Nelly Duo Lovin’ Spoonfuls Vegetarian Restaurant Elisabeth Blin Luna Bella Italian Cuisine and Catering Eleanor Winston Maverick Flipside McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky Mint Cocktails Live music Mooney’s Pub Roadrunner Gunner Mr. An’s Teppan Steak and Sushi Los Cubanos Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Collin Shook Trio Old Father Inn Live music Oracle Inn Greg Spivey Band O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer Paradiso Bar and Lounge 5 de Lay La Parrilla Suiza Mariachi music Plush Hank Topless, Kinky Friedman Rialto Theatre Cake Ric’s Cafe/Restaurant Live music River’s Edge Lounge Neil Russell RJ’s Replays Sports Pub and Grub The Railbirds The Rock Fortunate Youth, The Simpkin Project, Something Like Seduction, Tom Sellers, The Unforgivables, Three White Lies, Sushi Live Child Shot in the Dark Café Mark Bockel The Skybox Restaurant and Sports Bar 80’s and Gentlemen Stadium Grill Live music Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Surly Wench Pub Devil Doll, Moonlight Howlers, El Camino Royales V Fine Thai The Quartet Whiskey Tango Vintage Sugar Wild Bill’s Steakhouse and Saloon Beau Renfro and Clear Country Woody’s Susan Artemis

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC Bedroxx Open mic Best Western Royal Sun Inn and Suites Karaoke with DJ Richard Brats Brodie’s Tavern Cow Palace Karaoke with DJ Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Famous Sam’s Oracle Chubb Rock with Ray Brennan Famous Sam’s Pima IBT’s Karaoke with Troy St. John Iguana Cafe

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

TuCsONWEEKLY

43

FRI DEC 9

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 43

Jeff’s Pub Kustom Karaoke Margarita Bay Midtown Bar and Grill Putney’s Karaoke, dance music and music videos with DJ Soup Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y Not Karaoke Salty Dawg II Tucson’s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Stockmen’s Lounge Terry and Zeke’s Wings-Pizza-N-Things YNot Entertainment

DANCE/DJ The Auld Dubliner DJ spins music Azul Restaurant Lounge Ladies and Lyrics Night: DJ spins music Bedroxx DJ spins music Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Flamenco guitar and dance show Desert Diamond Casino Monsoon Nightclub Groove with 106.3 Desert Diamond Casino Sports Bar Fright night party Diablos Sports Bar and Grill XLevel DJs DV8 Planet Q Live with Chris P. and JoJo El Charro Café Sahuarita DJ spins music El Charro Café on Broadway DJ spins R&B El Parador Salsa dance lessons with Jeannie Tucker Famous Sam’s Valencia DJ spins music

Fuku Sushi DJ spins music Hangover’s Bar and Grill DJ spins music IBT’s DJ spins music Javelina Cantina DJ M. Level Bar Lounge DJ Rivera Lindy’s at Redline Sports Grill DJ spins music M&L Airport Inn Bar and Grill DJ Big Surge Maynards Market and Kitchen DJ spins music Music Box ’80s and more NoRTH DJ spins music O’Malley’s DJ Dibs The Onyx Room DJ Mista T Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music Sapphire Lounge Flashback Fridays with DJ Sid the Kid Sinbad’s Fine Mediterranean Cuisine DJ spins music Sky Bar Hot Era party Unicorn Sports Lounge Y Not Entertainment Vaudeville Ill Styles with Sugarman and Roc Wildcat House Top 40 dance mix Wooden Nickel DJ spins music Woody’s Tori Steele’s Cover Girl Revue Zen Rock DJ Kidd Kutz

COMEDY Club Congress Neil Hamburger Laffs Comedy Caffé Patrick DeGuire

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Arizona Inn Dennis Reed The Bashful Bandit Tumblin’ Dice Bluefin Seafood Bistro The LP’s String Trio Bojangles Saloon Live music Boondocks Lounge The Last Call Girls, The Maxwells Café Passé Elephant Head Trio Cafe Tremolo Corey Spector Cascade Lounge George Howard Chicago Bar Neon Prophet La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Ferrodyne Cow Pony Bar and Grill DJ spins music Cushing Street Restaurant and Bar Live jazz Delectables Restaurant and Catering Live music Desert Diamond Casino Monsoon Nightclub Lucky Break Driftwood Restaurant and Lounge Live music Eclipse at College Place Live music Eddies Cocktails Classic rock ’n’ roll El Charro Café Sahuarita Live salsa band El Mezón del Cobre Mariachi Azteca El Parador Descarga, Salsarengue, Tito y Su Nuevo Son Famous Sam’s E. Golf Links Live music Fire + Spice Tucson Jazz Institute Flying V Bar and Grill Domingo DeGrazia Fox Tucson Theatre X La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente Gold Live music Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Freddy Vesely, Rillito River Band The Hideout Los Bandidos The Hut Slick 46, Bricktop Iguana Cafe The Benjamins Jasper Neighborhood Restaurant and Bar Birk’s Works Kingfisher Bar and Grill John Ronstadt and Matt Mitchell Las Cazuelitas Mariachis Li’l Abner’s Steakhouse Arizona Dance Hands Lookout Bar and Grille Live acoustic Maverick The Jack Bishop Band McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky Mooney’s Pub Live music Mr. An’s Teppan Steak and Sushi The Bishop/Nelly Duo Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Collin Shook Trio O’Malley’s Live music Old Pueblo Grille Live music Old Tubac Inn Restaurant and Saloon Haywire Oracle Inn Gone Country Band O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer Paradiso Bar and Lounge Sol Down La Parrilla Suiza Mariachi music Plush Snakes in Love, Love Mound, Sugar Stains Ric’s Cafe/Restaurant Live music River’s Edge Lounge Genre X The Rock Toys for Tots 2: Light Her Up, Always Enslaved, Sink the Titanic, Wrathgate, Lethal Dosage, Our Daily Trespasses, Headrust, We Killed the Union, From the Balcony to the Floor Sakura The Equinox Band Sheraton Hotel and Suites Tucson Jazz Institute Skrappy’s Man Jr., Animal Eyes, Dr. Meatpie, Luke Henley Sky Bar Standing Shadows, The Modeens Solar Culture Chase Euerle, Daniel Todd Carter Stadium Grill Live music Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Tanque Verde Ranch Live music V Fine Thai Phony Bennett Whiskey Tango Live music Wisdom’s Café Prova

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC

Best Western Royal Sun Inn and Suites Karaoke with DJ Richard Brats The Depot Sports Bar Elbow Room Famous Sam’s Silverbell Amazing Star karaoke Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Famous Sam’s Oracle Chubb Rock with Ray Brennan Famous Sam’s Pima The Grill at Quail Creek Hangover’s Bar and Grill IBT’s Amazing Star Entertainment Jeff’s Pub Kustom Karaoke The Loop Taste of Chicago Karaoke, dance music and videos with DJ Juliana Margarita Bay Midtown Bar and Grill Nevada Smith’s Old Father Inn Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y Not Karaoke Stockmen’s Lounge Terry and Zeke’s

The Bashful Bandit Y-Not Karaoke Club Congress Club Karaoke Cow Pony Bar and Grill Diablos Sports Bar and Grill Elbow Room Open mic Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Family karaoke The Hideout IBT’s Amazing Star Entertainment Margarita Bay Mint Cocktails Open mic Mooney’s Pub Putney’s Karaoke, dance music and music videos with DJ Soup River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David Salty Dawg II Tucson’s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon The Skybox Restaurant and Sports Bar Karaoke and music videos with Jamie J DJ Stockmen’s Lounge Whiskey Tango Karaoke and dance music with DJ Tigger Wooden Nickel Woody’s

DANCE/DJ The Auld Dubliner DJ spins music Bedroxx DJ spins music Brodie’s Tavern Latino Night Cactus Moon Line-dance lesson Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Flamenco guitar and dance show Club Congress Bang! Bang! dance party La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar DJ Herm Desert Diamond Casino Sports Bar Saturday Night Party Diablos Sports Bar and Grill XLevel DJs El Charro Café on Broadway DJ Soo Latin mix El Parador Salsa dance lessons with Jeannie Tucker Famous Sam’s Valencia DJ spins music Gentle Ben’s Brewing Company DJ spins music IBT’s DJ spins music, Saturday Starlets Drag Show Lindy’s at Redline Sports Grill DJ spins music M&L Airport Inn Bar and Grill DJ Caliente Music Box ’80s and more On a Roll DJ Aspen Rusty’s Family Restaurant and Sports Grille DJ Obi Wan Kenobi Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music Sapphire Lounge DJ 64, DJ Phil Sharks DJ Chucky Chingon Sinbad’s Fine Mediterranean Cuisine Belly dancing with Emma Jeffries and friends Sky Bar Hot Era party Wildcat House Tejano dance mix Wooden Nickel DJ spins music Woody’s DJ Michael Lopez Zen Rock DJ Kidd Kutz

COMEDY Laffs Comedy Caffé Patrick DeGuire Rialto Theatre Doug Stanhope, Neil Hamburger, Henry Phillips, Lynn Shawcroft, Brody Stevens, Brendon Walsh, Garrett Staab, Nowhere Man and a Whiskey Girl

DANCE/DJ Fox and Hound Smokehouse and Tavern Team Trivia with DJ Joker IBT’s DJ spins music Kon Tiki DJ Century Level Bar Lounge DJ Phatal Ra Sushi Bar Restaurant DJs spin music Runway Bar and Grill Singing, drumming DJ Bob Kay plays oldies Shot in the Dark Café DJ Artice presents Power Ballad Sundays

MON DEC 12 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Dennis Reed Boondocks Lounge Bryan Dean Trio Chicago Bar The Ronstadts Club Congress Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, Electric Blankets, ... music video?

Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Nick Stanley The Hut Cadillac Mountain hosts bluegrass open-mic Kingfisher Bar and Grill Stefan George Las Cazuelitas Live music McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse David Prouty Plush Philip Borzillo Rialto Theatre Brian Setzer’s Rockabilly Riot Sullivan’s Steak House Live music

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC

SUN DEC 11

The Auld Dubliner Margarita Bay O’Malley’s River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Whiskey Tango Kustom Karaoke Wooden Nickel

LIVE MUSIC

DANCE/DJ

Arizona Inn Dennis Reed Armitage Wine Lounge and Café Ryanhood The Auld Dubliner Irish jam session The Bashful Bandit Sunday Jam with the Deacon Beau Brummel Club R&B jam session Boondocks Lounge Van Dykes Chicago Bar Larry Diehl Band La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Elisabeth Blin Driftwood Restaurant and Lounge Live music Eddies Cocktails Dust Devils La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente The Grill at Quail Creek Paul McGuffin Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Freddy Vesely The Hut Grateful Dead-inspired songs by Mike and Randy Las Cazuelitas Live music Li’l Abner’s Steakhouse Titan Valley Warheads McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse David Prouty Old Pueblo Grille Live music O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer Plush Muddy Bug Raging Sage Coffee Roasters Paul Oman Suite 147 at Plaza Palomino Jo Wilkinson and Grains of Sand Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Verona Italian Restaurant Melody Louise

Club Congress DJ Sid the Kid IBT’s DJ spins music Surly Wench Pub Black Monday with DJ Matt McCoy and guests

TUE DEC 13 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Bob Linesch Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Live Spanish guitar Chicago Bar Jive Bombers Fire + Spice Tucson Jazz Institute Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live mariachi music Hacienda del Sol Nick Stanley Las Cazuelitas Live music McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Susan Artemis Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Open jazz and blues jam O’Malley’s Tucson Musician Club holiday music show Plush The Littlest Birds Sheraton Hotel and Suites Arizona Roadrunners Sky Bar Jazz Telephone Stadium Grill Open jam

CONTINUED ON PAGE 46

NINE QUESTIONS

PUB

Peter Newbegin Peter Newbegin is the program coordinator for employment and economic development at the International Rescue Committee, a non-governmental organization in Tucson working with the U.S. Department of State to aid and resettle political refugees. He writes short stories and love songs for secret performances at porch shows.

Stephen Seigel, musiced@tucsonweekly.com

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What musical act, current or defunct, would you most like to see perform live?

Leonard Cohen in 1975, before (Phil) Spector ruined it with all that other crap.

Musically speaking, what is your favorite guilty pleasure?

Garth Brooks, with a dash of Rihanna.

What song would you like to have played at your funeral?

The march from the end of “Two-Headed Boy.” What band or artist changed your life, and how?

Eef Barzelay of Clem Snide taught me that every word is important; every note counts; and the end is near for all of us.

Figurative gun to your head, what is your favorite album of all time?

The Ghost of Fashion by Clem Snide travels with me in every stage of my life through every journey I’ve taken since it was released. I love it so goddamn much.

1 218

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Tamaryn, Warpaint, and Field Trips (from Oakland, Calif.).

What artist, genre or musical trend does everyone seem to love, but you just don’t get?

I really, really hate Bright Eyes. I would stab him if I ever got close enough, but I wouldn’t ever get close enough, so I probably won’t stab him. The next time a 16-year-old starts complaining about his rough life and broken heart, somebody get him a job at a steel mill instead of a record deal.

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My mom took me to see Weird Al open for the Monkees (minus Nesmith).

What was the first album you owned?

Nirvana’s Nevermind. I remember telling my friends that I already had Bleach, but that was a lie. I went and bought it later, but it made me sound cooler, which was the point when I was 12.

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 44

Sullivanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Steak House Live music V Fine Thai Trio V Whiskey Tango Karaoke and music videos with DJ Tigger

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC The Auld Dubliner Open mic with DJ Odious Beau Brummel Club Cactus Tune Entertainment with Fireman Bob Beer Bellyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub Famous Samâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s W. Ruthrauff Jeffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub Kustom Karaoke M&L Airport Inn Bar and Grill Malibu Yogurt and Ice Cream Open mic Margarita Bay Music Box Karaoke with AJ Old Father Inn Riverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David Salty Dawg II Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean Sharks Karaoke with DJ Tequila Terry and Zekeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

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Club Congress All Dubstep Night: PC Party IBTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DJ spins music Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music

WED DEC 14 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Bob Linesch The Bamboo Club Melody Louise Trio Bojangles Saloon Live music CafĂŠ PassĂŠ Glen Gross Quartet Cascade Lounge Gabriel Romo Chicago Bar Bad News Blues Band Club Congress Texas Trash and the Trainwrecks La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Elephant Head Cow Pony Bar and Grill Jay Faircloth Eddies Cocktails Dust Devils Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Nick Stanley Las Cazuelitas Live music

McMahonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Prime Steakhouse Susan Artemis Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Shaughnessyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Live pianist and singer Plush Naim Amor Raging Sage Coffee Roasters Paul Oman Le Rendez-Vous Elisabeth Blin Shot in the Dark CafĂŠ Open mic Sullivanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Steak House Live music Tanque Verde Ranch Live music V Fine Thai Matt Mitchell and Bruce Halper

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC Beer Bellyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean Brats La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Rock Star Karaoke with the Jim Howell Band Diablos Sports Bar and Grill Tequila DJ karaoke show Famous Samâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Broadway Famous Samâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s E. Golf Links Kustom Karaoke Famous Samâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s W. Ruthrauff Famous Samâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Irvington Fox and Hound Smokehouse and Tavern Karaoke, dance music and music videos with DJ Tony G Frog and Firkin Singâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n with Scotty P. Gentle Benâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brewing Company Y Not Entertainment with Trish Hangoverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar and Grill Margarita Bay Mint Cocktails Karaoke with Rosemary Mooneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub Music Box Karaoke with AJ On a Roll Pearsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub Amazing Star karaoke Putneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Karaoke, dance music and music videos with DJ Soup Riverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David RJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Replays Sports Pub and Grub Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Sky Bar Open mic with DJ Odious

DANCE/DJ Cactus Moon Country dance lesson Casa Vicente Restaurante EspaĂąol Tango classes and dancing The Hideout Fiesta DJs IBTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DJ spins music Level Bar Lounge Big Brother Beats M&L Airport Inn Bar and Grill DJ Big Surge Rustyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Family Restaurant and Sports Grille Sid the Kid Sharks DJ Chucky Chingon Sinbadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fine Mediterranean Cuisine DJ Spencer Thomas and friends Woodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Latin music with Scott and Estevan

Marty Kool has been spinning blues on KXCI FM 91.3â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Saturday-night Blues Review for more than 25 years. As charter members of the original Tucson Blues Society, and more recently the Southern Arizona Blues Heritage Foundation, he and his wife, Mary, are significant and beloved icons within the local blues community. It was no surprise, then, to see almost 300 strong pack the Boondocks on a cold and rainy night to raise funds for family medical bills.

Kudos to Gary Mackender for putting together an all-star lineup that included Tall Paul, Grams and Krieger, and Stefan George holding things together for the early portion of a show that began at 6 p.m. However, it was Mitzi Cowell and the Valiantsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;unheralded in that they have not been invited to any of the annual blues festsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;who ignited the show with a blistering set of originals and covers.

With Sidney George on tenor sax, Mackender on drums and Nick Augustine on bass, they were joined by surprise guest vocalist and Tucson expatriate Cantrell Maryott on â&#x20AC;&#x153;Black Cat Boneâ&#x20AC;? and Cowellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original â&#x20AC;&#x153;Painting Mailboxes.â&#x20AC;?

The Valiants were followed by the Bryan Dean Trio. Dean peppered his all-originals set with a host of tunes from his soon-to-bereleased CD. His set was followed by Heather Hardy and Sabra Faulk fronting a makeshift band that also included Mackender and Cowell. A combination of 12-bar shuffles, slow blues and Hardy originals, their set also featured great harmonies between Hardy and Faulk. (Great sound was showcased throughout, courtesy of soundman Mark LaVeer.)

The night concluded with a set from Tony and the Torpedoes, who donated this, their monthly Boondocks gig, to the cause.

Frontman and guitarist Tony Uribe was generous in sharing his stage and his solos with Hardy on electric violin, Chris Leonard on guitar, and guest Clark Engelbert, from the AmoSphere, also on guitar. Uribe mentioned his 30-year friendship with the Kools and was clearly moved when he dedicated â&#x20AC;&#x153;In the Evening (When the Sun Goes Down)â&#x20AC;? to them. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m in radio, so I really donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get to see anybody,â&#x20AC;? Marty Kool remarked, somewhat overwhelmed toward the end of a night that he and Mary will long cherish.

Jim Lipson mailbag@tucsonweekly.com

RHYTHM & VIEWS Love Mound

The Fall

The Resonars

The Noose, the Tree, and the Desert Sky

Ersatz GB

Bright and Dark

CHERRY RED

BURGER

The late, great British disc jockey John Peel once commented that the Fall, his favorite band, were always different, always the same. On his 29th studio album, Mark E. Smith (post-punk’s Keith Richards) leads the current version of his band through a mediocre set that could easily be outtakes from their last three albums. Peel would be disappointed.

One key element of great Fall albums is the tension between Smith’s brash, speaksinging style, and his band’s instrumentation. The excellent players accommodating him over the years gave the band the confidence to take chances and challenge their audience; see 1982’s Hex Enduction Hour and 1985’s This Nation’s Saving Grace for evidence. Unfortunately, Smith—having gone through approximately 60 band members since 1976—is one tough boss who now seems to need to rely on whoever will put up with his notoriously autocratic style.

While they seem proficient enough, Smith’s latest bandmates (including his current wife, Elena Poulou, on keyboards) seem content to simply lock themselves into a repetitive groove and let Smith do his thing. And his “thing” has progressed into a barking, gargling set of angry statements (“I’m so sick of Snow Patrol,” etc.). It’s the same approach as on the band’s last few records, with nothing approaching 2005’s great Fall Heads Roll.

It may seem like a strange suggestion, but Mark E. Smith should fire his band (and whoever is responsible for the cover art) and start over. It’s the only consistent thing he’s got going for him at this point.

Brian Mock

Among Tucson’s musical secrets are the Resonars.

While the revolving roster of musicians led by songwriter Matt Rendon has languished in relative obscurity for more than 10 years, the band has consistently released a cache of albums that constitute a superlative source of ’60sstyle harmonies and poplaced psychedelia. They are a “he/she likes me” kind of secret, not a cockroach-atthe-bottom-of-a-Chinesefood-container one.

Bright and Dark, the band’s second album, from 1999, has been remastered and re-released by California punk and retro label Burger Records. The album is rich with thick layers of upbeat psychedelic riffs framing vocal harmonies reminiscent of The Hollies. The album’s retro fit is enhanced by universal conceits that make Resonars’ songs a cut above the average revival band.

“If He’s So Great” is a punk-tempo tribute to the frustration of women digging jerks: “You say he gives you everything a little girl could need / but if he’s so great, why are you cryin’?” “Marina” and “Goodbye Melanie” prove that great songs can still be written about unrequited love, with excellent pop lyrics set to the tune of jangly guitars that bring to mind Revolver-era Beatles.

Burger Records is the label responsible for the Resonars’ 2008 modern psych classic That Evil Drone. Bright and Dark shows that the band started on a high note. These 12-year-old songs take direction from a 50-year-old musical movement and sound timeless.

Billups Allen

HOVER TANK

A critic’s bag of clichés spills open when one attempts to describe the big-bang thunder and primal thrust of Love Mound. But that’s probably because the local trio incorporates the spirit and sound of many renowned headbangin’ bands—from Black Sabbath to Queens of the Stone Age—and, in the process, carves a unique slice of hard rock from the traditions that preceded it.

Judging from this new nine-song CD, Love Mound looks for inspiration perhaps most respectfully in the proto-metal and psychedelic blues of Jimi Hendrix, although guitarist Mike Mihina seems to favor Hendrix’s monster riffs (best example: “Black Mountain”) over psychotronic leads, rarely indulging in solos of longer than a few seconds. He deserves credit for his tasteful restraint; you could call it a no-wank zone.

Here, the arrangements are as important as the generous riffage. The embarrassing wealth of snarling guitar, slapping bottom (courtesy of bassist Chris Mihina) and refreshingly limber rhythms (thanks to drummer James Mayer) all dovetail together in a soulful groove. The result is a refreshingly pleasing listen, punctuated by tasty sonic treats, from the Alice in Chains thud of “Black Is the River” to the T. Rexinfluenced blues-glam stutter of “The Quick and the Dead” to the Southern-fried boogierock bridge on “Outlaws We’ll Ride.”

Gene Armstrong Love Mound play a CD-release gig at 9:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, at Plush, 340 E. Sixth St. Also on the bill: Sugar Stains (also sporting a new EP) and Snakes in Love; $5; 798-1298.

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MEDICAL MJ A move by two governors to reclassify marijuana for medical use does not impress J.M.

OďŹ&#x20AC; Schedule

BY J.M. SMITH, jsmith@tucsonweekly.com am not a huge fan of schedules, as my editors can attest.

Schedules by their nature restrict and squeeze and coerce us, sometimes in uncomfortable ways that we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really think about when we penciled in the appointments. I avoid them when I can.

So when two governorsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Christine Gregoire of Washington, and Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;petitioned the Drug Enforcement Administration on Nov. 30 to move marijuana from Schedule I to Schedule II under the Controlled Substances Act, I cringed a little.

The governors cite growing scientiďŹ c evidence that pot doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t deserve to rub elbows with heroin, LSD and ecstasy, and that it should be allowed in pharmacies by prescription like methamphetamine and cocaine. Yes, you can legally get a prescription for those Schedule II drugs.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t disagree with the reasons why they

I

want marijuana rescheduled. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just not so sure itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the right move in the scheme of things.

The Controlled Substances Act was created in 1970 to do exactly what is saysâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;control substances. The law divides drugs into ďŹ ve categories with varying degrees of regulation and control.

Schedule I was reserved for drugs with no medical use, including pot and peyote. Drugs in Schedules II-V can be prescribed by doctors and dispensed by pharmacies. Schedule II includes Dilaudid, OxyContin, Demerol, cocaine (which is approved as a topical anesthetic) and methamphetamine (which is available under the brand name Desoxyn to treat obesity and ADHD).

There are basically three criteria for Schedule I: lack of medical use, lack of medical safety and high potential for abuse. The governors cite evidence pot has medical value and argue that it has a low potential for abuse compared to other

Schedule II drugs. They cite a shift in the medical community since a 2006 federal review.

In 2008, the American College of Physicians urged consideration of moving marijuana from Schedule I. In 2009, the American Medical Association followed suit. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to look at marijuana anew, the governors say.

This isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the ďŹ rst time smart people have tried to bump marijuana oďŹ&#x20AC; Schedule I. In 1972, just two years after the Controlled Substances Act took eďŹ&#x20AC;ect, the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) tried. That case eventually went to court and NORML was denied in 1994. Jon Gettman, a former NORML president, asked again in 1995. It took until 2001 for the feds to reject that plea.

In 2002, Gettman formed the Coalition for Rescheduling Cannabis for yet another attempt.

The rejection of that petition this past June sparked the governorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; try.

The rejection was based on medical science

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from 2006, and the governors think new science refutes the ďŹ nding that there is no medical use for pot. Doctors in 16 states and the District of Columbia are successfully and eďŹ&#x20AC;ectively treating a broad spectrum of illnesses with it.

This latest attempt seems a little weightier, since there are chief executives involved. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a picture of George Washington on the letterhead, for godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake. That might carry a little more heft than NORML, which conjures images of aging hippies and the days of Cheech and Chong. Daveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not here, man. So maybe the governors have a better chance.

But I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a bad idea. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really want to need to get marijuana from a pharmacy. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to need to make doctor appointments or ďŹ ll prescriptions. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want the Great American Drug Machine involved in my medication, so I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want it on Schedule I or II or IV or V. I would rather just grow my own. On my own schedule.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life? To answer that question is your first assignment. It’s OK if you can’t decide between the three or four most beautiful things. What’s important is to keep visions of those amazements dancing in the back of your mind for the next few days. Play with them in your imagination.

Feel the feelings they rouse in you as you muse about the delights they have given you. Regard them as beacons that will attract other ravishing marvels into your sphere. Now here’s your second assignment: Be alert for and go hunting for a new “most beautiful thing.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Not to dream boldly may turn out to be irresponsible,” said educator George Leonard. I certainly think that will be true for you in the coming months, Taurus. In my astrological opinion, you have a sacred duty not only to yourself, but also to the people you care about, to use your imagination more aggressively and expressively as you contemplate what might lie ahead for you.

You simply cannot afford to remain safely ensconced within your comfort zone, shielded from the big ideas and tempting fantasies that have started calling and calling and calling to you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Researchers at the University of Oregon claim that in certain circumstances, they can make water flow uphill (tinyurl.com/UphillFlow). I’m not qualified to evaluate their evidence, but I do know that in the coming week, you will have the power to accomplish the metaphorical equivalent of what they say they did. Don’t squander this magic on trivial matters, please, Gemini. Use it to facilitate a transformation that’s important to your long-term well-being.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Dear Rob: Is there any way to access your horoscope archives going back to 1943? I’m writing a novel about World War II and need to see your astrological writings from back then. —Creative Cancerian. Dear Creative: To be honest, I wasn’t writing horoscopes back in 1943, since I wasn’t anywhere near being born yet. On the other hand, I give you permission to make stuff up for your novel and say I wrote it back in 1943. Most of you Cancerians have good

50 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

imaginations about the past, and you’re currently going through a phase when that talent is amplified. While you’re tinkering with my history, have fun with yours, too.

This is an excellent time for members of your tribe to breathe new life and fresh spin into a whole slew of your own personal memories.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): At Chow.com, food critic L. Nightshade gathered “The 78 Most Annoying Words to Read in a Restaurant Review.” Among the worst offenders: “meltingly tender,” “yummilicious,” “crazy delicious,” “orgasmic,” “I have seen God,” “symphony of flavors” and “party in your mouth.” I understand the reluctance of any serious wordsmith to resort to such predictable language in crafting an appraisal of restaurant fare, but I don’t mind borrowing it to hint at your immediate future. What you experience may be more like a “party in your head” than a “party in your mouth,” and “crazy delicious” may describe events and adventures rather than flavors, per se. But I think you’re in for a yummilicious time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In “Nan You’re a Window Shopper,” British recording artist Lily Allen sings, “The bottom feels so much better than the top.” She means it ironically; the person she’s describing in the song is neurotic and insecure. But in using that declaration as a theme for your horoscope this week—the bottom feels so much better than the top—I mean it sincerely. What you have imagined as being high, superior or uppermost may turn out to be mediocre, illusory or undesirable.

Conversely, a state of affairs that you once considered to be low, beneath your notice or not valuable could become rather interesting. And if you truly open your mind to the possibilities, it may even evolve into something that’s quite useful.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Emily Rubin invited authors to write about a specific theme for a literary reading she organized in New York last September: stains. “What is your favorite stain?” she asked prospective participants, enticing them to imagine a stain as a good thing, or at least as an interesting twist. Included in her own list were chocolate, candle wax, lipstick, grass, mud, wine and tomato sauce.

What are yours, Libra? This would be an

excellent time to sing the praises of your best-loved or most-provocative blotches, splotches and smirches—and have fun stirring up some new ones.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Mickey Mouse is a Scorpio, born Nov. 18, 1928.

Bugs Bunny is a Leo, coming into the world on July 27, 1940. In their long and storied careers, these two iconic cartoon heroes have made only one joint appearance. It was in the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. They got equal billing and spoke the same number of words. I’m predicting that a comparable event will soon take place in your world, Scorpio: a conjunction of two stars, a blend of two strong flavors, or a coming together of iconic elements that have never before mixed.

Sounds like you’re in for a splashy time.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Harvey Ball was a commercial artist who dreamed up the iconic image of the smiley face.

He whipped it out in 10 minutes one day in 1963. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t trademark or copyright his creation, and as a result made only $45 from it, even as it became an archetypal image used millions

of times all over the world. Keep his story in the back of your mind during the coming weeks, Sagittarius. I have a feeling you will be coming up with some innovative moves or original stuff, and I would be sad if you didn’t get proper credit and recognition for your work.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There are 501 possible solutions to your current dilemma. At least 10 of them would bring you a modicum of peace, a bit of relief and a touch of satisfaction. Most of the rest wouldn’t feel fantastic, but would at least allow you to mostly put the angst behind you and move on with your life.

But only one of those potential fixes can generate a purgative and purifying success that will extract the greatest possible learning from the situation and give you access to all of the motivational energy it has to offer. Be very choosy.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The quality of your consciousness is the single most influential thing about you. It’s the source of the primary impact you make on other human beings. It changes every situation you interact with, sometimes subtly and

other times dramatically. So here’s my first question: How would you characterize the quality of your consciousness? The answer is complicated, of course. But there must be eight to 10 words that capture the essence of the vibes you beam out wherever you go. Now comes my second question: Are you satisfied with the way you contribute to life on Earth with the quality of your consciousness? It’s an excellent time to contemplate these primal matters.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Some martial artists unleash a sharp percussive shout as they strike a blow or make a dramatic move—a battle cry that helps channel their will into an explosive, concise expression of force. The Japanese term for this is kiai. A few women’s tennis players invoke a similar sound as they smack the ball with their racquet. Maria Sharapova holds the record for loudest shriek at 105 decibels. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to call on your own version of kiai, Pisces. As you raise your game to the next level, it would make perfect sense for you to get your entire body involved in exerting some powerful, highly focused master strokes.

¡ASK A MEXICAN!

BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO, themexican@askamexican.net can.net Dear Mexican: I read in your book that Mexico is due for a revolution about every 100 years or so. The last one was in the first part of the 20th century, and you said the country is about ready for another one. Do you think the drug war presently being fought between the cartels and the Mexican government is actually just a revolution being funded by drug money? Some of the other analysts I work with think it is, and others think it’s not. Since you seem frank about all things Mexican, what do you think?

The Ugly American Dear Gabacho: Scary how prescient I was, ¿qué no? You’d think I was Mayan! My book came out in 2007, and that particular respuesta to a question dates back to a 2005 column. And while the tens of thousands of dead, the hundreds of thousands of Mexicans forced from their homes to flee the narco-violence, and the millions of dollars spent to fight the multibillion-dollar drug industry seems like a revolution, there are no politics involved with the drug cartels—just plain and simple capitalism taken to its Hayekian extremes.

You’ll probably see a revolution in the ballot box next year, as Mexican voters will no doubt toss the PAN out of office and go back to the PRI, the political party that ruled Mexico for more than 70 years, which shows the only real result of Mexico’s centenary revolts remain the same: Meet the new jefe, same as the old boss.

I am an openly gay Jewish man; my partner is Mexican American. My family talks about our relationship with me all the time; his family doesn’t discuss a word about it. We’ve been together two years, and it has never even been acknowledged! Why is this so common with Mexicans? I don’t understand how his family can act like it doesn’t exist. Of course, I don’t bring it up, either. I play the in-the-closet game with them. I am too afraid to say anything that will hurt our relationship. Any suggestions or experience with this?

Oy Vey With the Homophobia Dear Heeb: You didn’t reveal enough info. Is your partner out to his familia? Have you talked about your discomfort with him? Are you in a serious relationship? You might think so, but does your partner?

There definitely might be a cultural component to your partner’s shunning of you: The Mexican has scores of gay primos whose orientation is never discussed at birria Saturdays and carne asada Sundays, and it’s because the older generation simply doesn’t like jotos and are in denial that some of their beautiful progeny are full-fledged mariposas instead of the homoerotic hombres they’re expected to become.

But the Mexican also knows of many oldschool families who openly embrace their gay sons, daughters, nephews, nieces and the like. It could honestly be that the family is trying you out to see if you’re worthy of their son—shit, my papi didn’t even acknowledge my now-brotherin-law until a good five years into his courting of my sister, and now Dad and the cuñado are the best of buds!

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican. net; be his fan on Facebook; follow him on Twitter; or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!

DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

TuCsONWEEKLY

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S AVA G E L O V E

BY DAN SAVAGE, mail@savagelove.net

I’m a happily married woman. I have a great sex life with my husband of many years. He’s helped me discover things I didn’t know about myself sexually.

The problem: Three years ago, my first love contacted me after 23 years. He was married at the time, although he didn’t want to be, and told me that he never stopped loving me. We have been having sexy e-chats ever since. My loving, GGG husband says that I can help my old flame out if I wish. What would you do in this situation?

Having A Rough Day Chick With 2 Dicks What would I do? Besides thank my lucky stars; kiss my loving, GGG husband; and fuck the shit out of the other guy?

A few things, CW2D. I would think hard—brainhard, not junkhard— about the potential powderkegginess of the situation. Not the powderkegginess of the having-sexwith-someone-other-than-my-husband-with-myhusband’s-consent situation, but the possible-shitstorm-that-could-ensue-after-fucking-this-particular-someone-who-isn’t-my-husband situation.

This Particular Someone says he’s still in love with you, CW2D. That’s nice. Are you still in love with TPS? If not, what happens if fucking TPS reignites dormant feelings for TPS that, oh, three years (!) of texting and sexting haven’t? Even if you don’t feel any more strongly for TPS after fucking him, CW2D, what if TPS decides that you really are the one-and-only love of his life, and that he absolutely, positively has to have you all to himself?

TPS isn’t some rando, as the kids say. You two share a history, CW2D, and TPS could present— or become—a threat to the stability of your happy, GGG marriage. So could a complete stranger you met on the street or online, of course, but the emotional stakes and potential for complications are much, much higher with TPS than they would be with some other dude.

So before you do TPS, CW2D, you need to think brainhard about these issues and discuss them at length with your husband. And if you decide to go ahead with it after hashing this shit out with your husband, CW2D, be clear with TPS about what it is you want. If all you’re interested in is a friendship, some affection and a little non-cyber sex for old time’s sake—if leaving your husband, or being poly, is out of the question—TPS needs to know that before you “help him out.”

(A note to everyone already composing angry e-mails about the qualified “go for it” I gave to CW2D: Yes, yes: Every couple you know who’s ever had a three-way or OK’d a fling wound up divorced. And that may be true—of the couples whose three-ways and flings you know about. You know lots of couples who’ve had three-ways and flings who aren’t divorced, but you don’t know you know them. Most married couples want to be perceived as monogamous even—especially!—when they’re not. So your friends who aren’t divorcing as the result of a disastrous fling, affair, swinging experience, three-way, etc., aren’t going to tell you about all the successful flings, affairs, etc., they’ve enjoyed.)

I am 22, standing in a bookstore on Castro Street— this is many years ago, just after I dropped out of Bible college and hitchhiked to San Francisco— looking at a gay BDSM magazine for the first time in my life, trying to hide my erection, reading a story about a Master who makes his naked slave carry to his Master’s friends a six-pack of beer that’s hanging from a rope that’s tied to his nuts. To my horror, I shoot a load in my pants without touching myself.

My problem: A bit older now, I’m still very much that boy in the bookstore. The things that turn me on are what my own mind—still brainwashed by Southern Baptists—deems “bad.” I tell myself it’s OK to embrace my “kinks.” I tell myself to stop analyzing why I’m turned on by forced-exhibitionisticsex-slave fantasies, and just accept them. The problem is that I perceive my fantasies as reactionary:

52 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

They exist by definition in reaction to my upbringing. What is my hard-on but a big “fuck you” to the preachers, prudes and family members who made me miserable?

What would turn me on if I could get free of the whole fucked-up system? Am I asking questions that shouldn’t be asked? Should I just enjoy the fact that I’m turned on by humiliation and seek safe and sane situations to act out my fantasies?

There are people who do not share your craycrayfundy/biblestudy life experiences, HARD, who are nevertheless turned on by the exact same things you are. Human beings are primates; our cultures and societies involve all sorts of overt and covert power dynamics; and almost all humans wind up eroticizing those power dynamics to greater or lesser extents. Some of us eroticize them in subtle ways (pleasure taken in “servicing” a partner, a desire to be held down, a mild foot fetish), others more baroquely (elaborate D/s scenarios complete with props, costumes and clearly defined roles), but power, as a gross old man once observed, is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Even if we could determine that your kinks were shaped by your upbringing, HARD, the shit that turns you on is still going to turn you on. And if your kinks are a “fuck you” to the preachers, prudes and family members who made you miserable— that’s a “fuck you” they earned. Let them have it. (I mean it: Take pictures. Mail ’em to that preacher.)

And remember: There are people out there having vanilla, hetero, missionary intercourse in unhealthy, abusive relationships, HARD. You can explore your sexuality in healthy or unhealthy ways, just like vanilla breeders can explore their sexualities in healthy or unhealthy ways, but you can’t escape who you are and what turns you on. So stop beating yourself up, HARD, and go find a nice, kinky guy who takes that responsibility off your hands. (Here’s some great advice for gay guys just beginning to explore BDSM: tinyurl.com/bensten.)

Reading your column made me a supporter of the LGBT community. I got your back in formal political debates and drunken bar discussions. The LGBT community deserves equal rights, just like any other group of citizens. Period. However, I must protest Kate Bornstein’s comments in a recent column. She said that sex-positive heterosexuals who support the LBGT community—guys like me and FRAUD—are not “straight” men, but “queer heterosexual” men.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to get people who are not gay to support LGBT equality because they’re afraid that someone will call their straightness into question. Don’t make it harder.

Liberal And Straight Being a big ol’ queer myself, LAS, I viewed Kate’s suggestion as a compliment. But your point is well-taken. Everyone gets to choose his or her own label, and you’re straight in my book.

DID YOU MAKE AN “IT GETS BETTER” VIDEO? If you identify as LGBT; you’re 18 years of age or older; and you made or appeared in an “It Gets Better” video, science—science!—wants to hear from you about your perspectives and experiences. If you have 15 to 20 minutes to spare, please take this survey: z.umn.edu/itgetsbetter.

ARE YOU MARRIED? Have you had successful flings, affairs, swinging experiences and three-ways that your friends and family members will never know about? Send me an e-mail; share your story; and I’ll publish it in an upcoming column.

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Follow me @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, PO Box 18737, Tampa, Fla., 33679 weirdnews@earthlink.net or go to www.newsoftheweird.com

Weird Dictators Was Moammar Gadhafi the last of the “buffoon dictators,” asked BBC News in October?

His legend was earned not merely with his now-famous, dirty-old-man scrapbook of Condoleezza Rice photos. Wrote a BBC reporter, “One day (Gadhafi) was a Motown (backup) vocalist with wet-look permed hair and tight pants. The next, a white-suited comic-operetta Latin-American admiral, dripping with braid.” Nonetheless, Gadhafi had competition, according to an October report in the journal Foreign Policy. For example, the son of Equatorial Guinea’s dictator owns, among other eccentric luxuries, a $1.4 million collection of Michael Jackson memorabilia. North Korea’s Kim Jong Il owns videos of almost every game Michael Jordan ever played for the Chicago Bulls.

Leading Economic Indicators • In March, William Ernst, 57, owner of the Q-C Mart chain of Iowa convenience stores, excitedly announced a company-wide employee contest with a prize of $10 for guessing the next worker who Ernst would fire for breaking rules. “Once we fire the person, we will open all the envelopes (containing the entries), award the prize, and start the contest again.” Ernst added, “And no fair picking Mike Miller from (the Rockingham Road store). He was fired at around 11:30 a.m. today for wearing a hat and talking on his cell phone. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!” (After firing a cashier who had complained about Ernst’s attitude, he challenged the woman’s unemployment-compensation claim, but in October, a judge ruled in her favor.)

• Even in a flagging economy, Christie’s auction house in New York City was able to attract a record sales price for a photograph.

In November, a 1999 photo by German artist Andreas Gursky, of a scenic view of the Rhine River, sold for $4.3 million. (It is possible, of course, that buying the actual waterfront property that Gursky photographed from—to enjoy the same view every day—would have been less expensive.)

• Unfortunately, Manulife Financial Corp. is a Canadian firm, and thus it had a very bad year. If exactly the same company had been magically relocated to anywhere in the United States, it would have had an outstanding year.

Under Canada’s hard-nosed accounting rules, Manulife was forced to post a loss last year of $1.28 billion. However, under the feel-good U.S. accounting rules, according to the company, it would have shown a profit of $2.2 billion and been flush with $16 billion more in shareholder value.

• Following October arrests by Nigeria’s Abuja Environmental Protection Board, authorities learned that local prostitutes earned premium fees by selling their customers’ semen to “juju priests,” who use it as “medicines” in rituals.

Police who rounded up the sex workers found inventories of condoms with the necks tied.

58 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

Wait … What?

In the course of an October story on an ill-fated Continental Airlines flight during which all restrooms in coach were broken, the reporter for the Star Tribune of Minneapolis sought reactions from experts. Calling the toilet failures a “bad situation that hasn’t been addressed” was Robert Brubaker, a spokesman for something called the American Restroom Association, “a Baltimorebased advocacy group for toilet users.”

Our Animal Overlords • An Oxford University researcher reported in August on the African crested rat, which is so ingenious that it slathers poison, from chewing the A. schimperi plant, onto an absorbent strip of fur on its back as protection against predators many times larger. The researcher observed a dog quivering in fear after just one failed mouthful of a crested rat’s fur in his laboratory. The noxious goo is also used by African tribesmen on their hunting arrows.

• Researching the itty-bitty: In October, Popular Science dubbed researcher Gaby Maimon of Rockefeller University as one of its “Brilliant 10” for 2011 for his monitoring of neurons in the brains of fruit flies. Maimon first had to immobilize the flies’ brains in saline and outfit their tiny neurons with even tinier electrodes—so that he could track which neurons were firing as the flies flapped their wings and carried out other activities (work that he believes can be useful in treating human autism and attention-deficit disorder).

• Oh, dear! (1) An October Associated Press dispatch from New Orleans warned that “Caribbean crazy ants” are invading five Southern states by the millions, and because their death triggers distress signals to their pals for revenge attacks, up to 10 times as many might replace any population wiped out. Said a Texas exterminator, of a pesticide he once tried, “In 30 days, I had 2 inches of dead ants covering (an) entire half-acre,” and still the ants kept coming, crawling across the carcasses. Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi are currently the most vulnerable. (2) Biologists found a shark fetus with one centered eye inside a pregnant dusky shark off the coast of Baja California Sur, Mexico, in October. A marine sciences lab in nearby La Paz confirmed that the unborn baby had the extremely rare congenital “cyclopia.”

Cutting-Edge Science Japan’s Showa University School of Dentistry has for several years been training future practitioners using life-sized synthetic patients from Orient Industry, based on the company’s “sex dolls,” and recently upgraded to the fancier silicone dolls with human-feel skin that can cost as much as the equivalent of $9,000 when sold to people who custom-order young women for companionship. According to a July CNN report, advanced robotics added to the Showa version allow the doll to utter typical patient phrases, to sneeze and (when trainees mishandle tools) to gag.

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SOUTHWEST - FAMILY OR ROOMMATES 4930 Jamaica Way (vicinity Irvington & Mission).

Views, 1 acre, stove & refrigerator, 2-3BR/2BA-$640, (previously duplex, 2 units connected, rent together) or sell for $65K. Call 520-432-3261 Duplexes 3105 N. PALO VERDE Cozy, 2BR/1BA, fenced yard, w/d hookups with extra storage, carport plus off street parking, new carpet, paint and refrigerator. Pets negotiable. $600.00 per mth. w/years lease. 520-298-3017

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14 Reduction of sugar intake, e.g.

15 Trojan War epic 16 Pro ___ (proportionately) 17 Where sad trash collectors get together?

19 Savings options for the golden yrs.

20 Stadium area 21 Cow sound 22 Mends, as socks 23 The â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pâ&#x20AC;? of PT boat 25 Put to good effect 27 Rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ___ Rose 28 Where future motorists get together?

31 Architect I. M. ___ 32 Fencerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sword

33 End of a studentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s e-mail address 34 Living off the land?

36 Smidgen 38 Org. for a Big Apple cop 42 Sir ___ McKellen 45 Snap up 48 Rousing cry at a ring 49 Where elderly picnickers get together?

53 Hair spifferupper 54 Holey brewing gadget 55 Spa treatment that might include two cucumber slices 57 Group of eight 58 Cries of surprise 61 Arrests 62 Soul singer Redding 63 Where stranded canoeists get together?

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68 Gentlemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s partner 69 Basic work units 70 Colorado skiing town 71 Yankee superslugger, to fans

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4 Once-popular anesthetic 5 Offer on eBay 6 Grad 7 Chauffeur-driven auto 8 Plan, as an itinerary 9 Fabric amts.

10 Preliminary test 11 Hispanic neighborhood 12 One of four for â&#x20AC;&#x153;The StarSpangled Bannerâ&#x20AC;?

13 Got a D or better 18 Wash away, as soil 22 Conked out 23 Elderly Smurf 24 Cut (off) 26 French tea 29 Spiderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s creation 30 Whinny 35 Sites for military flights 37 Prefix with athlete

34

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Puzzle by Lynn Lempel

39 Boo Booâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s buddy in Jellystone Park 40 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Go right aheadâ&#x20AC;?

41 Texas computer giant started in a dorm room 43 Not much 44 Stanley Cup org.

46 Furry extraterrestrial in a 1980s sitcom

47 Mel with â&#x20AC;&#x153;1,000 voicesâ&#x20AC;?

49 Actor Peter of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Becketâ&#x20AC;?

50 Course taken by a plane or missile 51 Dining 52 Gets hitched in haste

56 French president Nicolas Sarkozyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife 59 URL starter 60 Pump or loafer 63 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kill Billâ&#x20AC;? co-star Thurman 64 Seemingly forever 65 Elizabethan dramatist Thomas

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| PAGE 16

YO U SAY YO U WA NT A

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