7 October 2013

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october 7, 2013 issue 5 ~ volume 99

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Due to Congress’s failure to pass legislation to fund the government, the information on this web site may not be up to date. Some submissions may not be processed, and we may not be able to respond to your inquiries.

Information about government operating status and resumption of normal operations is available at USA.GOV.

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Our Top Stories Your Weekly Address: End This Government Shutdown

N W O D

President Obama: Congress Needs to Keep Our Government Open

T U SH

President Obama Meets with Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu

President Obama: Just Vote and End This Shutdown

Today in Rockville, MD, President Obama visited M. Luis Construction Company to talk about the impact of the government shutdown on the economy and why Congress needs to "just vote." The President's Small Business Jobs Act and other SBA programs have helped local businesses like M. Luis Construction grow in recent years, but the government shutdown has disrupted these programs.

Nathaniel Lubin October 03, 2013 02:30 PM EDT

In Case You Missed It: President Obama at Kansas City Ford Plant: Congress Needs to Do Its Job

Economy and Jobs

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The President's remarks highlighted the effects of the shutdown on the American people, effects that could be avoided just by putting a resolution to fund the government and avoid a default to an up-or-down vote. Watch the entire speech here:

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PHOTOS OF THE DAY

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Photo Courtesy the House of Representatives

Because of Congress’ failure to pass a federal budget prior to the beginning of the new fiscal year on October 1, portions of several government agencies, including Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Department of Education, the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Department of Energy, the Food and Drug Administration, the Environmental Protection Agency, the National Endowment of the Arts, the Department of Justice, the National Science Foundation and the White House itself have been shut down as “nonessential.”

Government shutdown hampers TU research With the government shutdown disrupting many of the National Science Foundation’s operations, TU students and professors alike find new roadblocks in the way of funding.

T

he National Science Foundation funds approximately twenty percent of federally sponsored research with an annual budget of seven billion dollars.

Each year, it reviews over 40,000 applications and funds roughly 10,000 of them. Proposals must meet very specific requirements and expectations and be peer-reviewed. The National Science Board then makes a final decision on which applications receive funding, a long and time sensitive process.

But, this procedure has come to a screeching halt because of the federal government shutdown which began October 1.

On October 1 the NSF’s website all but completely closed. Information about deadlines, proposals and existing contracts is no longer accessible. Researchers in the middle of proposals are unable to access applications and those interested in starting the process have no way of doing so. No new projects can receive funding, and the peer review process has been stopped.

The NSF’s website states “Once normal operations resume, NSF

will issue guidance regarding any funding opportunities that have a deadline or target date that occurs during the government shutdown.”

“We won’t know if the previously posted deadlines will hold,” said Nona Charleston, the Director of Nationally Competitive Scholarships and Associate Director of Tulsa Undergraduate Research Challenge. Each program has a different submission deadline.

Programs with deadlines on October 1st and October 15th are

most affected.

Other institutions like the Department of Defense, the National Institute of Health, the Department of Energy, the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for Humanities are experiencing similar complications.

This has had a significant impact on TU. Any new work being done with the NSF and other

See Shutdown p. 9

Reading Partners Reading can change a child’s life! Become a True Blue Neighbors Reading Partner at Kendall-Whittier Elementary, commit to 1 hour a week and a 45 minute training session and you can be the catalyst to launch a child’s education to a higher level.

Make a Difference Day This is a national event to spotlight community service in your area. TU will be joining other Kendall-Whittier community partners to clean up Kendall-Whittier Main Street on Oct 26th from 1 P.M. – 4 P.M. Marcy Lawless Service Award Do you know someone who goes above and beyond in their service to others? Nominations/applications are now being accepted for the Marcy Lawless Service Award.

For additional information on volunteer opportunities, contact Kathy Shelton in the True Blue Neighbor Volunteer Center at kathy-shelton@utulsa.edu or call 918-631-3535.

Sports

7 October 2013

the Collegian : 2

Logan Miller / Collegian

Billy Lafortune, carrying the white flag with a blue dot, leads the Golden Hurricane onto Skelly Field Saturday afternoon before the match vs the Rice Owls to the sound of the Tulsa fight song and over 20,000 fans cheering in the stands.

Comeback falls short in overtime Green were unable to find a receiver in the end zone. Carl Salazar’s sixth straight field goal put the Hurricane on the board.

After Rice’s next touchdown, the Golden Hurricane offense responded with a 65-yard, 1:25 drive that concluded with a slick 18yard run by Trey Watts, bringing the score to 14–10 in Rice’s favor.

With that rush, Watts broke the 5,000 all-purpose yard milestone, a feat that only 12 other Conference USA players have achieved.

The second quarter play by both teams became sloppier. Tulsa committed some costly errors. After their first possession of the quarter (which was a penalty-ridden threeand-out), the punt ricocheted off one of the punt guards, resulting in a painfully short 21-yard kick, leaving Rice to start on the Tulsa 38 yard line.

The Owls’ drive ended with a 27-yard field goal. Tulsa’s next possession began and ended with a 32-yard interception return by Julius White, allowing Rice to start their next possession on the Tulsa 10. Three plays later, Rice QB Taylor McHargue dumped in a 9-yard touchdown pass to Turner Peterson to make the score 24–10.

When Tulsa regained possession, Green threw another interception to give the Owls possession on the Tulsa 38. Tulsa’s

Tulsa erased a 14-point deficit in the second half vs Rice Saturday to force overtime, but was unable to come away with a win.

Matthew Magerkurth Student Writer

The Golden Hurricane football team, despite a strong rally in the second half of Saturday’s game against the Rice Owls, fell in overtime by a score of 30–27. TU was outscored in the sudden death period, as a field goal on the first possession of overtime proved not to be enough.

Strong performances by running back Trey Watts and defensive back Michael Mudoh were bright spots in the loss, which snapped a six-game winning streak against the Owls.

The first quarter brought fans a scoring frenzy that spanned four drives. The Rice offense worked quickly from the start, scoring two touchdowns within 10 minutes of play. For both touchdown runs—

by Jeremy Eddington and Darrion Pollard—Rice brought in the substitute quarterback to hand off to the right.

Tulsa responded to the first score with an efficient drive, but then failed to capitalize with a touchdown. Two passes by Cody

Derrick Alexander forced a fumble on next play which was recovery

by Shawn Jackson of Tulsa, giving them possession on their own 48.

After a charge to the red zone, the Golden Hurricane offense fumbled at the 4 yard line. The half ended on the ensuing Rice possession with the Owls leading 24–10.

The third quarter brought the next Golden Hurricane score, with a 37-yard Carl Salazar field goal to punctuate another scoring drive.

Play was interrupted by an extended injury time-out for tight end Garrett McGrady, who was removed from the field via ambulance.

The drive concluded with a turnover on downs and the quarter ended with Tulsa down by 11 points.

The fourth quarter featured a long series of punts, but an interception by TU’s Darnell Walker gave the Golden Hurricane fans a rally to hope for. After a couple of desperate dives into the red zone, Trey Watts completed a one-yard

charge into the end zone for six more points.

On the two-point conversion attempt, Green was picked off, but a roughing the passer foul was called on Cody Bauer, giving TU a second chance and the benefit of half the distance to the goal.

On the second try, Watts was able to power through the defense to make the score 24–21.

Trailing by three with only 3:45 remaining, the Hurricane defense needed a quick stop of McHargue and the Rice offense, and they did just that. A quick three-and-out gave the TU offense possession and a chance to win with 2:48 remaining.

After a 15-yard pass to Keevan Lucas, the Golden Hurricane got into another fourth-down jam, but a successful run by Watts got a crucial first down. Following the play, an unsportsmanlike conduct call on Rice gave Tulsa a first down at the 25.

After running out of downs, Carl Salazar was brought on to make a

36-yard kick, tying the game at 24 with 1:07 remaining. The following kick return was stopped quickly, pinning the Owls on the 13 yard line, and time ran out, sending the game to overtime.

Rice chose to defend first, and Tulsa got the ball on the Rice 25.

The Owls held the Hurricane to a three-and-out and Coach Blankenship decided to send the field goal unit onto the field.

Salazar hit a field goal from 36 yards giving the Hurricane their only lead of the afternoon. Rice then got the ball at the 25, and two plays into the possession, McHargue threw a 25-yard touchdown pass to end the game, 30–27.

Golden Hurricane football travels to El Paso, Texas to play the UTEP Miners on Saturday night.

The game will be the team’s second appearance on Fox Sports 1.

The team returns to H.A. Chapman Stadium on Sat, Nov 2 for the homecoming game against the UTSA Roadrunners.

Oct 8

W. Golf

M. Soccer W. Golf

Dick McGuire Invitational

Albuquerque, N.M.

All Day

Oct 9

vs New Mexico

Dick McGuire Invitational

Hurricane Stadium

7 p.m.

Albuquerque, N.M.

All Day

Oct 11 Softball

vs Butler CC

Volleyball

vs Florida Atlantic

Zane Cawthon / Collegian

Rice’s Darik Dillard runs the ball past Tulsa’s Dwight Dobbins in overtime period for a 25-yard touchdown on a pass from Taylor McHargue to win the game for the Owls.

Collins Family Softball Complex

5 p.m.

Boca Raton, Fla.

6 p.m.

Oct 12

Softball W. Soccer Softball Football M. Golf

vs Oklahoma State vs Colorado College

vs Oklahoma State vs UTEP

Collins Family Softball Complex

Colorado Springs, Colo.

12 p.m.

12 p.m.

Collins Family Softball Complex

2 p.m.

El Paso, Texas

7 p.m.

Durham, N.C.

All Day

Miami, Fla.

12 p.m.

Hurricane Stadium

4 p.m.

Durham, N.C.

All Day

Austin, Texas

All Day

Austin, Texas

All Day

Rod Myers Invitational Oct 13

Volleyball M. Soccer M. Golf W. Golf

vs Florida International vs Charlotte Rod Myers Invitational

Betsy Rawls Invitational Oct 14

W. Golf

Betsy Rawls Invitational

Logan Miller / Collegian

Field goal kicker Carl Salazar prepares for a 36-yard attempt. The try passed through and uprights to tie the game vs Rice at 24 with 1:07 remaining in the fourth quarter, forcing overtime.

Sports

the Collegian : 3

7 October 2013

Morgan Krueger Staff Writer

Women’s Rowing started their 2013 season at the Head of the Oklahoma Regatta Saturday. The team traveled to Oklahoma City for the competition on the Oklahoma River.

TU’s first race of the day was the Women’s Collegiate (varsity) 8+ race. The varsity 8+ rowers started the event off well, with four boats racing. Boat A received fourth place, C placed ninth, B took thirteenth and boat D finished seventeenth out of the twenty teams competing.

This was the first regatta for many of the team’s freshmen rowers, but that did not stop them from placing well. The next event TU participated in was the Novice 4+ race where boats A, B, and C received second, third, and eighth place respectively, out of thirteen contenders.

The Novice 8+ also did well, with Boats A and B placing second and fourth in their races respectively. TU had 18 true freshmen competing in this race.

Most other teams train their freshmen rowers for a year before entering them in their first ‘novice’ races as sophomores.

TU’s freshmen rowers for the novice races have been training on the water for only a

month. Still, the TU boats in the ‘novice’ races placed well, showing tremendous promise for the future of the team.

The Women’s Collegiate (varsity) 4+ rowers did well in their races as well. In this event boat A got second place, boat E received fourth place, boat B placed eighth, boat C finished in eleventh place and boat D finished as the twenty-fourth boat.

In the Open Weight Double’s, TU’s boat received sixth place. In the Lightweight Doubles, boats A, B and C placed second, fourth and sixth, respectively.

After the initial races Varsity Rowers had the opportunity to qualify for the regatta Night Sprints. These 500 meter races, for which the Oklahoma Regatta is known, take place after sunset under artificial lighting.

TU’s boat A qualified to compete in the Women’s Collegiate 8+ 500m Grand Final race. They finished fifth out of the six teams who qualified.

TU also qualified two boats for the Women’s Collegiate 4+ 500m Grand Final race.

Out of six teams boat A placed third and boat B placed sixth.

“This was a super exciting first regatta,” said freshmen rower Makenna Jarvis. “We did really well as a team, I’m looking forward to the rest of the season.”

The next event for the Women’s Rowing team is the Jayhawk Jamboree, which will be held Oct 20 in Lawrence, Kan.

News and Notes •

The Dallas Cowboy hosted the Denver Broncos Sunday in a game the Broncos won 51–48. The 99 combined points tied for the fourth most in a NFL game.

•

The Oklahoma City Thunder traveled to Istanbul, Turkey to play Fenerbahce Ulker in an exhibition match which they won 95–82. The Thunder will play the Philadelphia 76ers in London on Tuesday at 2 p.m.

Tulsa time before returning to Oklahoma City.

•

St. Louis Blues goaltender Jaroslav Halak set a team record of 17 shutouts, passing Hall of Fame netminder Glenn Hall.

•

The Baylor Bears continued their offensive exhibition putting 73 points on the board in their win over the West Virginia Mountaineers. They are averaging 69.7 points per game through four games.

ss Servic e l w e a L

rd wa A

The Golden Hurricane Rowing team went to Oklahoma City Saturday to compete in the Head of Oklahoma Regatta.

Mar cy

Rowing rocks OKC

2013 – 2014 This award recognizes the “graduating student who most closely emulates Marcy Lawless’ generous spirit, creativity, vision, pursuit of excellence, and commitment to serving others both on campus and in the greater Tulsa community.” Any student scheduled to graduate during the December 2013 or May 2014 commencement ceremonies (undergraduate, law or graduate) is eligible. The award, which carries a cash stipend, will be presented during the December 21, 2013 commencement ceremony.

Nomination / Application forms may be obtained at any of the following locations: Student Affairs Office in Holmes Student Center, Housing Office in Twin Towers, Registration and Records in McClure Hall, or the True Blue Volunteer Center in Holmes Student Center.

Completed forms must be submitted by noon, Friday, October 25, to the True Blue Neighbor Volunteer Center in Holmes Student Center, Room #25.

NEWS

7 october 2013

the Collegian : 4

Student wins Oklahoma State Fiddling Championship Sophomore Emma Jane Pendleton became the first female to win the Tulsa State Fiddling Championship. She performed with the Tulsa Playboys at Cain’s Ballroom on Sunday to celebrate the victory.

Molly Wagner Student Writer

Emma Jane Pendleton, a sophomore mechanical engineering major at the University of Tulsa, won the Oklahoma State Fiddling Championship at the Tulsa State

Fair last week. Pendleton is the first woman to win the Oklahoma State Fiddling Championship in the 42 years since the contest began in 1972.

Pendleton has been the topranking female fiddler for the past five years at the annual Oklahoma State Fiddling Championships, but this year she took the overall title, beating the two-time reigning champion.

Pendleton has been competing for this title for several years but she claims that this year was different.

“The night before the competition, I was practicing and my mom

just gave me this weird look,” Pendleton said. “She said, ‘I’ve never heard you sound this good before.’”

The competition requires contestants to perform three songs for the first round. Pendleton felt confident in her first round performance.

However, for the second round Pendleton learned that she would have to play first. “I didn’t get to warm up at all,” Pendleton said.

“Going first is usually a death sentence.”

After the performances ended, Pendleton and the rest of the contestants readied themselves for the

Inter-Fraternity Council suspended Due to rush violations, the IFC has been shut down as fraternity bylaws are being rewritten.

David White Zane Cawthon Student Writers The Inter-Fraternity Council (IFC), which acts as an intermediary between the fraternities and the University, was suspended this year during the first week of classes.

The reasons for this suspension are somewhat vague, but according to Michael Kumpas, the Public Relations Chair for IFC, “There were several rush violations, which were not deemed appropriate by the University or IFC, and immediate action needed to be taken.”

Although this immediate action does not constitute social probation, in practice it equates to something similar.

Kumpas said, “We’re not really on probation because we’re able to hold events like philanthropies, parties and date functions.

“IFC is disbanded and the houses are being watched,” Kumpas continued. “They need to be extremely careful because IFC is

not there to intercede. It just goes straight to the University.”

IFC is on suspension for up to 60 days, or until IFC composes a coherent set of changes to govern the houses more effectively Ultimately, this equates to some major reforms for IFC and how they handle disciplining houses that break rules. This is where the issue of social probation comes into play.

“Social probation is something determined by IFC with different levels for a fraternity when they break rules and mess up,” Kumpas said. “It’s a sanction that corrects a fraternity instead of punishing them so they learn from their mistakes and it doesn’t happen again.”

“Sometimes the restrictions are the same,” Kumpas continued.

“Sometimes they aren’t. It varies and it’s up to the judicial committee to decide.”

“One thing we need to change is our judicial committee,” IFC President Tyler Payne said, “and the problem we have run into is that our sanctions don’t have any teeth; if houses break rules they aren’t disciplined enough. The administration wants to see tougher sanctions.”

“They want to see sanctions that are going to pack a punch,” Kumpas agreed, “instead of a mea-

sly fine of $100 which most people can pay out of pocket.”

Payne said in reference to IFC and the school administration, “Our side is their side.”

Despite being in the midst of a suspension of the sort that hasn’t happened in years, Payne and Kumpas remained opportunistic.

“We hope to build a system that is going to last through the ages,” Kumpas said, “and that fraternity men in the future will not have to worry themselves with these types of things; it will be a very clean and smooth process that everyone agrees on.”

IFC has been meeting unofficially as Greeks since suspension, but they had their first official meeting last Tuesday. They are not yet formally reinstated, and the reforms are still being deliberated.

The reforms will include changes to the judiciary committee that determines the sanctions that are enforced on fraternities who break rules.

Payne said that the suspension of IFC is viewed as a necessary step in the direction of progress by both University administration and IFC. He points out that the system was too weak and this is an opportunity to institute reforms that have the potential to create a safer more just fraternity row.

Tulsa Public Schools receive federal funding to train better principals Tulsa was one of five public school districts to be awarded money by the Department of Education as a part of its School Leadership Program.

Kimberly Poff Staff Writer On Friday, September 27, Department of Education Secretary Arne Duncan announced this year’s School Leadership Program awards. One of the twenty awards was given to Tulsa Public Schools, which will receive $4.4 million over the course of five years to train and keep better principals.

The SLP is a program of the federal government which awards

money to high-needs “local educational agencies” (LEA’s) to improve their leadership, specifically at the principal and assistant principal level.

LEA’s can be local public schools, but can also be universities which provide graduate programs to teachers or local teacher training institutes. TPS was one of only five public school districts awarded the grant money; along with McDowell, WV, Camden, NJ, Wheaton, MO, and Granite, UT. The SLP awards funds to schools who want to provide stipends to aspiring principals and their mentors, increase professional development programs and recruit teachers and professionals

from other fields to become principals.

Tulsa public schools is looking to provide support to their 53 assistant principals in “instructional leadership” so that they are equipped to become principals within two years.

TPS will receive $990,874 for the 2013-14 school year, with $861,026 for each subsequent year of the five-year grant for a total of $4,434,982.

According to the proposal abstract on the SLP website, this money will be focused on providing training opportunities for assistant principals, while “(effecting) a culture change” in their 76 principals.

The TPS news release outlines

judges.

Pendleton’s friend Will Crisps was in the audience along with her family. “She acted like it was over, she looked really defeated, like she had played her songs and that was it,” said Crisps. “Although I thought she had it in the bag.”

Pendleton continued to feel defeated as the judges called out the winners. “I was expecting to get fourth place but they kept calling other peoples names and I just kept thinking what? The only people left were me and the guy who had won the two years before,” said Pendleton.

“When they called my name I was shocked,” Pendleton said. “I never expected to get anywhere that high.”

Pendleton is the first woman to ever win the Oklahoma state title for fiddling. “I finally told the boys it was my turn,” said Pendleton.

Pendleton gave some of the credit to her musical training at TU. Since coming to TU, Pendleton has been involved in the jazz band and the orchestra, which she claims has kept her practicing frequently.

Pendleton was raised in Tulsa and homeschooled. She claimed growing up with a musical family as her inspiration for fiddling.

Courtesy Marina Pendleton

TU sophomore Emma Jane Pendleton became the first female in the contest’s 42-year history to win the Oklahoma State Fiddling Championship.

“When my sister and I started fiddling, we started a family band,” Pendleton said. “Having people hiring us for gigs made it a lot of fun for me.”

To celebrate her new title, along with the release of her new CD, Pendleton performed with the Tulsa Playboys at Cain’s Ballroom on

Tulsa homicide rate increases The number of homicides this year has already surpassed that of 2012, and Tulsa’s other crime statistics are higher than the national average.

Helen Patterson Staff Writer An article from September 30 on Tulsa Channel 8’s website reports that Tulsa’s homicide rate has increased since last year. The total number of murders in 2012 was just 46, and though the year is far from over, the 2013 count is already 48.

However, 2012 was an unusual year. Rates were much higher between 2006 and 2011, ranging from a low 53 in 2006 and 2011 to a high of 71 in 2009.

Nevertheless, Tulsa’s rates of homicide and other violent crimes are very high compared with national averages. CityRating.com reports that the 2010 violent crime rates for Tulsa were 171.03% higher than national average and 128.17% higher than Oklahoma average.

In terms of murder alone, the homicide rate in 2010 in Tulsa was approximately 15.8 per 100,000, more than three times the national average of 4.8. The 2012 estimate the plan in slightly more detail.

In addition to more training and professional development opportunities for school leadership, the grant will go towards expanding office staff.

is lower at 13.5, just shy of three times the national average of 4.7, but this is still alarmingly high.

Why does Tulsa have such a high rate of murder and other violent crime? In a January 9, 2012 article from NewsOk, Sergeant Walker of the Tulsa Police Department said, “We’re still having gang shootings, but when you have a lot of gang murders, you can count on retaliations to those murders.

You can almost predict an increase when you start seeing that.”

Drug violence, often linked with gang violence, is also a possible reason for high rates. A February 13, 2013 article from This Land Press named Tulsa County as the meth capital of the U.S. with 979 contaminated sites identified between 2004 and 2012. This number is more than twice as high as the runner up, Jefferson, Missouri with 472 identified meth labs.

There are also reports of high levels of domestic violence leading to murder. Last Friday, Tulsa World reported that Oklahoma is the third-ranked state in the country for women killed by men.

Two-thirds of the women in these killings were murdered by their partners or spouses. A July 15 article stated that 8 of this year’s homicides are related to domestic violence.

These changes, according to the news release, will allow principals and assistant principals to move away from administrative duties and towards helping teachers to be more effective in the classroom.

TU recycling goes single-stream Students will soon be able to put all their recyclables into one bin thanks to efforts by the TU Sustainability Committee.

Oscar Ho Staff Writer Recycling at the University of Tulsa will soon become as easy as throwing something in the trash thanks to the TU Sustainability Committee’s introduction of single-stream recycling.

Single-stream recycling eliminates the need to separate paper, glass and plastics into different bins.

More materials will soon be accepted for recycling. Previously non-recyclable materials like glass, pizza boxes and plastics 3 through 7 will soon be accepted.

To reflect this new way of recycling, TU Sustainability is removing “plastic only” type labels from recycling bins.

Jason Grunin, Associate Director of Special Projects and Energy Conservation, expects that once the bins are relabeled and redistributed, there will be a recycling bin very conveniently next to every trash bin. Expect to see relabeled bins in the coming weeks.

In addition to relabeled bins, TU Sustainability has placed a contraption called a protainer next to many dumpsters. Each protainer has four 96-gallon bins inside.

Everything recyclable can go into it: pizza boxes, bottles and their caps, and old homework.

Hopefully the protainers make recycling as easy as taking out the trash, said Grunin.

Grunin hopes to give dorm residents the option of having a

recycling can inside their rooms as an extra convenience, probably by next spring. He expects to announce availability of these cans to dorm directors as soon as possible.

While most everything can be tossed in a recycling can or a protainer, some things are not recyclable. Some wastes require special disposal, such as compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs) and batteries.

TU Sustainability does not currently have a recycling or safe disposal program for such items, but schemes to address these issues are in development.

TU Sustainability was started by student interests, and its activities are heavily influenced by students’ opinions and needs. If you have an idea or question, send an email to sustainability@utulsa.edu.

Graphic by Jill Graves

Each black dot on the above map of campus represents the location of one of the new Protainer recycling bins. Protainer bins can take most recyclable objects.

NEWS

the Collegian : 5

Eye on the world:

Magdalena Sudibjo Staff Writer Europe ITALY Early last Thursday, a boat carrying close to 500 mostly Eritrean and Somali migrants caught fire and capsized, killing at least 130

people just a few miles from the island of Lampedusa, Italy.

According to several reports, one of the migrants had set a flare to signal the boat’s position. The flame spread to the boat, and in the panic the vessel flipped over.

Rescuers have saved at least 150 lives though many others are still missing.

These deaths and several simi-

lar incidents have intensified criticisms of European immigration policy.

Policies that dissuade migrants from crossing over by land, such as Greece’s eight-mile fence on its border with Turkey, have pushed many people to board often overcrowded vessels to take the more dangerous journey by sea.

“The word ‘disgrace’ comes to me,” Pope Francis said after the incident. “Let us unite our efforts so that similar tragedies do not happen again. Only a decided collaboration among all can help to stop them.”

CROATIA South Korea orchestrated its largest military parade in a decade last Tuesday, displaying 11,000 troops, 120 aircrafts and the country’s long-range missiles that can target and strike the office windows of

TU’s Studio Blue promotes local organizations, national companies Studio Blue has advertised for the likes of Nordam, Red Bull and the Gilcrease Musuem.

Kimberly Poff Staff Writer At a convivial gathering last Friday afternoon on the second floor of the business college the members of Studio Blue did what they do best: promotion. The odd thing about it is they were promoting themselves at an open house.

Dr. Wood, Associate Professor of Marketing and the director of Studio Blue, explained, “A lot of people don’t know we’re here because we’re always so busy doing other things.”

Studio Blue has indeed been very busy out in the community. Some of the notable companies and organizations they have worked with include Nordam, U.S. Cellular, the Gilcrease Museum, Family and Children’s Services, TU BlueCrew and Red Bull.

Students are most likely familiar with the TrueBlue Neighbor’s Benefit Shirt, the proceeds of which go towards the university’s community outreach program.

Right now the group is filming videos of Joey, a zoo keeper puppet, for the Tulsa Zoo. Located in 200-D of Helmerich Hall, StudioBlue is trying to get the word out to all students, not just those in the business college or the marketing major, about the resources available to them. “‘A creative greenhouse’ is not just our tagline,” says senior marketing major Kristina Merkle, “this really is a place to make innovation happen.”

The resources in the room certainly live up to that assertion. The walls are all magnetic and covered in chalkboards and whiteboards.

There are several computers, all with state-of-the-art creative software. A green screen pulls down from the ceiling to cover a large corner of the room.

The most impressive piece of equipment, however, is the re-

cently purchased MakerBot. The MakerBot is a small-scale 3D printer which rapidly prints plastic models.

All of this equipment not only helps marketing students with projects, but is available for everyone to use. “Everyone is creative,” said Dr. Wood, “and all majors can learn how to innovate.”

17:20 Officers and Tulsa Fire responded to a fire alarm at John Mabee Hall.

Upon arrival, it was determined that a Housing Resident Assistant set off a fire alarm pull station because they could not locate the source of a foul odor.

Officers learned that a resident overcooked food in a microwave causing the foul odor.

22:25 Officers and Housing officials conducted a health and safety inspection of a Lottie Jane Mabee room after learning of the presence of alcohol in the underage student’s room. Officers found a bottle of liquor and disposed of it by pouring it down the sink.

the North Korea’s command headquarters as a warning to the country’s northern neighbor.

“We must build a strong antiNorth deterrence until the day the North drops its nuclear arms and makes the right choice for its people and for peace on the Korean peninsula,” South Korean president Park Geun-hye said during the ceremony.

United States Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel was in attendance as part of a four-day visit to solidify the US alliance with South Korea.

The US has committed $11 billion to modernize its military bases in the country.

Asia SOUTH KOREA Violent protests in Sudan over the lifting of gasoline subsidies and its resultant hike in fuel prices has led to at least thirty deaths, with some estimates in the hundreds, and more than seven hundred arrests.

“The latest economic measures aim at preventing the collapse of the economy following the increase in inflation and instability in the exchange rate,” President Omar al-Bashir was quoted saying by the official SUNA news agency

Morgan Krueger Staff Writer

Kimberly Poff / Collegian

Graduate assistant Michael Callegari poses next to the Makerbot, Studio Blue’s recently purchased 3D printer.

The tools in Studio Blue are designed to allow all students to creatively innovate in their own disciplines.

In fact, Helmrich 200-D is exclusively for student use from 6pm to midnight on weeknights, but the room can be reserved at other times for group meetings.

For those looking for other ways to get involved with Studio Blue, there are loads of opportunities. This Friday Studio Blue will

2:05 An Officer on patrol witnessed an unknown male drive his vehicle onto the Multi-Purpose Field at 6th & Delaware and followed the vehicle to 6th & Birmingham.

The vehicle became disabled at the intersection; where the Officer witnessed the suspect flee from the vehicle heading west from campus. Tulsa Police were contacted to impound the vehicle.

16:45 Officers and Tulsa Fire responded to a fire alarm at Chapman Stadium. Upon arrival, it was determined that low water pressure caused the fire alarm to activate.

Sept. 26 16:50 A student reported their parked vehicle had been struck by another vehicle in the McFarlin Lot. The other driver’s vehicle was identified by a witness but Officers

ence that develops their unique talents and shows them how to apply them to real-world project.”

Whether you would like to relax in a beanbag chair and get some reading done, or want to try out the rapid prototyping machine, Studio Blue is open. Check out their website: www.utulsa.edu/studioblue for more information.

were unable to locate the owner.

The witness stated the suspect driver hit the parked vehicle, parked their own vehicle and left the scene on foot without leaving contact information.

Sept. 28 0:30 A witness reported seeing 5-6 unknown males breaking tree branches and throwing bicycle parts from a bike rack into the parking lot.

3:02 A member of the Kappa Sigma Fraternity reported their power had been turned off at the cut-off switch on the house. The witness also reported seeing 3 unknown females run into a neighboring fraternity house.

Sept. 29 0:00 Officers conducted a party shutdown at a Mayo Village apartment after an Officer on patrol witnessed a large number of people

during the subsequent forced media blackout.

The secession of South Sudan two years prior took away 75 percent of oil revenue and left the country with $40 billion foreign debt. Meanwhile, inflation has reached almost 40 percent.

Opposition leader Hassan alTurabi has called President alBashir to step down from office.

Africa SUDAN The Museum of Broken Relationships headquartered in Zagreb continues its seven-year world tour with its temporary exhibition in Taipei, Taiwan.

Drazen Grubisic and Olinka Vistica of Croatia founded the widely successful museum in 2006 after the couple broke up and were unable to decide who got to keep a toy bunny they both shared.

The exhibitions display donated items from people’s failed relationships along with an accompanying story.

Items range from photo albums and broken furniture to garter belts and furry handcuffs. An iron had the following description: “This iron was used to iron my wedding suit, now it’s the only thing left.”

TU alumni bike for affordable housing Alumni Tim Nissen and Aaron Diacon biked across North America and volunteered at building sites in order to raise awareness for affordable housing.

Sept. 25

Sept. 24

be filming spots with Joey at the Zoo. From 10 a.m. to noon every Friday students can come learn how to use the 3D printer.

Students can also apply for the NOVA fellowship before October 15. The NOVA fellowship is a 15hour certificate in applied innovation. The program’s aim is “to give students an unforgettable experi-

7 october 2013

In an effort to raise both money for and awareness of the need for affordable housing, two TU graduates took part in an event put on by the national nonprofit organization Bike & Build this past summer.

The pair rode across the country with thirty other like-minded individuals.

These people were able to have an adventure while also raising funds for affordable housing and telling others about its importance.

2013 TU graduates Aaron Diacon and Tim Nissen participated in Bike & Build. Their route took them from North Carolina to San Diego.

Tim Nissen enjoyed getting involved in Bike and Build. “I’d enjoyed and valued working on TU’s Habitat (for Humanity) builds, I loved riding my bike, and I had never seen the West Coast; so this opportunity was too perfect to pass up,” Nissen said.

The Bike & Build event started for riders in either May or June. Riders averaged peddling 70 miles each day. For ten weeks participants rode, traveling from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific, a trip that was about 3,800 miles in length.

As the riders went along, they volunteered on approximately 12 building days. To help build affordable housing they teamed up with organizations such as Rebuilding Together and Habitat for Humanity as well as other local nonprofits.

Thanks to this trip, Bike & Build outside of the apartment hosting a party. Officers counted 79 people leaving the party and conducted a safety sweep of the apartment.

12:15 An Officer on patrol observed a down tree in the Keplinger/Rogers Lot. Upon investigating the tree, it was determined that an unknown vehicle struck the tree and left the scene. Officers were unable to locate the suspect vehicle.

will give almost half a million dollars to more than 300 affordable housing nonprofits across America.

In addition to helping the cause, riders also got the added perk of seeing the country.

Tim Nissen said his favorite memory was “definitely Colorado.”

“Not only was it exciting to be at the worksite for (the) Habitat house that Bike & Build is financially sponsoring in Colorado Springs and work alongside the future homeowners,” Nissen said, “but the Rocky Mountains are maybe the best thing in America.”

“We are deeply proud of our 2013 riders,” said Justin Villere, the Director of Operations and Outreach at Bike & Build. “We strive to engage young people with a passion for service and adventure. Because of this, our riders make an incredible impact in hundreds of communities.”

Tim Nissen said he would definitely recommend this program to other TU students.

“I think it supports a worthwhile cause,” Nissen said. “And also, man, America (except for Kansas) is just plain beautiful and I doubt there is a more gratifying way to take it in.”

Rider applications for 2014 Bike & Build cross-country trip will become available on the first of November. Eight trips are offered each summer, in which approximately 250 young adults (aged 18 to 28) participate. Each rider must raise $4,500 to participate. Application materials can be found at www.bikeandbuild.org.

Since its start in 2003, almost two thousand riders have participated in Bike & Build trips, raising $4.6 million to benefit nonprofit housing. They have also logged 160,000 volunteer hours which have gone to fund projects across America.

13:45 A student reported losing their cell phone, possibly in Mayo Village.

The phone tracking system reported the phone in that area; however, the student and Officers were unable to locate the phone.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

The introductory paragraph for the last two week’s “From the Archives” failed to mention the central role that McFarlin Library and Special Collections played in uploading the old Collegians. We apologize for this mistake and thank McFarlin Library, Special Collections and President Upham, all of whom helped to make this possible.

variety

7 October 2013

the Collegian : 6

Oh Land’s latest falls flat

Oh Land’s most recent album, “Wish Bone” is certainly a transformation from her self-titled breakthrough in 2011; the bubblegumish title lacks a brooding dark side, and instead gives way to empty lyrics and electronic beats.

Nicholas Foster Student Writer

Nanna Øland Fabricius, known better by her moniker Oh Land, has made a short career out of glassy astro-pop, equal parts dark and luxurious. Her modest breakthrough, 2011’s self-titled “Oh Land,” did a few things very well, not the least of which was show off her silky-but-troubled vocal style, often backed by haunting harmonies.

There is a charming beauty in loneliness, especially in front of luscious string arrangements, and Fabricius did her share of somewhat playful heart-wrenching while only occasionally letting things get too serious—a fine and noble line to walk. It did, however, slot her firmly besides contemporaries such as La Roux and Frou Frou: not poor company, but not unforgettable.

For her third album, “Wish Bone,” to make a more lasting impression among her audience of twenty-somethings, she needed to dig deeper into her dark side while still maintaining her pop sensibilities. Instead, she went the opposite direction.

At first glance, even the album cover should warn that some things have changed. We see Fabricius more glammed-up than previously, complete with a tiara and too much rouge. She’s curved

herself up in a U, matching the title of the album, and though the position looks somewhat uncomfortable, the album often feels as though she has settled too comfortably into a routine and is now going through the motions.

The skeleton is still there: she still has a wildly infectious voice (though “Wish Bone” finds her less brooding and more bubblegumish), her sense of melody is sharper than ever, and she knows exactly what it takes to make a memorable chorus. Yet the album is surprisingly hit or miss for how polished it is.

Take opener “Bird in an Aeroplane,” arguably the album’s strongest track. Her voice is coated in a mix of ambient and percussive synths, and the melody leads and winds the track until the hook busts through with total clarity, a release from the eerie into the sublime.

After the chorus follows a twobar percussion break, providing room to breathe and recover before the song kicks in again, and possibly the most intriguing ten seconds of the whole album. The song is a simple definition of her strengths, clearly outlining everything that can go right in an Oh Land composition.

But immediately after, when “Renaissance Girl” comes on, the album takes a turn. The two do not make sense next to each other; something about the tripped-out lurching of the opener giving way to the too-perfect danceishness of the lead single feels underdeveloped, if not scatterbrained. The strange combination of P!nk and Lana Del Ray does not sit well, and what starts as a feminist pop anthem falls a little flat. Lines like “Tough like rocks and sweet like pearls / Come along / We can be your renaissance girls” feel more than a little tired.

So the album goes, drifting in the vague area between clichéd and enchanting, often in the same song. The lyrics feel mostly emp-

ty, as do many of her electronicsbased arrangements. Fabricius even eschews real drums on all but two songs on the album, tending towards basic programmed beats and snaps.

Still, her penchant for hooks cannot be denied: every song has one. Her choruses on “Next Summer” and “Sleepy Town” are perfectly dizzying, demonstrating her biggest asset—her voice—and her best talent, hammering an intoxicating melody until the listener cannot help but hum along. It would be more powerful, however, if the songs did not all follow the same format. Verse-hook-versehook for thirteen songs straight is unsustainable for all but the most polished of pop stars, and Fabricius really stretches it to the limit here.

But beyond everything, in her synthed-out haze Fabricius seems to have forgotten that when trying to make an album sound like it comes from space, the most important element is just that: space.

Here, she seems here to prefer clutter to cleanliness. This can work, and has for her in the past, but after a couple songs, the density really starts to gum up the works.

Her two forays into semi-folk, “3 Chances” and “When I’m Gone” are, not coincidentally, the two most beautiful songs on the album, whilst being the two most transparent. Her voice is the quintessential Oh Land instrument, and the more it is allowed to drive the song, rather than weakly attempting to hold it together, the better off the listener is.

This is not a bad effort by Oh Land, but it certainly is not groundbreaking, and is likely to be lost among the more evocative and less neutral records to come out this year. She continues to show flashes of promise, but until she finds a niche beyond moderatelyindie generi-pop, Fabricius will most likely continue to blend into the scenery.

Apple’s iPhone 5s innovative The iPhone 5s and 5c offer users a number of new and exciting features: from an identification scanner that requires the user’s fingerprint, to a camera that results in more naturallooking photos, the new iPhone has it all.

Will Bramlett Sports Editor

This year, on Sept. 10, Apple announced two new iPhones to be released in 10 countries, including the United States, on Sept. 20.

Apple did a brief review of iOS 7—the company’s next iteration of their mobile operating system—which had been announced at Apple’s Worldwide Developer Conference in June. iOS 7 is the first major version not designed under former Apple executive, Scott Forstall. iOS 7 was created

by Sir Jony Ive, Apple’s Senior Vice President of Design. Ive has been in charge of the design of all of Apple’s devices since the first iMac. The change in leadership is associated with the change in design of the system, from a skeuomorphic design—that is, software design meant to emulate real world items and actions—toward a more “flat” and colorful design. There are many people who like the new look and many others who would rather stay on older versions of iOS. The update to iOS includes many new useful features including Control Center, a slide-up panel allowing users to control certain features of the phone. In addition, folders now have pages, and the camera app is simpler to use while adding more features.

The first new phone Apple introduced was the iPhone 5c. The iPhone 5c is really just an iPhone 5 with an updated front-facing cam-

era and a different shell. The back of the phone is now a single colorful piece of hard plastic.

Some analysts predicted the 5c would be a substantially cheaper phone than any iPhone Apple currently sells. The rumors turned out to be false. The phone is cheaper then the top tier iPhone, but only by $100. The 5c is simply the midtier phone. The mid-tier position had historically been held by the previous generation iPhone.

The big news of the day was the iPhone 5s. Visually, there is not much different between the iPhone 5 and the iPhone 5s. Both use the same form factor, have the same screen and have an aluminum backplate. The most noticeable visual difference is the gray aluminum is now lighter and generally agreed to be more appealing and the inclusion of a white iPhone with a gold colored anodized aluminum backplate and ribbon.

The other noticeable visual difference between the iPhone 5 and iPhone 5s is that the new Home Button lacks the white square in the middle and is now surrounded by an aluminum ring, a fingerprint scanner called Touch ID is activated when the user’s finger makes contact with the aluminum ring.

Apple provides the option to use Touch ID to unlock the phone or purchase items in the iTunes Store and App Store. A passcode is required to be used with Touch ID and is required for entry after a restart or 48 hours of down time. iPhone 5s owners do not have to use the Touch ID scanner. Users who do not use Touch ID can use a traditional passcode if they wish, but are not required to.

While the identification scanner has been fooled, the trick is hardly simple enough for a novice to execute. Apple claims 50 percent of users do not have a passcode.

Often this is because they believe typing in the passcode takes too much time. Touch ID is surprisingly quick at reading the finger and allowing authorized users on to the device without entering a passcode.

Moreover, the new system-ona-chip, the A7, which powers the iPhone 5s, is blistering fast. Some of the gains come from increased clock speed over the previous system-on-a-chip, the A6. Other gains come from the new, more efficient instruction set of the ARMv8 chip design, which also happens to be 64 bit.

The camera was updated as well. The resolution remains only 8MP—other manufactures include cameras with growing megapixel counts—however the pixels on the sensor are larger, which allows for more light to be captured and results in a clearer picture. The 5s also includes a first for any camera: there are two LEDs next to the sensor—one is white and the other is an amber color. The two LEDs can be tuned to different brightnesses, creating more naturallooking photos.

The iPhone 5s is not worth the upgrade if a user is currently under a two-year contract with a wireless provider. Those stuck with an iPhone 4S or an even earlier model, as well as owners of older non-Apple branded phones, should consider the upgrade. The upgrades from the 4S to the 5 and the 5 to the 5s may have seemed small, but moving from the 4S to the 5s feels like a very significant upgrade.

The best way to get a feel for the newest phones is to play with them and ask questions before purchasing a new one. Check the latest devices from Samsung (Galaxy S4), Nokia (Lumia 1020), Motorola (Moto X) and HTC (One). All fantastic phones.

The iPhones are available on all four major carriers in the US. The iPhone 5s starts at $199 with two-year contract. The 5c sits at $99 and is available at stores like Wal-Mart. The iPhone 4s will be free with two-year contract. Over the course of the three-day opening weekend release of the iPhone 5c and 5s, Apple sold nine million new iPhones. During the release of the iPhone 5, Apple’s record was five million new phones sold.

By Helen Patterson

Ways to Become a Super Senior For those of you not hip on the lingo, super senior is the term for someone who—due to ineptitude, unforeseen life events or crazy major(s)—is on his or her 5+ year of college.

Given the current state of the world, becoming a super senior is starting to look attractive. Here are some tips on how to delay the onset of adult responsibilities for as long as possible.

1. Just keep adding majors and minors. With today’s job market, there is no way you can be underprepared.

2. Failing all of your classes is a good way to prolong the college experience.

Unfortunately, too many failures can result in academic probation, loss of scholarships and getting kicked out of school. Use this option in moderation.

3. Choose a major or a double-major that you cannot possibly complete in four years, such as a double in Mechanical Engineering and Music Education.

4. Never take more than twelve credit hours a semester. Only lame nerds and show-offs do this anyway. Think of all the time you will have to sleep, eat and watch Netflix with all the valuable hours you are not wasting in class!

5. Pretend you have mono.

Be aware that you will have to commit to this one. If anyone sees you eating donuts at Quick Trip at two

in the morning, the jig is up.

6. Make up a name that is an anagram of your own name. Register as your own twin. Lehen will be a proud member of the class of 2017.

7. Enroll for another year even if you have already technically completed your major(s). If anyone asks why you are still at school, blame the shutdown of government, the imminent arrival of the Anti-Christ or Miley Cyrus’s VMA performance. Stare at said person until he or she leaves.

8. Switch your major every semester. I suggest that you go for majors that share absolutely no requirements. For example, you could go from Finance to French to Biochemistry to Mechanical Engineering to Nursing to Philosophy to English to Vocal Performance. Watch the eclectic credits stack up!

9. Abruptly leave school in the middle of a dark and stormy night wearing nothing but crocs and Hello Kitty pajamas. Return six months later claiming that you were abducted by aliens.

10. It’s the government’s fault. Seriously, if they cannot figure out how to compromise in order to keep important things like the National Zoo’s pandacam up and running, how are you expected to graduate?

Tantalizing flavors found in Pölka dot

wine

review

The refreshing fruit flavors found in Pölka dot Sweet Riesling go well with a number of different cheeses; from dark, savory flavors to light, soft flavors, this riesling is certain to please even the most inexperienced wine enthusiasts.

Helen Patterson Kimberly Poff Staff Writers

Everything is cooler with an umlaut, which is just one reason why Pölka dot Sweet Riesling is one of the swankiest wines on the market.

With its elegant blue bottle and vibrant pink dot, this wine will surely steal the spotlight at any party.

Riesling is originally a German grape variety, but is now grown in France, the United States and Australia, to name a few. The grapes yield a clear white wine with accent flavors significantly impacted by the country in which they were grown—in wine speak this is referred to as “terroir-expressive.”

As a grape, the riesling is also particularly favored for eiswein and sparkling wines. Eiswein is a variety of sweet dessert wine which is made from grapes that have been frozen while still on the vine. Sparkling wines are simply those which have been carbonated—for your edification whites

and rosé are made sparkling, but never reds.

A slight fizz greets the tongue at first taste, followed by a light wash of fruity flavors over the palate, and a slight aftertaste ends the sip on a high note. This makes it, like many sweet whites, a perfect wine for beginners. More experienced wine enthusiasts can either revel in the unpretentious fun, or purchase Pölka dot’s dry variety, which has a green dot.

Pölka dot goes well with a wide variety of cheeses: from the dark, rich flavors of Cahills Original Porter Cheese, an irish cheddar made with porter beer, to the light, soft flavors of the Hushållsost, the most popular cheese in Sweden. In the case of the Porter, the strong flavor of the beer and the sweet taste of the wine enhance each other without clashing or detracting from their unique flavors. For those seeking a lighter cheese, the Hushållsost melds with the Riesling to form a delightfully sweet and tangy combination.

The cheeses are a bit of a specialty, as they are both imported, and were purchased at LaDonna’s Fancy Foods (15th and Peoria).

Neither are for the shallow-pocketed. The porter cheddar runs about a $1 an ounce and the Hushållsost was $28 for a kilogram. The wine, however, will not break the bank at $10 a bottle. It was purchased at Midtown Liquor.

Irish and Swedish cheese Paired with German wine will please.

Pölka dots are great Come on: Celebrate!

Have a glass of the good ol’ Ries!

opinion

the Collegian : 7

7 October 2013

SNAP beneficial to millions, economy

Measures to defund nutrition assistance programs are illfounded, as these are some of the most well-run social support programs.

Haley Stritzel

Staff Writer

Although the idea of providing food to those in need does not seem controversial, the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program (SNAP), more commonly known as the Food Stamp Program, continues to generate political conflict.

SNAP has been in the news lately for two reasons. The 2009 Recovery Act temporarily strengthened the program by boosting benefits by 13.6 percent, or about $20-$24 per person per month.

This boost will end this November, resulting in abrupt cuts to the benefits a household can receive.

A household of four will lose about $36 per month starting in November.

Secondly, the House has recently passed a bill that proposes further cuts to the program by creating more stringent eligibility requirements. Based on estimates by the Congressional Budget Office,

this bill would result in a loss of SNAP benefits for about 3.8 million people in 2014. For a family of four, losing eligibility means an average loss of $489 per month.

SNAP is one of the nation’s best defenses against hunger for lowincome individuals and families.

Nearly 47 million Americans last year utilized the program to afford an adequate diet.

About 72 percent of SNAP participants live in a household with children; over a quarter live with seniors or people with disabilities.

These proposed cuts rely on several pervasive misconceptions about SNAP. House Speaker John Boehner said that this bill “makes getting Americans back to work a priority again for our nation’s welfare programs.” Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-KS) more bluntly remarked that these new restrictions mean that “you can no longer sit on your couch ... and expect the federal taxpayer to feed you.”

These statements are not based on fact and reflect the common misconception that SNAP recipients could have jobs but instead choose to rely on government aid.

The data say differently.

Children and elderly or disabled adults constitute the vast majority of recipients—about 73 percent.

Certain groups, like people on strike and most college students, are excluded from SNAP. In Oklahoma last year, only two percent of SNAP recipients were unem-

ployed, able-bodied adults without dependents.

Furthermore, SNAP already limits access to benefits for ablebodied adults’ without dependents . Unless they are working 20 hours per week, such adults can only receive benefits for 3 months out of every 3 years.

Currently, states can apply for waivers to this rule for areas that have demonstrated high unemployment rates.

The new bill would completely eliminate this waiver in an attempt to save money. Cutting the waiver

areas where jobs are scarce and cannot afford to move elsewhere will abruptly lose a vital safety net.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, who led the creation of the bill, argues that these cuts are necessary because of the abuse that “hardworking, middle-class Americans” end up paying for.

In actuality, SNAP has one of the most thorough payment measurement error systems of any public benefit program. States must pull a sample of cases to check for accuracy of eligibility and benefit decisions.

Graphic courtesy of U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

is both unnecessary and harmful.

Its usage has already been steadily declining due to improved labor markets in some areas.

This pattern will likely continue as the economy strengthens. However, the people who still live in

Federal officials later review a subsample of these cases. States that have error rates consistently higher than the national average are subject to financial penalties.

In 2011, SNAP had a payment accuracy rate of 96 percent. In

other words, underpayments or overpayments only made up about four percent of cases. Over 98 percent of the SNAP benefits that were distributed went to eligible households.

The rate of trafficking, or the exchange of benefits for cash, is one percent.

The use of EBT cards, which act as credit cards that can only be used for the purchase of food, have also reduced rates of fraud and abuse.

These misconceptions and their codification into public policy have devastating consequences.

According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, in 2011 SNAP kept 4.7 million people above the poverty line when counting SNAP as additional income.

Furthermore, the Congressional Budget Office ranked an increase in SNAP benefits as one of the most efficient spending and tax options for boosting the economy and encouraging job growth.

SNAP does not act a replacement for work, but rather as a way for Americans to supplement their diet during times of economic hardship.

If these proposed cuts go into effect, millions of low-income Americans will lose an essential resource for ensuring adequate nutrition. Cutting SNAP is an irresponsible and misinformed proposal that will weaken, not strengthen, the economy.

No one wins with arbitrary testing cutoffs The state superintendent’s arbitrary increase of required EOI scores will not improve high school outcomes.

Giselle Willis

Staff Writer

Suppose that to graduate high school, you had to run a mile in under 10 minutes. After showing up to the track in your hardiest sneakers and brightest socks, construction on the field delays your test for two hours, but you manage to run the mile in exactly 9.5 minutes.

Congratulating yourself on a job well done, you await a certificate denoting your “satisfactory” performance, but instead, you get the “poor” performance sheet because the state has spontaneously decided to decrease the minimum amount of time needed to pass to 9 minutes.

Suddenly, you’re worried you won’t graduate.

According to Tulsa World, Rob Miller, principal of Jenks Middle School, raised this exact scenario at the Tulsa Parent Legislative Action Committee meeting held September 19th. Miller’s mile under 10 minutes is meant to represent state implemented End of Instruction (EOI) testing.

The arbitrary changing of minimum requirements echoes state superintendent Janet Barresi’s decision to “increase ‘cut scores’” in August for tests taken in April in

are meant to measure the existing rigor of a classroom, so changing the minimum score after tests have already been taken was a very poorly timed decision.

Barresi’s definition of rigor is much too vague to be put into practice; apparently the word is so meaningless that she can arbitrarily change scores to increase it. She needs to define it with a clear set of standards before the school year actually begins.

Understandably, scores on EOI tests for this year were remarkably worse than normal. Oklahoma’s

order to “increase rigor in public school classrooms,” as she told Tulsa World in a news conference.

Changing the cut score in order to increase rigor in classrooms is counterproductive. The tests, aptly named End of Instruction tests,

Education Department sent out a reassuring email to placate parents about the dismal scores but to no avail. The EOI tests were much discussed at the Tulsa Parent meeting; parents and educators alike are disgusted.

“The problem with standardized testing is that it is standardized”

The Tulsa World reports that Broken Arrow’s assistant superintendent of instructional services, Janet Dunlop, asked, “What do they mean by rigor? Does that mean we’re just increasing the cut score? Well, that’s not increasing rigor. That’s increasing the cut score.”

At the meeting, Stan Trout, principal of Sand Springs’ Charles Page High School, declared that “the EOI was never designed as a measure of high school competency,” and that “excessive testing is disrupting … class time for high school students” and forces teachers to “teach to the test.”

Which is not to say that it’s necessarily a bad thing when a teacher teaches to a test, especially if the teacher is actually in charge of this test and has worked with particular strengths and weaknesses of individual students.

The problem with standardized testing is precisely that it is standardized, so that if a student shows personal advancement or decline, this is not taken into account.

Rather, the individual student’s scores are standardized in com-

parison to those of other students, and when taking into account only the average, those who struggle feel neglected and those who excel feel bored.

Miller continued with his analogy to detail more issues with EOI testing besides that of the arbitrary minimums.

The two-hour-long wait in the ten-minute mile story represented problems with testing company CTB/McGraw-Hill’s servers in May that kept students out of their classes and in front of “loading” screens for hours.

Furthermore, EOI exams are subject-specific, and Miller argued that running, for example, is only one aspect of physical fitness; passing a running test doesn’t mean one is completely healthy, just like passing an EOI shouldn’t measure high school competency.

In the end, educators like Trout and Sapulpa superintendent Kevin Burr felt that national ACT and SAT tests are actually better, as they are more well-rounded measurements of student competency than the EOI, even if they are still standardized.

Formality need not apply to classical music

surrounding audience members.

“For one thing, they made a hell of a lot more noise than I did, but also, you weren’t listening then!” says Thile.

In this situation, it would seem, the audience was much more interested in nagging under-gracious Matthew Magerkurth concert-goers than engrossing Student Writer themselves in the music.

The formality of classical music prevents people from enjoying it as fully as they might under different circumstances.

Thile postulates that classical Chris Thile, genre-hopping manmusicians aren’t necessarily more dolin player and MacArthur Grant uptight than non-classical musirecipient who has played pieces cians, but it’s the audience memranging from Bach to Radiohead, bers that bring in the formality. is a strong proponent of a new Brooklyn Rider, a revolutionary concept about classical music: not string quartet that visited Tulsa treating it like it’s classical music. in late September, is all about deThile references a performance creasing the formality of the music of Mahler’s Ninth Symphony he they play, and their presentation attended at Carnegie Hall.

From the audience, he latched aids their motive.

Where most quartets dress onto a particular string passage uniformly for performances, the in the third movement and, as members of Brooklyn Rider dress he puts it, “They just knocked it themselves individually, even out of the park, like mission acevading concert black clothing. complished, and they land on this They gave three performances downbeat, and I’m in this box, over the weekend, the first of and I went, ‘yeah.’” Mind you, which was in a coffee house. this was a subtle, under-the-breath Despite the extraneous noise celebration of the glory of Mahler. of the shop, this non-formal perHowever, Thile’s elation was met formance was still remarkably efwith outraged shushing from his fective, for the ensemble is full of

Classical music can easily be made more palatable to a wider audience by ridding it of formality.

engaging performers. Not only is their body language and motion a powerful emotional cue for the audience, but the musicians would

perplexing as to why it would be treated differently than classical music.

To treat them differently is to

“A lot of the things that people enjoy about pop, rock or jazz exist in classical music” consistently stare out into the audience when playing a melody.

During a lecture after the coffeehouse performance, the musicians even went so far to suggest that they don’t care if audiences clap between movements. That very act is major taboo in classical music; some of the stiffer conductors will even start the whole piece over if applause escapes the hands of the patrons.

For Brooklyn Rider, if the audience is moved to applaud, they shouldn’t contain their elation.

Deconstructing the formality of classical music is all about breaking down the barrier between performer and audience. When the audience can feel unshackled by preconceptions, the intentions of the performers and their art will be much more effective.

When we consider how effective non-classical music is, it is

assume a much greater degree of difference between them than actually exists. A lot of the things that people enjoy about pop, rock

or jazz exist in classical music.

Lyrical melodies, the intense groove or the harmonic color—all can be found in classical music.

More and more composers these days come from the non-classical world and start to apply classical techniques to rock effects.

By placing the form and intensity of non-classical styles in a classical context, composers are able to increase how relatable their music is. The walls of genres are being broken down by musicians everywhere. It is now up to the listeners to reciprocate.

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Chris Thile, pictured above, is a classical musician promoting interesting ideas regarding audience interaction with musicians.

Opinion

7 October 2013

the Collegian : 8

These articles were originally essays written as assignments for Dr. Todd Otanicar’s Sustainable Energy class. Students were asked to write essays outlining either support or opposition to the proposed expansion to the already running Keystone Oil Pipeline.

Tar sand and pipes: the merits and failings of Keystone The economic benefits of the Keystone Pipeline outweigh the environmental impact.

Stephen Theisen Student Writer

The Keystone Pipeline XL project aims to build a pipeline that would transport crude oil from Canada to the Gulf Coast directly.

This pipeline would be 875 miles long and 36-inches in diameter with a capacity to transport up to 830,000 barrels of oil per day. The construction of the pipeline would lessen US dependence on foreign oil, increase the United States’ energy diversity and provide a large number of jobs during construction.

People who oppose the construction of this pipeline are largely environmental groups who are concerned about three main things: the heavy output of greenhouse gases at the source of the tar sands hub in Canada, the continued dependence on fossil fuels and the potential for spills and leaks that could adversely affect water supply. A smaller percentage of the opposition consists of the people whose homes would be directly affected by construction.

These arguments are valid but do not outweigh the potential benefits of construct-

of the matter is that the US as a whole will continue to use fossil fuels as long as they are economically attractive and the infrastructure exists to support them.

Lastly, people who are directly affected and have “in my backyard” concerns will be compensated by the oil companies for any inconvenience the pipeline causes. It should also be noted that a large percentage of these people are landowners who have a large properties and may not be as adversely affected as anti-pipeline groups indicate.

Proponents of the pipeline point out that the potential economic benefits of the pipeline could be up to $600 million a year for just the United States.

The construction of the pipeline would also mean that the US would then have to import significantly less oil from countries like Mexico and Venezuela, whose oil productions have been declining since 2004.

That raises the question, if the US does not build this pipeline and production in the South American countries continues to decline, where will the US have to get oil from in the future?

This is a tough question that invariably has one answer: the Persian Gulf and other foreign sources. Perhaps the most prudent argument that proponents of the pipeline make is the fact that this oil will be used

“The construction of the pipeline would lessen US dependence on foreign oil”

ing this pipeline. First, the oil is going to be used whether the pipeline is built or not.

This means that the environmental groups’ argument about greenhouse gases is still well-reasoned but not necessarily of the greatest importance. Secondly, as pipeline safety technology has improved, the number of spills has fallen significantly. Also, despite the fact that this pipeline will encourage dependence on fossil fuels, the fact

somewhere in the world, why shouldn’t the United States be the one to use it as far upstream as possible? Extrapolating that thought further indicates that if the pipeline is not built a large percentage of the oil it would bring to the Gulf Coast would instead be exported to China.

In conclusion, the pipeline would provide jobs for Americans, reduce dependence on foreign oil and use that oil in the US.

The environmental toll of the Keystone Pipeline is too great to ignore.

Nick Brekke Student Writer

The Keystone Pipeline Project is a proposed 1,700-mile-long piping system that would send 700,000 barrels per day of tar-sands oil from Alberta, Canada to refineries in the Gulf Coast of the United States.

To put that in perspective, it is the equivalent of filling nearly 3.5 Olympic sized pools each day.

Proposed by the petroleum company TransCanada, it would be an extension of an already-existing pipeline built in 2010 which carries crude oil from Alberta, Canada to Oklahoma and Illinois. The final pipeline will run through six states, including Montana, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas. The check for building the pipeline would be entirely picked up

by TransCanada.

At first glance, the proposed pipelining system may seem like a desirable addition to our energy portfolio. Analysts speculate that the pipeline would reduce oil imports from the Middle East to as much as one half.

And after all, who wouldn’t like cheaper gas? But after taking a second look and exploring the consequences the pipeline would have on the United States both environmentally and in terms of the future development of renewable energy, many may hesitate, including the president.

New and updated plans for the pipeline are currently under review by the president’s office, with a final decision pending.Tar sand oil is one of the dirtiest and most polluting fuels in existence. Its pollution greatly surpasses that of traditional oil because its refinery process produces 4 to 5 times as much carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide is a byproduct formed during combustion of organic matter and also traps heat in the atmosphere, causing rising global temperatures. This pipeline would offset all current

environmental efforts being made. Although the government would be forced to tighten up other environmental policies to compensate for the pipeline, analysts believe that such efforts are not realistic and the amount of damage done to the environment by the pipeline could not be compensated for.

Another dangerous byproduct of tar-sand oil are tailing ponds. Tailing ponds are large bodies of water made up of undesirable waste byproduct of oil sands. These byproducts are produced during the extraction process.

The tailing ponds are large and are highly toxic and create toxic runoff, with measurable effects on nearby towns. Affected towns are experiencing a spikes in cancer rates, renal failure, lupus and hyperthyroidism.

The pipeline would greatly dampen the present and future development of renewable energy.

An abundant energy resource from tarsand oil would make renewable energies even less attractive due to their generally low cost effectiveness when compared to fossil fuels.

All fossil fuels exist in limited supplies, and tar sand oil is no exception. Eventually, tar-sands will also run out, and when it does we will have dug ourselves deeper into the hole of oil dependence and have only a rusty pipeline to show for it.

The environmental and economic consequences of constructing the Keystone XL Pipeline need to be properly weighed. The construction and implementation of this pipeline will certainly have some short-term positive effects.

It will relieve us of the importation of oil from the Middle East and drop gas prices at the pump. But the negative effects on the climate need to be seriously considered as well.

The pipeline will drastically increase the emission of carbon dioxide and pollutants.

Construction of the pipeline will also discourage the future development of green energy technologies such as solar cells and wind energy.

Proposed expansion of Keystone Pipeline from Canada to Texas

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Graphic courtesy of the Washington Post

This map depicts the existing Keystone Pipeline owned by TransCanada stretching from Hardisty, Alberta, to Cushing, OK, and Patoka, IL. The proposed extension depicted by the dashed line will stretch the pipeline from Cushing to Houston and Port Arthur, Texas.

page nine

the Collegian : 9

Oktoberfest brings Germanthemed cheer to Tulsa Food, music and beer will all greet attendees of this year’s Oktoberfest.

Oriana Anderson Guest Writer

In two weeks one of the greatest festivals in the country will kick off just a short bus ride away on the west banks of the Arkansas River.

That’s right, my fellow students, Tulsa’s Oktoberfest is almost here.

From freshman to frat stars, everyone can find something to love about Tulsa Oktoberfest. Take a break from Taco Bell and enjoy schnitzel, bratwurst or Bavarian cheesecake from the festival vendors.

Along with the traditional German fare, you can also find the usual carnival favorites: pizza, popcorn, funnel-cakes and just about anything on a stick.

Admission will even be free on Friday, October 18, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Patrons can come and enjoy lunch from any of 14 vendors and food trucks.

Oktoberfest at a glance: Dates: October 17-20 Thurs: 5-11 p.m.

Fri and Sat:11 a.m.-1 a.m.

Sun: Noon-6 p.m.

General Admission: $6 Autobahn Pass: $20 Wunderbar Pass: $50 SA Shuttle times: From Bayless Plaza every 30 minutes 6:30 PM – *11:30 PM October 17, 18 and 19 *subject to change – check SA website for updates Additional Information can be found at TulsaOktoberfest.org

Carnival rides will be set up as well, though I suggest you give yourself time to digest before taking a spin on one. You don’t want to reenact the carnival scene from Sandlot.

Now for the real reason you are reading this article—the beer.

Well, hold onto your lederhosen,

the mugs frequently used in beer gardens and beer halls across Germany.

After the festival, take your Maßkrug home as an everlasting memento of the night.

For those who wish to experience the festival in the light of day, there will be a brand-new Artisan

Courtesy Oktoberfest

Tulsa’s Oktoberfest, which has been ranked among the ten best in the world by USA Today, will take place October 17–20 this year.

because this year’s Oktoberfest will feature over 40 different imported and domestic beers and 144 filling stations.

For you underclassmen, Oktoberfest makes The Buck look like a dorm room pre-game.

With so many more filling stations this year, lines should be kept shorter and move quickly leaving you more time to bust out the chicken dance with the rest of the crowd.

This year will also feature the Maßkrug (pronounced, “Maskrug,” but we Americans know it as a stein) that can be refilled throughout the night for a discounted price.

This one-liter stein is not only a fantastic vessel to keep any beverage in. It also closely resembles

Alumni bike for charity

Courtesy Tim Nissen

TU alumnus Tim Nissen bikes through Colorado as a part of his cross-country trip with the nonprofit Bike & Build. For more on Nissen and Bike & Build, see p. 5.

Market featuring vendors selling European-inspired goods.

The hipster in all of us will enjoy the Euro-themed coffee bar set up by Foolish Things Coffee where you can enjoy a latte or pastry.

Think of it as practice for that study abroad trip you have always wanted to take.

Beer and coffee won’t be the only beverages offered, however.

Wine, mixed drinks, Pepsi products and various other non-alcoholic beverages will be for sale in almost all of the tents.

Sticking with the European feel, after the rest of the festival closes up at 11 p.m., one tent will remain open.

At this point, the chicken dance is no more and a DJ will take over the tunes. A disco ball will drop and the 2013 Euro-Disco can commence.

Unfortunately, the disco ball is too high to swing on like Miley Cyrus, but feel free to twerk it till 1 a.m. when the festivities finally shut down.

Another new opportunity to consider this year is the Autobahn Pass. This pass can be bought on the Oktoberfest website (TulsaOktoberfest.org) for $20 and will allow you to skip the admission line, pick up your Maßkrug and $12 in festival credit in advance.

Festival money can be used for any food or drink at Oktoberfest and can be purchased with the Autobahn Pass or at the festival itself.

If the Autobahn isn’t enough for you (or if you’re a PE major who’s rolling in dough), then also consider the Wunderbar pass for $50, which features four admission tickets, $20 in festival credit, commemorative cloisonne pin and a 2013 postcard, all contained in your beautiful Maßkrug.

Regular admission can also be purchased in advance for $6 online.

Tulsa’s Oktoberfest has been featured on the Today show as one of the top ten Oktoberfest celebrations in the country and is a mustexperience event for every TU student.

SA has sponsored shuttles to help transport students to and from the festival. Please remember to enjoy the night responsibly.

7 october 2013

from the

archives

University Men Give Statements On Average Cost per White Date

The Collegian, believe it or not, has existed in some form for over 100 years. Just recently, due to a generous grant from President Upham and with the help of McFarlin Library and Special Collections, we began the finishing touches on uploading these Collegians of yesteryear to an online database. While not yet open to the public, our browsing has led to a couple of noteworthy finds. Here is an article from the October 25, 1929, a mere four days before Black Tuesday, about the cost of a cheap date. To the best of our knowledge, the word “white” means cheap or middle-class in this context.

The other day while getting the low down on how some of the more popular men on the campus do it—I mean how they become so popular with the fair sex—the matter of cost was brought up.

For the benefit of the freshmen, by "date" I do not mean the kind you eat, or the ones you struggle with at school. In this case a "date" may be defined as a evening engagement. For further information see Dr. Finlayson.

One of the popular men told me that he likes 'em all, but he prefers that they be white. Most of the men seemed to think that the average date cost about two bucks.

When asked which type of co-ed was the most expensive, one fellow answered, "I find that brunetts are the dearest on the whole, maybe that is because I date brunettes exclusively, being rather light headed myself."

One of the football players who is equally popular on the campus explained that it all depends on the girl as to how much the date costs.

"Some of them have awfully big appetites and of course that runs up the evening expenses. If she can play the piano or has a radio that saves the cost of a show, and if her folks have an icecream freezer that saves—aw whats the use? I never saw a date yet that cost less than two-bits no matter how you work it."

They all agreed that a steady girl was not nearly so expensive

as a "love 'em leave 'em girl" but the trouble was getting the girl to agree to the steady part of it.

A big fraternity man said that he didn't like dates, as the girls like to "bill and coo" too much to suit him. "They get on my nerves," he explained. "I would rather go around with a bunch of boys any old day. Anway I am broke this week and although I hate to cut the girls out of a wonderful fellow like myself, I guess I will have to stick to the jolly good fellows and talk football."

A certain coed told me that she wanted to be a "pal" to all the boys, but they just couldn't help falling in love with her and that spoiled everything. Her advice to girls was to make the boy spend all the money he has. "If you don't he will divide his allowance and spend it on some other girls. Oh, no! I'm not taking a major in economics.

I'm a romance language student," she explained.

Another girl said that she didn't mind staying at home with a fireside date because she knew that college boys were not always flushed with money. "Anyway since the corner drug store has added delivery service we can just call up and have them send over some refreshments," she explained.

Now what was it the football said about not seeing a date that less than two-bits?

From Shutdown cover

On the other hand, senior computer science major KunWoo Dodd, who also has an NSF application due in 29 days, claimed that he has not been affected by the shutdown. KunWoo noted that some portions of the website are still up, likely referring to the presence of screenshots of the application posted online by the NSF. Unlike many other colleges and universities, most research funding at TU comes from private corporations and institutions. Only about 25%, or roughly six million dollars, comes from federal funding. The Congressional Research Service approximates that on average 60% of academic research is paid for with federal funding.

“Right now, this is merely an inconvenience,” said Chalker. The 2013 fiscal year ended in September and numerous research grants were awarded just before the government shutdown on September 30.

“Anything from last fiscal year has already been allocated,” Newton continued. “Any funding we’ve already received we can continue spend.”

Its difficult to gauge the effect the shutdown will have on research in the future. “If the shutdown continues through previously established funding deadlines, there will be some confusion about how to proceed,” said Newton. It may be some time before it is possible to truly determine the effect.

research institutions cannot be started.

“The biggest concern is submitting new proposals,” said Debbie Newton, the Director of Research and Sponsored Programs. “We’re hoping they extend the proposal deadlines.”

Chemistry professor Dr. Justin Chalker is in the process of completing an application for NSF grants. “There is no way to submit completed applications or check rules and regulations for each program,” he said.

Graduate students and some undergraduate students pursuing individual projects are affected as well. “This blackout also applies to NSF Graduate Research Fellowships—funding that is currently being pursued by students in my lab and many senior undergraduates and first year graduate students at TU,” Chalker added.

Senior computer science major Jack Lestina is applying for the NSF fellowship. His application is due within the first week of November, but the government shutdown is setting back his application process.

“The website that the NSF uses is completely down,” said Lestina.

“So I can’t look at the application, I can’t give my references to the website, I can’t tell if my recommenders have submitted their letters yet, I can’t do anything on the website.”

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Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, 918-631-2616. Requests for accommodation of disabilities may be addressed to the University’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Taylor, 918-631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accommodations.

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editor-in-chief—J Christopher Proctor managing editor—Kyle Walker news editor—Conor Fellin sports editor—Will Bramlett variety editor—Stephanie Hice opinion editor—Patrick Creedon satire editor—Anna Bennett photo & graphics editor—Jill Graves copy editor—Carly Putnam business & advertising manager—Liz Cohen distribution manager—Walker Womack web editor—Mary Carol Franko

the

7 October 2013

The State Run Media

State-Run media The government has ways of shutting that whole thing down.

SA shuts down, pizza shortage looming

Student government gridlock over Pre-Med club funding ends in a shutdown; student body doesn’t notice.

Kalen Petersen Left of Lenin

Graphic by Anna Bennett

Satan, a.k.a. The Morning Star, a.k.a. one handsome devil, is coming to bring the terror of the endtimes to America. “I regret the timing, but this was my only free weekend,” says the Lord of Darkness.

Devil Hi, it’s Satan here. I know there’s been a lot of talk about the end of the world recently—what with the government shutdown and Obamacare and whatnot—so I just wanted to take a minute to explain myself and let you know about some changes you will be seeing in the next few weeks.

Not to let the cat out of the bag or anything, but the end is near.

Actually, to be perfectly frank with you, the end is here.

Some of you are probably wondering where the fire and brimstone and horsemen of the apocalypse are. Well, hate to break it to you, but back in the day John the Revelator was known as John the Dramatic. Not to say it isn’t not gonna be good, just that all that stuff about monsters and beasts and evil numbers was a little over the top.

Which brings me to my point: things are going to get weird this week, and by the end of the month all of you will be dead. But I want to make ABSOLUTELY clear; this has nothing to do with the Affordable Care Act. Or the government

shutdown. Or any of the idiotic nonsense coming out of Washington the last few weeks.

I can see it now: the second the meteor hits L.A. next Wednesday, the internet will erupt with idiots claiming that Obama somehow had something to do with it. Jesus Christ, people, do you really think I’m that impressionable? I’ve been planning this literally since the beginning of time. Can you even comprehend that? The beginning of time.

But really, not to weigh in on American politics—I leave that one to God—but I don’t really see the big deal about this whole healthcare thing. The Democrats try to give everyone healthcare and suddenly it’s the end of the world! I mean, yes, it is the end of the world, but as I said earlier, the two are totally unrelated.

Whatever, America, suit yourself. I’ve got a human race to eradicate.

Love and Kisses,

The Lord of Darkness

Despite a flurry of last-minute negotiations, Student Association Senators failed to reach a budget agreement before midnight Monday, triggering a partial student government shutdown. With time running out on a late-night legislative session in John Rogers Hall, tempers flared as it became clear that no deal could be forged in time to avert disaster.

The shutdown was precipitated by a bitter fight over a bill authorizing funding for a meeting of Alpha Epsilon Delta (AED), the university’s health sciences club.

Passed by a party-line vote last spring, the bill appropriated money for three trays of Desi Wok rice and a pot of curry. Critics blasted the bill as a “student-government takeover of the pre-med sector.”

With the deadline for raising SA’s $18 trillion debt ceiling approaching, conservative Senators drafted a bill that would have defunded AED completely in exchange for $1.2 trillion in spending to cover a year’s worth of Mazzio’s Pizza.

“TU’s students are fed up with this administration’s out-of-control spending and big-government ways,” said Senator Adrian Gaines. “Last year alone, they spent half of TU’s GDP on the Imagine Dragons concert. Now

they’re trying to redistribute hardworking student-fee-payers’ money to people who only attend club meetings for the free food.”

SA Vice President Brett Baumgartner called the shutdown a “reckless political gambit,” accusing his opponents of hostagetaking. “Students depend on us to provide them with the most basic services, including their daily ration of free cheese and pepperoni,” he said. “Now, a few on the radical right wing want to crash the whole pizza party.”

“Speaking of the Right Wing,” he added, “this shutdown also jeopardizes John Mabee’s annual Superbowl party.”

On Tuesday, however, closeddoor meetings between top SA leaders on both sides of the aisle led to a stopgap emergency bill restoring pizza funding. “We owe it to our men and women in delivery uniform to come through for them, despite the politics of the moment,” said SA Treasurer Ben Chong.

Even with thin-crust back on the menu, all other SA services reportedly remain suspended. For example, the student organizations website “TUOrgSpace” went offline early today, which experts say could affect approximately zero people campus-wide.

Across TU, students reacted with frustration and disgust to the gridlock in John Rogers. “Look, we voted for these people. Well, I didn’t vote, but that’s not the point,” said sophomore Anna Watkis. “The point is, they need to stop acting like children and get

back to doing … whatever it is that SA does.”

However, despite SA’s current approval rating of 2 percent, a few students are actually happy about the shutdown. “Frankly, I was relieved when I read the news,” said freshman Ryan Main, the Recycling Club treasurer. “I was supposed to appear before the Senate to get snack money for our campus clean-up event. Have you ever been to one of those meetings? They’re probably the most excruciating form of torture imaginable.”

Sources confirmed that SA had debated placing all non-essential personnel on furlough, before someone pointed out that no one would be left.

After the shutdown, student politicians lost no time in squeezing political lemonade out of the budgetary lemons. Pro-AED Senator Caleb Sims called on voters to reject the “radicals” who brought SA to a grinding halt. “I call on you, the students, to go to the ballot box and let them hear your outrage. Let’s throw the obstructionists out of office! We’re taking back the Senate for the people!” he said.

“Assuming, of course, that we can find someone willing to run for Senate next spring. Kind of a big ‘if,’ to be honest,” he added.

At press time, the university announced that TU Vice President Kevan Buck will temporarily assume the responsibilities of the executive, legislative and judicial branches of SA.

University officials recycle “unsustainable” Chapman

Music fraternity in major treble Phi Mu Alpha violates the coda conduct, receiving multiple noise complaints.

Anna Bennett

Former Band Nerd It seems the fraternities on the row are not the only brotherhoods getting in trouble. The notoriously talented and charming (and typically squeaky clean) men of Phi Mu Alpha, TU’s music fraternity, have recently received a string of noise violations.

“Do you know how hard it is to sleep when there’s 4-part harmony going on at all hours?” grumbled Phil Stein, a sophomore who reported the fraternity’s wild event last week. “Such antics fall flat with me. It’s just not natural.”

The fraternity received yet another noise violation when freshman Melody Killer reported that a large group of its members were serenading her roommate from beneath the window of their dorm room. “I don’t care that it was a classy and romantic gesture that

nearly brought my roommate to tears of happiness,” insists Killer, “Phi Mu Alpha blatantly violated Lottie’s quiet hours, and I can’t just let that slide.”

Days later, another student complained of being awoken by sax sounds coming through the walls.

The problems reached a crescendo with reports of hazing. One anonymous pledge claimed that he was made to sing in public to guarantee his place in the fraternity.

“It was humiliating,” he reports, “Then when they had the others do it, they made me stay and watch!”

The student is currently in counseling to deal with the traumatic effects of the hazing.

The fraternity’s president, Singh Lowe, thinks these are minor problems. “I don’t understand these ‘hazing’ claims. Singing is what we do, it’s how we conduct our business. We’re a key part of the community. I’m not just tooting my own horn.”

Lowe’s points fell on tone-deaf ears, for the fraternity received a sharp reprimand and must scale back its recruitment efforts.

Graphic by Anna Bennett

The Risaikuru3000 makes short work of the former home of philosophy, women’s and gender studies, history and other outdated fields of study. The smoldering hole it once occupied will now be converted to a spa for engineering students.

TU goes green by recycling the entire Arts and Sciences college.

Helen Patterson A&S Refugee

After years of fierce debate, Chapman Hall was demolished and recycled last Tuesday.

Thanks to a carefully coordinated effort by Administrative

Officials and a special Japanese recycling robot, there are estimates that as much as ten percent of Chapman will be reused for new buildings such as secret government prisons, meth labs, and a bunker for the much-hated student legislature.

A moment of silence was observed, after which Bea Goyle, the head of the committee for University Streamlining, addressed a crowd of disgruntled humanities

professors and students. “We think of this as a step into the future,” she said. “When TU is finally bought out by Big Oil, will we really need philosophy majors? Is that even a thing? Plus, now we have an extra twenty grand in the budget to plate the toilets of the new-andimproved Kep with gold.”

At press time, it had been discovered that most of the demolished liberal arts building had been put into the wrong recycling bin.