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a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

september 9, 2013 issue 1 ~ volume 99

Photo by Logan Miller / Graphic by Jill Graves

Despite the inconveniences of living miles away from campus, many students enjoy the many amenities offered by the Aloft Hotel, which include up to two televisions per room, queen-size beds and a private bathroom. Located at the old city hall building downtown across the street from the BOK Center, the recently opened Aloft Hotel will dedicate a four-floor region to housing TU students without rooms on campus.

There’s plenty of room at the Hotel Oklahoma In an attempt to deal with the increasing influx of new students, TU housed eighty students at the Aloft Hotel in downtown Tulsa at the beginning of the semester. Walker Womack Staff Writer

Morgan Krueger Student Writer

Witt Womack Staff Writer


his could be heaven or this could be hell. This semester roughly eighty students found themselves in a strange predicament: living in a luxury hotel, but inconvenienced by a forced commute.

In a statement by Melissa H. France, the university’s Associate Vice President for Enrollment, she specified, “The demand for a TU education is at an all-time high, and the growth has outpaced our plans for additional on-campus housing.” In light of these concerns, it is no wonder that the administration and housing staff has sought to ease cramped conditions with alternates to the traditional dormitory. Enter the Aloft Hotel, located in the heart of downtown Tulsa, a living space carved out of Tulsa’s former city hall building. The hotel, which opened for business just this past summer, initially housed eighty TU students. Although the chic, mod interior design is a far cry from anything

one would see on campus, a student’s experience at the Aloft Hotel is not dissimilar from that of residence halls on campus. For example, RAs assist the allfreshman population and even offer the familiar peanut butter and jelly sandwich buffet “Jam-It-Up” each Sunday. Jam-It-Up provides not just a snack, but also an opportunity to socialize. “For instance, just this last week,” mentioned Aloft resident Rickey Dixon, “there was a pick-up game of Super Smash Brothers.” Students are also provided with a study lounge within the hotel for their use only. Despite such accommodations, students living at the hotel mentioned that resident life and student-to-student interaction feels

more limited than in dormitories on campus. Establishing communication, for example, can be tedious. One freshman, Denton Lewis, observed that, “there are hardly any students (at the hotel), and it’s hard to tell sometimes whether someone is a student or a hotel guest.” Dixon mentioned that students were mainly confined over a fourlevel section and that the social scene has been limited. For most people, hotel living did have one significant advantage: the quality of facilities. France’s statement further addressed the choice of this particular hotel: “This high-end facility was the best option for our students when considering the proximity to campus and the amenities we desire to provide for the hous-

ing experience.” France’s statements are not simply an attempt to gild what is not gold. Students enjoy complimentary flat screen televisions (some rooms have two), therapeutic mattresses on queen size beds, room sizes that dwarf those of John Mabee or Fisher South, private restrooms, weekly housekeeping, a window view of downtown Tulsa and, of course, the essential minifridge. Computers are provided in a business center of the type common to hotels, with a quota of five free pages printing before payment is required. A small fitness center, an eatery and heated pools are also available, although the pools are small and only four feet deep.

See Hotel page 5

Community Service Work Study Would you like to work in a rewarding atmosphere? Do you qualify for Federal Work Study? You can use your work study at a non-profit agency or school, get paid $9 an hour and change a life! Reading Partners Reading can change a child’s life! Become a True Blue Neighbors Reading Partner at Kendall-Whittier Elementary, commit to 1 hour a week and a 45 minute training session and you can be the catalyst to launch a child’s education to a higher level. True Blue Neighbor Volunteer Center The True Blue Neighbor Volunteer Center connects TU’s staff, faculty, and students to the community around us. Mentor, tutor, assist a teacher, monitor a playground or cafeteria, work in a Food Bank. We partner with over 75 agencies in and around the Tulsa area, so wherever your interests are we can find a place for you volunteer your time. For additional information on volunteer opportunities, contact Kathy Shelton in the True Blue Neighbor Volunteer Center at or call 918-631-3535.


9 September 2013

the Collegian : 2

Hurricane away, minor leagues play Tulsa Athletics begin play, dominate. The Tulsa Drillers and Tulsa Shock seasons wrap up. Victoria McGouran Staff Writer

The Tulsa Drillers finished the regular season on September 2 with a 34–36 second-half record and a 68–70 season mark. They opened the League playoffs on September 4 hosting the Arkansas Travelers at ONEOK Field in Tulsa. The Travelers scored four runs before Tulsa ever came to the plate and recorded an 8–3 victory in Game 1. The Drillers lost Game 2 by a score of 4–1 after giving up a three run home run with two outs in the top of the ninth leaving them down 0–2 in the best of five series. Game three was in North Little Rock, AR. The Travelers went up early, and the Drillers were never able to close the gap. The Tulsa Shock are currently

11–21 this season and have already been eliminated from the WNBA Playoffs. The Shock hosted the Los Angeles Sparks on Friday. The Shock fell behind by halftime, but were able to catch and lead going into the fourth quarter. The lead did not last long, and the Shock fell 74–70 to the Sparks. The Shock traveled to San Antonio to play the Silver Stars where they had one of their best performances of the season by trouncing the Silver Stars 98–65. The Shock’s last games of the season are a home-and-home with the Seattle Storm. The first game is on Thursday at the BOK Center with tip-off at 7 p.m with game two on Saturday in Seattle. The Tulsa Athletics of the National Premier Soccer League began play at the old Drillers Stadium over the summer. They went undefeated in the regular season play but lost in the first round of the playoffs in a shootout.

Olivia Blankenship / Collegian

Volleyball beats rival, wins in Waco The University of Tulsa women’s volleyball team played Oral Roberts University on Tues. at the Reynolds Center. Despite convincing TU wins in the first two rounds, ORU won the next two rounds. TU won the final round, beating ORU 16-14. The team traveled to Waco for the Baylor Classic winning the tournament 3-0 and freshman Erica Bohannon was named tournament MVP. This weekend they will be hosting the Golden Hurricane classic, with an opening game against the Arkansas Razerbacks on Friday and culminates with the a match against the Oklahoma Sooners on September 17. Both matches begin at 7 p.m.

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the Collegian : 3

9 September 2013

Struggling Hurricane pulls off thrilling comeback After a disappointing performance in its opener against Bowling Green State University, Tulsa redeemed itself with a last-second field goal by Carl Salazar to defeat Colorado State. J.Christopher Proctor Editor-in-Chief

After a long offseason full of generous preseason predictions and anticipation, the starry-eyed dreams of a perfect season for the Golden Hurricane came crashing down on the field at Doyt L. Perry stadium in Bowling Green, Ohio. While the game was close at the half—TU trailed 6–0 after missing field goals from 37 and 34 yards— the Hurricane sputtered out in the second half, falling to 34–0 before backup quarterback Dane Evans connected with Derek Patterson to bring the final to a moderately embarrassing 34–7. The loss was a full team effort, with the offense, defense and spe-

cial teams contributing to the futility. That being said, the inexperienced defense showed some promise, preforming well throughout the game when not put in sticky situations by offensive and special teams blunders. Notably absent was production from running back Trey Watts, who rushed only four times for eight yards. These struggles continued when the Hurricane returned home to face the Colorado State Rams Saturday. While the rushing game returned—TU had 215 yards, up from 51 in the opener—the offense struggled to sustain drives and execute in the redzone. Add in three turnovers, a blocked punt and a few sloppy plays on defense and the Hurricane soon found itself in a 10 point hole at the end of the third quarter. The Hurricane however had no intention of being upset in its home opener. The deficit was quickly reduced to 7 by a 23 yard field goal by Salazar, and then, after two defensive three and outs, Tulsa tied

it up with a 15 yard Cody Green touchdown pass to Derek Patterson. After Tulsa was stopped on downs with a little over two minutes to go, a stout defensive performance gave TU the ball back with a tied game 1:24 to go. With about thirty seconds left on the clock, Hurricane receiver Keyarris Garrett suffered a compound leg fracture, an injury that will keep him out for the rest of the season. Following the injury, Trey Watts broke a 45 yard run that brought Tulsa to the Colorado 22, setting up a 37 yard game winning field goal for new kicker Carl Salazar. Colorado State coach Jim McElwain thought he could ice Salazar who had struggled against BGSU, but McElwain was wrong. After using three straight icing timeouts, a CSU player jumped offside, giving TU a more manageable 32 yard kick which Salazar nailed, sealing the win for the Hurricane and earning Salazar the designation of “Star of the Week” by the Lou Groza Collegiate Place-Kicker Award.

J.Christopher Proctor / Collegian

Keevan Lucas runs from Bowling Green defenders for 15 yards after catching a pass from Cody Green in the second half of the game on Aug. 29th.

While this season might not be off to the start that many Tulsa fans had hoped for, there is still much to look forward to, as Tulsa travels to OU next weekendand then hosts a rerematch with Iowa State at home on Thursday the 26.

Both will be nationally televised. Hopefully the Hurricane can fix some of its offensive and special teams problems in the next two games before conferences play starts in October against Rice.

Logan Miller / Collegian

Ja’Terian Douglas catches a pass from Cody Green for a 17 yard touchdown pass 7:42 into the game. Douglas had two receptions for 24 yards and rushed 13 times for 43 yards. Green was 21 for 39 for 212 yards, with two touchdowns and an interception.

Men’s soccer storms to victory

Men’s soccer looking forward to another strong season under Head Coach Tom McIntosh. Will Bramlett Sports Editor

The Golden Hurricane men’s soccer team is looking to have a big year after being upset in last season’s NCAA tournament. The team started with exhibition matches in Tulsa against Memphis and Central Arkansas. They won 3–1 and 3–2, respectively. Ranked #14 in the nation to start the season, the Hurricane traveled to Omaha, NE to play #6 Creighton on August 30. The Bluejays

prevailed, beating the Golden Hurricane 2–0. The Hurricane was able to bound back and beat Drake in Des Moinse, IA by a score of 3-0 on Sept. 1st. Tulsa fell to #22 in the rankings before hosting the Holiday Inn City Center Golden Hurricane Classic at the Hurricane Soccer and Track Stadium. SMU Mustangs, The Ohio State University Buckeyes and Southern Illinois University Edwardsville Cougars traveled to Tulsa for the tournament. The Hurricane faced the Buckeyes in their first game of the tournament. Tulsa was up 2–0 at the

first half and quickly scored a third at the start of second half. The Buckeyes responded 57 seconds latter, but we unable to mount a comeback as the Hurricane went on to win 4–1. The win was head coach Tom McIntosh’s career win. The Hurricane was able to shutout the Cougars of SIUE on Sunday night. The final score was 2–0. The team will travel to Dallas to play UMKC and Hartwick on the 13th and 15th, respectively. They return to Tulsa to play Valparaiso on Friday September 20 and then open conference play against the Old Dominion Monarchs on Saturday September 28. Both games are at 7pm local time.

Young XC runners gain experience

News and Notes •

The International Olympic Committee announced Tokyo, Japan will host 2020 Summer Olympics; the other two finalists were Istanbul, Turkey and Madrid, Spain.

Wrestling will return to the Summer Olympics starting in 2020 after being dropped from the games earlier this year; wrestling was picked by the IOC over squash and a joint bid by baseball and softball.

The NFL season kicked off last Thursday with Denver Broncos’ quarterback Peyton Manning tieng an NFL record for touchdown passes thrown in a game at seven.

Florida, Notre Dame, Texas and Florida all lost in football on Saturday. The last time that happened was on Sept. 11th, 1976.

BYU rushed for 550 yards in its 40–21 win over Texas on Saturday. This was the most rushing yards ever given up by a UT team.


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“It’s an early race,” said Head Coach Steve Gulley. “We’re not held accountable for our result this early so we took advantage of it, especially with the heat this week. So we just wanted to get out and get some young kids, let them get their first race kind of under their belt. Were we happy? Sure, we’re always happy. I think the bigger races matter probably in November, so we’re a little bit different than most sports,” he said. The men’s team lost all three of their duels. The women’s team was 3–1 in their duels.

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9 september 2013

the Collegian : 4

Golden Hurri-canine takes TU by storm TU’s purr-fect new ambassador will perform at university events and serve as a therapy dog when not being tailed by adoring fans. Giselle Williams Student Writer

Found: Golden retriever with sparkling personality, cute universitythemed bandanas, and the softest fur ever. The University of Tulsa throws Captain ‘Cane a bone with the addition of a live sidekick— Goldie. Kayla Acebo, TU’s Vice President for Institutional Advancement, explained that the fourmonth-old puppy is not meant to replace Captain ‘Cane as a mascot; she is considered a “member of the TU family,” and her purpose as university ambassador is to create a closer relationship between campus and community. Not only is Goldie training to perform at football games and other social events, she is also training to become a therapy dog. This canine sweetheart is expected to visit “hospitals, nursing homes, schools, libraries and other institutions to spread goodwill,” said Acebo.

Yet trainer Susan Owen, director of Scout Film Company in Oklahoma City, is careful to introduce Goldie’s new responsibilities gradually, reassured Acebo. For now, the loveable dog continues to live in OKC, but comes to campus frequently for meet and greets as well as photo shoots. The idea of a golden retriever as university ambassador was first conceived of during a TU administrative retreat earlier this year. Acebo happily concluded that Goldie’s debut weeks here have already “brought smiles to faces all across campus.” Sure enough, a chorus of “awww’s” seems to follow Goldie wherever she goes. Ryan Decook, TU sophomore, believes she is a great addition this year “because she wins our hearts.” Freshman Julia Morgan agreed, saying that Goldie increases interest in university activities and is “a good way to get people involved,” while Sarah Beam, sophomore, believes the dog is “more interactive,” and “something to be proud of.” Acebo said that “people from all over the country have reached out to us in support of (Goldie).” Junior Kedrica Taylor worried

that “national news over a dog” is “a little overwhelming.” “I love Goldie, but we were on the front page of MSN news, and they weren’t emphasizing our huge freshman class, or any of our research—it was all about Gold-

ie,” explained Taylor. Meanwhile, the popular retriever’s Instagram account is “pawsitively” thriving with 2045 followers. Students only stop looking at her adorable photos to occasionally bemoan the fact that she has

more followers than they do. While Goldie’s media dominance can certainly seem superficial, such a golden figure could elicit not only sighs of happiness, but also interest from prospective students and donors.

J. Christopher Proctor / Collegian

Just look at him. As TU’s new university ambassador, Goldie will not replace Captain ‘Cane, but she will do tricks at sports games and act as a therapy dog assoiated with TU’s exercise and sports science programs.

Composer brings new music, insight to Tulsa Samuel Adler was in town for the premiere of his new symphony as well as his new song cycle. Matthew Magerkurth Student Writer

Samuel Adler, American composer and conductor, paid a visit to Tulsa this week to tour universities and to attend the premiere of both his new song cycle and violin concerto Saturday night performed by the Tulsa Symphony Orchestra. Adler came to TU last Wednesday to meet the composition students and faculty and address the music department in a seminar that afternoon.

Adler, the son of accomplished composer and cantor Hugo Chaim Adler, was born in Germany in 1928. His family moved to America on the eve of World War II. As a young man, he studied composition at Boston University and Harvard, earning degrees from each. After some military service during the Korean War, he started his teaching career in Dallas. Soon after, he jumped from prestigious school to prestigious school, teaching composition at the University of North Texas, the Eastman School of Music and Julliard. Even today, he maintains his status on the Julliard faculty despite living in Ohio, flying to New York a few days a week. During his address to the music

department on Wednesday, Adler displayed the utmost optimism about the future of classical music, saying, “This, to me, is the most exciting time to enter the music profession.” However, Adler also took on a cautionary tone, advising students that “it’s incumbent upon (them) often to create (their) own vacancies.” “Don’t wait for someone to offer you a job,” Adler continued. “Or even when they do, be prepared to be really creative and entrepreneurial.” Adler was always a man for entrepreneurship, creating inter-collegiate ensembles and the Seventh Army Symphony Orchestra while in his twenties.

Expressing his intense passion for music, he encouraged students to inspire others with the beauty of music. “The reason for music must be an aesthetic experience,” said Adler with characteristic fervor. “It’s your responsibility,” said Adler, “and that’s the reason you’re studying here, to give an experience to those hundreds of thousands of people; to give them a real experience with music.” Saturday night, Adler gave that type of experience to the attendees of the Tulsa Symphony Orchestra season premiere with two neverbefore-heard works. His violin concerto, played by the masterful Siwoo Kim, arrested the audience with the virtuosic activity of the first and third move-

ments and the stunning nuances of the second. The song cycle, titled Those Were The Days, featured texts by Donald Justice. Sung by Oklahoman soprano Sarah Coburn, this witty piece utilized a satiric tone and allusions to well-known musical works. Adler combined practical advice to students with a clearly inspirational message. “Today, simply being better trained and skilled than anyone else is just not enough,” says Adler. “We have to know what music can do and be able to articulate to laypeople that we have gifts to give them that will change their lives.”

New freshman class fitter, happier, more productive TU’s plan to grow its freshman classes in both quantity and quality continues with this year’s freshmen. Steven Buchele Staff Writer

As another year begins at TU, it is time to welcome all the new things on campus: the new apartments, the 35 new faculty and, perhaps most noticeably, the 868 new students. The class of 2017 is amongst the most accomplished already, according to Interim Vice President for Enrollment Management and Student Services, Earl Johnson. Their average ACT score is 28 and 74 percent of them were in the top 10 percent of their high school class. “By every definition they are an able and academically competent bunch,” Johnson said. Over 62 percent of the new class hails from outside of Oklahoma; 35 percent are from out-of-state and 27 percent are international students. “And the forecast for the future looks favorable” said Johnson,

who is already working hard at attracting the class of 2018 to the University of Tulsa. He also said there is already a “robust application pool” for next year. Johnson attributed the increase in student population to the campus’ atmosphere.“We have a small campus with the amenities of a state school,” said Johnson, “and prospective (students) are drawn by how energetic the students are on campus. We just introduce the school and let the spirit of the place do the rest.” Provost Roger Blais, saw TU’s growth as a little bit more strategic. “For more than twenty years we’ve wanted to grow in quality and not in size, but about five years ago we started looking at growing in size as well.” In the past 15 years, the average ACT score has jumped from 23 to 28. Also the number of students in the top 10 percent of their high school class has grown from roughly thirty percent to roughly seventy percent. Blais attributed much of the school’s improving quality to its transition to a residential campus. Fifteen years ago about 38 percent

of students lived on campus, now upwards of 70 percent of students and 80 percent of freshmen live on campus. Five years ago the University of Tulsa had about forty-one hundred undergraduate and graduate students. About this time, the administration decided that they wanted to grow the University by about fifteen hundred over ten years. Such a move would have raised the undergraduate population from about three thousand to about four thousand undergraduates. “Unfortunately about that time, the recession hit,” said Blais. Unlike many colleges, TU’s enrollment stayed stable during the recession. “However, with these past two years, we’re just about on target for five or six years from now,” said Blais. Almost all of TU’s growth has been in the undergraduate sector. Though there was an increase of about one hundred graduate students, that was offset by the reduction of a similar number of law students. Both Blais and Johnson expressed interest in the increase of out-of-state students. Blais attributed it to the growing reputation

Breaking Down Enrollment The class of 2017 is the largest freshman class in recent memory. Below is a break down of the number of students in each college by class standing. By Class Arts and Sciences Business Engineering Total Freshman 236 403 617 1,256 Sophomore 163 229 332 724 Junior 162 227 236 625 Senior 202 246 350 798 Non-degree 9 12 18 39

Courtesy of University of Tulsa

The class of 2017 demonstrates its school spirit by forming a giant “TU” in Chapman Stadium. The class’ size constitutes a large portion of the net increase of 269 students that TU saw this year.

of TU in the area. Johnson also thought the way that the college has been engaging prospective students through social media has has helped raise TU’s visibility throughout the world. Both pointed out the petroleum engineering program as making TU a destination school, particularly for foreign students. The fastest growing demographic of students over the past five years has been Chinese students. TU hopes that such diversity will enrich the experience for all students. Dr. Adrian J. Wurr has been brought in as associate dean of English programs for international students to help international students adjust and integrate into the campus life. Now that TU is growing, there are some additional benefits that come with a larger student body. One such benefit is the improvement of the campus corner, the blocks of restaurants adjacent to campus. Blais admitted that the campus

corner is not on par with many other colleges around the country, but as the student population grows the incentive for bookstores, coffee shops and cafes are more likely to move in, making the campus a “more interesting area for student life.” In the coming years, TU plans to hire more professors to maintain a low student-faculty ratio. This year 35 new professors were brought onto TU staff, 15 of which were filling long-term vacancies and 15 of which were either new positions or replacing recent retirees. Other years, TU has typically hired 18 to 20 new faculty. Blais partially credited this year’s higher number of replacements to some deferred retirements during the recession. “We’re looking for students who will excel here and take advantage of the opportunities here,” said Johnson. “Particularly we want students with high leadership tendencies, we want them to come here and leave behind a legacy.”


the Collegian : 5

Eye on the world:

Magdalena Sudibjo Staff Writer Asia JAPAN The Japanese government has declared its plan to create an underground frozen wall to stop the radioactive leaks in Fukushima’s damaged power plant from contaminating the groundwater. Along with the outflow from the reactor buildings itself, radioactive water used to cool the overheated reactors is now leaking from storage tanks. “The difficulty comes in actually being able to get close enough or to get into the lo-

August 16 10:40 Officers responded to a fire alarm at Lottie Jane Mabee Hall. Officers discovered that contractors had set off the smoke alarm by drilling into concrete. August 19 17:00

cations that they would require to install the wells,” said Trevor Jones, a nuclear technology consultant, in a PBS interview. The Nuclear Regulation Authority recently reported levels of radiation 18 times higher than previously thought. These levels are enough to kill an unprotected person within hours.

Staff Report On Tuesday, September 10, oft-published political comedian PJ O’Rourke will kick off this year’s presidential lecture series at 7:30pm in the Reynolds Center. O’Rourke has written for Playboy, Vanity Fair, and Rolling Stone, and has published seventeen books with titles ranging from “Republican Party Reptile” to “On the Wealth of Nations: Books That Changed the World.” However, O’Rourke certainly has not limited himself to the written word. Students familiar with him have likely heard his scathing wit and political commentary on the National Public Radio program “Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me.” Despite his often irreverent writing style, “the funniest writer in America” according to Time magazine is a serious speaker with serious credentials. As a Woodrow Wilson Fellow from Johns Hopkins, a writer for the National Lampoon in the 80’s, and a well travelled war correspondent and a frequent

“I ended up dancing to ‘Around the World’ by Daft Punk, doing rubbish robotics in my suit in front of a group of strangers,” Alan Bacon, one of the interviewees, told BBC. “Another middle aged guy looked really upset as he danced to a rap song.” “We are extremely sorry to those interviewees impacted,” Currys said in the statement. The company offered another, more formal interview to its applicants and promised to internally investigate the matter.

Flore Ouwe. Authorities have already arrested several suspects, including people in higher education institutions and other administrations. The government estimates that the oilrich country loses close to $50.3 million every year due to approximately ten thousand fraudulent state workers.


The Chilean Judges’ Association formally apologized for the human rights violations of its members during General Pinochet’s dictatorship in the 1970s and 1980s. The apology came a week before the 40th anniversary of the 1973 military coup. More than three thousand people were killed, and at least 38 thousand cases of torture took place during Pinochet’s military reign. “It must be said and recognized clearly and completely,” the members of the judges group said. “The court system,”they continued, “and especially the Supreme Court at that time, failed in their roles as safeguards of basic human rights, and to protect those who were victims of state abuse.” The Chilean courts rejected around five thousand cases asking for their assistance in locating loved ones killed or abducted during Pinochet’s reign. Hernan Larrain, former president of the Independent Democratic Union, has also recently apologized for his party’s actions during this tragic past in Chilean history.

Last Monday, Italian artist Dario Gambarin plowed a 328-foot picture of Pope Francis’ face, titled “Love Liberates,” using a tractor on a part of his parents’ farm. The large portrait is the most recent of the artist’s three similar land-art works, which have featured Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela. He created it in observation of the pope’s announcement of a worldwide day of fasting and prayer for peace in Syria on September 7. Africa



GREAT BRITAIN Currys, a British electronics retailer, apologized last Thursday after interviewers in one store made prospective employees dance in public as a part of their interview. This is not part of their standard procedure.

State prosecutors unearthed close to three thousand fake civil servant positions in Gabon’s government during a recent crackdown on corruption. “The beneficiaries regularly received monthly salaries despite not belonging to any ministry,” said State Prosecutor Sidonie

A student reported finding a very small amount of marijuana on 17 August 2013 as they were moving into their apartment in Lorton Village.

censes to pass them off as legal to drink in bars and clubs. The licenses were impounded by Security as contraband.

August 20

August 23

9:50 Officers responded to a fire alarm at Lottie Jane Mabee Hall. They discovered that workers had set off the alarm while vacuuming dust.

6:00 A resident of Mayo Village Apartments reported finding a cell phone charger and some shoes that did not belong to them upon returning to their apartment. The apartment had been unoccupied for the summer.

August 22 8:00 While doing an inventory of a found wallet, it was discovered that the owner of the wallet possessed Oklahoma driver licenses not in their name. After interviewing the underage student, the student confessed to possessing the li-

Satirist to lampoon at Presidential Lecture Eminent political satirist P.J. O’Rourke will be speaking at TU this Tuesday.

9 september 2013

satirist, he certainly has plenty of subject matter for his satire. Certainly, O’Rourke’s lecture promises an evening worth well more than the price of free admission.

17:30 An Officer on patrol at North Campus, discovered damage to the perimeter fence. While the Officer investigated the damage, a city resident approached and claimed responsibility for the damage. The resident stated that while pulling out of his driveway, he became distracted looking for his cell phone and struck the fence. August 27 1:30 Officers on patrol discovered clothing thrown up on the razor wire of the North Campus perimeter fence. Officers determined the clothing was thrown up from the exterior of the campus and was not an attempt to access the campus. August 28 12:00 Officers on patrol discovered a trash truck had fallen through a junction box cover in the alley behind the Kappa Sigma Fraternity. The truck’s front wheel broke through the cover when the truck stopped on it to let some student’s pass. The truck was not damaged and was removed by another trash truck.

South America chile

17:00 Officers are investigating how a chain and temporary pole were knocked over in the Harvard Shuttle Lot causing damage to a parked vehicle and the chain’s permanent pole. August 30 12:00 An employee reported their license plate had possibly been stolen while parked at the Mayo Village Apartments. August 31 10:50 Officers received a report of a student slipping and falling in the cafeteria of Pat Case Dining. The student claimed only a minor injury to the knee but did not require EMSA. 11:35 On 31 August 2013, a student reported their catalytic converter had been cut off their parked vehicle in the Lorton Performance Center Lot between 28-30 August 2013. There were no other vehicles damaged or disturbed in the lot and there are no suspects at this time. September 2 4:25 Officers on patrol discovered a US West resident’s car had been tampered with. A pair or running shoes and a barricade board were placed on top of the car and the windshield wipers were stood up. Officers attempted to contact the resident and removed the items. Officers could not find any observable damage to the car. The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch, except for clarity and brevity.

From Hotel cover covered a lot of downtown Tulsa and really

Courtesy of KCET

“Don’t Vote: It Just Encourages the Bastards,” one of O’Rourke’s latest books showcases his madcap style of political humor.

According to almost every student interviewed, commuting back and forth from the hotel was by far the most difficult element of living at The Aloft. The bus has been cramped during previous weeks. “Before, every seat would be full and there’d be up to ten people squeezed in who’d have to stand in the aisle,” Lewis recounted, speaking of the shuttle rides that go to and from campus in fifty minute intervals twenty-two times every weekday. “But we just got a new bus,” Lewis added. “It’s pretty nice.” A lack of comfort is not the greatest inconvenience, however. “One time the bus left a little early. I would have had to wait an hour for the next bus, missing my morning class, but luckily I know a friend who has a car.” Having to catch a bus everyday also complicates the daily struggle of any college student: hunting and gathering food. “You really have to time the shuttles right,” stated Dixon, “because once I’m back at the hotel, I really don’t feel like waiting for another shuttle to go back to get food.” Lewis agreed. “I just get to-go meals. It’s much easier.” Some students saw a silver lining in the hotel’s out-of-the-way location, however. “It’s true that I haven’t been able to take part in campus events I might otherwise have,” said Jackson James, “but I’ve already dis-

gotten to know it.” The Aloft’s close proximity to the heart of Tulsa also solves the problem of foraging for a good, albeit more pricey, lunch. “Yeah, I’ve had lunch downtown several times,” James continued, “It’s much more convenient than going back and forth (to campus).” Students at the Aloft were chosen mostly from international students and other freshman who enrolled last. When asked whether they chose their lot, both Dixon and Lewis gave a flat but jocular, “No.” In fact, the Aloft Hotel was not even an option on the fall enrollment form. The Aloft Hotel was not even open when students left campus for the summer in May. “Providing off-campus housing arrangements is not uncommon for universities, and most deal with the influx of students through partnerships with hotels or nearby apartment units,” explained France. “However,” she continued, “in preparation for this growing demand, TU has begun the planning phase for additional on-campus housing. The project will add a 300-bed residence hall, which is set to open to students in 2015.” France did not definitively state whether or not TU will continue to use the Aloft hotel next semester, but based off student reactions, the freshmen at the Aloft should survive quite nicely until then.


9 september 2013

the Collegian : 6

By Helen Patterson

Insider Tips for Freshmen

Photo courtesy Infinity Ward

In anticipation of the latest platforms, a number of major titles are expected to be released in early November. Included among these is Infinity Ward’s “Call of Duty: Ghosts,” which will now offer gamers the opportunity to play as female characters—an addition that is certainly long overdue. The game is said to be released in early November, and will be compatible with all platforms.

Revamped Xbox One to appease Following a series of negative reviews from both critics and fans, Microsoft announced a number of new adjustments to the Xbox One, due out in November. Elliot Bauman Staff Writer

When students at the University of Tulsa closed their books at the end of the spring semester, Microsoft had not officially announced a competitor to Sony’s PlayStation 4, which was announced in late February. The speculation came to an end during a press conference on May 21, when Microsoft finally unveiled their next generation console. Although some early hiccups initially dampened consumer enthusiasm, the successor to the Xbox 360 was at last revealed as the Xbox One, an all-in-one, nextgeneration experience. Early reviews called the console mediocre at best. Microsoft spent the majority of the press conference showcasing the Xbox One’s ability to play live TV and perform a number of similar features, while devoting almost no time to describing the new console’s gaming abilities. Critics slammed the Xbox One by labeling the console as Microsoft’s attempt to the “control the living room,” saying that it “abandoned the core gamer fanbase.” The weeks following the announcement did not fare much better for the Xbox One. Significant backlash arose in response to some of Microsoft’s policies regarding the new console, particularly their stance on digital rights management (DRM) and an “always online” feature. Furthermore, after the press

conference, Microsoft confirmed that all new Xbox One game purchases would be directly tied and locked to an individual user’s Xbox Live account and console. This system effectively translated to: “No used games for the Xbox One.” Microsoft also announced that the Xbox One, as well as the nowmandatory Kinect 2.0, a motionsensing input device, would be “always on” and would require a constant internet connection, checked every 24 hours. Failure to maintain such a connection would essentially lock the console until an internet link was re-established. This policy was to be applied to all games and functions. Some critics suggested that Microsoft could use the “always online” policy in conjunction with the Kinect 2.0 camera and microphone to monitor users and assist in targeted advertising. Towards the middle of the summer, in response to the widespread negative feedback regarding the Xbox One, Microsoft began a series of reversals and policy changes. First to go was the DRM policy; on June 19, Microsoft announced that the Xbox One would support used games. The required internet connection was also dropped shortly after. More recently, on August 12, Microsoft stated that the Kinect 2.0 would be included as a bundle with the Xbox One, but not required for console functionality. Microsoft also confirmed compatibility with third-party headsets and backing for indie games, both of which previously had unsure futures on the new platform. Despite its rocky road following the initial announcement, this reviewer feels that the Xbox One truly will be a “next generation experience.” The new console will be a significant improvement, both graphically and feature-wise, over the current Xbox 360, which is now eight years old. Much like the PlayStation 4, the Xbox One has

been designed around PC architecture, particularly the 64-bit version of the most common CPU instruction set, x86, and will feature an eight core AMD processing unit. Furthermore, the Xbox One will make significant use of cloud computing and gaming. Gamers will now have the ability to save and store their entire media library to the cloud, although traditional storage options will still be available. In addition, the controller has been entirely revamped. Featuring 40 new improvements over the 360 controller, the Xbox One controller contains entirely redesigned joysticks, buttons and D-pad. The device will be able to detect tilt, and will employ smart, dynamic, controller vibration, designed to offer a more immersive gaming experience. Despite the many new features, the Xbox One would be severely lacking without a grand host of accompanying new games. Fortunately for the players, there are plenty of new titles to get excited for. Some of the most notable include: “Forza Motorsport 5,” “Call of Duty: Ghosts,” “Destiny,” “Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag” and a new Halo game. The Xbox One will also feature the highly anticipated “Titanfall,” which won Best of Show at the Electronic Entertainment Expo in June. The Xbox One will be available in the United States on November 22. For the enthusiasts, a limited “Day One” edition is available. This special offer includes an engraved commemorative controller, special packing, an exclusive achievement and guaranteed availability on November 22. Both the standard and “Day One” edition of the Xbox One will cost $499 and will include the console, the Kinect 2.0, a controller, a stock headset and all necessary cables. The Xbox One is available for pre-order through numerous major retailers such as Target, GameStop and Amazon.

“Kick-Ass 2” full of forced excitement

Despite its potential, “KickAss 2” lacks the humor and violence that characterized the first movie, while playing on the importance of selfreflection and alienation to its teenage heroes. Helen Patterson Staff Writer

“Kick-Ass 2,” the aptly-named sequel of the 2010’s “Kick-Ass,” stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson as high-school senior Dave Lizewsk, who moonlights as the superhero Kick-Ass, and Chloe Grace Moretz as Mindy Macready, who is much more comfortable as her ruthless alter-ego, Hit Girl. Christopher Mintz-Plasse plays the firstever super villain, Chris D’Amico, whose villainous identity is too impolite to be printed in The Collegian. D’Amico has sworn revenge on Kick-Ass, whom he holds responsible for the death of his father in

the franchise’s first film. “Kick-Ass 2” retains some of the action-comedy elements featured in its predecessor. There are several jokes, and many pulseracing fight songs. Though some of the fight sequences feel a little forced, there are a number of inventive, comic-book style killings and mutilations. For all the faults in the script, Moretz portrays Hit Girl’s blend of psychotic killer and vulnerable teen with a surprising amount of grace. Despite its potential, the film is uncomfortable and poorly paced, lacking the boundary-pushing elements of the first movie. This leaves the viewer unsatisfied. “Kick-Ass 2” also fails to sufficiently use some of its excellent secondary characters. Jim Carrey’s portrayal of Colonel Stars and Stripes barely qualifies as a cameo, making you wonder whose decision it was to cover Carrey, a brilliant actor, up with a mask and stick him into a one-dimensional role. “Kick-Ass” featured horrific events and grotesquely violent deaths, but the movie maintained an irreverent, childlike tone. The violence was unselfconscious, unreflective and fun. But “Kick-Ass

2,” like much of the adolescent lives of its protagonists, is painfully self-conscious. Kick-Ass spends much of his screentime feeling anguished about the amount of blood on his hands, torn between his dual roles of vigilante and and normal teenager. He and Hit Girl speak of the teenage world with the same alienation and nostalgia that adults use when speaking about their childhoods. Kick-Ass and Hit Girl navelgaze between brutal murders, comparing their current affinity for gratuitous violence and the possibility of being normal teenagers. And despite the constant assertions that violence begets more violence, that there are ways to beat bullies at their own game, that identities should be revealed and alter-egos laid to rest, the main characters become the parts they played. They ultimately lose themselves in their alter-egos. I wanted so badly to like “KickAss 2.” I longed for the giddy, irreverent and sick humor that comprised the first movie. There is so much promise in the concept, yet this made the actual product all the more disappointing.

1. The State Run Media is TU’s premier satire section, appearing weekly on the back page of The Collegian.

was fired mainly due to betting on the outcome of games. Illegal, unethical and generally not cool.

2. The Collegian has been waging open war in The State Run Media against Oral Roberts University since March. As far as we know, ORU has not retaliated. Probably because they know that we would win.

7. You may see a certain “King” John Lepine mentioned, especially in The State Run Media. Lepine was a superhuman being who graduated last year. Although he is gone, may his reign live on in print!

3. Goldie, the newly adopted golden retriever, is not TU’s mascot; she is an ambassador. Our official mascot remains Captain ‘Cane, and we are “The Golden Hurricane.”

8. I hate to break it to you, but chances are you spent Orientation Week cultivating friendships with a group of people you will awkwardly avoid eye-contact with come senior year.

4. Make friends with an upperclassman Presidential Scholar. Those nerds are loaded with Dining Dollar wealth. Hope you like pasta and waffle fries...

9. The Collegian is always looking for writers and photographers. If you are interested, come to our meetings every Monday at 5 p.m., in Oliphant 106.

5. For a few months last fall, Geoffrey Orsak was president of TU. He was booted for reasons that remain unclear. Hearsay, speculation and rumors abound.

10. Are those disgusting crickets in your room, under your feet, swarming all over the library, flying in your face? Those were here last year. And they will probably be back next year with their accompanying body parts strewn about and horrible smell of death. Welcome to TU.

6. Last year was a year for firing top officials: in addition to Orsak, TU lost its athletic director, Ross Parmley. Parmley

Soul food: Local eatery Elote buys local Located on 6th and Boston, Elote serves up Mexican favorites, Luchador wrestling matches and tequila, all while purchasing produce from local growers. Anna Bennett State-Run Editor

Wednesday. And you know what that means: it means you will find me stuffing my face with puffy tacos at Elote, just a jaunt down 6th on Boston. Now, folks, I like food. I eat a lot. I am not picky; I consider my palate to be diverse in taste, and perhaps even a tad refined. BUT the vegetarian puffy tacos at Elote are the nearest I have ever come to crying over an item of food. The puffy little tortillas are light and almost buttery, piled high with an aromatic concoction of sweet potato, black beans, onion, pico and crema fresca. The flavor array is just perfect, and unexpected to boot. It is probably not healthy how much I think about these tacos. And like I said before, Wednesdays are puffy taco night, which means they are $2 apiece (they also have chicken tacos, which are good, but I play favorites). Puffy tacos are by no means the only culinary draw to this downtown favorite. There is something for every taste, and you will find more unusual fare offered alongside Mexican favorites—done Elote style, of course. I would love Elote even if they did not serve puffy tacos (though that does not hurt). The restaurant

is really nifty-looking, and their whole vision of local pride mixed with exotic flavor is very charming, original and accessible. Plus, they are really responsible about the impact of their food and business. They buy local, they compost, they use biodegradable materials, and all that feel-good hippie jazz. It is good for the tummy and the soul. All of this means that the entrees are a bit pricey for college kids ($10–14), but oh, is it worth it. Screw that Olive Garden and Red Lobster garbage. Go local. But Elote is not only great for lunch and dinner. They hold Luchador wrestling matches on a regular basis inside the restaurant (yes, there is a tiny fighting ring). Every Friday night at 9pm, the ring turns into a stage for Luchador Karaoke; let’s just say I cannot remember the last time I had so much fun. The bar is well-known for its selection of tequila, and even has a “tequila club” for those who want to try 30 different varieties in order to get their name on the wall. I am currently obsessed with their margaritas, which I am pretty sure contain some sort of magic. And for those looking to be adventurous and thrifty, they have a rotating “beer of the month” which is $3. So ten bucks on a Wednesday buys you three tacos and a beer. Just putting that out there. Owner and chef Libby Auld has created something really amazing in the heart of downtown. There are few locations in Tulsa that are both hip and utterly unpretentious, and whose bar beverages and culinary fare give each other a run for their money. And Auld herself can often be spotted selling tacos from the Elote truck or singing karaoke on Friday nights. With any luck, Tulsa will soon get just as cool.


the Collegian : 7

9 September 2012

Syria: the intervention dilemma By the most up-to-date estimates, between 80,000 and 110,000 people have been killed and up to 5 million displaced by the ongoing conflict in Syria between the government of Bashar al-Assad and opposition forces. We set out this week planning to present a more conventional point-counterpoint argument for and against US involvement in the conflict, but quickly found that the issue was too complex and too important to be reduced those sorts of battle lines. So we elected to try something more experimental. Below you will find a topically organized set of responses to questions generated in conversations amongst the writers. Steven Buchele, Nikki Hager, Matthew Magerkurth, J. Christopher Procter, Kyle Walker and Giselle Willis contributed to this report.

What’s at stake on a global scale? Giselle Willis Student Writer

The United State’s interest in the Middle East and North Africa is fairly well known by most Americans. Starting in the early 1990’s and intensifying after September 11, the region has been a center of American focus for issues ranging from natural resource availability to international security. A RAND report for the U.S. army funded in 2008 describes how the geographic area of proven oil reserves coincides with the power base of much of the Salafijihadist network. The report goes on to predict the negative effects of population growth and Sunni-Shi’a tension that the United States could potentially exploit to accomplish its strategic goals. British Prime Minister David Cameron and French President Francois Hollande were reportedly eager to punish Assad but are now retreating because of confusion over whether Assad or rebels launched the chemical attacks. Meanwhile, Syria and Russia have been allies for a long time. When Qatar proposed running a pipeline through its Northern fields in 2009 with the intention of courting European markets, Syrian president Bashar al-Assad did not sign the agreement because he claimed to be protecting Russia,

Europe’s top supplier of natural gas. However, in 2010, Assad decided that a $10 billion pipeline plan with Iran sounded like a better idea. The plan, which also allows Iran to reach European markets, didn’t exactly please Qatar. In fact, the entire Arab League asked Assad to resign his presidency last year, and the UN Security Council would have done the same if the action had not been vetoed by Russia and China, two countries interested in keeping Western influence out of the region. Saudi Prince Bandar bin Sultan has even attempted to bribe Russia to switch sides because of Saudi Arabia’s interests in bringing down Iran (Syria’s ally), its competitor for regional dominance. Turkey and other Arab governments have housed rebel leaders and supplied them with arms as well. Israel, initially in favor of the Alawite regime in Syria as opposed to a radical Sunni regime, now prefers Assad’s regime to fall so Iran will lose a valuable sector of its sphere of influence. Iran and Iraq, however, continue to back Damascus, so that conflict in Syria can be termed a brewing proxy war between their Shia axis and a loose Sunni coalition consisting of Islamist groups, Gulf states and Turkey. Graphic by Jill Graves

















Though the Obama administration’s expressed goal behind his push for “limited” strikes against Syria is to punish the Assad regime for its use of chemical weapons, the president has explicitly disavowed any intention to alter the balance of power in Syria. However, it does not seem immediately clear whether that will remain a stable, long-term position. Criticism of Obama’s plan stems from a contrast between the administration’s strategic objectives and the possible consequences of intervention. The stated objective is highly abstract and long-term while the immediate consequences of acting are concrete and impact the short and long-term. For example, it is possible that lobbing a couple cruise missile at


U.A.E Graphic by Jill Graves

Syria’s geographical position imbues it with substantial geopolitical importance: oil pipelines from other parts of the Middle East pass through Syria to reach European markets, and it is, of course, a continuing player in the Israel-Palestine conflict. Russian interest in the country may at first seem odd, but the two countries are physically closer than they seem, and the Syrian city of Tartus houses the last Russian military base outside the former USSR and is Russia’s only direct access to the Mediterranean Sea.

The importance of maintaining chemical weapon norms J. Christopher Procter Editor-in-Chief

Kyle Walker Managing Editor

“Why intervene now, and not earlier in the conflict?” asked an August 28 CNN article. For many commentators the supposed importance of responding specifically to a chemical weapons attack is lost in the sheer numbers of other people killed by conventional means. Since “it’s all tissue damage,” as argued by Gavin de Becker in a September 5 Huffington Post article, chemical weapons use should not constitute a “red line” for U.S. action. These concerns rely on a notion of equivalence: all methods of killing are equally egregious. This case is easily made from a purely ethical perspective. But from the perspective of a global geopolitical ethic, the usage of chemical weapons, like the usage of nuclear weapons, carries a different stra-

Potential consequences of US involvement Managing Editor



­—from the Geneva Protocol 1925 Assad’s assets will deter future belligerents from using chemical weapons, but banking on such a possibility is highly speculative. In contrast, we can be relatively certain the U.S. military action will cause harm to Syrian citizens, whether they be civilian or combatant. We certainly can’t entirely count on the administration’s claims that selective targeting will preserve the balance of power and must keep in mind the possibility that the balance of power could change in the months succeeding U.S. military action. If it does there will be no stopping the perception that US intervention had something to do with it. Similar concerns dominate the question of providing material aid to rebel forces. Here Afghanistan circa 1979 plays a major role. The consequences of providing mate-



“the use in war of asphyxiating, poisonous or other gases, and of all analogous liquids, materials or devices, has been justly condemned by the general opinion of the civilized world”

Kyle Walker


rial aid to the anti-Soviet mujahideen were writ large in Taliban efforts to establish a fundamentalist Islamic state in Afghanistan. In either case, the opposition groups of the conflict are variously composed of anti-Assad Syrian organizations like the Free Syrian Army and Syrian Islamic Liberation Front; al-Qaeda linked groups like Jabhat al-Nusra, which counts Syrians, Iraqis, and others amongst its members; and, generally, a mixture of non-sectarian, Islamist and jihadist groups. In the event that the opposition forces gain the upper hand, the United States would likely be seen as an indirect cause, and therefore as an indirect cause of what some fear would follow an opposition victory: bloody ethnic and religious reprisals. Assad himself still holds the support of many from amongst Syrian religious and eth-

tegic, tactical and political import than conventional weapons. For example, most chemical weapons cause zero structural damage making them ideal for attacks on civilian targets which one already controls or expects soon to control. In this sense, chemical weapons are fairly low cost, high yield weapons. It is far less costly for a dictator to gas an entire area and clean out the bodies than to bomb the area or scour it with soldiers. Nuclear arms non-proliferation treaties enjoy a broad consensus. Chemical weapons need be no different. One can support a chemical weapons ban without endorsing the notion that other kinds of lethal weapons are acceptable—one need only believe that making wars more costly to prosecute always has value. Since the Geneva Protocol signed in 1925 the world has sustained a semi-successful ban on chemical weapons. Despite the

atrocities of the Second World War (including the use of chemical weapons in Nazi extermination camps), chemical weapons were not used in battle nor were they dropped on populated cities. Chemical weapons are not a norm of modern warfare and their use is now an exception—with notable uses by Egypt against Yemen in the 1960’s and Iraq against both its Kurdish populations and Iran drawing international criticism. Chemical weapons are bad not just because they kill people, but because they kill large numbers of civilians while providing little tactical military value and leaving no infrastructural damage. The world is better off because of their relative scarcity, and while maintaining that state may seem like a far off and abstract benefit, it is a real one that must be considered when determining what course of action to take in response to the most recent breach of international law and convention.

A (very) condensed history of Syria: c. 6000 BCE – now Nikki Hager Staff Writer

The Syrian capital of Damascus is the oldest continuously-inhabited city in the world, inhabited for over eight thousand years. As part of the Fertile Crescent, ancient Syria was highly sought after, causing thousands of years of endemic warfare. After the thousand-year rule of Arab Muslims, the Ottoman Empire conquered Syria. The Ottoman administration promoted a nonviolent coexistence of the countless ethnic groups that inhabited Syrian society. World War I changed everything. The Empire fell, resulting in a power vacuum. Prince Faisal I, King of Syria, pursued a panArab state, uniting Syria with the rest of the Fertile Crescent. Instead, WWI victors Britain and France signed the Sykes-Picot Agreement, dividing the Middle East between the themselves. What followed were years of oscillations between French rule, civilian government, and violent coups. nic minorities, particularly Alawites, Druze, Christians and Kurds, because many fear the result of a successful opposition coup when Islamist and jihadist fighters play a substantial role in the opposition. The Obama administration is thinking in the long term. By intervening, the hope is to reinforce

From the time that France left in 1946, Syrian politics were rocked by instability and upheaval. Power concentrated in the hands of the military and parliamentary institutions dominated by elites as the mid 20th century was marked by war with Israel, an alliance with the Soviet Bloc and a failed state convergence as a United Arab Republic. In 1966 a coup within the party left Hafez al-Assad supreme ruler of Syria. Since, Hafez alAssad and his son Bashar alAssad have remained in control. Beginning with Syria’s alignment with the Soviet Union, U.S.-Syria relations have remained largely negative. In 2002 President George W. Bush added the nation to “the Axis of Evil,” a group of so-called “rogue states” seeking to obtain chemical and biological weapons, resulting in a series of economic and political sanctions. In 2011, pro-democracy revolts began as part of the Arab Spring. Assad, cracking down on rebel forces, is accused of using chemical weapons on civilians. the international norm against chemical weapons preventing future aggressors from deploying them against civilian or battlefield targets. The administration’s critics, however, cannot disregard the immediate ramifications and the potential long-term complications of a military strike.


9 September 2013

the Collegian : 8

TU growth downsides outweigh benefits The University of Tulsa’s rapid growth is disastrous when it admits students without building the facilities needed to support them. Morgan Krueger Student Writer

TU is growing. That is an undeniable fact. The question of why TU is growing is a much more difficult question to answer. Yet the reason behind such growth isn’t the problem, it’s how poorly such growth is be-

hotel. A hotel! When freshmen are told they are required to live on campus, they likely expect that such housing will actually be on campus, not in a hotel a ten-minute drive away. If there is not room for all students then why are so many being accepted? When a student agrees to attend a university, it is assumed that the university is prepared for that student’s arrival. TU should be no different. TU’s aggressive growth has also affected classes. TU claims their classes are not impacted, but with this year’s wave of freshmen that claim has become suspect. Waiting lists have sprung up for many of the more popular classes. Rumors of a hiring freeze in some departments have spread, causing concern about the university’s national ranking. If the stu-

tinue to be aggravated by the growth of the student population. This includes things such as the difficulty of finding parking in one’s allotted parking lot to not having enough room for freshmen orientation activities. An excuse is that more freshmen have been accepting the offer to attend the University of Tulsa than expected. That’s great! But wait—isn’t that what waiting lists are for? If more students are

“If more students are choosing TU, fewer need to be sent acceptances.” ing dealt with that is causing issues. This growth is problematic. When fighting your way through the cafeteria becomes one giant game of sardines, something needs to be done. The most glaring evidence of TU’s overgrowth is the lack of housing. Roughly eighty freshmen are currently residing in a

dent-to-faculty ratios continue to increase, that could negatively impact TU’s prestige. While trouble changing classes is mostly affecting freshmen such difficulties could easily spread to the higher classes if such unchecked growth continues. There are other issues at TU which con-



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choosing TU, fewer need to be sent acceptances. When the numbers come in and TU still has room for students, then a second wave of acceptances can be sent out. Many schools do this, which is a better alternative than having more students than can be properly provided for. Furthermore, this mysterious phenomenon of large freshman classes has happened several times over the last couple years. How can this be a coincidence? A bigger school is better, right? If TU is going to grow as a university in quality doesn’t it also need to grow in numbers? Well yes, but this growth will only be detrimental unless it is done correctly. The correct way for TU to move forward is for the university to expand facilities before the student population. Increasing the number of students ahead of scheduled expansion will continue to cause hassles and problems for all people on campus and has potential to damage the reputation of the university. While it’s great that the university is looking to grow, let’s not neglect those students who are here now and who deserve the quality educational experiences on which the University prides itself.

O’Rourke not presidential material P.J. O’Rourke is a poor choice for a speaker at a presidential lecture, as his writing style is not the satirical master work he thinks it is. Kimberly Poff Student Writer

This Tuesday, September 6th, PJ O’Rourke will give the first lecture in the Presidential Lecture Series. The bio on his website presents him as “America’s premier political satirist.” This is perhaps true if “satire” is interpreted in the strictest sense of the word. O’Rourke has published seventeen books on politics, politicians and economics holding all three up to relentless reviling and ridicule. If, contained within the derision, there were even a hint of constructive criticism or call for social change, Mr. O’Rourke would be a perfect fit for the Presidential Lecture Series — the stated aim of which is to “enrich discussion in the arts, humanities, sciences, technology, education, and public affairs.” Satire is always welcome in a serious discussion the affairs of the nation. In the 2011-12 Presidential Series satirical novelist Jonathan Franzen spoke. Unfortunately O’Rourke does not write satire. There is no construction whatsoever. The introduction to his 1992 book Give War a Chance ends on this note: “At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child – miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless.” Much of O’Rourke’s comments aren’t criticism at all but name calling. Instead of using irony to point out systematic flaws in a political or economic philosophy he resorts to the intellectual equivalent of “yo momma” jokes with bigger words. But wait! Perhaps there is still hope for rational inclusion in the lecture series. He can speak to humor. Students can certainly gain from a discussion of the appropriate uses of humor in literature. Humor can allow difficult topics to be addressed without undue

The Collegian is the independent student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law in its programs, services, aids, or benefits. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, 918-631-2616. Requests for accommodation of disabilities may be addressed to the University’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Taylor, 918-631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accommodations. Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or The Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email The Collegian at or The deadline for advertising is 5 p.m. on the Thursday prior to the publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the entire Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words. While we do not require it, letters sent via e-mail to the Collegian are encouraged. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Saturday prior to publication.

despair, highlighting the incongruities of a situation to make them less stressful. Let us examine a choice quote from O’Rourke in light of this definition. “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the MercedesBenz 380SL convertible.” This is not incongruous it is simply sexist. The “humor” in this quote relies on broad sweeping misconceived generalizations which do nothing to bring fresh perspective to any situation. O’Rourke can be said to be an equal offender. His “humor” is based on all types of sexism, racism, bigotry and xenophobia. For example, he criticizes the culture of the middle east in an interview with Colin Powell in the Atlantic where he said “There’s a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.” He makes light of domestic violence when speaking of his Irish heritage to USA Today: “There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you’re fortunate — and both of us are — you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.” Being equally offensive to everyone does not make someone fair-minded or an example to students of right discernment. It makes them petty and unconstructive. It is a pity to include this kind of small mindedness among the broadening perspectives that have been presented in the series before. Last years series featured Michael Tilson Thomas, the director of the San Francisco Symphony, Robert Caro, a presidential biographer, and Robert Sapolsky a professor of biology and neurology at Stanford. It stands to note that the last of these is a humorist in his own right; using humor to bring light to the biological development of stress. I think I have adequately demonstrated that PJ O’Rourke is not enriching any discussion about anything and is therefore not in the spirit of the Presidential Lecture Series. If you are uncertain about my claims I encourage you to Google and read the collection of quotations which arise. If you are feeling particularly masochistic you may even like to read his books, but do not buy them!

editor-in-chief—J Christopher Proctor managing editor—Kyle Walker news editor—Conor Fellin sports editor—Will Bramlett variety editor—Stephanie Hice opinion editor—Patrick Creedon satire editor—Anna Bennett photo & graphics editor—Jill Graves copy editors—Haley Stritzel, Carly Putnam business & advertising manager—Liz Cohen distribution manager—Walker Womack web editor—Mary Carol Franko

9 september 2013

the Collegian : 9

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9 september 2013


the State-run media

State-Run media We’re back with a government-funded vengeance.

TU seeks “monopoly” on Tulsa Hotels

University plays high-stakes property game—what’s the next move? Graphic by Anna Bennett

“Best days of my life”

New freshman has time of his life at New Student Orientation. Anna Bennett Orientation Skit Writer

Samuel Youngman, a freshman at TU, recently declared in a statement that Orientation is already his “best college memory.” Youngman fondly recalls long, awkward ice breakers with his group, lamenting that although he made strong connections with his peers over “Never Have I Ever,” nobody seems to “want to hang out anymore.” “I feel like a lot of my fellow group members don’t understand the spirit of Orientation,” posits Youngman. “It’s more than a week; it’s a special place in your heart.” Thanks to his stellar Orientation experience, Youngman has already become jaded with the harsh realities of real college life. He has found it difficult to make friends in his classes or at clubs

with shared interests, and wishes every day was a little more like Playfair. “I made some friends I’ll have for life at Playfair, and it’s really meaningful to see them in the halls and be all ‘oh hey, we put our heads together at Playfair, remember?’” Youngman regrets to report that he was the only one from the Playfair group who went to their scheduled reunion. “I guess college can distract you from what’s important,” observes Youngman sagely. Youngman is unenthusiastic about getting involved and participating in campus life, saying that going to a slapped-together athletics rally featuring a pizza eating contest is “way more fun” than attending an actual sporting event. When asked if he planned at attend any TU theatre productions, Youngman seemed apathetic: “I just don’t think anything will be able to top those really excellent and hilarious skits at camp. I mean, did you see that brilliant choreography? Whoever wrote those skits is a genius.”

Wrath of ‘Cane

University mascot turns Golden with envy over cuddly-wuddly ambassador. Fraser Kastner Shameless Gossip Spreader

Captain Cane, weather-based superhero and official mascot of the University of Tulsa, confirmed his growing jealousy toward Goldie, the University’s official ambassador. “I can’t believe I’m being upstaged by a dog. The little runt doesn’t even do anything,” an exasperated Cane said Wednesday. “It’s like no one even remembers me. It’s just ‘Oh, look, Goldie’s playing in the fountain, better put this on the news.’” Goldie, the five-month-old golden retriever adopted by the university, has been featured on shows such as Good Morning America and Deadspin, and has also been covered by that illustrious beacon of serious journalism, the Tulsa World. Goldie has proven popular, having drawn more media attention at one time to the university than has ever been done before. The media trend is also reflected in popular opinion. “Captain Cane’s alright, I guess,” said one student, before adding, “Dude looks like Shrek, though. Goldie’s where it’s really at.” Others were less charitable. “Captain Cane blows”, said another student, who then laughed at his own joke for several minutes before continuing, “I mean, what is he even supposed to be? Some

kind of monster that controls the weather?” Goldie declined to comment, instead opting to chase squirrels and roll around in the grass for twenty minutes before falling asleep under a tree, which all present agreed was “just the cutest.” “I hate to say it, but Captain Cane just doesn’t get the crowds going like Goldie does,” said a member of the Campus Cuteness Council who requested to remain anonymous. “Goldie has style. Goldie has class. Goldie has a cute widdle face. What does Captain Cane have, a cape and a mask? Boring.” “So she’s training to be a service dog. Big deal,” said Cane, continuing with only a hint of bitterness: “I help people. I’m useful. Before I came along, who intimidated our rivals? Not a dog, that’s for sure.” Rumors have been circulating that Captain Cane will eventually be completely phased out in favor of Goldie as the official school mascot. These rumors have been denied by school officials. Captain Cane, too, dismissed these rumors. “Nobody is going to respect the University of Tulsa Golden Pooches,” asserted Cane. At press time, University Relations did not have the heart to tell the captain that even a harmless golden retriever is a more intimidating mascot than an engineering student who got struck by lightning and now has powers over a weather condition which cannot occur in a landlocked state.

Steven Buchele Real Estate Insider Riding on the success of the recent Aloft experiment, the University of Tulsa has announced plans this week to purchase every hotel in the Tulsa metro, turning much of the city into “on-campus housing.” Negotiations are still in progress for the acquisition of the entire Tulsa Public Transit System so that these new far-flung reaches of campus will be accessible to students. The current plan involves one giant rectangular route for all shuttles and buses. Unfortunately, this means all students must pass “GO” before getting to their residences. Whatever that means. Associate Vice President of Campus Betterment, Marvin Gardens, is excited about these new developments. “I think TU is going to be collecting some great

properties in the coming years,” said Gardens. Gardens hopes that the first of these new residence halls will be opened by Fall 2014 to help alleviate the strain of next year’s Freshman class, projected to exceed 200,000 students. Gardens is sure that “students will really enjoy the new residence halls; they will find the accommodations well worth the Luxury Tax to cover the location upgrade from North Tulsa to any other part of Tulsa.” Gardens went on to mention that all the new rooms will be named after donors instead of having a standard number scheme. Each “dormtel” will also be color-coded according to relative value. “The buildings not undergoing immediate renovations will be part of a new program called True Blue Rooms,” said Rich Pennybags, Vice President of Money. The proceeds from the True Blue Rooms project will be split between True Blue Neighbors and

the Community Chest. They are hoping to collect more than $200. The TU Administration is looking forward to the immense benefits the new city-wide campus will bring. “Tulsa is truly going to have, ‘One City, One Team,’ ” said Gardens ominously. When reached for comment, Vice President of Student Contentment Robbie Siracha denied that these acquisitions are part of a larger scheme to increase TU’s size. “I guess we just so happened to buy a few extra hotels this turn—I mean term—that’s all. We have to be ready in case more students just decide to come to TU.” Siracha denied rumors that the University has also purchased the Tulsa County Jail, claiming the university officials were “just visiting.” The Parker Brothers could not be reached for comment on TU’s foray into the Landlord’s Game. Literally everyone contributed to this report.

City of brotherly hate Cain’s Ballroom vs. Club Abel: what could possibly go wrong? Morgan Krueger Biblical Scholar This week has spawned big news in the music industry. In defiance of Cain’s Ballroom’s longstanding control of the main street music scene, renowned pacifist Eugene Abel is opening a business of his own. In fact, he is opening it right across the street. Some are calling this act an open challenge against Cain’s Ballroom. This up-and-coming business, called Club Abel, is set to open later in the fall. The building is currently undergoing renovations. Jim Cain, owner of Cain’s Ballroom, spoke on how he is planning to deal with this presumptuous newcomer. “Of course we have to stay competitive. We are planning on

slaying this new competition. Figuratively speaking of course,” Cain added hastily. Abel, however, is harboring much more optimistic ideas about his company’s future relationship with Cain’s Ballroom. He has expressed some apprehension about opening up next to such a well-established and strong business but is sure Jim Cain is a reasonable man and hopes they can “work something out.” “It is my hope that Club Abel and Cain’s Ballroom can come to be ‘brother’ businesses in Tulsa’s entertainment scene,” Abel announced at a recent press meeting. Only time will tell if this is a naïve notion or whether Club Abel stands a fighting chance against their larger counterpart. Cain’s Ballroom reportedly made a killing in profits last year. While Club Abel is planning to tap into that business, analysts are yet unsure to what extent they will be success-

ful. The opening of a rival business may very well be a curse on Cain’s Ballroom. An anonymous source claimed Cain is murderously angry about Club Abel’s opening and plans to hit Club Abel with some tough advertising in an effort to make them disappear quickly and permanently. When asked for details on how Cain’s Ballroom was going to compete with Club Abel, Raiden Cain only said his actions would be “decisive.” A reliable yet anonymous source reported that Cain went to the Mayor with pleas to delay or even prevent Club Abel’s opening. Rumors that Abel got to the mayor first and offered him a lifetime supply of roast mutton (the mayor’s favorite dish) as a bribe have been fervently denied. Perhaps too fervently denied. Abel claims his sudden purchase of a sheep farm was entirely incidental and unrelated.

Photo by Haley Stritzel / Graphic by Anna Bennett

A seemingly healthy sibling rivalry emerges in the Brady District. So far, the management at the Cain’s has not extended an offer of friendship to the newcomer across the street. Nevertheless, Club Abel remains confident they can become Tulsa’s new favorite, and certainly won’t suffer any mysterious damage that may or may not be perpetrated by their rival.

9 September 2013 Issue  

Issue 1, Vol. 99 of the Collegian

9 September 2013 Issue  

Issue 1, Vol. 99 of the Collegian