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Student newspaper of the University of Tulsa

graphic by Madeline Woods

March 12, 2018 Issue 21 - Volume 103

The Collegian: 2


12 March 2018


12 March 2018

Heartbreak for the Hurricane in AAC Tourney The Golden Hurricane finished the regular season strong, but lost in the American conference quarterfinals to a Memphis buzzer beater. Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor

Curran Scott hits a leaner against Temple.

Should student-athletes be paid? One from TU weighs in. Paying student-athletes is akin to legalizing steroid use. To air out the corruption only instigates deeper scandal and exploitation. Much has come into the light recently. The NCAA basketball scandal has invigorated the conscience in every armchair sports-philosopher this side of the asteroid belt. They cry that the moral compass of our society, and its entertainment, have lost their magnetic bearings. They throw out lots of verbs and adjectives that don’t express anything of pragmatic importance. The college sports world has reincarnated “apology” in its classical definition as a “defense.” The scandal, as with everything else, comes down to money. The question that follows the unethical recruiting process is: should universities pay college athletes? Would this have any effect on the ethics of the system if the citizens are already morally bankrupt? Relative to the life of the average individual, all of this discourse echoes in an empty chamber. Why should we, American citizens, have any vested interest in this argument anyways? This could possibly be seen as a microcosm of a dystopian world of competition for scarce resources, those resources being premier high school athletes. The system concerns itself only with the propagation of its material prosperity. It must consume athletes rapidly, violently, authoritatively or risk its livelihood. Citizens of the United States value liberty and equality. A system so aggressively hierarchical as the NCAA, an extreme meritocracy yet a fascist monopoly, is inherently flawed because it retains the failures of opposite systems. This calls for reconsidera-

tion, seeing as this industry happens to be one of the most culturally significant institutions in the last century. It bears the title “nonprofit,” yet it is perhaps one of the most profitable operations in the world. The other criticism of the NCAA is its compromise of higher education. The university system now acts as a symbiote for a massive entertainment conglomerate. The inherent merit of sports is lost when undergirded by a fascination for achievement at all costs. The focus of universities soon becomes to profit from athletics, and slowly, they begin to dismiss academics. Studentathletes are falsely schooled by façade classes and tutors. Athletics does not only imperil

The NCAA’s failures will not change if student-athletes are paid salaries. Thomas von Borstel Student Writer

who knows what until maturity should be of no concern to any entity outside of the familial construct, unless of course there are boatloads of money involved. As a student-athlete, the prospect of a salary for the hefty part time job undertaken is mouthwatering to consider. Yet what would the landscape of college sports look like? Allowing the best athletes to advance on to professionalism would eliminate the threat to the higher education system. The NCAA immediately loses big dollars, because they are in competition with the professional world. So the second-tier athletes, amongst whom only a select few would advance to professionalism, have vast salaries flaunted

“Paying student-athletes would only exacerbate a corrupt system” itself, it imperils the university’s ethics as a whole. It is necessary for this picture to be drawn before discussing the possibilities of student-athletes being paid salaries. The NCAA’s arguments against this proposition have been numerous, some as ludicrous as saying they do not have enough money to pay athletes. Normally, it is to preserve the “amateur status” of student-athletes. For some strange reason, the NCAA sees itself as a moral force which believes in a sort of athlete virginity and clasps on the chastity belt for one to three years before the pure bride can be wed. The moral duty to preserve the innocence of athletes from

photo by Dalton Stewart

at them by universities who have pleaded with boosters to donate more and more money. (No problem though, because they already enact this covertly. In the open air, it would be simply trimming the hedges). Where are the oppressed, the proletariat in this system? The Group of Five universities and walk-ons would be obliterated. The chasm separating the bourgeois Power Five from the proletariat Group of Five would be stricken only wider. Unless an athlete chooses principle over material, more likely than not the best athletes will always engage with the most money. Then the question would be: what are the market restric-

tions? Could the NCAA feasibly attempt a free market system in which money rules all? Would they ever give up that power in the first place? No, of course not, but we must consider these possibilities to find the proper conclusion. The NCAA would surely enforce a cap upon universities for the maximum amount of salaries issued in a given year. This does not matter to the majority of the universities except for the top twenty or so who would have enough money that they could probably double the cap. Inherently, the system is unequal and will continue to be so. It is a game, especially to those at the top of the pyramid who gamble with enough excess cash to make a middleclass citizen sick. Paying student-athletes would only exacerbate a corrupt system. All of the same underhanded dealings would occur, only with more money upfront. Student-athletes should be paid, but for being athletes. Remove the student from the title. The age of the renaissance figure is past. Professionalize younger athletics and separate them from higher education. Enforcing education on unwilling participants defeats even a common sense understanding of epistemology. Increasing the cost of living stipend is an effective solution that would make athlete “wages” similar to work-study. Until academics and athletics are not unified, for the love of all that is good, do not pay student-athletes. Expect the best from people, punish the worst and strive to make the collegiate athletic association an institution of principle and not material.

Embrace an Exciting Career!

prepares students for a career as a paralegal in as little as eight months. TU’s program is approved by the American Bar Association. Questions? Contact Pam Mitchell, manager of legal programs, at 918-631-2524 or the university of Continuing Education Division of Lifelong Learning Paralegals may not provide legal service directly to the public, except as permitted by law. TU is an EEO/AA institution. TU18083

If only things could have carried over that way to the postseason. Facing off against the erstwhile Memphis Tigers, against whom the Golden Hurricane were 1-1 this year, TU needed a win to advance to the American conference semis and earn a chance at the NCAA Tournament. They fought the good fight but succumbed in the end, as the Tigers took the win 67-63 on a ludicrous three-point floater from Kareem Brewton, Jr. with time expiring. It would be tough to call this an upset, as the teams were mostly evenly matched and went back and forth all game. If anything, despite their lower seed, Memphis looked like the slightly better unit. Center Mike Parks, Jr. had his way down low with the undersized trio of Etou, Igbanu and Artison and the forced double-teams left men open on the perimeter that the Tigers were readily able to exploit.

Tulsa instead gave up a deep three-pointer to freshman power forward Kyvon Davenport, who also missed the free throw that would have given him a four-point play and the team a two-point lead. Igbanu then hit one of two foul shots to tie the game, leaving the Tigers’ fate up to Brewton. Taking the ball with fewer than ten seconds left, he dribbled past the light pressure applied by Taplin in the backcourt, made it past halfcourt and lofted a running three-point floater from the left wing as the buzzer sounded. Ballgame. Tulsa finished the game shooting just 2-16 from three and an abysmal 55 percent from the free throw line. Led by Etou’s 12, they managed to out-rebound Memphis both on the offensive boards and overall but tallied just six assists. Henderson, Taplin and Etou scored in double figures, with 20, 14 and 13 respectively.

“The tragic end shouldn’t put a damper on what has been a fantastic season for TU.”

Additional Thoughts Obviously, it’s little consolation after the fact, but Golden Hurricane fans should try to take solace in the fact that Brewton’s final shot was absolutely absurd, about the lowest percentage look that he could have possibly taken in that situation. He had plenty of time left to pull up for, you know, an actual jump shot, and he opted for a runner from 25 feet? Who does that?! Regardless, the tragic end shouldn’t put a damper on what has been a fantastic season for TU. Few media outlets had us finishing in the top half of the American Conference (the “Collegian” was an exception, but that is neither here nor there), and after a rough start, our boys proved that they could compete with the best the conference has to offer. And that’s saying something, because every year the American looks more like a power conference. I’m looking forward to a strong showing from the AAC in the NCAA Tournament. Wichita St. is overrated and has been all year, but I believe Cincinnati and Houston are legitimate threats to make the Elite Eight. Finally, let’s hope that Elijah Joiner is okay. He went down with what appeared to be a knee injury early in the first half and didn’t reenter the game. Joiner’s reappearance on the bench was a positive sign, but knee injuries can be tricky, and the freshman still has such a bright future ahead of him.

They were exceedingly patient and took possessions deep into the shot clock, refusing to force looks and moving the ball until seams opened up in TU’s matchup zone. Even so, TU had its chances to go up big in the first, as they took eight more shots and five more free throws. It was only from their bricky shooting, 8-27 overall and 0-9 from three, that the Golden Hurricane entered the half trailing 26-25. Slowly but surely, Memphis pushed their lead, extending it to as many as nine point in the second half, but Tulsa always found a way to answer, whether from a Taplin drive to the paint or a difficult secondchance score from Etou. They would not hit their first triple until the eight-minute mark, but when Henderson finally nailed it, a spot-up look from the top of the arc, he brought the team to within one. Three minutes later, the sharpshooter drained another from the corner to give the Golden Hurricane its first lead of the second half. Parks put Memphis back in front when he nailed an easy hook over Etou, but after exchanging free throws, TU quickly regained the lead on a Henderson midrange jumper. Just needing one stop to take commanding position in the game,

Hurricane Scoreboard

Men’s Basketball Mar. 4: Tulsa 76 - Temple 58

Women’s Tennis Mar. 9: Kansas 6 - Tulsa 1

Women’s Basketball Mar. 4: Cincinnati 66 - Tulsa 65 Mar. 9: Memphis 67 - Tulsa 64

Softball Mar. 8: Drake 7 - Tulsa 2 Mar. 9: Tulsa 11 - Green Bay 2 Mar. 9: Tulsa 12 - UMKC 1 Mar. 10: Nebraska 3 - Tulsa 2

Men’s Tennis Mar. 9: Oklahoma State 4 - Tulsa 0

Softball vs. Northern Iowa 9 a.m.

The University of Tulsa

Certificate in Paralegal Studies

With the fourth seed and a first-round bye already secured for the conference tournament, the University of Tulsa men’s basketball game didn’t need to win on Sunday against Temple. But on the last home game of Junior Etou, Corey Henderson and Jaleel Wheeler’s careers, the Golden Hurricane opened up the floodgates for a dominant, wire-to-wire victory over the Temple Owls. Henderson led the way on Senior Night with 21 points, knocking down five three pointers in the process. Martins Igbanu helped make up for a slow day from Etou in the frontcourt, scoring 16 points on 4-5 shooting from the floor and 8-9 from the line. Bolstered by his superb play over the last few games, as well as Sterling Taplin playing limited minutes in his first game back from an ankle injury, Curran Scott played 22 minutes off the bench. He recorded his highest scoring outing of conference play, netting 14 points on 6-9 shooting, as well as a team-high seven rebounds. The Golden Hurricane could not have started the game off on a more dominant run. Bolstered by a vibrant crowd, Tulsa took advantage of their ice-cold opponents and forced a Temple timeout after a Henderson three-pointer game them a 9-0 lead. Unfortunately for the Owls, it was not enough to get them back on track, as Henderson canned buckets his next three times down the floor, including two threes. His personal 11-0 run completed, Geno Artison, Taplin and Elijah Joiner then got in on the fun by taking the ball inside. When Wheeler, who received the start in place of Lawson Korita, hit a free throw with ten minutes remaining in the half, the scoreboard showed 24-0. A jumper from Owls guard Guinton Rose on the ensuing possession finally quelled the delirious crowd a bit, but the damage was done. Temple’s small run to close out the half made little difference, and TU went into the break up 33-18. Things looked a little tighter in the second, as Rose scored three quick baskets to cut the lead to single-digits. Unfazed, Tulsa ran its motion offense flawlessly, quick passes and sharp cuts keeping Temple’s versatile defenders on their toes. The lead would hover around 10 until the closing minutes, but the Owls could never quite TU’s zone and get closer. After another late flurry, the buzzer sounded on a 76-58 victory and a happy end to a terrific regular season.


March 28th @ Noon

Where? Lorton 207 What?

Join Psi Chi and The Collegian


Tuesday 12

Wednesday 13


be moderated by The Collegian and include several representatives from TU’s own campus as well as from the Tulsa community. There will also be free Hideaway Pizza!

Women’s Golf vs. BYU

Softball vs. Missouri State 5 p.m.

Women’s Golf vs. BYU


bleacher creature?

Spread the Love It can be easy to forget that professional athletes are actual human beings. They are largerthan-life figures (literally) who perform such incredible feats with their bodies that we tend to mythologize them. To many observers, they might as well be characters in a play acting out their lives in an alternate reality, or collections of statistics on a fantasy sports spreadsheet. But that sort of separation is an illusion. Just because these people get paid millions of dollars to pursue careers that most of us can only dream of, it doesn’t mean they experience emotions that are any less valid than those of you average Joes. Last week, NBA players including Kevin Love, DeMar DeRozan and Kelly Oubre came forward to discuss their struggles with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. They opened up about the toxic masculinity that infects sports culture, discouraging men from speaking out about their emotional distress and ultimately leading to a more dire situation further down the line. In a moment like this, it’s important to remember that mental health conditions really can affect everybody, regardless of how welloff their lives seem at a distance. Next time you feel like ripping an athlete apart for not being able to perform in the clutch, or seeming disengaged in a huddle, take a step back and consider that there might be more going on behind the scenes than you are aware. Hopefully, this will also serve as a reminder and a positive message to anybody currently struggling with their own mental health. You are not alone. You are not unusual. And most importantly, you are not weak for feeling this way. Magnum Dongs I’d like to be clear that nearly every other time I use the phrase “magnum dongs” in this space, it will be in reference to Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton home runs. This is merely the exception that proves the rule. With nearly the entire core of their memorable 2015 World Series-winning team now calling another city home, perhaps the Kansas City Royals thought they needed to do something controversial to make a splash in the national media. Maybe team executives have been watching reruns of the 700 Club. Or maybe somebody on the roster forgot to knock on their teenage son’s door before barging in. The world may never know! But for some mysterious reason, the Blue Crew decided to partner with an anti-porn group called “Fight the New Drug” in Spring Training. As part of this agreement, members of the Royals organization from the major league roster, the front office and all the way down to the minor leagues were required to attend a seminar on the harmful impact of porn. What are we supposed to make of this? GM Dayton Moore has expressed concerns about pornography addiction in the past, and a large part of the seminar supposedly dealt with porn addiction, which I suppose is a noble cause. But the setting for that message just seems bizarrely out of place, and maybe just a wee bit intrusive into the personal decisions of the people involved. If nothing else, I’m definitely going to be a little more skeptical the next time I hear Jon Kruk reporting a Royals player using the clubhouse bathroom during Sunday Night Baseball. A true student-athlete Congratulations to Adam Roderique, who was named the American Conference’s Male Scholar-Athlete of the Year for cross country. On top of his demanding training schedule and athletic success, Roderique managed a 3.906 GPA with the brutal double major of mechanical engineering and finance, which means he’s probably much smarter than you or me. Well done to you, Adam, and make sure not to forget the little people here at TU when you’re killing it on Wall Street one day!



Friday 15

16 Softball vs. Omaha 9:30 a.m.

Softball vs. Illinois State 5 p.m.

Justin Guglielmetti is…

Mar. 12 - Mar. 18

for a panel on sexual assault: reporting and resources. It will

The Collegian: 3

No Events

Softball vs. Iowa State 12 p.m. Track and Field Tulsa Duels Men’s Tennis vs. TBA

Softball vs. Iowa State 9:30 a.m.


Women’s Tennis vs. Witchita St. 2 p.m. Softball vs. Saint Francais 2:30 p.m. Men’s Tennis vs TBA Rowing Louisville Cardinal Invitational



Men’s Tennis vs. TBA Rowing Louisville Cardinal Invitational

The Collegian: 4


12 March 2018

TU administration hosted panel on free speech Panelists, which included both professors and students, discussed the relationship of free speech to private universities. Alex Garoffolo Student Writer “How can we ensure that TU maintains its dedication to free inquiry while also stimulating an inclusive environment where all students feel welcome?” Questions like this were among those discussed by the six panelists at Thursday’s free speech event. President Clancy and a colleague from Texas A&M moderated the affair. The panelists were Matt Hindman, a political science professor; Holly Laird, an English professor; Tamara Piety, a professor of law; Garrett Chase, member of the TU Young Republicans; Jim Scholl, a doctoral candidate in psychology; and Kyla Sloan, a master’s student in speech pathology. 103 people attended the event. The TU Department of Women’s & Gender Studies and Tulsa Public Radio sponsored the panel discussion, which lasted about 90 minutes. Piety said, of the first amendment, “it’s actually what we call a negative liberty because it prevents the government from doing something. It’s essentially a check on government power.” However, she continued, “it does not extend, in full, to private universities.” Private universities have the right to regulate the campus environment much more so than public ones. Piety also said that many “right to work” states don’t provide first amendment protections in the workplace due to employment contracts. Thus, we deal with losses in freedom of speech in places we don’t always think about. Laird added that “most people with the privilege of an education want to uphold first amendment rights.” Piety reminded the audience of the first amendment’s constrained breadth. “People think that someone or something barring

The Collegian: 5

How TU picked you: A look at the student recruitment process

The multilateral selection process can appear quite intimidating. TU’s Dean of Admissions Casey Reed explains how the office of admissions encourages applications and decides who to accept. Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief

courtesy University of Tulsa

‘offensive’ language is in violation of the first amendment. Yet, there has never been a time when the amendment was supposed to be 100 percent against the regulation of any type of speech.” Her point is that many Americans might believe that the first amendment bars the regulation of speech. In fact, as mentioned earlier, it prevents the government from making laws that infringe on free speech. Universities, especially private ones, can legally attempt to regulate rhetoric on their campuses. Sloan articulated it a different way. “Free speech has consequences and we all must be held accountable for what we choose to say.” One can use hate speech (speech that attempts to dehumanize others), but one will be liable for the consequences. Chase said that yes, colleges do have the right to regulate speech if needed, but “they must refer back to a set of principles or standards each time a decision of that order is made.”

Hindman suggested that TU should fall back on its mission statement when it reviews speakers to bring to campus. If a speaker’s tones or objectives don’t line up with the TU mission, that person adds little to the academic atmosphere. One issue on TU’s campus is lack of participation in educational events, according to Sloan. “You can’t go to a gay pride event, grab some food and a shirt then bounce and expect to have gained anything new. In order to sustain free inquiry, you need to get out of your comfort zone and ask these groups questions to educate yourself.” Sloan cited the fact that she’s personally attended Young Republicans meetings and asked members what the club’s stance is on certain issues and policies. “The Association of Black Collegians held an event last week on the Black Lives Matter movement and nobody from Young Republicans came.” Hindman followed up that free inquiry is also not the same thing as free speech. “TU

would not tolerate a geology professor who espouses the merits of flat earth theory in his class, even though it is protected under free speech.” Ideas of academic merit are what makes free inquiry thrive. He concluded that “students should not be shielded, but ideas that are purposefully inflammatory do not add anything of academic merit to the collegiate atmosphere.” Hindman and several other panelists cited the antics of Milo Yiannopoulos, racist ideals of Richard Spencer and purposefully inflammatory remarks of Ann Coulter as examples. Clancy concluded the event, articulating his “big 3” for TU. “Academic research ferrets out the bad ideas. We want our students to get out of their comfort zones to challenge their standard ways of thinking. And of course, we want to provide the best learning environment possible to all students.”

The growing threat of shooters, and administrations’ response Schools review safety policies as a string of copycat shooting threats sweeps Green Country. Hannah Kloppenburg Web Manager In the wake of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, a string of online shooting threats has affected multiple Green Country schools, including Tulsa Public Schools. As of February 23, threats had been made on social media platforms against nine Green Country schools, according to a NewsOn6 report. Many schools went on full or modified lockdowns as a result. A 14-year-old Tulsa junior high school student faces a felony charge after making a threat on social media. Several Snapchat posts, including one with a gun emoji and the words “Coming hardcore tomorrow Webster High School and Rogers,” caused lockdowns and a police presence at Webster Junior High. Tulsa Public Schools investigated a threat made Thursday night against the Central High basketball team and, as a precaution, had a security guard travel with the team to an out-of-town game. A threat against East Central High School resulted in the February 27 arrest of a 17-year-old and his relative. The threat, made on Facebook, included the phrase “Yall that claim to be shooters better pull through 100%.” Officers recovered several guns from the teen’s home. Other Tulsa area and Green Country schools have also been affected by threats of violence. The Bixby Police Department received a tip consisting of an Instagram post threatening, “Union, then on to Bixby.” While police don’t believe this was a credible threat, both Union Public Schools and Bixby Public Schools were placed on lockdown for a day. Berryhill Public Schools in Tulsa County was investigated due to a Snapchat video that said someone was going to shoot up the high school. Several threats were also alleged against Owasso high schools, all of which were thoroughly investigated. Alice Robertson Junior High in Muskogee was placed on lockdown due to social media threats. Two students had previously been arrested at the school for bringing a


12 March 2018

Beyond a doubt, TU is a small school. Graduating high school students see only 3,000 undergrads at the university and wonder if they’ll even get in. Dean of Admissions Casey Reed hopes to waylay those fears. Reed oversees domestic undergrad recruitment and admissions and spends her time reassuring parents that a TU education is money well spent. TU’s recruitment process is much like that of any other school. The admissions department receives a list of student names from ACT, SAT and a number of other sources. They then reach out to gauge interest in receiving more information. “We increase outreach to them through mail, email and occasionally phone,” Reed said. “From that pool we will have a certain number of students apply.” Applications tend to correlate with the school from which a student comes. Admissions professionals refer to high schools which consistently send significant numbers of their students to a particular college as feeder schools. “At the University of Tulsa, where enrollment is small, a feeder school might be a school where we receive 10 or more applications,” Reed said. “In the Tulsa area, it might be a school where we receive 40 or 50 applications. But out of state it could be a school where we receive a handful of applicants every year.” For TU, feeder schools include Booker T. Washington, Broken Arrow, Union and other immediately surrounding public and private schools as well as several schools in St. Louis, Missouri, and other nearby states. “We also try to spread the word constantly about TU to other schools who are not currently on that list,” Reed said. “The University of Tulsa struggles to spread brand awareness,” Reed said, so it’s easier to convince students to apply if they are from a feeder school where they might know students from previous years who currently attend TU. “It’s not as though we prefer students from a feeder school to students who are not from a feeder school. It’s just easier to cultivate students who are at a feeder school because there is already a bit of brand awareness,” she said. Fighting TU’s struggle for brand awareness requires Reed and her fellow counselors to jump several hurdles. The first hurdle — TU is a small school in a moderately sized city in an alleged flyover state. “There are a lot of students who aren’t even familiar with Tulsa as a city within the state of Oklahoma,” Reed said.

graphic by Conner Maggio

Feeder schools funnel students into TU.

Locally Reed says TU faces a public perception as academically rigorous and incredibly expensive. “Students might mistakenly believe that they can’t be admitted or that they can’t afford TU,” she said. “I think what we struggle to convince families of at the beginning is that TU can be affordable, you don’t have to have a very high ACT score to be admitted,” Reed said. The ultimate goal is “to convince families that the value of a TU education is so much more than they can get at a local public school.” For those who do apply, admissions counselors then evaluate applications, make admissions decisions, coordinate financial aid and help students through the scholarship process in an effort to yield as many new students as possible. “We are basically looking to see which students we think will be successful at the University of Tulsa,” Reed said. “If we think that they will be academically successful, if they think that they reflect the mission and the values and the commitment of the university, then they generally are admitted.” Test score and GPA are just two parts of the process. “We look very closely at a student’s weighted GPA. We look to see how they challenged themselves in high school. We look to see how they compared to other students at their high school,” Reed said. In addition, “We look for trends in their grades, so if they had a few difficult semester but were able to overcome, or if they struggled in certain subjects but they’ve been able to improve their performance over the years, then that can impact a students admission decision.” In sum, “You don’t have to be a presidential scholar to be admitted to TU,” she said. If you make the cut at admissions, the likelihood of receiving financial assistance is high. “We offered over $21 million in scholar-

ships to the freshman class of 2018,” Reed said. To further sell the university to perspective families, Reed said she emphasizes the quality of the faculty and their dedication to students, which goes beyond small class sizes. “TU is a collaborative environment and not a competitive one, so you really can get a top-notch private education in an environment that supports you and encourages you as opposed to creating a competitive environment that kind of tries to narrow your focus,” Reed said. Another struggle of the admissions office is that it currently functions within a constrained budget. “We can really only spread the word about TU to students who are already in our system. If that word were going to be spread to the Tulsa Community at large or the surrounding states at large, it would probably require and investment of marketing resources outside of what we can do,” Reed said. Each of these issues was hurdle crossed for you, dear readerreader, to become a student at TU. escaped slaves established a home. The tension between slaves and their Indian masters interests Oertel because she believes slaves “resistance was one of the causes of the civil war.” Further, she said the problems discussed in Indian territory reflected the rest of the country. Over the summer, Oertel will be writing a chapter of a book for the Oxford University Press, detailing Bloody Kansas; because of her first book, many regard her as the expert on the topic. Oertel grew up in Kansas City, in a house that was, in the 19th century on the territory of the Shawnee Indian Reservation. “I found an arrowhead in our garden when digging when I was eight years old,” she recounted, “I was always interested in what was in my backyard.” But when she went to New York for her graduate educa-

tion, she thought her focus would be abolitionist women in upstate New York. Instead, she realized no one had written about how women, African-Americans and Indians had influenced Bleeding Kansas, and wrote both her Masters’ thesis and doctoral dissertation on the topic. Her book was one of the first to look at how these different people got involved. Previously, most of the focus had been on white male politicians and settlers, but “historians can’t get away with just writing about white men, most of the time. Minority voices, women’s voices are being brought to the table on a regular basis.” “At one point, I went to the archives and would look at letters I knew other historians had looked at before, but they ignored that Indians were mentioned. They were in a region that had just literally become open to white settlement, so why ignore them?” she asked. Military historians have dominated Civil War history, leading to an increased focus on black and white men, and not accounting for other experiences. Her second book, on Nichols, has potentially been the most influential. She co-wrote the book with another historian, Marilyn S. Blackwell, which was a unique experience Oertel would be willing to do again. Nichols was the reason women in Kansas were able to vote in school board elections, making the state at the time a place with one of the broadest suffrage rights in the nation. “Partly because of my book but also others, I know that when high school history classes talk about Kansas, they talk about her,” she said, “and I didn’t know who she was at that age.” She described this influence as rewarding. All three of Oertel’s book can be found at the TU library, and her “Hamilton” class will most likely be offered in the spring of 2020.

Spirit squad break-in Alex Garoffolo Student Writer courtesy University of Tulsa Gerard Clancy, in a recent video meant for students and faculty, advised that students hide in the event of a shooting and fight back if necessary.

handgun on campus. Coweta Police arrested two students of Donald P. Sloat Junior High who did not possess weapons but admitted to making threats. An arrest was also made in a threat against Dove Science Academy. The suspect, a 15-year-old student, admitted to threatening a violent act as a joke. In light of shooting threats in Tulsa and across the country, members of school administration are reviewing school policy for online threats and active shooter situations. Dove Science Academy Superintendent Umit Alpaslan noted, “In light of last week’s school shooting in Florida, copycat threats are not uncommon. However, we must treat each threat with vigilance.” Tulsa Public Schools superintendent Deborah Gist told NewsOn6 that “very strong emergency plans” in case of a shooter are being reviewed. Gist has included the mayor and police chief in these discussions. “We need to look into ‘How do we make sure that people can know where to report [warning signs]’ and what do we do in order to respond,” she said. While 36 armed police officers and security guards are currently assigned to protect Tulsa Public Schools, this number could be reduced by budget cuts, estimated in the range of $12 million. Local mother Mary LeClair commented last March about budget cuts affecting security, saying, “It really scares me, especially

with all these school shootings.” Concerns were also raised when the parent of a Thoreau Middle School student in Tulsa reported a threat a child made to the school last November. She told FOX23 that Tulsa Public Schools didn’t respond. The district claims to have never received her initial report and has since reached out to her. In a February 26 statement, Tulsa Public Schools said, “We take these kinds of incidents seriously and respond urgently. It is important that our students, families and larger community understand that regardless of whether a post was intended as a joke or to express anger or frustration, the consequences can include arrest and criminal charges.” At TU The question of how to respond to threats and active shooter situations has also been on the minds of those in higher education. In a video message sent to TU affiliates on March 2, Clancy noted TU’s prevention efforts including a new residential housing staffing structure, increased mental health outreach and the addition of staff to both the Counseling Center and the Center for Student Academic Support. Mental health outreach, Clancy said, “is a key risk indicator that we follow up on at all of our University of Tulsa board meetings.”

Clancy said that Campus Security officers work very closely with the Tulsa Police Department to train for active shooter situations. TU campus security staff are authorized to train others in ALICE, an active shooting training program. The first installation of the ALICE program will take place at Fisher South Hall on March 14 at 6:00 p.m. and is open to the TU community. TU works closely with the Tulsa Police Department, the FBI and the U.S. Marshall’s office to monitor for threats not unlike the social media threats made against Tulsa area high schools. The school is also part of a National Alert Network and TU staff have High Level Security Alert Status, which, Clancy explained, “is part of working with these agencies.” Clancy concluded the video by explaining the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s current active shooter recommendations: run, hide and fight, in that order. “In the past, it used to be shelter in place. But now, it’s more active on our part,” Clancy said. In the event of an active shooter, TU affiliates would receive an Emergency Communication System Alert via email, text and TU social media accounts, at which point they should follow the run/hide/fight procedure.

TU Security is still investigating the theft of equipment from the Mabee Gym in February. The suspect(s) broke into the facility where the TU Spirit Squad practices. Between February 11 and February 13, the suspect got into the closet where the squad and dance department store equipment and uniforms, according to Amanda Snider, the Director of the Spirit Squad. “I have been involved with TU Spirit since 2007 and this has never happened before,” Snider said.

Items stolen include team-issued practice gear, shoes, uniforms, rain jackets, sweats, warm-ups, bags and backpacks. Officials are still trying to pinpoint a total dollar amount for the larceny. “We are not quite sure how the thieves got into the actual spirit room,” Snider said. “They had to have broken in to three different locked areas: two outside doors and an inside locked cage door.” Zac Livingston, patrol captain for campus security, said in an email that the evidence they’ve found “produced a few leads we are still following up on.” According to Livingston, the case is still under investigation. editor-in-chief

Kayleigh Thesenvitz managing editor

Michaela Flonard news editor

Trenton Gibbons sports editor

Justin Guglielmetti variety editor

Ethan Veenker commentary editor

Raven Fawcett satire editor

Adam Lux photo & graphics editor

Madeline Woods

In the February 26 issue of the Collegian we ran a commentary article titled “It’s Tulsa Time for Changes” that was intended to express the writers’ opinions about Tulsa Time. The author mistook Tulsa Time, which she had not attended, for Preview TU, which she had. The article should be understood as a criticism of Preview TU, not Tulsa Time.

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Hannah Kloppenburg distribution managers

Amber Bunnag-Stoner Katelyn Baker and Nathan Gibbons copy editor

Bryant Loney


The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations. Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday proir to publication. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

The Collegian: 6


12 March 2018

Tulsa Tough Women panel provided forum to discuss women’s issues

From left to right, Jessica LaPlant, Megan Lowry, Rizka Aprilia, Dr. Jan Wilson, Molly Johnston and Greyson Chance.

The panel featured three students and a faculty member who shared their thoughts on women’s rights and their unique experiences as women from different walks of life. Hannah Kloppenburg Web Manager In honor of International Women’s Day, SA held a panel last Friday to discuss feminism and women’s issues. About 60 people filled the Choteau Room in ACSU to eat Albert G’s BBQ and hear a panel of four women share their thoughts and experiences. The panelists included Jessica LaPlant, a member of Chi Omega and undergraduate student of psychology and women’s and gender studies; Megan Lowry, a member of the TU Student Veteran Association and undergraduate sociology major; Rizka Aprilia, member of the Association of International Students and undergraduate mechanical engineering major; and Dr. Jan Wilson, Wellspring Associate Professor of History specializing in women’s and gender studies. The discussion was moderated by Ally Johnston. Panelists were first asked what it means to be a feminist. Answers ranged from having no shame in existing as a woman to working actively to end sexist oppression. The second question focused on the stigma surrounding feminism. Dr. Wilson explained that while many people agree with feminist stances, they’re often wary about adopting the label for a number of reasons. One is the misconception that feminism attempts to empower women at the expense of men. “In fact, it’s about trying to radically change our institution, our culture, and our ideologies so that everybody has equal opportunity and choice,” Dr. Wilson explained. Another reason is that people, especially young women, are hesitant take a risk by adopting a label and subsequently be judged by it. Panelists were then asked what they think the largest obstacles for today’s women are. Lowry said that she found ideologies that perpetuate stigma to be the biggest obstacle.

LaPlant said that it’s difficult for women to be comfortable claiming their own experiences, their own bodies and the label “feminist.” Aprilia spoke to her experience as a muslim and an Indonesian student, saying that while Indonesia is a very progressive nation there’s still progress to be made in terms of women’s rights. “In Indonesia, at least, a lot of women don’t go to work and a lot of women don’t go to higher education,” she said. The panelists were asked their thoughts on the #MeToo movement. All of them agreed that the movement was absolutely necessary and that claims that the movement has gone too far are unsubstantiated. LaPlant said that it was good to see the conversation out in the open. Lowry agreed, citing a 2010 Pentagon study which found that ⅕ people who serve in the military will be sexually harassed or assaulted during their time of service. That number increases to ⅓ in the Marine Corps, where Lowry herself served and was sexually assaulted during her period of service. Dr. Wilson added that compared to decades of assaults, the idea that four months (the approximate length of the #MeToo movement) is too long to spend talking about harassment and assault is ridiculous. “We haven’t even started, in my opinion. We have so much more speaking to do,” she said. Lowry added that “the hard points are what’s difficult to talk about, and what makes people uncomfortable, and we need to do more of that...that’s what’s going to propel everything into more change.” All of the panelists agreed that feminism has changed over the past year, citing the success of the Women’s March and similar demonstrations. “I think in the last year we’ve seen a huge uprising of women who are standing up for themselves and saying, ‘this is not what I want for my female experience,’” LaPlant said. Aprilia said that she was moved by the success of the women’s march in Indonesia. When asked if institutions of higher education in general and TU in particular had done enough to strive towards gender equality and diversity, Dr. Wilson’s answer was an immediate “No.” She cited numerous examples of gender

and race imbalance in higher education, including the fact that less than ⅓ of tenured positions are held by women and less than ¼ by people of color. She also said that fewer than 30% of administrative positions are held by women and that men are disproportionately employed at research-focused institutions (which offer the highest-paying jobs). These disproportionate numbers, according to Dr. Wilson, are due to a number of factors including socialized behavior (women, for example, are less likely to feel as though they can ask for raises or promotions), lack of mobility, difficulty balancing family and work obligations, harassment, hiring discrimination and difficulties with

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief One young man’s initiative, and your support, could save many of TU’s poorest students from food insecurity. Conner Bender, the secretary of SA, has been working with Sodexo to pilot a food swipe donation program. The program began March 5, allowing students to donate up to five meals from their guest swipes to a repository that will support food insecure students. Bender noticed other schools had “Swipe Out Hunger” chapters, a non-profit that works with universities to help them create swipe donation programs. He contacted the non-profit and then sent out a survey to students to determine the interest level. “It looked like people would [donate swipes] because a lot of them don’t use swipes,” he reported. After he completed the survey, he contacted Sodexo, who runs TU’s dining ser-

vices, and told them there was an interest in a donation program. “With the dynamic with Sodexo,” Benner said, “I didn’t feel like I needed ‘Swipe Out Hunger’.” Mike Neal, the director of Dining Services, was in contact with housing and financial aid to get the program on its feet. The program took several months to get approved. At first, Bender wanted students to be able to donate multiple swipes per week, if they wanted to. In the end, Sodexo decided to give students the option to donate their guest swipes from one to five. Once this repository of guest swipes are created, financial aid will work with the students and look at their FAFSA to determine if they need extra swipes. Bender said the program first interested him after learning about food swamps and food deserts in his Global Scholars class. Food swamps are areas where unhealthy, highly processed, nutrient-poor food proliferates in combination with heavy advertising for this unhealthy food, while food deserts are areas where healthy foods are difficult to find. North Tulsa is one of those places. “President Clancy told me about 25 percent of students could be deemed food insecure,” he added. Bender hopes students donate as many swipes as they can.


the tenure process. The panel closed with each panelist talking about what empowers them. LaPlant said that talking to other empowered women was empowering for her. Lowry said that doing traditionally masculine activities, like shooting or martial arts, was empowering for her. Aprilia said that being successful in her male-dominated major was empowering for her. Dr. Wilson said that her students and her daughter make her feel empowered. “What she takes for granted, in the most beautiful ways, that I was never able to take for granted,” is inspiring, Dr. Wilson concluded.

The Collegian: 7

Prof. Oertel’s unique perspective on history

photo by Kyla Sloan courtesy University of Tulsa

Oertel examines the Civil War from the eyes of oft-excluded voices. Michaela Flonard Managing Editor Part of a series looking at TU professors and their interests and research. If you’re looking to learn more about the Civil War, especially from the lens of women, African-Americans or the poor, Dr. Kristen Oertel is the place to go at TU. Oertel, who is the chairperson of TU’s history department, has written three books: one on Bleeding Kansas, one on the activist Clarina Nichols and one on Harriet Tubman. Currently, Oertel is focusing on teaching. After 18 years of working on projects

and getting tenure, she felt “it was time to take a deep breath and think about teaching for a while.” As a result of this focus, Oertel is teaching a new class this semester, “Roots of Hamilton: Relics of Resistance in the Atlantic World.’” Oertel co-teaches the class with Dr. Alicia Odewale, a recent TU Ph.D. graduate and assistant professor of archeology. The two began working on the class last spring, meeting weekly to ensure there’d be a balance of archeology and history, while being approachable to those with varied backgrounds. She and Odewale also planned the class trip to St. Croix after the end of the semester. Odewale travels to the island every summer; she did her graduate work on an archeological dig on the island. Oertel was on Odewale’s dissertation committee, as Odewale needed someone with a history background to support her interest in historical archeology. The two women real-

ized they wanted to co-teach after Odewale became a professor. The “Hamilton” reference is intentional, Oertel said. In the spring of 2016, Oertel taught a class on the American Revolution. As a part of the class, she asked students who was their favorite founding father. “Prior to 2016, no one had ever said Hamilton, and then half the people said Alexander Hamilton.” She learned of the hit musical and will bookend her current class by discussing Hamilton’s life, although the middle of the course is concerned with the black experience. Working with an archeologist has been rewarding, giving Oertel a new perspective. Historians are beginning to realize archeology can be a helpful way to understand the lives of those who were illiterate, which for much of modern history, included the poor, black people and women. Even those who were literate but not well-off may not have left many written traces of their experiences. Oertel has not totally stopped her research. She just recently published an article about slavery in the Indian territories and the “fugitive slave problem.” Black slaves could be owned by Native Americans, and Oertel said she’s “interested in investigating that tension and reconstructing the Underground Railroad in Indian territory.” The Underground Railroad stretched to Mexico, where escaped slaves established a home. The tension between the enslaved and their Native American masters interests Oertel because she believes the enslaved’s “resistance was one of the causes of the Civil War.” Further, she said the problems discussed in Indian territory reflected the rest of the country. Over the summer, Oertel will be writing a chapter of a book for the Oxford University Press, detailing Bloody Kansas; because of her first book, many regard her as the expert on the topic. Oertel grew up in Kansas City, in a house that was, in the 19th century, on the territory of the Shawnee Indian Reservation. “I found an arrowhead in our garden when digging when I was eight years old,”

she recounted, “I was always interested in what was in my backyard.” But when she went to New York for her graduate education, she thought her focus would be abolitionist women in upstate New York. Instead, she realized no one had written about how women, African-Americans and Native Americans had influenced Bleeding Kansas, and wrote both her Masters’ thesis and doctoral dissertation on the topic. Her book was one of the first to look at how these different people got involved. Previously, most of the focus had been on white male politicians and settlers, but “historians can’t get away with just writing about white men, most of the time. Minority voices, women’s voices are being brought to the table on a regular basis,” she said.“At one point, I went to the archives and would look at letters I knew other historians had looked at before, but they ignored that Indians were mentioned. They were in a region that had just literally become open to white settlement, so why ignore them?” she asked. Military historians have dominated Civil War history, leading to an increased focus on black and white men, and not accounting for other experiences. Her second book, on Nichols, has potentially been the most influential. She co-wrote the book with another historian, Marilyn S. Blackwell, which was a unique experience Oertel would be willing to do again. Nichols was the reason women in Kansas were able to vote in school board elections, making the state at the time a place with one of the broadest suffrage rights in the nation. “Partly because of my book but also others, I know that when high school history classes talk about Kansas, they talk about her,” she said, “and I didn’t know who she was at that age.” She described this influence as rewarding. All three of Oertel’s book can be found at the TU library, and her “Hamilton” class will most likely be offered once more in the spring of 2020.

Cybersecurity in the digital age of insecurity Dr. Susan Landau, a visiting professor from Tufts University, discussed the conflict in the digital age between privacy and security.

Brian Kwiecinski Business Manager

photo by Kyla Sloan Madison Connell, who attended the panel, makes a statement about the necessity of feminism.

Meal sharing implemented TPS superintendent plans possible teacher walkout The new program could help more than 20 percent of TU’s student population.

12 March 2018

All across the country, public school teachers are performing walkouts in demand for higher pay. Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief Tulsa Public Schools Superintendent Deborah Gist announced Sunday morning that the school district will join other districts across Oklahoma in a possible teacher walkout. “If our state legislature does not pass a plan to increase teacher pay and funding to public education by April 1, we will support our educators in their walk-out by shutting down the district,” Gist said in a Facebook post. “This means that effective Monday, April 2, every school in our district would

be closed indefinitely until Oklahoma state leaders create a permanent sustainable plan to pay educators the professional salaries they deserve.” Gist wrote that the TPS will work with community advocates and partner agencies to support families by providing child care, meals and other services while the district shuts down. Alicia Priest, president of the Oklahoma Education Association, announced Thursday at the state Capitol that teachers will walk out of their classrooms if lawmakers don’t approve a $6,000 raise by April 1. If the organization’s demands are not met, educators are planning on a statewide work stoppage on April 2. “After years of doing more with less ... Oklahoma educators have reached a breaking point,” Priest said Thursday to the Associated Press. “We will not allow our students to go without any longer.”

The age of information is in full swing, and data is the new and readily available currency. However, not everyone is happy about how easy information is to access, even if it could lead to the arrest of potential terrorists and other malicious agents. This ongoing war between privacy and security was the centerfold of Dr. Susan Landau’s presentation “Listening In: Cybersecurity in an Insecure Age” last Thursday. As a part of TU’s Graves Cybersecurity Distinguished Lecture Series, Landau discussed the varied intricacies of privacy in modern times. She began with a recent court case after the San Bernardino terrorist attack. Essentially, the court case revolved around the FBI demanding Apple to release software to open a terrorist’s iPhone, with Apple refusing out of fear that the software would be abused or leaked. In the end, the case was dropped. Not because the FBI gave up, but because they found another company to hack the phone for them. The contents of the phone revealed absolutely nothing relevant to the case. Following this anecdote, Landau then discussed some different examples of encryption that have been used over the years. Then she shared how easily even seemingly complex encryptions can be cracked just by looking at patterns within the code. Some encryptions are as hardy as they seem, but code-cracking is quickly rising to meet these challenges. Later in the lecture, Landau talked about first cases of wiretapping landlines in the United States and how the government quickly began using this technology inappropriately. Instead of supplementing current investigations with wiretaps, federal agencies would use wiretaps to invade the lives of people they may only have had a passing suspicion of. The judicial branch soon began to crack down on the government for excessively invading people’s

privacy by requiring warrants and limiting when agents could listen in. Yet it did not stop there. Federal agencies would arrest people suspected to be terrorists or spies and claim their suspicions were raised by an anonymous tip. Often, the prosecution would fail to provide any actual legal evidence and were forced to admit there had been no tip; they had used wiretaps without a warrant. These illegal arrests led to many actual threats to the country be allowed to walk free. As time passed, landlines were quickly surpassed by mobile phones. This opened up many new challenges and opportunities for criminals and law enforcement alike. “15 years ago, you were not only not carrying cell phones, or sending texts … but most of these illegal conversations were done in person,” Landau said, describing how the Galleon Group was convicted of insider trading through a series of texts. With a society that has adopted so many forms of digital communication, it was shocking to hear Landau state that wiretapping laws have been incredibly slow to reflect these changes. Before these laws were updated, the government did not just listen in to specific people, they began using metadata. Metadata is data that describes patterns in other data and was used with phone histories collected from Internet service providers to detect potential threats before they were realized. This was done with seemingly good intentions and appeared harmless. But, once it was revealed via Snowden, researchers quickly showed how even gathering someone’s phone history without listening can be invasion of privacy. After all, making multiple calls to somewhere such as an abortion clinic has very heavy implications. Landau argued that while metadata may make it easier to find criminals, the cost to privacy was too high for many citizens. Despite this, Landau does not blame the law enforcement or the federal agencies for their dubious tactics. Rather, she blames the lack of manpower and poor funding that they receive. Another solution that could help is better communication between the local, state and federal levels about their situation and needs. Landau concluded with a discussion about the civil organizations that shape federal policies (such as Planned Parenthood, Kiwanis Club and the American Cancer Society). She claimed that these organizations are what stand between legislators and

courtesy University of Tulsa Susan Landau, a visiting professor, advocated for civil rights organizations as a buffer between person and state.

votes as a liaison. However, they are also the weak links in America’s civic infrastructure as they are crucial to society but are not capable of protecting themselves. They require protection from the government but also have options available that can be implemented without assistance such as twofactor authentication.

The next Graves Cybersecurity Distinguished Lecture is set for some time in the fall of 2018. For more information on Dr. Susan Landau or this presentation, her book “Listening In: Cybersecurity in an Insecure Age” is available for purchase online and in stores.

The Collegian: 8

Feb. 19 2:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers took a report from a student who had received unwanted contact from another student. The student was advised to inform Security of any future incidents. 3:15 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to the Newman Center on a complaint of an individual using the facilities that is not affiliated with the university. Officers detained the individual and contacted the Tulsa Police Department after discovering a previous trespass warning from campus. The individual was arrested by TPD for trespassing and an active warrant issued in Tulsa County. 8:05 p.m. While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were flagged down by an individual who had been part of a domestic violence incident with their roommate in the Brown Village Apartments. Officers made contact with the other party. Tulsa Police Department was contacted. Neither party wanted to file charges.

News Feb. 20 2:30 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the University Square Apartments West for a welfare check on a student. Officers made contact with the student and determined an illness had prevented the student from attending a meeting. 11:15 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to a noise complaint in the University Square Apartments West. A University of Tulsa student was listening to loud music. The student agreed to turn down the volume of the music. A Campus Housing Contact Card was completed. Feb. 21 6:10 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Hardesty Hall on a report of an injured person. Officers arrived and found that the injured party was not a University of Tulsa affiliate. The person had slipped on some ice and refused any medical attention from officers. 12:25 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Hardesty Hall for a report of a student who had fallen on some ice. Officers met with the student who had slipped on the ice, but had not sustained any injuries. The student refused any medical care from officers. Feb. 22 10:30 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the McFarlin Library for a report of stolen artifacts. Officers

Emma Palmer Student Writer

Syrian government holds half of Eastern Ghouta Following the failed call for a ceasefire in Syria due to resistance from the Syrian government’s ally Russia, the UN has reported that forces loyal to the Syrian government have taken control of more than half of Eastern Ghouta, the largest surviving rebel enclave, near the capital of Damascus. The government is reportedly moving further in, with civilians fleeing occupied villages to Douma, the largest town in the enclave. Aerial bombs have reportedly killed at least 20 people in the government troops’ latest attempt to move in further. Although the UN was permitted to send a relief envoy to the city, where over 850 people have been reported to be killed since an attack beginning in February from government bombings—--including many children—--the envoy was only able to partially unload, as shells began to fall as they were in the middle of administering relief.

Millions strike in Spain for Women’s Day Women in Spain celebrated International Women’s Day by protesting the gender wage gap. Over five million women joined the 24-hour strike, rallying around the cry, “If we stop, the world stops.” The strike has been backed by 10 unions and has had vocal support by some of Spain’s top women politicians, who urged women to stop working, to spend no money and to refrain from any domestic chores. While two of the five women ministers in Spain said they would work longer hours to demonstrate the capacity of women, popular female broadcasters were notably absent from airwaves and TV. Protests have affected travel in Spain,limiting availability of flights and public transportation.. The country has held over 200 protests in both metropolitan and rural areas and has been met with mostly positive support. The gender wage gap in Spain is currently 13 percent in the public sector and 19 percent in the private sector.

12 March 2018

spoke with library staff and determined that two items had been removed from Special Collections at an unknown date and time. The library staff stated that multiple construction projects were being done in the year, and that contractors had access into the Special Collections area. Feb. 24 4:00 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Fisher South Hall for a report of a student who had consumed alcohol underage. The reporting party claimed that the student had returned to their dorm room under the influence of alcohol and urinated in a closet. Officers met with the reporting party and student in question. The student admitted to having consumed alcohol underage. 1:25 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to 5th Place and South Harvard Avenue for a report of a non injury motor vehicle accident. Officers met with a TU student and a non TU affiliated individual who had collided on Harvard Avenue while traveling south. Officers documented the accident scene and took photos of the damage. Officers also facilitated in the exchange of insurance information. Feb. 25 8:35 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to a fire alarm at the Allen Chapman Student Union. Officers cleared the building but were unable to find any evidence of smoke or fire. Officers reset the fire panel.

Feb. 27 10:10 p.m. While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers observed a vehicle spinning its back tires in the Lorton Village Apartments Lot. Officers made contact with the driver of the vehicle and identified them as a student. The student stated they were just blowing off steam after returning from work. Officers cited the student for excessive acceleration. Feb. 28 1:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers towed a vehicle off campus from the Brown Village Apartments Lot. A vehicle was found parked contrary to university policy and officers verified that the vehicle had been previously tow warned. Towing of the vehicle was authorized by the on-duty supervisor. While Storey Wrecker was in possession of the vehicle, the owner arrived on scene and their vehicle was released. 8:15 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Lorton Performance Center Lot in reference to an individual stumbling across the parking lot. Upon arrival, officers made contact with the individual who was not affiliated with the University of Tulsa. The individual came back negative for warrants and contact. The individual was trespass warned and left the property without further incident. A contact card was created. The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Monday, March 12 at 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. Chapman Hall, Lecture hall Dispossesion, Racism, and the Environment Drawing on more than 20 years of research in the Pacific Island country of Papua New Guinea, Paige West, professor of anthropology at Columbia/Barnard University, discusses how images of nature and culture affect uneven economic development within the global system.

Tuesday, March 13 at 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Lorton Performance Center, Gussman Concert Hall Screening of “Walking Out” with Filmmaker Alex Smith Filmmaker Alex Smith appears on campus to present and answer questions about his feature film, Walking Out, an outdoor adventure story starring Matt Bomer, Josh Wiggins and Bill Pullman. Urban teenager Cal journeys to Montana to hunt big game with his estranged father. Father and son struggle to connect until a brutal encounter in the heart of the wilderness changes everything. Tuesday, March 13 at 7:30 p.m. Lorton Performance Center, Meinig Recital Hall Student Recital by Jesica Santino Jesica Santino presents a Junior Vocal Recital. Accompanied by Brady McElligott, piano, she will be performing works by Handel, Richard Strauss, Debussy, Douglas Moore and Pablo Luna.

Wednesday. March 14 at 12 p.m. to 12:50 p.m. Keplinger Hall, 3010 (formerly U2)

Geo Seminar Dr. Richard Xu will talk about “Anisotropy modeling of SEAM’s deepwater 3D earth model.” Xu is chief geophysicist at SunRise PetroSolutions Tech, Inc., in Tulsa.

Wednesday, March 14 at 12:10 p.m. to 12:50 p.m. Zink Hall, Room 226 CSAS Effective Note-Taking Workshop The brain can take in and hold information only until new information comes along to replace it. Meaningful, long-term memory occurs after and between classes as you study. Find out ways to take effective notes that you will remember. Thursday, March 15 at 9 a.m. Student Union

Amelia Earhart’s bones found in Nikumaroro A new study published in “Forensic Anthropology” and conducted by Dr. Richard Jantz suggests that the 13 human bones found by an expedition exploring the pacific island of Nikumaroro in 1940 are likely to have been the remains of world-renowned pilot Amelia Earhart. The article claims the bones prove that Earhart died an island castaway. Along with the bones, the expedition discovered additional artifacts, including navigational tools likely used by Earhart’s navigator, Fred Noonan, and a bottle of Benedictine, an herbal liqueur Earhart was known to carry with her. When the remains were initially discovered in 1940 they were sent to Fiji to be analyzed by a medical professional, who concluded they belonged to a male. However, scientists of today have determined that the measurements match Earhart’s. The study concludes that: “until definitive evidence is presented that the remains are not those of Amelia Earhart, the most convincing argument is that they are hers.”

Drama Festival All students in Primary 1 and up will participate in our annual Drama Festival, which will be held at the Allen Chapman Student Union. Performances are given twice - once during the day at 9:00 a.m. and again in the evening at 6:00 p.m. Friday, March 16 at 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. Lorton Performance Center TEDx at University of Tulsa 2018 The University of Tulsa is hosting its third TEDx event. This exciting, interdisciplinary event will showcase the ideas of TU’s students and faculty in a format designed to be entertaining as well as informative. TEDxUniversityofTulsa is an independent TED-like conference being brought to you by students who have a passion and love for TED. The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar. Contact us at with events.

12 March 2018


The Collegian: 9 The Legislative Digest is your weekly look at the happenings of Oklahoma’s state legislature, and the bills and politics you need to know.

Pluses and minuses Pluses and minuses an A+ GPA system would fail students A student’s GPA does not necessarily represent a student’s understanding of a course, and GPAs should more accurately describe a student’s work. Trenton Gibbons News Editor Throughout middle school, I was an Aminus student; when I got to high school, I’ll confess to something closer to a solid B then a B-plus average. When I came to the University of Tulsa, I adjusted very quickly to a GPA system lacking in pluses and minuses. It became normal for me to scrape by with an A, or to dip into a B with no sign for either that I was on the edge of an entirely different letter grade. Even the occasional C refused to acknowledge, as petty as it sounds, that it was damn well close to not being a C. I understand the argument for this more rigid system of grading, I think, but it can occasionally seem to lack the precision required of a more accurate system of measurement. If our GPAs are supposed to be indicative of how well we performed academically, then I personally prefer the inclusion of pluses and minuses.

I think there are a lot of people who dislike a plus/minus grading system because it prevents their As, in the case that those As are in the low-nineties, from affecting their GPA as positively as a normal A would do. That’s a fair case, and maybe the strongest argument against the inclusion of pluses and minuses in our grading system. Then again, many of my As have fallen in that low-nineties category, so why would I like the inclusion of A-minus? I think the plus/minus system makes a lot of sense, especially when you are looking at essays or projects not so easily graded as a test. If a professor feels you did a job that stands out from the majority of B-work they’ve graded thus far, but is especially reluctant to give you an A, they might be much more comfortable giving you a B+ or even an A-. Though it is hardly an example of how a professional university should function, I’m reminded of a moment from my middle school, when my art teacher, who legitimately disliked me, gave an assignment of mine the “lowest A possible,” in her own words. I was actually quite content with that grade, for whatever reason. If not for the Aminus, that teacher would have likely graded my assignments as a steady string of Bs. Am I an underachiever, do I occasionally lack a serious work ethic? Yeah. But one would think that would cause me to dislike the plus/minus system, not prefer it. Honestly, I’m happy to take an A equal to anyone else’s, even when that A is just a tick above a B. But I don’t think it reflects anyone’s academic performance as accurately as either they, professors or future employers might hope.

Students would lose more than just their high GPAs if TU were to switch from its current system of GPAs to a plus/minus system. Raven Fawcett Commentary Editor Universities have increasingly adopted a GPA system that counts pluses and minuses. As of 2002, around 56 percent of two- and four-year higher education institutions used the plus/minus system. For example, the system would count an A+ as a 4.0, while an A- might be a 3.7. A number of institutions feel that this system more accurately reflects students’ abilities and increases their motivation. It might seem like a compelling way to count grades. After all, if I haven’t mastered 100 percent of the content from the class, why get the credit for it? It seems like a disservice to my fellow classmates, if my grade gets rounded up from a 79 percent to a B, and someone else has been at a solid 87 percent all semester. We clearly were at two different levels of work or comprehension.

son’s competency in a subject since competency itself is subjective in most areas. No two people will grade an essay exactly the same, and no two people know exactly the same things in this life. Grades are just a way to generally gauge that knowledge. A lack of specificity isn’t the only reason that schools should avoid a too-rigid grading system. Grades are stressful. They make students feel that they have something to prove, and that their worth and knowledge are tied to a number. Researchers have found that college students’ stressors are wrapped up into a tightly-wound bundle of time management, finances, academic pressure and everything else that’s likely intuitive to students and graduates alike. One study found that self-imposed stress and pressure outweigh stress from conflict and other frustrations in college. That stress, in turn, manifests itself in headaches and memory problems, among other symptoms, when left unchecked or when it turns overwhelming. Simply put, school is stressful. For grades, this means that students are more likely to feel more pressure and believe that they should do better when the standards for their GPA are more exacting. And we should all strive to do better and work harder. But the costs add up. It can feel overwhelming when you have six deadlines in a week and three jobs and you haven’t called home in months. A hit to your GPA just because you weren’t outstanding in a class but still got an A feels like insult to injury. The stress creates more problems, like headaches and memory problems, which hurts class perfor-

“That stress... manifests itself in headaches and memory problems, among other symptoms...”

graphic by Madeline Woods Students can feel pressured or motivated by changing the weight of their grades with a plus/minus system.

Moreover, maybe students would be more motivated to do better in their classes if it meant that they’d get more concrete results. That argument assumes a lot of things. It assumes that you’re really at different levels in the course. Sometimes you bomb the first test with a new professor because you weren’t sure how their tests are structured. Sometimes you have an emergency, or you work three jobs, and you’ve done the bare level that you can to get that grade for a good reason. Sometimes the class just isn’t your cup of tea, and you put in effort, sure, but not enough to get a B+ or an A+. Grading systems aren’t meant to take into account these sorts of variables. Nor should they. A grade is a way to say that a person knows roughly a lot of the course, or about as much as they could or a decent amount. It’s not an exacting tool to describe a per-

mance, which begets more stress since your GPA is at stake and now noticeably suffering. I’ll be honest: I’m a good student, I make good grades and I am deeply intimidated by the idea of a plus and minus system. If we adopted it at TU, my professors wouldn’t make exceptions for me just because I’m busy and didn’t have time to write an essay that was worth a 95 percent instead of a 93 percent, nor should they. But I also shouldn’t be punished for the fact that I have less time to do homework and projects than someone whose tuition is completely paid for. If it’s important that grades differentiate knowledge, then have professors grade accordingly. Allow them to be stricter in their grading, or less. But don’t add extra stress and a sense of increased competition to grading systems.

12 March 2018

Green bags a good start to reducing to-go meal waste

Raven Fawcett Commentary Editor Oklahoma’s legislature has passed a stunning seven pieces of legislation since its start in February. Most have been recognitions of important dates or people, or emergency measures that help with the budget or small changes in wording of already-existing laws. Instead of dithering over these easily-passed and easily-forgotten bills, here’s a look at some of the more controversial bills that are worthy of debate and more difficult to pass. SB1140: The Committee of Health and Human Services recommended that this bill pass, which is an outrage. It would allow child-placing agencies to discriminate against people for “moral or religious” reasons. And let’s be honest here: that’s a way to let agencies not allow queer parents to adopt or foster children. It would allow them to discriminate against nonChristian families as well. The same is true for LGBT+ youth in need of a home. A loving home isn’t defined by someone’s gender, sexual orientation or religion. It’s offensive that the state legislature would seek to protect this kind of preferential and narrow-minded thinking. To be clear, this bill isn’t yet passed, nor should it be. But the fact that our legislators believe in this bill and are advocating for a culture that suppresses people that aren’t like them is troubling, to say the least. SB337: This bill would require out-of-state businesses to provide Oklahoma with the amount spent by purchasers in Oklahoma from the year that consumers did not pay taxes on, which Oklahoma could then tax purchasers on. If companies didn’t provide that information, they’d be fined $10 for each purchaser’s information that they did not provide. The specifics of what they bought would not be revealed (although there are some places that are specific enough that it might as well be an itemized receipt). It’s a carryover from last year’s legislative session, where it didn’t pass but also wasn’t voted down. Regardless, Oklahoma could gain more revenue in a move that wouldn’t be likely to hurt business, making this a bill that stands a fair chance of actually helping Oklahoma’s economy. SB1367: This bill was engrossed by the Senate (meaning they passed the bill and gave the House the final form of it; the House can still amend it and send it back to the Senate, or they can accept this bill as-is). Police wouldn’t have to take into custody people who had abused prescription pills, so long as they needed help and cooperate with authorities. They wouldn’t necessarily be charged, either. And this is great! People shouldn’t be punished for their addictions, they should be helped. But let’s not forget that this includes people who aren’t white, or middle class, or both. Laws like this would disproportionately affect white people, even if it’s just that police would be more likely to extend this clemency to white people than nonwhite folks. So, while I like this bill, I’m left feeling disappointed in our legislature for not extending this bill to include all drug-related offenses and working harder to make this apply to all citizens.


The Collegian: 10

The Caf is decreasing their carbon footprint by switching to ecofriendly bags, but backpacks or totes are the best option. Ethan Veenker Variety Editor At the Pat Case Dining Center (the Caf), one doesn’t always have to eat within. The option of grabbing a to-go meal is available to students, and until recently, those who went with this option were offered a plastic bag for transporting their food. This posed obvious concerns over the University of Tulsa’s carbon footprint. I was somewhat jostled last semester when I noticed all the plastic bags in my trash. I know the blame for that falls partly on my shoulders, but as Resident Dining Manager at TU Trace Kast said, “People are creatures of habit and don’t think much about where the plastic bags come from or where they end up.” We corresponded via email over this issue.He went on, “But once they have that information they will be far more likely to be earth-friendly.” The Caf has made some degree of effort in educating students over plastic bag usage by way of placing a few statistic-mapped signs outside the entrance to the cafeteria. Still, I had to search for these to really see them; I only knew they were there because of my correspondence with Kast. The Caf is making larger strides in the

name of sustainability, however, as they rolled out a line of new environmentallyfriendly, literally green plastic bags in early March for student use. “We now have the biodegradable bags in stock,” Kast had to say. “We originally found a supplier that had the bio-bags at a better price, but they were constantly out of stock, and since we needed a reliable steady supply, we are now going through our normal vendor [Edward Don & Company].” Of course, the known tradeoff with going green is the immense cost. The situation at the Caf is no different, as Kast explained. “Cost per one thousand regular non-biodegradable bags was $26.55. We are now paying $238.31 per one thousand bags for the biodegradable bags.” That is an 898 percent increase in price, and I’ve noted my last few times at the Caf that they seem to have run out of the bags, instead handing out generic, normal plastic bags. Kast mentioned in our correspondence that Caf staff was keeping an eye on the stock of these new bags to make sure they purchased only what they needed, “as it doesn’t make good financial sense to have so much money tied up in inventory sitting on the shelf.” He predicted they would put in a new order “every week or two,” but judging on how their supplies seem to be already, these orders could possibly become more frequent. In any case, Kast assured me that TU students wouldn’t be expected to cover the difference via their room and board payments. These new plastic bags, while a certainly welcome step in the right direction, are an expense I find may be completely avoidable, or at the very least diminished. TU and Sodexo recently introduced the “Simply to Go” program, in which students could pay a one-time fee for a green plastic box with which to carry food from inside the cafeteria back to their living space, or wherever they desire. This program is popu-

lar, Kast told me, with already 85 students utilizing it. Seeing this new development, I wondered why a similar program could not be put in place for the to-go meals kept outside the cafeteria. Why not, say, offer a one-time payment for a tote bag with TU/Sodexo branding on it? This tote could be used over and over again to grab to-go meals from the Caf, meaning a greater immediate expense for the student but a lesser carbon footprint over time. Kast had no qualms with my idea, saying, “I do see more people going the reusable tote route in general than in the past, based on my observations at grocery stores and other places where plastic bags are traditionally used … It could have a variety of uses, not just to carry food. I know there are a million different totes already out there from various places, but perhaps the student association could offer a TU-themed one as a giveaway, like they do with T-shirts or blankets at special events. The book store may already offer something like that, or might look into starting to sell them too if they don’t already.”

Still, I stand by my case and my suggestion, as I think totes would eventually prove to be more economical, and in any case are a better aesthetic direction. There is an even simpler way the Caf could decrease both expenses and carbon footprint, however, and that’s through the simple suggestion for students to use their own backpack. As Kast said, hungry college students are creatures of habit. I appreciate the educational signage put in place, but I think a single sign encouraging students to use their backpacks to carry food could work better than showing them statistics over plastic bags. Kast agreed with this idea in our correspondence, saying, “I think it is an excellent idea to encourage the use of backpacks and reusable/washable totes instead of disposable bags.” As of March 12, the Caf has a sign encouraging such use. Cutting out plastic bags completely and requiring students to supply their own bags or to use their backpacks would be the most economic decision, if not slightly inconvenient. Still, given the Caf’s presence on campus, it’s not exactly a choice that would

“... totes... prove to be more economical, and in any case are a better aesthetic direction.” Kast said the Caf goes through “approximately 75 to 100 bags a day.” At this rate, an order of a thousand bags would deplete within a week-and-a-half, meaning a $238.31 purchase about bi-weekly. By the end of a semester, this would total to somewhere around $1900. Assuming the 100-students-a-day are repeat consumers, the Caf could make a small one-time purchase of totes at the beginning of each semester. A purchase of 150 custom totes from comes to somewhere under $1400. Of course, the assumption I made is a large one. There could be someone who gets a bag at the Caf four times a week and someone who gets a bag only once. This would come to five bags between them at the end of the week, suggesting a single person at a rate of one-bag-a-day, when in fact there are two people in the equation. In such a case, a tote would be more expensive, as the Caf would need to buy two totes instead of one. There is no good way of telling just how many cases like this exist, so my calculations remain based on conjecture.

drive business away. Due warning of the upcoming changes would be needed, but I believe adaptation would happen quickly. Dining staff could also opt to not provide bags to students unless specifically asked, as I usually find myself putting my food in my backpack and then having to awkwardly decline a plastic bag. “The dining department has always welcomed ideas from the student body,” Kast said at the end of our correspondence, “and I think sustainability is at the top of most people’s lists when it comes to helping our planet not only today, but for future generations.” It would seem from the Caf’s decision to switch to biodegradable bags, despite aggressive expense increases, that they do harbor some concern over the University’s carbon footprint. As I said, the biodegradable bags seem to be a step in the right direction. I think, however, that reusable totes could be an even better step. Or, most simply, remove the foot entirely and just use backpacks.


photo by Ethan Veenker The Caf has changed to compostable bags that are better for the environment.


A Letter from SA Part of the mission of Student Association is to advocate for the interests of the student body. We strive to create impactful programming and make intentional decisions that benefit as many as possible. That being said, we do recognize that we are just a small portion of campus. In light of recent events, we want to reaffirm that we are here to represent the students, and communication is our main priority. Here are a few ways that students can stay up-to-date on Student Association happenings and give feedback for us to improve. Follow Us on Social Media SA keeps our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages up to date with important news and upcoming events. Students can also message us on these platforms to speak with a representative. We do understand that not all students have social media. Unfortunately, while we used to have an all-school weekly email newsletter, this service is no longer available. We are actively working with administration to find a solution. Visit Our Office Hours Student Association offices are located on the second floor of the Student Union. We have recently begun offering office hours where students can drop by to speak with

a representative. Students can visit the SA conference room Monday – Thursday, 10 a.m. – 7 p.m., and Friday, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m., to speak with an SA member involved in an executive capacity. Students can email sa@ to schedule an appointment. Become an Active Member of SA While technically every student is a member of SA just by attending TU, there are opportunities to get further involved. We currently have available seats on our Senate branch to get involved immediately, and applications to be involved in Cabinet and Judicial are made available every fall. For more information on what each branch of SA entails, visit our website at www.orgs. If you would like to get involved immediately, email Read Our Minutes All minutes from our cabinet and senate meetings are made public each week and can be accessed on our website, www.orgs. We hope that you, the students, will take this opportunity to reach out and communicate with us. In order for SA to advocate for and properly represent the students, we have to know what you want. Let’s start a conversation.



12 March 2018

The Collegian: 11

Campus trips up people with disabilities

While the campus is mostly technically ADA compliant, TU is still not truly accessible to all. Madison Connell Apprentice Editor Getting a wheelchair five months ago changed my view of the world, quite literally. Not only was my line of vision now a foot or two lower, but I started noticing handicap accessibility problems that I had never noticed before. While organizations such as Center of Student Academic Support (CSAS) are a great resource for students with disabilities on campus, the campus has a long way to go before they are truly accessible to every student.

Small things became apparent first. The handicap buttons found on doors seem to sporadically work depending on the time of day and what direction the wind is blowing at the moment. Other features of campus form a bigger problem. Fisher West, my current dorm, leaves me with few options to get out of the building. The south entrance is technically accessible through an elevator, but the “ramp” is incomplete, with a massive dip where there is no concrete. Many times have I tried to go use that exit and instead gotten stuck. The only other easy entrance or exit uses the door by the cafeteria, or “bike rack number two,” as many might know it as. Every single day, multiple bikes park here, obstructing the path. I don’t disagree that it’s convenient, but being able to attend class trumps the convenience of parking two whole feet closer to your destination. The engineers who designed this campus certainly weren’t handicapped. The “aesthetically pleasing” pebbled potholes behind Kendall ask for headaches. Certain ramps, such as the one located between ACAC and Keplinger, as well as the one for Tyrrell, re-

quire NASCAR-level experience at turning while speeding off to that event you almost forgot to go to. Not to single out Kendall, but it again exemplifies a building that is technically handicap accessible but is terribly impractical to use on a daily basis by having only one out-of-the-way ramped entrance or exit.

happen to have readily-achievable accessibility faults, such as the entrances to financial aid office, apartment complexes, Phillips Hall and the Physical Plant. To most readily-walking students, the four or so steps to buildings such as the financial aid office do not even cross their minds. At best, the engineers on

Housing went above and beyond this year to help me when it came to finding me an apartment for the upcoming year. At first, I struggled finding a place on campus that met my requirements of being able to get my wheelchair in and out of it; there is not a single map available to students that shows where there are wheelchair ramps leading to

“Certain ramps...require NASCAR-level experience at turning while speeding off to that event you almost forgot.” Technically speaking, the campus almost fully completes the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) requirements. The law requires that only a specified number of elements be “readily achievable” to the public. These include the entrances to buildings, bathrooms, telephones and other services. It goes on to say that readily achievable means “easily accomplishable and able to be carried out without much difficulty or expense.” It goes on to give the example of turning a few steps into a ramp. A few of the buildings on campus

photos by Raven Fawcett Buildings on campus are difficult to enter when using a wheelchair, as shown by (top to bottom): Fisher West Suites, Physical Plant and McFarlin Library.

campus demonstrated laziness by not retrofitting the older buildings on campus such as Phillips and Physical Plant by replacing the two steps or half flight entrances to easier access for all students. The buildings created after the 1990 amendment passed, however, indicate clear lack of care for all of their students. Collins Hall, which includes the financial aid office, was built only eleven years ago, well after the adoption of the ADA. There are three ramps leading directly into the financial aid department. In theory, this is grand. In practice? Not so much, when there are several stairs leading up to each ramp. Whoever made this decision deserves the biggest You Tried gold medal. Instead, in order to discuss scholarships and loans a student is required to go through a back, employee entrance or all the way around to the main entrance of Collins Hall. The administrative assistant at the front desk then calls the financial aid office. It is only then that a financial aid representative can bring you through the mess of a building to the lobby of their office. This building perfectly exemplifies “readily achievable.” It only takes a bit of concrete to change these steps into a nice ramp. Maybe a few days, a week max, would it take to correct something that legally is not allowed in the first place. Some places on campus might technically classify as ADA compliant but impede students from completely experiencing campus life. Examples include the John Mabee and Lottie Jane Mabee wings that separate themselves from the rest of the building by a half flight of steps, as well as the upper floors of Fisher South. Each of these are poorly designed but are admittedly tough to retrofit. Fisher South in particular keeps incoming freshmen from the true “freshmen experience” of living in the exclusively first-year dorm by having no elevator. While they can access the first floor, the upper floors contain important parts of the building such as the kitchen, quiet study room, vending machines and the ice machine. That, and it keeps students from being able to visit their friends in the upper floors. All of this isn’t to say that the campus doesn’t do a lot to accommodate handicapped individual such as myself. The Center for Student Academic Support greatly provides for students of all disabilities. A few common examples of what they do for those on campus include providing note takers, changing a class to a more easily accessible classroom and hooking students up with free tutoring. They accommodate approximately 350 students on campus, although many more might have disabilities that are not registered through the university. One slightly-less typical accommodation I was given prior to my wheelchair days was the ability to get a ride from Campus Security when needed. Most of the officers on campus are more than willing to not only give a ride to my next class but also ensure I get home alright by personally escorting me back to my room on the days I cannot walk on my own very well .

a place and where there are only stairs. After discussing this with the right housing staff members, I met with someone who helped me reserve a room to make sure there would be an appropriate first floor apartment near a ramp for me. Beyond the administrative staff, all of the students and teachers are some of the most welcoming people I have had the experience of knowing. If one of the handicap buttons on campus doesn’t seem to be working, a student often isn’t far behind to open the door for me. Teachers often bend down to pick up a piece of paper I dropped and cannot grab. My friends still laugh at my bad jokes and teachers still listen to my contribution to the discussions in class. Still, there is a long way to go. Some changes are simple and would fall under the ADA “readily achievable” standard such as re-paving unusable ramps such as the one on the south side of Fisher West and turning the few stairs leading into Physical Plant and the financial aid office into workable ramps. Another simple solution is to add a handicap button on the east entrance into the library; without one, it is difficult to take a sharp 90 degree turn and go back and forth on the small ledge without falling down the nearby stairs. These don’t sound like much but would significantly affect the lives of some on campus. Also, one way to ensure that handicap ramps in parking lots are not blocked by parked cars in parking spaces is to take a can of bright blue spray paint and block that space off as a handicap spot. This would only take a few minutes of someone’s life and under ten dollars out of their massive budget. Similarly, Campus Security could exercise their ticketing power to create hefty fines for those who park their bikes on the handicap ramp outside the cafeteria. This would quickly fix the problem; the broke college student stereotype often holds true. If it’s not a TU registered bike, it could instead have the lock broken and moved out of the way if a repeated offender. The final step the administration needs to do is keep all of its students in mind when renovating or building new places on campus. It might be too expensive to reasonably renovate older buildings, but it’s not too late to keep every student, teacher and administrator in mind going forward. To help report these issues, there are several avenues you can try. According to Tawny Rigsby, the director of CSAS, any administrator or faculty member should theoretically be able to get you to the right place, but CSAS and Physical Plant (if you can get to it) are often the most direct options. Amber Bagwell, the Assistant Director of Student Retention, Success and Inclusion at CSAS, is looking to start a student-led organization for disability advocacy and ally group. “Students are on the ground, front line, they see what’s happening,” said Rigsby on the issue. “You guys are the ones who can make things happen.” If interested, please email Bagwell at


The Collegian: 12

12 March 2018

Student desk assistants losing vital hours

TU is changing the desk assistant position in dorms, which cuts down on student safety and earnings. Michaela Flonard Managing Editor

TU housing is about to undergo some changes. According to Assistant Director of Resident Life Andreya Williams, the department has hired several department assistants who will staff the desk during business hours, allowing students to work from 5 p.m. to midnight. While the new change may be a well-intentioned gesture meant to make students’ lives easier, it also will negatively impact many student workers. Currently, students can staff any dorm desk 24/7. Housing staff (i.e., SRAs, RAs and administrative coordinators) and non-housing staff students, both work study and non-work study, fill this position. The five open dorms attempt to have every hour covered during the week; of course, this doesn’t always happen. Looking through the shift books for each area, however, most places had under 10 hours of the week unstaffed. Counting all five dorms, students have 840 available work hours every week. The average student works about 10 hours a week; staff sometimes work less, as they’re mandated to have “visibility” hours and to make enough money to support themselves, but students can work a total of 20 hours per week for on an on-campus job. In the coming year, however, housing plans to install department assistants. These assistants will be staff, not students, and will work the desk during business hours. Williams explained that these assistants will help with various tasks and will “complete requests such as room changes, replacement keys, check-out building equipment, etc.” Once the assistants leave for the day, desk hours from 5 p.m. to midnight may be taken by the students. It is unclear if the desk will be staffed during weekends as

Williams did not get back to further requests. This change, with or without staffing during weekends, represents a drastic cut to available hours for working students. Leaving students only seven hours during each weekday, instead of 24 hours, presents a problem. How will student who currently rely on working at a dorm desk continue to support themselves? Even with the five available dorms, student hours during the week are being cut from 600 hours to 175 hours. About 100 students work desk shifts weekly currently. Some work up to the max of 20 hours a week, while most average near 10 hours. For all dorms, staff gets first pick of the hours they are mandated to have per week, followed by work-study students, a mixture of student staff and non-staff, and then non-work study. With the new positions, student staff may no longer have mandated hours, but unless the university is raising their pay, or paying for the meal plans they are required to get (which is another discussion for a later date), these students will still need those hours. And so will other students. If everyone works equal hours (which they don’t), students would, as it stands, have an opportunity to work six hours during the week days for a total of 8.4 hours a week. Desk study is a minimum wage job ($7.25/hour), with raises being incorporated for length of time served, but if we assume 10 cents over minimum wage, to account for raises across the population or night shift, the average student working this much would make $72.50 per week. Now with the hiring of these new positions, students could work approximately 1.75 hours Monday through Friday, with less than a half an hour available per student if the weekends will be staffed (which, may I remind you, is not confirmed as of yet). With the same calculations for pay, this would drop the student’s pay $12.68 per week, a drop of close to $60. That’s absurd. Tulsa is a cheap city, but the university isn’t, and paying for both college and normal bills does not lend itself to surviving on that little money. I’m sure someone will say, “This isn’t that much of a problem, students can find new jobs, and learn the meaning of hard work.” And

yes, some of them will find new jobs. But that presents a whole host of problems. Many places find it difficult to work around a student schedule, as we have gaps in odd hours or are unavailable when needed most. Other students lack cars, especially as out-of-state or freshmen, and can’t get to a job off campus. And students face competition for these jobs, against people who might have a bit more steady of a schedule or who aren’t liable to leave for breaks for long periods of time. The school hasn’t announced any accompanying plans to hire these students in other positions, and frankly, I’m not sure where they would go. The gym always seems to be hiring new people, but I doubt they need close to a 100 fresh new faces. Maybe we could open up some places later with all these student workers, but then again, the school would just be spending even more money paying both students and these department assistants. On top of all of this, why is this new position even necessary? Student desk assistants can check out

lives, but we have to consider the whole picture. Is that five minutes you save going to your department assistant versus dealing with upper housing really worth affecting fellow students that much? Plus, how much will these new positions even be used? The bulk of our classes are between business hours, with spaces for lunch or studying or work, so many students might not even get to their dorm during the day. From talking to current desk assistants, some mentioned that the nighttime hours can be the busiest – people get locked out after parties, want to watch movies at night or other things the desk assistant is needed for. One of the other major problems with the new changes is safety. During tours, university ambassadors often claim that desks are staffed 24/7, providing an extra layer of safety. Now, they’ll no longer be able to claim that. Desk assistants can question people wandering into the building at late hours of the night, alerting campus security to potential intruders, or prevent someone from follow-

our voices heard. If you’re one of those students affected, tell administration exactly how less hours will affect your life. And if you’re not, stand with your peers. If you think this change is detrimental to other students, let administration and upper housing know. If you’re not affected by these changes (perhaps you live in an apartment onor off-campus or don’t work the desk), it might still affect you. If you’re friends with anyone who works the desk, get ready to hear more complaints about money issues from these friends; until they find new jobs, they might be struggling a bit more to make ends meet and miss out on events because they can’t spare the cash. Even if these positions have already been hired, rules can still be changed, and a year from now, these positions could be altered or removed entirely. While student voices may not be able to change what is already in the works, it will perhaps give them pause next time they consider making changes without asking students or considering all the effects on students. Too often we let

photo by Raven Fawcett Without a desk assistant, more rules are liable to be broken, leaving students without help and buildings without a supervisor.

building equipment, RAs/SRAs deal with room lock-outs and RDs currently deal with room changes and key requests. Plus, if the desks aren’t staffed over the weekend, it may make students’ lives even more difficult in that to check out equipment (like a vacuum if you need to clean for a visiting friend) or get locked out, students will have to call the duty phone and wait for student staff to arrive and help them. I understand that having someone there to help do those might make those living in the dorms have a tiny bit easier of

ing someone in who’s trying to get out of a bad situation. Yes, the desk will be staffed from 8 a.m. to midnight, but there’s a huge gap in there where it won’t, and at night, some of these threats may become more evident with people returning late from parties or other events. Student staff aren’t armed guards (and neither, I’m assuming, will be the new positions), but they are, however, the first line of defense at the dorms. And changing the structure of this alters how well our dorms are protected. As students, we need to make

the university make major changes (e.g., raising tuition year after year) without making too much of a ruckus. This needs to stop. These changes pose a threat to fellow students’ welfare, and we should hold the university accountable. Unfortunately, I was unable to get the full details of the plan from housing. I made multiple attempts over the course of a month, but was only able to get a brief description of the changes. At the very least, I hope housing gets back to students who will be affected by these changes relatively soon.

Gun licensing bill overshoots, gives rights to too many

The Oklahoma state legislature is trying to loosen restrictions on gun control at a time when they should tighten them. Nathan Hinkle Student Writer On February 5, House Representatives Jeff Coody and Nathan Dahm proposed House Bill 2951, which made new changes to requirements for carrying firearms. After succeeding in the Public Safety Committee, the bill is now headed to House of Representatives. Under current Oklahoma law, all Oklahoma residents are required to receive a license from the state and have undergone eight hours of training in order to carry a firearm. In this bill, Oklahoma will allow “the carrying of a firearm, concealed or unconcealed, unloaded or loaded, by a person who is at least 21 years of age or eighteen years of age but not yet 21 years of age and the person is a veteran of the United States Armed Forces, the Reserves or National Guard or who was discharged under honorable conditions.” In addition to giving the average

citizen the right to carry firearms without a permit, HB2951 also allows teachers at private schools to carry firearms at their workplace. Education boards across Oklahoma will be given the right to decide if teachers in their districts should be allowed this opportunity as well. Not all potential citizens are included in this wide measure. Illegal aliens as well as former criminals who were arrested for crimes, such as assault, domestic abuse or drug offenses, are not allowed to carry guns or even be in a car that has a gun inside. With this freedom though, citizens are still not allowed to bring guns into state or federal buildings and sports and gambling destinations, unless allowed by the event holder.

that refers to types and calibers and who can carry. But it does not give the government the right to have a litmus test or a background check or require you to do anything to earn your right. It is not a drivers’ license. It is a constitutional right.” Lawful citizens, according to Coody, should be allowed to carry firearms freely because the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution gives them this freedom. The solution to gun violence is to remove guns and deadly weapons from the hands of criminals and illegal aliens. By doing this, you remove known dangerous individuals while still allowing the average law abiding citizen their constitutional right.

going to take away our strong laws.” They feel that current gun laws help make sure that only properly trained individuals are allowed to carry firearms. Adding more guns to the streets and the classrooms will not fix the problem of gun deaths but only increase them. There are several issues with this bill in that it focuses on a small minority of individuals rather than the larger issue, and it attempts to fix the problem of school shootings by adding more guns when the opposite has been to shown to work across the globe. One of the new additions to Oklahoma gun ownership law specifically mentions illegal aliens as being unable to carry firearms.

“Instead of focusing on illegal immigrants, the government should be focused on criminals and potentially dangerous citizens.” This bill attempts to fix the problems of recent school shootings while still allowing average citizens to properly own guns. It, however, focuses on the wrong set of issues. Instead of removing restrictions on the average citizen in place of regulation of illegal aliens and known criminals, Oklahoma should instead focus on making sure every gun-owning citizen is properly trained and mentally stable, which our current laws do. When asked about his reasoning behind the new bill, Representative Jeff Coody stated, “The Oklahoma Constitution says reasonable regulation is allowed, but I think

Not everybody is on board with this legislation proposed by the government. An activist group known as Moms Demand Action went to the capital last Tuesday to protest the bill and similar legislation proposed by Coody. They fear that removing this legislation will make it substantially easier for untrained citizens to freely carry around firearms. In a statement to “Oklahoma News 4,” member Alyson King stated, “Oklahoma already has strong laws that ask people to get their permit with training, and they’re required to do that and, if we have permitless carry, that’s

According to the American Immigrant Council, there were only around 95,000 illegal immigrants in Oklahoma, which is 2 percent of the total population in 2014. In addition to their extremely small population, illegal immigrants are less likely to cause crimes than their native born counterparts. According to a 2017 study done by the Cato Institute, “Illegal immigrants, aged 18 to 54, were 44 percent less likely to be incarcerated in the age group.” It would be more important for legislation to focus on the larger issue rather than such a relatively insignificant minority. Instead of

focusing on illegal immigrants, the government should be focused on criminals and potentially dangerous citizens. One of the other claims made by the bill is that ownership of guns in the hands of teachers would reduce school shootings. However, across the world, it has been shown that decreasing the accessibility of guns has reduced gun violence. While the United States has different qualities than other countries, it can still learn from others. Japan has tight gun control laws and only experienced 11 gun-related deaths in 2008 compared to 12,000 in the United States. While the United States’ population is massively larger, similar Japanese policies would have an effect in the United States. This can also be seen in Great Britain, which had 26 gunrelated deaths in 2016. Through this data, we can learn that giving guns to teachers and other officials does not reduce gun deaths but rather increases them. If the citizens of Oklahoma want to carry dangerous weapons such as firearms, they should be required to receive training and mental health certification to make they are ready for such a dangerous possibility. House Bill 2951 does the complete opposite of this and promotes a system in which everyone is allowed to carry a gun until they eventually do something dangerous. Instead of catching them after the crime has been committed and irreparable damage has occurred, we should catch potential criminals when they are receiving a weapon.

12 March 2018


The Collegian: 13

New Ezra Furman album an exploration of otherness

Furman’s latest release “Transangelic Exodus” is a concept album centering around illegal angels and an outlaw narrator. Emily Every Apprentice Editor

Ezra Furman’s newest solo album, “Transangelic Exodus,” centers around a “queer outlaw saga.” It’s a sort of concept album about escaping the government on a road trip with an angel, but it’s also a mediation on otherness in the modern world. Equally, it’s about trusting God to help the weary. Regardless of the exact perspective you see it through, the album is successful in what it sets out to do: communicating this story of angels and outlaws through a really solid pop-rock album. Ezra Furman first cropped up in the music industry in with 2007’s “Banging Down the Doors,” a punk-minded indie rock album that toys with the complexities of religion and feelings of teenage inadequacy. It’s nothing too out of the ordinary for its genre, in all honesty. What saves the album from the mire of teenage self-loathing is Furman’s crackling tenor and lyrical imagination. “God Is A Middle-Aged Woman,” off this early album, typifies Furman’s artistic sensibilities. With its production rough around the edges and descending into something akin to wailing at its end, the song recounts a God who’s “really shy” and “thinking about remarriage / To a guy she recently met / And hasn’t even asked out on a date yet.” In a serious role reversal, Furman reassures God that “things are gonna be fine” and wonders how he had never noticed how beautiful the world is. Furman creates wonder and relief from his own constructed tragedies, reminding his audience that the world has some natural order, hidden though it may be. The harmonica is also pretty good in this track. His choice to cast God as a middle-aged divorcée isn’t too surprising. Ezra Furman has been toying with marginal identities in relation to society at large since the beginning of his career and continues to do so. Furman’s own voice as a gender-nonconforming, non-heterosexual, Jewish artist seemingly informs his subject matter to a great extent. This allegiance to the underdog is nowhere clearer in Furman’s discography than in “Transangelic Exodus,” in which each track roots back to motifs of marginalization and solidarity. The opening track of the album, “Suck the Blood from My Wound,” effectively kicks off the album in a in media res car

crash. Starting off with some crunchy, industrial synths, the song details our narrator “waiting for [his] deus ex machina” and finding that savior figure in an angel “climbing out the hospital window / Leaving tubes in a tangle.” Though not directly explained in the album itself, Furman states in an interview with NME that being an angel “is thought to be a disease, or some sort of threat to the integrity of the human race” within the loose story of the album. Furman further explains that “I’m in love with an angel, and a government is after us, and we have to leave home because angels are illegal.” As our narrator and his angel make their escape from the hospital, we are treated to the hook of this track: “Angel, don’t fight it / To them you know we’ll always be freaks.” In some sense, these lyrics acts as the central thesis of the album. There is no regret or sadness in the tone Furman’s delivery. It sounds instead like a declaration of truth, as if recognizing that the narrator and his angel will only be viewed by others as “freaks” liberates them from needing to dissemble in order to survive. This theme is further cemented in the single off the album, “Driving Down to L.A.,” in which our narrator sings over a reverberating synth bass that he’s “built a home inside [angel’s] eyes / and [he’s] not leaving.” There’s this sense of sonic immenseness in the track, especially in its latter half, from the layered industrial drums, booming synth bass and Furman’s vocal delivery. The song’s immenseness also stems from the idea that Furman seems to be circling around: maybe it is no real necessity to be accepted by society at large. Furman instead loops the idea of acceptance back into religion. “God Lifts Up the Lowly” is a slower, more meditative track on the album, heavily featuring the cello and piano. Being the third track of the album, it

verse of the track is a reverberating, chanted Hebrew prayer, re-emphasizing that God lifts up the lowly and redeems the needy. The quality of production on this album is a significant change from Furman’s earlier works. The production on “Transangelic Exodus” seems to be a bit cleaner than on his previous records, even with the industrial elements layered in. The sonic landscape is richer than your everyday guitar, bass and drums. Furman includes horns, xylophones and cellos in a good number of the tracks. And though there unfortunately isn’t as much harmonica as his early work, the tem-

slows down the momentum of the album a bit and gives the narrator some time to lament. The story of our narrator and angel develops as they’re “driving in a car that won’t slow down” and praying “for plagues to come down on this Egypt.” With the slower pace of the song coupled with Furman’s flat delivery of downtrodden lyrics, the track borders on being a dirge. The melancholy tone subsides as the song progresses and the titular hook comes into play; “I know that God lifts up the lowly” confesses the narrator, giving the sense that the underdogs of this albums are divinely justified. The final

pos and riffs in use are a lot more varied and engaging than the ‘60s proto-punk rock that Furman had been emulating. The genre that this album falls into is a bit hard to pin down. Generally, it’s a pop-rock album, but to that seems reductive of the variety of sound and mood throughout the album. The rushed, bombastic drums and fraught vocals of “No Place” seem incongruous to the baroque pop vocals and lyrical structure of “I Lost My Innocence.” The genre shifts in some sense mirror the shift in tone as our narrator comes to terms with his otherness represented by the alle-

Madison Connell Apprentice Editor On Friday, March 10, Living Arts Tulsa put on their annual Oklahoma Avant Garde show to a crowd of about 70 people. First walking in, I was welcomed by a variety of the current art installation housed at the Living Arts venue in downtown Tulsa. A variety of technology-based pieces begged to be turned on and played with, but unfortunately the exhibit was powered down as it was not the main event. Another wall had what appeared to be random words and phrases such as “Brad Pitt smokes weed” and “no communist gods” marked in big black Sharpie. These words seemed almost to be written by the poets, or maybe even that the poets used some of the references for inspiration, though there was likely no correlation. “Transangelic Exodus” features an industrial sonic landscape and choppy synths.

“Each track roots back to motifs of marginalization and solidarity...”

courtesy Bella Union

gory of falling in love with an angel. There are ups and downs in a journey to self-acceptance, and so there are ups and downs in the record. The middle of the album is particularly slow and self-critical; the production becomes a bit rawer around the edges and the instrumentation more bare as Furman’s lyrics become increasingly doubtful. “Come Here Get Away from Me” bottoms out the album with a Lou Reed-esque guitar riff backing our narrator recounting his regrets and difficulties with intimacy. Furman delivers the lyrics as if it were a monologue, at one point even accusing the audience of prying with the line, “So you say you wanna get to know me?” Following this emotional low by just three songs is the last track of the album, “I Lost My Innocence.” The song is a tight pop track that wouldn’t sound too out of place in the discography of the Beach Boys. Mirroring his self-acceptance in the hook of the first song, Furman sings that he found “a kingdom of love, outside the / Reigning order / And I found my angel on a motorcycle / I’m a queer for life / Outlaw, outsider.” Though the album may occasionally get lost in self-doubt, it begins and ends strongly with self-love and solidarity with outsiders. And honestly, it’s a refreshing narrative in 2018. Furman’s world of angels and outlaws isn’t idyllic, but it at least promises hope.

Amber Bunnag-Stoner Distribution Manager On the heels of the Tulsa Opera’s “The Stars Align” concert came TU Opera’s spring show, “Thoroughly Modern Martha,” performed on Thursday, March 8 and Friday, March 9 at the Lorton Performance Center’s Gussman Hall. There were two separate casts for this production, and I had the privilege of seeing the Friday night cast, which starred junior vocal performance major Jesica Santino as Martha. TU’s performance was a more modern English retelling of Friedrich von Flotow’s “Martha,” which premiered in Vienna in 1847 and quickly gained popularity in the world of opera. The version performed on campus was written by Marilyn Tyler and our own Brady McElligott, and it’s a romantic comedy full of terrible puns. The show begins with a powerful overture by the orchestra, which leads to the introduction of the character of Lady Harriet, a bored noblewoman living in 1920s England who decides to masquerade as a maidservant called “Martha” alongside her lady-in-waiting, Nancy (or “Julia”). Of course, things go wrong, and the pair ends up being hired and legally obligated to work for two men, who own a seaside resort and spa, and who end up falling in love with them! The cast was incredibly talented and funny, with gorgeous voices that were occasionally masked by the force of the orchestra. Santino was elegant and refined in the role of Lady Harriet and her piercing soprano voice filled the hall, often blending beautifully with that of mezzo-soprano

Katelyn Baker, who played Nancy. Asura Oulds, bass, and Wyatt Cobb, baritone, were hilarious, and broken-hearted tenor Zane Cawthon gave an emotional, profound performance. The women’s chorus was lively. Overall, the performance was energetic and exciting. I left satisfied and, as always, wondering how opera singers do it. During my time at TU, I’ve attended all of the opera performances as well as many of the vocal recitals, and it’s heartwarming to hear these singers grow and improve over time. This production could not have happened without Brady McElligott, TU’s director of opera, who has worked tirelessly over the past several months to coordinate the vocalists, the orchestra, sets, costumes, music and advertisement. He has years of experience working in music as a vocalist and pianist and has been a member of the TU music faculty since 2007. By directing operas starring university students, he helps to prepare these vocalists for future careers as performers and, in the grand scheme of things, to keep the art of opera present in the United States and around the world. At intermission, I ran down to the orchestra pit, where he was conducting, to talk to him about the performance, and he was so passionate about his work and excited that I would be reviewing the show. In a time when the fine arts are often ignored and underfunded in schools, TU’s opera theatre would love more attention from the student body. They’re done with performances for this semester but will be back with another opera in the fall and will be advertising it on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (@TUOperaTheatre). For centuries, opera has worked to tell human stories through music, and that’s something worth keeping alive.

“The cast was incredibly talented and funny, with gorgeous voices”

courtesy IMDb

Despite pacing issues, the remake of “A Wrinkle in Time” presents beautiful visuals and a strong storyline divergent from the 1962 children’s novel. Emma Palmer Apprentice Editor You know how everyone has a certain piece of media from their childhood, usually a book or a movie or a TV show, that they would obsess over and possess like it belonged to them and no one else? For me, that piece of media was Madeleine L’Engle’s novel “A Wrinkle in Time” I read the first sentence and immediately found a kindred spirit in Meg Murry, the book’s protagonist. Like Meg, I couldn’t sleep during thunderstorms, hated math and had a genius younger brother. Naturally, when Disney announced the book was getting a film adaptation, I was excited — and when they announced it would be directed by Ava DuVernay, I was ecstatic. The basic premise of “A Wrinkle in Time” follows Meg, a troubled, bespectacled teen, whose father, a scientist, has been missing for four years. Meg’s younger brother Charles Wallace, a six-year-old genius, pulls Meg, along with Calvin O’Keefe, a classmate of Meg, into a search for her father. The quest takes them to the farthest edges of the universe, where Meg confronts both the darkness of the universe and the darkness within herself. “A Wrinkle in Time” the movie is very different from “A Wrinkle in Time” the book, and in many ways, that is its greatest strength. The best film adaptations expound on the source material rather than treating it as a sacred text. This film gives a whole new layer of meaning to Meg’s character arc, by casting African-American actress Storm Reid in the role, and a whole new

layer of empowerment given when Oprah Winfrey, as an all-powerful celestial being, looks directly into her eyes and tells her she is beautiful. Although the movie tries its best to erase L’Engle’s Episcopal beliefs from the story, it does not succeed entirely. At the core of both works is the idea that radical love can redeem what was lost and save the world. That’s why the main characters are kids. Only kids would be naive enough to believe in that thread of hope. And for a whole two hours, the audience is placed within that mindset. It’s refreshing, but at the core of it, “A Wrinkle in Time” isn’t for cynical, world-weary adults; it’s for innocent, naiveenough-to-change-the-world kids. Children live life from moment to moment, and so does “A Wrinkle in Time.” The movie exists as a series of scenes, and while some soar visually, the film is uneven to say the least. Some scenes are extremely effective while others fall flat, missing important story beats. “A Wrinkle In Time” wanted to please everyone from the book purists to the casual moviegoer, and ultimately, that’s its biggest letdown. Pacing problems aside, every performance in “A Wrinkle In Time” is impeccable. Chris Pine solidifies his place as The Best of the Hollywood Chrises with a solid performance as Mr. Murry, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Mrs. Murry sells truckloads of emotions without needing to say a word. Visually, the movie is appealing but relies too much on the manufactured beauty of CGI rather than the beauty of well-composed images. “A Wrinkle in Time” the book gave me a world in which I saw myself; “A Wrinkle In Time” the movie gives the same to its young audience. It doesn’t hold the same cynical views adults are bound to, and lives in a world where hope is motivating and love is the transcending force. The more I reflect on it, the more I want to go see it again.

12 March 2018

Poetry reading featured TU student work

The event spotlighted 21 Tulsa poets in an engaging display of local talent.

TU Opera hosted lively performance of “A Wrinkle In Time” film captured child-like hope of novel “Thoroughly Modern Martha” The performance starred a talented TU cast that gave a powerful performance.


The Collegian: 14

read poetry for their very first time with the encouragement of Jenkins. Because of the sheer number of poets, it challenged them to be memorable or be forgotten. So many of the poets, such as Stacy Kidd and Crag Hill, would normally have stood out, at least when being read along on paper, but with the overwhelming number of performers and no way to read the poetry along with them, it became hard to differentiate between everyone. Lewis Freedman opened up the night with his lilting voice that helped carry the gravity of his statements at times, and at others, helped bring laughter with the juxtaposition of his tone and his words. One such example was when the fair-haired man sadly asked the audience, “Will they ever ask me to donate my eyebrows?” One of the next memorable poets of the night went a different direction than most toward the world of sci-fi. Xandra Kaste’s simple blue shift dress, black combat boots and a bob haircut mashed with her dynamic yet somehow robotic voice that fit perfectly with her dystopian themes. She created memorable lines by not relying on heavy

“It was an amazing display of talent from Tulsa” Regardless, it set the tone for the nontraditional art that was going to be read later that evening. Different degrees of experimental poetry and spoken word filled the night. Twentyone individuals read, ranging in age from college sophomores to retirees. Dr. Grant Jenkins, a creative writing professor at TU who gives off a slight dapper old hipster vibe, emceed the event, reading several of his own poems between the different performers he introduced. While the performers originated from different backgrounds, a few common themes of politics, Christianity, pop media, technology and the experimentation with word emerged. The blank, white-brick wall behind the poets lent itself as a canvas for the poets to paint whatever they saw fit in the ten or so minutes each poet spent. At least 10 to 15 of the speakers are current or past TU students, several of which

large words to weigh down her spoken words but instead played with ingenuity and well-placed, out-of-context clichés such as “Do not tap on the glass.” Another TU student, Adam Lux, wowed the audience with his first three poems called “Voice of My Father,” “Song Heard in Pews” and “Songs Heard in Basement.” They were sentimental and easy to relate to while still carrying that slight avant garde feel to them. Caleb Freeman, a former TU student, brought the first big bounds of laughter with his poem based off lines he found off Craigslist Missed Connections. Even though the vast majority of the audience polled admitted to never having visited that particular part of Craigslist, everyone related to the feeling of encountering creepy dating app profiles or witnessing movie-level stalkers or even the personal experience of sudden unexplainable feelings toward a random

stranger. I cringed during most of this piece, in sympathy to Freeman for knowing how he must have had to go through dozens of these thirsty posts for his poetry. One of the few non-TU affiliated poet of the night was Chad Reynolds, who kept it real and relevant by having at least three very politically charged poems, including “Amended Amendments Amended,” “Erasure of Chinese Exclusion” and “President Donald J Trump’s Inaugural Address in First Person Plural.” Reynolds took an-inyour-face approach, which worked well for his outwardly opinionated pieces. In the last one mentioned, he used a pretty spot-on impersonation of our president, adding to his piece even more. I desire to read more of his poetry after tonight, especially with the tease he did by only reading parts of his pieces to the audiences. Not many other poets left me with an active thirst to read more of their work in particular to the extent that he did. Brett Oliver was another breakout artist. He came at the encouragement of Dr. Jenkins, and while you could tell it was his first time reading aloud by his nervousness, he was easily one of my favorite performers of the night. His poem “Flatlined” featured a simple one-word-at-a-time style that went through the day of the narrator who was going through “heartache,” as said by the increasing repetition of the word. Both of his pieces showed a deep sense of underlying emotion and master of the language. Right after Oliver performed, Brennen Gray took the stage. Gray’s approach took a different turn, with his first poem sounding like a jumble of a somehow still-coherent free writing of a time he walked around for a long time, jotting down his thoughts along the way. This seemed to be a popular one, but not as much so as the engaging piece he did by asking his various friends to send him text messages just out of their predictive text feature on their phone. The audience again erupted into laughter about the theme of technology, which was appropriate given the exhibit that most attendees sauntered through before the show.Yet another TU student who nailed it was Thomas von Borstel. He followed the theme of technology and took tweets he found to create a hilarious entourage of relatable and comedic quotes, such as one Twitter user saying how they wanted to “be smothered by thick thighs.”

photo by Madison Connell

Pictured above is Dr. Grant Jenkins.

The final standout performance that I enjoyed was Brett Tyndall, another former Jenkins student, who wrote another political piece about “the redneck conservatives” and their “commandments,” and one piece that was chock full of memes that had the younger generation in tears but the older generation in attendance in complete confusion. Overall, it was an amazing display of talent from around the Tulsa and general Oklahoma area. It ran over an hour longer than the intended end time, and it was visible by probably a third of those in attendance having left by the end of the night. There should have either been several fewer performers, or a short, allotted time that everyone had to stick to. At the same time, it would have been hard to pick which of the performers to cut, as they all fit together so well. Despite the excessive length of the program, the show demonstrates an important role being formed in this community. Jenkins emphasized that he helped start this event with the purpose of advancing the “punk-ass poetry” scene in Tulsa. After all, Tulsa is becoming a big name for art, Jenkins claimed. With events like this, I am starting to believe him.

Congratulations to the following students who have been elected to membership in

Phi Beta Kappa

America’s Oldest and Most Prestigious Academic Honor Society Founded in 1776 Victoria Grace Burris Kyle Jackson Crutchfield Claire Elizabeth Dang Brettany Charlotte DeMier Savanna Michelle Deweese John Alex Garoffolo Jacqueline Nicole Boggs Holt Samuella Pearl Hottel Alexandra Marie Isaak Hannah Mae Kloppenburg Aaron Palmer Krusniak Elizabeth A. Lanham Emma Jeannette Lucus

Tejaswi Makkapati Micaela N. McGregor Sabrina Jane Monsees Hannah C. Montgomery Emma C. Moseley Eden Anastasia Opie Chaselyn D. Ruffaner-Hanson Ashley N. Slater Kyle R. Turner Hannah Jane Vissers Elly Jean Vosburgh Claire M. White Haley Elizabeth Williams

Phi Beta Kappa’s initiation ceremony will take place on Friday, May 4, 2018 at 5:30 p.m. in Sharp Chapel.

12 March 2018


The Collegian: 15

John Darnielle discussed music, recent novel

John Darnielle’s book reading for “Universal Harvester” detailed his personal relationship with writing to a large attendance. Ethan Veenker Variety Editor

The turnout to John Darnielle’s book reading was large — perhaps larger than Magic City Books was expecting. By the time I showed up, the Algonquin Room, in which the event took place, was full. Devoid of seating, I decided to stand in the back. I counted 52 heads within the room and at least half that funneled toward the front of the store by the end of the night, all craning their heads to see Darnielle. John Darnielle is a novelist, known for his gripping debut, “Wolf in White Van,” which was nominated for the National Book Award, and his recent, chilling sophomore follow-up, “Universal Harvester.” Both novels are “New York Times” bestsellers. He is also known for fronting the folk band the Mountain Goats since 1991 and recording 16 studio albums. It isn’t fair to say he’s just a part of the band, however, as Darnielle pretty much is the Mountain Goats. His new novel, set in Iowa in the ‘90s, is a sort of horror-mystery involving a video store in which some tapes came back with new, cryptic footage interpolated over the film. The characters of the story take it upon themselves to figure out what’s going on. He opened the night by reading us a short, comedic sample from a book he’s currently reading, remarking that he never reads living authors. The book, whose name either I missed or he didn’t provide, comes from 17th-century England and, according to Darnielle, is from where we have most of our biographical information on Shakespeare. He then read an enticing sample from “Universal Harvester” before the dis-

course began, between himself and Tulsa Literary Coalition founder Jeff Martin. Of course, the first bits of discussion related to the Mountain Goats, with the band being such a central presence in Darnielle’s life. I doubt anyone was there that hadn’t heard of them. Still, in the context of Darnielle’s life, the band actually took a while to take off and become its own entity. “I really don’t wanna impose on anybody,” Darnielle explained to a laughing crowd, eliciting an image of a solitary artist, DIY-recording songs by themselves. This didn’t stray far from the truth, but Darnielle had his foot in the music industry early on. He wrote four album reviews a month — pretty good money at the time, according to him — and had an early website and zine that he curated. Eventually, he was invited to write an entry in the “33 1/3” series of books, a sort of multi-genre series that looks at various albums from different perspectives. His was a fictional story regarding Black Sabbath’s “Masters of Reality.” From there, his future agent contacted him, telling him he liked what he’d read and would be interested in reading more of Darnielle’s work. Eventually, his agent sold the first six chapters of what would become “Wolf in White Van,” making Darnielle “obligated” to finish the novel, as he put it. “Universal Harvester” takes some stylistic departure from its predecessor notably in the more relaxed prose style. Darnielle waned the new novel to be less “pyrotechnic” than “Wolf in White Van.” The latter was gripping, filled with a latent anxiety in such a manner that Darnielle admits he “didn’t want you to put that book down.” “Universal Harvester,” being more outlined and meticulous than his previous novel, is his work at a more mind-prodding, thoughtful piece. As for his process, Darnielle stressed immediately that he hated hearing someone else read his work out loud. He figured if it had any business being read aloud within

earshot of him, it was he who would be doing the reading. He also has a small circle of people with whom he shares his unpublished work, namely his wife, who gets to read everything he writes. “Fiction is where I live,” Darnielle declared later in the night. “I’m always working stuff; I always work.” He meant this not solely in a literary sense, as his songs often take a narrative form as well, almost each one forming as a story, fictional or not. But of all his stories, “Wolf in White Van” is the first to have been adapted as a screenplay and successfully sold to a studio, namely Sundance Labs. Darnielle has no creative control over any prospective film once it begins production, if it begins production, but he assures us that a very high percentage of screenplays sold to Sundance Labs are brought to the big screen. “Books are so superior to film,” he assured us, adding, “You can’t even quantify it.” After the discussion, the floor opened to a Q&A, the first several questions of which related to Darnielle’s experience with tabletop RPG games, a point he mentioned briefly within the previous discussion. Beyond that, he was asked if his past experience working at mental health clinics had helped to inspire some of his characters. Darnielle admitted that his characters were certainly worthy of a stay in a mental health clinic, but that during his time working at one, he never got into the patients’ heads to learn what made them tick. Being a nurse, he merely made a treatment plan and went through with it. A few other questions related to his songwriting. “I write songs all the time, I could write them in a warzone,” Darnielle assured the crowd, telling us that it took him between one and four hours to get a feel on a new song. In response to a question regarding his word choice, Darnielle said, “I write sentences. Some people don’t write sentences,

they write stories, and they get a lot of help getting their sentences together.” This is something of a battle in the literature scene, between prose and plot, and it is most preferable for an author like Darneille to synthesize the two pieces, in turn creating an authentic piece of literature. Darnielle ended the night by recounting his experience recording the audiobooks for his novels, claiming, “It was days and they’re long days,” and by assuring us he would never write an album to release alongside a novel, as “it would feel like a gimmick.” “Universal Harvester” and “Wolf in White Van” are available from Picador in paperback now, and the Mountain Goats’s music can be found on any major music retail or streaming service.

courtesy Picador

“Universal Harvester” has a notable ‘90s aesthetic.

TAF Writer’s Salon a varied literary experience Featuring readings from two experimental translators and a poet, the most recent iteration of Tulsa Artist Fellowship’s Writer’s Salon took a different direction. Trenton Gibbons News Editor The theme of last Wednesday’s Writer’s Salon, hosted by the Tulsa Artist Fellowship and featuring Literary Arts Fellows from the program, was “Translation.” As such, two of the performing Fellows were translators, though all three can be said to deal with language with interesting ways. The Writer’s Salon was hosted in the Tulsa Central Library, with TU professor Dr. Grant Jenkins speaking between each reading. Eric Ekstrand opened the event with more than a few unique works of poetry, but the ones that I most remember include a poem “A Letter to a Friend” — which compared their friendship to the reconstruction of the Parthenon in Nashville — a poem in praise of an Octopus who escapes its tank, and a lovingly detailed and somehow romantic piece describing the conditions of Antonin Scalia’s body when he was discovered to be deceased (on Valentine’s Day, no less). Ekstrand spoke often of the inspiration behind his stories, as most of his poems

seemed to creative nonfiction. The most startling case of this for me was a work about a church’s annual tradition of handing out chicks dyed different colors for Easter. The dye doubled as a poison, to ensure the families who simply want the chick for a couple of days do not have to take care of it forever, so the chicks died on a holiday meant to celebrate rebirth. M. L. Martin next read from work of her own, an experimental translation of Old English. This is the blurriest section of the night for me, but it was intended to be so, I think. She performed her own translation of an ancient piece titled, “Autobiography of Wolf,” and was accompanied by a man who’d place her hand over her mouth during the censured or redacted bits of her poem. These moments made me as uncomfortable as the rest of the piece made me curious; one or two times his hand covered her mouth longer than I’d expected, and even seeing her feigned struggle put me at unease. No doubt this was an intended effect of the performance. Also worth noting was the way Martin made her work bilingual. It was not totally translated to English, but her smooth pronunciation of foreign language made the piece flow as if it were written in one tongue. Finally, Rhett McNeil presented his translation of the work of Goncalo M. Tavares, a Portuguese writer. McNeil described himself as being “in conversation” with Tava-

res, translating his works and responding to them with his own writings. From Taveres’s work, I remember most a piece comparing the person with an unshaped and untested morality to a girl afraid to join a dancing crowd at a party. McNeil had an abundance of Tavares’s work translated and read much of it. He later noted that Tavares’s work hardly builds to anything climactic; it is instead as if each piece exists singularly, without the ones that precede it. His literary response to Tavares was a short piece of fiction, a story of two lovers in a car that focused on the minutiae and memories of their lives rather than the current moment in time.

At the end of the event, the three artists addressed questions from the audience. Most questions had to do with the process of translation, and these yielded plenty of interesting answers. Responding to the question of “do you take artistic liberties when you are translating from another language?” McNeil answered, “Hell yes.” A bit more revelatory of a comment came later when one of the artists said, “two different translations could be done of the same work, have different meanings, and still be simultaneously correct.”

courtesy Tulsa Artist Fellowship

The event, open to the public, filled up with curious Tulsans and TAF Fellows alike.

Affordable places for one-day spring break trips

Spring break is often a financially stressful time, so here’s a list of affordable, close-by locations for a good daycation. Emma Palmer Apprentice Editor

Sequoyah State Park Drive Time from Tulsa: Less than an hour. Phone: (918) 772-2046 Hours Of Operation: The park is open 24/7, though certain activities may have specific hours. Cost: Admission to the park free is free; food prices and recreational activities vary. Why You Should Visit: Located on Gibson Lake, Sequoyah State Park is one of Oklahoma’s best state parks. Visitors can enjoy hiking, the nature center, fishing, trail rides, golfing and — wait for it — golf. Woolaroc Drive Time from Tulsa: Less than an hour.

Phone: (918) 336-0307 Website: Hours of Operation: Wednesday through Sunday, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Cost: $12 admission fee. Why You Should Visit: The Woolaroc museum and wildlife preserve has long been a staple of Tulsans’ childhood field trips, but it’s well worth the revisit. Highlights include the “Animal Barn,” bison, a massive art collection and shrunken heads.

Tallgrass Prairie Drive Time from Tulsa: An hour-and-ahalf. Phone: (918) 287-4803 Hours of Operation: From dawn to dusk. Cost: Free. Why You Should Visit: Oklahoma is home to the largest protected tallgrass prairie on earth. The Tallgrass Prairie once spanned across fourteen states, but only four percent of what originally existed still stands today. Visiting the prairie is like going back in time — a look at what Oklahoma was like in its undisturbed, bison-filled glory. Great Salt Plains State Park

Drive Time from Tulsa: Two-and-a-half hours. Phone: (580) 626-4730 Hours of Operation: 8 a.m. – 4 p.m. every day. Cost: Free. Why You Should Visit: A long time ago, the entirety of Oklahoma was submerged under water, and the Great Salt Plains State Park stands as a reminder of that fact. The lake where the Great Salt Plains is located contains salt left from the ocean during prehistoric times! If you squint hard enough, you can pretend you’re at Palm Beach. Bricktown Drive Time from Tulsa: An hour-and-ahalf. Phone: (405) 236-4143 Website: Hours of Operation: Varies. Cost: Varies. Why You Should Visit: Everyone knows Tulsa is cooler than OKC, but if you’re looking to explore a little, the Bricktown district in Oklahoma City is a good place to do it. Similar to the Tulsa Arts District, Bricktown is a district chock full of things to explore.

On the way there, be sure to stop at Pops, an old-timey soda shop that’s an Oklahoma icon. Crystal Bridges Museum of Art Drive Time from Tulsa: Two hours. Phone: (479) 418-5700 Website: Hours of Operation: Saturday and Sunday 10 a.m. – 6 p.m., Monday 11 a.m. – 6 p.m., and Wednesday through Friday 11 a.m. – 9 p.m. Cost: Free. Why You Should Visit:Founded in 2005 by the Walton Family Foundation, Crystal Bridges is a world-renowned art museum featuring art from Georgia O’Keefe, Mary Cassatt and Norman Rockwell. There’s even an art piece made entirely of candy, and yes, you are invited to eat it. Additionally, the entire town of Bentonville, Arkansas, is charming, with nature trails, a really good coffee shop and the 21c Hotel, a hotel that doubles as an art museum.

The Collegian: 16

12 March 2018

12 March 2018

The State-Run Media

Trump and Kim Jong Un to settle differences in cage match

The two beloved politicians will settle their disputes like men next week. Brennan Gray Has $30 on KJU

Promotional graphic for the much anticipated Trump vs Un fight.

graphic by Madeline Woods

Trump bans “here’s how Bernie can still win” memes

In the wake of his divisive executive order, Trump himself could face jail time for making Bernie memes. Adam Lux Head Propagandist

“I’m not sure if I’m happy or infuriated,” said former Senator, First Lady and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “Like, it’s definitely a violation of freedom of speech, but also it validates my personal feelings of pain and injustice.” Clinton responded to the news that President Donald Trump signed an executive order last Wednesday forbidding the “creation, reproduction or transmission of any meme adhering to or referencing the ‘here’s how Bernie can still win’ archetype.” These memes, popular after the 2016 election, detailed crazy, often satirical situations in which Bernie Sanders could take the presidency away from Donald Trump. Many experts thought these memes died months ago; however, it appears Special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into possible Russian meddling in the 2016 election has sparked a second wave. “This is probably the biggest blow to meme culture in history,” said Dr. Greg Goodman, a professor of communications at TU who specializes in memes. Goodman continued, “The strength of memes has always been directly related to their lack of censorship. Whereas normal media like television or radio has regulatory rules and editing staffs, memes are not subjected to any sort of regulation, be it of content or quality.” This executive order, despite many decrying its oppressive nature, is possibly Trump’s most popular.

The Collegian: 17

“Those memes are so annoying,” said TU political science student Marcy Mae. “They promote a culture of imagining an alternate reality to avoid making any meaningful action to better our reality.” The “Bernie Ban,” as many have taken to calling it, lays out a mandatory minimum punishment of life in prison without parole along with a personalized Trump tweet mocking the offender. The executive order also creates a special task force, named Meme Team 6, whose primary job is to hunt down Bernie meme producers and distributors and bring them to justice. It appears the first person to be prosecuted under the new law might be one of the President’s own staff members or even Trump himself. Sources claim that Meme Team 6 has recently discovered that Internet activity from the creator and operator of the popular website www.howberniecanwin. gov is attributed to an IP address connected to the White House. Speculation has run wild since this news broke. Many claim the perpetrator is Melania Trump, whereas others say it must be John Kelly. A small yet vocal minority are claiming Donald Trump is the culprit. This last theory is especially popular on the site in question. Members of the site are pouring out even more Bernie memes — this time involving Trump being jailed for making Bernie memes — than ever before, without any fear of repercussions. “We can’t hide as those in power try to destroy our passion, that which we hold dearest. Bernie wouldn’t have given in and neither will we. We’ll take this all the way to the Supreme Court if we have to,” said user Voted4Stein69.

“This is probably the biggest blow to meme culture in history”

After much deliberation, world leaders have decided that Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump will fight in a cage-match. Both parties agreed to conduct the match during their diplomatic talks about nuclear disarmament. “I mean, even if neither of them dies, at least the world will be rid of them for a few hours,” explained Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany. The world’s two favorite leaders are already prepping for the big fight. It is still to be determined where the fight will take place but provided is a serious breakdown of their strengths. D-Twiddly needs no introduction. He won second place in the 2016 presidential election popular vote. The Trumpser has been perfecting his moves for the match. Most recently he put the finishing touches on his Twitter-Twister, in which he puts his opponent in a headlock and reads the victim his Tweets. The last five test victims suffered death; one from suffocation and four from suicide. Russia has taken notice of Trump’s prowess in the ring. “I told him if he wins, then we can finally be best friends,” said President Putin. The Don once beat up the CEO of WWE in 2009, giving him about three and a half minutes more professional wrestling time than political experience prior to his election. Trump seems pretty confident about his odds. “We beat their country in WWII and the Vietnam War. America will prevail. Also I want only real news programs like Fox to cover me. All those Fake News commies must be on the other guy’s side. And if you are one, APOLOGIZE.” Trump wanted to go on longer, but he was nearing his character limit.

Wrestling experts say Donald “Agent Orange” Trump has an edge against his North Korean counterpart. The Kim Jong Nuke made his first appearance on the world stage by becoming the fourth most famous dictator in recent memory. As the leader of what the world widely considers the second best Korean country, his power is untold (except by his propaganda machine). Given his stature, he makes a formidable opponent to DJT, and thus freedom. The stout man puts the tater in dictator. He has the only 100-percent approval rating in the world. At the world leaders meeting, Xi Jinping of China weighed in on the North Korean’s odds. “If Un wins, we still get their cheap resources. If they lose, we can just invade them while their Supreme Leader is weak. We can’t lose!” In his move repertoire, he holds the Prison-Camp Stamp, the Propaganda Pretzel, and the Secret Weapon. Speculation rises on what his secret weapon may be. Americans fears that it may be nuclear powered. North Koreans believe that it must come from the power of a god. Whatever the case, the Rocketman himself delivered his thoughts on the upcoming event. “I learned everything I know about American sports from their president, Dennis Rodman,” said Un last Wednesday. Another important factor in the fight is age. Trump was 70 years old when he was elected, and it feels like he has been president for about 200 years, for a grand total of 270. This makes Trump about 234 years older than KJU, which is almost long enough to serve an average sentence in a North Korean Prison camp. You can live-stream the match online on Watching the North Korean coverage may prove difficult, as their broadcasts say Kim Jong Un has already beaten Trump shortly after winning the NBA slam dunk contest.

“I told him if he wins, then we can finally be best friends” On-campus speakeasy run by Campo The more alcohol the better, say undercover Campus Security officers. All names have been changed to protect the identities and location of the participants. Thomas von Borstel Is definitly not a narc Slowly, we wind our way down the tucked-away stairs in a crevice of Kniz Hall. Leading me, I have Sam, a Campus Security Officer, First-Class. His pomaded hair skims the ceiling of the low, dark room we are currently preparing in. “Here, wear this,” he says as he hands me a black tie. Wrapping the tie around my neck, I ask, “Why do I need this?” “You’ll see.” To the average student, this place seems an inconspicuous spot on campus, a location where only the physical plant employees wander every once in a blue moon to check some gauge. After we left the dark room, Officer Zach approached a small door with a peep-hole in it. He knocked rhythmically, so habitually and swiftly that I could never have replicated the act. What met my eyes was hard to believe. Booze, gambling and many unmentionable nefarious acts flashed before my eyes like a montage of “Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Great Gatsby.” Zach grabbed me by the sleeve and dragged me to the counter and then whispered in my ear, “Don’t act like such a greenhorn, or we’ll both get the boot.” He knocked on the bar and shouted over the cacophony of the establishment, “Two house vodka specials; light on the special, heavy on the vodka!” To my astonishment, the parking lady turned around and handed me my drink with

a smile. “Welcome, I hope you find everything to your satisfaction.” I almost berated her for forcing me to take a razor blade to my window to get off the stupid orange sticker she vandalized it with, but I held my tongue for cool, silent journalism’s sake. This is the Campus Officer Hurricane Club, known colloquially as the C.O.-Cane Club. Run by this university’s finest, the speakeasy helps pad their budget and, they believe, does a great service to students. One officer, who will stay unnamed, explained, “We just think that students should be free to drink anything on school property without the threat of some absurd fine. They already pay the university tuition; why shouldn’t we attend to one of the most necessary faculties of the college education?” One must pull their strings to get into this exclusive club, but once you are in, there is no turning back. “Yeah, screw parties! Dude, I come here every night of the week. They have this incredible house-made stuff; gets you ripped,” said a male student dressed in a tweed jacket and corduroy pants. One student, with a bob-cut and sparkling dress, who was shooting dice with a member of the administration, told me, “Coming to this place … it’s an oasis in this desert; not that campus is dry … it just needs more alcohol!” It is very common to go by a pseudonym in this establishment. One student who called themselves Magnum Hawkfire explained that “age doesn’t matter in this place,” adding, “It’s about the students. This place just cares about the students. No other university has such a community; I am so glad I chose TU!” It all felt so natural as people sipped their liquors and conversed about amphetamines, sports gambling and their past physics exams. If there is ever an opportunity to visit this secret society, take the opportunity. Maybe you’ll find that security officers are not that bad after all.

“Students should be able to drink on school property without the threat of some absurd fine”

Photo of the underground speakeasy run by Campus Security.

graphic by Conner Maggio

The State-Run Media

12 March 2018


State-Run media Clancy’s favorite newspaper.

Space for positive affirmations

Never ever would The Collegian censor The State-Run Media. Never ever had this space been occupied by an article deemed ‘dangerous’ by latenight editors. Never ever would a decision like this be made without the Head Propagandist’s knowledge. Write nice things about yourself here. Your Name Here Looking pretty good, if you do say yourself

This man took away your healthcare, what happens next will warm your heart! The lack of healthcare will have you literally dying. Conner Maggio Youthful Optimist You break out in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, your breath short and your head foggy. You look at your phone, the time is 5:47 AM, you have work at 9:00 AM and you cannot be late for the big meeting, or John will get the promotion instead of you, you hate John. He thinks he is better than you, and so do your employers. But this is your chance to prove them wrong, but the feeling in your head won’t go away. Stumbling out of bed, you wander to your bathroom mirror, a slight pain creeps into your chest. You can’t go to the doctor, it would cost more money than you have in your savings account. But most things cost more than $20. “That’s just how living paycheck to paycheck goes” you think after checking your bank account. You try to shrug off the feeling, a cup of coffee and a donut make you feel a little more alive. Your hands feel cold and clammy, “it’s the nerves” you think to yourself. As work approaches your heart starts to beat harder and faster, “maybe the coffee was a bad idea” you say, trying to rationalize the fear away, but you know that you do not feel normal. But you also know that just an ambulance

is enough to bankrupt you, much less a stay in the hospital. As always, economic anxiety plagues you. When you headed off for college you thought your high paying undergrad degree would help, but rent just went up again and you can’t stay with your parents ever again. As you start the car, your back and shoulders start to ache. The drive to work was as bad as ever. The highway was completely full of cars at a standstill. NPR is your only friend on this trip. Today the radio speaks about the rising cost of healthcare in the United States, and how many hard-working Americans got their healthcare taken away for someone else’s political gain. It hits too close to home, so you switch to a pop station to ease your stresses. You finally arrive at work, feeling even worse than before. Your breath has gotten shorter and shorter as time passes, the stair climb felt like a marathon. The walk to your cubicle, a sprint. Finally as you sit down at your chair and frantically prepare for your presentation, your chest ache develops into intense pain, a tight ache overcomes the area. You are nauseous, your stomach is doing somersaults as you try to calm yourself. The anxiety and sweating is not going away. These few minutes feel like an eternity. Your heart skips every other beat. You are not able to move anything above your chest without extreme discomfort. You try to cry for help, but the pain prevents you from speaking. Moments later your boss comes in to find you half-conscious on the floor, she checks your pulse and rushes towards your phone to call an ambulance.

“He thinks he is better than you, and so do your employers. But this is your chance to prove him wrong...” Photo of Carter going 0 to 60 in 2.5 seconds.

graphic by Conner Maggio

TU student pulled over by Campo for speeding on wheelchair

TU student Margret Carter got out of a speeding ticket by having a wheelie contest with the officer who pulled her over. Madison Connell Wheelchair drag racer Carter said she was talking to her engineering student friends when she told them about her disappointing wheelchair specs. “It was such a disheartening moment,” said Carter’s friend and ENS student Rory Bolt. “Her wheelchair would only go threepoint-five miles an hour. We knew we had to do something.” Carter’s friends decided to pimp her ride. Their first challenge was to fix the max speed. Bolt remarked, “after we figured out how to take off the governor, it was easy. Who knew wheelchairs have a secret turbo setting?” Sources give differing reports as to what

that new max speed truly is. Bolt humbly claimed it could go up to forty-five miles an hour, while another anonymous source stated that they once saw Carter going upward of sixty down Delaware. Her friends ignored her request to paint flames onto her wheelchair. “We’re ENS students, not art students. Why paint flames

friends was a hidden snack compartment, complete with a toaster oven. Campus Security officer Rebecca Lawson pulled over Carter last Monday doing 40 in a 25. The two got into a heated debate about the logistics of the law. Carter reportedly argued, “Where does it say in the handbook that wheelchairs count as motor vehicles?”

“Who knew wheelchairs had a secret turbo setting?” when we can just add real ones?” Bolt asked. The concerned friends retrofitted a train horn onto the device. Before, there was a quiet, high pitched horn, which apparently was often mistaken for a mouse squeak. There is no mistaking the horn now. Sources say that students in Keplinger can hear it all the way from Mayo. One of the final touches added by Carter’s

Lawson also fined her for the flames, saying it clearly constituted as a fire hazard. “There are, like, literal flames coming out of it,” Lawson said. Campus security reported that the last straw was Carter’s custom-made cup holder. “Heck, I don’t even get one of those,” Lawson mumbled. The two made a deal. Whoever made

the sickest wheelie would get their way. If Carter gets the most air time, she would get away from paying any fines; if Lawson wins, Carter has to get her boring old mouse squeak wheelchair back. The competition happened last Friday, March 9. All he engineering students who helped pimp out the wheelchair, as well as all of the campus security officers, came to witness the showdown. “I haven’t been this excited since we got a Hurtz,” said one officer in attendance. It was a close call, but surprisingly Lawson pulled ahead for the lead. Instead of asking for the fines being paid, however, Lawson decided to come to a compromise with Carter: so long as Carter kept below 25 miles per hour on campus, and showed Lawson her sweet wheelie techniques, she could keep her rad new vehicle. Everyone in attendance celebrated by taking the party to Hurtz, Campus Security’s treat.

12 March 2018  
12 March 2018