a student newspaper of the University of Tulsa
New TU provost interviewed, page 2
February 7, 2022 - Issue 14 - Volume 107
y:
b ver
y Am
ich
v lo
Po
Co
Tom Brady retires from football after 22 years, page 3 Catholic Church reconciles Tribal relations, page 5 Snow days an important opportunity, page 6 Satire: I found myself studying abroad, page 8
News
The Collegian: 2
7 February 2022
George Justice interviewed on becoming new provost In the interview, Justice said he plans to make “a positive difference” at TU. Shelby Hiens News Editor On Jan. 18, President Brad Carson announced that the search for a new provost was over. George Justice has been appointed as the University of Tulsa’s next provost and executive vice president for academic affairs beginning July 1.
es, and part of the provost’s job is to bring talented faculty, staff, and students to campus,” he added. Justice also expressed interest in improving TU’s academic potential. He said, “I am hopeful that in concert with President Carson’s vision for the university and working with the faculty, we’ll both improve the current offerings and create new academic programs that serve students. TU has a nearly unique mix of strong liberal arts programs and professional programs with a small student body that can take advantage of all of it.”
“‘What’s daunting is the expectations that the university rightly has for the job I will do.’” Justice received a bachelor’s degree in English at Wesleyan University followed by a master’s degree and doctorate at the University of Pennsylvania. He specializes in 18th century British literature and is considered a distinguished scholar of Jane Austen. Justice is currently an English professor at Arizona State University. He previously served as dean of humanities and associate vice president for arts and humanities in the university’s College of Liberal Arts and Sciences from 2013 to 2017. Before his deanship at the Arizona state school, Justice was a member of the English faculty at the University of Missouri, where he served as vice provost for advanced studies and dean of the Graduate School from 2010 to 2013. Justice also taught at the University of Pennsylvania, Marquette University and Louisiana State University prior to joining the University of Missouri in 2002. I reached out to Justice in an email to get his thoughts on the provostship and TU. When asked about his goals for the position, the new provost expressed his desire to “support the faculty and staff who create such an incredible learning environment for the students at TU.” He said that he planned to lead with “collaboration” as his primary tactic. “We’ll have a lot of conversations: with faculty, with staff, with the university leadership, with community stakeholders. Change is dependent on talent and resourc-
With the struggle and division True Commitment incited in 2019 that caused the university’s faculty to vote no confidence in former president and provost, Gerard Clancy and Janet Levit respectively, students are curious to see how Justice will measure up in the coming semester. True Commitment was a reorganization plan that proposed to make budget cuts and eliminate 40% of the academic programs TU offers. When asked if he felt heading TU’s academia is a daunting task, he responded, “Yes—not because I don’t feel up to it, but because the university’s students, staff, and faculty deserve a provost who can lead with vision—and also competently manage the complexity of the academic enterprise at the university. What’s daunting is the expectations that the university rightly has for the job I will do.” He said that the provost search committee described the university as “an institution with a combination of nationally recognized programs and a general excellence that is looking for re-energization after a couple of complicated years.” Justice also expanded on his outside perspective of the on-campus struggles, saying they “resulted… from a clash among people who were, and are, all deeply committed to the institution. TU is, in my view, in a very strong strategic position in the landscape of American higher education… People see the university’s academic excellence and large
endowment and believe, as I do, that there is potential to do things differently, and better, than any university in the country.” However, Justice also said, “It will be a relief to work at TU, where I’ll be expected (and will want) to get to know nearly everyone on campus.” ASU has a total enrollment of over 134,500 students as of fall 2021, whereas TU has a total enrollment of 3,837 students. Justice acknowledged this overwhelming difference and explained that “ASU is optimized for scale, and much of my work was to keep things personalized while serving the immense number of students.” Justice accepted the provost position because he believes in making “a positive difference, not only for people who are on campus now, but for the many thousands who will come to campus over the next few
decades.” He found that his “firm commitment to academic excellence is shared by everyone” including President Carson, the Board of Trustees and staff members he met as he toured campus. Justice also said that “Someone who works in the student center went a half hour out of her way to get me a cup of coffee that I really wanted prior to one of my big interviews! That kind of personal care was amazing.” As for moving to Tulsa, Justice said “The city seems amazing… I am in awe of the commitment of residents to Tulsa, and its cultural opportunities are unparalleled for a city of its size. I am very excited to move to Tulsa this summer!” When Justice begins his duties at the start of the fall semester, he hopes that “students will take the time to meet with me and let me know what’s on their minds.”
courtesy utulsa.edu Justice is currently a professor at Arizona State University and will begin his provost duties on July 1.
Executive candidates outline the future of SA in press conference The election consists of four candidates running unopposed for leadership roles within Student Association. Shelby Hiens News Editor Student Association is responsible for allocating funding for organizations, chartering new organizations, advocating for student interests, representing the student body and planning events. There are three branches of the association: executive, judicial and senate. While every student at TU is considered a member of SA, those who are elected to positions are distinguished as SA Leadership. On Feb. 3, a virtual press conference was held over Zoom to interview the executive candidates and preview their platforms and agendas for SA. The conference was organized by Caroline Williams, Director of Membership for the association. This semester, there are only four candidates running for executive positions. Justin Yang is running for president, Asa Scott for vice president, Sarah Tran for secretary and Campbell Rogerson for treasurer. Justin Yang is a biochemistry major on the pre-dental track and the current secretary of SA. The junior described his platform with a focal point on connection and communication between students, SA and administration to “enjoy and value the things that come out of Student Association on a deeper level.” Yang said that a prominent issue he wants to address is the disconnect between
the student body and SA. He stated, “TU is definitely a place where the social aspect from the university can definitely grow. One of my biggest plans to work on that is potentially creating… [an] executive cabinet position.” Yang plans on “creating a Director of Public Relations” who’s role would be “to interact with students on a personal level.” He added that “A Director of Public Relations… could really work closely with the Director of Organizational Outreach to reach presidents of organizations and meet with them and really emphasize the different things that can be done through SA or through their own [organizations] with the help of SA.”
president’s main responsibilities is leading the senate. He said, “I want to see better student to senator representation” and ensure that “we have actual issues… coming from the students to be discussed on the Senate floor.” Scott also wants to work towards “a far more student facing SA leadership” and “more cohesion” within their ranks. Sarah Tran is a clinical psychology major that is minoring in speech pathology and gender studies, currently serving as a clerk in the judicial branch. As she is a freshman who joined SA last semester, she recognized that her “experience has not been quite as extensive” as the other candidates, but that her position in judicial has trained her to
“Another goal of the executive candidates is to host a Springfest that is ‘a lot more interactive for students ...’” Asa Scott is a political science and chemistry major on the pre-law track, currently serving as the Government Operations Committee chair in SA. Scott expressed interest in a “far more diverse representation in Student Association” as part of his platform. The junior acknowledged that SA represents many groups and communities on campus currently, but he would “still like to see that grow… especially with more non-greek members because… that is a decent concentration of Student Association membership.” Scott said he has been a senator for three years and that one of the vice
The election will begin Feb. 16 at 9 a.m. and end Feb. 17 at 9 p.m.
courtesy utulsa.edu
have a “very observant ear.” Tran said that she plans to “improve intra-SA communication… to make a more unified team” as well as “promote more communication between SA and the student body itself” as she described her platform. As secretary, Tran said her core responsibilities would be “keeping minutes and staying on track of all the archives for SA and posting those minutes online and making sure that everyone keeps attendance with meetings.” Campbell Rogerson is an accounting major with a minor in sports management and the current Director of Marketing for SA. As part of his platform, Rogerson said he wanted to focus on “simplify[ing] the OSP [Organizational Strategic Plan] process a little bit more because I know it can be… a hectic time and rules change all the time.” He also expressed interest in being “fiscally responsible with the funds that are given to us.” Rogerson stated that “for the past several years… everyone [has been] a good financial steward of the money, and I would hope to continue that trend.” The junior said he plans on “making the Shared Services Center work a little bit better… I just know this year in specific with Shared Services, there have been some hiccups” with communication of rules. Another goal of the executive candidates is to host a Springfest that is “a lot more in-
teractive for students, whether it’s… more events or smaller events that more students can attend,” according to Yang. He said, “One thing that I really would like to do… [is] actually have students vote for the artist. I don’t know if that’s super super viable, but I would love to work with the cabinet to get a little bit more of an idea rather than voting for just the genre of music that they like.” Scott added that SA has “some very experienced senior cabinet members that are taking the lead on Springfest and they’re super excited for it.” When the candidates were asked about making SA information more accessible to the student body, Scott took the lead. “The senators are not communicating with their constituents… I think a big reason why that is is it’s a consequence of the pandemic… I think it’s very important that we have students, or, senators that are actually going out and reestablishing that connection with people that live in whatever residence hall they represent or the College of Business or ENS [College of Engineering and Natural Sciences], et cetera and are making those connections appear again,” Scott stated. Rogerson elaborated on the Student Association Hub that was created over break to “help make these resources a lot more easily accessible to students.” When Yang was asked how he planned to respond to issues affecting students such as the catalytic converter thefts that have been occurring on campus, he responded with, “as a Student Association, we’re in charge of kind of rallying the students and really hearing y’all’s voices and conveying that to the administration.” He added, “I personally will not be patrolling the parking lots making sure no one is nabbing catalytic converters but I will do my best to encourage students and the student body to relay and convey that message to the administration… I personally would love to do something about that in terms of communication with the administration and actually getting something to happen, but I can’t promise anything tangible from Student Association.” The executive election will begin Feb. 16 at 9 a.m. and end on Feb. 17 at 9 p.m. Students can vote on Harvey by pulling up organizations then Student Association, where a vote option will be presented. Once the election is open, a ballot will be available for students to submit their votes.
Sports
7 February 2022
The Collegian: 3
Tulsa women’s basketball falls to Houston During a dominant season, Tulsa loses a close game to Houston, says sports editor Callie Hummel
The University of Tulsa women’s basketball team put on a good show Feb. 2 for the fans that showed up despite the severe weather outside. The game was initially supposed to hold a celebration for National Women in Sports day where they honor the players, coaches and alumni who made the team what it is today. The snow outside though postponed the ceremony, but the women indoors still continued with their game. Temira Poindexter, a freshman forward on the team who has been crucial to their winning record this season, put up a onegame-high of 20 points. Prior to the game, Poindexter was named the American Athletic Conference freshman of the week,
going back and forth between the two teams for the duration of the time left. At a crucial point when the clock was rapidly winding down, Tulsa’s Maya Mayberry scored a layup to put Tulsa ahead 64-63 with 18 seconds left. After holding a timeout, Houston came back strong on offense and with just a few seconds on the clock, with a rebound shot allowing Houston to win the game 6564. Losing is not a feeling that the Tulsa team knows well though, as they currently hold a 13-5 overall record. Their recent loss against Houston marks the only time in their season where they’ve lost two games in a row, having fallen to Cincinnati just a few days prior.
“Losing is not a feeling that the Tulsa team knows well ...” which brought the tally of her accolades up to six in the 11 weeks of the season. She has shown range in all aspects of the game, with high shooting percentages but also high rebounding statistics. While Tulsa’s team led the majority of the game, Houston slowly started closing the lead during the second half of the game, until the two teams were just one point apart. A basket by Houston switched them into the lead, and the ball, and score, kept
Like Poindexter, many other players on the team are receiving personal accolades and recognition for their work on the court. Wyvette Mayberry is currently holding the position of most points scored on the team with 248 and was recognized on Jan. 27 for having the highest three-point shot percentage in the nation at 50%. Her sister, Maya Mayberry is right below in points with 195. The team as a whole is also nationally recognized and ranked for having the second-
courtesy @TUWBasketball on Twitter
highest number of three-pointers. They are currently 3-5 in their conference, though all games Tulsa has lost in their conference have been back and forth scoring with a final that could have gone either way. The next game will be on Feb. 6 at Wichita, before returning home on Feb. 12 against Temple to celebrate National Women in Sports Day. At halftime, Alicia Con-
ner-Todd, a former basketball player in the late 1970s, will be recognized for her contribution to sports. Connor-Todd also received her bachelor’s and master’s in nursing at the University of Tulsa. She is now a member of Tulsa’s Letterwinner’s Association and the Athletic Hall of Fame Committee.
Tom Brady officially retires from football After 22 years, the Buccaneers quarterback finally leaves the NFL, says commentary editor Logan Guthrie After a thrilling career that has won him the title of the Greatest of All Time in many circles, it has been announced that Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady will officially toss in the towel and hang up his cleats. At 44, he has decided to finally retire, finishing with seven Lombardi trophies
success is what I love so much about our game,” he said. “There is a physical, mental and emotional challenge EVERY single day that has allowed me to maximize my highest potential. And I have tried my very best these past 22 years. There are no shortcuts to success on the field or in life.”
“‘... There are no shortcuts to success on the field or in life.’” and leading both the New England Patriots and the Buccaneers to the Super Bowl a total of seven times (and winning five MVPs along the way), among other great victories in a long and impressive career. Brady took to Instagram to discuss his career and retirement. “I have always believed the sport of football is an ‘all-in’ proposition—if a 100% competitive commitment isn’t there, you won’t succeed, and
“This is difficult for me to write, but here it goes: I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore. I have loved my NFL career, and now it is time to focus my time and energy on other things that require my attention. I’ve done a lot of reflecting the past week and have asked myself difficult questions. And I am so proud of what we have achieved. My teammates, coaches, fellow competitors and fans deserve 100% of
me, but right now, it’s best I leave the field of play to the next generation of dedicated and committed athletes.” Although a short-lived run with his current team starting in 2020, Brady speaks fondly on the time with them in his reflections. In his post, he went on to say, “To my Bucs teammates the past two years, I love you guys, and I have loved going to battle with you. You have dug so deep to challenge yourself, and it inspired me to wake up every day and give you my best. I am always here for you guys and want to see you continue to push yourselves to be your best. I couldn’t be happier with what we accomplished together.” Of course, Brady is best-known for his time spent with the Patriots for the majority of his career since 2000. He did not address them directly, but he did take the time to thank the team in a later response, as well as his thousands of fans that have stood by him throughout all his years in the sport. This was prompted by a statement by Robert
Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, in which he said the following: “Words cannot describe the feelings I have for Tom Brady, nor adequately express the gratitude my family, the New England Patriots, and our fans have for Tom for all he did during his career. A generation of football fans have grown up knowing only an NFL in which Tom Brady dominated. … You didn’t have to be a Patriots fan to respect and appreciate his competitiveness, determination and will to win that fueled his success. As a fan of football, it was a privilege to watch. As a Patriots fan, it was a dream come true.” This statement by Kraft really says it all. Despite the bumps in the road of his career, all the wins and losses, the only thing to do is to look back on all the amazing moments in this football player’s career, and look to the future with hope that there will be another competitor that brings as much joy to so many people.
courtesy @Buccaneers on Twitter
courtesy @Buccaneers on Twitter courtesy @Buccaneers on Twitter
Sports
The Collegian: 4
7 February 2022
Rafael Nadal breaks men’s Grand Slam record Sports editor Callie Hummel discusses the men that vied for the Australian Open win.
After the championship match between Rafael Nadal and Daniil Medvedev lasting five hours and 24 minutes ended, Nadal became the first man to win 21 Grand Slam Tennis titles. Nadal doesn’t hold this record by much, though, as going into the Australia Open there were three men’s players who each had 20 Grand Slam wins, vying for the record: Nadal, Roger Federer, who had to drop out early on due to a recent knee surgery, and Novak Djokovic.
of fighting with the Australian government, Djokovic was sent home, unable to compete. Since Djokovic had 2 more wins than Nadal in their long-spanning rivalry, it’s very possible that the championship game could have had a very different outcome and the record could be held by Djokovic now. However Nadal is quickly rising to be a new favorite in the eyes of the fans, not just because of the major win, but also his outspoken gratitude towards the countries who
“Nadal didn’t have an easy feat even though Djokovic wasn’t able to play ...” Nadal and Djokovic have been continuously fighting for the ‘Best in the World’ title in a rivalry that spans over a decade. The two players have faced off 58 times, with Djokovic leading the feud 30-28. Last year at the French Open, a tournament generally dominated by Nadal, Djokovic pulled out a win in the championship when the two men went against each other. Since Djokovic was seeded #1 in the Australian Open this year, it’s almost inevitable that if Djokovic would have followed the COVID regulations like every other player, the two men would have faced off again at the championship game at the Australian Open. However, after days
let players from all over the world compete in tennis tournaments during the pandemic. It’s a stark contrast from Djokovic’s COVID deportation. Nadal didn’t have an easy feat even though Djokovic wasn’t able to play, as the championship match against Medvedev went into five games. In addition to the comeback after losing the first game 2-6, Nadal played the five-hour game experiencing chronic foot pain after an injury last year that almost put him into early retirement. After congratulating his teammate after the game and hugging his father in celebration, Nadal collapsed on the court and had to be
courtesy @AustralianOpen on Twitter
assisted up the stairs to his press conference. Even with the pain he endured during the game, and the quintessential rest he’ll have to delay practices for, Nadal says breaking the record was worth it. Federer and Djokovic both congratulated him instantly on the victory. As these three men have been competing with each other and facing chronic pain, knee injuries and Australian deportation officers on their road to a history book, Margaret Court is still sitting comfortably
at the top with 24 Grand Slam wins. Court is currently retired, but has held this record since 1973, and was also the first woman to win all four Grand Slam tournaments in the same year, 1970. Following Court, Serena Williams has 23 Grand Slam wins and is looking to attain more in the coming years. Steffi Graf, a retired German player, is third with 22 Grand Slam wins. This means Nadal’s win on Jan. 30 put him at fourth in the world for overall Grand Slam wins, with Federer and Djokovic still tied for fifth.
courtesy @AustralianOpen on Twitter
courtesy @AustralianOpen on Twitter
Feb. 7 - Feb. 13 Monday
Tuesday 8
7
W Golf Texas Invitational All Day
W Golf Texas Invitational All Day W Basketball vs. ECU 7:00 p.m.
Thursday
Wednesday
10
9
none
none
Friday
Saturday 11
Sunday 13
12
M Track & Field Windy City Invite All Day W Track & Field Gorilla Classic All Day
W Tennis vs. Purdue 11:00 a.m.
M Tennis Pepperdine 12:00 p.m.
Softball N. Texas Classic 1:00 p.m.
W Tennis @ Temple 1:00 p.m.
W Basketball @ Wichita State 2:00 p.m.
M Tennis @ Baylor 2:00 p.m. W Tennis vs. Tulane 3:00 p.m.
Commentary
7 February 2022
The Collegian: 5
Catholic Church reviews involvement in Residential Schools
Oklahoma’s Catholic leaders desire to learn from tribal groups. Logan Guthrie Commentary Editor
courtesy @NY_Arch on Twitter
St. Kateri was known as the “Lily of the Mohawks.” She represents all tribes as the patron saint of Native Americans as well as environmentalism.
Dec. 25 7:25 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security Officers dispatched to Mayo Village apartments on report of suspicious activity. Officers arrived at the apartment where the suspicious activity was reported and determined it had been burglarized. Officers made contact with the resident of the apartment and collected a witness statement. The victim was advised to file a report with the Tulsa Police Department. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. Dec. 29 10:15 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to the Mabee East lot on report of an injured person. Officers arrived and met with a non-University of Tulsa affiliate who had fallen and injured themselves while putting their wheelchair inside their vehicle. Communications Center contacted Emergency Medical Services (EMSA). EMSA conducted a medical assessment and determined the individual was well enough to drive home. Copy of report forwarded to Physical Plant and Athletics for their review. Jan. 5 4:40 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to the University Square West Apartments regarding a burglary. Officers made contact with the resident who stated the apartment had been pilfered. It was determined by the resident a printer was missing. The resident will file a Tulsa Police report. Copy of this report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. Jan. 9 12:55 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to the Mayo Village Lot in reference to an automobile burglary. Officers examined the vehicle and discovered the vehicle had damages to the vehicle window. The ignition of vehicle was damaged which indicated an attempted motor vehicle theft. The victim requested the Tulsa Police Department contacted to complete a report as well. No items were reported stolen. Copy of report forwarded to Housing, Physical Plant and Student Affairs for their review.
There is no question that horrible things were done in the name of “civilization” in the continent of North America, especially to the Native American peoples. One of the most horrendous were the Native American boarding schools, or as they are often known today, the Native American residential schools. These schools operated from 1869 to the 1960s, hoping to produce economically self-sufficient students with hard work ethics and possessive individualism, meaning that the individual is the only owner of their skills and therefore doesn’t owe anything to anyone for said skills. In the vast majority of cases these schools forced the assimilation of Native students into a culture, language and way of life these children had not chosen for themselves.
project with the desire to better understand this tragic history and the experiences of the Native American peoples affected. In this amazing effort of collaboration with Professor Bryan Rindfleisch at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wis.—an expert in American Indian history—the two dioceses have gathered oral histories from the former students at these schools and their descendants, studying the documentation from the schools’ operation in the hopes of working in unity with the tribes to find a path to healing. Amy Warne of Oklahoma City recently spoke at Sacred Heart Church in Konawa in reference to the residential schools, and the points she raised need to be taken to heart. Catholics would be up in arms if they were
“... the two dioceses have gathered oral histories from the former students at these schools and their descendants ...” While many had good intentions with this educational system, the fruit of their labors were sour, a cultural and literal genocide. To this day, few records remain extant as to how many schools were in operation, causing trauma and pain for generations to come. The Catholic Church shares their own portion of blame in this tragic part of North American history, and any Catholic that says otherwise is either misinformed or lying to themselves in order to avoid the possibility that people in the Church could do bad things. There are many Catholic leaders, however, who have answered the call, recognizing the need for healing and reconciliation for the next generations of Native Americans that have to live with this dark piece of their heritage. As of Nov. 2021, the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City in collaboration with the Diocese of Tulsa launched a new
Jan. 11 12:00 a.m. Report of Dating Violence Jan. 14 8:15 p.m. While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers observed an individual peeping into an open window of a sorority house. Officers determined the individual was affiliated with the university and advised the affiliate to cease any further activity. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. 10:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to the Mayo Village Apartments to investigate an anonymous noise complaint. Officers observed loud music, open alcoholic beverages and underaged university affiliates at the reported residence. Officers cleared the apartment, disposed of the alcohol and referred the incident in accordance with the University drug and alcohol policy. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. Jan. 16 2:10 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers conducting an end of event walk-through at the Kappa Alpha fraternity discovered an intoxicated underage student. Emergency Services Medical Authority and Tulsa Fire Department personnel were contacted and responded. The student was cleared medically and refused transportation to a hospital. The student was referred for a conduct violation. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. Jan. 18 3:25 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers met with a university affiliate reporting they were being harassed online and around campus. Officers collected a statement and the victim advised they filed a report with the Tulsa Police Department. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. Jan. 21 3:10 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to the Prac-
forbidden to pray rosaries or make the sign of the cross, from expressing their faith even in the most basic of forms. It would be religious and cultural discrimination—there is no doubt of that. Native American culture and rituals, and the basics of their way of life deserve to be treated with the same level of respect. This seems to be something that the Catholic authorities of Oklahoma City and Tulsa have taken to heart. According to Archbishop of Oklahoma City Paul Coakley, “It is important we learn and understand the experiences of American Indian children and their families at Catholic boarding schools in Oklahoma so we can make better and more informed decisions moving forward. We will continue to build a culture of inclusion, healing and understanding related to Native American Catholics in our state.” Bishop of Tulsa David Konderla has also said, “It is by under-
courtesy @ArchbishopOKC on Twitter Archbishop Coakley (left) and Bishop Konderla (right) have worked together with their communities to bring healing to those hurt by the Catholic Church.
standing the past that we are able to improve and build on good ideas in the present and, where necessary, make amends for failures in the past.” We must learn from the past so that we will not make the same mistakes in the future. This project is a beautiful act of good faith on the part of the local Catholic dioceses of Oklahoma, extending their hand in hopes of unity and love, as well as healing and reconciliation. It is wonderful to see that they truly desire to learn from the Native American experience, and to make their voices heard in their faith communities.
tice Soccer Field at 8th Delaware on report of grand larceny. Victims advised the suspect ran up to the top of the hill next to the practice field and stole their backpacks that were sitting on the hill. The suspect then ran to a vehicle where their driver was waiting and drove south off campus. Both victims advised they would file a report with the Tulsa Police Department. Copy of report forwarded to Physical Plant, Athletics and Student Affairs for their review.
nessed an individual being assisted out of a fraternity house by two other individuals. Officers determined the individual, who was not affiliated with the university, was intoxicated and under the legal drinking age. The intoxicated individual declined assistance from the Emergency Medical Services Authority. Officers attended to the intoxicated individual until they were given a ride off campus. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review.
Jan. 25 4:45 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to investigate a suspicious person at the Sigma Chi fraternity. Officers made contact with the suspicious person and determined they were not a TU affiliate. The subject was not trespass warned. A contact card was created. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review.
11:10 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to Club Mabee in John Mabee Hall on report of underage drinking. Officers made contact with the reporting party and one of the reported individuals. The incident is under investigation at this time. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review.
Jan. 29 1:55 a.m. While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers wit-
tucollegian@tucollegian.com editor in chief
Justin Klopfer managing editor
Adam Walsh news editor
Shelby Hiens sports editor
Callie Hummel variety editor
Julianne Tran commentary editor
Logan Guthrie satire editor
Anna Johns photo & graphics editor
Amy Polovich
business & advertising manager
Madeleine Goodman social media & web manager
Maddie Walters copy editor
Jihan Aldada
The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.
@TUCOLLEGIAN
The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700. (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby. (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations. Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising @tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday prior to publication. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian. org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing my take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.
The Collegian: 6
Variety
7 February 2022
Mitski’s “Laurel Hell” does not disappoint
In her sixth studio album, Mitski shows listeners another side of herself and her music. Margaret Laprarie Student Writer
On Friday, Feb. 4 Mitski released her sixth studio album, “Laurel Hell.” As a pretty die hard Mitski fan for many years (“First Love, Late Spring” remained my #1 song on my Spotify wrapped for an embarrassing amount of time), I was incredibly excited to dive into her latest body of work, but also a little nervous. In 2021, several of my other favorite artists released new albums after years of silence, and few of them satisfied the itch that I wanted their music to scratch. I didn’t connect at all with Lorde’s “Solar Power” and found myself zoning out every time I tried to listen. St.Vincent’s “Daddy’s Home” only really captivated me after I saw her in concert and heard the songs live. Both of Lana del Rey’s albums had a few tracks that I enjoyed, but I still haven’t felt compelled to fully listen to either LP. I was worried, would Mitski’s new album suffer the same fate? Luckily, the answer is no. As her singles came out, I enjoyed each one even more than the last, and I felt optimistic when I went to give “Laurel Hell” its first full listen. I was pretty sure it was going to be a win for me as soon as the first track, “Valentine, Texas” ended. The song felt like the perfect way to start a Mitski album: slow and emotional, with a powerful crescendo halfway through that grabs hold of you and says, “We’re going to spend some time dealing with our emotions, whether you like it or not!”
I have so many feelings about Mitski and her work that I knew I couldn’t tackle the job of listening to and making decisions about the album all on my own, so I turned to my two best girlfriends from high school who have always connected to her music in a similar way. We had a really long conversation about the album, less for whether or not it was good on its own, but more for whether or not it was good for a Mitski album. My friend Emily stated, “Mitski set the bar high with her preceding albums, making it difficult for this album to make the same mark. The 80s synth layering in some of the songs is fun and energetic, namely “Love Me More” is a total ear worm. The lyrics, as always, are relatable and poetic… My favorite off the album, “That’s Our Lamp,” uses the same sound as Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmas Time,” yet she is still able to make it sound haunting and mellow.” “The songs I like the best are good, but not comparable to some of the songs off other albums. Each of her albums are distinct in their sound, and form cohesive themes, and this one is no different. Forever one of my favorite songwriters, I can’t say that I don’t like Mitski’s album, yet it has not had the impact on me that her previous albums have had.” My friend Lizzie chimed in with a similar opinion, stating “... it seems very different from her other albums, and while there are some songs that stand out to me and have lyrics that have her trademark relatability and vulnerability, I feel like in a way she lost a lot of her charm on this one… I miss her older stuff because it sounded more original.” While I fully understood where these assessments were coming from, I had to dis-
agree. With “Laurel Hell” Mitski has hit the sweet spot of her career. Through her beautiful, hauntingly honest and vulnerable lyrics, she still openly discusses difficult topics, but she’s taken those trademarks and combined them with a composition that is more mature and listenable. I mentioned her 2014 studio album “Bury Me at Makeout Creek,” citing that as one of my favorites by her, but not something I could or would want to listen to everyday because of its sometimes harsh sounds and songs that can be more painful than they are enjoyable. My friends agreed, and I continued to explain how I felt about her new album by explaining that what she’s done, creating a work that is still raw and emotional but at the same time so much more upbeat, infectious and digestible, makes me as a listener feel like Mitski is starting to accept her hard feelings. It provides an opportunity to join her in that development. Lizzie compared this idea to artist Japanese Breakfast and her transition from “Psychopomp” to 2021’s “Jubilee,” and I couldn’t agree more. Both creative and vulnerable albums, the latest one being a little more upbeat and easier to get behind, even for those of us who fully appreciated and enjoyed her first LP. Our conversation continued, and I got a better grip on what I was trying to say. My point of view started to make a little more sense to my friends when I told them, “... we wallowed with [Mitski] for years, and now we get to heal!” We finished up our thoughts and although both Lizzie and Emily agreed that they needed to give the album another listen, I felt that we had really hit the nail on the head. “Laurel Hell” is a great album for a number of reasons. It’s short and sweet; Mitski keeps you on your toes with infectious beats and lyrics that get stuck in your
courtesy Dead Oceans Mitski began releasing songs in 2012.
head as well as your heart. She gives you something to sing along with in the car and something to blast through your headphones when you’re not sure how to describe your latest emotions. She reassures you that it’s okay to have these emotions, she feels them too, and has even found some joy in them. Her songwriting is impeccable, and her choices almost contain a certain theatricality that is impressive in and of itself. Her talent and creativity shine through every inch of this album, and it feels so special to take advantage of it as a listener. As a Mitski fan, this album is great for all the aforementioned reasons, and also because you get to recognize the change in her as an artist, and maybe even a similar change in yourself as well. Maybe my enneagram four is showing, but props to Mitski for making me feel seen once again, especially during a time when I think we can all welcome more things that bring us comfort.
Snow day reflections: on rest and spontaneity Saad reflects on the promise, rest and bittersweetness of snow days for college students. Hana Saad Student Writer Feb. 1, 2022. It was the night before a snow day, a night full of possibility and knowledge that tomorrow would be a day spent in a liminal space. A surprise respite from the sometimes harried activity of a proper school day with classes, clubs and other responsibilities. Snow days promise escape from all of that, even if some of it must be spent in front
courtesy University of Tulsa Willis began working at TU in 2002.
See Me After Class is a weekly column where a different professor reveals their variety favorites. Julianne Tran Variety Editor Dr. Bruce Willis is a professor of Spanish and Comparative Literature who received his M.A. and Ph.D from the University of Virginia. He did not, in fact, star in “Diehard,” but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a secret life. Willis has a gift for making students feel comfortable speaking Spanish in his classroom and is unwavering in his enthusiasm and love for Latin American culture. You can sometimes find him emphatically speaking Portuguese to befuddled students or fixing the entire semester’s course offerings. 1. What’s your favorite book? What book would you say all undergrads need to read before they graduate? It’s stiff competition, but my favorite book continues to be “Don Quixote” by Miguel de Cervantes, the first modern novel, a tragicomic metafiction with a little something for everyone. But I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for all undergrads. What I would recommend is to read a book in a second language, or if that’s not possible, then a book in translation. Favorites from Latin America that I recommend include “One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Gabriel García Márquez (Colombia), “The Passion According to G.H.” by Clarice Lispector (Brazil), and Lisa Dillman’s recent translation
of the computer, catching up on assignments and readings. Yet the idea of a full day without classes stretches luxuriously in front of many students, prompting late-night hangouts with friends until two a.m. and mornings spent sleeping in. Even if on Wednesday, students didn’t necessarily wake to a blanket of snow, the day still unlocked childhood memories of time spent sleeping in and watching TV shows you never saw during the day. Winter days like these are dangerous, and for most adults, pose problems that are serious at worst and irritating at best. But for college students, snow days still promise the magic they did while we were children. Come Thursday, the snow rested heavy on the rooftops and lightly fell from the
of the US/Mexico border-crossing novel by Yuri Herrera, “Signs Preceding the End of the World.” I would emphasize as well, for all undergrads, the importance of reading non-Eurocentric books, written from the perspectives of the original peoples of the Americas, of Africa, of Asia. Along those lines – it’s not a book, but I would urge all undergrads (everybody, in fact) to pay a visit to the new First Americans Museum in Oklahoma City, where they’ve done a thoroughly amazing job, on every level, of telling the narrative from Indigenous points of view. 2. What’s reading like for you? Is there a specific setting, mood, drink set-up? My favorite place to read is the Faculty Reading Room at McFarlin. All four of the library’s reading rooms are terrific for grading and writing as well as reading. Coffee shops are great, too… and the couch at home, where as soon as I sit down I’ll quickly be joined by a cat or two. 3. Is there a movie/show that you always return to? “Nacho Libre,” of course – the universally agreed-upon hands-down absolute best movie of all eternity! (It’s such a silly film, yet poignant, with an outstanding soundtrack and full of quirky little nods to Mexican humor. Also, the soundtrack takes me back to a wonderful family road trip, over winter break 2006-07, from Tulsa through Mexico to the Guatemala border and back. We must have listened to that CD some two dozen times while spellbound by the changes in the landscape.) 4. What was the last book/movie/show that you actually found funny? I’m currently reading “A Mãe, A Filha, e o Espírito da Santa” [The Mother, the Daughter and the Spirit of the Santa] by contemporary Brazilian writer PJ Pereira. There’s a lot of humor in the novel, especially in Pereira’s descriptions of the characters, but Pereira also paints a stark contrast between rural and urban Brazil in the 1960s, all the while developing a long meditation, laced with laughter, on the intermingling of Brazil’s religions. 5. What’s your favorite Tulsa restaurant? Do you have any food/restaurant routines? I worked as a waiter at a Brazilian restaurant when I was in my mid-twenties. It was an invaluable experience. Restaurants
branches of the trees. Students braved the sidewalks and streets, running and shouting and creating all manner of muck, imagining ice fortresses and endless Arctic landscapes as they looked out from their vantage points on campus. Others stayed cozy inside, making soups, hot cocoa and other tasty treats. Later, reality might have come crashing in and, begrudgingly, we had to settle down to get some work done. Those who pride themselves as good students may feel some guilt for not getting enough done. Others might not regret a day spent attending to responsibilities, but suddenly feel overwhelmed with all that there is to do. Both are unpleasant options. As a college student, a snow day can be a complicated thing. Guilt and even shame
come crashing in, ruining potential chances for relaxation. Sometimes, a snow day starts to feel less like a snow day and more like any other day, with the addition of even more work as we try to maximize extra time. Not to mention that many students who have jobs outside may still have to go to work. Even if the snow days are over by now, we might still get a few in the next couple of months. If at all possible, enjoy the day off. Stop working much earlier than you would on a usual day and plan something fun you always wanted to do. Try a new recipe, play a game or even just call a friend to catch up. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or a perfectly planned day. After all, snow days are a surprise – we should be just as spontaneous.
can be like mini-consulates that bring not just food but worldviews from faraway locations. Quite a few of my favorites in Tulsa haven’t lasted, but of the ones that are still around, I’ll give shout-outs to El Patrón for a good mix of traditional and innovative Mexican, Qué Gusto for Ecuadorian / South American, and Bohemia for great pizza and ambience. 6. Is there a media/pop culture/entertainment/music side to you that students wouldn’t expect? I’m not sure, but perhaps they would not expect that I love to listen to adventure movie soundtracks. The Marvel films, and
series like Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Harry Potter – these are all outstanding orchestrations for getting work done on the computer or for driving around town. I also enjoy the mashups of these scores you can find on YouTube. 7. If you had to pick three songs for a Playlist of Your Life, what would they be? One each from the United States, Mexico, and Brazil: “Today” by Randy Sparks, “Usted” by Armando Manzanero, and “A Saudade É Uma Estrada Longa” by Almir Sater.
courtesy Nickelodeon Movies Willis describes “Nacho Libre” as the “hands-down absolute best movie of all eternity!”
7 February 2022
Variety
The Collegian: 7
“Lore Olympus” spins modern retelling on mythical tale
Through stunning art and heartbreaking plots, Rachel Smythe has perfectly woven a Greek tale for the modern age. Myranda New Student Writer
With it becoming increasingly difficult to sneak a few chapters of a book into my daily routine between assignments and meetings, I have discovered the joy of Webtoon, an app full of comics and graphic novels that only take a few minutes at a time to read. It is an easy way to fit a little bit of fun reading into the day. One of the most well-known comics on Webtoon is “Lore Olympus” by Rachel Smythe, a modern retelling of the story of Hades and Perspheone, and I must say that it is magnificent. The art style alone is enough for it to be breathtaking, but combined with the plot, it is truly a masterpiece. The main storyline is that Persephone, Demeter’s only daughter who had been raised in the mortal realm, has traveled to Olympus to further her education, where she stays with Artemis. In an effort to get her to mingle with other gods, Artemis and Persphone attend a party Zeus is hosting, where jealous circumstances lead to Persephone meeting Hades, and the two slowly begin to fall in love. One of the things I loved about “Lore Olympus” is how effortlessly Smythe intertwined smaller plots with the main one. The stories of Eros and Psyche, Apollo and Daphne, as well as Minthe and Hades were paired perfectly in the background of the main story. It can be overwhelming how many characters are situated in Greek mythology, but Smythe introduced each of
courtesy Pushkin Industries Host Dr. Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist.
“A Slight Change of Plans” offers advice for navigating change with grace. Hana Saad Student Writer As we come upon the third year of the pandemic, things are still constantly changing in regards to, well, everything. Change can be stressful and scary, especially with the varying degrees of strain and hardship that the pandemic has placed on everyone. That’s why the podcast “A Slight Change of Plans’’ might be exactly what some of us
them with ease, making you care so much about their story. Clearly, Smythe did her research when penning this comic. There are myths present that I have not even heard of, while just about every story is held accurate to the lore she adapted it from. In a way, you always know what is coming for the characters, but at the same time, you never know how Smythe will twist it into a modern setting. Of course, since it is based on Greek mythology, the comic is heartbreaking, a true tragedy. It portrays abuse and trauma well, exemplified through all of the characters in different ways to show how differently trauma manifests in people. It is a comic full of powerful messages of caring for those who have experienced trauma and helping them through it. There is one chapter that takes place during a therapy appointment, and I would say the statements made are very applicable to most of us. Smythe’s art portrays the scenes even better than you could have envisioned in your mind. The emotions are so clear in the characters, and the costume changes are beautiful. I always looked forward to the next stunning outfit Persephone wore. Each character has their everyday form and their godly form, and I love to see how Smythe interprets these characters. I grew up reading the “Percy Jackson” series, so I knew that Hera was not one of the best characters and that Apollo was pretty awesome, but in “Lore Olympus,” it is quite the opposite. Apollo is one of the scarier gods while Hera is one of the few that seems to have Persephone’s back. It is so interesting to me to see how these Greek myths can be interpreted across authors, and I loved seeing this specific interpretation, especially when it came to the female gods and nymphs protecting each other through trials and tribulations.
need right now. It aired for the first time in May 2021 and offers stories from people who have been through big life changes and coped with them. The show updates weekly, but there are 28 episodes so far for new listeners to explore. Host Maya Shankar talks to a variety of guests, from celebrities like Kacey Musgraves to psychologists to Olympians as the show explores what it’s like to persevere through difficult times. Most of the episodes range between 20 to 40 minutes, making them perfect to listen to while driving in the car or enjoying a walk around campus. Shankar, a cognitive scientist, is the perfect host. She too went through a life change, with an injury to her hand stifling her dreams of becoming a successful violinist. She navigated this change and eventually saw it as a chance to begin exploring other possibilities. Shankar talks to people who have been through similar experiences and how they navigated the ups and downs in their lives. Some of the episodes feature conversations with researchers who study human behavior. Episode five, “The Science of Change,” features a conversation with cognitive scientist Dr. Katy Milkman. She and Shankar discuss “science-based strategies to help inspire change in your own life.” Engaging conversations like these cover many exciting ideas and tips to be more resilient,
Netflix will be making an animated TV series based on the comic.
courtesy Webtoon
Webtoon is a fantastic way for authors and artists to get their work to a broad audience. With millions of users, there is an assortment of comics across all genres for readers to enjoy and artists to present their work to. Whatever they post is all their own, and Webtoon can even pay you for publishing on their site. Some authors, like Smythe, get so popular that they can strike up deals with bookstores to physically publish their
work. These kinds of sites are vital for getting more artists into the publishing pipeline, spreading their creations across the reading community. Currently, Smythe is on a mid-season hiatus, so there is no better time to get through the 190 chapters already uploaded. “Lore Olympus” can be found on Webtoon or in bookstores.
while less emotionally heavy than the more personal stories. The episodes are inspiring, even if they are hard to listen to at times. This isn’t necessarily a feel-good podcast, as many of the difficulties that some of the guests detail are serious and often anxiety inducing, especially if you tend to worry a lot yourself. The variety available on the podcast is a good thing though. It’s important to listen to stories of people whose experiences are different from yours, even when those experiences sometimes seem frightening. As Shankar tries to impress upon her listeners, changes that seem to have negative life-altering consequences can also open up new possibilities.
The different stories featured as well as the more science-based episodes make this podcast a must listen for anyone going through a change right now, especially the big ones, like graduating, moving or getting a new job (something some of us at TU are about to go through soon!). Give it a listen the next time you are in the mood for a podcast that helps you grow and maybe even thrive. “A Slight Change of Plans’’ is available on all streaming platforms.
Metal newbie’s review of TOOL concert
TOOL, performing at the BOK center this past weekend, brings together metalheads of all ages. Julianne Tran Variety Editor
How does one enjoy metal? I’ve asked myself this question my whole life—walking past Zumiez at the mall, stopping at a streetlight next to some metalheads, seeing Rodrick perform with Loaded Diper. This past weekend, I found my answer. To preface, before this concert, I had never listened to the entirety of a single heavy metal song. I do not know any metal terminology, nor do I have the ear for the technical intricacies of heavy metal genius. I am an ignorant onlooker, taking it all in. A baby metalhead, if you will.
Finally, as TOOL took the stage, a glittering fringe descended from above and projected images of distorted bodies, animals and dark shapes filled the stage. As they started their set list, the audience transformed. The energy in the building immediately peaked as everyone’s heartbeats started to match the heavy thumping of the bass and drums. The rest of the set was a seamless stream of intensity. The music was insane, coupled with vivid graphics and a highly enthralled audience. All I can say is the music was hard, the drummer was crazy, and the breakdowns were like nothing else. I think my body maxed out that night. If it wasn’t for the intermission, I would not have been able to bear the continual force, severity and energy of TOOL’s music. I did not know what to do with myself for a single second of the concert.
“And then you walk away, changed.” On Jan. 30, TOOL paid the old Bank of Oklahoma Center a visit. As Blonde Redhead opened with some breathy rock songs, the audiences sat back in their chairs, some mildly interested and others sitting disinterested with beers in hand, just waiting until TOOL took the stage. Some slight head nods, but you can tell that the audience was holding itself back before they went full head bang.
By the time the performance ended, I was doubly exhausted and energetic. How does one enjoy metal, I ask again? You sit politely with your hands folded while everyone around you screams “why?” with middle fingers in the air. You take it all in while trying not to hold it within yourself lest you explode. And then you walk away, changed.
TOOL is a Los Angeles band that formed in 1990.
photo by Julianne Tran
The State-Run Media
7 February 2022
THE
State-Run media L
Top 5 lies University Ambassadors are allowed to tell you
Before University Ambassadors are sent back to the factory for tour reconditioning, here is a list of the best lies you heard when you toured TU’s campus for the first time. Anna Johns Wahoo! Wahey! Yippee! Woo hoo! Tee hee!
1. If you want a fast, reliable option for getting around campus, try our Yellow Bike Program. TU’s Yellow Bike Program loans free bicycles to members of the university community. The center for the bikes is open and therefore still advertised to potential students. In fact, you can find several students on a given day riding their yellow bikes toand-fro class! Also, try out a new addition on campus, the Lime Scooters. Well, it was new in 2019. 2. TU’s finances are just fine. Please stop asking about it. University Ambassadors are banned from understanding what “hemorrhaging money” means. Have you checked out the Campus Bookstore? 3. Sexual violence occurring against student on campus is handled swiftly and appropriately. You can bet that our Campus Security, which is properly funded by the way, will be on the scene and attentive to any victim’s needs. Administration also does not ignore the complaints of victims and promptly responds to allegations, especially when it comes to allegations against fraternity members’ sexual misconduct. This is a school
graphic by Anna Johns This campus has everything: forgotten bikes, a slew of people trying to tell you what Bread Co. is, a knight seeking the sweet release of a warrior’s death...
where sexual assault victims are lifted, supported, and—wait, are you sure somebody tampered your drink? Maybe you were just blackout drunk after one sip of your White Claw. You should have completed your mandatory training for alcohol safety. 4. You can find plenty of diversity on campus. We are proud to host people of varying cultures, outlooks and languages; in fact, most of our students are from the St. Louis area! In class, you can listen to people from St. Louis ruthlessly and endlessly detail the exotic lifestyle of Missouri: the multitude of
warring high schools, the names of neighborhoods (did you know some have French words?), Panera Bread’s real name, Imo’s Pizza preferences and Busch Light supremacy. You will beg for them to stop talking about fucking St. Louis. They will never cease. 5. Oh, the immortal sword master who travels our campus searching for a worthy adversary that will skillfully perform the killing blow, putting him once and for all out of his misery? He’s fine. Yeah, so maybe he drags his sword against the concrete as he walks, and it constantly
makes this godawful screech sound. That’s how you know where he is and to avoid his path, lest you kindle the burning rage burning under his rusted chainmail, the animalistic, bloodthirsty itch he can never get scratched. He’s killed maybe four freshmen who stumbled into his path last semester— that’s the lowest it’s been in years! Did you say you heard him moaning and pleading for the righteous champion, the one who will free him of these earthly confines? Yeah, whatever, dude, we’ve all been in Keplinger and wanted to die. He’s just dramatic.
Once I learned to say “Dobrý den,” I realized that by pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone so much, I have surpassed my peers and become a true Traveling Free Spirit™. Not everyone has what it takes. I now know that only a person of my superior intellect could survive the adversity of sometimes having to point at what I want on a menu because the waiter nemluví Anglicky (“doesn’t speak English” in Czech, god I am so smart). I would not say that I travel as a hobby. It is more of a lifestyle really. A lot of people make excuses for why they travel so little, excuses like “I cannot afford it,” “bro, I am working, leave me alone,” or “Sir, you are going to have to leave this Chili’s if you aren’t going to buy anything.” I make no
such excuses. Money? You mean that green stuff? Ignore that shit and start living your true self. Speaking of money, the beer costs so little here. It is only about 30 korun for a halfliter. On the off chance you do not know the current exchange rate, your beloved Chili’s could not touch these prices. They would go out of business. Try it, I dare you. Because beer costs almost nothing, I have decided to drink as much beer as I can at every opportunity. Imagine how much my growing alcohol dependency would cost in the US. I am going to save so much money in the long term. This is amazing! One of the most important parts of experiencing a new culture simply revolves around interacting with locals. For example,
I got called a “kurva” by an 80-year-old Czech man yesterday. I do not really understand what that means, but I appreciate his compliment regardless. Coincidently, the next day I also got called a “kurva” when I said no to a man selling weed on a bike. It must mean something like “what a neat fellow” or something. When you are as worldly as I, nothing really surprises you anymore. Whether I am crossing the Vltava on the beautiful Karlův Most, or exploring the labyrinthine roads around Pražský hrad, I never lose sight of how demonstrably superior I am to all my untravelled peers. Can I pronounce either of those places, or the number four for that matter? No, but can anyone really say Čtyři? I sure as hell know you can’t.
I found myself studying abroad
And I have found that I am better than you. Kyle Garrison Truly Mr. Worldwide
I know that this sounds cliche but now that I’m studying abroad in Praha (Prague in Czech), my perspective has broadened so much. Now I understand how much better than everyone else I am. I used to struggle so much with self-esteem, but compared to all those dumbasses who didn’t go abroad? I’m the greatest! Guys, I’m out of my comfort zone so much. I am so excited to be here! Ukraine? Yes, there is one country between them and me. Why do you ask?
graphics by Anna Johns
