25 April 2022 by The Collegian: Student Newspaper of the University of Tulsa

a student newspaper of the University of Tulsa

April 25, 2022 - Issue 23 - Volume 107

Seniors’ Farewell Letters,

Cover by: Amy Polovich

page 2

Participants run the 126th Boston Marathon, page 4 Spotify designs playlists for your pets, page 7 Palestinian mosque attacked, page 5 Satire: Kendall Hall boots Phantom, page 8

Page 2

The Collegian

25 April 2022

Writing in the dark age of the pandemic Thanks for letting me write way too much

Julianne Tran Variety Editor Emeritus When I first started writing for The Collegian, we had just returned from a semester cut short by the pandemic. I remember sitting in my dark, first floor apartment wondering what the supposed “new normal” was going to look like amid COVID regulations that restricted most interactions and organic encounters with friends and peers. I had just switched majors and the weight of the unknown pressed upon me. At the same time, I was filled with anticipation for what was to come, having emerged from the shadow of home-isolation and the ever wretched time of decision-making and self-assessment. I turned to my laptop and started writing a story about some movie or TV show I recently watched, attempting to weave my words together as I eased into the process of writing and rewriting, reading and rereading. By the end of it, I looked over my arti-

cle, proud of some of the phrases I was able to craft and laughing at some of the weird, little notes that I would probably be the only one to find funny. It would only be published online for the few readers who happened to stumble upon The Collegian’s website during the old, darker COVID times when we couldn’t print issues on campus. Despite this, I remember feeling like writing these stories was a small gift to myself — a moment to take pride in my work, not for the sake of its success, but for its intrinsic value in just being mine. My own words, strung together. My voice, cemented in little letters on a screen. My time in college has been a whirlwind of change — discovering who I am, what I love, what I believe, what I am curious about, and who I want to be. I look back on these past three years with immense gratitude for every experience, every friendship, every class, every growing pain, every humiliation and every moment that filled my heart with cheer and overwhelming joy. Thank you to The Collegian and Collegian staff for everything. For the chances to write my thoughts, albeit some uncharacteristically contentious, others completely benign and generally frivolous. For the Sunday mornings and haphazard conversations. Thank you readers. Thank you TU — you gave us much to cherish, much to criticize and much to remember. I wish you all well. Signing off, Julianne

Adam Walsh Managing Editor Emeritus I was not particularly high on myself when starting college, and dealing with various sources of trauma led to my decision to attend TU. I simply was not ready to be a functional adult without the supervision of my parents. A harsh but necessary judgment, I can say that I have improved massively over the course of my undergraduate career. I credit quite a few people with that, namely God, but also through the interactions with the multitude of excellent people I have had the joy of knowing through the university. Aside from one class that I utterly despised, I have fond memories of all my professors. I’ve said it quite often, but the faculty and support staff here are extraordinarily talented and capable individuals, not to mention how much they care about their students and disciplines. Thank you all.

Similarly, thank you to the vast number of people I have met over the years. Although some of those relationships ended in heartbreak or failure, I am thankful for them. Each situation taught me something new about myself and has helped prepare me for the future. For those that have shown me immense love — or at least tolerance — it cannot be stated how much I treasure your willingness to be around me. For the paper itself, I find it rather ridiculous that I’ve written so much. I’ve visited each of the sections, trying my hand at them all to various degrees of success. But where else could I call the former-president of TU a possessed cheese smeller then seriously remark on the structure of that same university? I credit Anna Johns for getting me into this mess, and I hope you don’t feel too called out for this. However, if you have had a problem with what I’ve written, now you know who to blame. The entire editing staff at the paper has been a joy to work with, especially with Justin as the Editor-in-Chief. The detail-oriented nature of editing has really lit a passion for the art in my heart, and even though I get paid very well, it has become a source of play instead of work. I look forward to seeing how the editors and writers we all leave behind grow and develop, and I expect one of them to be Editor-in-Chief after Zach leaves office. Now I’ve written too much, but as long as it’s shorter than the SA article, I think I can get away with it (and thank you all who let me get away with far too much). Love y’all. See ya starside.

Thanks for the free Circle Cinema tickets Thanks for taking a chance on me

Justin Klopfer Editor-in-Chief Emeritus I started writing for The Collegian in 2019 because I could get free tickets to Circle Cinema. Three years later, I still love writing movie reviews, but I’ve branched out quite a bit. I’ve covered international, national, state and campus news. Writing articles gave me a perspective I’d have no chance at obtaining otherwise. So many stories to tell, people to meet and opinions to spew. Reading my fellow students’ stories, opinions, jokes and media tastes is always enriching and never boring. My faith in the

importance of journalism only grew over the years, and I truly hope the journalistic spirit flourishes at TU. The pandemic took its toll on The Collegian, and the paper is still recovering from a tenuous time. I’m immensely thankful to all our editors and writers who held on — every one of you provided something absolutely vital. Sundays wouldn’t be the same without you. I hope working at The Collegian has been as enjoyable and enlightening for you as it has been for me. And to those who take the time to read The Collegian: thank you. The end of my time at The Collegian is also the end of my time at TU. I found so many of my passions at TU — only here could a computer science major also be the Editor-of-Chief of the school paper and dedicate four semesters to a research project on modernist literature. They were a turbulent four years, but were still filled with amazing memories and people I’ll always love. I’ve seen my friends grow over the years and achieve such great things. It makes me so sad to think we’ll never all live together like this again. Finals season never feels like a proper send-off, especially when it’s the last one. Here’s to the graduates, the writers, the readers, the editors, the storytellers and the truth-seekers. Happy trails.

Logan Guthrie Commentary Editor Emeritus I started writing for the Collegian in 2019 on a whim because I saw a sports pitch that looked interesting to me. At the end of my junior year, I was approached to come on staff as an editor. I was still doing sports as an editor at the time, but I have been able to branch out and grow as a writer and editor in other sections as well. Working for the Collegian has been an incredible experience and I have been privileged to work with some amazing people and made friendships that I hope will last

for a very long time. I have gained new perspectives on the inner workings of journalism as well as world events, and I hope that I can take these experiences with me as I move on from my undergraduate days here at TU. I would like to thank the Collegian staff from the fall that took a chance on hiring a Geoscience and Anthropology student that didn’t know anything about being a newspaper editor. I will always be grateful for the opportunity that I have had here and the great memories I have made. Especially thank you to our Spring 2022 Editor-inChief Justin Klopfer and Managing Editor Adam Walsh for their hard work and dedication this past semester and pushing all of the staff to make our newspaper the best that it can be. It truly has been one of the best experiences of my life to work here at the Collegian and I am very excited to be able to look back at the times we have had and to see the work of the next Collegian staff in the fall. Good luck everyone with the rest of your semester!

“Goodbye My Lover” is a song by the English singer-songwriter James Blunt, written by Blunt and British songwriter Sacha Skarbek, for Blunt’s debut album, Back to Bedlam (2004).

Anna Johns Satire Editor Emeritus So, this is pretty bonkers to write. I first joined The Collegian in fall 2018 when I was just a little goon of a man, and now, following the pattern of my Collegian career, I

write this farewell letter at the absolute last minute in the office. My Collegian experience has taken many forms: as a freshman student writer, feeling out of place and unbearably shy with the loud, affable upperclassmen around me; a sophomore Social Media and Website Manager, still shy but definitely pushing my luck; and a junior and senior Satire Editor, my ultimate, most impressive form. And now it’s up to you, young one, Child of the Prophecy, to kill me and steal my power. You must strike me in the heart with the dagger forged by the fabled Stone of the Almighty and suck the blood from my pulsing wound. #Slay! I think joining this rinky dinky school newspaper has been one of the most formative parts of my college experience. I still remember the overwhelming feeling of when I first went to a Collegian meeting: there were no seats because the room was so packed with loud, funny people who were obviously familiar with one another, sling-

ing clever quips and making me feel incredibly out of place. This feeling didn’t last long — I kept coming to meetings, memorized faces and names and created impactful friendships. For my articles, I interviewed people I’d never be brave enough to talk to. When I lacked confidence in my voice and presenting myself, I wrote commentary and satire articles. The Collegian, without a doubt, has been instrumental in my journey of self-acceptance and courage. Words are not enough to express how incredibly thankful I am for this student newspaper and what it has done for me. With the pandemic, The Collegian’s draw has dwindled. Now, we’re lucky if we have, like, one person who isn’t on the Editorial Board attending a meeting. Still, there is so much potential here. It sounds a little ridiculous for me to say that writing articles in my spare time (usually on Saturday night or Sunday morning, oopsie poopsie) has altered me in such a drastic way, but I cannot emphasize enough the value of finding your

voice, even if its muddled and intertwined with stupid jokes about medieval weaponry, seducing mothers and saying former TU President Gerard Clancy summons rats in the tennis courts. I’ve read a lot of senior farewell letters. I’ve said goodbye to a lot of friends. And now, here I am in this out-of-body experience writing my own. What the hell is up with that? I feel like I’m writing a reflective journal of my time in the Korean War. Thank you to the people I’ve met writing this newspaper, for the moments of laughs, Alexa uprisings and Wok Wok outings. I am incredibly grateful and forever changed, even if Managing Editor Adam Walsh is making me question writing such a sentimental letter because he’s currently talking about the Once-Ler. I have bright hopes for everyone who will continue on next year and the students to come. Smooch, mwah, etc.

25 April 2022

The Collegian

TU Community provided acceptance

Jihan Aldada Copy Editor Emeritus The phrase, “all good things must come to an end” comes to mind when writing this letter in the dim hallway of the McFarlin Library. Looking back at my first day on campus, coming in as a transfer student in her second semester freshman year, I would’ve never imagined what was to come. Making friends was never a strong suit of mine, but there is something about the students in the English and Creative Writing majors at TU that almost prohibits you from leaving without at least 10 new Instagram followers. The University of Tulsa has given me a pretty good idea about what the world and the people in it look like. Growing up in a small town, I didn’t see much diversity in

the classroom and in my professors. Seeing others like me in the classroom or in passing gives me hope for a better future. I have come to really appreciate my environment here, in terms of a variety of different backgrounds and cultures. I felt really out of my comfort zone coming here as a transfer and also a commuter, but I just melted right into the crowd. From what I experienced in the last four years, there are no cliques, or secluded groups, or judgemental looks from those who think they are better or wealthier than you because we are all going through it together. “It” meaning life and its daily battles, struggles and hardships. We’ve been through a lot, this graduating class. I won’t go into extensive detail on the college pandemic life we all endured, but it was certainly rough, to say the least. It is especially why I am proud of myself for finishing this degree. After going through the stress of online classes from home and the devastating loss my family and I suffered, getting this degree means everything. Not to say I probably won’t be in a classroom again after this year, because who knows … that master’s degree salary looks really nice, but as for now, I think I owe it to myself to enjoy the moments that come after we move that tassel to the other side. I want to close with a massive thank you to both TU and The Collegian, for providing me with memories and friendships I will forever cherish. Oh, and thank you to my sweet Conner, whom I can now hangout with on Sundays.

Page 3

From timid freshman to senior columnist: The Collegian journey

Hana Saad Student Writer I pen this at nearly midnight. Finals and senior celebration plans have kept me busy. There’s my future to think about too — but I think I’ve got that planned. At least part of it. This isn’t about the future though. It’s about the past 3.5 years at The Collegian. First as a timid freshman, barely confident enough to write her own articles, then as a copy editor and finally as a student writer during my senior year.

I never expected any of these things, but someone at The Collegian saw something in me. Although I had to turn down the Editorin-Chief position due to mental health reasons, I still wanted to be involved with The Collegian, even if only in a small way. I’m almost more grateful it turned out this way. I got to write more than ever before, including for a weekly column I created, where I reviewed different podcasts each week! My favorite article was one I wrote for the Arab Film Festival in October. I felt like a little journalist, armed with my pens and journals. I even did an interview with the director of the festival. I love getting the chance to talk to people about their work and passions, something The Collegian allowed me to do numerous times. Although I sometimes wish I had done more during my time at The Collegian, I can only look back fondly at the times spent working on Sundays with the team and the hours spent writing articles. It’s not often you get the chance to write and share your ideas with the public. The Collegian allowed me to do that and I’m going to miss it. If you’re a burgeoning writer, consider writing for The Collegian! You won’t regret it.

Sports

The Collegian: 4

25 April 2022

Chebet and Jepchirchir win 126th Boston Marathon Sports editor Callie Hummel discusses the stats and stories of the winners. sponsors, municipal officials and local running clubs. In addition to the 30,000 runners, the race usually attracts around 50,000 spectators as well. This number greatly increases later on in the race when the Red Sox game ends. It’s been a tradition for the Boston Red Sox to play a day-game that starts before the Marathon, so when the game ends, baseball fans flood out into the streets to cheer on the marathoners as they finish the route. These traditions were put on pause in 2020 and

courtesy @jgault13 on Twitter

On Monday, April 18, runners from across the world congregated in Boston, Massachusetts to participate in the 126th Boston Marathon. Kenyan runners Evan Chebet and Peres Jepchirchir placed first in the men’s and women’s categories, respectively. The Boston Marathon is the world’s oldest annual marathon race. It began in 1897 after the new marathon event in the 1896 Summer Olympics found great success and support. From then on, the Boston Marathon has been a major event every year.

Unlike most marathons, participants have to run a qualifying race in order to compete in Boston. Qualifying times differ depending on age groups, and one must be over 18 to compete. For runners between the ages of 18 and 34, men must run 3:00.00, and women 3:30.00 at a registered marathon the year prior to the Boston Marathon. The average 30,000 registered participants haven’t all been subject to the qualifying times though, as there are also runners who can enter with partners. One-fifth of the marathon’s spots are held for charities,

Jepchirchir has had a major few years, winning gold at her debut Olympics in Tokyo and coming in first at the 2021 New York Marathon, Jepchirchir now has another medal to add to her collection. Jepchirchir took home a major win this year in Boston, and in 2:21.01, became the third-fastest time in event history. At 28 years old she is the first athlete to win the Olympic marathon, the New York City Marathon and the Boston Marathon. She has also broken three halfmarathon world records

“[Jepchirchir] has also broken three half-marathon world records.” postponed in 2021, but finally were able to return to normal in 2022. Chebet ended the race with a 2:06.51 time, coming in a whole 15 seconds before the second-place runner, as he gained distance on the final downhill stretch. The main difference with the Boston Marathon and other marathons participants might have run prior are the great hills throughout the city. Runners must keep up a solid pace, but still preserve energy to make the steep climbs, even in the 25th mile.

The win didn’t come easily to Jepchirchir though. In the final mile, there was a sprint between the two runners, Jepchirchir and Yeshaneh, and the leader switched eight times before Jepchirchir pulled out in front to run through the finish tape. The incredible last mile sprint between the two women runners was a perfect event to celebrate the 50th anniversary of women officially being able to enter the race. In the first year, 1971, only 8 women ran. In 2022, there were 12,100.

Baker Mayfield looks to leave the Cleveland Browns Commentary editor Logan Guthrie discusses the quarterback’s next moves.

Since the news of the falling out between Cleveland Brown quarterback Baker Mayfield and his team, rumors have been circulating about where he will go in the NFL. Some seem to be speculating that one team in particular would be very keen to get him. On ESPN’s “Get Up”, sports reporter Jeff Darlington stated that the Pittsburgh Steelers would sign Mayfield “the very next day” if the Browns cut him. This is not the first of such rumors that have surfaced, as

Watson is currently facing 22 different active lawsuits, along with 10 criminal complaints that two grand juries from Texas chose to not charge him with that are related to acts of sexual misconduct and assault towards multiple massage therapists. According to his deal with Cleveland, for each game that he is suspended from the NFL in 2022 because he is serving for these lawsuits, he will lose only $55,556 from his contract.

“... Mayfield is coming off a very rough 2021-22 season.” back in March The Plain Dealer/Cleveland. com’s reporter Mary Kay Cabot also said that the Steelers would “pounce” at the opportunity to take Mayfield for themselves. Mayfield began seeking to be moved from the Browns soon after he felt “disrespected” by the team’s choice to trade and sign Deshaun Watson. According to Mayfield, there was no open communication between the team and himself about the decision and that was the source of the disrespect that he felt. Watson received a contract from the Browns for five years and 230 million dollars. However, this does come with some caveats for Watson due to his current legal situation.

But why would the Browns choose all this legal baggage over keeping their current quarterback? A major factor in this decision was clearly that Mayfield is coming off a very rough 2021-22 season. Mayfield missed three of the games this last season due to injuries, and unfortunately he did not live up to expectations the rest of the season as well. He threw a total of 3,010 yards, as well as 17 touchdowns and 13 interceptions this past year. Furthermore he averaged 7.2 yards per attempt. This tied with the worst mark of Mayfield’s career. Additionally, his sack rate was 9.3%. This was by far Mayfield’s worst season in his NFL career, prompting the trade by the Browns for Watson.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Despite what some reports are saying, it really doesn’t seem too clear cut as to where Mayfield will actually end up next year, and no team seems to be jumping at the opportunity to sign him, given the past season’s record. NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport has his own opinions on what the future looks like for the quarterback: “If the Cleveland Browns are going to trade Baker Mayfield before the draft, which is possible, the Carolina Panthers seem like

the most likely spot … Baker Mayfield said on a podcast that he thinks his most likely spot is Seattle. I think his most likely spot if he is going to get traded before the draft is the Carolina Panthers. What Carolina is doing right now is evaluating all the options.” Nothing is certain at the current moment if the Browns will give Mayfield up, and as it currently stands no one knows for sure where he’ll be traded. This next season could turn out to be a gamechanger for the quarterback.

Apr. 25 - May 1 Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday 26

Thursday

Friday

Saturday 29

Sunday 1

Track & Field Track & Field vs. Drake Relays vs. Drake Relays All Day All Day

none

Track & Field vs. Drake Relays All Day

Track & Field Track & Field vs. Drake Relays vs. Payton Jordan All Day All Day Softball @ UCF 4:00 p.m.

Rowing vs. Oklahoma/ Creighton TBD Softball @ UCF 1:00 p.m.

Softball @ UCF 1:00 p.m.

25 April 2022

Commentary

The Collegian: 5

Israel storms al-Aqsa mosque, injuring 158

Conflict between Israel and Palestine has been steadily increasing over the past few weeks. Hana Saad Student Writer Almost two weeks ago, Israeli police stormed al-Aqsa mosque, wounding 158 Palestinian worshippers. The violence continued into this past week, with Israeli soldiers showing excessive force by firing rubber bullets and tear gas at worshippers, who threw stones and launched rockets at Israeli forces in return. The conflict escalated as Israel launched air raids in the central Gaza strip on April 21. The al-Aqsa mosque is located in Eastern Jerusalem and is important to both Muslims and Jews. A law passed in 1967 bans any non-Muslims from praying at the site of the mosque. Tensions are especially high right now since Ramadan and Passover coincide during the same month.

planation for why the conflict has escalated in April. “The situation in Sheikh Jarrah in occupied East Jerusalem, triggered by threats of forced evictions of Palestinian families; the heavy presence of Israeli Security Forces and violence around the al Aqsa mosque during Ramadan; the severe escalation of attacks from and on Gaza; and the shocking incitement to racial hatred and violence in Israel have all led to vicious attacks and mounting casualties in the Occupied Palestinian Territory and in Israel.” This statement illustrates Israel’s part in creating the conflict. Oftentimes, Israel and the West use the militant group Hamas to justify the Israeli army’s shocking cruelty toward Palestinain people, acting as if they are merely trying to defend Israel. Although Hamas has engaged in violence and acted in ways that, in part, prevented both parties from moving toward peace, Israel is the one occupying Palestinian land, which they forcibly took from Palestine in the mid-twentieth century. This is only a very brief summary of the history, but provides some of the context needed to understand the present conflict. In 1917, Great Britain gained control over Palestine and allowed Zionist groups to settle in Palestine. The conflict surged in the 1940s and from 1947 to 1948 there was a Civil War in Israel. There were casualties on both sides, but the Palestinians ended up suffering more because they had to either become refugees or stay as second-class citizens. During the Civil War, the Israeli military resorted to tactics of terror as a way to get

rooms and communities. The stories we tell about Israel and Palestine erase much of the struggle and violence that Palestinians faced from colonization. It also erases the fact that the Israeli government and military continues to occupy Palestine today through unjust means. Israel is often seen as the ally of the US fighting against Palestinian terrorists, which is enough justification for the violence that Israel commits against people of all ages. Considering that the US is not ready to face their own history as a colonizer who also committed violence and attempted to destroy the lives of Indigenous people in this country, it is not surprising that the US government and many of its citizens seem to either not understand or not care about Palestine.

Take a hard look at what’s happening in Palestine. There have been casualties on both sides, yes, but the harm done to Palestinians goes deeper than just the recent conflict. Their lands, homes and places of worship are being taken from them, often through violent means. No one appears to be safe from Israeli soldiers, be it a child or a grown man. People around the globe need to start truly seeing what is happening in Palestine and realize the injustice of the situation instead of simplistically pitting Palestine and Israel against each other by always insisting it is Hamas or groups of violent Palestinians starting the conflict. It is so much more than that. Where is your rage, tears and sadness for Palestine?

“No one appears to be safe from Israeli soldiers, be it a child or a grown man.” A day before, ultra-right nationalist Israeli protesters gathered near the mosque, chanting “death to the Arabs” according to reports from Al Jazeera. This is just one example of how the situation in Palestine and Israel is at a dangerous place. UN Human Rights High Commissioner Michelle Bachelet provided a succinct ex-

Palestinians out of the country. From 1948 to 1949, around 80 percent of Arabs were forced from their homes in Palestine, which is now referred to as the al-Nakba conflict. Only 20 percent of Palestians remained. For those who are allied with Israel, such as the US, the history of Palestine is one that is not talked about nearly enough in class-

courtesy @FriendsofAlAqsa on Twitter In response to the Israeli attack on Masjid al-Aqsa, people from all walks of life from across the UK gathered together in support of the Mosque and its attendants.

hicle fail to stop at a posted stop sign and proceed through the intersection. Officers issued a warning to the driver. Copy of report forwarded to Student Affairs for their review.

April 14 9:45 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers responded to a call regarding an individual sleeping against the Collins Fitness Center. Officers attempted to escort the individual off property, but they refused to leave. Officers contacted Tulsa Police Department (TPD). TPD arrived and arrested the individual for public intoxication. A contact card was made. 12:00 am Sex Offense: Fondling 3:15 am University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security received a phone found at Fisher West. The owner was reported aware of the phone being turned in. Property placed in impound for safe keeping. 10:45 am University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to Mayo Village parking lot to investigate vandalism. Officers discovered scratch damages to a vehicle with tires cut on the sidewall. The owner informed officers they have no knowledge to whom caused the damages. The Tulsa Police Department (TPD) was declined by the owner to investigate on scene, and they will file a report with TPD at a later time. Copy of report forwarded to Physical Plant and Student Affairs for their review. 1:00 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers were dispatched to Mayo Village Apartment for a welfare check. A student had body pains after exercising. A family member informed officers they were unable to make contact with the student. Officers made contact with the student at their

9:20 am University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers made contact with a University of Tulsa affiliated student to report property damage at Mabee East Lot. Officers observed a Chevrolet Corvette with large scratches and paint loss on the rear passenger side. The student does not know the cause of the damages and does not wish to file a report with the Tulsa Police Department. Copy of report forwarded to Physical Plant and Student Affairs for their review. residence and the student informed officers they did not wish to seek medical treatment. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. 6:50 pm While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers identified a vehicle in the Keplinger Law lot that matched the description of a non-university affiliated vehicle that had been previously reported stolen by TPD (Tulsa Police Department). The Tulsa Police Department was notified, responded to the scene and had the vehicle towed from campus. 10:00 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers investigated a complaint of marijuana odor coming from Lorton Village apartments. Upon arrival, officers located the source of the smell and made contact with the residents. Inside of the apartment were multiple university affiliates with alcohol and loud music present. Officers conducted a search of the apartment and located marijuana and marijuana paraphernalia. Officers impounded the marijuana and paraphernalia. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. April 15 5:40 am University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security received a student identification card found at the Reynolds Center. The owner was identified and contacted. Property placed in impound for safe keeping. 7:35 am While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers conducted a traffic stop Officers observed a ve-

April 16 8:15 am University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers impounded a found purse at the Mayo Village Apartments. The owner was contacted, and the property returned. April 17 6:15 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers conducted a welfare check on a student at John Mabee Hall. Officers determined the student was not under duress and advised them to contact their parents. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. 8:55 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers responded to a hit and run at West Park. The Communications Center observed a vehicle reverse into a parked vehicle and then flee the scene. Officers made contact with the suspect and determined they were not a university affiliate. The owner of the parked vehicle, a university affiliate, did not want to file a complaint with Campus Security or the Tulsa Police Department. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. April 18 6:05 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers responded to a fire alarm at the Delta Gamma sorority. Officers located the fire panel which read smoke and proceeded to clear the room located on the fire panel. The room had a blow dryer that was smoking inside of it. Officers cancelled the Tulsa Fire Department. Contact was made with the student resident who advised the blow dryer had started smoking while they were using it. Officers reset the fire panel

and gathered a statement. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. April 19 11:15 am University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security received a set of keys found at the Allen Chapman Student Union. Officers were unable to determine an owner. Property placed in impound for safe keeping. 4:35 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers made contact with two minors skateboarding on the Lorton Performance Center dock. Officers trespass warned the individuals, and a contact card was made. 9:25 pm University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers responded to Fisher South Hall to investigate a report of marijuana odor. Officers located the source of the odor and confiscated marijuana and marijuana paraphernalia. TU students found in possession of the marijuana and paraphernalia were referred for conduct violations. Officers took a written statement from the reporting party. Copy of report forwarded to Housing and Student Affairs for their review. April 20 5:30 am While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers observed a suspicious posting on a bulletin board in Kendall Hall. Officers removed the posting at the request of their supervisor. The investigation is ongoing. 10:25 am University of Tulsa Campus Safety and Security officers responded to a report of a suspicious person at the Case Athletic Center. Officers made contact with the person who then ran eastbound, towards S. Harvard Ave and off campus. The Tulsa Police Department was contacted due to the person having a potential mental health crisis. A contact card was created. April 22 12:00 am Sex Offense: Fondling 12:00 am Sex Offense: Fondling The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Variety

The Collegian: 6

In “Seems Like Diet Culture,” Mallory Page, a registered dietitian, challenges diet culture through casual conversations. Hana Saad Student Writer Mallory Page, a registered dietitian with an anti-diet focus, has finally created her own podcast! Page has been posting about food, movement, nutrition, intuitive eating and the like on Instagram and YouTube for years. Her content is informative with a conversational tone that makes the information

more easily accessible to those with all levels of familiarity with diet culture. The first two episodes of this podcast came out last Thursday and they did not disappoint. In the first episode, Page defines diet culture and anti-diet culture, using clear, direct language. She has always been thoughtful and compassionate with her content and it shows through in these first couple episodes. She recognizes that the anti-diet culture movement comes directly from the work of marginalized women, who are disproportionately impacted by the effects of diet culture. Page explores the gray space in between diet culture and anti-diet culture. She talks about how some influencers have co-opted

courtesy Pixabay Mallory Page seeks to debunk diet myths in “Seems Like Diet Culture.”

This podcast was released April 2022.

language from anti-diet culture and to make their content more acceptable, even if that content has remained largely the same as it was when they were not speaking about anti-diet culture. For example, she discusses how some influencers might post highly curated pictures of their bodies that still feed into ideas of conventional beauty but pair it with an antidiet culture statement to make the post more trendy. In episode one, Page gives tips for recognizing where diet culture is creeping in on your own life as well as what you can do to help alleviate the stress it can cause. She uses contemporary examples, such as the feta-pasta trend, to demonstrate how food and health fads can become widespread and accepted as something everyone should do or like, despite the fact that a single trend will not be a good fit for everyone.

25 April 2022

courtesy Seems like Diet Culture

Episode two is all about Page’s own experience with an eating disorder, exercise and obsession with all things health. Although she has discussed this in the past on her Instagram and YouTube, she tells all in this episode. Mental health and eating disorders are difficult to talk about, but she does so with grace. Her story serves as a reminder that you are never alone. This podcast is not designed to attack those who are still upholding diet culture, as everyone has different relationships to fitness, food and health. Rather, Page is interested in having legitimate conversations about nutrition and health trends. It makes for an informative podcast that also feels like a big hug for anyone who is struggling with their relationship to food and fitness.

“The Northman” simple but satisfying Director Robert Eggers’ newest film immerses viewers in the world of vikings with a classic revenge story. Justin Klopfer Editor-in-Chief Revenge is a classic motif throughout all of storytelling. The “Iliad,” “Hamlet,” Batman — all these stories use a murderous event to trigger a wave of retaliatory violence. Robert Eggers’ new film “The Northman” adapts this motif from centuries-old Danish lore. The film tells the story of Amleth (Alexander Skarsgård), a prince seeking revenge for the usurpation of his father’s throne. The plot adapts a story from Saxo Grammaticus’

The cast of “The Northman” was perfectly selected. Skarsgård’s hulking physique and gravelly voice make him utterly convincing as a ruthless warrior. Anya Taylor-Joy, previously seen in Eggers’ “The Witch,” makes a return as a similarly mystical companion to the warrior. Supporting performances from Willem Defoe and Björk breathe life into an otherwise simplistic slew of characters. Eggers’ previous feature films are characterized by a meticulous attention to historical detail, and that legacy is mostly upheld. While there is not a specialized dialect used throughout the film, like in “The Witch” and “The Lighthouse,” the set and costume design allow total immersion into the world of vikings. Many scenes are set against the vast Icelandic mountains and create the sense of epic scale vital to the story.

“Eggers’ movies are all about isolation, to some degree.” history of the Danes — the same source Shakepseare used as inspiration for “Hamlet.” While Eggers doesn’t include the same existential complexity that the Bard does, much more of the original Danish folklore is preserved. The result is a film that doesn’t stray much from its primeval archetypes, but still manages to grab the viewer for all of its 137-minute runtime. Those put off by the more experimental elements of “The Lighthouse” will be pleased to see Eggers return to a mostly straightforward and thematically transparent plot. The set-up is simple and the ending is conclusive. Still, something does feel lost when comparing the film to the radically unique dynamic of “The Lighthouse.” The violence in “The Northman” is brutal — and rightly so. At its heart, it’s an action film, constantly building to the next slaughter. Eggers never lets his film be oversaturated by this violence. The brilliant pacing of the film lends these climactic scenes a satisfying weight.

The scale of the landscape is contrasted by the relatively small size of the clans Amleth navigates. When the warrior finds his target after years of absence, the village he rules feels almost pathetic in comparison to the grand landscapes it inhabits. Amleth’s one-against-all struggle is more believable when his enemy is a shambling noble and his limited guard. Eggers’ movies are all about isolation, to some degree. Amleth’s only true companion throughout the film is a romantic interest, and even this relationship is secondary to his drive for revenge. It’s a much more onedimensional character than the director’s previous efforts, or previous interpretations of the myth, for that matter. Overall, while I’m a bit disappointed by the lack of imagination in “The Northman,” especially in comparison with the director’s previous films, it’s still a near-perfect action movie. “The Northman” is currently showing in Circle Cinema.

“The Northman” was released April 22, 2022.

courtesy Focus Features

Variety

25 April 2022

The Collegian: 7

Spotify designs playlists for your pets

Spotify’s Pet Playlist feature, based on questionnaire answers and your music taste, produces some mixed results. Margaret Laprarie Student Wrtier

This past Monday I was greeted with a notification from Spotify that I could hop on the app and make a playlist for my pets! I was thrilled, thinking that this was a brand new feature for me to capitalize on, especially after adopting my first cat, Pan, just two months ago. I discovered a few days later that this feature has actually been around since 2020, and was just being highlighted for National Pet Day. Nonetheless, I was excited to discover it, and thought it worth discussing. How does the Pet Playlist work? By visiting https://pets.byspotify.com/, you are redirected to the Spotify app, where you fill out a short questionnaire about your pet, including what kind of pet they are and what some of their characteristics are. You’re able to upload a photo of them, and include their name, both of which are displayed on the graphic for your playlist once it’s made. Are the playlists any good? The music is chosen based on the questionnaire, as well as your own listening habits. My pet playlist had an interesting mix of cat-related songs and upbeat pop music like “Kiss Me More” by Doja Cat and “Adore You” by Harry Styles. Although it was kind of a weird mix of music, I thought the playlist was pretty decent for what it was. I don’t know if I’d jam to it in the car or put it on in

courtesy Spotify

Spotify’s Pet Playlist feature was launched in 2020.

exchange for one of my own playlists, but I was satisfied with the result. Do the pets enjoy them? That remains to be seen. Pan seemed to like his playlist, but in all honestly nearly anything will get him excited and riled up. No way to know if he was really feeling the music or had been struck by just the regular old zoomies. I spoke to a friend of mine who had made a playlist for her dog Cleo, and she didn’t seem to think that the music really fit Cleo’s vibe. She told me, “Cleo doesn’t even like this kind of music. She likes opera, she likes jazz…she likes trap music.” C’mon Spotify, why didn’t you fill Cleo’s playlist with a healthy mix of those three genres? Rating other pet playlists! After making a playlist for my own kitten Pan, I enlisted my sister to make one for each of our cats back home: Princess, Sugar, and Socks. Princess’s seems alright. I felt she should have had more upbeat music, because she’s

a pretty sassy cat. But the inclusion of “Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers seemed to make up for it, as the melancholy tune fits Princess’s dramatic attitude perfectly. Sugar’s playlist fit her pretty well. Slow, calm music from The Lumineers and The Japanese House really captured her quiet personality. I thought the addition of the song “Hungry Eyes” was a nice touch as well, because she’s always the one begging for food. Socks’ playlist was a bit of a flop. Socks is a feisty, energetic cat, and the songs Spotify chose for her were much too calm. She is much more wild than our other two cats, and she may have been given the tamest playlist of them all! Although the quality and accuracy of the Pet Playlists may be questionable, I had a lot of fun making my own and seeing how they turned out for the other pets in my life. Whether you’ve got a host of cats like me that need their own playlist or a variety of other pets, Spotify’s got you covered.

courtesy Spotify You can make a playlist at spotify.com/pets.

graphics by Spotify, photos by Margaret Laprarie

Outgoing Editorial Staff tucollegian@tucollegian.com

tucollegian@tucollegian.com editor in chief

Justin Klopfer managing editor

Adam Walsh news editor

Shelby Hiens sports editor

Callie Hummel variety editor

Julianne Tran commentary editor

Logan Guthrie satire editor

Anna Johns photo & graphics editor

Amy Polovich

business & advertising manager

Madeleine Goodman social media & web manager

Maddie Walters copy editor

Jihan Aldada

@TUCOLLEGIAN

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700. (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby. (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations. Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising @tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday prior to publication. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian. org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing my take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

editor in chief

Zach Short managing editor

Maddie Walters news editor

Erika Brock sports editor

TBA

variety editor

Bella Herrera commentary editor

Shelby Hiens satire editor

Kyle Garrison photo & graphics editor

Celeste McAtee

business & advertising manager

Madeleine Goodman social media & web manager

Callie Hummel copy editor

Margaret Laprarie

@TUCOLLEGIAN

Incoming Editorial Staff

The State-Run Media

the

25 April 2022

State-Rumedian The first newspaper to receive eternal damnation from a celestial entity!

Talks of remodeling Kendall Hall stirs Phantom of the Opera homing crisis — oh, and … He’s shirtless?

Guess what? I’m doing it, and you can’t stop me! What are you going to do? Pry the Phantom of the Opera off my shoulders and make him stop giving me a deep tissue body massage? You can’t! His hands are lotioned! Anna Johns Head Propagandist

For a year, I have begged and pleaded with my so-called benevolent fellow student writers to do me a solid. A little favor. Just one article. “You’ll get $10 for it,” I’d say, “and make Mama happy.” (I’m Mama.) Well, here we are at the last issue of the semester—and my last State-Run Media totally objective news section. No one has been nice to me and done this pitch. I guess what they say is true: 1) in this life, no one is going to write me a personalized article starring a scantily clad Phantom of the Opera with fanfiction-like circumstances and place this into their college newspaper; 2) if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself. So, I’m going to write this fucker, and you’re all going to love it. And after you read this article, you must find me, give me a sweet, tender kiss on the forehead, and tell me what a damn fine piece of journalism this is. That’s the rule for any of you reading this section. Also, you should’ve been affectionate to me and telling me how awesome and funny I am all along, and quite frankly, now that we’re talking, it’s upsetting that you haven’t. I guess we’ll discuss that at another time. he Phantom of the Opera has long resided in the sewers underneath Kendall Hall. His grotto, which can only be found via traveling a rippling watery interlude with the sexiest, rawest duet you’ve ever heard, is not the best kept secret ever. He extorts us and gets paid the same unreasonable salary as one of the football coaches, but he’s part of the TU experience all the same — so integrated into campus culture that the University Ambassadors briefly mention him on the tour to prospective students. When the rumors started about the Kendall Hall remodeling, the question was raised: where the hell is the Phantom of the Opera going to live during that construction

Me-YOW!!!! Now THIS is content for the University of Tulsa’s newspaper!!!!!! Hello, sailor!!!!

work? The students and faculty can certainly breathe all the asbestos they’d like, but the Phantom of the Opera? A Frenchman? Quelle horreur! Needless to say, all that stress really makes his abs, which peek through his skin tight white shirt, more defined. (While gathering a statement from the illustrious Phantom of the Opera, your proud propagandist eagerly devoured the view of him recently wet from his dip into the sewers. A bead of water trailed down the slope of his mask and lovingly settled in the crook of his lips, softly parted from his exertion of breath. “Mind if I take this off during the interview?” the Phantom of the Opera asked, gesturing to his soaked shirt. “You can take my house if you want to,” I said.) Commenting on the situation and how it affects his already shaky and quite homicidal emotional state, the Phantom of the Opera states: “I appreciate The Collegian taking interest in my story: so quick to bleed out medleys and operatic musings, so eager to nourish my mewling hungry kittens with ballet numbers and dead bodies, so used to

giving that I forget what it’s like to receive. Also, you look like you’re really hot and funny and smart, by the way.” “Oh, what was I saying? Right. I’ve long enjoyed my professional relationship with the University of Tulsa,” the Phantom continues. “To push me out of my grotto— where I absolutely need silence to castrate myself and let my innards fall onto music sheets and piano keys—is already a slight, but then to not immediately tell me of my rehoming situation? Unthinkable. Sacré dieu!” With that, the Phantom of the Opera promised dire repercussions if this issue wasn’t solved soon. Seniors had already seen what would happen if the university upset the masked menace: during True Commitment when administration threatened to cut his pay, he killed off most of the Philosophy and Religion departments. The loss blame was officially placed on True Commitment, but the rope burns on the professors’ necks tell witnesses otherwise. All of that to say, we at The State-Run Media are strong advocates for finding the Phantom of the Opera a new home during reconstruction. No, we aren’t being influ-

graphic lovingly by Anna Johns

enced by the way the Phantom’s nipples coyly poke out of his shirt, his rich tenor voice that could be a toe-curling moan or, like, the way he reeks of sewer. So far, proposals for his new home include the tunnels underneath McFarlin, the first floor of Zink Hall or handcuffed to my bed’s headboard. Your move, TU. Okay, Phantom aside, this is my space, right? My section! My last act as dying Head Propagandist, hands shaking, breath stuttering, is to use this moment — now that we’ve all climaxed — to declare my successor: Kyle Garrison. He is sturdy. He is cultured. He is literate (something The Collegian struggled with yours truly, as Editorin-Chief Justin Klopfer had to teach me how to read). He will light the darkened path, reveal the fake news and tuck every reader in with a bedtime story. Goodbye, mortal realm. Goodbye, The State-Run Media. And remember: tell me how funny and smart and pretty I am and how good this article is — or don’t talk to me at all.

Okay, everyone. Here’s my cat, Phoebe!

photos tenderly by Anna Johns

25 April 2022

Articles inside

Palestinian mosque attacked

Satire: Kendall Hall boots Phantom

Participants run the 126th Boston Marathon