NOVEMBER 2018
The Truth About Becoming A Foster Parent
Catching Up With Brian
Transgender Awareness Month
LET’S PARTY!
WWW.CITYBBQ.COM/CATERING
Chief Executive OďŹƒcer Publisher
Executive Assistant Contributing Writer
Curtis Davis cdavis@team-icsc.com
Jeff Skinner info@onetruevoiceonline.com
Editorial Director Social Media Manager
Sales Manager Contributing Writer
Kaylee Duff editor@onetruevoiceonline.com
Christopher Leaming sales@onetruevoiceonline.com
Contributing Writers Daniel Tirabassi, JT Lucas, J.M. Rayburn, Candelaria Mota
Contributing Photographers Emily Hirzel, Jeff Skinner, KRForbesPhotography, Chris Leaming, Allison Willford, J.M. Rayburn, Kaylee Duff
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CONTENTS
November 2018 3
Letter From The Editor
20-21 It Takes A Village The Public Health Dayton & Montgomery County LGBTQ Health Initiatives
Finding family where we can
4 November Events
22-23 The Truth About Becoming A Foster Parent
What’s going on in Ohio this month
In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, the NYAP dispels common myths about foster care
5 Out In The Media Reviews of the latest books, movies, shows and more
6 Spotlight On Jupiter Gray
10-13
Catching Up With Brian What’s happened with Brian since his feature in Quorum Columbus
Get to know this Columbus-based musician
14-15 The Deal With Name Changes
7 Spotlight On Huckleberry House This youth homeless shelter is more than just a shelter
9 “Horny, Hungry And Ambitious” With Christine And The Queens The band’s latest album explores sexuality and more
NOVEMBER 2018
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
The 20th of November is Transgender Day of Remembrance
16-17 Creator’s Space Reader-submitted art and words
24-25
In Their Own Words Ohio’s trans community share their stories
26-27
What I’m Thankful For Here’s three things that Jennifer Lynn is grateful for this year
28 Ohio’s OneTrueVoice In Action Snapshots from Ohio’s LGBTQ+ community
19 Complete Our Streets Complete Streets are safe and accessible for all users
ONETRUEVOICEONLINE.COM ON THE COVER: Brian was featured on the cover of Quorum in November 2014. We’re catching up with him four years later. True Q Magazine is published monthly by True Media Group. True Q Magazine issues are FREE at distribution locations throughout the state of Ohio, or available as a subscription for direct delivery online at OneTrueVoiceOnline.com/subscribe. Copyright © 2018 True Media Group All Rights Reserved. Reproduction without expressed written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. All rights in letters, manuscripts, photographs, drawings, illustrations and artwork sent to True Q Magazine will be treated as assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to True Q Magazine and True Media Group terms and conditions. All models are at least 18 years of age. All photographs included are posed for by professional models or willing participants in True Q Magazine except as otherwise noted. Neither said photographs nor accompanying editorial is indicative of sexual orientation or gender expression, unless specifically noted. The publisher of the magazine does not assume responsibility for statements by advertisers.
ALL CONTENT AND RELATED MEDIA ARE COPYRIGHTED © 2018 BY TRUE Q MAGAZINE. All rights reserved. 2 | OCTOBER 2018
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
LETTER
Finding Family Where We Can The start of the holidays can be hard for those with complicated family situations. November for me has always meant family. It comes right as the weather turns cold, so we’re all forced inside to spend time with each other. If you were a marching band person like I was, November meant the end of a season and less afterschool activities. And November also marks the start of the holidays. Even for non-religious families, there’s a constant hype for family-time during the last two months of the year. But family time can be hard if you can’t be yourself around them. Forcing yourself into a closet, being referred to by the wrong name or pronouns, not being able to talk about a significant other or others — it’s overwhelming. It can seem impossible in the face of everything going on right now. For so much of the world, November is synonymous with family. But a lot of the world doesn’t have a family in the way that society says we need to. Queer people are historically forced out of homes, disowned, ignored or forgotten by their “given” families. (Such is too often the price of living an authentic life for the LGBTQ+ community.) So we find family where we can. Family doesn’t always mean blood or relatives or the people you live with. We find family in those around us who accept us for who we are, in those people who remember names and pronouns and partners and identities, in those who give us the basic human right of respect. We find family in the deep bonds of queer friendship. We find family in sports teams, book clubs, baking classes, coffee shop dates, classmates, online forums. We find family at sticky high-top tables in bars. We find family at work with people we see every day. We find family in literature and art and history and TV shows and film and representation. I find a family in my close group of friends who, even separated by miles of distance, I can trust them with anything and everything. I find a family in living with a group of women who understand my experiences and enjoy the same things I do. I find a family in the future that my fiancée and I are building together. November is National Adoption Awareness Month, a month-long observance focusing on the adoption of children in foster care. Children and young adults especially need somewhere they can call home, some people they can call TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
family. There are so many ways that the average person can help those kids in need, from becoming a foster parent to volunteering. On Page 22, we discuss the myths and the facts about what it takes to be a foster parent. November is also Transgender Awareness Month. November 20th is Transgender Day of Remembrance. This is a day where the LGBTQ+ community and the community at large honor our trans siblings who were lost due to transphobia and violence. But it’s important to remember that we must honor those members of our community — our family — all the time. And the best way we can honor them is fighting for their rights. So we find family wherever we can. Humans need some sort of connection with others. We thrive when we’re surrounded with positive forces, when we’re reminded of our worth. And so maybe family to me means something different than family to you, but all types of families matter and they’re all necessary. And if you can’t find a family? Welcome to our family. Our arms are always open.
Love, Kaylee Duff, Editor OCTOBER 2018 | 3
EVENTS
NORTHWEST NOVEMBER 1-3 Winter Wheat Bowling Green Winter Wheat: The Mid-American Review Festival of Writing is an annual three-day writing festival hosted at Bowling Green State University. The festival events are held on campus and around town, and features writing workshops, a bookfair, special guest readers, an open mic, an editors roundtable and more! The festival is free to attend, but guests are asked to register for sessions ahead of time. For more information and a full schedule of events, visit bgsu.edu/winterwheat/.
CENTRAL NOVEMBER 1-25 La Cage Aux Folles Columbus Presented at the Garden Theater by the Short North Stage, La Cage Aux Folles is a must-see this month! This 2010 revival version of one of Broadway’s biggest and happiest hits is still exceedingly relevant in today’s social climate. Featuring gay partners, Albin and Georges, who run a drag club in St. Tropez and their corps of drag performers, The Cagelles, La Cage Aux Folles is heartwarming and funny. The show is a dazzling tribute to 21st century family values, and the trials faced by the queer community. To learn more and purchase tickets, check out the venue website at shortnorthstage.org/garden-theater.
November Events What’s going on in Ohio this month? Here’s a selection of great community events happening around the state in November. SOUTHEAST
SOUTHWEST
NOVEMBER 10 Rainbow Dance Athens
NOVEMBER 11 LGBT Veterans Recognition Dayton
The Southeastern Ohio Rainbow Alliance and the Ohio University LGBT Center are hosting a Rainbow Dance at Casa Nueva Restaurant and Cantina! It will be similar to a “stoplight dance,” where participants wear specific colors to indicate their relationship status. With tunes spun by DJ Logan Savage and dancing all night long, the Rainbow Dance is going to put everyone way over the rainbow! The cost is $5 at the door; all proceeds benefiting the Southeastern Ohio Rainbow Alliance. Doors open at 9:30 p.m. Search the official Facebook event page, Rainbow Dance with DJ Logan Savage, for more information.
Rainbow Elder Care of Greater Dayton will be honoring local Dayton-area LGBTQ+ veterans at the Greater Dayton LGBT Center on Veterans Day. Special awards are going to be given out, honoring veterans for several things including having the highest ranking and being the most decorated. The names of the honorees will be displayed in the LGBT Center for the next year, and then will be preserved and remembered as positive examples of patriotism for future generations. The recognition event features opening remarks by Dayton Mayor Nan Whaley. Throughout history, LGBTQ+ veterans have faced countless challenges in their service to our country, often having that service denied or diminished while having to hide their true selves. This event is recognizing those hardships while also celebrating, honoring and remembering the stories and history of our LGBTQ+ veterans.
Hosting or know of a cool event? Submit it to our calendar at
onetruevoiceonline.com/submit-an-event/.
NORTHEAST NOVEMBER 3 Ohio Independent Film Festival Cleveland Described as being “edgy,” “underground,” and “something different,” the Ohio Independent Film Festival is more than just a festival — it’s an event. Featuring live music, workshops, parties and the best indie films around, the OIFF is a one-night only experience sure steeped in culture and creativity. There will be short and feature length films being showcased, all handpicked from around the globe, that are sure to entertain. Information, tickets and the full schedule of films are all available at ohiofilms.com. 4 | OCTOBER 2018
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
REVIEWS
Out In The Media The True Team review some of their favorites! Check, Please!: #Hockey, Ngozi Ukazu 288 pp. First Second. $16.99. By Kaylee Duff
Photo by Kaylee Duff.
Dancing Queen, season 1 By Chris Leaming
Released on Netflix this October, this eight episode docuseries follows Justin Johnson (a.k.a. Alyssa Edwards) and his dance company Beyond Belief Dance Studio, in Mesquite, Texas. If you liked the shows Dance Moms and RuPauls’s Drag Race, you are going to love Dancing Queen. For those of you that don’t follow RuPaul’s Drag Race, Alyssa Edwards was on season five and season two of All-Stars. The show has two different sides to it. You get to see Justin run his dance studio and the dynamics between him, the students and the moms. You then also get to see Alyssa Edwards and her very successful drag career. On the dance studio side of the show, you get a feeling the producers wanted it to have a Dance Moms-esque tone. But luckily, Justin is nothing like Abby Lee Miller. Throughout the series, Alyssa does produced drag numbers in various locations where they are filming, and those are a lot of fun to watch! One final aspect of the show I want to touch on is Justin and his complicated relationship with his family. You get to see him and his sisters reconnect and mend friendships that were lost. Hopefully there will be a second season because the last episode leaves a lot of unanswered questions. This docuseries did not disappoint and I definitely recommend it to all interested in performance, drag and good times. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
#Hockey, the first book in the Check, Please! series, is as addictive as one of Eric Bittle’s pies — and twice as sweet. #Hockey contains Years 1 and 2, and will be followed by Book 2, Sticks and Scones, with Years 3 and 4. Created by Ngozi Ukazu, Check, Please! started as a web comic series and became wildly popular across the Internet. And for a great reason! Check, Please! follows Samwell Men’s Hockey player Eric “Bitty” Bittle as he traverses through life away from home. But Bitty isn’t just any hockey-playing jock; he’s a pie-baking, boy-loving, Southern-charm-having hockey-playing jock. Check, Please! is absolutely a win for the LGBTQ+ community. It’s more than a love story, but the final “episode” might be the most romantic queer love confession I have ever witnessed. Ukazu touches on coming out, the heightened homophobic environment in traditionally “masculine” sports, college stress, the importance of friendship, economic class differences, racism and so, so much more. Check, Please! is literally laugh-out-loud funny, with relatable and truly outrageous humor. As the story unfolds in this beautifully illustrated comic, it’s punctuated with hilarious dialogue, one-liners and commentary from the peanut gallery. But the real magic of Check, Please! is how Bitty — a boy so out of his element at first — begins to find his place in the world. He finds a family in the Samwell Men’s Hockey team. Even the least sports-inclined reader can find a family wrapped up in silly antics, wild parties and the heartbreaking, authentic truth found in the pages of this graphic novel. So follow Bitty and his friends through the first two years of his college experience. #Hockey also comes with featured extras, where readers can learn more about hockey rules and culture, and Bitty’s Tweets, which offer an insider’s look at Bitty’s day-to-day life. (Then after you finish reading #Hockey, head over to checkpleasecomic.com to catch up on Years 3 and 4 in real time!)
A Star Is Born By Jeff Skinner
The film A Star Is Born, which was released last month, was produced and directed by Bradley Cooper. In my eyes, Lady Gaga was the main star as Ally, but some might say Bradley Cooper was right behind her as Jackson! His character is a country music star and one night after his gig, he grabs a drink at a bar. But it wasn’t just any bar — the bar featured drag performers and a singer, Ally! When Jackson saw Ally, he saw something in her that she didn’t see in herself. She eventually shares a song with him, “Shallow,” and at the next gig Jackson has her come up and sing the tune with him. He wasn’t ready for the star he was creating! There is so much in this movie that makes it an instant classic. It’s a tearjerker, but the story and the music make it well worth the tears. The soundtrack is absolutely phenomenal (“Heal Me” by Lady Gaga is my new favorite song), and the actors pull you right into the world of the movie. The drag queens and Ally’s absolutely gorgeous copper red hair were just the cherries on top! A Star Is Born is definitely a must-see film. OCTOBER 2018 | 5
PROFILE
Spotlight On JUPITER GRAY Name: Jupiter Gray Age: 21 Genre: Hip-hop, a little pop. I just like to experiment with genres. I love all music; I listen to everything.
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
Get to know this dynamic Columbus-based rapper, singer and musician! Jupiter Gray identifies as a trans woman, and is a major influence on the upcoming LGBTQ+ music scene.
Why is creating music meaningful to you?
alternative rock music. I love them. Nirvana. I listen to a lot of Azealia Banks. Just everything.
Creating music is meaningful to me because growing up, I was never into sports and stuff. My family is very competitive and athletic. I never found that entertaining. I ended up getting into singing and rapping by doing orchestra when I was in middle school. One day my orchestra teacher walked in on me singing a song by OneRepublic. I was playing the piano, and she said, “Oh, you can sing.” So she put me in choir, and I just went with it. I started off playing instruments. I played the cello, clarinet, drums at some point. I don’t know. I just found music exciting.
How did you start? What was your beginning?
Who and what inspires your music? I love Angel Haze. She’s a big inspiration for me. I like how raw she is, and she’s also gender non-conforming. (But she doesn’t go by they/them either, anymore.) I also love Smashing Pumpkins. I listen to a lot of 6 | OCTOBER 2018
I guess my official rap beginning started in 2015. My mom was friends with a radio worker. The group Mindless Behavior was looking for someone to open for them. My mom got me that connection. That was my first show. It was sold out and super scary, because I had never been on stage before, outside of little school musicals. I would say that was probably my start, and just kept going. I actually walked up to their manager after the show and was like, “You should sign me.” I had never done a show before, but I was just so confident.
Do you have a favorite performance memory? Probably when I did Columbus Pride in 2016. There was a guy standing in front of the stage
trying to get on the stage and dance and rap. The guy was like, “I’m not your grandpa,” and just trying to get on the stage while I was rapping and stuff. I didn’t even notice him until after I was shown a video, and the whole performance was trying to dance in front and get attention. That was pretty funny. I’m happy I didn’t see it. It would have distracted me so much.
If you had to choose one meal to eat for the rest of your life, what would you choose? I don’t know. That’s really hard. I would probably say fajitas.
You can find Jupiter Gray’s music on Spotify, Tidal, Google Play, Apple Music, Deezer, Soundcloud or anywhere else you can stream music. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
PROFILE
Spotlight on HUCKLEBERRY HOUSE Learn more about the Columbus youth homeless shelter that’s more than just a shelter. By Kaylee Duff Found deep in the heart of Columbus, Huckleberry House has been serving at-risk and homeless youth since 1970. Huck House’s main goal is connecting young people with “home” — whatever that home may look like. Sometimes that means reunifying them back with their family. Sometimes that means connecting with friends, other relatives, a foster family. Sometimes that even means helping them create a new home of their own. Huckleberry House is part of the nationally recognized Safe Place program. This means that Huck House is dedicated to providing a safe and affirming location for youth in need of immediate help and safety. According to the 2017 Huckleberry House Annual Report, they have provided 17,850 nights of shelter and 10,504 hours of counseling and support throughout their four programs.
CRISIS SHELTER
A safe alternative to the streets The Huck House shelter provides housing for teens ages 12 to 17. It gives them a temporary place to stay with the ultimate goal of reunifying them safely with their family, if possible. They are provided a bed, hot meals, counseling programs and assistance finding their next step.
TRANSITIONAL LIVING PROGRAM Help setting up a home of their own
This program is for youth ages 17 to 22, who do not have a safe home. It’s designed to help set them up in a new home of their own, while teaching them the skills they need to successfully maintain their new space. They have access to a furnished apartment and are provided community support and services, if needed.
FAMILY SUPPORT PROGRAM
Support for solving tough family problems Huck House provides counseling to youth ages 12 to 22, to help young adults and their families build safe, supportive homes. This is led by mental health professionals and is conducted in a variety of settings to help families identify TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Photo by Emily Hirzel. Photo by Emily Hirzel.
strengths, develop coping skills and change negative behaviors.
YOUTH OUTREACH
When you can’t come to Huck House, Huck House will come to you The Youth Outreach Program (YOP) is a street-based counseling service that connects youth to the support they need. The YOP Shop is open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday, to help young people on their own terms.
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
“Issues such as violence, neglect, abuse and poverty have taken their lives far off the beaten path,” the Annual Report reads. And it’s Huck House’s mission is to help those young adults back on the journey towards the future they want and deserve.
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
Huck House also gives out scholarship funds to youth in their programs who are committed to pursuing higher education goals. In 2017, they gave out $12,000 in 5 separate scholarships. Needed “wish list” donation items: • Clothing (underwear, sweatpants, sweatshirts, shorts, T-shirts, socks) • Wallets • Earbuds • Composition notebooks/journals • Adult coloring books • Art supplies (including colored pencils) • “Smell goods” (i.e. Bath & Body Works) • Hygiene products (deodorant, shampoo/ conditioner, body soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, brushes, combs) • Feminine hygiene products • Ethnic hair care products
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
• • • •
Baby items Pillows Solid color twin comforters Home items (kitchen utensils, general cleaning and laundry supplies, picture frames) • Non-perishable food items (crackers, cup of soup, fruit snacks, chips) • Gift cards, $5 to $25 (for fast food restaurants, grocery stores, gas stations)
Visit huckhouse.org for more information on how to donate wish list items! OCTOBER 2018 | 7
MUSIC
“Horny, Hungry and Ambitious” with Christine and the Queens The band’s latest album, Chris, explores sexuality and more over a pop-funk beat.
By JT Lucas Growing up as a pansexual girl in the Western part of France, harboring a penchant for shattering norms and desiring to be loved and wanted on her terms, is exceptionally tricky. Héloïse Letissier, the French girl I’m talking about, long held onto a fear of being placed into a box. Her childhood was full of jazz and piano and dance and Michael Jackson. As she became older, her interests didn’t align with her classmates, who handled her quirkiness with emotions ranging from indifference to confusion to anger. In university, she was met with the very tangible force of misogyny, when she was kicked out for attempting to direct a stage play, a role that was reserved only for boys. Her dark funk was then amplified when she was dumped by her girlfriend, causing her creative well to run dry. She retreated to London, where she ventured upon a gay club, where she met three drag queens (the “and the Queens” part of Christine and the Queens) who saw her potential and convinced her to move past her sadness. She adopted a new persona: Christine. Letissier assures us that within each and every one of us, there is a “Christine” — that proud, unfiltered, confident version of ourselves. “Christine” doesn’t need to shove herself in a box, fit your heteronormative roles or be liked on anyone’s terms but her own. “Christine” doesn’t even need to be queer in the way that society demands her to be. “Christine” is free. Chris, the latest offering of Christine and the Queens, is not merely an album, but also a newer manifestation of Letissier’s personality. Chris is described by Letissier as “horny, hungry and ambitious.” In the opening track, introduced by the classic THX sound that informs us of the cinematic experience we’re about to witness, you really believe that. Songs like “Comme si,” “Girlfriend (ft. Dam-funk),” and “Damn (what must a woman do)” let us know that Christine can absolutely please a woman if she will just let her. The first glimpse into the complexity of Chris happens on “The walker,” where the singer describes bruises, swollen eyes and other pain felt, either figuratively or literally, as a result of laying oneself bare. Chris has TRUE Q MAGAZINE
felt the cold indifference and exclusivity of her peers (“What’s-her-face”), lamented the state of the world today (“Make some sense”), and has maybe, probably metaphorically but also maybe not, had a brief foray into some very inexpensive prostitution (“5 dollars”). The cornerstone of this album, “Doesn’t matter,” shows Letissier addressing her thoughts of suicide head-on. Unsuccessful at escaping from her darkest thoughts through relationships and sex, she wears her “rage as a fabric, through and through,” acknowledging the “loud whispers” behind her back and decrying the pressures of starving oneself to gain the attention of others. It comes to a climax at the line “forget I said it,” illuminating that hard choice between being honest about your pain and keeping it quiet. Many have speculated, possibly erroneously, that she created a character, the Voleur du Sol, or “Sun-stealer,” who stole her a “shard of sunlight” at the end of the song and rescued from her darkness. I choose to believe this, rather than the recent revelation that this “Sunstealer” was most likely actually invented to take the sunlight away and leave her to wallow in her despair alone. It’s a powerful, infinitely deep song placed to such a happy beat.
The sound of Chris is pop-funk perfection. The upbeat selections from Chris are perfect for car-dancing at red lights or dancing in the kitchen in your underwear — not necessarily club fare, but still danceable in its own right. She seems to dial the production way back when she gets into a more serious topic, creating some haunting, soaring melodies. Letissier’s clear and powerful voice has a strong staccato punctuated by her infectious accent. She recorded most of this album in an old studio that the French ambient electronica duo, Air, used to use. She utilized some vintage instruments in her recording, which gave the album some retro ‘90s vibes and is also just pretty darn cool. If you’re feeling international, there is also a Frenchspeaking version of the album, containing two songs that were not translated into JT Lucas is a English, both of which Columbus-based are also bops. music enthusiast, frequent concert-goer and a Carly Rae Jepsen superfan. OCTOBER 2018 | 9
COVER STORY
Catching Up With Brian Brian Thiele was featured as the cover story in Quorum Columbus’s November 2014 issue, as part of Transgender Awareness Month. The True Team sat down with him again four years later. By Kaylee Duff
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
COVER STORY Kaylee: How have you been doing since that Quorum article? What’s changed since 2014?
it. That’s the one crappy part. They do cover a little bit of my testosterone, so it’s not too bad.
Brian: Physically, that [article] was right before I got my top surgery. So I’ve had that for about four years now. Obviously there’s more physical changes; I’m more masculine-looking. It’s easier to grow some facial hair now.
That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t really thought about bottom surgery. It’s crazy expensive, and it doesn’t always work. And I’m good. That’s the other thing, too. I was scared to death to try and date people or talk to anybody. I didn’t want to be looked at like a commodity or someone’s fantasy. Like, “Oh you don’t have that? Does that make me straight now?” Like no, you’re still gay. I promise you.
Mentally, that’s a huge change for me. At the time when I first came out [as trans], I just identified as straight. That was pretty easy. Then over time, I’ve kind of explored, and now… I guess, pansexual would be the right term. Queer. I don’t know. There’s so many different labels. I really just go for the mind. Being trans, it opens up your mind a lot. I think I finally get to develop emotionally, because for 24 years all I was worried about was my gender and my appearance. I had really no time to explore who I was as a person. I mean, I did a little bit, but now I’m more in tune with it, allowing me to explore myself. Also, I’m learning that there are all types of men. There’s feminine men. There’s really masculine men. There’s a little bit of both, in between. At first, I was worried. I was hyper-masculine. I didn’t want to do anything sort of “girly.” Now, I wear all my rings, and I really don’t care. I am who I am, and if you don’t like it, that’s fine, that’s your prerogative. So mentally, I’ve definitely grown and allowed myself to be myself. I’m not trying to please others more or live up to a certain stereotype. Other than that? I’m still at my same job, but I had literally just started there in June before that [article was released]. I’ve been there for four years now. I work at Honeywell. It’s fun. It’s sort of hard to explain; it’s one of those jobs. But I like to say I work with adult Lego sets all day.
That’d be another thing I would tell somebody or my younger self. Don’t be afraid to get out there. Everybody gets rejected at one point. Whether you’re gay, straight, trans, cis. We all get rejected, and we’re all scared to death of going out there and taking a risk. Get rid of those paranoia walls. That was pretty recent, too, within the past year, that I finally got over it. It’ll be five years in December that I’ll be on testosterone. It’s crazy it’s been five years already. Like I said, four years since top surgery. [Gestures to November 2014 issue of Quorum] Looking at that magazine, it’s just mind-blowing, how much I’ve even changed since then.
Yeah, you’ve got a mustache now! [Laughs] If I go naked face, I look like I’m 12. That’s what I’m saying there’s some cis guys who can barely grow [facial hair]. I can grow more than they can, and that was that was the hardest part to get over and realize: we’re all humans here. We’re going through the day the same way, hoping for the best.
What sort of advice would you give your younger self? I’ve kind of actually done that a little bit over the years. I’ve had people who have been questioning if they’re trans or how to go about it. One of my good friends is actually starting to transition. What I tell them is: do what makes you happy. I didn’t really have anybody to show me the ropes of being trans; I kind of figured it out myself, with YouTube videos and the Internet. At the same time, you don’t know what’s true and what’s not. I’ve learned to just go at your own pace. Not every trans guy has to have top surgery. Not every trans guy is on testosterone. Whatever makes you comfortable. You’ve gotta live with you 24/7; nobody else does. So why not? I do wish someone would have told me you don’t need to be hypermasculine. You don’t need to live up to some certain stereotype or be modeled after somebody else. Just because you’re a trans guy, and you identified as lesbian before, that doesn’t mean you can’t explore and see what fits best for you. There’s a lot of things that I was paranoid about for the longest time. Especially the bathrooms. And how do my jeans look. Are they gonna notice? Worried is my voice deep enough? Do they know? I’ve come to just kind of get over that. It’s little things like that you get weird about.
Is that a typical price for top surgery? It can be a couple grand lower. I went to the second best [doctor in the country]. That’s not something you wanna go Walmart shopping for. I’ve seen some botched stuff, and that just sets you way back. He was actually up in Cleveland. It was nice. But yeah, that’s the typical range. Unfortunately, my insurance didn’t cover TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
And then my top surgery. At first, I was scared to take off my shirt in public. I didn’t want to go to a public pool or anything like that. I was nervous someone was gonna say something about my scars. Now, I had my shirt off all weekend. I really just I don’t care. I paid six grand for it, so I’m going to show it off a little bit, get my money’s worth.
COVER STORY What kind of responses did you get about that original Quorum article?
my own mother. My friends, who I’ve been friends with for a couple years, that’s a little bit easier.
My job’s kind of a blue collar job, and I was surprised that a lot of people had positive feedback. I don’t get discriminated against at work. I also did a little story on ABC a couple years ago. Some more coworkers saw that, and they’re just like, you’re a dude, there’s nothing to it. I was very impressed with that.
That’d be another thing I would tell to someone who is transitioning: be patient with your loved ones. When using your new name and new pronouns and stuff like that. Because you’re kind of a new person. You gotta give both ways. If you want them to start accepting you as this, you gotta let them take it at their own pace.
That’s another thing, too; I need to learn to not expect the worst from people. Not everybody’s an asshole. There’s a lot out there but not everybody. And that’s only fair. To give someone a chance if I want them to give me a chance.
That was a real struggle. And when you first start testosterone, your hormones are wacko. I was a pretty angry young man for a little bit. That’d be another thing; watch out for that. The changes come pretty quick, within the first couple weeks or so. After that, you’ll mellow out and start being your normal self.
I’ve had other people who were inspired [by my story] to look more into those feelings of whether they’re trans or not. All I wanted is to say is, hey, this is normal. We’re not freaks. We’re just like every other person except we’re a little different. It’s scary, yes, and there are bad people out there. But it’s better than not being alive, and it’s getting a lot better.
Also, I try to tell people: always see a doctor. Always have a doctor’s prescription. Don’t buy off a friend or the black market. It’s not something to mess around with. Hormones are pretty powerful. Always go see a doctor. I get physicals twice a year, and then once by my company, too.
My brother-in-law is an Army recruiter. He’s been asking me questions, and that’s pretty awesome. I have this policy that, as long as you’re not coming off in a mean way about your question, I’ll answer it, no matter how personal. Because that’s how you get people to accept you and not think of you as some freak. You’re always scared of what you don’t know. I’m happy to answer anybody’s questions, and I almost always do. I love to educate. That’s why I did the magazine; that’s why I did the news. And that’s why I’m doing this again, because the more you get it out there, the more you normalize it, and it’s no big deal to anybody.
Did you have complications with anything? Nope. I’m super lucky. I’m one of the more positive stories. I’m well aware of how lucky I am to have a family who accepts me, my friends who accept me, people at work. I have a good job, and a good majority [of my coworkers] know I’m trans. They hired me knowing I’m trans. That’s a real positive. I’m very lucky with everything I have. I have my bad days, just like everybody else. But I try to keep myself grounded and say hey, there’s other trans people who got kicked out for coming out… It’s sad. And it sucks. This is why I do this stuff, to try and get more people accepted so those kids don’t get kicked out and discriminated against.
I don’t want to just be Brian the Trans Guy. And I’m not. I’m sure a good chunk of the community knows, but that’s not their only description of me. But I don’t mind that either, because it’s not something to be embarrassed about. Again, I’m just trying to normalize it. Show people that I’m just like anybody else. I got my problems, and family issues, and whatnot.
Because there’s no reason to. They’re just human beings. We’re not crazy. A sad statistic that I hated reading recently was that 40% of trans kids commit or attempt suicide. And I’m part of that statistic. It sucks. That’s almost half, and that’s scary. I want to see that number drop in my lifetime. Obviously, that’s a lot to ask for, but it’s sad. Because they don’t have anywhere to turn to, not one person, and that’s not how it should be.
The family has been great. Recently, I showed my mom one of my side-byside pictures. It was [a photo from] sophomore year of high school and a picture from a couple years ago. It’s like, look what a difference 12 years makes. My sophomore picture was like long hair and girly, overcompensating. My mom told me, “You know, I know that was you, but I don’t see that anymore.”
[Note: According to a July 2018 study (“Transgender Adolescent Suicide Behavior”) by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the rates of attempted suicides by trans adolescents are 50.8% for female-to-male youth, 41.8% for non-binary/ gender nonconforming youth, and 29.9% for maleto-female youth.]
That means a lot. Because in the beginning, it was a struggle with both of my parents. Switching pronouns and using my new name. It was a screaming match. Now, I realize I was being a complete jackass. You know, she’s known me that way for 24 years, and it’s doesn’t happen overnight. That’s 12 | OCTOBER 2018
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
COVER STORY
So you had two coming outs. Was one of them harder than the other? What was that like? I think they were pretty even. I didn’t really get a backlash for coming out as a lesbian, and same with being trans. But then again, I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve got a lot of really good people around me. They accept me as me. I think coming out as trans was both easy and hard. It was easy because I finally figured it out, and I just wanted to tell everybody. For the longest time, I couldn’t put my finger on it. Lesbian was the closest I could get. It was hard because... Coming out as a lesbian, you know, my mom knew some gay people. They never really had issues with that; I never heard them talk bad about it or anything. But coming out as trans? That’s a whole different thing. I don’t think my mom ever heard of that word. I didn’t hear of that word until I watched Boys Don’t Cry, and I was probably 14. Especially with my dad, coming out as trans was slightly harder. But it felt a lot better.
When did you realize you were trans? I think I always had the thought. I remember researching it back to like, sixth grade. I didn’t really understand it. But at 12 years old, what do you understand? Down in Florida, right before I moved back [to Ohio], I had met this girl. She was in the queer scene. She called me out on it. And I started thinking more and more and more about it. I was like, “Yeah, I think you’re right.” I ended up moving back here to Ohio, and shortly after started coming out and doing my thing. Starting the transition and getting the ball rolling. It was when I came back home that I sat there with a bottle of pills, just staring at them. It was basically do or die. So I chose to do. And I’m glad I did. I’m not going to say that every day is hunky dory and rainbows and butterflies, but it’s way better than where I was. I’m so much happier, and so much freer to explore other sides of me than just constantly worrying about what my body looks like. Life is so much better.
Photo by Emily Hirzel. If you or someone you know may be at risk of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If you’re a young LGBTQ person and need to talk to someone, call The Trevor Project’s 24-hour crisis hotline for youth at 1-866-488-7386. If you are a transgender person of any age, call the Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860.
TRANS VIEW
The Deal With Name Changes The 20th of November is Transgender Day of Remembrance. By Daniel Tirabassi
TRANS VIEW local agency to issue the new license. Ohio currently does not amend birth certificates to reflect transition, but that is another issue for another time. The other three documents tend to follow in line — and everything starts with the legal name change. Most people believe that a name change policy covers the entire state. However, this is not the case in Ohio. Name change policies for transgender people actually vary from county to county in Ohio. This is not only confusing, but it makes the task of changing one’s name even more daunting and scary. The variations are in every aspect of a name change. Things such as fees and cost differ depending on the county. Other variations include questions asked by a magistrate or judge. There are differences in how to file, where to find paperwork and how long it takes to obtain a court date. The easiest counties to change one’s name due to transition are Cuyahoga, Trumbull and Mahoning. These counties not only make filing a breeze by including the cost of legal notification in their fees, but they ask little to no questions about where you are in the process or how you deal with the process. They have pretty standard waiting times for court dates (two to three months, depending on the size of the list of cases before the court). Other counties in Ohio are not so transfriendly. A Kenton County judge openly admitted to one transgender person who was getting a name change that the process is rather invasive if you say it is for a transition. The judge went on to say that the court requires judges to ask over a dozen questions related to surgeries, mental illness and any medical procedures had to transition in order to grant the change. This is not only invasive, but highly degrading to the transgender person looking to change their name. Every year on that day, we remember the transgender people that were violently murdered for no reason but living their authentic lives. One other major issue that plagues many transgender people is when the name on their identification does not match who they truly are. This issue is remedied by legally changing one’s name and gender marker on driver’s licenses, birth certificates, passports and social security cards. Changing one’s gender marker on their driver’s license in Ohio is as simple as having a doctor fill out paperwork provided by the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and turning it into a
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enough to decide who they are, and that their parents have no right to allow them to “indulge this fantasy.” To make matters worse in this case, Judge Kirby blatantly referred to the teen by their birth name and by the incorrect pronouns numerous times. Not only does this show disregard for the request of a name change, this also disrespects the people requesting the change. It is also hard to say if these were isolated incidents or if this is how Judge Kirby rules all the time. Luckily, there is help for those needing it to navigate through the name change process. TransOhio, a nonprofit group based out of Columbus, takes volunteer lawyers all over the state to hold Name Change Clinics. This group assists transgender people in filling out the paperwork, understanding the process of a name change and even has a way to provide assistance with fees to those who may need it. TransOhio has hosted clinics in Columbus, Youngstown, Akron, Athens, Lima and many other cities over the past few years. As a person who has gone through the process myself, I know that understanding the basics of it helped me greatly. Though many counties in Ohio make it a breeze, it is scary not knowing what counties are friendly and what ones make it a hassle. I do not have a complete list of how each county handles name changes; however, my friends at TransOhio have told me that most counties keep it simple and are not invasive. There seem to only be a few that attempt to cross a line when it comes to questioning. (The incident with Judge Kirby seems to be the only real example of its kind.) Though the process is intimidating, the end result is worth it. For most Ohioans, the name change process seems way scarier than it actually is. It is a large weight to be lifted when it is over and done.
The process gets even more complicated if the person is a minor. Though a minor can legally get a name change if both parents signing off on the request before going through the same hearing process as an adult, some counties have taken it upon themselves to override the parents’ decision. In a court out of Warren County, Judge Joseph Kirby denied two transgender teenagers their name changes. In one of his decisions, Kirby wrote, “Is [the teen’s] distress brought about by confusion, peer pressure, or other non-transgender issues — or is it truly a mismatch between her gender identity and her body.” In other words, the judge decided that these teens were not old
Daniel Tirabassi is a trans man whose goal in life is to make the process of transitioning easier for the next generation. OCTOBER 2018 | 15
ARTS
Creation Space We’ve collected some of our favorite readersubmitted art and literature! About the Artist: Luke Boyd is a Graduate student at Ohio University in the Painting and Drawing program. He received a Bachelor’s degree in art from California State University Bakersfield in 2015. His professional objective is to invest in the education and lives of others as an art professor. Boyd’s current research combines baking and painting to discuss themes of memory, desire and queer identity. You can check out his art online at www.lukejboyd.com or on Instagram @lucalisboyd.
About the Poet: Emily Radebaugh is 22-year old student from Toledo, Ohio, who is currently attending Kent State University as an American Sign Language/English Interpreting major. She truly believes that supporting the LGBTQ+ community is incredibly important. Emily wants everyone to know that even though depression is real, support systems are too; and never be afraid to be who you are and find your niche. As a person who is a part of the LGBTQ+ community, she wants to share that it is never too late to figure out who you really are.
Pineapple upside down cake, painting By Luke Boyd
ARTS
Find Yourself
By Emily Radebaugh Hands that have been shaking Have finally fallen still A chest clenched so tight Has finally unwound itself Lungs that barely grasp air Have felt a relieving gust of wind Are you happy for me? I ask myself in the mirror With a light heart A mind running ragged Has finally emptied itself Of fear and panic A faint smile Tiptoed across my lips I felt it In my heart In my aching bones Traveling through muscles That have been tense for so long Truth is We’re all different But there’s something Kind of fantastic About that, isn’t there? And the best thing To hold on to in life Is each other Because once you find yourself Everyone else will find you, too
About the Photographer: Kimberly Burton is a 24-year old bisexual woman. She currently lives in Bowling Green, Ohio, where she is studying Visual Communication. Along with being a student, she is a mother of one wonderful boy and a cat-mom to two rambunctious cats. You can follow her photography Instagram @krbphotography94. Untitled, digital photograph By Kimberly Burton TRUE Q MAGAZINE
OCTOBER 2018 | 17
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DEVELOPMENT
Complete Our Streets Complete Streets are safe and accessible for all users, including people of all ages and abilities who walk, bike, scoot, drive or take public transit.
Photo by J.M. Rayburn.
By J.M. Rayburn In metropolitan areas, some problems cannot be solved within municipal boundaries, and decisions made by one city can have adverse impacts on other cities or even the environment (which impacts us all). Pollution and inefficient use of resources and infrastructure (land, water, air, housing, rivers, roads, energy, etc.) are examples of problems that spill over municipal boundaries. It’s why regional coordination and planning is crucial for the success of undertakings that are too large or complex for any one unit of government to address. In the urban planning industry, we often refer to this pooling of resources and consensus-building as regionalism. To help further regionalism, most metropolitan areas have something called a metropolitan planning organization (MPO). Ours is called the Mid-Ohio Regional Planning Commission, or MORPC for short. At a recent MORPC meeting, we celebrated the growing list of communities that have adopted some form of a Complete Streets policy. But it also became apparent that many central Ohio communities still lack such a policy. Last month, we kicked off this column the topic of mobility with a dive into the world of electric bikes and scooters for rent. This month, let’s go a little deeper and talk about Complete Streets. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Complete streets are streets for everyone. They are designed and maintained to enable safe access for all users, including people of all ages and abilities who walk, bike, scoot, drive or take public transit. It sounds pretty simple, but it’s actually a very disruptive policy, because it challenges the “we’ve always done it this way” mindset. Okay, maybe not always, but certainly since the mid-20th century. Think federal highway building, suburbanization and 20th century urban renewal projects. Transportation planning and design has instead created hundreds of miles of “incomplete” streets — those without safe places to walk, bike, scoot or take public transit. According to Smart Growth America, such streets are particularly dangerous for people of color, older adults, children and those living in low-income communities. These populations suffer disproportionately from poor street design and increased likelihood of illness, injury and death. They are also more likely to be cut off from jobs, doctors, friends and family, and to pay out much more of their budget to transportation than their counterparts. It’s why the Complete Streets movement has evolved to focus far more on implementation and equity — and rightfully so. There are a few ways to bring Complete Streets to your community. The first step is education. In January 2010, MORPC received a grant from the Ohio Department of Health’s
Statewide Wellness and Obesity Prevention program to develop a Complete Streets toolkit and conduct outreach on the importance of creating a transportation system that provides mobility options to all users. The toolkit and other relevant resources are available online at www.morpc.org/tool-resource/complete-streets/. The next step is to do a little field work. Get out in your community and make a list of your best streets and worst streets through the lens of Complete Streets. One of my favorite local examples of a complete street is the stretch of Summit Street between Hudson Street and E. 11th Avenue. There are sidewalks on both sides of the street, crosswalks, a two-way protected bike lane, street trees and pedestrian safety islands. Now compare that to Polaris Parkway. The last step is to show up to your local city council or neighborhood commission meetings and press the issue when the floor is open to public comment. Repeat as necessary. J.M. Rayburn is an urban planner with the City of Dublin, Realtor with Coldwell Banker King Thompson and neighborhood commissioner for the 5th by Northwest neighborhood of Columbus. Opinions are his own and not the views of his employers. OCTOBER 2018 | 19
FEATURE
It Takes A Village: The Public Health Dayton & Montgomery County LGBTQ Health Initiatives This health alliance in southwestern Ohio is paving the way for more comprehensive and culturally competent healthcare targeted towards the LGBTQ+ community. This included identifying LGBTQ+ people and organizations (like local LGBTQ+ service organizations and nightclubs), allies and people from other communities (such as representation from the Muslim community). According to Jerry, the group is “truly an impressive cross-section of people and organizations.” Each action team has a specific focus, and is tasked with engaging the community to address issues. The LGBTQ Health Initiatives Alliance currently is made up of six teams: • Aging • Youth • Cultural competence • Transgender issues • Mental health, substance abuse and violence • Outreach and awareness
Health Alliance LGBT Aging Conference planning committee.
By Kaylee Duff In April 2018, Public Health Dayton & Montgomery County (PHDMC) started the LGBTQ Health Initiatives Program in response to the staggering health disparities in the community. Their motivations were the LGBTQ community’s tortured healthcare history, the minority stress model approach that explains minority health disparities, such as higher risks of some cancers and diabetes in lesbians, higher risks of HIV and other STDs in gay men and queer folks of color, and higher rates of smoking, substance abuse/addiction and suicide. The overall goal is to help improve the health of LGBTQ people across their lifespan — whether it’s LGBTQ parents with a newborn or an older adult needing home care. Today, the LGBTQ Health Initiatives effort is led by Jerry Mallicoat and a coalition of six action teams known as the LGBTQ Health Alliance. Jerry has been involved with the LGBTQ+ community around the area for several years, and relied on his experience with major healthcare organizations and a network of community activists and colleagues to select the people and organizations serving with the Health Alliance. “We wanted people who could influence their organizations and who also have personal credibility and influence as individuals in the community,” Jerry explained. “We also wanted to ensure that we took a multicultural and intersectional approach to building the Alliance as well.” 20 | OCTOBER 2018
D’On Ingram, Health Alliance member and HIV specialist, with Jerry Mallicoat at Dayton Pride.
The action items were determined through a prioritization survey taken by Alliance members towards the beginning stages of the initiative. Members ranked items in order of importance, and were given the opportunity to make suggestions and offer additional information. They were then sorted into teams based on their ranked priorities. Two items (LGBTQ equity in childhood adoption processes and prevalence of tobacco use) were deferred; PHDMC is working on customizing existing smoking cessation programs and finding local partners to address adoption issues in the near future. Some of the action teams already have big plans in the works — and the other teams aren’t far behind. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
FEATURE The action team working with aging is currently planning an LGBT aging conference, called LGBT Horizons of Aging Summit on Feb. 11 and 12, 2019. “Older people in general get marginalized and that is more prevalent with older LGBTQ people, who face higher risk of isolation due to discrimination and stigma and because many lack the traditional support networks of family and children,” the Aging Team said. The conference is aiming to educate senior service providers, the healthcare community, and older LGBTQ adults on such issues, and will involve several local organizations. “We want older LGBTQ adults to be able to live safe and affirmed lives as they age, using the resilience and crisis competence they developed gained by fighting for equality and surviving throughout their younger years,” they explained. The Aging Team is also forming groups to explore affordable LGBTQ-inclusive senior housing and to help field a survey to assess the needs of local older LGBTQ+ adults.
Jerry Mallicoat (left) with Alliance organization member Rainbow Elder Care at Dayton Pride.
lack of knowledge among healthcare providers.” For this reason, they are relying heavily on the personal experiences of trans people, in order to determine what next steps to take. The Mental Health Team is working to address disparities pertaining to mental health issues, such as depression, caused by the negative stigma surrounding and abundant discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community. They are focusing on prevention and addressing unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or smoking, as well issues such as suicide, abuse and violence, as well as self-harm. Although each team is working together towards one main goal — better healthcare for the local LGBTQ+ population — the Outreach/ Awareness Team will promote team efforts in order to get the word out about services, events and culturally competent care. “There is still education needed to help dispel stereotypes and myths about LGBT people, and to help make LGBT people aware of the health services available to them,” they explain. “If LGBT people know that service and healthcare providers are LGBT culturally competent and affirming, then people will more likely seek out the services and health care that they need versus being fearful or avoiding care.” Jerry Mallicoat, LGTBQ Health Initiatives Manager.
Another action team is addressing the needs of LGBTQ+ youth, working with local gay-straight student alliance groups to determine priorities. The Youth Action Team is working with an Alliance member from Dayton Public Schools to plan an LGBTQ+ youth discussion panel at the upcoming Ohio School Nurse Association Conference in Dayton in March 2019. “Across all channels of learning and communication, one important theme emerges: there is a dearth of culturally competent care in our community.” This is the reason that one action team is addressing cultural competence when it comes to LGBTQ-targeted healthcare. The Cultural Competence Action Team has already started developing LGBTQ+ cultural competence training and community outreach. “This is a major undertaking that, once implemented, will change the landscape of care for LGBTQ people in our area,” they said. The other three groups — focusing on Transgender Issues; Mental Health, Substance Abuse and Violence; and Outreach/Awareness — are still working on developing their approaches to addressing their areas of need. “There is serious misunderstanding among the general public — and even in the LGBTQ community — about transgender identity,” said the Transgender Issues Team. “Healthcare issues tend to be more complex for transgender people and they experience extreme discrimination and
Looking forward, the Health Alliance expects to have a lasting beneficial effect on the local community. “We expect that the teams will help create a safety net of care/support for LGBTQ people who may be struggling to receive the culturally competent care and services they need or who may have financial challenges in accessing care,” Jerry said. They want to be able to connect community members to qualified services and healthcare professionals that can provide effective care . The Health Alliance is one of the first in the state (Columbus started a similar collaborative effort a few years ago), and expectations are high. “Everyone is really excited to be involved and anxious to accomplish things, but at the same time, we are treading on new ground and still feeling our way a bit,” Jerry admitted. “But there is such wonderful expertise and passion among our Alliance members that it is really motivating and fulfilling — sometimes overwhelming to the point of happy tears.” He continued: “Communities are sustainable only through collaboration. There is tremendous truth in the adage ‘it takes a village’ and that certainly is true when it comes to good health. When people build something together and take ownership, then there is the opportunity for lasting effect and impact.”
The PHDMC LGBTQ Health Initiatives are a shining example of the good that is born from diverse and intersectional parties coming together for the benefit of the community. In a perfect world, all healthcare around the world would be equitable and comprehensive, but until then, the community is grateful for Visit the PHDMC LGBTQ Health Initiatives website at efforts such as this groundbreaking LGBTQ www.phdmc.org/client-services/lgbtq-care for more information and resources. Health Alliance.
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
OCTOBER 2018 | 21
FEATURE
The Truth About Becoming A Foster Parent By Candelaria Mota We’ve heard the statistics time and time again. There are nearly 438,000 children in foster care in the United States. According to the National Foster Youth Institute, tens of thousands of children in the foster care system were taken away from their parents after extreme abuse. Reports of abuse, abandonment or neglect affect our children every single day across our communities.
In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, the National Youth Advocate Program (NYAP) dispels common myths about foster care. NYAP’s primary focus is on the children, youth and families they serve through their various programs. Their Foster To Adopt program supports foster parents looking to adopt their foster child or youth.
These issues take place right under our noses. For that reason, the time to give back is now. If someone has been thinking about becoming a foster parent and doesn’t know whether they qualify, National Youth Advocate Program (NYAP) is here to help you navigate this journey. We recognize there are many common misconceptions, so allow us to dispel some concerns you may have: • You can be single, married, divorced, renting, working full-time and have any other circumstances going on in your life. • We understand life is busy and can be demanding, so NYAP makes it easy for you to foster through simple processes, trained professionals and 24/7 available support. • If you aren’t sure how to get started, know the first step towards becoming a foster parent is completing a training course. On average, these courses are a number of weeks long. Following completion of this training, prospective foster parents are required to complete identifying paperwork and the home study process begins. The entire process may take up to three months. If you’re determined to get licensed in a timely way, we will work with you to make this process as easy and smooth as possible for you.
NYAP needs individuals willing to open their heart and home to a child deserving stable and quality care. The opportunity to give back to a child in need is available to you. Help us to embrace this great privilege and call us today: 877-NYAP-CAN. For more information on becoming a foster parent, feel free to visit us at www.nyap.org.
Candelaria (Candy) Mota is currently serving as Director of Community Impact for the NYAP. Over the past 14 years, Candy has enjoyed her role in child welfare and has a deep passion for helping youth and families. Born and raised in the South Bronx, Candy has served her community through community organizing, case management services, counseling and advocacy across needed groups. Candy earned her Associates Degree in Human Services from Bronx Community College and her Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Hunter College. Shortly after completing her undergraduate degree, she moved to South Florida where she completed her Master’s Degree in Mental Health at Nova Southeastern University. She enjoys serving her Columbus community and is proud to call it home. 22 | OCTOBER 2018
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Become a NYAP foster parent. www.nyap.org
877-NYAP-CAN
VOICES
In Their Own Words Members of the transgender community share their stories, in honor of Transgender Awareness Month and Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20). Max Benson I can remember from a young age that I didn’t feel how the other kids did. I wanted to wear boy clothes, do boy stuff and look like a boy. I never thought this was normal from a young age, so I repressed these thoughts and feelings for a long time. As I got older, it got harder and harder to push these feelings away. When I graduated high school and started college, I began to discover a new world in regards to the queer community. I knew what transgender meant but I always had misinformation about it. As I got older, I realized that I was, in fact, transgender. In September of 2016, I had an eye opening experience where I realized I wanted to transition, and I did. I was so nervous to tell all my friends and family, but I knew it was something I needed to do for my own sanity and wellbeing. All of my friends were accepting and loving about my coming out. I started off slow, telling my closest friends. I was 24 | OCTOBER 2018
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VOICES
really nervous to tell my parents, because I didn’t know how they would react. I called my mom and just started crying and told her I wanted to live my life as a man. She told me she didn’t completely understand, but told me, “I don’t care if you’re purple, I’ll still love you either way.” I told my father shortly after, and his reaction was much different. He was confused and felt like he was losing his daughter. It was difficult for us both, but someone told me that your family transitions with you, and that reminded me to stay patient with my parents. I’ve had a fortunate transition, and most of the people in my life have been very accepting and loving. I’ve been on hormones since 2016, and I’ve never felt happier with my appearance. I’m so happy that the person I always imagined myself to be is finally a reality. If my transition can have any impact on others, I hope it allows others to realize they too can live their life as genuinely as they possibly can.
In January 1982, at OSU Hospital, I had my surgery. Another coming out party. I presently am one of the owners of the Southbend Tavern. Occasionally, I still perform to raise money for different charities. I am a volunteer for Kaleidoscope Youth Center. Their ages are 12 to 20 years old. They are LGBTQ+ and some are homeless. I volunteer with the group Genderscope. I am writing my life story so it may help others. Remember whoever you are, you can do and be whatever you want.
Connie Hukill I grew up in Columbus, Ohio, originally in the Southend until I was three, and then we moved to the North Linden area. My parents were Italian, Hungarian and strict Catholics. I was always very religious. I think mostly because the only one I could talk to was God. When I was four years old, I realized I was different. I can remember people always asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I always wanted to say, “A girl!” I knew I couldn’t because boys aren’t supposed to want to be a girl, are they? I was born in 1951; in those days, things like that couldn’t be discussed. So this is why I prayed a lot. I didn’t know why I had those strong feelings, but I was smart enough to not tell anyone, for fear of being put away in the “loony bin.”
Alekzander Hammond
When I was 19, I moved to California. I was running away and starting a whole new life, and boy, did I. I stayed with my cousin, Clarice, and her husband, Art. They knew I was very naive. Art said, “California is very different here. Be careful. A lot of people do drugs and a lot of people are gay.” I thought to myself, “I’m sure they are happy and gay if they’re on drugs.” I had no idea what that gay was, until six months later.
Hearing so much hate lately, it’s easy to start believing the bad. To start believing that – in some way – I’m bad. That my identity is wrong and no matter what I do, I will never be the man I feel like. And in some ways, that’s right. I will never be a man exactly like cis men. I will probably never have bottom surgery and my chest will have scars on it and I will take weekly shots for the rest of my life.
I worked in a Denny’s. One day, one of the regulars, Nina, said, “What are you doing when you get off work?” I had no plans. I knew no one expect my cousins and some of their friends. Nina said, “Go to a party with me!” So, I did. I loved to drink, so a party was right up my alley. And what a party it was! I experienced smoking my first joint, later to find out it was laced with angel dust.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not exactly who I say I am. I am a brother, a son, a grandson, a coworker, a friend. I am my own unique version of whatever gender I want to be, and no one can ever take that away. So, with all the hate recently, just remember: you are exactly who you say you are. No one’s opinion can ever change that.
Later on, Nina said, “Come on. Let’s go see a show.” So we did, but not a picture show as I thought, even though it turned out to be a great show. We walked into this nightclub. I first thought, “I should have dressed better for this.” On stage was Marilyn Monroe (or not). Then the next performer was Judy Garland. “Wait,” I said to myself. “This is 1971 and they’re dead.” Then came out Diana Ross. I looked at NIna and said, “Where are we and why?” Nina said, “They are guys who dress as women and perform. Just like you want to.” “How did you know?” I asked. She said, “I just sensed it in you.” Nina then said, “Well, am I right?” Of course, she was. I went back stage that night and met the performers. We hung around for months together, shopping, rehearsals, etc. Sugar Kay, who looked so real, was on hormones. This is when I learned a lot about gay life and people loving, working together, and of course, a lot of parting. I moved back to Columbus when I was 20. I didn’t know where the gay bars were, but I eventually found them and so many of my dead friends I still have today. I met Georgia Jackson, Charlotte Parr and Brand LaMonte. We were thick as thieves. We started the first show bar at the corner of Gay and High, called Vic’s Hideaway. After the show, we waited tables. This was a straight bar. Drag was illegal! But we did it anyway.
Photos of Alekzander before and after transitioning.
DRAG TALK
What I’m Thankful For Here’s three things that this drag queen is grateful for this year! thankful for as a drag queen. Then I am going to share where you can either get those things or make them yourself! Let’s get started. The three things I am thankful for are: wigs, makeup and padding! Three very important things for a drag queen. When you are looking for the perfect wig, sometimes they can’t just be bought from a wig store on Cleveland Avenue. Sometimes you have to buy tracks or ponytail wigs to sew together to make a wig. My favorite type of wigs are ponytail wigs. The wigs are much fuller and you can tease the hair so it has more height. If you’d ask any queen that loves big hair, they’d say, “The bigger the hair the closer to God.” If you don’t believe me, just ask my friend Jada Fenix-Lorez! Personally, I like big hair but I find nothing wrong with short wigs. I think sometimes it’s easier to throw them on and go! I like to call them my little shake and go’s! Shake and go wigs can be found at pretty much any wig store! Next up: makeup. You really want to take your hair color into consideration when you are buying or applying makeup. Eyebrows are important; you don’t want blonde eyebrows with black hair, so here’s a piece of friendly advice — make sure your eyebrows and wigs match. For drag queens the best advice I can give is “CoverGirl does not cover boy!” I think my friend John Sparaco, owner of Midnight
Jennifer Lynn Ali, Miss Southbend 2018.
By Jeff Skinner It’s November and wow, does time fly when you’re having fun! I can’t believe it’s the month where I will be joining others to do No Shave November! That is something I am very excited for. There’s a lot of things this month 26 | OCTOBER 2018
that are going on! No Shave November, Trans Awareness Month and Thanksgiving. November is also a month where I like to share things that I am thankful for (and I also like to eat)! Growing up, my favorite thing was to talk to my family about what I was thankful for, so I have picked out three things that I am
Reianna Ali has the perfect hair, makeup and body! TRUE Q MAGAZINE
DRAG TALK You can go somewhere like Walmart and buy a nice bra, and while you’re there, pick up some pantyhose. Then head over to the pet section and grab some bird seed! Once you get home, take that pair of pantyhose and cut off them off at the knees (or you can just buy knee high tights, but both work). Fill the foot of the pantyhose up with bird seed, tie it up and wrap the excess pantyhose around the bird seed. That’s your boobs! Put them in your bra and you’ve got great breasts! The next step to complete your hourglass figure is some hips! My hips are made out of a couch cushion from my mom’s couch, but you can always find foam at JOANN Fabrics! Cut the foam to look like the shape of Africa, and that’ll give you hips and butt! Making hip pads can be tricky, but there are helpful tools that make it easier. You can use scissors, but if you want to go faster, I would recommend using a turkey carver! You should have one of those handy because it is Thanksgiving month, after all. I know you’re probably shocked that the three things I am thankful for didn’t include rhinestones. Until next time, shine bright, my friends. Laughter & Love, Jennifer Lynn Ali
My friend Jada Fenix-Lorez loves her big hair.
Diva Makeup, would agree with me! If you need any type of drag makeup, I highly recommend John! John has been a huge help in my drag career. He always makes sure I am fully stocked on essentials like makeup and eyelashes. (Thanks John!) Makeup is a lot of fun; you only have to remember there’s no wrong way to do it! Makeup tip: Just make sure you BLEND! Blending is super important. You wanna make sure you blend your eyeshadows and contour so it’s not too harsh. Lastly, padding! Padding is very important for drag queens! You want to make sure you have that hourglass figure that men usually don’t naturally have. So, you have to add padding. If you’re wondering how we get that perfect figure, keep reading! First is the breasts. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
My favorite drag makeup brand. OCTOBER 2018 | 27
FEATURE
You Are Ohio’s #OneTrueVoice Here’s some featured snapshots from the state’s favorite LGBTQ+ events and hangouts!
Photo by Chris Leaming. Photo by Jeff Skinner.
Come Out To Vote Press Conference - October 4 Early Voting and Party - October 11
Ohio Gay Pride Pageantry September 28-29 This Hawaiian Luau at Axis was presented by Ohio Gay Pride Pageantry! They crowned 2019 Miss Ohio Gay Pride Femme and Mr Ohio Gay Pride King in this special twonight drag contest.
Photo by Jeff Skinner.
The Come Out To Vote Coalition consisted of over 12 local LGBTQ+ organizations and leaders who banded together to encourage equality-minded voters to vote early on National Coming Out Day. The events started with a press conference at the Ohio Statehouse, featuring Chad Griffin, President of the Human Rights Campaign. The Party featured speakers such as Columbus Mayor Andrew Ginther and Columbus City Council President Shannon Hardin, and other performers, music and dancing.
Photo by KRForbesPhotography.
The Masquerade October 5 The Masquerade helped raise over $135,000 through sponsorships, donations and pledges for the Kaleidoscope Youth Center. Nina West and Virginia West hosted this cocktail party, which was held at the Jeffrey Mansion.
Photo by Mike Miller.
Photo courtesy of Michael Philpot.
Masque Monday Open Stage
Photo by KRForbesPhotography. 28 | OCTOBER 2018
Dayton-local drag superstar Amaya Sexton hosting the Monday Open Stage at the oen of the hottest gay bars and dance clubs in the area.
Photo by Allison Willford. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
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