Trade Locally Issue 78

The

Dr Hamid Sarwar

NEEDED: Volunteer Chief Campaign Officer

You can be the person in Stoke on Trent/ Newcastle under Lyme to spearhead a national campaign to alleviate millions of us suffering because the General Practice in England is one of the worst in the World for GP Access. You could be the saviour to whom all of us would owe a debt of gratitude for generations to come.

With qualities of compassion, leadership, and innovation, you can gather volunteers in the various fields to start an unstoppable momentum to convince the Government to make changes in the General Practice through legislation within the budgetary constraints.

The Campaign Slogan

Two weeks Wait to Get a GP Appointment is UNACCEPTABLE Treatment by telephone for 118 hours every week out of 168 is DISGRACEFUL

Same day, face-to-face GP Treatment 24/7 is Achievable Join the Campaign to Change www.nhsrevolution.org

The ‘NHS General Practice Revolution’ book would act as a campaign manual to prove without a reasonable doubt that same day, face-to-face GP treatment 24/7 is achievable. You can go to the website www.nhsrevolution.org to have a quick browse before buying the book (just £4, all royalties to a charity )

Please write for an initial chat to: contact@nhsrevolution.org www.nhsrevolution.org

THE NHS GENERAL PRACTICE

HOME IMPROVEMENTS

WHY CARPETS ARE MAKING A COMEBACK

For a long time now, hard flooring has been making all the running – think solid oak floorboards, limestone tiles and even lino! But in the background, carpets have quietly been making a comeback. Hard flooring may be aesthetically pleasing, easy to clean and hardwearing, but carpets are warm and cosy, elegant and sophisticated and often cheaper too.

Traditionally, wool carpets have ruled the roost while artificial fibres were seen as cheap and nasty. Developments in materials technology have made a big difference though. Modern fibres repel stains, reducing one of the biggest problems with carpets – keeping them clean. Today’s artificial fibres also produce less static electricity and have a higher quality look and feel, particularly when combined with natural fibres like wool. They also make luxurious deep pile carpets much more affordable.

But carpets aren’t just about warmth and comfort, they can add drama and style to your home. Striped carpet makes a feature out of the tightest

of stairwells and the narrowest of halls or landings. If you are lucky enough to possess an oak staircase, a carpet runner down the centre makes the perfect finishing touch. A big expanse of tiles or wooden flooring can look bland and boring; a strategically placed rug adds interest and will keep your toes warm on those cold mornings. There are even businesses that custom make rugs to match the carpets in the rest of your home.

A sweep of pale cream carpet adds light and space to a small bedroom whereas pale grey carpets give a feeling of elegance and sophistication. Patterned carpets, particularly those with a traditional motif, make a large room more intimate and give it a sense of grandeur.

Carpets are much cheaper than products like solid oak flooring, cheap enough to make replacing them regularly a feasible option. They can be fitted in hours rather than days and, unlike tiles, fitting is included in the price. It’s time to bring carpets out of the bedroom and into your living spaces.

HOME IMPROVEMENTS

SURPRISINGLY STRAIGHTFORWARD SECURITY SYSTEMS

Fitting a burglar alarm used to be a complicated and expensive business involving consultants, installers and miles of cabling. These days, it is simple, cheap and often a DIY job, providing you are patient and reasonably competent. This is all thanks to the internet, wireless technology and the invention of the smartphone.

A modern home security system has several elements. At the heart of it is the base station, basically a small computer that is connected to your router and, through that, all the other elements of the system. Then there are breach sensors that are fitted to the external doors and downstairs windows which notify the base station if any of them are opened. Next up are movement sensors installed in rooms that any intruder would have to pass through to reach the rest of the property. A keypad and fob are used to manually set and disarm the alarm, although this can also be done remotely via your phone, while a siren, which goes off if any of the sensors are tripped, acts as a deterrent to would-be intruders.

Interior and exterior cameras enable you to see what is going on at the property, again remotely via your phone.

Specifying a home security system is surprisingly straightforward. Go onto the website of any of the main suppliers, state how many exterior doors and ground floor windows you have and specify how many movement sensors and cameras you need. The site will then work out a suitable package and calculate a price – usually under £500, even for a sizeable property.

It makes sense to fit the system yourself if possible. The sensors, cameras, keypad and siren are just screwed into position; if you can hang a shelf, you can fit a security system. Not only will this save money on installation, it also ensures that you need to take the time to understand how the system works and how to operate it. Don’t worry if you possess no DIY skills; you can always employ the services of a security specialist.

SMALL BUSINESS ADVICE

MAKING THE MOST OF PRINT ADVERTISING

Over the last decade, print advertising in magazines and newspapers has declined markedly as businesses have moved their marketing activity increasingly online. However, print is still an inexpensive, simple and effective form of marketing. Here are some guidelines for getting the most out of your print advertising budget.

Target your Audience Many magazines cater to a particular interest group so, for example, if you sell car parts, try advertising in a motoring magazine. For a general interest publication, make sure your advert goes in the appropriate section – a restaurant should be in the food section. Businesses that need to deal with their customers face to face should advertise in a publication with a readership that is local to them.

Size Matters A full-page advert generates ten times the response of a quarter page advert on its first insertion, yet it only costs about three times as much. There are lots of ways to take advantage of this statistic. Run a full-page ad in just one edition

rather than a quarter page ad in three editions or in one publication rather than three. You get the same response for a third of the spend. The differential in response can decline over time so, if you have a limited budget, it makes sense to start with a large ad and then drop to smaller one later.

Be Part of the Content People read magazines and newspapers because of the content, not to look at the adverts. However, your business can be part of that content if you include an editorial – a feature on your business. Well written copy is engaging regardless of the subject matter, just look at Clarkson’s Farm, so use a copywriter if possible.

The Power of Association If you can’t afford an editorial, make use of the content that is already in the publication. A landscape gardener should try to get their ad placed next a gardening feature. Better still, get your business mentioned in one of the features, commonly known as a name check.

SMALL BUSINESS ADVICE

HOW A COACH CAN TURBOCHARGE YOUR BUSINESS

What do Rebecca Adlington and Carl Froch both have in common? Firstly, they are very successful at what they do and, secondly, they have a coach. They both have help, support and guidance.

Building a successful business is the same. It takes lots of hard work, but you don’t have to do it alone. When you first set up your own business you had dreams and expectations. You certainly didn’t plan for a life of financial struggle. But things don’t always go according to plan. The last two years have been challenging for all business owners, but some have coped better than others. So, what’s different about those that have adapted and thrived over this time? They’ve made the right decisions.

Sadly, you don’t always know what the right decision is. Sometimes a different perspective can really help. Do you have the time to really think about your business or are you constantly firefighting to keep your head above water? Here’s a shocking statistic for you, 80% of small businesses are either broke

or just about getting by. Only 20% are properly successful. But anyone can move their business into that top 20%; the question is, where do you start?

Taking your business from where it is now to where you want it to be is a process and a business coach can help you follow that process. They will look at things like identifying your ideal client, growing your business, time management to make you more productive, achieving your required level of profitability and, perhaps most of all, creating a harmonious work/life balance. A coach may also have experience and expertise that you don’t possess yourself.

You need a coach you can trust and are comfortable working with, but also someone who will challenge you and ignite that passion to succeed. A good coach can help you stand back from your business when you need to and make the right decisions. Appoint a coach and 2022 could be your best ever year in business.

VENGEANCE IS MINE!

The Salt family lived in several small cottages at Commonside just below the hill at Boundary, had never forgotten what had happened to their elder brothers, some thirty years earlier in 1715.

Old Tom lay dying on his cot, with his surviving sons Samuel, George and Richard at his bedside, when he repeated his vow to make amends, and made his boys swear to exact justice if they ever had the chance.

With one boy who had never recovered from his five years at hard labour in Stafford gaol, and another lost to the colonies in America as a bond slave, the family lay bruised but never broken. The complicity of the two boys William and young Tom being accused of riotous assembly in Leek that included arson and attempted murder of a local family had never been fully explained and considered unbelievable to everyone who knew them both.

Even Mr Harrison from the Big House in Dilhorne, had written to the magistrates during the trial to give them a hardworking and obedient character reference, yet this was to no avail.

The Salt boys had somehow got mixed up with a mob, and the riot was a part of a coordinated strategy that spread across the Midlands, Lancashire as well as in London, which tried to create a distraction to enable Jacobite armies to land and invade England.

The whole project became a disaster from start to finish, which landed the majority of the rebel leaders either being thrown into

(PART 27) 1745

gaol or being hung drawn and quartered. Like many of the civilian casualties that resulted from the chaos caused, the two young men from Boundary were considered by the authorities nothing more than necessary collateral damage. With his last breath Old Tom said ‘Never forget your brothers…you owe it to them.’

Old Tom never knew, that the opportunity to seek retribution lay just months ahead, for on the 23rd July 1745, just one month after he was laid to rest in Cheadle, the Young Pretender Charles Stuart, otherwise called the ‘the Bonnie Prince’ landed in Scotland.

As the grandson of the deposed King James II, the Prince considered his own father James Francis Edward Stuart (the Old Pretender) to be the rightful King of England, Scotland and Ireland instead of German George II.

The choice for many who ruled was stark, either support the protestant King George or join the Jacobins and return the catholic James Stuart to the throne.

Over the next weeks and months, the three brothers listened intently to the news of the Prince’s journey through Scotland being reported to them by their elderly Master Thomas Harrison down at Dilhorne Hall. With the news came a growing anxiety, for the army of rampaging Scots seemed unstoppable. September brought reports that having raised many of the Highland Clans, the rebels had entered Edinburgh, then defeated a Government army at Prestonpans in East Lothian in less than twenty minutes.

By mid-November, the news that followed was even worse for the army of unknown size and complexity had been boosted by reinforcements from France belonging to the Irish Brigade, had invaded England, captured Carlisle and were reported to have done similar to Preston, according to the Derby Mercury Newspaper Generally, there was panic across many of the northern counties, yet the Salt family only relished the news that their opportunity was walking towards them.

So, it was on the first day in December, the Salt brothers were summoned urgently back to attend Mr Harrison at the Hall. The sun was setting over Blakeley Hill when they were ushered into the hall where Mr Harrison sat before a huge log fire that filled the room with warmth and light. With gratitude, they warmed their hands at the hearth and found it most welcome, set against the cold winter chills that whistled down the dell.

I have news he said, ‘the socalled Prince is coming this way boys … I am certain of it! With the Duke of Cumberland raising

troops to the south of us, those Scots will turn surely east. There has been a report they have been heading towards Manchester and if they do then the road from Macclesfield to Leek will be open and unopposed.

I need to be warned if they send people this way and I want you to be my eyes and ears. Will you do it for me!’

A glance between the three confirmed their acceptance of the task. There was no need for words. ‘Take horses from my stable and ride towards Leek. Do not enter the town but stay vigilant for they will have patrols out scouting for cattle to rustle and for whatever they can loot!’

The meeting ended as abruptly as it began.

The following morning the riders set out at the crack of dawn, taking the old road to Consall village, and thence towards Cheddleton.

As they ventured down the hill through the village, they stopped at the mill by the wooden bridge that crossed the swollen river. ‘Good as anywhere!’ Samuel said, ‘we shall wait here. For if they come, they must cross and the mill will be too tempting for hungry men needing flour. Any further and we are too close to Leek.

The wait was much longer than expected, for most of the morning and the whole day came and went without any activity in either direction other than a speeding coach that swiftly sped up the hill towards Wetley. It was far too quiet!

Throughout the night their cold vigil lasted, made worse by a freezing rain that fell steadily throughout the dark.

Nothing stirred in the village. The following morning, the cock crowed to welcome the new day

when a pall of thick black smoke appeared on the horizon… ‘A cottage is on fire!’ whispered Richard. ‘True enough’ came a reply.

In the dim morning light, the outline of a single horse soldier came trotting down the road followed by three figures on foot that matched the scamper. Clearly, they were rebels as they drew closer to the bridge by their attire of plaid kilt, a dark bonnet supported by a white cockade and brandishing a ‘targe’ shield and broadsword.

There was no option but to face them, so the brothers walked onto their side of the bridge and stared them down.

The rider stopped and dismounted, handed the reins to the smallest of his patrol and after taking his targe he drew his sword. He mocked his opposition, as he turned to the three men and smiled. He was a giant of a man with hair that flowed past his shoulders.

Only one other followed him across the bridge and they both charged. Armed only with a rusty family sword, a hedging scythe and each holding a dagger the brothers were the most in danger. A gunshot sounded and the goliaths left eye exploded and he fell like a tree. George said ‘That’s for Will! Courtesy of Mr Harrison.’

The other attacker slowed but continued towards his target swinging a death blow towards Richard. Fortunately, the sword glanced off the rusty blade he held in defence. The screaming Scotsman was rewarded with the sharp end of the scythe into his left side that buried deep into his body. ‘And that is for Tom!’ cried Sam.

The boy holding the horse simply turned and fled whilst the other, a bedraggled wretch simply dropped his sword and sank to his knees to await his fate. The brothers’ vengeance was satisfied, so they took him prisoner and a prize horse back to Dilhorne. As it was predicted by Mr Harrison, the ‘Bonnie Prince’ and rebel army passed through Leek on the 3rd December on their way towards Ashborne and Derby that was followed by an ignominious retreat to Scotland. The rest is history.

As for their prisoner, the Salt family concealed his true identity calling him ‘Irish John’ and rather than pass him to the authorities he gave his pardon and worked for Mr Harrison until his death in Dilhorne some six years later in September 1751. He was buried in All Saints graveyard with the name John Charleroy.

The irony of that is obvious … to all who speak French.

LOCAL DANCE FITNESS CLASSES.

New members welcome at our local dance and fitness classes.

Monday 7pm to 8pm Dance Fitness – St Frances Church, Meir Heath

Tuesday 10.30am to 11.30am Zumba – Blythe Bridge Village Hall

Tuesday 6.30pm to 7.30pm Zumba – St Frances Church, Meir Heath

Thursday 10.30am to 11.30am Zumba – Blythe Bridge Methodist Church

For further details of any classes call Jo on 07713308667

CRIMESTOPPERS

Telephone: 0800-555-111

This telephone number can be used to pass specific information about crime or criminals without fear of reprisals or direct contact with the police. Calls are FREE from land lines and most mobile phones. The service is anonymous and rewards of up to £1000 are available for information which leads to an arrest and charge.

WHAT’S ON

Easter Egg Hunts at Shugborough

This spring, treat your little ones to a world of adventures at Shugborough on the Easter adventures in nature trails. Make your way along the trail, finding nature-inspired activities for the whole family.

The trail takes place between 8th-24th April 2022, from 09:00 to 17:00, so come along and explore the beautiful outdoor spaces at Shugborough. The price of the trail is £3 per child and includes a trail map, pencil and a chocolate egg at the end.

For more information call: 01889 880166

The Big Bark – Trentham Gardens

21st & 22nd May 2022 10am – 4pm

Join us for a brand new weekend of furry family fun!

A Doggy Day Out is tremendously excited to bring you not one, but two fun-packed days of adventure and excitement for you, your dog and all the family. Whether on two legs or four, there’ll be plenty to see and do including canine Olympics, dog shows and agility challenges.

For more information go to: Trentham.co.uk

Platinum Jubilee Weekend At Foxfield Railway

June 2nd 2022 from 11:00 am - 4:30 pm

Join us for this extra special weekend and enjoy special activities & Afternoon Teas on our steam trains. Trains run from 11am to 4.30pm.

For more information go to foxfieldrailway.co.uk

Race for Life – Trentham Gardens

7th June 2022 Race Starts 7.30pm

Cancer Research UK’s Race for Life, in partnership with Tesco, is an inspiring series of 5k, 10k, Pretty Muddy and Pretty Muddy Kids events which raise millions of pounds every year to help beat cancer by funding crucial research.

For details go to: trentham

Group Activity

Walking

STOKE ON TRENT SOUTH U3A ACTIVITY LIST AS AT 24/03/2022

Day/Time

Monday 10.00a.m. - Alternate Mondays

IT Group Monday 10.00 - 12.00 Alternate Weeks

Discussion Group Monday 11.30 - 12.45 - Monthly

Various

Location

STILL SUSPENDED

Hanley Library

Group Leader Tel. No.

To be agreed

Joe Neilson 01782 852042

Bob Jones 01785 817743

Line Dancing Monday 1.00 - 3.00 - Weekly Longton Central Hall Linda Woolliscroft 07971 332348

Ukulele Group Monday 1.15 - 3.15 - Weekly Longton Central Hall Barbara Cooke 07864 353467

Indoor Bowls Monday 1.30 - 3.30pm - Weekly Longton Central Hall Dave Darby 01782 317408

Flower Arranging Monday 2.00 - 4.00 - Alternate Weeks St. Albans Centre Blurton Sandra Robson 01785 812730.

Lunch Group

Local History

Tuesday - 2nd Week of Month

Tuesday 10.30 - 12.15 - Alternate Weeks

Various Maureen Cumming 01782 331797

Longton Central Hall Phil Rowley 07421 734200

Longton Allsorts Tuesday 10.30 - 12.00 - 1st Week of Month Longton Central Hall Val Greatbatch 07881 367509

Whist Tuesday 11.00 - 1.00 pm Weekly St. Albans Centre Blurton Trish Rowley 07939 209054

Beading Tuesday 11.30 - 1.30pm Weekly Red House Joan Crozier 01782 213459

Book Club 1 Tuesday 2.00 - 3.30 - last Week of Month Longton Library Val Towey 01782 322115

Book Club 2 Tuesday 2.00 - 3.30 - 2nd Week of Month Longton Library Christine Voyle-Morgan 01538 756155

Badminton Tuesday usually 2.00 to 3.00 Weekly Fenton Manor Dave Darby 01782 317408

Tenpin Bowling Tuesday Evenings variable dates. 7pm start. Tenpin Stoke Festival Site Michelle Tittle-Wang 01782 657564

Sewing Wednesday 10.00 - 12.00 - 2nd & 4th Weeks STILL SUSPENDED Carol Davies 01782 620323

Art Lovers

Wednesday 10.00-12.00 - Alternate Weeks Blurton Community Centre Lynette Bell 01782 238712

Bridge Wednesday 10.00 - 12.00 Weekly Longton Central Hall John Anderson 07794 175481

Mexican Train Dominoes Wednesday 10.00 - 12.00 alternate Weeks Longton Central Hall Pauline Murray 01782 392817

Table Tennis Wednesday 10.00 - 11.00 alternate Weeks Longton Central Hall Fay Howell 01782 658659

Indoor Kurling Wednesday 10.00-12.00 Alternate Weeks Longton Central Hall Val Greatbatch 07881 367509

Outdoor Bowling Wednesday 1.30 - 3.30 pm Weekly Fenton Bowling Club Dave Darby 01782 317408

Photography Thursday 10.00 - 12.00 2nd & 4th Week of Month Longton Central Hall Fran Knowles 01782 417799

Scrabble/Board Games Thursday 10.00 - 12.00 2nd & 4th Week of Month Longton Central Hall Mike Smith 01782 501318 Open Craft Thursday 11.30 - 1.30 2nd & 4th Week of Month Red House

Joan Crozier 01782 213459 Parchment Craft Thursday 11.30 - 1.30 1st & 3rd Week of Month Red House Joan Crozier 01782 213459

Monthly Meeting

Last Thursday in Month 2.00 p.m.

Longton Central Hall - From June Committee Meeting Second Thursday in Month 2.00 p.m. Longton Central Hall Arts Friday 10.00 - 12.00 - Weekly Longton Central Hall Jenny Jepson 07341 398109 Gardening & Nature Lovers Friday - 2nd Friday of Month Various Fay Howell 01782 658659 Card Craft Friday 10.00 - 12.00 - Alternate Weeks Longton Central Hall Joy Till 01782 314703 Family History Friday 2.00 - 4.00 - Alternate Weeks Tollgate Fay Howell 01782 658659

OPINION

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU EVER KNEW ABOUT USING THE ROAD

I must admit I was taken by surprise when, on the 29th of January, I learned that the rules of the road had changed for ever. There was an item at the end of the news, after an interminable feature on the latest Party Boris had attended – God, I envy that man’s social life –explaining that the new Highway Code came into effect today.

To be fair, the Department for Transport did a very good job of keeping it under the radar; you could almost imagine that Chris Grayling was still in charge and the new rule book was being published by a Tory donor. Anyway, I’ve now had a chance to read up on the thing, so I’ll give you some edited highlights.

There is now a hierarchy of road users, and road users that are higher up the hierarchy have priority over those lower in the pecking order. At the top of the tree are pedestrians – I always thought pedestrians were pavement users, but hey ho. People on mobility scooters also count as pedestrians, but not kids on e-scooters. With me so far?

On the next rung down, we have horses with riders or vehicles being pulled by horses – the Queen’s coronation carriage, that sort of thing. I’m not sure where a horse that has thrown its rider and bolted off down the road comes on the list; perhaps someone could enlighten me. Then come cyclists, though I’ve got a bone to pick with the DfT on this. A horse weighs a third of a ton and has hooves that are reinforced with iron bars. My bike weighs 10 kilos and has

wheels with rubber tyres. In a fight between the two, I know which one I’d put my money on. Finally, at the bottom of the heap is everything else, whether that be a 50cc moped, a 40-ton articulated lorry or, most lethal of all, a Range Rover with Katie Price behind the wheel.

You may be wondering how all this works in practice, so I’ll give you some examples. In the first one, I am driving down the road and I pass a cyclist, then 50 metres further on I arrive at a junction where I am turning left. Previously, I would have just turned left and the cyclist would have sailed serenely on behind me. Now though, as best as I understand it, I must stop, let the cyclist catch up and pass me on the inside and then I can turn left. Here’s another one. I am turning left off the road I am travelling on, and an old lady is standing on the kerb, waiting to cross the road I am turning into. Previously, I would have stopped, waved her across and then turned left because that’s the kind of considerate driver I am. Under the new rules, I would have to stop and let

her cross the road regardless of what kind of driver I am, because she now has priority.

Here's a cycling related example. I am riding along a country lane when I encounter a horse and rider clip clopping along at walking pace. Ordinarily, I would move over to the other side of the road and cruise swiftly and silently by before the horse even knew I was there, but the new rules advise me to slow down, ring my bell a few times and then go past once the horse has been thoroughly unsettled.

All joking aside, I have a serious concern with this new code. If you get run over by a car, you are likely to be seriously injured or even killed, regardless of whose fault the accident is. Telling pedestrians that it’s okay to step out in front of an oncoming car because you have priority is probably not a good idea. Cyclists and pedestrians have a degree of responsibility for their own safety, whatever the rules. As the Green Cross Man used to say, look both ways, then cross the road.

RECIPE

BRAISED SHOULDER OF LAMB, TOMATO TAPENADE, HISPI CABBAGE

1kg boneless Shoulder of Lamb

1 Onion

2 heads of Fennel

1 bulb of Garlic

2 Carrots

3 sprigs Rosemary

3 sprigs Thyme

½ Bottle of Red Wine

2 litres Lamb or Chicken Stock

250g Sun Blush Tomatoes in Oil

1 Large Hispi Cabbage

100g Butter

Sea Salt/Pepper

Heat a large non-stick pan and add a little oil, then carefully fry the lamb until it is coloured on all sides (do not season it first). Place the lamb in a deep casserole dish or large ovenproof saucepan. Now dice all the vegetables and gently fry in the oil left over from frying the lamb. Once slightly browned, add the red wine and boil until reduced by half, then add to the casserole dish. Pour in the stock and, if necessary, top up with a little water so that the lamb is completely covered. Cover with a lid or some foil and place in an oven preheated to 180ºC. After 20 minutes turn down the oven to 90ºC and cook for 8 hours or until tender. (You can do this overnight if necessary).

Once cooked, allow to cool and then take the lamb from the liquor. Cut away any fat from the outside and remove the string. Season with salt and pepper, roll the joint into a cylinder and leave in the fridge until firm. Pour the vegetables and stock into a saucepan and heat until it reduces to a thick gravy consistency.

Spread three layers of cling film on the worksurface. Cut the cabbage into quarters and season with sea salt, then reform into its original shape, wrap it in the cling film and cut a few holes in the film with a knife. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil, carefully lower the cabbage into the water and blanch for 2 minutes. Once cooked, chill in iced water then drain on a cloth until needed.

Making the tapenade is easy. Just place the sun blush tomatoes into a blender, pulse together until they form a semi smooth texture and season with salt and pepper. To serve, warm a knob of butter and a little oil in a nonstick saucepan. Slice the lamb into four thick pieces and fry until golden brown on both sides. Add a little of the gravy and warm in a pre-heated oven until fully warmed through. Heat the remaining lamb gravy and pan-fry the cabbage in a little oil until golden. Place a slice of lamb and a quarter of the cabbage on four warmed plates, then pour over the gravy. Serve with your choice of potatoes.

TRAVEL

MALTA – SUN, SEA AND SHATTERED PARENTS

Picture the scene last August; all Covid restrictions might have been lifted at home, but a foreign holiday was a stressful prospect that was fraught with risk. Even so, we were desperate; we hadn’t had a holiday at all the previous year, let alone our usual sun-drenched fortnight on a Mediterranean beach, and we’d been working flat out since Christmas. An amber list destination was just too risky and the only two suitable green list countries were Bulgaria and Malta – Malta it was then.

We went on a package trip simply because it was easier than trying to arrange flights and accommodation separately and, as we hadn’t had a holiday in two years, we felt justified in splashing out on a 5-star hotel, the Dragonara Resort in St Julian’s. Of course, it wasn’t a 5-star hotel in the way that the Dorchester is, but it was very comfortable and made us feel like wealthy tourists, the desired effect. The real appeal of the Dragonara lies outdoors – with two pools, three beach bars and acres of luxury sunbeds right by the sea, it is the perfect place for sprawling in the sun and reading a book, interspersed by the occasional swim and cool beer - which is exactly how we spent our days. There were five restaurants and several bars on site too, but we preferred to go out into the town to eat.

In normal times, St Julian’s is the party capital of Malta with plenty of bars, clubs and restaurants offering cuisine from around the world. Usually, it is a teeming

mass of trendy young people (and trendy older ones too!), but in the wake of the pandemic it was a bit more subdued and quite a few restaurants had yet to reopen. Even so, it was a bustling and lively resort, and we found a few good restaurants, most notably a fine dining place presided over by an amiable Albanian restaurateur. We enjoyed a first-class tasting menu there for the price of a pub dinner back home.

Malta is basically a sun blasted rock jutting out of the Mediterranean off the coast of Sicily, but it is also a maritime nation with a proud history going back to the time of the crusades. Consequently, most of the leisure activities for tourists are based around the sea. In August, the sea is as warm as bathwater and as clear as a mountain spring. It is great for scuba diving and snorkelling or just messing about in boats. There was a water sports centre just across the inlet from our hotel that offered all the usual activities, though we didn’t indulge. Alternatively, you can take one of the fast ferries up to Gozo, the second island in the Maltese archipelago. You can

also swim with the fish in the crystal-clear waters of the blue lagoon.

We arranged our own little boat trip with the help of the hotel reception, hiring a small boat and pilot to pick us up from the jetty right beside our sunbeds. The hotel furnished us with a hamper and we spent an enjoyable few hours puttering down the coast, cruising around the grand harbour and then stopping off in Valetta for an hour, just long enough for a quick look around. I’d have liked to have spent a day wandering around Malta’s historic capital but, sadly, we didn’t have the time or the energy.

Our week at the Dragonara resort was just what we needed, plenty of sun, swimming, some good food and lots of excellent cocktails. The Maltese people are very friendly and they all speak English, which is a bonus. They even drive on the proper side of the road, although they are probably among the worst drivers in the world! Malta is a 4-hour flight away, not at all expensive and is gloriously warm and sunny for most of the year, the perfect place to recharge your batteries after a tough year.

CLASSIC CARS

BMW M5 E34

The E34, effectively the third generation of the redoubtable 5 Series, is the BMW that time forgot, and I really can’t understand why. It’s a handsome car without being in your face, roomy, comfortable, refined and extremely well screwed together. It is also a pleasure to drive, whichever version you find yourself behind the wheel of. Its predecessor, the E28, introduced the first ever version of the M5, the ultimate Q Car, an understated executive saloon that could keep up with a Ferrari. Inevitably, the E34 also got its own version of this wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Launched in right hand drive form in 1990, the M5 featured a hand-built version of BMW’s silky smooth 3.5 litre straight six engine that kicked out an impressive 315bhp, good for 0-60 in 6.3 seconds and a limited 155mph top speed. There was also a slick shifting 5-speed gearbox, uprated brakes and suspension and a limited slip diff at the rear. The interior combined sportiness with luxury, with lashings of wood and leather, huge electrically adjustable bucket seats and virtually everything available on the options list at the time. All this might seem like a winning formula, but in 1992 BMW improved the recipe still further, boring out the engine to 3.8 litres to deliver 340bhp which dropped the 0-60 time to 5.4 seconds. Adaptive suspension was also fitted, allowing drivers to switch modes at the touch of a button.

The M5 is fantastic to drive. That

big straight six emits a wonderful engine note that builds and builds as it approaches the redline. The steering is slightly heavy but very direct and pinpoint accurate. The handling is superb; there are prodigious levels of grip and the car talks to you so, when it does let go, it is easy to gather it up and get everything back under control. This M5 makes a track day hero out of any driver yet despite all this, it can carry 4 adults and their luggage in refined comfort across a continent if need be.

If you are interested in owning one of these engineering masterpieces (and let’s face it, why wouldn’t you be), there are a few things to consider. It may be a BMW and extremely well built, but some examples are more than 30 years old.

If you choose one that hasn’t been scrupulously maintained, you can find yourself in a world of financial pain. The cost of fixing problems with the engine or adaptive suspension can be staggering, so a full service history is essential. E34s have been known to rust, usually inside the rear wheel arches and the base of the windscreen, so make sure you check for bodged repairs. The good news

is that brakes and standard suspension components are cheap to replace. The drivetrain is also pretty much bombproof, and that luxurious interior stands the test of time extremely well.

Other than that, try to buy a post ‘92 car with the 3.8 litre engine. Better still, post ’94 cars featured a six-speed manual gearbox. The preferred colours are black or dark blue; avoid the more garish hues or you’ll pay for it come resale time. You can pick up a shabby high mileage example for around £12k but you can easily spend more than the price of the car on restoring it. A properly restored car with reasonable mileage will set you back around £28k. I’ve seen some dealers trying to get £50k for their M5s but they’re not worth that (yet)! However, consider this factwell presented examples of the original M5, the E28, now start at £60,000 and the E34 is a better car in every respect. That suggests to me that it’s only a matter of time before prices for the E34 go the same way.

The E34 M5 is a wonderful car to own and drive and a solid investment to boot.

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