The Circle of Jewish Life Joel Lurie Grishaver
Torah Aura Productions
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Torah Aura Productions ISBN 10
1-891662-90-2
ISBN 13
978-1-891662-90-4
Copyright Š 2007 Torah Aura Productions Second printing 2017 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents The Circle of Life.........................5
Conversion................................................33
A Jewish Life................................................6
Becoming a Jew by Choice.......................34
The Tree........................................................7
Torah Events................................35
Birth:Entering the Covenant......8
Consecration, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Confirmation and Adult Education......36
Birth Story....................................................9
The Torah of Torah Study..........................38
Shalom Zakhar: Howdy, Kid....................11
Consecration.............................................39
Noah to Abraham to You..........................12
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Blessing..................40
Making Your Own Brit with God.............14
Why Does Bar/Bat Mitzvah Happen at Thirteen?.................................................41
The Brit Milah Ceremony.........................15 An Elijah Story..........................................18
The Tallit.....................................................42
Simhat Bat Ceremony...............................19
Design your own Tallit..............................43
Wimples.....................................................21 My Name is…...........................................22
“What Is The Most Important Verse in the Torah?”....................................................44
Family...........................................23
A Bar/Bat Mitzvah Looks Like This.........45
Mishpahah/Bayit.......................................24
Acting like An Adult.................................46
My Family Map.........................................25
Standing at Sinai.......................................47
Family Obligations....................................26
Confirmation and Shavuot.......................48
The Peace Pudding....................................28
Check Off the Top Three Jewish Things You Will Pledge.......................................49
Jewish Divorce...........................................29
Gabriel’s Ark..............................................50
Be a Family Counselor..............................30
Whole-Life Learning................................54
Portrait of a Divorce..................................31 Adoption....................................................32 3
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Marriage.......................................56
Growing Old...............................77
Getting Married........................................57
Respecting the Elderly..............................78
Finding Each Other...................................58
The Meaning of Old.................................79
The Jewish Wedding.................................59
Pirke Avot 5.24..........................................80
Mikvah.......................................................62
Death...........................................81
Marriage Words.........................................64
The Jewish Way of Death..........................82
Four Different Ketubot.............................65
Mourning Stages.......................................85
Text of the Ketubah...................................66
Why We Say Kaddish for Only Eleven Months....................................................86
Orthodox...................................................66 Conservative..............................................67
What Happens After We Die?..................88
Reform.......................................................68
The Kaddish..............................................89
Design Your Own Ketubah.......................69
Ethical Wills...............................................90
Rabbi Akiva and Rachel............................70
Your Ethical Will........................................91
The Marriage Service................................72
How to Visit a Shiva House......................94
X-Raying the Sheva Brakhot....................75
Why I Joined Our Hevra Kaddisha..........95
Commitment Ceremonies........................76
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The Circle of Life At the beginning of The Lion King, Simba is born. All of the animals in the jungle gather and sing “The Circle of Life.� How is life a circle? ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
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A Jewish Life When we go through the Circle of Jewish life we are reliving moments that have happened to other Jews. Put these moments in the order in which they happen in our lives, not by their order in the Bible. (Hint: First we are born.) ____ Rabbi Akiva began to study Torah at the age of forty. ____ (According to a midrash) Abraham was thirteen years old when he smashed his father’s idols. ____ Adam and Eve were the first married couple. ____ Abraham bought a cave so that he could bury his dead wife Sarah. ____ On the eighth day after he was born, Abraham’s son was circumcised. ____ Moses gave three major sermons to the Jewish people when he was one hundred-and twenty years old. ____ Abraham and Sarah waited a long time but they finally gave birth to a son, Isaac. 6
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The Tree It is a Jewish custom to plant a tree on the day when a baby is born. As the child grows, the tree grows. When that child is ready to get married the parents cut branches from the tree and use them to hold up the huppah, the wedding canopy. This custom is a ritual. A ritual is a way of expressing deep ideas or even stories through actions.
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1. What does this ritual say to the parents of a newborn baby? 2. What does this ritual say to the parents of a child who is ready to get married? 3. How does this ritual help to show that life is a circle?
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Birth: Entering the Covenant
According to the Talmud, God sends an angel to each womb to teach a baby all the wisdom that can be obtained. Just before the baby is born, the angel touches the space between the upper lip and the nose and all that it has taught the baby is forgotten. (Niddah 30b) 1. What does this story teach about the purpose of life? 2. What does this story teach about learning? 3. What does this story teach about being a newborn?
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Birth Story
the boy into the room and hands him to a parent who hands it to the sandek (another godparent). Traditionally, the sandek sits in Elijah’s Chair. The Brit Milah ceremony is performed by a mohel, a person specially trained to do this minor surgery. Today, in some communities a woman, a mohellet, performs the circumcision and leads the service. The community is invited, and a minyan (ten people) is needed. After the Brit Milah, there is a Se’udat Mitzvah, a meal celebrating the performance of this mitzvah.
Shalom Zakhar
While the Brit Milah is a ceremony for boys, today many families celebrate a parallel ceremony for girls called Brit
After a Jewish child is born there are lots of celebrations. The first one takes place on the Erev Shabbat (Friday Night) right after the baby is born. Traditionally this was only for boys and it was called Shalom Zakhar, but today a number of families observe a girls’ version of the celebration called Shalom Nekeivah. Believe it or not, the big thing about these celebrations is the eating of chickpeas.
Brit Milah/Simhat Bat Eight days after a boy is born there is a ceremony of circumcision called Brit Milah. At this ceremony the k’vater/ kvaterin (one of the godparents) brings 9
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parents of boys have adopted from parents of girls.
Pidyon ha-Ben/ K’dushat Pehter Rehem
Bat or Simhat Bat. Because Simhat Bat is a new ceremony, there is no fixed ritual and many families write their own service. There is a Se’udat Mitzvah after this simhah (happy occasion), too.
Naming While a boy is usually given his Hebrew name at a Brit Milah, it is a custom to name girls in synagogue on a Shabbat following their birth. Now girls are frequently named at their Simhat Bat, but still it has become a custom for boys and girls to be brought to synagogue to be named (or renamed) in front of the entire congregation on a Shabbat. This is a custom that
Thirty days after a first son is born, there is a ceremony called Pidyon ha-Ben, which means, “redemption of the firstborn.” This is a biblical ceremony in which a father buys back his son from Temple service from a priest (kohein). Not all Jews observe this ceremony. And as with other ceremonies that were previously “for boys only,” a girl’s or non-genderspecific version has been created called K’dushat Pehter Rehem (the holiness of the firstborn).
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Shalom Zakhar: Howdy, Kid In the Talmud it is written: Rabbi Isaac quoted Rabbi Ammi, who stated: “As soon as a male comes into the world peace comes into the world.” This teaching was translated into a traditional ceremony called , Shalom Zakhar. This is a “peace comes into the world party” because it is a boy. Or it could be a “welcome son party.” Shalom can mean “peace” or “hello”. Shalom is also a name of God. In her book How to Run a Jewish Household, Blu Greenberg suggests that a Shalom Bat ceremony should be added to Jewish tradition for newborn girls. These celebrations are parties held on Erev Shabbat (Friday night). The special food that is served at them is chickpeas. These chickpeas tell a story.
The Chickpea Story Before children are born they learn the whole Torah. Just before birth an angel touches them on the lip, making the line that goes from the middle of the lip to just under the nose. This touch makes them forget everything they have learned. A newborn has to start learning all over again. The chickpea is shaped like a circle and it teaches that life is a circle of learning and forgetting, of happiness and sadness, of living and dying. 11
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