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/ THEY SAID I HAD TO PICK A FUNNY STORY MY NEXT TOPIC AT JUNIOR TOASTMASTERS— / MAYBE I COULD USE SOMETHING FROM TOPPY’S TALES ON LINE,,,,,,///

Funny stories from the Carter family (you kind a had to be there) From time to time as they grow up each family has funny stories of things that have happen to them in their past. They may not have seemed funny at the time but in later years close friends and family can think back on them and laugh. These are three things that happened in my family while I was still a twinkle in my daddy’s eye.

Story #1: The chicken in a dress This story happened back in the 40”s when my dad must have been 10 or 12 years old. I may not have the math right. One day my grandfather was out feeding the chickens while talking to my grandmother and they noticed that one of the smaller chickens, which might have been considered the runt of the bunch, had almost no feathers at all. Since my grandmother already had her sewing machine put up and she was helping her daughters make doll clothes for their dolls she decided to make a dress for the chicken to give it some protection from the other bullies. After that things in the barn yard kind of changed if you know what I mean. As soon as the other chickens saw this little one with no feathers wearing a dress they went bananas and must have thought it was another creature from another planet.

The chickens ran like hell t to get away from the one with a dress. They would stumble and dive over one another to get out of the way whenever the dress chicken came near. It must have been like someone yelling fire in a movie theater and everyone trying to get out at once. They would be eating corn off the ground and then see the dress chicken coming and run like crazy to get out of the way. For about a month or so there until the little chicken got his feathers back everybody in town would talk about Mr. Carter’s chicken in a dress.

Story #2: The concrete brownies After my folks were married and had been together for awhile and my brother and sister got used to their step dad my father Toppy Jr. My mother was a secretary back in those days and one Saturday she had to go to work in the office to clean out some paper work which left my father at home to take care of his new son and step daughter. They were trying to think of something to do for three or four hours.

My father went through the cupboards and cabinets looking for something to cook and keep the kids occupied for awhile. Way back in the back of one of the cabinets he found a box of brownie mix. He was so relieved to find something they could make that he forgot to take a look at the expiration date on the box. After they had cook in the right amount of time they took them out to let them cool. Then they tried to cut them. They found out they were so hard they were difficult to cut. They tasted good but they were as hard as a rock. My brother found the only way to take a bite of them was to hold them under the faucet for a few minutes. It took them an hour to eat one brownie. They were good as I said but looking back on it over the years this came to be known as the cement brownie story.

Story #3: The stinky light bulb In my sisters early teen years when she was about 12 or 13 she had a pet Parakeet known as tweety I believe. Oh what an original name (HA). She used to let tweety sit on top of her head like a pigeon on top of lady liberty. One of his many other favorite places was on one of the little wall lamps on either side of my sisters makeup mirror. When he wasn’t sitting there he was most the time on my sister’s noggin. Sometimes she would forget he was there and go outside and have to run back in before the bird realized he had the chance to fly away. Most the time when she was in the bedroom Tweety would sit on top of the chimney of those little lanterns that you take on camping trips. These were wired up so you could use light bulbs. The bird sat there so much that one day Lisa turned the lamps on and left them on for the rest of the day and when she came back to her bedroom she noticed a horrible smell. After searching high and low for the source of the odor she realized that her beloved Tweety bird had been sitting on top of the lantern pooping his little heart out. The poop would fall on the light bulb and eventually bake and create the horrible smell. The moral of the story is don’t let your bird loose in the house. Thank you for reading and I hope these stories gave you a chuckle. Toppy Carter III Shortcut link to Toppy's Tales. http://issuu.com/toppyl.carteri