PaolaKohl
Success Starts with You
The health of your business is directly tied to your personal well-being
How to Stay Motivated in Summer Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
Three Key Steps to Start 2025 Strong
Your Best Year Starts Now. Your Best Life is Just a Step Away.
The Role of Personal Wellness in Entrepreneurial Success
Explores strategies derived from his research and other psychological principles to help you maximise your relationships.
Welcome to the first Summer Issue of Tomorrow is Not Today magazine.
KingsleyColley
Tomorrow is Not Today
Everything goes in seasons. When we embrace each season and not try to fight the ones we don’t enjoy we are more fulfilled and happy.
Summer is the season of good, where things are going well, people tend to be happier in general. It’s holidays and beaches, time with family and abundance.
Though this is traditionally what summer is known for, everyone of us has different seasons at different times internally despite what the natural season may be
Always remember, Tomorrow is Not Today Whether your summer season is a summer season of life or maybe a winter season for you personally, it will change Things will get better and you will have times when it’s not all smooth sailing on the summer seas Embrace each season and create the life you want
This issue is the summer issue when it comes to fashion, food, exercise, nutrition and clarity of focus for 2025 & beyond
As we come into a brand new year, for many a time for a fresh start. Can I encourage you to not just start in January 1st, but begin building habits now. If you can’t start now for whatever reason at least outline for yourself what you WILL do and begin as soon as you can.
It’s not about building Rome in a day, it’s about moving forward every day no matter how bog or small that step might be
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PERFORMANCE PERFORMANCE MASTERY MASTERY
This unique program empowers business owners and their teams to unlock peak performance by integrating personal and professional well-being.
Through a unique CPE framework (Clarity, Plan, Execution), we help teams not only set ambitious goals but also implement sustainable routines and strategies for longterm success.
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Our focus on holistic health, confidence-building, and authentic personal identity sets us apart, making our approach both impactful and deeply personalised for lasting transformation
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What If the Key to Fulfillment Lies
Within?
ByDonnaMartin
What if everything we’ve been taught about happiness is wrong? What if the things society, social media, and even our families have told us to strive for wealth, a perfect partner, the perfect body, career success aren’t the true answers to the fulfillment we’ve been seeking?
In a world of over 8 billion people, we’re all conditioned to believe that external achievements will bring us lasting happiness We’ve been promised that once we achieve certain milestones be it financial success, the ideal job, or the perfect relationship we’ll feel complete Yet, how often have we reached these goals only to feel as though something’s still missing?
You may be familiar with this feeling Perhaps you’ve reached your dream job, gotten the promotion, or found the right partner Yet, there’s still a void, a sense that something isn’t quite right Despite achieving all the "right" things, you may be wondering, “Is this all there is?”
This isn't a question solely for entrepreneurs or high-achievers It’s a question that anyone can relate to the feeling that life is happening to us, that we’re just going through the motions without much control over the direction it takes.
But what if we’ve been misled?
Many of us, perhaps 90% of the population, live with the belief that happiness and fulfillment are external something we achieve by meeting society's benchmarks. We think that the next career achievement or life goal will bring us that sense of peace and contentment we’ve been yearning for. But in truth, this surface-level pursuit may never lead to the deeper emotions we desire.
However, there’s a different path It’s one that only a small percentage of people have discovered a path where true fulfillment comes from within These individuals have realised that they don’t need to chase after external achievements to feel complete Instead, they’ve embraced the idea that fulfillment begins inside, from a place of self-awareness and self-acceptance
I invite you to pause for a moment and reflect What would it be like to shift your focus inward, away from the constant pursuit of external goals? Try to tune in to the quiet voice within you, the one that’s often drowned out by the noise of daily life. Notice how your body responds. Does this alternative way of thinking resonate with you? Perhaps emotions are arising emotions that tell you there's another way to approach your life.
This idea may be challenging. It’s easy to dismiss the notion that fulfillment can come from within when we’ve been conditioned to seek it outside ourselves. But I encourage you to be open, curious, and compassionate with yourself. Pay attention to the small ways you shape your life, and consider whether there’s room to make space for something deeper.
Your greatest asset is your ability to be yourself. And that’s where your Goodlife begins.
Remember, the key to unlocking true fulfillment lies in tuning in to your authentic self not just the thoughts racing through your mind but the deeper feelings within you that can guide you toward a more meaningful existence
If you’re ready to explore how you can elevate your life and business through intentional design, I’d love to connect Together, we can align you to your Goodlife
CONNECT WITH DONNA MARTIN
Discover Donna's Services: https://the-goodlife-approach.kit.com/website
OptiHabits
Healthy Business, Healthy Brand: The Role of Personal Wellness in Entrepreneurial Success
Building a successful business requires more than just strategy it requires stamina As entrepreneurs and business owners, we often think that long hours and constant hustle are the keys to growth But what if the true secret to sustained success lies in something more personal our well-being?
Time and again, I’ve seen it: when business owners neglect their health, their businesses suffer But when they invest in their personal wellness, their energy, creativity, and decision-making skills soar and their businesses follow suit
Wellness Fuels Business Growth
As a marketing strategist dedicated to building successful brands, I’ve witnessed firsthand how prioritising personal wellness positively impacts business growth. When you’re physically and mentally well, you’re sharper, more creative, and better equipped to handle the challenges that come with entrepreneurship.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my journey is this: your business will only grow as much as you do. Entrepreneurs who focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle often see their businesses thrive, too. Here’s why:
Mental Clarity for Better Decisions
When your mind is clear, decision-making improves. Entrepreneurs face countless decisions daily, and making the right call can mean the difference between growth and stagnation. I’ve found that when I’m wellrested, eating right, and managing stress, I’m much better equipped to make strategic decisions that push my business forward.
Energy to Sustain the Grind
Scaling a business is demanding and requires consistent effort But energy isn’t infinite it’s a resource we must manage By incorporating wellness routines like exercise or mindfulness practices into your daily life, you ensure you have the stamina to keep going without burning out
Creativity at Its Peak
Creativity is the lifeblood of any brand Fresh, innovative ideas set successful brands apart When you’re mentally and physically well, you unlock more creativity and innovation Often, my best ideas emerge during or after a workout, or when I step away to recharge
Your Brand Reflects Your Well-Being
Your brand is an extension of you How you live your life, take care of yourself, and show up each day all influence how your brand is perceived A healthy entrepreneur builds a brand that is authentic, resilient, and engaging When you embody the values you want your business to stand for whether that’s balance or innovation you attract an audience that resonates with those values
On the flip side, if you’re overwhelmed and stressed, it will show in your business. Your marketing loses its edge, customer service falters, and leadership becomes reactive. I’ve seen this happen to business owners who push themselves to the brink, believing that longer hours equal more success, only to hit a wall.
PaolaKohl
Practical Steps for Balancing Wellness and Business
Here are strategies I’ve found invaluable in balancing personal wellness with business growth:
Time-Blocking for Wellness: Just as you block time for meetings, block time for exercise or relaxation Protecting this time ensures your well-being doesn’t fall to the back burner
Streamline Your Processes: Simplifying and automating where possible saves time and reduces stress, leaving more room for wellness and long-term business goals
Set Boundaries to Prevent Burnout: Building a brand is a marathon, not a sprint Setting boundaries like turning off emails after hours is essential for maintaining your energy and focus
Success Starts with You
The health of your business is directly tied to your personal well-being By investing in yourself whether through exercise, mindful breaks, or time to reset you’re not just improving your quality of life; you’re ensuring your business can grow sustainably.
Are you prioritising actions that lead to real change, or are you getting caught up in the familiar? The time is now... Let's make it happen, Today and not tomorrow.
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How to Stay Motivated in Summer
Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
Embrace the Power of Routine
While summer might encourage a laid-back attitude, maintaining some form of routine can keep you grounded. Having a consistent schedule, even if it’s more flexible than in other seasons, will help you build momentum throughout the day. Set aside specific times for work, workouts, hobbies, and relaxation. For example, you could dedicate the first hour of the morning to focus on important tasks, and leave the afternoons free for downtime or outdoor activities. This balance of productivity and relaxation will keep you motivated without feeling deprived of summer fun.
Summer brings the promise of longer days, sunshine, and a more relaxed vibe For many, this season invites a slower pace and the temptation to take it easy However, staying motivated during summer can feel like a challenge, especially when the weather is warm, and the lure of beaches, barbecues, and vacations is strong Whether it’s work, personal projects, or fitness goals, it’s common to struggle with staying productive when the energy and enthusiasm of summer seem to fade But with the right strategies, you can maintain focus and motivation, even when you’d rather be lounging in the sun.
Set Clear and Realistic Goals
When the days feel like they’re slipping away in a haze of summer fun, it’s important to have clear, realistic goals to help you stay on track Break down your larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks Instead of saying, "I want to get fit this summer," say, "I will work out three times a week " Creating achievable milestones not only helps you stay organised but also gives you a sense of accomplishment, no matter how small. By setting a clear path and reminding yourself of your ultimate goal, you’ll be more likely to stay motivated, even if the weather is calling you to relax.
Get Outside and Move
There’s no denying that summer is the perfect time to enjoy the great outdoors, so use this to your advantage. Physical activity can increase your energy levels, improve your mood, and boost productivity. Rather than seeing exercise as a chore, take advantage of the beautiful weather by doing something you enjoy outside whether that’s hiking, cycling, swimming, or simply going for a walk The fresh air and sunlight can make exercise feel like a treat, giving you the motivation you need to stay active without forcing yourself into a gym routine
Make Summer Fun a Reward
One way to stay motivated during the summer is to tie your goals to your relaxation Use your summer activities as rewards for completing tasks or sticking to your routine For example, if you finish an important project or meet a personal goal, treat yourself to an afternoon at the beach or a weekend getaway By connecting productivity with the pleasures of summer, you’ll have a tangible incentive to stay motivated You’ll also feel less guilty about indulging in leisure when you know you’ve earned it
Change Your Environment
If the heat or the lure of summer distractions is too tempting, consider changing your work environment Whether it's setting up a spot in a cool, airconditioned room, working at a local coffee shop, or heading outdoors to work in the shade, a change of scenery can reignite your focus
The new environment can provide a fresh perspective and help you avoid the feeling of being stuck in a rut This is particularly useful if your usual workspace feels too closely tied to the distractions of home or summer
Stay Accountable
Sometimes, staying motivated is easier when you have someone to answer to. Find an accountability partner or join a group with similar goals. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, sharing your plans and progress will help keep you on track. You can check in with each other regularly to share wins, challenges, and encouragement. The simple act of knowing someone is expecting updates can provide the push you need to keep going, even when motivation wanes
Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself
Lastly, remember that summer is a time to enjoy life, and it’s okay to take breaks Don’t beat yourself up for needing time off or feeling unmotivated Productivity ebbs and flows, and being too rigid with yourself can lead to burnout Instead, acknowledge your feelings, take time to recharge when necessary, and refocus when you’re ready The key is balance staying motivated without sacrificing your well-deserved summer enjoyment
Staying motivated in the summer doesn’t mean working harder or being more disciplined; it’s about creating a balance that allows you to accomplish your goals while enjoying the season By setting clear goals, maintaining a flexible routine, using the outdoors as a motivator, and rewarding yourself, you can find ways to stay productive and energised. And most importantly, remember to be kind to yourself summer is meant to be enjoyed, and your productivity should support that enjoyment, not take away from it.
She Thrives Club
The Sophisticated Man’s Fashion - Summer 24 - 25
As the days grow longer and temperatures rise, it’s time to rethink your summer wardrobe While it’s tempting to reach for old board shorts and a faded singlet from years past, this season calls for a more refined approach Summer style can be both comfortable and elevated, with tailored looks that keep you cool while exuding effortless sophistication
This summer, ditch the oversised board shorts and opt for tailored versions that hit just above the knee. Paired with a classic button-up or polo shirt, these shorts bring a polished, modern edge to casual wear The fit should strike the right balance between sharp and comfortable, offering ease of movement without appearing sloppy Tailored shorts instantly elevate your look, giving your summer outfits a sense of purpose.
For tops, natural fibers like linen are the way to go. Lightweight and breathable, linen is perfect for hot weather and provides an effortlessly stylish look. A short-sleeve linen shirt in neutral tones such as white, beige, or light blue pairs seamlessly with tailored shorts in navy, khaki, or white. If you prefer long sleeves, simply roll them up for a relaxed yet polished vibe Linen’s subtle texture adds sophistication while keeping you comfortable.
Neutral colors are key this season, allowing for effortless mixing and matching. A versatile palette of white, beige, navy, and charcoal creates endless outfit combinations with just a few pieces. This practical approach ensures your summer wardrobe is both functional and stylish, ideal for any occasion.
As the sun sets and the evening begins, transition to a smart-casual look with light-colored chinos Versatile and comfortable, chinos in shades like light grey, stone, or pastel tones reflect the airy vibes of summer evenings Pair them with a crisp cotton button-up shirt for a polished yet breathable outfit. Roll up the sleeves or leave the top buttons undone for a touch of relaxed sophistication. For even more comfort, consider a linen-cotton blend shirt.
Footwear is an essential finishing touch. Replace thongs and worn-out sandals with polished options like loafers, espadrilles, or sleek leather sandals. For formal occasions, neutral-toned leather or suede loafers complete your look For a more casual vibe, minimalist sneakers or espadrilles in muted colors are stylish and comfortable choices
Accessories can elevate your summer style further Timeless sunglasses like aviators or wayfarers are a must, while a good-quality leather or woven belt adds polish to your outfit. A stylish watch completes the look, ensuring you’re ready for any occasion.
This summer, move beyond casual beachwear and embrace a tailored, elevated style. Whether heading to a café, rooftop bar, or evening event, a curated wardrobe ensures you look sharp and feel comfortable. Summer fashion is all about striking the balance between style and practicality, leaving you confident and prepared no matter where the season takes you.
Dressing for summer can be tricky when your favourite colour is black...
so I find myself searching for inspiration when that change of season hits and I’m ready to revamp my style aesthetic Hello Gold Coast summer! I’m so ready to go shopping for some fun and vibrant pieces and to pack away the heavy winter garb at last
Pastels are still trending, lilac and soft buttery yellow combined with punches of deep red and royal blue I’m loving the idea of a bold colourful shoe or handbag as the pop of colour to an outfit, particularly for those of us that prefer a more understated look
As a stylist and personal shopper, I’m an absolute sucker for seasonal trends. While I don’t take fashion too seriously (getting dressed should be a fun form of self expression!) I don’t recommend dressing head to toe in anything and everything that happens to be the latest look. Take pieces of popular items, mix it in with old favourites you already own and be creative with your interpretation of what’s in vogue.
My current obsession is sheer fabrics in the form of long lace skirts and slip dresses and translucent blouses Layering sheer pieces over solid colours or contrasting textures adds so much interest to an outfit and the light movement of the fabric is perfect for that summer vibe
Aje has a gorgeous version in the most unique pattern of lace and for a less expensive option, check out Glassons
Next on my wishlist is a kitten heel! If only I’d hung onto my collection from 1999….but what a relief that such a practical and comfortable shoe has made a comeback to the fashion world. I’ve found the perfect pair in Zara for under $100 that I cant wait to get my hands on.
The popularity of Y2K style continues to dominate, strange as it may be to those of us that lived it the first time round….however, like most trends that come back around, it’s revamped and relevant to todays style aesthetic.
Oversised man style shirts are still a staple for me, perfect to chuck over a long sheer or lace skirt or worn extra oversised as a dress Keep an open mind when shopping, I often find the best items in the mens department Check out Uniqlo for great basics and tshirts, fantastic quality and very reasonably priced
Overall, the 2024 summer season encourages joyful and carefree style with nods to the past, playful colour and breezy light fabrics. Whats not to love! Cant wait to hit the shops and give that credit card a work out.
Your Health Strategy for 2025: Small Steps, Big Results
As the clock ticks toward midnight on December 31st, millions of us are preparing to declare our New Year’s resolutions. Lose weight. Get fit. Save money. Eat healthier Sound familiar?
Here’s the catch: Most resolutions fail. Studies show that by February, 80% of people abandon their goals Why? Because most resolutions are too ambitious, vague, or unrealistic, setting us up for frustration rather than success
But research shows there’s a better way. Sustainable, meaningful change doesn’t come from radical overhauls. It comes from small, actionable steps practiced consistently. These seemingly minor shifts when tailored to your unique goals can deliver profound, lasting results.
This year, let’s move away from the all-or-nothing approach. Let’s embrace the idea of Small Changes, Big Effects one step at a time
Why Small Changes Work
Big resolutions often fail because they overwhelm our brains and bodies, creating stress rather than progress. On the other hand, small, targeted habits are not only easier to maintain but also create a ripple effect that supports larger health goals
For example, starting your day with a glass of water may seem simple, but it jump-starts hydration, boosts metabolism, and even sharpens focus. Adding protein to meals balances blood sugar, curbs cravings, and supports muscle repair especially vital as we age. And 10 minutes of movement daily? That’s all it takes to enhance circulation, reduce stress, and improve mood.
Small steps build momentum, and momentum builds change.
Three Key Steps to Start 2025 Strong
Hydrate First Thing
Your body dehydrates overnight, leaving you groggy and sluggish Rehydrate first thing with a glass of water to kickstart energy, improve focus, and prime your body for the day
Add Protein to Every Meal
Protein isn’t just about muscles it’s essential for maintaining stable energy, balancing hormones, and repairing tissues. Aim for 20–30 grams at each meal by including options like eggs, fish, poultry, tofu, or legumes.
Move for 10 Minutes Daily
Movement stimulates circulation, releases feel-good endorphins, and supports physical and mental resilience Even a 10-minute walk, a yoga session, or a stretch break can have measurable health benefits.
Progress, Not Perfection
Health isn’t about perfection it’s about consistency. One slip-up won’t derail your progress unless you let it The goal is to keep showing up for yourself, day after day. Missed your walk today? Take an extra one tomorrow Had dessert? Balance it with lean protein and greens at your next meal
Your Best Year Starts Now. Your Best Life is Just a Step Away.
The best year of your life begins with a clear, expert-backed plan. That’s why we’re offering a Free Health Strategy Call from The Health Suite a one-on-one session designed to:
Evaluate where you are in your health journey Identify small, evidence-based changes tailored to your goals.
Create a personalised roadmap to make 2025 your healthiest, happiest year yet.
Book your Free Health Strategy Call today at www.thehealthsuite.com.au.
"Kingsley takes you to the heart of the topic Keeps it real with clear simple strategies to move you forward. Includes moments of fun, keeping it exciting to be amongst it."
-ReneeRowland
“Kingsley’s presentation was very impactful. He was able to connect with the audience and captivate the attention of the entire room. It was great to hear his perspective on creating the life that you want through implementing good habits.”
-AlanaFayCoomer.
Book Kingsley today and inspire your team to unlock their true potential.
Breathing.
We take it for granted but not all breaths are equal.
Like most Australian kids I played all kinds of sports growing up I was taught back then that, when exercising, the best way to get oxygen into my system was to take fast deep breaths through the mouth. Fill your lungs fast! Get that oxygen into the system! Sound familiar?
For a big percentage of us, mouth breathing is the norm. Not just during physical exertion but in daily life. A habit formed as a kid that’s still with us. We’ve never given it a second thought but it’s time we did.
Mouth breathing is, in the overall scheme of evolution, a very recent, Western culture, phenomenon. Native cultures the world over have breathed, happily and healthily, through their noses for millennia and avoided the plethora of health problems that affect our modern lives.
Breathing through the nose has numerous obvious benefits These include:
the nasal hairs and mucous filtering out pollen, dust and other allergens warming and humidifying the air before it hits the lungs
alerting us through it’s olfactory sensors of toxins in the environment
~ the perception of pheromones which are important for sexual arousal
However, the truly life changing benefits have only become evident, with scientific research, in recent years. Nitric Oxide (not to be confused with Nitrous Oxide or “laughing gas”), which is a primary regulator of vasodilation and pulmonary function is produced in the paranasal sinuses Breathing through the nose transports the Nitric Oxide to the lungs with the breath and into the cardiovascular system Mouth breathing bypasses the nitric oxide and it’s effects
To you on your morning run or me in a dynamic yoga class, big fast breaths through the mouth might get more oxygen into your lungs, but the nitric oxide from a slow, deep breath through the nose will dilate the blood vessels and get more of that oxygen from your lungs and into the muscles and other tissues that need it The heart doesn’t work as hard, you’re less short of breath and you can run for longer
The benefits of nose breathing and the resulting vasodilation extend into everyday life Reduced blood pressure, improved circulation, lower resting heart rate, reduced inflammation and the easy delivery of fresh oxygenated blood and nutrients to all the organs and tissues that might require it. Digestion, cognitive function and sexual performance all benefit.
It’s been proven that mouth breathing in children can negatively impact the development of the lower jaw, resulting in not enough space for the teeth and the tongue, recessed chins and undefined jawlines. It is also a major cause of gingivitis and bad breath in both children and adults.
There are, of course, certain short burst physical activities like weightlifting or sprinting in which mouth breathing and the fight or flight reflex that it can induce can be beneficial But for recovery between lifts or at the end of the 100m slow nasal breathing will markedly reduce recovery time
Slow, deep breathing through the nose can have an incredibly calming effect on the body and mind It’s the opposite of the fight or flight reflex that’s activated when you take a sharp breath through the mouth Try it when you go to bed TRY AND DO IT ALL THE TIME!
It will take conscious effort - some even go as far as taping their mouths shut before bed - to undo years of habit, but I speak from personal experience when I tell you the boost to your health and wellbeing are worth the effort.
As a yoga teacher, I’ve seen the benefits nasal breathing brings to students during class and, unfortunately, I’ve also seen the negative,
sometimes panic inducing, effects gasping through the mouth can induce
I hope this article acts as a catalyst for you to examine the subject in more detail If it does, I’d suggest adding “BREATH. The New Science of a Lost Art.” by James Nestor to your Christmas Wishlist.
Enjoy the Holiday Season and...Breathe. (Properly!)
Stay Cool: The Ultimate Summer Hair Guide for Men
It’s getting hotter, and you’re thinking about doing something radical with your hair. Hold up don’t do anything crazy until you’ve read this article.
Feeling like your hair is weighing you down in summer? You’re not alone. You’re spending more time outdoors, soaking up the sun, and dunking your hair in salt or chlorinated water. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. You’re unsure about what hairstyle to get or how to maintain it. Relax, bro I’ve got you covered. Keep reading.
Step 1: Talk to Your Barber
The first thing you need to do is have an honest chat with your barber Tell them your hair concerns what’s bothering you, how much time you’re willing to spend styling it, and the look you’re going for Your lifestyle matters too These details will help your barber find the perfect solution for the steamy months ahead
Yes, we’ve all thought about buzzing it all off at some point, but that might not be the best move You can still keep your hair just maintain it better and tailor the cut for summer conditions Not saying you shouldn’t rock the buzz cut, but make sure it’s a decision you’ve thought through and not a reaction to the heat
Step 2: Ditch the Cheap Stuff
Once you’ve nailed down your summer style, it’s time to upgrade your hair care game. Walk into your bathroom, grab that cheap shampoo or the infamous all-in-one body wash, and toss it in the bin Head to your local hair care store and pick up a sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner
Not sure what to get? Ask your barber they might recommend a brand or even have some in stock for you Summer activities lead to buildup from sweat, sunscreen, and the elements A sulfate-free shampoo cleans your hair without stripping its natural oils Pair it with a hydrating conditioner, especially if you’re spending a lot of time in the sun Leave the conditioner in for a little extra time it’ll lock in moisture and keep your hair soft and manageable all season long
Step 3: Slip, Slop, and Slap on a Hat
Now that you’ve got your style and products sorted, it’s time to talk protection. Prolonged sun exposure can wreak havoc on your hair
Use this as an opportunity to up your summer fashion game with a stylish hat Whether it’s a classic cap or a trendy bucket hat, make it non-negotiable Protect your hair while looking sharp
Step 4: Stay Hydrated
Hydration isn’t just about cooling off it’s crucial for your hair’s health too. When you’re sweating in the summer heat, dehydration can make your hair dry, brittle, and weak Combat this by drinking water consistently throughout the day Well-hydrated hair is shinier, more resilient, and better equipped to handle the season’s challenges
Step 5: Fuel Your Hair from the Inside
Your diet matters just as much as your hair care routine. Focus on eating foods rich in vitamins and minerals especially Vitamin C to support hair growth and strengthen your strands Load up on leafy greens, citrus fruits, and whole grains to keep your hair healthy from the inside out
Summer Hair, Sorted
Summer doesn’t have to be the season your hair dreads. With the right style, proper products, sun protection, hydration, and a nutrient-rich diet, your hair will thrive even in the heat. Talk to your barber, invest in quality care, and take control of your hair’s health Y own the season like
Follow and Sub
How to Maximise Your Relationship
By Andy Pocock
In a world where relationships often feel like a rollercoaster of emotions, maximising their quality and longevity is essential for personal happiness. Whether romantic or platonic, relationships require effort, understanding, and commitment. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, offers valuable insights into nurturing relationships. This article explores strategies derived from his research and other psychological principles to help you maximise your relationships.
Understanding the Foundation: The Four Horsemen
Gottman identified four negative communication patterns he called the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” which include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Recognising and addressing these behaviors is key to strengthening any relationship.
Criticism: Attacking a partner’s character instead of addressing specific behaviours. Use “I” statements, such as, “I feel unheard when you’re busy on your phone,” to avoid blame Contempt: The most damaging, characterised by disrespect Gottman’s research shows that contempt is a predictor of divorce Cultivate a culture of appreciation and respect through regular expressions of gratitude Defensiveness: A defensive reaction often escalates conflicts Instead of defending yourself, take responsibility for your part in the issue, even if it’s small Stonewalling: When one partner withdraws from the conversation, it can lead to feelings of abandonment If emotions run high, take a break to cool down and revisit the discussion later
Building a Positive Relationship: The Magic Ratio
Gottman also emphasises the importance of maintaining a positive-to-negative interaction ratio Stable relationships have around five positive interactions for every negative one To maximise your relationship, focus on increasing positive interactions through:
• Affection: Simple gestures, like hugs or compliments, strengthen emotional connections.
• Quality Time: Prioritise distraction-free time together, engaging in activities like cooking or walking.
• Active Listening: Show genuine interest in your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and reflect on what you hear to validate their emotions.
Conflict Resolution: Embracing Differences
Conflict is inevitable, but how couples handle disagreements can shape their relationship Gottman’s research stresses the importance of a culture of understanding and compromise Some conflict strategies include:
3
1 Focus on Solutions: Shift focus from problems to solutions, fostering teamwork
Accept Influence: Recognise both partners have valid perspectives and be open to compromise
2 Stay Calm: During conflict, remain calm to avoid escalating tensions Use techniques like deep breathing or taking a break
Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Connection
Emotional intelligence (EI) is crucial for relationship success EI involves recognising and managing your emotions and understanding others’ feelings To develop EI:
• Self-Awareness: Reflect on your emotions and triggers to communicate effectively
• Empathy: Practice seeing things from your partner’s perspective to foster compassion.
• Regulation: Manage your emotions constructively, taking a moment to process before reacting.
The Importance of Shared Goals and Values
Aligning on fundamental values and goals is essential for relationship satisfaction.
Couples who share similar aspirations, such as family planning or career goals, experience greater harmony Regular discussions about future plans help partners stay connected and navigate differences
The Importance of Shared Goals and Values
Aligning on fundamental values and goals is essential for relationship satisfaction Couples who share similar aspirations, such as family planning or career goals, experience greater harmony Regular discussions about future plans help partners stay connected and navigate differences
Commitment to Growth
Maximising a relationship requires commitment, effort, and a willingness to grow together. By addressing negative communication patterns, increasing positive interactions, embracing conflict resolution, cultivating emotional intelligence, and aligning on shared goals, couples can create a lasting partnership.
The key to maximising any relationship lies in mutual respect, understanding, and a shared commitment to each other’s happiness. As relationships evolve, so should the strategies that maintain and enhance them, ensuring love continues to flourish over time
