TOMATO EGG Zine, Issue 1

TOMATO EGG

FOUNDED: Agassiz Chan & Yoyo Wang

CO-FOUNDED: Katy Thompson

DESIGNED BY: Agassiz Chan, Katy Thompson and Yoyo Wang

EDITED BY: Yoyo Wang

IMAGE MAKER: Agassiz Chan

COPYWRITER: Natasha Yim & Ray Chong

CONTACT: Instagram: @tomatoeggzine Email: tomatoeggzine@gmail.com

PRINTED IN:

Central Saint Martins Publications Workshop

1 Granary Square

Kings Cross, London N1C 4AA

ISSUE #1, Printed: May 2024.

Stirring up the familiar with the unexpected, and blending the noStalgic comfort of a claSSic diSh with the unique perSonalitieS of london’S aSian creativeS.

Savor each page aS art meetS heritage in a deliciouSly unique exploration of culture, identity, and diaSpora.

Prologue - p Page 8-13

About Us

History of Tomato Egg

Page 10-11

Page 12-13

Part I: EGG - p Page 14-103

The Travelling Home /Enrui Chen

Disruptive discipline /Miao Su

Motherhood & Being a Daughter /Kyndro Yang

Where did the pandan cake go? /Ray Chong

Your Asian dad buying a shisha pipe /Charlotte Lau

Thinking about death and omakase tomato egg /Elizabeth Lum & Kim Chow

The new girl coming to school with a scooter? /Crystal Lee

The myth of Sisyphus - DIASPORA /Andrew Sin

Page 86-93

Page 94-103

Menu:

Part II: TOMATO - p Page 104-137

Tomato Egg inspired by my mum, among other things /Katy Thompson

Kiwi to Pom /Trazy Zeng

Takeaway Industry Secrets /Kerry Kwok

g Page 106-117

g Page 118-125

g Page 126-137

Part III: GARNISH - p Page 138-171

Send your future self an Email! /Ellen Huynh

Publishing, funding, Chutney! /Osman Bari

Tangible Love! /Tigris Li

g Page 140-151

g Page 154-159

g Page 160-171

Epilogue - p Page 172-179

Contributors & where to find them

Acknowledgment and Special Thanks

g Page 174-177

g Page 178-179

Prologue:

reetings & chat,

Set your table, Place your plates, Feeling hungry yet?

A Us

TOMATO EGG was founded by Agassiz Chan, Katy Thompson, and Yoyo Wang as an independent space and journal to document food and its rich subtext.

We seek to find a home for those who don’t feel at home anywhere; to find a path for those who are lost in their cultural identity, and to platform the at once endearing and melancholic memories around food culture.

In this first debut issue, we’ve focused on the identity of the tomato egg dish itself.

In keeping with tomato egg’s Chinese heritage, we documented 12 Asian creative diasporas’ unique recipes for tomato egg, and learnt about their experiences navigating the creative world whilst sharing the food. In addition to this we wanted to highlight career advice from 3 Asian professionals, sharing their experience of everything from being a full-time publication designer to what it feels like to be a Person of Colour (POC) in the design industry.

It was also a fantastic experience getting free food ;) — we had a total of 12 tomato and egg dishes over a span of 4 weeks (which probably saved us some money). Thanks everyone!

Food...

is a love language— ubiquitous to everyone and every culture as something that binds us together. Especially in Asian communities, it’s a sanctuary that brings together families as a conversation starter.

Food is far more than mere sustenance: meals are reflections of our past, present, and future. Behind each dish is a collection of personal histories, emotions, and individuality that are deeply individual yet paradoxically shared across the human experience.

The warmth of the family kitchen shapes generational recipes that have become more than just instructions for cooking; they are threads connecting us to our heritage and identity. Shared meals, whether around a family table or between two people, transform eating into an act of togetherness. The act of preparing a meal for someone is often a deeply personal expression of care — a nonverbal way of saying:, “You matter to me”.

We always begin our interviews by asking “what does tomato egg mean to you?” while each conversation is tailored to the individual. Something fascinating is seeing how seemingly simple questions like asking about a dish could lead to personal conversations that might not otherwise happen so early in a relationship. It’s especially poignant because being openly emotional — let alone vulnerable — is so discouraged in Asian households. But perhaps it’s this very missing intimacy growing up that makes us yearn for emotional connection as adults.

To you dear reader — we hope that if you ever feel lost in your identity, and personal creative journey that you find some comfort in this place we’ve built for you.

When it gets hard to find home out there, come home to TOMATO EGG.

The History of Tomato Egg

The tomato and egg is a humble yet profoundly symbolic dish. This outwardly simple meal , consisting only of stir-fried tomatoes and scrambled eggs, has a deeper significance that embodies the spirit of home within the Chinese community.

The recipe has long been a staple in Chinese households due to its accessibility, ease of preparation, and familiar flavours — making it a recipe ripe for passing down from generation to generation. Unlike other recipes, the tomato egg is rarely found in recipe books or restaurants. Instead it represents a traditional homemade meal only shared by word of mouth within each family, from mother to daughter, and father to son. During our conversations, many brought up that the tomato egg was the very first dish they learned how to make. Its simple mention evokes nostalgia and the memory of childhood.

**handsome chef we found online **

The dish symbolises the Chinese diaspora’s experience, blending Eastern and Western influences. In fact, the inclusion of tomatoes in Chinese cuisine is a recent phenomenon, illustrating cultural adaptation and global exchange. Tomatoes, which originated in the Americas, were brought to China in the late 16th century ; but it wasn’t until the 20th century that they gained prominence in Chinese cooking. Many families have since embraced the tomato and egg dish as an affordable and accessible choice.

For many overseas Chinese, the tomato and egg dish is more than just a meal, representing home and a tangible connection to their cultural heritage. It evokes the comfort of familiar flavours and the warmth of family gatherings, kindling memories of learning to cook alongside parents and elders.

By serving as a reminder of their roots and the collective memory of home, it forges continuity and a sense of belonging among the diaspora. Mirroring the historical context of tomato egg, this publication is divided into two sections: TOMATO and EGG.

The tomato — as the historically Western influence in this dish — represents those who grew up in Western society, with the egg referring to those brought up in their homeland in the East.

As one of the simplest Chinese recipes, stirfried tomatoes and eggs 番茄炒蛋

Fannie Tao (2022), CELEBRATE DIVERSITY MONTH - TOMATO & EGG STIR FRY.

¹

ElizabethLum,Kim Chow, Charlotte Lau , AndrewSin , Mi

Su, Ray Chon,

What came first? The tomato or the egg?

,uaL

Part I: EGG

Those who grew up in an Eastern culture

The Travelling Home

with Enrui Chen

What does tomato egg mean to you, Enrui?

Enrui: Well growing up, I was actually allergic to eggs! But as I got older, I just kept eating them and I could eventually tolerate it. I don’t know if I could live without eggs now– I think that’s the one food I can’t live without.

It’s also tasty in every dish–everything, no matter how you cook it. I guess I found out after I had tomato egg and it tasted bomb. Yeah–that’s my special first memory.

What about like, the first time you remember someone like, making it for you?

Enrui: I can’t remember the first time someone made it for me. But growing up, my grandma had diabetes, so my mum cooked everything at home without sugar. When I went out and ate it with my friends, I could taste the difference–other families’ tomato egg tasted quite sweet. I could see the difference between dishes outside and dishes made at home.

As I grew up and started cooking for myself, I slowly began adding sugar to my dishes–I guess this was my way of trying to feel more connected to Shanghai.

“To me, smell is very interesting, because when you walk on the street, you can experience the scents from other houses, or other families’ cooking”

Do you see the act of cooking, and specifically tomato egg, as a reflection of your identity? Do you see any parts of yourself in this dish in any way?

Enrui: I can, yes. Actually one of my friends commented on my cooking process, about how it’s very clean and linear. I prepare all my ingredients beforehand to cook, and she commented on how it was different to her other friends, who rush to prepare things in between the process. Which is not like me at all.

Do you think the things associated with cooking and eating, like smells, for example, is something that connects us to other people and places?

Enrui: I think it definitely connects, because when we’re sitting together–at the same table–we smell the same things and taste the same things. To me, smell is very interesting, because when you walk on the street, you can experience the scents from other houses, or other families’ cooking. You’re able to get a glimpse of their backgrounds, from the smell of the spices or whatever. It’s really interesting that way.

(You did this one project before related to food memories? It was on 雙皮奶 (Chinese milk pudding).

Enrui: Oh yes! That was a cute one. <laughs> I haven’t really done many projects about food recently, but my most recent work focuses a lot on attachment issues, like attachment theories. I guess the food tastes are quite similar, and correlated with attachment to the hometown. Attachment theories, such as avoidant or anxious.

“....my personal process of cooking and creating is quite similar, because I want everything to be ready to begin with. I would procrastinate the outcome if everything feels unprepared....”

What made you interested in attachment theory related projects?

Enrui: Well, I have issues…moving on from things. As in, I feel really sad and depressed when I have to move away or get rid of people or things.

I feel like you talked a little bit about already, can you describe how your creative work reflects your cultural or personal history, or if it doesn’t relate, then what do you think of your creative work, how would you describe it?

Enrui: I think my personal process of cooking and creating is quite similar, because I want everything to be ready to begin with. I would procrastinate the outcome if everything feels unprepared, but unfortunately, I always feel unprepared. So I need to think things clearly beforehand… though I think I might try to get rid of that habit, because it’s preventing me from starting things.

But cooking is different–at the end of the day, you have to eat it.

“She commented on how it was different to her other friends, who rush to prepare things in between the process, during the process. That’s not like me at all.”

So for cooking, do you find that you can’t improvise recipes, or make stuff up on the spot?

Enrui: Well actually… that’s what I do mostly. <laughs> I usually just look at the fridge and make something with whatever ingredients are inside. It’s not always the tasty ones, but… at least it’s edible. <laughs>

Just speaking of childhood and food memories in general, do you think any of that has an influence on your creative work now?

Enrui: For me, it’s about all the emotions that I have not settled. I’ll wonder, “mmm, what’s happening?” And thought itself could become a project for me. The emotion just comes from myself, as well as my culture. My culture shapes me, for sure.

We learned a lot about how to approach briefs from CSM (Central Saint Martins), and you can say that we as designers cook with the ‘ingredients’ that are our individual backgrounds.

So what’s your definition of home? And where do you consider home right now, if you have one in mind?

Enrui: My definition of home is where I feel secure. And the most authentic home for me is with my parents and grandparents-- so that is my ‘home-home’. Here, the rented flat is also a sort of home. It’s where I can take control, so this London flat is also a home. The feeling of control is a kind of security for me.

Oh, I thought of an interesting thing! I went back home to Shanghai during the summertime, and I actually felt awkward during the first days. I felt as if the condition of the environment was quite unfamiliar. Since I haven’t been back in two years, the first few days were quite weird to call the place home. It’s like the in-between, of getting used to it. And it took a little bit to actually realise that it was ‘home’. Also, the fact that my parents had adopted many new habits that I’m unfamiliar with, definitely had to do with the strangeness too.

I also feel weird when I walk by King’s Cross, because it just reminds me that, “oh, I used to be in there.” And now I just have to walk by, and see other people living in the place where I once live. But strangely, I don’t really feel that way when I’m back home in Shanghai, maybe it’s because I know I have a home there. It’s in some sense, a lot more permanent. Yeah, permanent versus temporary homes.

Cry for the Moon

A hand-drawn stop-motion animation with a metaphoric story-telling approach. The sequence of whimsical visuals dipicts a relentless and lonely flying journey of a butterfly, which implies the feeling of loss while bidding farewell in life.

Ice Won’t Leave

Enrui explores the transformative materiality of ice in the form of 4-panel comics, using ice as a metaphor to embody the transient companionships and lasting presence of impact in life.

Disruptive discipline

with MIao Su

Can you please introduce yourself a bit and tell us briefly about your creative practice?

Hi, I’m Miao, an interactive experience and graphic designer based in London, originally from South China. I really enjoy cooking, especially when I have enough time and am in a good mood. Cooking is a way for me to relax and express myself creatively.

What does tomato egg mean to you?

Miao: It’s a very common dish in my hometown, one that a lot of people, including my mum cook. I learnt how to make it from her and from watching some cooking videos. When I first moved to the UK, cooking was a challenge since I hadn’t done much of it before. Tomato egg wasn’t my first dish, but it was one of the first dishes I wanted to master properly to make sure it tasted right.

I heard your dad is an artist too, did that impact your decision to be in the artistic industry in any way?

Miao: It did, but not in the way you might think. My dad, as an artist, focused on oil painting, portraits, landscapes. So growing up surrounded by his work, I naturally gravitated towards art, and I always knew I wanted to be an artist. Surprisingly though, my dad wasn’t keen on me drawing so much initially. He wanted me to focus on my studies rather than spend time drawing. He’d often say I should be doing something else instead of “drawing those things”, as he put it.

It sounds like there was a bit of a journey from his initial resistance to acceptance of your art. How did that evolve?

Miao: I think it evolved after primary school. At that point, my dad noticed I hadn’t stopped drawing. Back then, I was self-taught in many ways and continued to develop my skills, and he began to see that I might have a bit of talent and started to support me more. He offered me a chance to explore art further, which was a significant shift from his earlier stance. Despite his own background in art, he never pushed me into it; he wanted to make sure it was my own choice.

You mentioned drawing a lot during your childhood. Was being an artist something you always wanted to pursue?

Miao: Yes, as a child, I was very sensitive to drawing and seeing things. I used to draw on almost every page of my books—Ultraman, cars, robots, guns, and the like. Even though my dad initially wanted me to focus on studying rather than drawing, he recognised my talent over time and supported my pursuit of art.

How did your education in China shape your approach to art compared to your experience in the UK?

Miao: In China, their focus in teaching art is on the technique itself and replicating images accurately, especially for art school exams. Contrasting this with the UK, there’s a greater emphasis on creativity here and exploring different materials and concepts. I’ve found the approach here more liberating and conducive to developing my own style and voice as an artist.

/This project focuses on issues with climate and extreme weather brought by disenchantment and communicating with audience in a theology way is the main purpose of the project. My idea of weather forecasting is through a shamanic weather controlling to warning people in modern life about future climate crisis.

How did this transition happen?

Miao: The transition didn’t feel drastic at all, it actually felt quite natural at that stage I was already curious and wanted to explore different aspects of art and design. Studying communication and interactive design really allowed me to do this and engage with the audience in ways I’d never done before.

Do you think your background in doing more technical art from China influences your current work in any way?

Miao: Oh 100%. I’ve found my training in China on the importance of technique and precision to be absolutely invaluable in bringing creative ideas to life quickly. Their rigorous approach and focus on replicating images really forced me to hone these skills, and now I’m able to apply them in more creative and experimental ways.

Forecast/ of the future climate crisis

The transition to a new educational system must have been quite a shift. How did you adjust to the different teaching styles in the UK?

Miao: I’ll be honest, it was challenging at first, especially finding my place within the creative community here. The UK education system encourages a lot of freedom and exploration, which I found to be very different from my experience in China. But once I embraced this new way of learning, I did find it to be incredibly rewarding. It really allowed me to explore a broader range of ideas and mediums, and ultimately helped me develop a more distinct voice as a designer.

You’ve mentioned working on projects that blend art with technology, like the shamanic drum project. Can you share more about what drives these explorations?

Miao: My interest lies in how we can use design to connect with people on a deeper level—to communicate complex ideas and provoke thought. The shamanic drum project, for example, was inspired by my research into shamanism and weather control. It was a way to explore how ancient practices and beliefs could be reinterpreted in a modern context, using technology to engage audiences and invite them to consider the impact of their actions on the environment.

/The visual is telling the story of a Mongolian singer who travels the world and, amid various challenges and moments of confusion, rediscovers himself.

/Shadow never left us in our everyday life as an adult, but it has lost the magic we used to had in our childhood imaginary world, our project offers audiences an imaginary playground with hands shadow game, turning adults to children again with vivid animals shadows created by animal hand gestures, the technical is based on gesture detect from opencv pycthon to control unity game scene

I Come From Far/ MV Design

Reimagine/ Tools: Opebcv- Python, Unity engine

M otherhood

& Being a Daughter With Kyn d r o Yang

What is tomato egg to you, Kyndro?

Kyndro: Honestly, I have never really eaten this dish before as my mum doesn’t cook it. However, when I was in elementary school, I would have it then because it was usually the cheapest and quickest dish available at school. Although it’s not a dish I usually make at home, I’ll sometimes cook it because it’s super quick and easy. Although, I prefer to make tomato egg into a 湯麵 (soup noodle) instead of having it with rice, as I don’t like sticky food.

So this is not your go-to recipe for tomato egg then? It would have been interesting to see your take on it.

Kyndro: If I’m super, super, super lazy, I will do this (with rice). Because I can make it and then separate it into portions so that I don’t have to cook later on. in like a few days so I won’t have to cook later on, and you can’t do that with noodles.

What’s your homey dish then?

This one <pointing to stir fry celery and carrots> Basically, any fried celery or fried vegetables. So I really like eating celery, but it has to be Asian celery! But the one I cooked here is the Western kind, and it doesn’t smell that strong- here, <points to celery> it’s sort of like a coriander smell.

Y: Oh… I’m not a fan of coriander.

Kyndro: Wait, does it actually taste like soap to you? I hear that people who don’t like coriander say it tastes like soap. Apparently, it’s because of your genes.

Because of your gene?

Kyndro: Yeah, so when you’re born you already don’t like it.

Y: Oh, okay, so I’m not a picky eater!

Kyndro: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re not picky. It’s because of your genes!

Do you think cooking is a way to bring people together?

Kyndro: So, you know when you’re cooking something delicious and the smell is just filling up the entire house? Well, that’s what I love about cooking. My flatmates always come home and the first thing they say is “Oh, it smells so good in here”. And then, I’ll offer them some of what I’m cooking and they’ll be like “Yes, please!”. I’m not the type of person who makes fancy dishes or anything like that. I just like to cook homely dishes that I know will fill me up. But, when I see my flatmates’ reactions after they taste what I’ve cooked, it makes me feel proud. They always finish everything and that just makes me happy. I mean, who doesn’t love it when people appreciate their cooking, right?

Have you come up with anything that you realise that you kind of really like to eat?

Kyndro: Well instead of trying to cook new things, I just try to re-cook what my mom usually makes. So most of the dishes I make are usually what she used to make for me. So currently, my best dish is shangguji tang. I will make it next time! <laughs> The thing is, most of the dishes I never learned when I was back in Taiwan, I always learned it when I was here in London. I usually just ask my mom “what do I put?” And she will tell me the steps over the phone, and I learn it like that. So I never learned it with my mom standing next to each other.

Do you like the distance?

Kyndro: Yeah, I like the distance. Actually for me, you need to have distance. If we’re together all the time, I’ll feel crazy and I will make my mom crazy too. So everyone gets crazy, which is not very healthy.

Where feels like home to you? London or Taiwan?

Kyndro: Right now…nowhere honestly, but if I had to choose, it would be London.

Then, how do you define home?

Kyndro: So… it won’t be Taiwan even though I spent my entire childhood and even went to university there. A few years ago, I took a gap year and went back to Taiwan to stay with my parents, and it turned out to be a nightmare. I never lived at home for so long, even during high school, I stayed in school accommodation since I lived far away from school and only went home on weekends. So, I only had to deal with my parents for 2 days each week. But due to the pandemic, I had to stay home for an extended period, and it was a challenging experience. So, I decided to look for internships or something that would allow me to leave home.

Do you feel like the influence of home or family has become a driving force for your creative practice? Does it make you avoid dealing with certain responsibilities, for example, preventing you from applying for internships or other opportunities?

Kyndro: If we’re talking about decisionmaking, my past experience is still influential. And it always was, because I’m too scared to go back to Taiwan, and I don’t want to go back to Taiwan. I also don’t want to waste money, because it has been a thing in the past where it has controlled me.

I would say that around 50% of the reasons why I’m doing the job right now is because I need a visa, and that I need to pay for everything by myself. I feel that if I wasn’t influenced by my parents, I wouldn’t be making these kinds of decisions. I acknowledged that most of my career decisions are influenced by my family and my fear of going back home.

“I don’t know if this is what you’re doing for sure, but I feel like you’re also living your life for your mum, in a sense.”

“Living for my mum?”

“Yes, living for your mum.”

“I’m living for my mum... I know I am.”

Photography of After Dark

A

whale falls, all thrive: Visions of our Future

Where did the pandan cake go?

With: Ray Chong

What does tomato egg mean to you?

Ray: My family and I didn‘t cook much in the past. It was only when I went to university that I started to explore cooking. Since my parents were always busy before, we never had much time to spend together. But during the pandemic summer, we spent more time together, also that’s when I started cooking a lot. It felt like I was making up for lost time by learning how to cook and creating precious memories with my family.

When you say your parents didn’t cook a lot for you, because of work. Do you feel that this impacted your sense of home?

Ray: I always felt strange because I spent most of my time with my grandparents. I spend about five days a week at my grandparents’ house and would only go home on weekends. Interestingly, many people grew up having tomato eggs, but not me, my grandparents never cooked them.

Would you say your practices have a very strong identity, to home or your Asian touch?

Ray: My practice is focused on universal qualities in humans. I’m interested in emotions and things that tie us together. Some people find power in thinking about their identity. Especially when we are aboard, it’s something that we start to become more aware of.

My way of dealing with that is to go the other way and think “what is the common between us, as human?” My practice is about technology, interaction and demonstration. But thinking about identity is one of the reasons why I decided to go down this route. I feel different and not entirely comfortable in this country, which I wonder ‘What is there that connects me to someone else?’

Part one: EGG

Do you want to expand on why you don’t feel comfortable in this country?

Ray: Being here, it’s like you have to tell your life stories to help other people understand you every time. It’s not like a huge discomfort, but it’s just like an awareness of your identity, which you don’t need to deal with when you’re at home. I feel like it’s such a privilege not having to know your ethnicity, or how it plays a part in the way you appear to people. But when you’re here, people consider that. You know when Asians get asked the questions. Like “Oh where are you really from?” That’s such a common question that we get asked.

Do you dislike it when people ask a lot of questions about your culture rather than about you as a person? Or do you enjoy their curiosity?

Ray: I feel like I’m from one of those countries where it’s quite unknown. So I guess it is kind of nice when people want to know about Singapore, but that’s also because they don’t have any preconceptions.

How would you describe your identity right now then? If not cultural?

Ray: Honestly, I feel like at the top of my head, it’s my career, a creative technologist. That’s the first thing I think of. Second thing would be I’m gay. Then it would be my culture. It’s always Singaporean first and Hakka next.

What got you into technology in the first place?

Ray: Since first year, my computation tutor Jazmin Morris made me feel like I could do it. I’ve always been interested in the forefront of things, like advancements and new developments. Technology is where something new is always happening.

“Every new piece of technology helps you understand new things about human beings and reveals new things about us.”

Providing new avenues to have fun to question things and gain new experiences. I think that’s, like, really, really, really exciting and that’s what I think is powerful about technology.

What do you think your, like, interest in understanding that human experience comes from?

Ray: Just like the star sign, I think that the human experience is complex and multifaceted. I empathise with people and try to understand things from their perspective. I believe that the more you know about something, the more in-depth it becomes.

“Our diversity of backgrounds and experiences is what makes us unique, but it’s our commonality of being complex creatures that bring us together..”

It’s stuff like emotions which branch out and cause all of this diversity of experience and difficulty of living with each other. I believe that we should find a way to see each other.

Do you feel comforted by exploring this aspect?

Ray: Yes, I find comfort in exploring the objective aspects of situations. Say if you were a scientist, and you’re learning about objective things, right? You’re learning about the human body and everything. And it’s just what you see that is what it is. And, like, all of the subjective things are important. But, it gives you a lot of peace of mind to know that you’re looking at something objective.

Forecast

Forecast is a sentimental window that uses light and mist to experientially recreate past weather conditions for a future civilisation forced underground by climate change.

Inspired by the rising need to shelter in subterranean and air-conditioned architecture in tropical Singapore — where temperatures are rising at twice the global average — it imagines how a devastated society might cope with a bleak outlook by looking back at better times.

Is objectivity something that brings closure to you?

Like knowing that there’s a universal answer to something?

Ray: Sort of. That is what I’m interested in is connectivity, as opposed to just objectivity. So it’s seeing that people go through the same things and all of that.

Do you find comfort in understanding people and things, perhaps because you wish for similar understanding from others towards yourself, leading to reciprocal understanding?

Ray: Oh, that’s very interesting. I’m always interested in people in general. Because my brain is always questioning. Or, trying to understand what’s going on. I think that’s nice to me because that what you present is not always what you want to present or what you feel on the inside. It’s helpful for me to think that way to analyse things. If something goes wrong, I would think that maybe what I felt in that moment differs from what others felt in

Also, is nostalgia a nice feeling for you, or is it a bit melancholic?

Ray: I think it’s a bit melancholic because the culture in Singapore is declining. It’s kind of dying. For example, my grandma and the stuff that she makes, e.g. the carrot cake. No one makes them the same way that she does, even though they learn it from her. Because all of this traditional stuff is not being made anymore. It’s not being passed down in the same way.

What do you mean that Singapore is not preserved?

Ray: Back then, would they be more generational? Also, the quality of it. I feel like a lot of stuff about food is about paying attention to what matters in the preparation. If it’s fried chicken, how crispy is it? What do you do to the batter? Do you whip it? Or, what do you add? Is it beer or something? All those small details are being lost.

I know you said your practice is not cultural or too related to identity, right? But then, do you think there’s a role you can play to preserve or keep it going for the culture?

Ray: Honestly, I feel like just being interested is quite important. I’m aware of all these things that are changing. At some point, I feel like they’ll kind of come to me over time. Being overseas has made me more aware of that Southeast Asian Chinese is different from Chinese from other places, whether it’s Chinese immigrants in America or people from China. Yeah, I think it’s made me want to preserve more of the unique aspects.

The Space Between Us

The Space Between Us is a crafted meditational aid and planetarium gifted to loved ones experiencing traumatic relationship changes.

As a poetic visual language, the product illustrates family, friends, and lovers as celestial bodies orbiting a star.

Designed to guide quiet reflection around the relationships in our lives, the meditational interface plays while moving each planetary knob around its orbit, creating a sense of soothing physicality that focuses the mind.

Illuminate

Illuminate is an audio-visual experience set up as a contemporary, technological alternative to the confessional booth. By dimensionalising catharsis, it aims to amplify its effects.

Inspired by aurorae, a beam of muted light is projected and flickers softly on a wall.

When people approach the microphone installed on a plinth with their troubled thoughts, a computer program receives the audio from the confession in real time and translates it into sparks of colour — a visual parallel for the emotional catharsis that comes with allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

YourAsiandad buyingashisha

with Charlotte Lau

Hi Charlotte! Can you please introduce yourself and talk briefly about what your creative practice is? As an artist, what do you do?

Charlotte: Hi my name is Charlotte, I’m 22, and my main interests are in 3D animation, 3D modelling, and concert visuals. When I first started doing art, I loved the 2D stuff-- I loved charcoal, and I loved sketching. But then I started to get bored of it, because I need something – something I can touch, something I can grasp. So I thought to myself, ‘should I do sculpture?’

And I quickly realised, no – that’s too expensive, I don’t think I can do that. So then, I did 2D animation when I went to my first uni in SCAD (Savannah College of Arts and Design, Hong Kong). So I did 2D animation for one year back in Hong Kong, and I hated it. Because I didn’t realise 2D animation is frame by frame, and so when you go back to see what you’re doing, then you have to sketch your line out, and THEN when you spend like fucking 30 minutes it’s only like two scenes! Or it’s not even two scenes, it’s more like two frames.

Then afterwards I found out in 3D there is no maths at all, it’s all built up with numbers, and it’s so much easier – like to make a ball roll over on the screen, I can do that in two seconds, but if I do that in 2D animation, it’s going to be three days worth of work.

What got you into animation in the first place?

Charlotte: I don’t remember when it started but I was just looking at things in general –commercials, YouTube, whatever. And then I thought to myself, ‘oh, this is cool!’ And I think that’s when it clicked that this was 3D animation. Because I didn’t connect to it before – I think SCAD fucked up my point of view on animation.

In DSE (Hong Kong Diploma of Secondary Education), everything is only fine arts and painting. That’s all they teach you in DSE – the homework stuff. When I first got introduced to animation, I thought it was only cartoons because all they would talk about was Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney and so forth.

But when I came here, it broadened my perspective. I thought, ‘okay, there’s more to animation than just cartoons.’

Did you have any experience with 3D before you came here or did you start here?

Charlotte: The only experience I had was brief, for around five minutes only. Yeah, that’s when I first touched it. And then I remember during my uni, at SCAD, it suddenly shut down (there was a drama with the government). I then went to see Elizabeth’s (see Elizabeth Lum’s spread!) study agent when she was already planning to go to CSM (Central Saint Martins) –she was doing a foundation course in Hong Kong.

So I went to see her agent and I told her I wanted to do 3D modelling, though she was like, “You can do game design!” And I went, “Okay, sure!” So I went into game design and I did that for three years. For fucking three years… I did one project on 3D modelling, which was making a bus stop from London.

‘who said I want you?’

Pinky Promise

Just Acid

So, I’m interested in exploring more about the game design that you mentioned. Do you work on your own projects? Or do you just do briefs?

Charlotte: Throughout the course, there were a lot of projects. We did a 12-second game, as in we had to make our own 12-second game. There was a timer that counted down from 12 seconds and the player needed to get the goal within 12 seconds, so that was one of the projects I worked on. My game for the brief is called ‘Big City Big Chicken’. There is a little character, and then there are some big chickens that poke their beaks at the character, and there are three of them. So the player needs to try to manoeuvre and not get hit by the beak to get to the destination within 12 seconds.

And then there was a project called ‘Corridor Monster,’ I did that when I was living by myself in student accommodation. I feared everything because I was scared that someone was going to follow me home. So that’s what I did – it was about a monster chasing a character.

For my final year project, I collaborated with two of my friends. So I did all the 3D, the character design, the environmental design, and the narrative design, and they did all the coding. I like coding… but they’re way better than me. So I would say, “Let me do the art, you do the technical shit. Then we can make a good game.”

What was the game about?

Charlotte: The game’s called ‘Charlie’, because a lot of people call me Charlie! It’s just a random name, but it was set in a post-apocalyptic world.

Charlie is a non-binary child, with a TV as a head. We created several levels – maybe around five levels – and he needed to navigate the world to – I don’t even remember what the goal was – but there were monsters in there. There was a monster called Sandra. Those are just random names, Sandra and Tony.

Oh, so they’re based on real people?

Charlotte: No, no, no, they’re not. But funnily enough, our dealer’s name is Sandra. But back to the game, Sandra is a mutated monster.

*Shows photo*

So this is Sandra, that’s Charlie. And then we have Tony and the demon babies.

I love demon babies!

Charlotte: The town is inspired by Hong Kong, there are no iconic landmarks though, but you can tell it’s influenced by Hong Kong. Okay, here’s what I wrote for the game description: “Charlie is a playable video game where you control Charlie using their trusty bow and arrow to unravel the mystery of how you arrived there and what relation you have to the stepmother and evil doppelgänger who seems to be the gatekeeper to your answers.”

So basically, here’s a bow and arrow, and it’s a black-and-white game. And then the bow and arrow are all coloured. So green represents acid, red is fire, and yellow is electricity. And then there are different tasks you need to do, and the evil stepmother is one of the bosses, her name is Karen. <laughs>

Did your game have any other influence from Hong Kong aside from the visuals? Did it somehow come in the story?

Charlotte: No, because I always wanted to do narrative, like storytelling, etc. So I thought, let me play around with the story. There isn’t a big influence, I just came up with whatever I could and then the names are literally what I can think of on the spot. Even the name Charlie, I didn’t put thought into it. I’m just like, okay Charlie it is!

I feel, because people that study abroad, even people that grew up here – Asian diaspora, we’ve discovered that a lot of us, to some degree, avoid doing projects that touch on our Asian identity. How do you feel about that? Do you touch on any?

Charlotte: I didn’t used to. Not that I’m not proud of being Asian - I just thought, why do I need to do this? I have so much I can do – why do I need to tie it to my heritage? But I think living here influenced my thinking as well.

I just realised being Asian is so great! And a lot of times I just think that to myself. And then, sometimes when I make decisions – I try to look at Asian artists for inspiration.

So now if I see an artist I like, and I discover they’re Asian, I’m really proud of them. I’m like ‘Oh my God we’re the same race!’ And now, I think creatively because I haven’t been doing Asian-influenced stuff, I’m just doing whatever I want. Maybe in the future, I’ll make a Dragon Year animation, who knows.

How do you think the education system changed the way you express yourself through your art? Especially moving from Hong Kong to London.

Charlotte: It’s like here in London, we have so much freedom. They let you do whatever you want. You can put nipples on a painting and submit it, and they’re like, “Oh, this is good!”

But in Hong Kong, they’re like, “No, you can’t do this. You need to censor it.” I heard that from other people because I’m not educated by the Hong Kong system. Here in London, it’s about doing whatever you want; there’s no limitation, just whether you can do it or not.

Going back to Hong Kong feels good, especially when my close friends like Kim & Elize are staying there. Honestly, it took me a while to grasp we’re on separate paths, as I was dependent on them when I first arrived. I was depressed and had my first panic attack in my first year, which was worsened by COVID-19. But I’ve grown a lot since then and recognised my path despite loving London.

The financial situation here is tough; rent and living costs are high, which makes saving hard. So going back home makes sense for me, especially to reconnect with my brothers since I haven’t been with them for around four years. I’m the eldest, with two brothers - five and seven years younger. We didn’t grow up together, and they’re in their puberty phase so they don’t show their affection towards me, but they’ll show it subtly when I bake when I’m back home. It’s sad to leave… but I miss my dogs.

Do you have any thoughts or reasoning that you can think of why HK is so... restricted?

Charlotte: I think it’s because we’ve just grown up with that, so we didn’t think about anything else. We just thought, oh, this is what we’re taught. So if this is the way you’re brought up, of course, you’re going to go by that because that’s all you’ve been taught your whole life. Also, people are afraid of changes, so they just stick to what they’re familiar with. They might think ‘I don’t need that’, or ‘I have my own thing’, etc. But we’re able to see the difference now because we’re out of the country.

So a lot of them also have not explored what’s out there, but it is a privilege to be able to go abroad and see what’s out in the world. I feel people can probably sense that they want changes, but like they might be scared, because of the environment, right?

Not saying we’re fucking heroes. But what we have experienced makes us able to bring back different mindsets to show that you can do your own thing. So I think that’s important for Hong Kong-based artists to not necessarily stay in Hong Kong, but you know, also because not everyone can physically do so.

Are there any challenges you’re kind of expecting to face when you go back to HK?

Charlotte: Yeah, your life back home sort of ‘paused’ when you’re abroad, and I think I’m just so comfortable with the environment in London right now. I can think of another challenge: I’m going to overthink about how to dress. So I’m getting a job in HK to be an event coordinator, which is an office-based job. So I’m ready to be an office siren. <laughs>

Although I love Europe, at the end of my life like when I die, or when I retire, I want to stay in an Asian country - like Singapore, or Taiwan.

What would you say you think you changed the most ever since you came to London?

Charlotte: First of all, obviously, my style. Secondly, my independence. Even though I’ve always been independent, since I’m the oldest. When I first came here my mum was always like “You’re wasting so much money, we only have, blah blah amount left in the family,” and I’m just like, “Ah… I’m a child? You shouldn’t have told me this?”

Apart from that, I grew a lot as a person independently. Because now I’m making my own money, so I can tell my mum that she can’t tell me what to do anymore.

I think the relationship with my mum is also so much better now. Cause back in high school, I fought with her all the time and tried to break the rules since she’s super traditional, she’d say stuff like ‘You can’t dye your hair’, or ‘you can’t have ear piercing,’ etc. Well, I have 11 piercings now!

I don’t know and then my dad started smoking weed.

Oh, really?! Your dad?

Charlotte: Yeah! Before they weren’t like this, and then my dad went to Thailand and the first picture he showed me was all the weed! And I was giving him advice like ‘Don’t smoke too much on your first try’, and then he came to see my graduation and we smoked together.

It was my mum’s birthday as well. And then my dad was like, ‘Oh, you have weed?’ I said yeah, then showed him my collection! Like ‘This is my grinder, this is my weed, these are my filters.’

pick up some more, and he offered to give me money for that. And that’s how he gave me like 40 pounds to pick up!

I don’t know what’s happening with that—it’s as if my dad’s back to 25 now. He also made a party room, he has a Moroccan-themed and a Greek-themed one. Oh yeah, and then one day he came back from home and was like, ‘Charlotte, I brought a shisha pipe!’

I want to be friends with your dad.

Charlotte: But the thing is, I don’t actually speak to my dad a lot. We still have a lot of common things, but we sit in silence a lot of the time. But I speak a lot with my mum. I’d tell her all the drama I have in my life, like who got pregnant, etc. I always like to mess with my mum too, like saying to her ‘Are you proud of me?’ because my grades are shit, but then she would actually say ‘I’m proud of you.’

That’s something every Asian kid would wanna hear, isn’t it?

Charlotte: Right? That’s kind of unexpected because it’s something you have been wanting to hear from them. I would always pick on them now. I’ll be like, ‘Oh, you guys proud of me?’ It’s just a joke like deep down, cause I already know they are. The feeling of trust made me want to be more honest with them, I think even if I did drugs, I would tell them. Cause even now I’ll just be like, ‘mum I had weed the other day’, and she’d just be like, ‘Well, just don’t bring weed back home, or on the plane’.

Elizabeth Lum Kim Chow with &

Thinking about Death And OmAkAsEToMaTo EgG

Do you guys wanna start by telling us about your original tomato egg and how it relates to you? Do you guys wanna start by telling us about your original tomato egg and how it relates to you?

Eliz: My tomato egg is not that deep. Actually, I learned how to cook tomato and egg from the internet. No seriously, it’s true!

Why did you go on the internet and search how to cook tomato egg?

Eliz: Because I have to cook something for my flatmates in Sketch house. I want to be like, oh, I’m good at home cooking.

Kim: I know how to make tomato and egg, because tomato and egg is something you have at your grandma’s. And then if you know how to cook tomato and egg, it feels like you know how to cook everything. So you know, eggs are cheap, right? Because like I’m really close to my grandparents and they always come over to cook dinner and they both love to cook egg. So my grandpa likes steaming. And my grandma likes tomato fried egg with pork. But I kind of take off like the pork because it’s too rich for me.

So is the pork version more nostalgic for you than this tomato egg?

Kim:I guess, I didn’t even know why I didn’t put pork when I came here, when I cook for myself.

Y: Because it’s not cheap.

Kim: Because it’s not cheap! It’s like extra money on top of it. I think stirring the egg kind of like meditation. I think my grandmas like an expert with stirring eggs. She literally sit there and just stirring eggs for 15 minutes. Eggs! 15 minutes!!

Even though I already know how to cook tomato egg, it’s nice to ask them about the recipe. Just tell them you want to learn from them and it would make their day.

Would you say cooking at home is a crucial part of making a space feel homey for you?

Eliz: Yeah, I think when I start cooking at a new place, it’s like unboxing my home for the first time.

Elizabeth Lum & Kim Chow

Kim: Yeah, I was born in Hong Kong, but I don’t think I belong to Hong Kong.

Would you want to further elaborate on that?

Kim: It’s like an international student thing, because you stay here longer. The longer you stay aboard, the more you feel like there’s a distance between you and home. We are like “third-culture kids”, is that the right word? Or “Multiple-culture children? There’s a phrase for these people like they live in two places and they don’t feel a sense of belonging.

Even though you have a bunch of friends that you are comfortable with. Especially when you are not talking to people who are from the same hometown, there is still something that feels left out. It’s just like, I don’t belong to anywhere, not here nor Hong Kong. I did my first uni project about Finding Home. At the time, it was my second year in London and I couldn’t find a place for myself.

Kim: Ohh, do you still have the 44 Instagram account? (To Eliz)

Eliz: Ohhhh yeah.

Kim: Show them! So basically, I was missing my cat so much while doing the project. Growing up, there were always cats by my side since I was 2. I spend more time with cats than my parents. I remember we had this little vacuum that looks like a cat. And I thought “Oh, it looks like a pet.” Because of its sizes! And we built a house for it. We even made Instagram for the little vacuum cat. What was the name of it?

Eliz: I think it’s 44. It’s because we live in the flat 44.

Kim: And then we made a new pet because we both miss ours so much!!

What do you guys feel about not belonging to, or like, not feeling like you belong to either Hong Kong or London? Are you okay with the fact or is it kind of just...

Both in unison: Yeah. Hahahaha.

Do the memories play any part in your creative practice?

Kim: I have never done any cultural project, and actually had a short creative crisis. Everyone is doing something related to themselves, the place they were raised in and I just don’t have the desire to do it. I am not passionate to doing any culturally related work, I would say.

Before I came to London I didn’t have a really strong personality. I was very easygoing, to the extend that it was not a positive thing. That’s why all my projects are about finding the meaning of life.

Maybe I would be more vibrant and stronger if I was born in an environment that encouraged me to discover my personality.

When you say ‘finding meaning in life’, do you mean in general or like in an artistic sense?

Kim: In general! I have been doing this topic for four years since I came to London. Even though it has been the same topic, I can always find a different perspective. As I get older and more experience, the meaning of life just changes. I do believe when people say the meaning of life is finding yourself. but for me, it’s nothingness. Part one: EGG

Kim: In the beginning, I was kind of emo. Just being emotional, ‘Okay, where do I belong?’ After a while, I am fine with it. It can be a good thing not belonging to a place, any place. As in, if you are too attached to a place, you would never change.

A: Your project reminds me of a quote where a lady said, the moment she feels belong is whenever she is on a flight. She feels the most familiar and comfortable while at it. That’s when she feels like she is home. Do you guys feel like food is something that you use to bond with people?

Eliz: I do, like, yeah. I think food is a cheap way to teleport back to your country. It’s like a brief moment that you are at home.

Kim: I have a controversial opinion…I just don’t think I can date a vegan. It just like... against my personality. It feels weird to talk about how good meat taste in front of vegans, I feel bad... Also, it’s very important to share the joy in the food for me!

A: You can’t have Haribos!

Eliz: It’s the gelatin, yeah, vegans revealed how bad it was. Do you think we will be in hell?

A&Y: Maybe hell is home

“If you are over-obsessed with the idea of just pushing yourself to find meaning in life, that’s so depressing. If you think life is nothing and you know that you will die one day and you have to do something, you will be like Oh yeah, whatever. “

Elizabeth Lum & Kim Chow

Part one: EGG

A: This is so EEOAO, like an existential crisis everyone has.

Kim: I love that film!

A: You guys better be fucking obsessed with the movie.

Y: Did you guys cry when you watched it? Kim: I cried.

A&Y: We cry every time as well.

Kim: It’s like a perfect film to rewatch from time to time. It’s such an intense, saturated movie that I need to another watch to digest it.

Y: It’s so crazy. It also does existentialism well.

Kim: Like the muted rock scene was like “life is fucking meaningless”.

Y: That scene made me so emotional for some reason. Even though it was just rocks. I was like ‘Why am I getting so teary?’

A: Did you like the film, Eliz?

Eliz: I didn’t finish it at all...

Kim: She fucking slept! She fucking fall asleep halfway through. Like WOW.

Do you guys think visual-wise, can you see some part of Hong Kong culture in your work?

Eliz: The hustle culture (see page X). Now that I can see my culture from a third-person perspective, it’s so fucking cool and I am having so much fun exploring it.

Kim: Okay, so I have a question. What do you think you changed the most within these few years?

A: I am gayer.

Y: I feel like I’m more myself. Even though it’s kind of strange thinking because it’s like how do I know who exactly I am? Because sometimes I still feel like I don’t know who I am as a person. But then it’s more of an intuition thing. I just feel like I’m more myself than I was before.

What about you guys then? What do you guys

think changed most about yourselves?

Eliz: My hair.

Kim: That’s so superficial bro. We’re all like emotional shit.

Y: Honestly, my hair changed me as well. Like it’s part of the courage.

Kim: Oh my god. I was a witness to the whole thing., at that time said she was going to dye her hair. First, she did this bangs, and bleached it with only two sections. And it slowly became more and more and more. In the beginning, it’s just like two lines of highlights. Look st her now!!

But do you guys think the reason we’re changed now is because of the environment mostly or because of time?

Kim: I think both.

Eliz: To be honest I do think the environment is more important than time. If I stay in Hong Kong longer I don’t think I would be the same at all.

Kim: No, I would be a tomboy forever.

Eliz: Forever and ever?

Kim: Forever and ever.

Elizabeth Lum & Kim Chow

Ticklish Tita

H u s t l e

S e c r e t s

☝❌ ✔

The Living Funeral

The concept of “death” is rooted in the fear of the unknown. For many, it’s not the physical act of dying that terrifies them; instead, it’s the concern that there might not be enough time to lead a meaningful life before death inevitably comes.

What defines a meaningful life? Living alongside other beings, we integrate into the complex social system, often losing contact with our true selves. As individuals, we must liberate ourselves from society’s preconceived notions of what is meaningful and embark on a personal journey to explore our unique understanding of life and our existence.

In this project, the explicit aim is to illustrate the beauty of death by showcasing a living funeral in ritual practice to reflect a human’s tone and feelings towards life and death. The idea of “what would you plan for your death?” puts death into real life by reframing the traditional funeral to a new and whimsical moment for people to feel more alive, imparting value to our existence within a finite time frame when death is separated from the funeral.

T he new girl coming to school with a scooter? with Crystal Lee

Hi Crystal! Can you please introduce yourself as a creative?

Crystal: Hi I’m Crystal! I came to London to study art as an international student. I’ve liked drawing since I was a kid because my mum loves drawing, and one of her passions is art as well. So I was quite inspired by her, and that’s why I’ve explored arts, photography and other related subjects since I was a kid. And now I’m continuing this as a uni student.

Do you think you get influenced a lot by your mum?

Crystal: Yeah, because I was born into a single parent family, so she raised me by herself.

Do you have any siblings or is it just you?

Crystal: Yeah, I have four siblings Including myself, and I’m the eldest of everyone.

Being the eldest daughter is always hard, right!

Crystal: I’ve always felt like the eldest. Say for example, when there’s a problem, you can’t just run away because you have the little ones looking up to you. There were so many times I just wanted to escape, and every time that happened, I had to keep myself from escaping because of my siblings.

Are you very close with your siblings?

Crystal: I feel like I’m very close to them. I remember one time I came home, my little sister came up crying to me. She’s around five, she’s so young! She’s actually my half-sister, from my stepfather when my mum was single before.

1

Do you get along with your stepfather?

Crystal: Yeah, but it’s still weird sometimes. Because we’re not related, I sometimes can’t really tell if he’s angry or not, so a lot of times I just overthink on my own. Thinking thoughts like “I wonder what he’s thinking?” that can be scary, you know?

Do you think living here in London changes the dynamic with your family? If so, in what particular way?

Crystal: Of course! Just look at us right now, we’re eating, but I can’t always eat with my family. And it’s a big part of Asian culture to eat together at the dining table, either outside or at home. Because at meal time, it’s a routine everyday where you talk to each other at that moment the most, to update each other on what happened and asking each other questions like “how’s your day? blah blah blah”. Now that I live alone, I don’t really have contact with them as much anymore.

2

How come you’re not in contact as much ? Do you feel you’re moving on with your life here? Or do you try to call them as much as you can?

Crystal: It depends, because the time zone is different. So sometimes even though I miss them, it’ll be night time here in London, but it’s early morning over there and they’ll still be sleeping. So I can’t just call them and disturb their sleep schedule.

What made you choose to come to London in the first place?

Crystal: I’m not quite sure, maybe it was destiny. Initially, I never thought I’d end up studying abroad, it’s just something I never considered as a single child. It was after my mum’s second marriage, at that point my parents both started looking for boarding schools for me and my siblings. There was an auntie that my mum’s friends with who came to talk to them, and she introduced them to a random boarding school in Scotland. So they just sent me to study there, and after that I ended up in UAL (University of the Arts London). What do you think about that? I was so happy though, actually! Even though at first I was upset, because I didn’t expect that in my life.

What do you think about that?

I didn’t have to study mathematics, and I was so happy because I hate mathematics! You only have to study three subjects here, and you’re not required to study mathematics, so that’s perfect.

Crystal’s dish served with salmon

Well, what was boarding school like in Scotland?

My eyes were so small.

What??

Crystal: <laughs> After I got there, my eyes became wide open. Because it’s so different to Hong Kong… sorry, I’m just trying to make a joke. <laughs> I mean, it’s still not that big, but it’s so different. My Scottish school was a white people school, and I was basically the only Asian girl there. So there were three girls’ houses and three boys’ houses. And in the house that I stayed in, I was the only East Asian girl at that time.

Yeah, that’s why when I first got there I was really introverted. I was quiet for one or two semesters because I was so freaked out, I felt like I needed to observe everything. I didn’t want to make any mistake because I was so worried about experiencing racism, but everyone was so friendly.

Also when I first got there, I was walking with crutches and a scooter because I had just finished a foot surgery. I used to do ballet when I was younger, and then one time, they discovered that the bone structure of my right foot is a bit different from the left one. But it didn’t really bother me, it was just a bit painful if I walked too long. So before I went to boarding school, my mum wanted me to fix this problem first so she wouldn’t be worried. So I was the new East Asian girl coming to school with a scooter. It was so funny, and then some people tried to steal it! That’s also why I wanted to observe everyone at first, because I wondered if they were being nice to me because they pitied me. <laughs>

You think you’ll be the same person as you are now if you didn’t go to Scotland? Or do you think it changed you in some really big way?

Crystal: I definitely wouldn’t be the same person, going to Scotland changed me a lot. When I was in Hong Kong, everything is so... I don’t know how to describe it. I said the [Scottish] school’s in the countryside, right? People from that type of countryside compared to city people are so different, they’re just really pure. The only thing that I never picked up is the Scottish accent.

Oh yeah, how come you didn’t pick up any Scottish accent?

Crystal: Well, because it’s an international boarding school. Most of them were white but they also came from different countries as well, mainly from other European countries like Germany and Italy.

But yeah, going back to your earlier question, that’s why it changed me a lot. Also the kids at that time, they would smoke weed at school— that’s something I’ve never heard of in Hong Kong before. And then people kept telling me, “Crystal, you’re so innocent”, “Crystal, don’t get a boyfriend”, blah blah blah. This experience really opened my eyes to how different the culture is. <laughs>

I am A Cat

The myth of SisyphusDIASPORA

with Andrew Sin

Can you introduce yourself?

Yeah of course. My name is Andrew, I first came to the UK around six years ago for uni studying film production in Surrey. Now, I work as a runner on film sets and music video sets, also modelling on the side. But now I mainly work part-time at a Taiwanese restaurant, bartending and waiting tables. Recently my family moved in with me, which is a good new chapter of my life. My new immigrant life, pretty good! <laughs> I have been helping them adapt to life here as well.

Is there anything you resonate with in your family’s experience of overcoming challenges while first settling down?

Andrew: I relate to them with the sense of feeling the underlying uneasiness of when you first move countries and shifting your entire life to a new environment; there’s some anxiety that comes with the loss of community, to the day-to-day life language that you use. You’d try to compensate for that by telling yourself that you don’t miss home at all, that life is so good here, I would never go back.

Now and then I think of not being able to see my home, especially for such an ever-changing city like Hong Kong. I’m scared that everything I know will be gone by the time I go back, that it’ll no longer be the same as before I left. A lot of memories come with that, that now solely exist in your mind.

“ After all, we need to find a way to make peace with situations, and the acceptance to move on. So we should all welcome and embrace changes.”

What does tomato egg means to you?

Andrew: Whenever I taste tomato egg, I get a small memory of my childhood back. It’s also a way for me to remember my mum.

It’s not anything fancy—it’s quite an easyto-make, homemade dish. The appearance isn’t anything glamorous and the ingredients are quite common. But although it’s nothing fancy, it’s how you make the dish that makes it really special. I quite enjoy making it, from the cooking to the eating. The whole process is almost therapeutic to me-- whenever I ever feel down or miss my mum, I would cook tomato egg. Tomato egg mean childhood to me. It’s a way of honouring, reconnecting and grounding myself to life.

Egg/ Short Film

This is an extremely personal angle because, and by the way, I’m going to use this for my film as well which is just a huge coincidence <laughs> —but this homemade dish left the strongest impression of my mother on me.

Do you still see Hong Kong as home again ? What is the definition of home for you ?

Andrew: That’s a really good question. Well, when I was a kid, I had a weird complex—I consumed a lot of Western media. And when you spend a lot of time with something, that kind of culture rubs off on you as well. So even though I grew up in Hong Kong, I didn’t feel like I belonged. In a way, I was rejecting my own cultural identity.

It was only after moving and studying here that I found out more about myself, and came to the realisation that my romanticisation of the Western world was not accurate at all. The silver lining was that I got really good at English, growing up with American TV shows. <laughs> So I didn’t have a particularly hard time adapting to the change of language.

It was only after all the political protests and COVID happened, that I realised I wanted to reconnect more with Hong Kong and what it means to me. It’s a bit sad to say, and a little late to be home now, because I did not cherish the time I was there. If I had paid more attention to life around me when I was young, maybe I would have made better memories and have a better perception of myself as well.

“As much as I want to call Hong Kong home, my immigrant identity doesn’t quite allow me to do so. I would say I am adapting in-between.”

But even though I’ve settled my life here in the UK, I’m not sure if I can call myself a Londoner. In terms of culture, I don’t see myself aligning perfectly with that. The same applies to Hong Kong as well. Of course, it will always be home. But right now, I’m stuck in the limbo state where I am adapting to life here but I’m not 100% ready to let go of who I am. So I’m not sure of my idea of home.

Is that your way of finding a sense of comfort from this limbo situation?

Andrew: Yeah, I mean I think it’s important to find where you want to go in life, but it can also be very confusing because you start to question everything.

Is this my home? Is this really what I want to do? Is this the right career for me?

For people our age, it’s normal to question things because life in your 20s is about experimenting and finding out who you are, and hopefully, by the end of your 20s you will have that figured out. But if not, I don’t think it’s the end of the world either!

“ Our whole life is a journey, we’re always moving from place to place. So acknowledging that, we are fine where we’re at right now!”

Part one: EGG

Do you feel like you have to stay in the UK, in the sense that Hong Kong is no longer a safe space anymore?

Andrew: But during uni, I began to appreciate my culture more and the physical distance has made me miss it a lot more. After graduation, I even questioned if I should go back to reconnect what I have been missing from when I was young.

In terms of staying in London, I think I kind of have to. It’s definitely true what you said about Hong Kong not feeling as safe anymore.

Last time I was back in the country, I saw a lot of tiny changes accumulating and altering the overall atmosphere. It was not as homely as I remember and the police were a big thing for me. I would be out and about and crossing the street, you’d see so many cops that come in a squad of four walking around. I have been ID-checked by them almost every time I ran to a group. It’s very stressful and keeps you on your toes and can’t really relax even when you’re outside. Ironically, the law enforcement actually made me feel less safe than before.

Last question, with everything that we talked aboutWhere are you at with your creative practice since graduation?

Andrew: I’ve been taking a break and I’m trying to get myself to crack on with creative work again. I need to work with what I see now and be comfortable with where I am at the moment. Also stop worrying about all the “What ifs”. So I would say my work and the stories that I have been telling are documented evidence of my stages of life.

My previous project was very focused on the political event that took place. It was very targeted at how the Umbrella Movement had affected the interviewees and like what they think is going to happen in the future.. Now looking back, I am focusing on how this political event has impacted lives. The main thing that I want to talk about is the immigration process of people leaving Hong Kong and how they are adjusting to life. More or less like what we are doing right now!

I’ve been living here for a few years, working and bringing my family here, coming from a personal angle, I think a lot of immigrants will be able to resonate with the piece. It doesn’t matter if they’re from Hong Kong, they might feel the same way as well, just leaving their home country. I think a lot of immigrants share the same sentiment regardless, they are no longer in the same home.

We must find peace living in the new life.

BE RIGHT BACK/ Short film

Boiling Point/ Montage Short Film

KerryKwok,KatyThompson, Tracy Zeng , KerryKwok

I love you from my head to my tomatoes (to my toes)

Part II: TOMATO

Those who grew up in a Western culture

“

Tomato Egg inspired by my Mum, among other things.”

with Katy Thompason

Well, to start, Katy, would you mind introducing yourself?

Katy: Well, hi I’m Katy! I’m a recent graduate from CSM. I live in London, and I’d like to specialise in publication later in my life. I’m also half-British and half-Chinese, but grew up in Thailand.

And what does tomato egg mean to you?

Katy: Tomato egg reminds me of my mum very strongly, as it’s a dish that’s pretty much taught from word of mouth. You don’t find this in, like, a gourmet restaurant or anything. It’s mostly a household dish that my mum would make pretty much all the time when there was nothing else really to make, or if I just requested it or something. It reminds me of my mum because we moved around a lot. So I was born in Beijing, then we moved to Thailand and we lived there for 10 years, and then we moved here to the UK. But the dish has stayed a constant throughout my life. So it kind of signifies home, in a sense. To me, it’s home and my mama. Love my mama.

What was your experience with moving around and having lots of different ‘homes’ as a kid? Because some people who moved around a lot say they don’t necessarily feel ‘home’ anywhere, because there’s been so many of them.

Katy: That’s a totally valid point, because I’ve definitely experienced that. But I don’t really have an identity crisis over it, because I think I’ve just accepted it. And I’m pretty happy with who I am, and what influences I’ve grown up with, and what cultures I’ve immersed myself in. I’m very proud of that as my identity. It’s not really something I toil over.

I do have thoughts where I wish like “oh, I was more like this. I was more like my Chinese side. I was more like my white side.” So there are negatives, especially where there’s a language barrier with my mum’s side of the family. But it’s okay because I think you can experience love without language, and I can still understand that they’re my family, you know?

The other version would be growing up and moving around, and experiencing a lot of social anxiety when it comes to immersing yourself in, or assimilating yourself in a whole new friend group or a whole new culture, like from Thailand to the UK. When I started Year 7… damn, everyone in Year 7 was so mean! The culture was so different, so I didn’t understand how to interact.

So I think that part was quite negative but then it also helped me become more adaptable as a person. And the one thing that I get from moving around a lot is being adaptable and not holding too much, what’s the word… attachment or sentiment to a certain place or person or group of people. Like, I can easily move around a lot in the future. For example, my dream is to go to Japan for a year. Some people might find that hard or it’s not in their cards because they have so much going on here (in London). Whereas I can easily detach myself from that, and just go on and come back.

“There’s a language barrier with my mum’s side of the family. But it’s okay because I think you can experience love without language, and I can still understand that they’re my family, you know?”

Do you see that’s a strength, then? The ability to detach so easily.

Katy: Oh yeah, yeah.

Because I think I would be one of those people that you said-- would find it hard to leave this life behind, because of the people and the life I’ve built here, I knew how long it took me to establish the relationships I have now, I know how much work it would take me again, in the new city.

Katy: Yeah, it’s interesting because it seems like those different outcomes for how people come out at the end of it when they’ve moved around a lot. Because some people are like me, where I’m like, I could just get up and go. And I guess it’s very different for some. So it’s an interesting juxtaposition.

But at the same time, I get what you mean. It’s kind of like, oh, you know you’ve done it a few times before you can do it again in the new city.

Does the idea of moving somewhere new, not hold any kind of sadness for you, especially for the life you have in your last country? Or do you kind of see it as something neutral?

Katy: Yeah, I feel quite neutral about it because I don’t think... I don’t know if this sounds like bad, but I don’t think I’d feel sad about leaving my friends behind because I have trust in those friendships, and I know like me leaving just doesn’t mean, you know, that’s the end of it. And obviously I could always come back, if I’m in a position to do so.

I don’t know if it’s fuelled by pure delusion or ambition or just a want to be somewhere else. But the other issue is I don’t know where I’d want to settle because I have no idea if I want to live in London or if I want to live in America or live in Japan. It’s hard because you’re kind of used to being all over the place so you don’t really know where to call home just yet.eally interesting that way.

Do you see the ability not to settle in any particular place to be something that troubles you? Or are you kind of seen as a freedom thing as well? As if you have the ability to settle that anywhere?

I think there are many factors such as being able to do so and the privilege to do so and the funds to do so- which I currently do not have as a recent graduate who needs a job! So it might be more of a drive, like having the drive to obtain all that in order to move. That’s quite strong. Yeah, I definitely see it as a strength. But I don’t know if it may be something that other people see differently, or if I’m a bit detached or aloof.

“....it was really pivotal watching my mum cook growing up, where I was just being introduced to new food and techniques. And it’s such a labour of love.”

I personally don’t think that matters, because if anyone calls you aloof because of that or something, I see it as more of a projection on their part.

I have been thinking recently, I have been having thoughts in my head where maybe the way I’ve grown up has affected me socially, because I am quite an introvert. I do keep to myself sometimes, and I have a very low social battery. And I think it’s hard for me to maintain a constant communicative relationship, because I’ve had to say goodbye to so many friendships in the past for moving.

I feel like my one regret is probably that I should have reached out more and hung out more with people. But I didn’t think of that during the time because I was just happy with my small group of friends and being in my own space. So that’s definitely a downfall with the whole moving thing. And the pessimistic view of friendships and stuff. Because meeting you guys has been so great. And I’m just like, “damn, I wish I hung out with them sooner.”

How do you look back on your younger self?

Katy: I do look at her and just think “oh girl…” But she was very strong. She kept through it. That’s all that matters. But yeah, the social anxiety. That’ll do it. So I actually did find a lot of comfort through food, I would cook even when I was like 13, because it kind of gave me something to focus on. If things were like… not so good. I had a little ritualistic way to enjoy a small thing.

I would start off by making those stir fry kits that you find in the supermarket. You have the sauce, you have the egg noodles and then the pre-chopped vegetables. I would get that when I was younger, that would be like my first introduction to cooking by myself. I would make that and then I would build up my own recipes and stuff, like making like fried rice and I’d start baking and I think I found a lot of comfort through that. Additionally, it was really pivotal watching my mum cook growing up, where I was just being introduced to new food and techniques. And it’s such a labour of love.

Tender Objects

Do you have a signature dish?

Katy: I really like making katsu curry. That’s such a homely meal.

Do you have any comfort dishes? Like a food or a drink? Like when you’re not feeling good you just make it. And then you’re good again.

Katy: That’s a really good question because I have so many. Hmm comfort dish, like chili oil noodles with peanut sauce. Probably fried egg on top, with a runny yolk. That’s it. That’s my comfort. It’s a dish I can whip up in 10 minutes and it’s delicious. So good! And anyone can do it.

And hmm… comfort drink. I like Yakult.

By

Enjoy

She Should Have Loved You

She Should Have Loved You

Is food a very strong foundation in your family then?

Katy: Yeah, it definitely wasn’t all by myself. There’s this... I think my most treasured item back home is my grandmother’s recipe book that she wrote herself. The funniest thing in the recipe book is seeing the conversions of weight and pounds when they were still in imperial measurements instead of... because now we’re metric. I was like, “God damn, that’s crazy.” It’s such a lovely recipe because she has scrap pieces of, say, like a recipe she found in a newspaper or a different book and

it’s a really lovely recollection of what she liked, and she has a recipe for these things called jammy biscuits and that’s what she would make for my dad when he was growing up, to go to school and eat snacks and I thought that was really sweet because my dad, when he saw that recipe, he was like, “oh yeah, my mum would make this for me and it’s such a lovely memory of my mum”. And I think food has always been a very family and nostalgic, sentimental thing in my family. And it’s interesting as well growing up with British influences and Chinese influences.

“....you learn so much about a person through food. I feel like it’s such a really beautiful way to get to know someone....”

I’m curious, what age did you move to Thailand?

Katy: I was like 2 so I was just a little baby. I don’t remember much about China, which is sad. But I used to watch family videotapes of me in Beijing, and little me on my second birthday, and I’m just like ‘wow that’s crazy’. And I used to speak really good Mandarin. I can still understand some of it now, but I can’t formulate the words and I can’t read Chinese, so that’s another thing about this upbringing that’s kind of hard.

I think I mentioned it earlier, the language barrier, and feeling like if I had that maybe I could connect to my Chinese family more. So maybe later on in life I’d like to learn Mandarin again, plus my mum is always like “Well, I’m happy to teach you!”.

Katy: I have a question!

Do you think food means friendship?

Oh, absolutely!

Katy: There’s so much historical and cultural context to every single dish, and you learn so much about a person through food. I feel like it’s such a really beautiful way to get to know someone or with friends, and just it’s crazy how extensive it is. That’s what I love. That’s like the main thing I love about food: the way it bonds people.

Kiwi to Pom With Tracy Zeng

What does tomato egg means to you?

Could introduceyou yourself ?

Tracy: It’s something that brings back memories of my grandmother and my family, it’s a dish that’s very nostalgic for me.

Tracy: Hey, it’s me, Tracy! I’m originally from Beijing, China. After completing my primary school, I went to an all-girls boarding school in New Zealand and graduated in December 2019. Although I now live in London, Beijing will always be home to me, and I have many fond memories of growing up there.

How has moving between such different places affected your appreciation for your family?

Tracy: It’s made me more appreciative of my family for sure, because I feel like during puberty, you’re not aware of a lot of things, and when you’re away, you get to appreciate them because they’re not there. And you see, “okay, like they are doing so much more than I thought they were”, and you see that side because you’re away from them. For my parents and I, we’re able to appreciate each other a lot more because every time I see them, it’s a countdown. It’s like, “oh, I’m here for a month, or I’m here for two weeks”. So we know

that we have to treasure the time. Well, even though I say that I treasure the time with them, when it gets to like the fourth day, they’ll be like, “Tracy, please, when are you going? When does school start? You need to go,” or telling me off for everything that I do. <laughs> My mum usually, when I get home, she’ll be like, “Tracy, it’s been three hours, and the house is a mess already. Your stuff is everywhere, and I don’t like to see it. I don’t want to see it.” So yeah, it’s reallyyyy nice.<laughs>

It’s clear that your frequent travels back and forth to New Zealand and Beijing have given you a unique perspective on family and home.

How did you make the decision to go to high school in New Zealand, and how was the experience during that time?

Tracy: I didn’t have much of a say in the decision to attend high school in New Zealand, cause I was only 11 years old at the time. <laughs> It was my mum who made the decision for me, as she was concerned about the amount of homework I was doing and the teaching style at my previous school. This is a common experience for many families who move out of China, where the education pressure can be quite intense. My mum was looking for a more balanced education and environment for me, and after an extensive search, she found my school through Google Maps of all things! The school wasn’t chosen for its academic ranking or whatever, but she chose it for its environment and size. There were only 30 students in my year group, and the entire school was a tight-knit community where everyone knew one another. I made some lifelong friendships there, and I still keep in touch with my friend Lucy who actually just visited me this winter, and we even went to Italy together.

Attending an all-girls school was a healthy experience for me. In my previous school, I we didn’t get along very well with the boys in my class, as you do. <laughs> However, in the girl’s school, the atmosphere was much more mature and the people were generous and caring. Despite being slightly younger than most of the other students, I learned a lot from them, and I felt like a younger sister being taken care of. This was especially important to me since I’m an only child. The experience also taught me how to take care of myself better, and I now feel more confident living in London because of the skills I learned in boarding school.

From the way you talk about them, your family holds a special place in your heart.

Tracy: Definitely! But as I grow older, I notice changes in my grandparents especially. So my granddad passed away in 2020, before that, my grandma was very dependent on him. When he was no longer around, she lost her sense of purpose as she no longer had the daily tasks of taking care of him at the rest home they were living in. This sudden change definitely took a toll on her, and I noticed a significant decline in her mental health. Now, she suffers from dementia and struggles to remember even the most basic things, like who I am. While I can accept this situation, I know it’s harder for my mum to come to terms with it. My grandparents have always been old in my memory, but for my mum, it’s a different story. I can’t imagine what it would be like to watch my own parents go through the same thing.

As I get older, I also find myself having more profound conversations with my parents, which helps me appreciate them more. My mum, in particular, has made a lot of deliberate decisions to raise me in a way that she wishes she was raised. She wasn’t raised in an open environment, so she wanted me to have the freedom to pursue my interests. She used to be an engineer for aeroplane engines, but she hated it. She didn’t want me to end up in a job that I didn’t like. Instead, she encouraged me to do what I love, and she never pushed me to have the best grades. She always asked me if I understood the knowledge and gained something from it, rather than focusing on the grades. I’m really grateful for my mum’s attitude towards life, which is strong and inspiring. She’s never been a tiger mum, but she’s always been there to support me in pursuing my dreams. She’s taught me to value knowledge and learning over grades and to do what I love. So I’ll always cherish the time I have with her, and I hope to make her proud by living my life to the fullest.

Do you guys keep in close contact then?

Tracy: I don’t keep in close contact with them, we video call each other like once a month. Sometimes I think they miss me a lot, but when I call them, they seem to be too busy to talk for long. Don’t take me wrong, it’s nice to see them having fun. It’s just when I call, they just seem to be in a hurry to end the conversation and go somewhere. But that’s okay, I understand. <laughs>

Was the reason why you went into design because of your mum?

Like he was interested in it but couldn’t pursue it herself?

Tracy: Sort of, but I’ve always loved to create small illustrations and doodles since childhood. My mother used to keep all my drawings, even the ones I did on the pages of textbooks. Sometimes, she would even frame them. This gave me a lot of confidence and made me realise that I genuinely enjoy drawing.

I feel like your parents sound very different from the majority of Asian parents.

How do you feel like that affected your upbringing?

Tracy: Whenever I think about them, I remember how they used to compliment my personality when I was younger. Despite my not-so-great grades, they would compliment me on my personality, like how talkative I was, especially around elderly people. This made me feel good because it meant I didn’t have to feel pressured to be like someone else..

That sounds like you’re really, really lucky.

Tracy: I feel like it’s definitely not easy to make conscious decisions when you’re raising a child. It’s often easier to repeat whatever you’ve experienced because it’s what you’re familiar with. It’s harder to stop and think, “Okay, these are the things that happened to me, and I didn’t like that. So, I will make changes to avoid repeating the same mistakes.”

Yeah, I feel like it’s essential to be aware of how you’re raising your children and not to repeat the same mistakes your parents made. Sometimes I would compare my mum to other parents I know, I’ve told her how she’s much freer with me, and she’s like, “Yeah, that’s me. I know. I’m just better!’” <laughs> We have a really close relationship for sure.

Fish Without Water

Takeaway Industry Secrets ��

What does tomato egg mean to you, Kerry?

Kerry: I never thought much about it until I reached university, but it turns out that this thing I have every day is a diaspora thing! It’s such a constant part of my life that I don’t even think about it. But when people bring it up in conversation, I suddenly realised that it’s something I consume every single day.

Is it like a very common dish that your family would like to cook?

Kerry: Mmhm! My dad owns a takeaway and he’s always working so it’s always just me, my mum and my sister at home. It’s always good to have vegetables and some sort of protein, and tomato egg is just easy to cook when my mum is home from work.

Since I grew up in a very white town, I had so many weird comments and somewhat uncomfortable experiences when it came to food. I remember my white friends being so confused at why I stir-fry the lettuce but not eating it raw. They would also ask me if I eat takeaway every day. And I’d be quite triggered and say, “No I don’t!” They also made comments like “your parents are not...I don’t know, raising you to be healthy. It felt as if they’re saying “Your meals are so different from ours.” Like you don’t often see fish still on a bone in a Western dish... It just made me feel like I was being rejected a little bit at that age.

It’s quite like an Asian thing.

Kerry: I have so many fond memories of my dad, and he was always full of interesting stories and sayings. One thing he used to tell me was that eating the eyes of a fish would help me see better, and I remember my sister and I would often fight over who got to eat them. Once we got to the middle of the fish’s eyes, there was a pesky bone that we had to spit out.? So I would fight with my sister for the eyes!

Are there any particular memories in the kitchen you would like to share? Or have you learnt any life lessons in the kitchen?

Kerry: I don’t know if it’s deep or any good. It’s actually kind of depressing. Because like my parents are always like all you need to be independent., so I’ve learned to keep my feelings to myself when I’m around them. But it’s not like they’re bad parents or anything. They quietly support me and then feel proud of me when I achieve something. I don’t feel like we’ve had many life lessons. Instead of giving me advice, they often use idioms that I don’t understand. My aunties also do this, and I’m left trying to figure out what they mean. they often use idioms that I don’t understand. My aunties also do this, and I’m left trying to figure out what they mean. <laughs>

Yeah, I feel like Asian parents love differently. Like tough love.

Kerry: For sure!

Do you feel like smells with food connect us to memories in any way?

Kerry: Sometimes I find myself being too negative, and it’s something my parents have always complained about. I guess I just took on that trait.

One fun fact is, that cooking oil has a way of seeping into your clothes and no matter how many times we wash them, the smell just never goes away. So my mum always washes my dad’s clothes separately to avoid that.

When I first came to university and stayed in accommodation, I was constantly worried about my clothes smelling like oil, especially after cooking. It was so annoying! But now, whenever I go home and smell that familiar oil scent, it brings back sweet memories of my dad. I think it’s just the way we were brought up to think about it, and it’s hard to shake off those negative thoughts. But looking back, it’s a nice memory to have. It’s funny how doing this exercise made me realise that. It was a fun thing to do.

Would you say that your work reflects or incorporates elements of culture and/or heritage?

Kerry: I think I am interested in learning about my heritage. When I first started uni, I realised that people are interested in many little things about my culture. For example, when I talk to people about Fung Shui, they are so interested and ask why I don’t include them in my work. I also became interested in house plants during lockdown. While I was looking at these plants, I would start wondering if they fit my Feng Shui. My dad always told me not to have cactus or spiky plants because they have bad energy. There’s a lot about spirituality and just the way of seeing the world.

Recently though, I started to reject that a bit more because I don’t want to just fit into this box of diaspora. But at the same time, my family and uncles have told me that I need to emphasise that I’m a minority for companies to hit their quota of how many minorities they include. It’s depressing because I don’t want my success to be just because of that. But at the same time, you can’t cut that out so it’s like an ongoing struggle.

Is this something you want to explore more? Or potentially block out maybe?

Kerry: Sometimes I’m kind of drawn to negative emotions and how there are things that interest me that connect to me in a latent or background way. In Asian culture, for example, when it comes to viewing food waste, they’ll say ‘Don’t waste that, don’t waste that, don’t waste that’. I leaned into it a lot last year before CCI (Creative Computing Institute), especially about the word diaspora, because I was brought up here. There are so many things that I don’t understand that it brought up so many complicated emotions. Even now,

“Sometimes, I feel like a fake Chinese person or a fake Hong Kong girl.”

I don’t fit in, and I don’t understand the culture properly. But there are things unique to me. I remember the period when I was kinda homeless and moved in with my auntie and uncle who had just immigrated from Hong Kong. They would say things like, ‘Your mom can make egg tarts and things like that’. I feel like my parents want to make sure that we still get to experience Chinese cultural food here, despite not having the ingredients.

IdentiyCrisisBox

Where is home for you? What is your definition of home?

Kerry: Home...It’s not my home now, bur rather my grandma’s home, it feels homely to me because I have many fond memories of it. I used to visit Hong Kong every year or so and my grandma always made it special. She would take me to places like the market, which was very nostalgic and comforting for me. Even though others might see it as a holiday home, it truly feels like home to me because of the cherished memories I have there. My grandma is an amazing woman who always wants to feed me and I always end up gaining weight every time I visit her! <laughs>

“I could tell you a little takeaway industry secret. Well, it’s not really a secret.”

Kerry: Basically all the takeaways that I know in my vicinity, they all close on the same days, like Monday and Tuesday, right? And that’s because we just know everyone.

You just know that everyone is pretty much familiar with everyone else in the UK if you own a Chinese takeaway. They choose those days in particular so that they can meet up and have a chat together. Well, like otherwise it’s just the day to go and pick up ingredients at a store, for the storage of food. And there’s so many things that account to those two days. Like, Monday or Tuesday, those are the quietest days as well, obviously for business because weekends are busy, busy! Then on Mondays people tend to not want to eat takeaway. So we would like to meet

How do you feel about seeing your parents younger than you in these images?

Kerry: I have a sense of nostalgia about it just because they look like they have so much fun back in the day. Right? The quality of the images is so nice, there’s like this blue tint to the film. Everything looks so flashy and cool and cute, and just looks like they have so much fun with such simple materials.

Part two: TOMATO

Bday cake

Blender animation

A whimsical experiment converting the tangible into the digital realm through the use of photogrammetry and 3D modelling. The primary motivation stems from the desire to immortalise a fleeting, cherished moment. By digitising a culturally perishable entity, it delves into the nostalgic yearning for experiences to endure indefinitely contrary to their transience.

Angel Number Generator No.1

Involving P5.js, Raspberry Pi, Lava Lamp, Webcam, Projection (for Encrypted Incantation exhibition, OPENing)

True randomness is a long-debated concept and almost impossible to program using computers. In the lobby of Cloudflare cybersecurity company, lies racks upon racks of lava lamps consistently generating random data for internet encryption. Using this anecdote as a vessel, this work attempts to bring to light the paradoxical process of meaning-making in today’s datadriven society. Responding to the motion of the audience and the lava lamp, numerologically significant sequences are generated in real-time in the context of an abandoned bank.

I wish you triple happiness!! I wish you triple happiness!! I wish you triple happiness!!

It kind of stemmed from my understanding of numbers in my childhood like my dad’s car number plate had 888 in it because its lucky.

I just thought it was funny how number sequences hold so much meaning to us when its often just a coincidence and doesn’t really have much spiritual significance. Its still a cute idea though like:

“I wish you triple happiness!!”

EllenHuynh,Osman

Bari, Tigris

Green onions have layers, Ogres have

layers

Part III: GARNISH

Industry talk with Asian practitioners

Send futureyour self an email!

A conversation with Interdisplinary designer Ellen Huynh about freelancing, navigating adulthood, and choosing to live for your family verses yourself.

Alrighty Ellen, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Ellen: Of course, I’m Ellen, I’m a creative from London who is British born Chinese and Vietnamese. It’s hard to say specifically what I do; I usually say that I’m a designer who designs on a spectrum of many things. One end is designing in tech worldwide, on the other is designing visuals for live performances in music, fashion and culture. That’s basically it <laugh> and then everything else kind of falls in between.

Design in tech?! That’s sick

Ellen: Ellen: Thank you! Yeah, one of my first projects out of uni was designing brand identities for tech in San Francisco, which was a big learning curve and a super fun experience. It was great—intense, obviously, and I was apprehensive at first because I came from a background of designing for experiences and spaces in Uni. Since I was a fresh graduate with no experience in the industry though, I was willing to try something new and later realised that this was something I also enjoyed and it’s something that I’m really proud to have been a part of.

Were there any specific challenges you faced when you first graduated and went into the workplace?

Ellen: When I first came out of Uni I was in the strong mindset that after graduating, I would look into getting a full-time job at an agency as a Junior Graphic Designer. That was what I had been working for this whole time and what seemed like the only pathway because there wasn’t much talk about other pathways that one could take and be ‘stable’ in. My older sister is a Graphic Designer also - she graduated uni and has worked in many great agencies since then and because that was the path she took that was seen as ‘successful’, it seemed like a no-brainer to follow suit. My parents are supportive of my sister and I but understandably they’re still afraid about the stability that comes with the design industry as most Asian parents are <laugh>. For them, they could only measure the levels of success and how successful one could be in the design industry through my sister. She is lucky to have worked with big names that they can recognise and so it seemed that in order for me to be ‘successful’, I would need to do the same. My first and biggest challenge was learning that I didn’t want the life my sister had. During lockdown, I got to see a big part of what my sister did and I couldn’t see myself doing the work she was doing. So when I got out of uni and the reality of things hit me, I felt lost; on one hand I wanted to expand on what I was creating in uni and find something along those lines, but on the other was the pressure of the job market and the subconscious pressure of what my parents, and internally at the time one I adopted myself, saw as ‘successful’.

I was lucky that during my degree show, I was scouted and was offered a few jobs - one in particular piqued my interests and aligned with how I saw my practice develop outside of uni but was on a contract basis. Funnily enough, I was the one who was most apprehensive. It never crossed my mind to do freelancing/ be self-employed but it was my mum who pushed me to take the leap, so I did. The contract was three months so the plan was to work those three months and use that time to look for full time work I was more aligned with.

After that contract had ended, I realised I loved freelancing and what it offered me too much to turn my back on it. At the same time however,

18 to Vietnam - I spent three weeks there and I can confidently say I don’t have any urgency of going back anytime soon. The country is beautiful but it was the biggest culture shock I had experienced that threw me in a loop of who I actually was and where I belonged. My childhood was filled with forces reminding me I was ‘different’ and not ‘fully British’ but that trip was a big realisation that I am more British than I am Asian. Having been a few years since that trip, I’ve come to terms with it better - I’m more than content with the feeling that I am both and equally none.

“I was offered a role in a full time job with great benefits and the opportunity to travel the world which led to my second conflict - the acceptance that the life I had been working for all those years and that mindset towards what was conventionally seen as ‘successful’ to my family and myself wasn’t one I could live.”

I want to go back a little bit, if you don’t mind, when you talk about realising the life you planned for yourself isn’t going to be the life you’re going to live. Were there any special internal conflicts you kind of faced with yourself? For example, when you were freelancing, did you feel any sort of guilt or anything? Or when you were on the other side, like when you were doing actual design jobs, did you feel any grief for yourself?

Ellen: It’s hard to say because it’s only been a year and a half but also because I’m still going through these internal conflicts and will still probably be going through it for as long as my career; I don’t think they go away for anyone.

Are you tempted to go back home and see what it’s like?

Ellen: It’s interesting to phrase it as going ‘back home’ when the only home I know is here in London for me <laugh>. I did think a lot about going to see where my family are from when I was a kid growing up. I never went back like most of my friends did - a lot of my summers were spent in Europe with family instead and there wasn’t any urgency to ‘go back’ for family as most of us were in London. So the first time I went ‘back home’ was when I was

In a sense, I think there will always be guilt and grief because it transcends beyond being a freelancer. For me, it’s from the root of choosing a life in my passion as a creative over a life more aligned with what my parents saw my potential in. It’s hard not to feel selfish about the whole ordeal - My parents sacrificed so much to come here and that sacrifice is priceless. No matter what I do for them would never be able to pay back for what they have done for my sister and I. It’s why every choice made, like being a designer and then going freelance, that doesn’t align with them feels like total disregard for what they gave up for us and ultimately, immense guilt. I try to come to peace with it as much as I can through the understanding that the grass will always be greener on the other side. There would have been a sacrifice no matter what path I would have chosen and I know that if I followed the latter, I’d be grieving over the fact I wasn’t living life for myself and my passion. It’s motivated me so much to work even harder to create a new level of success my parents and I never knew before.

I feel I hear a lot of the same issues from people, like struggling to find the balance between living for yourself versus living for your family. I wonder if you have any advice for people that are going through something similar, the kind of struggle to choose one or the other, or feeling the shame?

Ellen: When decisions need to be made, the Ellen: When decisions need to be made, the first thing to understand is that there is no right decision but there is YOUR decision and you have full autonomy to make that. I find it’s easy to come to one by imagining yourself stepping back and seeing the whole situation from all perspectives. When viewing from afar, evaluate the choices you have and weigh them up against each other; if there’s a strong feeling that’s pulling you to a specific choice - keep hold of that and give weight to that choice. In most cases, what’s calling to our soul may not be the most rational decision but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ignore what you felt. I think that’s where the balance of both comes in - you have to weigh up the values of each choice. An opportunity offers more than just financial benefits, we need to price these at other currencies; by fulfilment, by prospects, by network, etc. Again, there is no right decision; there will always be some factor of guilt or grief but if it’s good for your soul and valuable to you and your path, consider making that choice.

With your experience being in the creative industry, were there any specific challenges or things that you picked up that you realised was because of your identity as someone that’s Asian?

Ellen: I’ve been very lucky to have had opportunities thus far where people see past my identity as a person of colour who is also a woman and are more interested in my capabilities as a designer. That’s not to say all these places are inclusive yet; it just isn’t initially evident because it’s not pointed out or is normalised which it shouldn’t be. Internally, sometimes the realisation that you are the only woman or only person of colour does hit you though during or after projects. I’ve had these moments during meetings in boardrooms before - it’s easy to feel like you don’t belong but I’m always reminded by a tweet by Kazeem Kuteyi (who runs an incredible magazine called New Currency, check it out!) where he states: ‘No more saying “I’m not supposed to be in this space”...I’m actually

meant to be here’. It is a reminder that there;s a purpose to be there, I have to be here because my presence in these spaces is a contribution to a collective for future change and a new normal. Future generations of creatives shouldn’t be in spaces feeling uncomfortable because they realise they’re the only person of colour or woman present.

Accepting this was the first of many challenges <laugh>, it was like unlearning everything that I had learnt this whole time. Having not prepared for a self-employed life, learning how to be a freelancer and how to preserve that enjoyment in it meant many challenges to follow to this day, all being great lessons.

Have you found yourself avoiding making projects about your identity? If so, have there been any factors around why you have?

Ellen: Yes, 100% during my studies. Identity is a life lesson which goes deeper than a uni project you only have a month to do. I think this is why some Asian creatives avoid doing work on their identity until they’re much older, have plenty of time to delve into it and/or have come to terms with where they stand with it better, which comes with time and experience… or at all! When making projects about identity in uni, I always felt there was pressure that pushed me into making it about the Asian diaspora experience which was repetitive and restricting. Looking back, I think I was frustrated because any project about identity I proposed always got swayed to highlight my Asian heritage and a focus to connect with it when in reality I don’t have much to connect to because I was born and grew up here! <laugh> Now out of those pressures, I’d love to explore it through the lens of celebrating both over a couple of years, communicating the amalgamation of influences and how they’ve made me the person I am today with equal importance.

Peggy Gou, Angelo

Studio Flint, Moam

Desi gn wotkf

Drinks study

You have such a cool range of projects, do you have any favourites?

Ellen: Thank you, I appreciate that a lot! I would say my favourite projects are always the ones I got to work with like-minded creatives on or ones that get to be enjoyed by many. Working with other creatives with the same energy as you is so valuable towards creative growth and development. In uni, we would always come together on projects and talk about them; you’d have crits, interims, and receive feedback to progress further with a more developed lens. After uni, you don’t get that as much which is why it’s so valuable when you can come together and bounce ideas off each other - it’s where the best ideas grow from.

The projects that get to be enjoyed by many usually are the ones that make me cry happily the most <laugh>. From seeing people enjoy the visuals at a Peggy Gou set to customers buying my design on an Acqua di Parma perfume bottle is like a huge wake-up call that the hard work is paying off and that I can make a career out of doing what I love.

What would you say to yourself 10 years from now? Or perhaps even yourself from 10 years ago?

Ellen: Funny you ask this because I feel like I already do this and quite often! <laugh> When I began freelancing, I began also making voice notes for my future self as a way to document the journey for myself and to share with future creatives who may go through the same experiences I’m going through now. In every one of them, I always end these voice notes with ‘I hope you’re listening to this…’. You’d think they’d be a focus on the projects that I talk about in the voice notes but are actually always related to my health and wellbeing;

“I hope you’re doing okay,” “I hope you’re happy with what you do,” “I hope you are well you’re rested,”

“you’ve been able to learn a lot, and push yourself, to be able to, you know, do fun things.”.

It’s the one thing you can easily forget when working all the time!

Have you ever read something from your past self, as present you?

Ellen: Of course! I love documenting life and have done so since I was a kid - me and my sister would always write future letters to ourselves and put them in bottles to smash when they were ready to open. I did these for my 16th birthday, my 18th birthday, and my 21st. Because at the time when you’re 11, the only things you think about are these big milestones that people talk about, you don’t necessarily think about your creative milestones.

These days, I write an email to myself at the end of every year (to read at the end of the upcoming year) which recaps the year in its entirety and the goals I have for the next year to come. Reading back on those entries every year gives me hope; it reminds me to have gratitude, to have fun and to be excited for what’s to come!

A StraightHAVE THE AUDACITY YOU

White MaleAUDACITY OF SHOULD

PUBLISHING, FUNDING, CHUTNEY!

With Osman Bari: founder/designer/ editor of Chutney Magazine, on an in-depth advice session to starting your own publishing journey.

Just to start off, could you share the story behind the story of Chutney? What inspired you to start this magazine, and how did you take it from an idea to reality?

Osman: Yeah! I was studying architecture at the time and I realised I wasn’t really into architecture and was far more interested in publications and graphic design. On the other hand, I was just sort of disillusioned by the Eurocentric nature of the media that surrounds us, and how certain communities are portrayed in certain lights- they can’t tell stories on their terms, so that was a motivation as well. I don’t know if you remember, but there were two terrorist attacks on mosques in Christchurch New Zealand in 2019. And I think after that happened and just seeing the response in the media towards it, I think that was the turning point for me and that’s what kind of helped me go from an idea to starting the magazine.

What were some of the biggest challenges you faced in the early stages of Chutney, and how did you overcome them?

Osman: I think the whole thing really, because I mean I didn’t come from a graphic design background so in terms of design, I kind of had to teach myself everything. I guess the most difficult thing is where to start, but for me, because I was still in uni at the time, I had applied to this startup program to pitch the magazine for some funding. And as part of that program, they made you think about what the product was going to be, what the magazine was about, and it forced me to come to terms with what I wanted it to be. To get the funding, you had to outline your business plan, who are the stakeholders, how are you going to distribute the magazine, and what it entails. I think for me just breaking that down into these bite-sized pieces was helpful. I feel like at a certain point you just have to start, you have to send that first email to sourcing a printer, or to the first contributor. I think once you do that, then you gain momentum and you can get more into it.

When it comes to funding, do you have any tips for those starting out? Or any advice on how to save money for printing?

Osman: I think printing methods influence it. I was lucky in that I got the funding from the pitch competition so I was like ‘Alright I’m just gonna riso print the magazine in full colour. Which, I mean, probably not advisable just because riso is super expensive, and also limiting in terms of colours. But I think Chutney is quite small, so that helps because it’s more pages on one sheet, so you can print fewer sheets. I think page count, and not going too crazy in the first issue, maybe finding that sweet spot with something that’s fairly affordable to make, but also the design makes up for anything that’s lacking in the finishing. I’m on my third issue now, I’ve worked my way up to afford the colours. But I definitely wouldn’t do that for the first issue because foiling, for example, is super expensive. But I think while you’re still students if you’re sourcing paper, I know G.F. Smith they do student rates and stuff, so you can just find them, or maybe source the paper yourself and take those to the printer, they’ll save you on paper costs and they just do the printing.

Could you walk us through your process for content creation and curation? How do you decide what stories or themes to explore in each issue?

Osman: I let them tell whatever story they want to tell, and when I come in as an editor, my role is just to make sure the story flows and works alongside others in the issue and works alongside others in the issue. Thematically I don’t tinker with it too much. After all, I think in certain cases it’s not my place because I don’t have that lived experience around that culture. But I think you should be fine. There’s no reason why you can’t bring people from other cultures into it. I think it’s just about trusting each other and creating space for each other. You’re not trying to manipulate their stories into how you see them. I think people appreciate that, and they’re quite open to it. I can just imagine if you put out a call for submissions and it’s calling all Asian creatives, you’ll just receive so many more submissions. Because more people will see themselves under that kind of identity marker, but I think that’s kind of up to them to see it, because you won’t be prescribing what an Asian person or creative looks like right?

So yeah, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, because you’re not changing their stories. You might have to tweak it a little, but as long as you let people express themselves authentically, I think it’s all okay.

Issues 1, 2, and 3 of Chutney

As you mentioned earlier, we’re also trying to ask more unscripted questions to dig into the deeper topics. Would you have any suggestions on how to make a good interview?

Osman: If you can have an initial conversation introducing yourself so that the interview is not the first time you’re meeting them, they’d appreciate that. With Chutney, I’d have already established a bit of a relationship with the person beforehand. For example, in the latest issue, I interviewed a photographer from South London. I’d come across his work and he had made this film, so I watched the film and I looked into his work. I initially just sent an email being like ‘I love your work’ and I explained why I liked it, and just genuinely why it resonated with me and why I’d love for him to be in the magazine. And then

“if you do a bit of background research on the other person, they appreciate it because they feel like they don’t have to start from scratch with you.”

How did you consider how to expand Chutney from the first issue? Did you establish that from the very beginning, or did it come to you along the way?

Osman: Initially I just wanted to try doing a magazine’. It was a really small run, and it was just like 64 pages and nine stories or whatever. It wasn’t until covid that I was like ‘Oh well I’ve got time on my hands now, let’s do the next issue’. I mean that kind of goes against what a magazine is, but I didn’t start it to make it a large thing, I just started it because I wanted to try it. But I think after issue two, it was really after moving to London when issue two had been out, that I realised there is such a big publishing scene here, and I wanted to take it to the next level. That’s why, for example, I switched away from riso to litho printing, just because it’s cheaper for larger print runs. I think for me it happened organically, but I think it’s good if you’re being ambitious and thinking about where you want to be because it’s something to work towards.

So the first issue was done in Canada?

Osman: Yeah so the first one was in Toronto, Canada. It was riso printed, and as I said 75 copies, just a really small print run. Then issue two was also in Canada, but that was 250 copies which was still riso, so it was pretty expensive. And then moving here, I had started

working at magCulture, which influenced how I viewed magazines.

Would you say you have any kind of principle or keywords throughout different issues as well?

Osman: The sections stay consistent. And within the sections, I’ve defined them. The definitions change a little with each issue, but ‘Chop’ is the first section, and it’s bitesized stories that subvert expectations. ‘Mix’ is always cross-cultural influences and intersectionality. And ‘Preserve’ is lesserknown histories or legacies. So I think within the definitions of each of the sections, there are keywords that help curate the stories a bit more. I have been thinking about the next issue, which I have yet to start, that maybe it would be helpful to have a few ideas but not necessarily a theme, that I’d want to work with. So I’m interested in ideas of land and relationship to land, also crafts, solidarity, and politics, that kind of thing.

How do you usually find the people you feature in Chutney? Do you have any tips for fostering meaningful partnerships?

Osman: For the first issue, I wrote half of the

stories myself, just because there was no one else. But eventually, issue two included mutual friends or other people I’d seen. Then issue three was purely curated, so I just reached out to people whose work I follow primarily on Instagram. I just enjoy their practices or if I’ve come across their stuff online. But again, you can also start issue one like that as well. I think for me, I just didn’t know where to start. But I feel like being at CSM (Central Saint Martins) and being in London, you’ve already got quite a big network that you can tap into. So it doesn’t just have to be you and your friends, you can bring in new people too.

I feel like saying yes to us definitely helps us to reach out to people as well!

Osman: No for sure! I think that’s so nice of you too. I’m happy to help because when I just started, I was afraid to reach out. But I think what I’ve learned is: that you just have to ask. And more often than not, people are willing to help and be a part of it. And if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. What’s the worst that can happen? The worst is just getting a no, right? But then you just move on to someone else.

Chutney issue 3, front and back cover

Part three: GARNISH

Not really related to our magazine, but I was kind of curious if there were any aspects of your architecture background that became helpful in creating Chutney?

Osman: That’s a good question, I don’t know actually. Someone looked at the magazine once and said ‘It looks like an architect designed this’. I don’t know what they mean by that, but maybe because it was structured? I don’t know either, but I think in terms of that background, I’m sure it has helped me on a subconscious level, just like the way you design spaces and like design in general, I guess the spatial aspect of, you know how to treat spreads as like spaces. I think my brain kind of works in that way because it is all about sort of composition and stuff. But other than that, probably just the work ethic. Because architecture school was brutal, I’m a workaholic now, unfortunately. I think after that, just working on a magazine seemed way more enjoyable, so I didn’t mind doing the work.

Also, I’m curious if there have been any changes in your creative practice since moving to London or after your MA course?

Osman: I’ve learned more and become slightly more experimental in my practice. I am more open to trying new things, I think GCD (Graphics Communication Design) did enable that, because with Chutney on the side, on the course I didn’t want to do publications. For example, my degree project was a film. I was interested in doing other things that were related to my cultural identity, but not necessarily through publications. So it’s opened me up to other mediums and other ways of working. It’s inspiring to be in London, seeing things or going to events, exhibitions, that kind of thing. Then you go back to your practice to be like ‘Oh well I want to do this and that’. I haven’t done a lot since graduation, just because the nature of professional work is a lot of quick production for clients. But I feel like there is this energy of wanting to do cool things in London, for sure.

With the power of hindsight, were there any problems that threw you off when you’ve just started?/ With the benefit of hindsight, what advice would you give to someone just starting their journey in magazine publishing?

Osman: I think things take twice as long as you plan for. If you’ve set a timeline, I just double it immediately, and that’s really how long it’s gonna take. The last issue of Chutney took me a year to put together, and at least 80% of that was getting the content. The design took like 20% of the time and I finished the design in around three weeks probably. I just had to set myself a deadline with the printers, but getting the content part was the challenge. But really,

Just send that first email and get the ball rolling.

TANGIBLE

with Tigris Li: artist/ creative technologist, In a deep chat about unleashing love and emotion into creative experiences ...

LOVE!

Hello Tigris! Do you have any experience with tomato eggs at all?

Yeah! My grandmother used to make it all the time, but when I was younger I hated tomatoes and disliked how sweet they were in the dish. So my grandma would make tomato eggs without the tomato for me, like silky fried eggs. I remember I used to tell her, “Oh, I’m allergic to tomatoes.” but I’m really not allergic to tomatoes at all. Surprisingly, I do actually like the taste of tomato egg now!

Have you had any challenges in blending technology and emotions in your work? Because on the surface they seem like two distinctly opposite subjects.

I feel like there are different parts to that answer. When I was at a young age, I was really into robotics. My parents had this little bed and breakfast place, and I would go into all the rooms and steal the remotes and open them! I would dismantle them and snip the parts. I also like to watch YouTube videos about them. I just loved making little moving things, because I just thought it was so fascinating.

When I was in college I studied business and commerce with a minor in sociology- it was quite different! I was doing graphic design and 3D stuff for fun when I was in my teen years but I didn’t consider that to be a career because I wasn’t really exposed to it. We had those college fairs where all the universities come in and set up booths in the gym, and I saw the UAL booth. I saw “arts”, and went straight to that stand- I was really curious!

My first project at CSM, “Increments of Emotion” invited people to map out a past or present relationship, whether it’s romantic or platonic, through a timeline of emotions felt throughout that relationship. When you first meet someone you fall in love with there are a lot of positive emotions but as it progresses you learn more about the person and the relationship. It’s normal to have a few fights and feel sadness or anger, but love is still present. I was interested in that because coming from a Chinese family, my dad and I have never said “I love you” to each other. It’s not that we aren’t loving, but love is not quite as verbal in our culture. Looking back on it now, I see that love was presented in a more action-based way and that love was still very present.

My relationship with my mom is quite different, she’s my best friend and we’re a lot more expressive towards each other. But it’s weird growing up in a Western country and seeing all these families, especially in tv shows and movies, being so expressive with their love towards one another. I was really curious about how our emotions are represented as at the time, I just couldn’t grasp it. That curiosity has always led me forward.

At CSM, they introduced me to Arduino. I remember being too scared to try it when I was younger, but it has really clicked with me ever since. I would have all these conceptual ideas that I wanted to experiment with, but I didn’t know how to translate them into interactive experiences; that takes a human input and connection and translates it into a tangible output.

To me physical computing and creative computing are the ideal mediums to explore these ideas- they’re magical!

Anything you imagine can be created, assembled and coded to produce a specific outcome. For me and my practice, technology is more of a driving medium; as a bridge to facilitate introspective and emotional observations. I hope to use technology as a catalyst that aligns with our human intrinsic needs rather than being this hard, cold, dystopian object.

When you think back to when phones were created it was amazing because they allowed people to stay connected with one another. Nowadays, new technology and objects are created as a result of technology advancing so quickly rather than for people. We, as humans, have not been able to take the time to contextualize these objects into our day-to-day lives or understand and question, ‘Oh, where does this fit into my life?’ There’s no time because we’re constantly being presented with new things for the sake of it being “new”.

You can’t process and digest it and come to understand it a bit more.

Technologyismoreof afacilitator,morethan anything else

As you mentioned, I thought it was a very cool thing that could connect people or something that could elevate a lot of creations. I think with recent developments, such as Sora?

I think it’s becoming a little bit scary for me. And I’m wondering, as someone who works with technology, what are your thoughts about AI?

I think it depends on how you engage with AI. I recently did an installation with Converse that used AI. That was my first time integrating it into my practice, and it was used as an introspective, conversational tool that would evoke a more emotional response* (no data was kept from any of the participants). As you engaged with the AI and installation, it detected the emotions and themes in the conversation, and the AI extracts specific scents related to those emotions and themes to create a unique fragrance. Through connecting AI, electronic hardware and human emotion the installation was able to create a bespoke perfume for people to take home and encapsulate an introspective moment or story they shared.

When it comes to AI, I often think about how we can redefine AI to be more tangible or produce tangible outputs. I feel like it all just comes down to intent and purpose. People are often so caught up with… ‘The “new and shiny,” I want to hold it, I want to touch it, I want to have it.’ But we also need to take the time to understand its purpose or why it exists. Why and what is it used for? How does it fit in our world? With Sora specifically I think it’s exciting as a way to potentially be used as a way to capture memories, or revive moments in time.

With new technology, I think it’s easy to be clouded by the desire of, “I want to be the first one to do something crazy, so it goes viral.” It’s easy to be caught up in the indulgence of it.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to the intention and redefinition, “how does it fit within our lives?”.

Part three: GARNISH

Do you think this way of thinking came from your upbringing?

I don’t know if it came from my upbringing. But I do think it was related to my uni tutor, Sakis Kyratzis’s practice, where during a lecture he spoke about the philosophy of phenomenology and redefining purpose. It’s now closely aligned to my own design practice and my values as an artist.

I always think about the iPhone because it’s interesting to me that most technology now is black and rectangular. I mean they’re essentially a black mirror. But I just wonder, why is everything rectangular and black?

It makes me think about how we as society are typically grouped into categories like Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, etc. I don’t think there’s anything bad about that but I think it’s important that not only do we have this bird’s eye view of who we are, but to look into the microscope and recognize that we are all nuanced individuals who are unique and different to one another.

I think that’s important to highlight and my hopes are to transcend technology as a bridge that enables us to create these new forms of self-expression. And within all of this, my practice is really grounded in the concept of love.

I read a book of essays called, ‘What’s Love Got to Do with’ by Sternberg Press, and they talk about the concept of love and how it should be seen as beyond a romantic phenomenon and

that it assumes a social function. When you think about it, love is the ultimate universal emotion. It flourishes when you’re with people and when you’re building connections with people. It’s also a tool that allows us to build empathy with one another and that’s what we need in a digitised world.

“ I want other people to feel like they can relate to my work and put their own experience and individual history into it.”

You mentioned your interest in things like love as not just romantically, but as something that functions as a society. I’m wondering where that interest in love and human relationships came from, do think it has anything to do with the Asian family dynamic? Like you mentioned about your dad, and how Asian families in general rarely say ‘I love you’ to each other.

Do you think this had anything to do with your initial interest in love at all?

Yeah, of course. I was desperately trying to understand what love meant. Seeing it on TV, and in a Western society, that’s one thing. And I would think, ‘Oh, but I don’t have that mirrored reflection’. My mom and I, we do say and express our love to each other a lot. With my dad, it’s a whole different story. Growing up without the experience, knowledge and understanding of certain situations, it would make me question “why am I not feeling loved? What is love and what does it mean? This questioning and curiosity about love is deeply rooted in my practice. It’s in the foundation of my work because every single piece, every artwork that I’ve done is incredibly personal to my own experiences.

Through my work I have always really wanted to express how we all experience the duality of being nuanced individuals within a larger community, and how it is possible to find commonality through something that at the same time feels very personal.

Now as an adult, I trace so much back to my parents when I was much younger, and where they maybe expressed their love in a different way. My mom would do anything for me. Anything I am interested in, she would find a way to allow me to explore and try- that’s a form of love. And even with my dad, we would do so much together. So that was a different kind of love: love through action.

I’m still learning so much about my mom. I feel like immigrant parents just want you to have a

childhood where you can grow and learn. They don’t want to potentially insert themselves and their history into you. Growing up in Canada for instance, they didn’t want to interject or interfere, but now that I am older, I ask my mom about stories from when she was younger and in another country. It’s just funny how they never really talked about it.

Now as an adult, I trace back to my parents when I was much younger, and where they were maybe much less expressive. My mom would do anything for me. Anything I am interested in, she would find a way to allow me to explore and try. That’s a form of love. And even with my dad, even though we’ve never said it, I remember following him around, helping him with tasks. So that was a different kind of love: love through action.

I’m still learning so much about my mom. I feel like immigrant parents, they just want you to have a childhood where you can grow and learn. They don’t want to potentially insert themselves and their history into you. Growing up in Canada for instance, they didn’t want to interject or interfere. Now I am older, I would ask my mom about stories from when she was younger and in another country. It’s just funny how they never really talked about it when I was younger.

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We’ve also had this conversation with our parents. I think once we’ve reached a certain age, your parents would open up to you more. It’s probably because of the distance as well. When we’re not with our parents all the time, we appreciate each other’s presence more.

I think that’s definitely true, even though my mom and I facetime literally everyday, whenever we get to see each other - it’s filled with so much love and joy!

We were reading your past interviews and everything, and a lot of them have the sentences “former national figure skater to Minecraft YouTuber to Creative technologist’. What inspires you to want to put yourself out there from an early age?

Would you also have any advice? Because I feel I deal with a lot of imposter syndrome, and the idea of other people perceiving me or liking my work in a way that is not intended, that kind of scares me.

It’s a very difficult thing. I also have imposter syndrome because everyone thinks I’m great at coding but really, I’m not. Or at least I don’t feel like I am.

Maybe I’ll start with the whole figure skating bit. In Canada when you’re a kid, everyone goes ice skating and skiing. My mom wanted me to explore a variety of things and skating was one of them. The defining point was when I came in second place in a little competition back in Saint-Eustache, Québec. My mom was just like, “Oh, maybe, you know, she could become a professional ice skater.” I then changed to follow a more well-known coach, and I was training pretty much every day. I remember my coach being like, “What’s your favourite number?” I replied, “I like 8 because it means money.” Then they’d be like “No! It’s 1 because you’re number one!” I was just like, “Okay… but I guess I do like the number 1 and 11 because of how it looks?” I still don’t know if I’m brainwashed or not. My whole life was planned because they wanted me to participate in the 2018 Olympics in Seoul. But before that, I got badly injured when I tore ligaments and tendons in my hip.

When I got injured, it was kind of this weird realisation that was just like, wow, like there’s more to life than skating. With Minecraft, I was introduced to it by another skater and I loved playing it as a kid because you could build anything you wanted - it was your own world. Playing Minecraft also got me into design and 3D. When I first searched for videos on how to crack Minecraft, videos about Cinema 4D and Minecraft animations appeared which caught my eye so I watched them and started to learn. I would storyboard and make all kinds of 3D Minecraft animations, and then post them on YouTube.

“ It’s all a part of my history, you know? If it weren’t for the fact I skated, I wouldn’t have discovered Minecraft, and if it weren’t for Minecraft, I wouldn’t have gone into art and design.”

Epilogue:

Finish your food, Clean your table, Wash your plates, Feeling satiated.

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THE TOMATO EGG TEAM:

Agassiz Chan is an autoethnographic storyteller specialising in illustration, object making, and art direction. Shifting from cultivating empathy for their own emotions to building understanding for communities, they often manipulate familiar visuals to challenge our worldly perceptions with diverse perspectives. Agassiz is inspired to connect with the audience by unleashing emotions through creative experiences.

Katy Thompson is a London based multimedia designer with a specialisation in print production, editorial book design and creative direction. She works closely with ephemera and food based research, and ties in personal, historical contexts that inform her practice.

Yoyo Wang is a interdisplinary designer specialising in printed matters, illustration, and conceptual research. As a designer, Yoyo is interested in design as a haven for storytelling, and works closely with nostalgia-related concepts such as old-internet aesthetics and universal memories. Through her practice, she is keen on showcasing unique perspectives and aesthetic approaches to conventional publishing.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:

Special thanks to the lovely staff members at the Central Saint Martins Publications workshop: Isabel Albiol Estrada, Yi Dai, and Cara Lloyd, for helping us realise our very first magazine baby <3

Also a very special thank you to: Ellen Huyhn, Osman Bari and Tigris Li- our featured artists in our debut issue, for finding time in their busy schedules to chat with us and be a part of TOMATO EGG.

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TYPEFACES USED: Avara Basteleur Champignon Monarcha PP Editorial New P22 Stickley Pro Junegull

PAPER & SUSTAINABILITY: Made from 100% recycled paper.

Eat well and See you soon!!

Love

TOMATO EGG Team