TNT Magazine / Issue 1469

October 24-29 2011 Issue 1469 tntmagazine.com

REVVING UP FOR AN ADVENTURE Journey across Bolivia’s salt f lats on two wheels

THE QUEENS OF COSPLAY Fancy dress craze is sweeping London

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T U O L L I CH

mithereens s o t s s e r t s r smash you o t w o h t u o ragey? Find Feeling a bit

ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

www.anglopacific.co.uk SO BEFORE YOU CHECK OUT OF EUROPE CHECK OUT ANGLO PACIFIC

FREEPHONE 0800 085 0355 Anglo Pacific International Plc, 5/9 Willen Field Road, Park Royal, London, NW10 7BQ Email: baggage@anglopacific.co.uk Hours: Mon-Fri 8.30am - 6.00pm Sat 9am-1pm

CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER We all feel a little bit ragey every now and then – it’s only natural. But it’s when the smallest thing tips you over the edge that you need help. Before you get to that stage, check out P8 for our advice on how to destress in the city.

If you’ve not yet got plans for Halloween and like fancy dress, flick to our feature on cosplay (P22) which takes it to another level. Been to Bolivia? Seen the salt flats? Not like our writer did – see P72 for his adventure. Enjoy!

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

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LONDONNEWS

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MY LONDON

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DRINK & EATS

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@TNT

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SPOTTED

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LONDON SOUND

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LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

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LONDON FOCUS

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COMPETITION

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CHATROOM WRETCH 32

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LONDON SCENE

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SPARE TIME

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LIFESTYLE

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SHOPPING

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HEALTH & BEAUTY

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CAREERS

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MONEY

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LIVING

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NEWS & SPORT

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TRAVEL

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FEATURES ANGRY LONDON

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How to become and remain calm in this often frenetic city

COSTUME DRAMA Fancy dress reaches a new level at Comic Con in London this weekend

STAY OCCUPIED

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NEWS

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LATE DEALS

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PAYBACK TIME

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Cameron Smith is hell-bent on revenge in this year’s Four Nations tournament

TOP FIVE

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TIPS & STUFF

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SHORTBREAK

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48 HOURS IN... DUSSELDORF

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CLASSIFIEDS

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DESPERATELY SEEKING

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DIARY

HOTSHOTS

Cover: Thinkstock. Photos: Getty

72

We examine the people and motivations behind the Occupy protest movement

GOTH WHAT IT TAKES?

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58

Take a trip to the Whitby Goth Festival.

It’s far more fun than it sounds

EASY RIDER

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Motorbike across Bolivia’s famous salt deserts in Salar de Uyuni

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Staff writer Clare Vooght Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

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DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Justine Mackay Picture researcher Laila Pacheco DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad Social Media Coordinator Dan Thorne IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 10 Greycoat Place, London, SW1P 1SB tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7960 6008 Fax 020 7960 6977 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

Embrace the old-world glamour

Shhh... SECRET LONDON BELLE EPOQUE HALLOWEEN THE GRAND HALL

Belle Epoque parties are uniquely designed to fire the imagination, channelling the old-world glamour of Paris’s Montmartre halls, luring revellers into a realm of giddying debauchery and excess. And, given it’s Halloween, the outfits should be even more eye-popping than usual. The decoration and design are bound to be incredible, but it is the attention to detail in the various costumes that is truly impressive. £20

October 29 The Grand Hall, Euston Rd, WC1H 9JE

belleepoqueparty.com

Euston

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FREEZE FESTIVAL

PUMPKIN CARVING COMPETITION

JASON BYRNE: CIRQUE DU BYRNE

SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004

The UK’s biggest winter sport and music festival returns to the Battersea Power Station.

Groove Armada are the headline act but most of the festival-goers will be hanging out for the thrills and spills – some of the world’s best skiiers and snowboards will be competing on a 100m-long ramp. Why wait for winter?

If you think you can carve the meanest pumpkin in town, here’s your chance to put your skills to the test. The openage competition starts at 6pm in the ground-floor restaurant of this Piccadilly fixture. There’s a £1000 hamper up for grabs so this threatens to be a pretty serious business. Make sure you sign up in advance.

Byrne has been rattling around for more than 10 years now, having carved out a loyal following on the back of regular appearances at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, where his brand of surreal, observational stand-up has made him a favourite. The laughs come thick and fast – it’s chaotic, rapid-fire stand-up at its very best.

October 28-29 188 Kirtling St, SW8 5BP thefreezefestival.com Vauxhall

October 28 Fortnum & Mason, W1J 9LE fortnumandmason.com Piccadilly Circus

October 28 Hammersmith Apollo, 45 Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH hmvtickets. com Battersea Park

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Exquisite skill and craftmanship

SUSPENSE PUPPETRY FESTIVAL Based at The Little Angel Theatre

The Suspense Festival incorporates several venues around London but will be hosted mainly at the Little Angel, which is the beating heart of British puppetry. Maybe you think puppetry is just for kids, but if you attend with an open mind, you’ll be persuaded otherwise. There’s real variety in the stories, all told with exquisite skill and craftmanship. £8

October 28-November 6 Based at The Little Angel Theatre, 14 Dagmar Passage, N1 2DN suspensefestival.com Angel

LOWER MARSH MARKET

LUCHA LIBRE SPECIAL

Like nearly all of London’s markets, this one, which is open Wednesday to Friday and sometimes on Saturdays, is a mish-mash of food, furniture and clothing.

There’s a fantastic range of vintage gear for sale but the street food is a cut above, with Chula Fused the stand-out. Where else can you buy an Indian burrito?

This may be the only event in London combining cabaret, comedy, life drawing and Mexican wrestling. That’s right – the Luchadores will be squeezing into spandex, donning masks and stepping into the square circle.

Apparently, it’s all part of some kind of subversive performance art. But with Mexican wrestlers.

Until December 23 Westminster Bridge Rd to Baylis Rd, SE1 7AB lowermarshmarket. co.uk Waterloo

October 24 Resistance Gallery, 265 Poyser St, E2 9RF deathdrawing. wordpress.com Bethnal Green

FREE

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RENT RATES HIT RECORD HIGH The price of renting in London is higher than the average take-home pay, figures reveal. It comes as a study shows tenants in the capital have faced the sharpest rise in costs in the country.

Average rent in London is £2075pcm, compared with typical net pay of £1924.

LSL Property Services’ Buy to Let Index also shows the average rent in England and Wales as £718pcm.

Spokesman David Newnes said: “In many cases, buying a home is now cheaper on a monthly basis – provided renters can get past the stumbling block of the substantial deposit requirements.”

I told the people when I signed up I’m likely to murder her Celebrity Big Brother winner Paddy Doherty who’s going to be living with Sally Bercow – wife of the Commons Speaker – for a reality TV show

TASTE OF VIENNA COMES TO LONDON Perceptions of Vienna will be turned on their side when the biggest structure ever erected in Trafalgar Square plays host to an aerial display.

The Vienna Tourist Board is building a 21m-high wall for a vertical show and public challenge, where visitors can walk face-first down the wall.

The free event runs from 12.30pm to 8.30pm on October 25 and 26.

ON THE TUBE

Celebration: anti-Gaddafi supporters outside the Libyan Embasssy in London

‘Big day for Libyan history’ Crowds cheer outside embassy in London after Gaddafi killed There were emotional scenes at the Libyan Embassy in London on Thursday afternoon, as a jubilant crowd gathered to mark the death of Muammar Gaddafi.

People cheered and waved flags as the news was confirmed the deposed leader had died after coming under attack in his hometown of Sirte.

Amani Deghayes told CNN: “My father was killed by Gaddafi in 1980 when I was five.” Referring to her daughters, who were waving Libyan flags nearby, she added: “They never got to meet him, so I am so glad my kids have been able to see there is a happy ending to this story.

“I never thought it would happen. Now I just hope everything works out and Libya can become a stable, free and democratic

country.” Officials were also present at the gathering in central London.

Mahmoud Al Nacua, Libya’s ambassador to the UK, told the crowd: “Libyan freedom fighters have finally succeeded in throwing the curtain on Gadhafi’s crimes.

“Their brave actions have spared Libya and the world from any further suffering of his evils. Today Libya’s future begins. Gaddafi, a black era, has come to an end forever.”

Gaddafi was cornered by rebel fighters after a Nato airstrike on the convoy of vehicles in which he was travelling. He was shot in the legs and head and died from his injuries. It marks the end of his 42-year rule. Consulate worker in London Abdusalam Zbida told CNN: “It is a big day for Libyan history.”

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

THIS WEEK’S CLOSURES

CIRCLE: No service all weekend.

DISTRICT: No service between Embankment and Aldgate East and between High Street Kensington and Edgware Road.

H’SMITH & CITY: No service between Baker Street and Royal Oak.

NORTHERN: No service on Sunday between High Barnet and Camden Town southbound until 8.30am Monday and northbound until 9am Monday.

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Photos: Getty

WATERLOO: Closed on Sundays.

Expect tech geeks to be on heightened alert as the Nokia World 2011 conference takes place at the ExCel in east London.

More than 3000 industry experts will be attending the event on Wednesday and Thursday, discussing the latest musthave gadgets as well as the future of technology.

It may sound geek-tastic, but it’s bound to be marked by the launch of a show-stopping product. Rumour has it, this will be the first Nokia phone to use Microsoft’s Windows Phone 7 – expected to be called the Nokia 800.

And, if those rumours are to be believed, the product will launch in London in November in a bid to scupper its rivals.

Geeks, get your sleeping bags to the ready.

Excited? What the new phone could look like

DISCOVER YOUR CREATIVE POTENTIAL NO MATTER WHAT YOUR AGE, PROFESSION OR SKILL LEVEL

C E NTR A L SAI NT MA RTI N S C O LLE G E O F A RTS & D E SIG N

SHORT COURSES 2011—12

EVENING, DAYTIME AND SATURDAY COURSES. CHRISTMAS, EASTER AND SUMMER SCHOOL COURSES. ANIMATION ARCHITECTURE BUSINESS SKILLS CERAMICS COMPUTING CREATIVE PROCESS DANCE DRAWING FASHION

FILM AND VIDEO FINE ART GRAPHIC DESIGN ILLUSTRATION INTERIOR DESIGN JEWELLERY PAINTING PERFORMANCE PHOTOGRAPHY

PORTFOLIO PREPARATION PRINTMAKING PRODUCT DESIGN SCULPTURE TEXTILES THEATRE DESIGN WRITING

PLUS THESE COURSES: 13–15 YEAR OLDS / 16–18 YEAR OLDS / DUAL CITY SUMMER: MILAN, BARCELONA, PARIS / ENGLISH PLUS / FULL-TIME PORTFOLIO PREPARATION / ONLINE COURSES / STUDY ABROAD SHORT COURSE WEB LISTINGS AND SECURE ONLINE BOOKINGS:

W W W. CSM . ARTS . AC .U K / S HO RTCO U R S E TELEPHONE ENQUIRIES: +44 (0)20 7514 7015

Blind fury: get rid of your anger before it gets the better of ... oh, too late

Angry London From riots to road rage, we are flipping out. It’s time to get a grip. Here’s how you can calm down WORDS REBECCA KENT AND ALISON GRINTER The pace of London is so frenetic, even the patience of the Dalai Lama would be tested. It’s no wonder we are prone to bouts of anger. It only takes small, every-day occurrences for rage to rear its ugly head – when you are nearly bowled over by a cyclist on your way to work; when someone’s taken your favourite mug; or when your computer just says “no”. So how do you alleviate your fury without being sectioned under the Mental Health Act? There are probably more ways than you think. Whether your initial instinct is to smash up the first object you see, laugh hysterically, or fall into a deep meditative state, there are places you can go without being deemed insane.

Scrap Club is the most cathartic of them all. Here, more than 100 goggled, helmeted and angsty adrenaline-seekers beat the crap out of various household objects – such as TVs, washing machines, cookers, computers, musical instruments, office furniture and the occasional car – with sledgehammers, crowbars and bats.

“Everyone’s got their own motives for coming,” says Wajid Yaseen, 42, a sound artist who founded the club 8

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four years ago with his friend, Joel Cahen. “Hitting something with a sledgehammer is a very satisfying feeling that can’t be achieved in a lot of sports.”

In a Scrap Club session, men and women of all ages and in attire of their choosing – some have turned up in evening wear – are let loose in the ‘scrap pit’ for 10 minutes to wreak total destruction. But most underestimate the physical demands of laying waste with a sledgehammer and don’t last very long. “Frankly everyone’s fucked by five minutes,” Yaseen says.

If there’s truth to the saying, ‘the objects you own end up owning you’, then they are definitely put in their place at Scrap Club, with domestic appliances bearing the brunt of the participants’ fury. One woman returns time after time to exact revenge on a humble printer, an object attached to many a traumatic moment in her life.

And when it comes to instruments, pianos really get it.

“The sonic impact of them being hit is fascinating,” Yaseen says. “It’s interesting seeing how everybody manifests when they’re in full-flight.

The hard, statued types are quite focused and the seemingly shy, reserved types go mental.”

At the other end of the spectrum, yet no less mad, is the art of Biodanza.

Also know as Dance Of Life, it is performed to world music, with your biased thoughts and fears put to one side and the focus being on connecting with other human beings.

Part physical therapy, part meditation, participants follow a guided dance and, according to Gita Sootarsing, an expert in the movement, it will absolutely cure anger.

“A session encourages the production of endorphine, the happy chemical, and oxytocin, the soothing chemical,” Sootarsing says. “Spectacular results have been produced from people who do it regularly.”

Whatever floats your boat, we say. If it makes you a happy camper, then stick to it.

16 WAYS TO COMBAT ANGER ›› Scrap Club holds various events throughout the year; Biodanza sessions are held across London scrapclub.co.uk biodanzacentral.com

Take that F*$%er: lash out at Scrap Club

Keep calm: taking it out on pencils can work

... but casting spells on colleagues is not cool

WALK-IN BACK-RUB COVENT GARDEN

GET CRAFTY ISLINGTON

It’s amazing how transformative a 10-minute back-rub can be.

Let the Covent Garden team work their magic while you float away and forget all your worldly cares.

Using your hands soothes the soul so join a crafty course at The Make Lounge. Upcoming classes include Knockout Knickers and Paper Cutting Art. You’ll feel good and take home a masterpiece.

£11

£48

Any time, no apt needed 14 Neal’s Yard, WC2H 9DP walkinbackrub.co.uk Covent Garden

Weekly classes available 49-51 Barnsbury St, N1 1TP themakelounge.com Angel

GREEN EXERCISE LONDON PARKS Studies show a link between exposure to green space and reduced stress levels. Being in natural surroundings gives us the chance to forget about the pressures of life. Combine that with the therapeutic benefits of excercise and the result is lower blood-pressure and a boost to the immune system. London has so many green spaces to choose from, there’s really no excuse.

FREE

Any time, anywhere (weather permitting) naturalengland.org.uk

SUNLIGHT THERAPY CITY With the onset of winter comes Seasonal Affective Disorder.

While SAD is enough to make you mad, you can beat it – and boost bloodcirculation and production of D3 vitamins – with a spot of sunlight therapy. Ajala Spas claim to have the only commercially available ‘sunlight rooms’ in the UK. These offer three settings – Bali, Miami and Mauritius – and can be programmed to create sunrise, full daylight or sunset.

An hour in the Real Sunlight room will give you the same amount of UV as you would get from 20 minutes on a sunny day. £20

By appointment 8-10 Cooper’s Row, EC3N 2BD ajalaspa.com Tower Hill

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SINGING BOROUGH

TAKE TO THE WATER NORTH LONDON

LAUGHTER THERAPY ACROSS LONDON

Well, it worked for Adam Sandler when he trilled I Feel Pretty in Anger Management. Join choreographer AJ as he brings some Glee fun to London. You learn a routine you can sing along to.

Learn to concentrate on your breathing to the exclusion of all else.

Once you’ve mastered the technique, you can take a chill-pill whenever the red mist starts to descend.

There’s nothing more calming than a day on the water so grab a canoe or kayak and make for the nearest lake. The friendly, welcoming Castle Canoe Club, located at the West Reservoir Centre in North London, boasts a huge selection of equipment to suit all levels, from beginners to experienced paddlers. Membership to the club is required but current membership (Oct-Dec) is very reasonable at only £25. Not only is paddling a thorough all-over body workout but it is also therapeutic. It’s also a good opportunity to escape the frenetic pace of life onshore and enjoy some quiet time away from the madding crowd. Whoever heard of water rage?

It’s not just a cliche; laughter really is the best medicine. Research shows it can boost your immune system and help release endorphins, reducing stress and anxiety. It also connects people, breaks down barriers and promotes positivity. All the above make it an excellent method of tackling anger. Helping people to see the lighter side of life is The Laughter Network. They run regular Laughter Clubs, Laughter Meditations and Laughter Yoga sessions in a variety of locations all over London.

Their sessions can last anywhere between 30 minutes and two hours.

Courses are also available.

Whichever form of therapy you choose, you’re bound to come out smiling.

Weekly sessions available Heruka Centre, NW11 8ES meditateinlondon.org.uk Golders Green

Sundays and Tuesdays Green Lanes, N4 2HA castlecanoeclub.co.uk Manor House

Weekly sessions Various rib-tickling venues across London laughternetwork.co.uk

£15

Every Monday, 8pm Soho Gyms, Borough, SE1 4NL thegleeks.co.uk Borough

BREATHING MEDITATION NORTH LONDON £8

£25

£5

YOGA BLOOMSBURY

WHOLISTIC STRESS MANAGEMENT SOUTH KENSINGTON

For an instant dose of anger-busting Zen, try some yoga. Egoist Body Studio offers a huge menu of yoga and relaxation classes from Dynamic Vinyasa Flow Yoga to Hatha or Ashtanga Yoga Fusion. £12

Weekly classes 6 Fitzroy Square, W1T 5DX egoistbody.com Warren Street

KICKBOXING CROUCH END There’s nothing like smashing your fists into a punching bag to get rid of some pent-up frustration and anger. Based in North London, Kickboxx’s classes are guaranteed to give you a full-body workout and get you into shape. Beginners and advanced classes available. £20

Weekly classes available 1st Floor, Fredericks Place N8 8AF kickboxx.co.uk Crouch Hill

ANGER MANAGEMENT TREATMENT HOLBORN If things make you go “grrrr” on a regular basis, you might want to bring in the big guns. The British Association of Anger Management are experts in the field and offer proven techniques and strategies to reduce anger levels. Based in Sussex, they offer group programmes as well as bespoke and one-to-one sessions across London, mostly in the form of tenweek courses. Weekend retreats are also available.

Don’t have time for that?

Then download their ‘Keep Your Cool Kit’, which includes tips on handling anger and strategies for defusing difficult situations, direct from their website.

Photos: Pawel Libera, Thinkstock, Joel Cahen

£620

Various sessions at locations across London angermanage.co.uk

If you’re a stress bunny and are finding that you’re taking it out on your loved ones, it might be time to take a wholistic approach to the problem. Chi Moves in London harness the power of the ancient Chinese form of exercise and breathing, known as Tai Chi, to offer a wholistic approach to stress management. Their new four-week course will teach you the principles and philosophy of Tai Chi and Chi Kung and show you how you can incorporate them into your daily life to destress and achieve a sense of harmony, balance and wellbeing. £250

Courses regularly available Evolve Wellness Centre, SW7 3HG chimoves.co.uk South Kensington

SHIRODHARA GREENWICH

MIXED MARTIAL ARTS EAST LONDON

You won’t be angry once you’ve tried this treatment. Hot oil is poured on to your forehead, which represents the “third eye”. Try a one-hour session at the Ayurveda Pura Health Spa & Beauty Centre.

Like kickboxing, Mixed Martial Arts allows you to channel your rage through pure physical exertion. Unlike kickboxing, however, MMA is very on trend at the moment – it’s even the subject of new Hollywood film Warrior.

A full-contact combat sport, it combines boxing, wrestling, Brazilian jiujitsu, Muay Thai and karate, among other styles, and provides excellent cardio and toning fitness.

Specialising in MMA training, the London Fight Factory trains those who want to fight competitively and provides a range of classes for those who have studied martial arts before. Absolute beginners, meanwhile, can sign up for ‘back to basics’ lessons on Monday nights.

£55

By appointment 48 Newton Lodge, SE10 0BA ayurvedapura.com North Greenwich

PILATES SPITALFIELDS Niggling injuries can make you narky, so make sure you sort them out. Moss Pilates provides relief to people with sports injuries or back and posture problems. Single classes and longer courses are available. £24

Weekly classes London Fruit Exchange, E1 6HB mosspilates.com Liverpool Street

£15

Weekly classes available 19 Ebeneezer St, N1 7LU londonfightfactory.com

HYPNOSIS HOLBORN Using powerful natural tools of hypnosis, visualisation and direct suggestion, the City Hypnosis anger management programme aims to bring about positive change for hotheads by helping them to control their reactions and changing the way they allow daily events to affect them. NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) is also built into the session. £165

By appointment WC2A 1AL www.cityhypnosis.com Chancery Lane

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Metropolis Music present

MYLONDON

LAURA ZILLI MODEL, PRESENTER What baffles me about London is all the different people and fashion mainly in various areas of London, especially as some places are so near to one another yet they differ so much. It’s odd.

London’s best-kept secret is all the small places to get a bite to eat in Notting Hill – I’ve lived here for years. Although I’m sure if more people knew about these hidden gems, they wouldn’t be as special, such as the Falafel King and El Camion in Portobello Road. Also the Grain Shop for hearty warm and healthy food.

WEDNESDAY 9TH NOVEMBER

O2 SHEPHERDS BUSH EMPIRE 0844 477 2000 | 0844 811 0051 | gigsandtours.com | ticketline.co.uk www.the-parlotones.com

Book online and you’ll be in the Prize Draw to win an Olympus Camera

When I want to chill out I love to drive out to the country. I turn my phone off and listen to my music very loud! I find this the most chilled-out thing to do, and then I arrive at my mum’s house to a nice home cooked meal.

The most interesting person I’ve met was Bianca Jagger – who was sitting on my table at a private dinner party hosted by Donatella Versace. Also on my table were Chelsea Clinton and Boy George! Jagger’s led a glamorous life and has managed to use her ‘star power’ for charitable causes – plus she had a few juicy stories to tell!

My favourite place for a drink is at Motcombs, Notting Hill, which is a very old eatery that serves great wine and bistro-style food. I also like going to The Rib Room at the Carlton Tower. The bar does great cocktails and it’s intimate so good for a catch up with the girls.

For when you’re hungover in London you can’t beat a good cheeseburger from Byron Burger and a full-fat coke. It works every time. With fries and onion rings, of course!

What gets me up in the morning? I’d love to say it’s the thought of jogging around the park or the gym, but often it’s my dog Coco.

My perfect weekend would be catching up on TV. Or I love a good takeaway on the sofa with my boyfriend.

The last naughty thing I did was leave a present from Coco in the park. At times, I just forget the doggy bags!

Five words that sum up London ... multicultural, lonely, green, fun, busy.

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BEST DRESSED WINS 8 Day Exotic Egypt Tour for 1 person

HALLOWEEN PARTY Saturday 29th Oct

LONDONDRINKS

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ZIGFRID VON UNDERBELLY

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A dirty, Seventies porn version of the Sistine Chapel

BAR THE SCENE Zigfrid von Underbelly has carved out a niche as the most chaotic watering hole in Hoxton Square. With decor that looks like it was hijacked from an eclectic jumble sale, this labyrinthine bar is full of dark corners for those seeking privacy, as well as open spaces for big groups who want to draw attention to themselves. And there are plenty of superstars in Hoxton.

THE GRUB It’s affordable and basic – there’s not much over £10. If you’re looking to share, the nachos with chilli beef are a good place to start. The Irish stew is perfect for a cold winter’s night. There’s a good range of burgers and sandwiches – the jerk chicken sandwich and beef fajita wrap are among the highlights.

BEHIND THE BAR The drinks list is the most orthodox part of the bar, which may disappoint those with more adventurous tastes. There’s a limited but balanced wine list, some basic, well-made cocktails and an impressive choice of vintage ales.

BILL PLEASE Beers from £4; wines from £5 per glass; cocktails from £7.

VERDICT It’s a great atmosphere – self-styled as a “dirty Seventies porn version of the Sistine Chapel” – but you probably wouldn’t want to stay at Ziggy’s all night.

It’s a great place to start before kicking on to one of the thousand other bars nearby. Great fun, although probably best ingested in small doses. TOM STURROCK

11 Hoxton Square, N1 6NU

zigfrid.com

3 OF THE BEST KOREAN BBQS

Old Street

ASADAL

MYUNG GA

ARANG

Right next to Holborn station, Asadal does incredible dumplings and bibimbaps. But for £20 you can also get an epic BBQ at your table. The deep-fried mushrooms are spectacular.

On the corner of Kingly and Beak in Soho, Myung Ga is best-known for its fresh seafood, cooked in front of you. If you’re feeling adventurous, try the sliced ox tongue.

This place could have the best kimchi in town. Make sure you also try the meat extravanza, where £35 will get you a pile of ribs and fillets, all soaked in pepper and sesame oil.

asadal.co.uk

myungga.co.uk

arang.co.uk

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

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BITE SIZE

Good giggles: hop on board for typical Faulty Towers fun

SOME LIKE IT HOT Bored with lattes? Fed up of herbals?

Then jazz up your hot water with one of the six new festive cordial flavours from Bottlegreen. Sip fragrant ginger and lemongrass; lime; elderflower; Cox’s apple and plum; spiced berry; and exotic pomegranate and elderflower to warm the cockles on cold days. They are available from major supermarkets from £2.99. bottlegreendrinks.com

TRUFFLE HEAVEN October marks truffle season and to celebrate, Clos Maggiore restaurant in Covent Garden is offering a sixcourse tasting menu. For £59, feast of a host of dishes, including ovenroasted Elwy Valley lamb fillet with truffle and Cheddar gnocchi, roasted Jerusalem artichoke and truffle sauce.

For an extra £30, you can choose for each course to be specially paired with a glass of wine. The menu runs November 14 to 27. If you’ve never tried truffles before, now’s a good time to see what the fuss is about. www.closmaggiore.com

MERRY ICE CREAM Ice-cream lovers can now get their fix with a festive twist, thanks to a devilish new range from the Ice Creamists in Covent Garden. It’s menu has been overhauled to include such flavours as mulled wine and port sorbetto, gingerbread, chocolate orange, and white chocolate, plus treats like ice-cream sandwiches (pictured). Christmas has come early! theicecreamists.com

RS HISPANIOLA BRITISH THE SCENE As we board the RS Hispaniola, we can hear the manager shouting at a member of his waiting staff for dropping peanuts on the floor. We order drinks at the bar and wait to be seated amid what can only be described as mayhem – apparently the chef is inebriated and there isn’t enough food to cater for the 50 diners tonight. My husband and I continue to wait ... 15 minutes after schedule, and without an apology, we’re taken to our table. Our cutlery has been laid out incorrectly – and then I have to duck as the table next to me has asked for a bread roll and it’s being thrown across the room to them. I ask for butter, and the waiter steals it from the table next to us. Another guest finds a set of false teeth in his soup. The manager’s wife appears to be drunk and is talking loudly to each of the diners (asking if they’re vegetarian or ‘normal’), while her husband tries to communicate (without much luck) to the rather short, mustached waiter – who doesn’t seem to know any English apart from, “I know nothing”. Cue two hours of chaos and laugh-out-loud jokes and mishaps with Basil, Sybil and Manuel – from Faulty Towers The Dining Experience (including a hilarious ‘don’t mention the war’ scene and the obligatory goose step).

THE GRUB It’s a set menu – tomato and basil (geddit!) soup; chicken in mushroom sauce or wild mushroom risotto and apple tart with custard. The food is delicious.

The only grumble would be the portions are too small and our meals aren’t very hot – but you’re not here just for the food.

Everything you’d expect from a decent pub. A decent selection of wines and champagnes; a reasonable selection of beers and spirits.

BILL PLEASE From £50pp for show and three-course meal. Wines from £15 per bottle.

VERDICT You’re guaranteed a laugh. And you don’t need to be a fan of the TV show to appreciate the actors are superb. Runs until Oct 30. CAROL DRIVER BEHIND THE BAR

Victoria Embankment, WC2N 5DJ

hispaniola.co.uk

Embankment

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LETTER OF THE WEEK

Child beggars: to give or not to give?

81707*

The wolves FC website has been down for three days. It’s as if they’re getting themselves used to it.

Tenzing When people with lisps say “Bithneth”, you know they mean business.

Gossamer Wump Cops are looking for a mugger with honey, filo and walnuts smeared on his face.The victim said he was wearing a baklava.

Loco SA How do you make a tortoise fast? Don’t feed him.

Troy So, Lady Gaga is dropping Facebook for charity.

She should also think about dropping her knickers, for clarity.

Lara If the KKK think white people are better, why dress like muslim women?

Crafty Cross Sky News: “Emergency services were worried about a torrent of melted ice.” I believe the technical term is “water”.

Davo Technically, good old Humpty Dumpty died a crack head.

Frank “One man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure” is an awesome phrase. But it’s a horrible way to tell your kid they’re adopted.

* Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ bill payers only. Send STOP to end.

Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

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EMAIL YOUR THOUGHTS TO LETTERS@TNTMAGAZINE.COM

I just read the story on tntmagazine.com about child beggars making £100K a year. I cured myself of this type of charity about 20 years ago. You, the people who give them change, are solely responsible for their antics. You are the same sort of people who will insist on feeding the animals who wander into camp in an African game reserve, resulting in them having to be shot as they turn into pests and are sometimes dangerous.

Carlos Pereira, via Facebook

GET A LIFE I work in a bar and the amount of people who try to get cheap or free drinks is ridiculous, but Monday was an all-time low. I had to serve a cocktail in a different glass. The customer looked at me in disgust, demanded a discount and even asked for the manager. If your biggest problem in life is that you are being served a drink in wrong glass you need to get out more. Twat!

Meaghan Alves, via email

WHICH IS IT? Laura Chubb’s comment piece in TNT 1467 rightly slates Matthew Wright for asking: “Foxy Knoxy: would ya?” Yet in your recent letters page, you are happy to print inane messages on the topic: “Amanda Knox is fit. I’d have a sex game gone wrong with her any day” and “Nobody that gorgeous to look at could ever be guilty of anything but being a stunner!” Not only are these messages

in incredibly poor taste, but they also undermine the moral outrage manufactured in your comment page. Please make your minds up!

Adam Beresford, via email (Everyone has different opinions and we’re happy to print those – even if they do sometimes differ to what our writers think - Ed)

DON’T SHOOT It was awful news to hear officials shot so many of the animals that escaped from an animal sanctuary in Ohio. Tranq them and move them somewhere safe. Wouldn’t that have been the logical thing to do?

Brooke Marshall, via Facebook

HAPPY READER So many good ideas for travel in last week’s issue.

Keep up the good work!

Tony Josef, via email COSPLAY BOLIVIA /72

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YOUR TWEETS Tweet us @tntmagazine @Lifeinsandbox: One of the best parts about Sunday morning is reading the tweets people post after a night of drinking. @Remiel: My parents didn’t retweet me enough. @dearblankplease: Dear insufferable “know-it-all”.

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LONDONSOUND

ALISON GRINTER ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Last week hell froze over and pigs took to the sky. They must have done because, unless my ears deceived me or I imagined all those gushing music columns, the Stone Roses somehow magically reformed. I say magically because Messrs Squire and Brown have sworn black and blue since their ignomious split 15 years ago they would NEVER EVER reform. Ever. Got that? (In fact let’s just make an artwork saying: “I Have No Desire To Desecrate Stone Roses’ Grave” in case people missed the previous subtle messages!) Even if moolah is behind this new love-in, it’s still astonishing Squire and Brown have managed to bury their considerably bloodied hatchets. If they can do it, then surely all bets are off for other long estranged bands – such as The Smiths.

For years there have been rumours, and denials, from Johnny Marr and Morrissey about a possible reunion.

Now it’s only a matter of time ...

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NOEL GALLAGHER’S HIGH FLYING BIRDS Hammersmith Apollo SAT, OCT 29 | DOORS AT 7PM | £30

When Oasis finally disintegrated under the strain of brotherly non-love, it was inevitable the Gallaghers, having licked their wounds, would release solo albums.

Liam got in first – the band’s erstwhile showpony and frontman hooked up with three of his former Oasis bandmates under the moniker Beady Eye, and, rather predictably, put out Different Gear, Still Speeding, a very Oasis-sounding album with a slight psychedelic spin. This left big bruv, Oasis’s songwriter-in-chief, to do something a little more inspiring and interesting with his new outfit, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds.

The good news is he appears to have achieved this, if a quick listen to his eponymous solo debut is anything to go by. Unshackled from his bone-headed sibling, and with the help of new bandmates Jeremy Stacey (drums), Lenny Castro (percussion) and Mike Rowe (keyboards), Noel seems to have been sonically liberated. Recorded in both London and Los Angeles with co-producer Dave Sardy, the album nods to Ennio Morricone and techno pioneer Derrick May, and features some stunning orchestration. OK, so he hasn’t reinvented the wheel and there’s plenty of Oasis influence on there too but, unlike Liam, Noel is taking baby steps in a new direction, which is commendable. Even before it had been released, fans had gone mad, ordering the album via Amazon on the strength of singles such as AKA... What A Life, and it now looks set for the top of the charts. Here’s your chance to hear it live for the first time.

Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH

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NEW BAND

BRITNEY SPEARS GIG OCT 27-28 6.30PM £50-£55

Her sexpot star may have waned compared to the likes of Rihanna and Lady Gaga in recent years, but Spears still knows how to cause a stir.

Her Criminal vid, showing the pop diva packing heat in the badlands of Hackney, attracted criticism for glamorising violence. The bad gal’s in town for her Femme Fatale tour this week.

Photos: Getty

The O2 Peninsular Sq, SE10 0DX theo2.co.uk North Greenwich

PROPAGANDA H’WEEN SPOOKTACULAR

THE BIG CHILL HOUSE PRESENTS BRUK OUT

CLUB

CLUB

SAT, OCT 29. 10.30PM-4AM £5 adv

SAT, OCT, 9PM-4AM Free

Venturing away from the familiar Islington Academy, Propaganda are heading south of the river to Brixton for a ‘Spooktacular’ mix of indie tunes and ghoulish fun this weekend. Plan B’s beatboxer Faith SFX is the cherry on top of a bill that includes Propaganda residents DJ Dan, The Postman, Andy Tokyo and more.

Grime and hip-hop promoters Bruk Out bring the freshest sounds in UK bass to the capital this week for a Halloween special. Heading up the main room will be slick production duo Greenmoney, Rinse FM regulars Elijah & Skilliam and funky house DJ extraordinaire Marcus Nasty.

Room 2 will be hosted by Yo Mama!

Electric Brixton Town Hall Parade, SW2 1RJ thepropaganda.com Brixton

The Big Chill House 257-259 Pentonville Rd N1 9NL bigchill.net Kings Cross

ARCTIC MONKEYS

THE CROSSFIRE HALLOWEEN MASSACRE

ALICE COOPER’S H’WEEN NIGHT OF FEAR

GIG

CLUB

GIG

OCT 29-30 6.30PM £32.50

FRI, OCT 28, 9PM-5AM £10

SAT, OCT 29 7PM £34.50

Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner recently spilled his guts about his songwriting habits, calling himself “a romantic fool”. Still, nothing wrong with that, as the success of his band’s fifth album Suck It And See attests. Boasting cinematic flourishes and Turner’s trenchant as ever lyrics, it gets an airing this week.

Skate scene website Crossfire returns for its annual Halloween shindig, and this year’s promises to be the most raucous yet. Alongside a skate art exhibition, there will be DJ sets from High Rankin & Tigerlight, Rout & Sgt Rolfy (Enter Shikari) and Rack N Ruin, plus a live set from Brooklyn five-piece hardcore act Cerebral Ballzy.

After his hugely successful Night Of Fear at the Roundhouse last year, Alice Cooper brings his spooky extravaganza to town once again. Expect a run-through of the dark lord’s hits plus a host of bizarre performance artists, handpicked by Cooper himself, at what promises to be London’s biggest costume party this weekend.

The O2 Peninsular Sq, SE10 0DX theo2.co.uk North Greenwich

Hidden 100 Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ caughtinthecrossfire.com Vauxhall

Alexandra Palace Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY alexandrapalace.com Wood Green. £34.50

KELLY PAIGE THE BUZZ SO FAR Hailing from Nashville, Tennessee, 22-year-old Kelly Paige looked set for a career in country music. But anxious to avoid the twangin’ D.I.V.O.R.C.E. clichés of the genre, Paige hotfooted it to London and is now being compared to the late, great Amy Winehouse.

Her influences, ranging from classic rockers such as Tom Petty and Bob Dylan through to country rebel Loretta Lynn, plus her experience playing in a punk band mean she knows how to put a 21st-century spin on vintage sounds. Her debut, Hurt Like Me, with its sleazy fuzzedup guitars is a stellar example.

THE CRITICS SAY “Jazz meets country for a broken generation – her star is destined to shine bright all over the airwaves.” Battery In Your Leg THE PLUG Hurt Like Me is out Oct 31

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 24

BOOK NOW!

Cuban Hideaway DJ Rich plays Latin, house, funk and R‘n’B. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). 9.40pm-late. £5.

Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

House Sweet House DJs Chuckie, Skratchee, Maestro Lee, Shorty Bliss, Danos, Jam Masters and Skyline Sounds supply house. The Blagclub, Kensal Town, Kensal Rd, W10 5BN (020 7243 0123). 11.30pm4.30am. £10, ladies £8 before midnight, gents £6 before midnight.

Iluvlive DJ Twin B spins hip-hop, grime and R‘n’B, plus Rickstar, Baby Sol, Sam Sure and Giacomo and Scrufizzer perform live, with host Ras Kwame. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 7pmmidnight. £10, guestlist £7, adv £5.

Popcorn Jonesey, Jamie Hammond, Harvey Adam and Terry T Rex spin dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip-hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8.

Rehab DJs Val, Satoko, Zoe Demonettes, Joe, Saral and Hale supply indie, electro and pop.

The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, £1 before 10.30pm.

TUESDAY 25 Bossa Nova Lounge Brazilian Jazz music from residents Aline Stoffel and Netto Pio, plus live music from Jandira Silva. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-2.30am. £10, free before 9pm.

Dirty Fuxx DJ Will Manning spin house, techno, electro, hip-hop, R‘n’B, dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass.

The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 9pm-1am. £5, NUS £3, free before 9pm.

Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

The London Foreign Exchange Show Traphik, LiL Crazed, D Pryde and DJ LazYellow supply hip-hop, club classics and funky house.

The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000).

10pm-4am. £20 & £25, adv £15.

OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Panic! Max, Gaz and That Perfect Fumble play indie, electro and post-punk. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer/NUS £3.

White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus play electro, techno and indie, plus Lo Fi Fnk and Battlekat perform live. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

8pm-3am. £6, adv £4 & £5.

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Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, funky house, garage, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm, mems free.

Yoyo Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade spin a mix of hip-hop, dubstep, garage and grime.

Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7.30pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

FRIDAY 28 FIELDS Electrowerkz, November 4. £8 Adv This new bi-monthly electronica night promises “danceable experiments” from live acts and DJs. Rising glitchmeister Max Cooper (above) headlines.

7 Torrens St, EC1V 1NQ

fieldsldn.net

WEDNESDAY 26 Cheapskates Old-school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3.30am. £6.50, NUS £5.50, w/flyer £4.50.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

Diff’rent Strokes Phatcatz, Maintain, CJ I DJ, Lonyo and MOBO Award winner and Kiss FM DJ Manny Norte play neo soul, 1980s pop, US house, funk and R‘n’B. Cherryjam, Porchester Rd, W2 6ET (020 7727 9950).

9pm-2am. £10, £5 before 11pm.

Filthy Habits Student Night DJs play chart hits from the 1980s, 1990s and now. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

8.30pm-3am. £5, NUS £3.

Free Flatshare Party Resident DJs spin house, electro and chart.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Madd Raff Wednesdays The Heatwave supply bashment and dancehall, plus a dance session with dancehall instructor Safwaan Shoshoni of Pineapple Studios. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 6pm-1am. £3 & £5.

Majestic Vibe DJ El Moreno spins funky house, R‘n’B and old-school classics. Diu, Greek St, W1D 4DJ (020 7025 7844). 9pm-3am. £5.

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Screen Social DJs play soundtracks, mix music videos, animations and experiments, while the back bar showcases independent shorts, plus a mini film quiz and live music.

The Book Club, Leonard St, EC2A 4RH (020 7684 8618).

7pm-midnight. £5, adv £3.

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Angel

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop.

Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £6, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

THURSDAY 27 The After Work Jam TC Fords, Invasion Crew, Jag 1 Sound and Patrick J supply R‘n’B, dancehall, soca and funk. Euphoriom, High St, W3 6NG (020 8993 2915).

8pm-late. £5, free before 11pm.

Bete Noire DJ Lucifer Box spins vintage swing, jazz and R‘n’B, plus burlesque performances, with host Ophelia Bitz. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 8pm3am. £10, adv £5, free before 10.30pm.

C’est La Vie DJ Colin Francis plays house and commercial dance classics. Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm.

Deepo Ivaylo, Olanski, Patrick Turner, Asad Rizvi and Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113).

10pm-6am. £15, concs £10.

Gravity House, commercial pop and R‘n’B across three rooms, from residents including Leandro Kloppel, Jon Byrne, The Oli and Sharp Boys.

Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). midnight-8am. £10, w/flyer £8, w/flyer £6 before 3am.

Hat Club Katie Cooper, Damien Stone and Danny Keston spin uplifting house music.

Piccadilly Institute, London Pavillion, Piccadilly, W1V 9LA (020 7287 8008).

5pm-3am. £10, £7 before midnight, £5 before 10.30pm, NUS £2.

Atmosphere Danny Rampling and Cliff Choudrey spin house. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9.30pm-3.30am. £10.

Burlesque Idol Lola LaBelle hosts the burlesque talent show, plus live comedy support.

Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 7.30pm-9pm. £10.

Club Antichrist Industrial, metal and goth music from DJs including Krishcan of Rotersand, Hive, Jo The Waiter, Stix, Vade Retro, D Void, DJ X and Ray J, plus fetish entertainment. This night has a punk and fetish dress code. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 8pm-6am. £28.

Favela Blockparty DJs Limao and Marilia Felix play Brazilian funk, Latin, house, R‘n’B and hip-hop, plus Sambatuque performs live. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-2.30am. £10, free before 9pm.

The Gallery Judge Jules, Lange, Protoculture, Stonebridge, Gavyn Mytchel, Steve Richards, Shane Davies, Plastic Fondu, House2House spin trance, house and techno. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £13.

Over The Moon Commander B, Jolly Roger, Ice, Spider, PnP and Prezident spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, reggae and funky house.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-5am. £12, w/flyer £5, w/flyer free before 12.30am.

Phrenetik Presents Funk Them Girls Oskar, Alex XS and Dwain Stephens spin house, electro and techno. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-1am. £4.

Spangulation Marco La Rosa, Dave Bennett, Marc Antoine, Danny Covington and Dean G play trance and techno. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322).

11pm-7am. £12, £8 before midnight.

Mind Flowers No 3 DJs Factory Floor and Neil Shah spin garage, house and dubstep, with live performances from Sculpture and Ekoplekz. Catch, Kingsland Rd, E2 8DA (020 7729 6097). 8pm-late. £6.

Therapy Dylan, The Panacea, Audio, Robyn Chaos, Nanotek, DJ E, Smyla, Sargy, Raggamuffin, Bkey, The Nice Guys, Spit and Script spin garage and electro, with MCs Hostile and ASL. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774).

10pm-6am. £12, adv £10.

Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375).

8pm-midnight. £10, £7.50 skate hire.

Warm The Berlin-based duo Ame provide house and techno. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471).

10pm-4am. £10, adv £8.

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SATURDAY 29 Bugged Out & Trailer Trash Presents: Hallogreen House, funk and techno courtesy of Green Velvet, Hannah Holland, Stop Making Me, Mikki Most, Ian Robinson and Alexander Parade.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 9.30pm-4am. £13.

Fall From Grace Deep funk and tech-house supplied by Luciano Esse, Inland Knights, Scott Costa and Chaz Beazli.

Secret Hoxton Location, N1 6NU (020 7729 1669). 10pm-6am. £30.

Guilty Pleasures Halloween Horror Ball DJs Sean Rowley and Anna Greenwood spin pop, disco and rock. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 9pm-3am. £13.50-£16.

Halloween Party Marlonuneaq, Alvin S and Craig D spin electronica and house, this party has a fancy dress competition.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 6pm-midnight. Free.

Kuch Kuch DJ Ritu plays Bollywood, bhangra, Arabic and chart. Apt, Queen St, EC4N 1TX (020 7618 9020).

10pm-3am. £15, VIP Adv £20.

Shalamar: Second Time Around Boogie Night DJs play disco and pop, plus Jeffrey Daniel, Howard Hewett and Carolyn Griffey perform live. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). 7pm-late. £35-£50.

Throwbaak DJ 279, Dave VJ, Jnr Mac and Rochelle De Lori play 1970s and 1980s soul, funk and disco. Babalou Bugbar, St Matthew’s Church, SW2 1JF (020 7738 7875).

10pm-5am. £10, £7 before midnight.

You Do That Voodoo Halloween Special DJ Shepdog plays hip-hop, soul, funk, breaks, house, drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep. Favela Chic, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 4228).

6pm-2am. £10, £5 before 10pm.

SUNDAY 30 Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Mark Radford, Maxwell Van Morrison and Edwards Lee spin house and techno, plus Bongo Man Flex on percussion, and Fitz on electric guitar. Club Aquarium, Old St, EC1V 9DD (020 7251 6136).

11pm-6am. £15, £10 before midnight, ladies free before midnight.

La Dolce Vita Simon Pisani, Hugh Fasher, Future Filth, The Berettas and Wayne Calita spin electro, house, techno and trance.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 4pm-11pm. Free.

Orange The Oli, Paul Martin and The Sharp Boys spin house in room one, while Gonzola Rivas, David Jiminez and Hi Fi Sean provide minimal techno and tech-house in room two. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890).

11pm-9am. £12, £10 before midnight, w/flyer £6 before midnight.

WetYourSelf House, electro, techno and Afrobeat supplied by DJ W!ld, Cormac, Jacob Husley and Peter Pixzel. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898).

11pm-6am. £10, adv £8, NUS £5.

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MONDAY 24

Britney Spears: Femme Fatale Tour The unpredictable pop princess performs songs from her seventh studio album, Femme Fatale, alongside other charttopping hits, such as ...Baby One More Time, Oops... I Did It Again, Toxic and Womaniser.

The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £50 & £55.

Bon Iver Indie-folk songsmith Justin Vernon leads an eight-piece band, performing songs from its self-titled sophomore album and debut For Emma, Forever Ago. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £20-£30.50.

Glasvegas Indie-rock from the Glasgow-based band. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £17.

Bobby Valentino & The Musicians Swing and easy listening by the London-based singer and colleagues. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.

Hot Club Of Boisdale Parisian swing inspired by Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt.

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

FRIDAY 28 The Answer, Gentleman’s Pistols The Downpatrick-based four-piece plays classic rock.

Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £15.

Bruno Mars Pop from the Hawaiian singer-songwriter.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £27.50.

The Overtones Doo wop pop from the vocal five-piece. London Palladium, Argyll St, W1F 7TF (0844 412 2704). £19.50-£29.50.

White Hills Groove-driven psychedelia and space rock from the New York-based band. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). £10, concs £8.

Sam Willoughby Pop-rock by the Australian singer-songwriter.

Wilton’s Music Hall, Graces Alley, off Ensign St, E1 8JB (020 7702 2789). Free.

TUESDAY 25 Asa The singer-songwriter and musician plays soul-pop in support of her album Beautiful Imperfection. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £20.

Katy B, P Money The Londonbased singer performs dubstep, electro, house and garage. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £16.50.

Erasure Electro-pop from Andy Bell and Vince Clarke, promoting their album Tomorrow’s World.

Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £32.50.

Florence And The Machine Singer-songwriter Florence Welch leads her outfit in playing indie and folk-influenced alt pop in support of the album Ceremonials. Hackney Empire, Mare St, E8 1EJ (020 8985 2424). £30.

Miles Kane, Folks Indie-rock from The Last Shadow Puppets singer-songwriter. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £13.50.

Cliff Richard: Soulicious Tour The veteran pop star and knight of the realm celebrates his 53rd year in music, performing an array of soul favourites with other vocalists including Percy Sledge, Dennis Edwards & The Temptations Review, Russell Thompkins Jr & The New Stylistics and many more.

The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £60 & £70.

Sharon Shannon Folk-pop and rock by the singer-songwriter.

Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £22.50.

WEDNESDAY 26 Paul Carrack Pop-rock and soul from the veteran singer-songwriter. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £18-£32.50.

Envy Hardcore metal by the Japanese band. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12.50.

Freyja The award-winning Australian singer-songwriter performs soulful electroacoustica and folk-pop in support of the album Not That Girl.

Pizza Express Jazz Club, Dean St, W1D 3RW (020 7437 9595/ cc 0845 602 7017). £12.

Ben Howard, Lucy Rose Indie-pop and Americana by the singer-songwriter from Devon. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £12.

Eilen Jewell Country and folk from the Boise-based singer-songwriter.

Cecil Sharp House, Regents Park Rd, NW1 7AY (020 7485 2206). £12.50.

London Guitar Festival In The Fall: Juan Martin Experienced flamenco guitar maestro from Andalusia.

Kings Place, York Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £9.50-£34.50.

Laura Marling Contemporary folk by the singer-songwriter from Eversley. Westminster Central Hall, Storeys Gate, SW1H 9NH (020 7222 8010). £22.50.

Noah And The Whale The Londonbased indie-folk outfit gently embraces synth-pop on the third album, Last Night On Earth. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £17.50.

Josh Pyke, Passenger Indie-pop from the Australian singersongwriter. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £10-£12.

Todd Sharpville Classic and original blues by the London-born guitarist, The Hon. Roland Augo Jestyn Estanislao Philipps. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £15.

Tinariwen, Eliza Carthy Desert blues by the Saharan-originating band. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £19.50-£24.50.

THURSDAY 27 Ryan Adams Acoustica from the alt country trailblazer and prolific singer-songwriter, playing old favourites as well as showcasing material from his album Ashes & Fire. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £32.50.

Cut Copy The Australian outfit blends 1980s synth music and vintage disco with indie and electronica, in support of the album Zonoscope. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £17.50.

John Foxx And The Maths, Xeno & Oaklander, The Neat Electronica by the pioneering artist and founder of Ultravox. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £22.50.

The Grand Slambovians Folk-rock from the American collective.

Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £24.

The Jim Jones Revue The retro revue quintet plays upbeat rock ‘n’ roll. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £14.

Lenny Kravitz Grammy Awardwinning rock from the New York-born singer-songwriter, promoting his ninth studio album, Black And White America.

HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £34.50.

The Phoenix Foundation Indie-pop from the New Zealand-based sixpiece. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £12.50.

The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band, Rangoon The American outfit plays alt country-blues.

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £12, adv £10.

Snow Patrol Lush pop by the multimillion selling band from Bangor, County Down. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £25.

Bowling For Soup Pop-punk from the American four-piece.

HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £20.

Cara Dillon Folk ballads from the County Derry singersongwriter. Blackheath Halls, Lee Rd, SE3 9RQ (020 8463 0100). £19.50, concs £17.50.

It Bites, Mostly Autumn The outfit plays progressive rock in support of Map Of The Past, a concept album based around photographs and memory. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20.

The Kings And Rogues, Live Politics, The Frequency, What Is Life For Alt rock by the London-based band. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10, adv £8, £4 before 11pm.

Mona Rock from the American four-piece. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £12.50.

Return To Camden Town Festival: Noel Hill, Tony Linnane And Alec Finn, Shaskeen, Run The musicians unite to play Irish folk. The London Irish Centre, Camden Sq, NW1 9XB (07871 088121). £15, adv £13, concs £10.

Shlomo And The Lip Factory The British beatboxer performs a musical mix using his mouth, a microphone and a loop sampler.

Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £15.50.

Chris Tummings, Victor Romero Evans, Skaaville All Stars Soul and reggae by the London-based actor-singer.

The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £12.

Wilco, Jonathan Wilson Singer-songwriter Jeff Tweedy leads his Chicago-based band in playing country and pop-influenced alternative rock. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £32.

Wretch 32, Loick Essien, Teezy, Duchess The London-based MC, Jermaine Scott performs grime and hip-hop. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £12.

SATURDAY 29 Arctic Monkeys, The Vaccines The four-piece from Sheffield plays indie-rock in support of the album Suck It And See. The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £32.50.

Black Veil Brides, Yashin, My Passion Classic rock from the American five-piece. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.50.

Alice Cooper: No More Mr Nice Guy Tour, New York Dolls The shock rock founding father performs his ghoulish hits with guitarists Steve Hunter, Damon Johnson and Tommy Henriksen.

Alexandra Palace, Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY (020 8365 2121). £34.50.

Hawklords, Gunslinger Classic space-rock from the London-based outfit. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

Jorge E Mateus, Rosane Caetano, Marcos E Guiliano Latin and dance by the Brazilian combo.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £30.

LIFEM: London International Festival Of Exploratory Music: Misty In Roots Reggae from the London-based veterans. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £15, adv £12.

John Mayall, Oli Brown Band The influential singer-songwriter performs his blues-rock hits spanning five decades. Cadogan Hall, Sloane Terrace, SW1X 9DQ (020 7730 4500). £34.50.

Return To Camden Town Festival: Brian Rooney, John Carty And Arty McGlynn, Brock Maguire Band The three-piece plays traditional Irish folk. The London Irish Centre, Camden Sq, NW1 9XB (07871 088121). £15, adv £13, concs £10.

Volbeat The Copenhagen-based outfit fuses heavy metal and rockabilly. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £13.50.

SUNDAY 30 Funeral For A Friend, Escape The Fate, Amity Affliction, The Bunny The Bear, Straight Lines Emo and post-hardcore from the Bridgend-based five-piece.

Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £17.50.

Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds The Britpop forefather and former Oasis songsmith plays solo material with his pop-rock project, including the single The Death Of You And Me. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £37.50 & £40.

PJ Harvey Contemplative rock from the unmistakable alternative singer-songwriter.

Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £50.

Jake & Elwood The duo performs Chicago blues and soul with the Black Rhino Band. The Duck N Dive Bar, ULU, Malet St, WC1E 7HX (020 7664 2000). £17.50.

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Hard work: cosplayers can take days making their outfits

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Costume drama The UK’s cosplay army is growing, and this weekend it’s coming to London. We take a look behind the scenes WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN How's this for an impressively bizarre job description: Freelance fur-suit and monster maker. Such is the occupation of Kimberly Rust (better known as KpopKimi or Kimi-Chan), who’s living proof costumes are not just for Halloween. This weekend, the capital will be swamped with zombies, devils and sexy cats – standard All Hallows fare – but at the ExCel Centre in east London, something else will be going on.

Here, adults dressed as superheroes, anime, computer game and comic book characters will converge en masse for the UK’s biggest annual cosplay event.

Cosplay, for the uninitiated, simply means ‘costume play’.

It’s a close-knit, slightly obsessive world in which grown-ups ditch normality to become figures of fantasy, if only for a few hours. The scene is massive in Japan, where teenagers in statement anime-dress gather in Tokyo’s Harajuku district to see and be seen. The subculture has spread, albeit in a slightly altered form, and the MCM Expo London Comic Con 2011 will attract more than 50,000 devotees.

To create an outfit based on a favoured fictional character is the first objective; parading it in front of fellow cosplayers the second. The unabashedly exhibitionist, wildly creative energy that goes into players’ attire is staggering. And on October 29, it’s time to show it off. “It's more than just dressing up,” says Rust, 23. “You spend a lot of time creating something then you can relax and be yourself, or go that step further and actually become a character you love.”

The extent to which cosplayers actually “become” their characters varies. For some, wearing the costume is an end in itself, others take on attributes of their character, seeing it as a chance, perhaps, to escape or express something about themselves.

“There are no rules,” says Rob Dunlop, co-creator of cosplayfever.com and associated book, Cosplay Fever Red. “But some people take it very seriously and stay in character. I once asked a Silent Bob lookalike if I could take his picture and was met with silence. We carried out the whole shoot without him speaking a word.”

So what exactly will these face-painted, weapon-wielding, satin and fur-covered lovers of fantasy be doing at the MCM Expo on Saturday?

Aside from perusing comics and related merchandise, playing new video games, attending workshops and listening to talks, many will be taking part in the second EuroCosplay

Championships – a catwalk masquerade offering contestants the chance to be crowned European Champion. If you’re planning to visit the expo as a civilian, this is the crowning event you should not miss.

Even without the possible glory of winning the championship, there’s a competitive edge to cosplay and costumes are made to be flaunted. At an event like this weekend’s, players will be seriously checking each other out and someone in a good costume can expect to be photographed hundreds of times. Originality and creativity are highly valued, so turning up in a mail-order Batman outfit just won’t cut it.

“Cosplay isn’t elitist, but you won’t get same attention and adoration if you haven’t made your outfit,” says Dunlop.

“Some people spend months on their costume and they get a strong feeling of accomplishment from having 10,000 piers praising it.”

Rust epitomises cosplay’s DIY ethos. “I’ve made all my outfits,” she says. “I raid charity shops, car boot sales and markets; then it’s like putting together a puzzle. ››

Cosplay: anything goes TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Character-building: dress as a film icon or Japanese anime

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such as cosplayisland.com and Cosplay Fever’s Facebook group are buzzing with works in progress on which advice and encouragement are handed out with surprisingly little bitchiness.

“Need help making a Tardis headband,” a female user cries on cosplayerisland.com. “I've almost finished my Tardis dress, but now I've just realised I have no idea how I'm going to make the light on top!”

Cue a detailed response, complete with diagram of beantin, pipe-cleaners and glue. Other forum topics include,

“

Some of the costumes are undoubtedly hot

”

‘Armour help’, ‘Need to find characters with orange hair, ‘How to create fake wounds’ and ‘Spray paint and latex swords’. All of these are answered in a have-a-go style any Blue Peter presenter would be proud of.

Unsurprisingly, some cosplayers use their hobby to launch a career in a creative industry like special effects, photography or costume making. Maha, 20-something singer in rock band The Kut, from London, discovered the Harajuku scene on a trip to Japan and has, since then, woven together her passions for music and costume.

“I regularly go out to Japan with my band and every time I’m taken with the effort people put into cosplay. Back in London I organise events for the Cosplay and Harajuku Meetup group. There are always lots of photos, hanging out and music, and I love all those things,” she says. “Cosplay, like music, is about self-expression.”

For the majority, though, cosplay will never lead to a colourful job and, like most hobbies, is more likely to be a way of escaping a mundane one. Beats fishing? Get down to the expo this weekend and decide for yourself. ❚ London Comic Con MCM Expo. Oct 28-30. From £10 ExCel, Royal Victoria Dock, E16 1XL londonexpo.com Custom House

Photos: Cosplay Fever Red by Rob Dunlop & Peter Lumby, Nert/ManyLemons

“I spend six to 10 hours a day working on my costumes in sections, then put them together piece by piece. My favourites would either be a steampunk character I made called Excelda Gastra or Pale Man from the movie Pan's Labyrinth.”

Away from its Japanese anime roots, European cosplayers reference diverse influences and costume trends reflect the tidal changes of pop culture. “Zombies were big a year ago and Sucker Punch spawned lots of ‘girls kicking ass’ costumes,” Dunlop says. “There are staples like Batman and Harlequin and characters from Star Wars, Back To The Future and Alien will never die.”

It’s not always a case of simply recreating an outfit, however. “Cosplayers do a lot of interpreting when they’re making their costumes,” Dunlop says.

“I’ve seen a character from retro computer game Doom recreated in very blocky, pixellated way using boxes. At one event, people were dressed in black with coloured boards behind them, posing with iPods to recreate the adverts.”

Battle of ingenuity it may be, but ask any cosplayer what they love about it and “sense of community” will be up there at the top of their list. It’s a niche hobby, cool in its unrepentant geekiness, and in this is fellowship.

“It is a fantastic moment when you’re walking around in cosplay and you spot a character from the same anime as you. Instantly you know that this stranger, in this costume, has something in common with you and it is probably the easiest way to make friends,” Jenny Brundle says.

Some of the costumes, especially those worn by women, are undoubtedly hot. Brundle, 20, admits to keeping her hair long and staying slim especially to look the part of midriffbaring anime character Winry Rockbell from Fullmetal Alchemist. So is there a sexual side to all this dressing up?

Is the expo really just some giant, rather tame, fetish ball?

Cosplayers say no. “It’s no more sexual that real life,” Dunlop says. “Some girls wear risqué costumes, some don’t. What cosplayers are attracted to is the social aspect.”

This community extends beyond any organised event and thrives year-round on internet forums where cosplayers chat, plan costumes and share tips.

Social networking has played a huge part in the growth of the scene and in the run-up to the MCM Expo, websites

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A SEVEN–DAY CHAMONIX FRANCE SKI TOUR TNT and Travel Talk are teaming up again to give one lucky reader a seven–day Chamonix France Ski tour for one person, worth £689.

The foot of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, through its history and sporting events, has become the world capital of skiing and mountaineering.

Here, the southern pistes rub shoulders with glaciers and you’ll find the highest cable cars and greatest differences in altitude in France.

Making it all the way up to 3842m altitude in order to take a photo is an

easy and majestic experience. At the resort, the famous Chamonix bars, the casinos, all kinds of shops and services, movie theatre, discos and restaurants. Tour includes six nights’ accommodation, breakfast, lunches, dinners and snacks, full-time ski instruction, ski equipment rental and six-and-a-half-day ski pass.

Let Travel Talk will take you on a pilgrimage of adventure, fun and relaxation.

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Wretch 32 The chart-storming hip hop artist on the riots in his home borough of Tottenham and why Jessie J deserved to clean up at the Mobos INTERVIEW ALISON GRINTER

Your real name is Jermaine Scott, so where does Wretch 32 come from?

It’s always been a nickname, a tag-name that everyone called me. Wretch is just how I am as a person. I was pretty naughty when I was growing up.

Jermaine Scott: not as catchy as Wretch 32

Why is it pronounced “Wretch threetwo” instead of Wretch 32?

It’s like a play on words like “three-two” equals, “I’m ‘free to’ do as I please, ‘free to’ live my life”.

Bad luck on missing out at the Mobos.

Some critics say Jessie J shouldn’t even have been nominated because she’s not black. What do you think?

Jessie J deserved to be nominated – when she’s coming out with a song like Do It Like A Dude, the type of song Rihanna could have sung: that’s definitely the music of black origin, so I don’t really have nothing against it. I’ve heard people say stuff but I think she deserves it.

British urban music has exploded in recent years. Are you happy that grime has finally translated into something that can reach a bigger audience?

We’ve all been down there working away in the underground for so long, it’s good to get to the next level and really raise the bar. It’s been a long time coming but I also think we’ve still got a long way to go. I don’t think we’re anywhere near our peak yet.

How will you know when it’s peaked?

When it gets a lot bigger, when all the urban rappers are doing arena tours like Dizzee Rascal and Tinie Tempah. When we get to that level, then we can take it worldwide.

Do you think the US will appreciate British hip hop?

Yeah, I think they’re gonna have to because we’re going to be like, “If you’re not gonna mess with us here then we’re not gonna mess with you there”. They need to work with us. Jay Z’s new artist J Cole is opening up for Tinie Tempah and that’s a massive move for him because he hasn’t sold a single record here yet. Jay-Z’s having to work with us so hopefully in America we’ll get that love back.

You’re playing Koko, which is tiny. Why aren’t you playing a bigger venue?

I really wanted to do that venue. I think it’s nice to go in stages. We probably could have gone straight for Shepherd’s Bush [Empire] but this is a natural progression. I don’t want to skip out any stages – I’ve got a long way to go.

Given you’re a Tottenham boy born and bred, it was ironic your song Don’t Go went to number one when the riots were raging there. What did you make of that?

Personally, it’s more about what people are going to do to ensure this sort of thing doesn’t happen again – like everyone doing what they can for their community. I’m really focused about what people do now rather than what has happened. But yeah, it was interesting the riots happened at the same time my song went to number one: that something crazy and something good could come out of the same place at the same time.

Your video for Unorthodox paints Tottenham in a positive light which is very different to most people’s views of it, especially since the riots.

That video was shot in one of the worst estates in Tottenham. If you sent some news reporters

down there I’m sure they wouldn’t come back with something looking as nice as that. But someone has to show the positive side of it.

You’ve worked a lot with Example.

Is he as cool as he thinks he is?

[Laughs] Yeah, he’s pretty cool, man! One thing people don’t know about Example is that he works really hard and that he’s really focused.

Something the general public is probably unaware of is just how much money he spends on his show. He’s just has so much passion.

He’s always pushing it and just wants to get better. He could be making more money and just getting rich, you know?

Traktor is a great song – even Liam Gallagher bigged it up.

I thought that was pretty cool, man. You know, you must be doing something right when someone outside your genre likes your music.

Have you ever driven a tractor?

Yeah, once. They had me do it on Soccer AM. I didn’t particularly like it – it wasn’t as fast as my car.

Playing at Koko, Fri, Oct 28. £25 1a Camden High St, NW1 7JE koko.uk.com Mornington Crescent New single Forgiveness feat Etta Bond out on Nov 11

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THE IDES OF MARCH FILM review by Alison Grinter STARRING: George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Philip Seymour Hoffman | 15 | 101mins

THE HELP FILM STARRING: Emma Stone, Viola Davis Octavia Spencer | 12A | 146mins

Set against the backdrop of the civil rights movement in the early Sixties, The Help tells of the story of an aspiring author (Emma Stone) who decides to write a book detailing the African American maid’s experience of working for white families in the Deep South. Based on the Kathryn Stockett novel of the same name, it’s drawn fire for shying away from the more incendiary aspects of that era but has been praised for stellar performances.

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Anyone who thought Aaron Sorkin’s seven-season chronicle of an imaginary liberal presidency in The West Wing was too idealistic and rose-tinted a view of American politics will eat The Ides Of March right up.

The film, co-written and directed by George Clooney (the screenplay was adapted from Beau Willimon’s 2008 play Farragut North) and starring the heartthrob himself as a Democratic presidential nominee, is a deeply cynical look at the wheeling and dealing that goes on behind the scenes of the self-proclaimed “greatest democracy in the world”. It’s too cynical, in fact, making you question, by the end of the film, if American politics has any redeeming features at all.

Ryan Gosling (sick of him yet?) plays the idealistic young campaigner working for Clooney’ slick operator. He’s about to get his heart and ideals shattered when a crisis on the campaign trail forces him to take a crash course in dirty politics.

The film is tightly plotted, beautifully acted and contains some truly heartstopping moments of drama but maybe Sorkin should have been parachuted in to help out with the dialogue which is tin-ear awful and cliched (the loyalty speech delivered by Philip Seymour Hoffman’s senior campaigner is particularly dreadful). All told, it’s an enjoyable film but the overall message that your political heroes will eventually let you down is too pat and simplistic. In a recent interview, Clooney was adamant he will never enter politics. If this is his view of the process, then perhaps he should steer well clear.

GOOD FOR: Anyone who thought The West Wing was too much of a liberal wet dream.

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GIVE US A

THE PUB LANDLORD: BARREL OF FUN EXTRA

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

From his unashamed jingoism to his aversion to white wine (it’s “for the ladies”) and the French, Al Murray’s comic character The Pub Landlord still stands up 15 years on from his debut. The cheeky Little Englander is back for yet another extension of his Barrel Of Fun tour to ply his inimitable bar room banter and cod philosophy.

Richmond Theatre The Green, TW9 1QJ, Sun Oct 30. £29.50 Richmond atgtickets.com

Ha ha!

SOVIET ART AND ARCHITECTURE 1915-35

COOL HAND LUKE

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

Before deathly dull state-sponsored Socialist Realism took over in the late Thirties, Soviet art was a thing of innovation and beauty. Fired by post-revolutionary optimism, Russia’s avant garde movement reached its creative peak from 1915 to 1935 with constructivist art inspiring architects to create cutting-edge structures.

Marc Warren puts in a decent performance as the defiantly imprisoned WWII veteran. But neither his attempts to escape nor the clash of wills with Richard Brake’s sadistically menacing guard justify Emma Reeves’ bitty and ultimately unnecessary stage adaptation of the novel which spawned the 1967 Paul Newman film. LK

Royal Academy of Arts Piccadilly, W1J 0BD. Oct 29-Jan 22. £9. royalacademy.org.uk Piccadilly Circus

Aldwych Aldwych, WC2B 4DF. Until Jan 7. £15-£45. coolhandluke.co.uk Covent Garden

STEVE-O Give us an ‘elevator pitch’ for your Entirely Too Much Information show My show is all about raunchy comedy and crazy tricks. If you like Jackass, you’ll have a great time.

How do you deal with hecklers?

It depends. I don’t like to be very mean to people, but sometimes they force me to. Some people need to be kicked out of the venue, others need to be kicked in the balls, but most clam up with a little speaking to.

Photos: Carol Rosegg

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Watching Jersey Shore on MTV. Of course, I don’t feel terribly guilty about it, that show rules.

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN

DRIVING MISS DAISY

FILM

THEATRE

STARRING: Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis and Daniel Craig | U | 107mins

There’s no disguising the fact Alfred Uhry’s 1987 hit has never been much of a play, but this imported Broadway revival is worth seeing for Vanessa Redgrave’s superb performance in the title role and James Earl Jones as her dignified black chauffeur, Hoke. As a showcase for these actors’ talents, this vehicle has wheels. LK

In Steven Spielberg’s big-budget Hollywood interpretation of Tintin’s adventures, the boy reporter is transported from his comic book realm to the 21st-century world of 3D stopmotion animation. Jamie Bell plays the titular hero on a hunt for treasure on a sunken ship.

On general release

Wyndhams Charing Cross Rd. Until Dec 17. £10-£58.50 daisywestend.com Leicester Square

Who would you go a bit gay for?

I’ve already gone quite gay with [fellow Jackass member] Chris Pontius. But that was for work. It’s not gay if you’re getting paid.

Have you ever been attacked by an animal? Pontius and I used to keep a list of different animals that broke our skin, and our list was quite impressive!

Electric Ballroom, 184 Camden High St, NW1 8QP. Mon, Oct 31. £17.50. kililive.com

Camden Town

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29

SPARETIME

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Gary Numan: Dead Son Rising

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Batman: Arkham City Playstation 3

Be ready to encounter the murderous villains of the Batman universe. £54.99 blockbuster.co.uk

CD

An atmospheric studio album for lovers of Numan’s previous b-side experiments. £7.99 amazon.co.uk

Cradle of Rome 2 Tom Waits: Bad As Me

Nintendo DS

Rebuild Rome into a flourishing empire through 100 levels of games. £17.99 amazon.co.uk

CD

The gifted songwriter offers new material with everything from gospel to cinematic soundscapes. £14.93 amazon.co.uk

Sleep Cycle Alarm Clock app

Benjamin Daniels: Confessions Of A GP

Prone to a bad sleep? This app monitors your tosses and turns then wakes you up in your lightest phase. £0.69 itunes.apple.com

Book

And you thought you had issues. Wait ‘til you read these witty insights from a family doctor. £6.38 whsmith.co.uk

textPlus iPad app

Slash the cost of your bills and send texts anywhere in the world for free.

Free itunes.apple.com

Short And Sweet: Dan Lepard Kindle book

Create yummy no-sweat treats using the advice of a baking guru. £12.99 amazon.co.uk

Carmen Woods iCase Phone case

Why should fashion stop at clothes? This striking leather phone case is hot. £39.00

Rio DVD

carmenwoods.com

Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway and Jessie Eisenberg star in this animated animal adventure. £9.97 amazon.co.uk

Colour phasing stars umbrella Umbrella

Keep dry and twinkle. £24.99 iwantoneofthose.com

The Conspirator DVD

30

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App of the Week Halloween Deluxe iPhone app

With a Halloween countdown, horrific sound effects, costume ideas, trivia and wallpaper images, try not to get in the mood for Oct 31. £0.99 itunes.apple.com

Photos: amazon.co.uk, iTunes

James McAvoy stars in the true story about the manhunt for Abraham Lincoln’s killer. £7.99 amazon.co.uk

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Burlesque corset bustle jacket Rock the goth look with this gorgeous satin and lace showstopper.

Men’s skinny jeans The stripe details will make you a cut above the rest

Sheer panel leotard Why not bring out the cheeky minx in you?

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MARKETWATCH LAZY OAF CHRISTMAS POP-UP BONANZA As much as you refuse to believe it, Christmas is upon us, and if you don’t want to be one of those shoppers wading through a swamp of frenzied gift-hunters come December, then it’s probably time to start thinking about filling festive stockings. If you’ve got friends or family who are hard to buy for – and have a sense of humour – stop by east London label Lazy Oaf’s Christmas pop-up shop.

The brand is characterised by its bright clothing – especially knitwear – accessories and stationery, decorated with wacky pop graphics (there’s a particular penchant for burgers and eyeballs) and print illustrations.

Expect to find specially discounted goods, including homewares, and other off-thewall stuff in a rainbow of colours.

The Pacman cookie cutters are our favourite. Don’t forget to treat yourself while you’re there.

OPEN Fri, Nov 25–Sun, Nov 27 trumanbrewery.com; lazyoaf.co.uk Old Truman Brewery, Shop 25, Hanbury Street, 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL Aldgate East

Glam goth

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Silver freeze drop earrings Frighteningly cool, especially with a backdrop of black, red or purple.

Night Crawler skinny jeans Team with feather or lace for a killer goth ensemble

kitheath.com

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Red silk dress Simple and sexy to accessorise with leather and lace. Now we’re talking. littlewoods.co.uk

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Lace collar Cute, yet vampish all in one little neck trimming. Do it. rokit.co.uk

Skull cufflinks These crystal-encrusted skulls will add a blinging goth edge to a shirt and tie. ernestjones.co.uk

Platform peeptoe wedges Be sure to paint your toenails blood red. asos.co.uk

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33

LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

BOOIAKA First there was Zumba, and now another style of dance with a funny name is drawing in hoards of gym-goers looking for an excuse to hip-swivel and body roll in the name of fitness.

Indeed, if you had feasted your eyes on the heavenly physique of Tatiana Tamai, who founded the Booiaka movement, it’s only natural that you’d make a beeline to the next class, too.

Booiaka is an intense cardio dance workout that promises to whip you into shape – you’ll end up feeling as though you’ve spent the night dancing away with friends at your favourite club to your favourite tunes – which is no bad thing.

For the unashamedly divaesque among you, the concept incorporates elements of many different dance styles, such as Latin, Brazilian, Jamaican, hip-hop and Reggaeton.

The emphasis is on having fun, but don’t be fooled – it is no walk in the park. Expect to be puffing and panting by the end of a 45 minute class, in which you can burn 500 calories.

That’s 500 calories burnt looking sexy, thought. Certainly, there are worse ways.

Over-indulged on beer and barbecues this summer? Get back in shape for the slopes...

WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

Rocking up in Morzine having done no exercise in the past year is fine if you’re only there for the apres ski. But if you’re planning on hitting the slopes, you need to get in shape before you get on the plane.

Pre-ski and snowboard classes focus on your quads, hamstrings and calves, plus your lower back and core to make sure you don’t injure anything through lack of strength or limited flexibility. Hit up one of these classes to help you prepare.

Pre-snow yoga, Angel WHAT IS IT? A series of yoga stretches to build leg and thigh strength, lengthen hamstrings and work the core muscles, which keep you strong when making parallel turns.

WHY IT WORKS It engages the muscles you don’t use in your day-to-day life and also teaches you exercises you can do to stretch and soothe your muscles before and after your sessions on the white stuff.

VERDICT It’s great to learn exercises to help

No pain: get fit to make the most of the slopes

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@tntmagazine

Avant ski

Various Gym Box gyms gymbox.co.uk

34

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you warm up and down when you get there.

The yoga is intense but also rather relaxing.

Claremont, 24-27 White Lion Street, N1 9PD; 90-minute workshop on Jan 21; £15 stretchingthecity.com.

Power Plate Ski, Selfridges WHAT IS IT? An ache-inducing lesson in ski posture and strength involving a series of exercises on the almighty vibrating platform known as the Power Plate. Sessions focus on your lower body, including the front of your thighs and bum, plus your core and triceps.

WHY IT WORKS Not only is there plenty of squatting involved, and generally being in the skiing position, but the vibrations from the Power Plate force your muscles to work much harder than normal.

VERDICT A good strong work out, exactly where you need it.

Selfridges Power Plate Studio, 4th Floor, 400 Oxford Street, W1U 1AT; 25 minutes; £20 Selfridges.com

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LOOKING GOOD

Algae hair mask Soften locks with the green stuff £12.76 aubreyorganicsuk.co.uk

On piste: make sure you’re fully fit for fun in the snow

VO5 Men’s hair clipper Save time and trim your own do £34.99 tesco.com

Prepare to ski clinic, Wimbledon

Cool Board, for home use

WHAT IS IT? Sessions on mats and sculpting machines build your core stability and get you fit in the right places to either rehabilitate a previous injury or to prevent you from getting a new one.

WHY IT WORKS It’s run by a chartered physiotherapist who chooses the best programme for you, whether that’s in a class or a one-to-one session.

VERDICT Pilates keeps you strong and supple, plus the reformer machines stop you from slacking. You’ll be ski-ready in no time.

Wimbledon Pilates Studio, 1 Thornton Road, SW19 4NB; 55 minutes; from £18 per session wimbledon.pilatesart.com

WHAT IS IT? An instability board to exercise on that helps balance, strength and power.

Download ski and snowboard workouts from the Cool Board website.

WHY IT WORKS You can’t be lazy like you can with some floor-based exercises because you have to work hard to stay standing.

VERDICT Being able to use it at home is good, but you need to be patient as it takes a while to get your balance before you start doing the exercises.

NEXT WEEK 20-25 min per day; £97.99 TNT gets hypnotised coolboard.co.uk

Pink folding travel hairdryer An essential for hostelling £9.99 superdrug.com

Photos: Thinkstock

TOP TREATMENT: AIRBRUSH BODY TATTOOS If you’ve ever wanted a tattoo, but you are too chicken to do the deed, a less permanent, and certainly less painful option is to get one airbrushed on. Filthy Gorgeous has a host of templated designs – plus there’s a freehand option – which can be applied in up to three colours and lasts about three days. Great for a special occasion, or just a bit of cheeky fun. From £10.00

Make your mark

Debenhams, 334-348 Oxford Street, W1C 1JG filthygorgeouslondon.com

Oxford Circus

Toni & Guy sea salt spray Hair texture that smells of sea air £7.10 boots.com

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35

LIFESTYLECAREERS

Rising to the challenge: Roger Skedd, aka the naked butler

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Night owl: bar work makes a good second job

Money in a second If you’re cut out, working two jobs can be richly rewarding WORDS REBECCA KENT

Wearing little more than a dicky bow and an apron to save his blushes, the British athlete Roger Skedd has revealed that he moonlights as a naked butler to make ends meet.

His predicament will have resonated with almost 100,000 people in the UK who have also sought a second income. Whether for the money, or just the love of it, here are some things to consider when taking on a second job.

Gold medal effort As an Olympic decathlon champion, Skedd, 28, has experienced his fair share of adoration from fans. But by night, he swaps his training vest and running shoes for a pinny, and the attention he gets is on a different scale altogether. As a naked butler, Skedd 36

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

attends anything from boozy hen nights to gay parties for extra money.

“It’s a bit of a crazy job and it’s not the sort of thing I would choose to do, but it pays decent money and allows me to keep training, which is what I’m passionate about,” he said about his second job back in July.

Get motivated If you plan on working two jobs at the same time, you need to have an end goal in mind to see you through the tough times when you’re shattered and want to go home and put your feet up.

Laura Iorfino, 31, had a career as an executive assistant at Barclays.

However, she needed to earn extra pennies to travel around Europe.

So, most nights of the week, Iorfino,

would head to the Shepherd’s Bush Walkabout where she worked as a bartender. “I would literally schedule myself just enough time between jobs to get changed and run to the next job,” says Iorfino, who has since returned to her native Australia.

“Once you’re on the go, it’s easy. It’s when you slow down that everything catches up with you.

“I was always saving to go on a big trip somewhere and one job just didn’t cut it. Also, there was the social aspect.

I spent so much time at the Walkabout anyway, I thought why not work there and make money at the same time?”

The hard work paid off. Iorfino saved enough to pay off a car loan, travel around Europe for two months and to fly back to Australia a few times.

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ON THE JOB BEN MCDONALD Social care: it’s just one option

Office by day: by night, who knows?

Photos: Thinkstock, TNT

Make it legal

FIVE TOP SECOND JOBS any potential conflicts, make sure you are up to For many of us, our day Medical transcriber: transcribe the physical challenge. job takes up enough doctors’ audio recordings into “There is no of our waking hours, readable reports. but if a second income Telemarketing: If you enjoy a chat question working two jobs will take has become a necessity and can deal with the odd grumpy – whether to maintain customer, do this job in the evening, a toll on you, so monitor your work-life a standard of living or Social care work: Help out some balance, because if you to achieve a particular vulnerable people on weekends. overstretch, then you’re goal – check your Virtual assistant: do research for not useful to anyone,” employment contract a project or organise someone’s Willmott says. first as many firms have diary from the comfort of home.

It’s also wise to set clauses that set out Retail: With Christmas almost upon goals. When you meet rules for extra work. us, shops are advertising now for them, the grind will feel For example, it may seasonsal staff. more worthwhile. And outline the hours and See: totaljobs.com, bestadminjobs. your motivation doesn’t locations you have to co.uk, communitycare.co.uk. need to be cash-related. be available to work, justlondonjobs.co.uk Often second-jobbers which could limit your want to learn new skills ability to take on other to broaden their horizons. roles. There is also an implied duty of “mutual trust and confidence” The taxman which could scupper your attempts.

Ben Willmott, head of public Keep in mind that after the taxman has policy at the Chartered Institute of had his share of your extra cash, you Personnel, says: “You can’t take up might go home with less money than a second job that might bring your you’d hoped. employer into disrepute, or put you Pay as you earn (PAYE) is designed in a position where you would be around you holding down one breaching confidentiality of company job, so your tax-free information,” he explains. allowance (£7,475 NEXT WEEK “Working for a competitor, for a year) won’t example, might do that. So if there’s apply to your The most macabre any ambiguity you should check with second job. See careers. Scary stuff your employers.” Once you’ve cleared visit hmrc.gov.uk

CAREER Health & fitness lecturer/TV presenter AGE 34 LIVES London FROM Leeds How did you get into your line of work?

After competing in a wide array of sports from fencing and lacrosse, to board diving and boxing, I decided to make my passion my job. I went into personal training, then started lecturing for Premier three years ago, then designed and wrote its Powerclub training course. I also write for Men’s Fitness, Train Hard Fight Easy and Ultrafit and have appeared on Active Channel and the Trisha Goddard Show.

What do you do day-to-day?

Lecturing, doing paperwork, or working on a course or PR job.

The best part of your job Showing people what can be achieved with hard work.

What’s the most challenging?

Paperwork and organisation. I’m highly motivated and passionate, but I need to really keep on top of it. benmcdonaldpt.co.uk

HOW TO ... RESIGN

FROM YOUR JOB

• Weigh up all the options before you resign. If you’re leaving because of a personality clash, a transfer might be available.

• When doing the deed, face-

to-face is best. Make an appointment to see your boss and hand over your letter, which should be brief and state the date you’re leaving.

• During your notice period,

hand projects over to your colleagues and advise your contacts who is taking over your position.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

37

Worldwide Sales Representative Full time position – Woking, Surrey, £35k OTE

The job….

Lastminute.com is one of the leading European online travel and Leisure retailers and with innovative and exciting ways of delivering fantastic prices to our loyal customers; we aim to stay that way! Here at lastminute.com we are always looking for new talent to drive our business forward and right now we are looking for great Sales Representatives who are looking to join a major brand in the online Travel and Leisure industry.

With our Woking office being only a short walking distance from the train station, M3 and close to the town centre we are ideally located for all experienced Sales Representatives that are enthusiastic to meet or exceed monthly sales targets in a fast paced, friendly team.

You… • Detailed worldwide destination and tailor made sales knowledge is what we love in our Sales Representatives here at lastminute.com.

• Previous experience of working in a sales environment, where targets are always being met and exceeded!

• CRS/GDS experience.

• Since there is a lot of talking involved in this position, strong communication skills and excellent customer service experience is essential, so that our customers are always happy.

• Well travelled employees fit in well here.

We offer…..

• A competitive commission scheme • Learning & development opportunities

Interested?......

Excited by the prospect of working for lastminute.com? If so, Please send your CV along with a covering letter quoting ‘Sales Representative TNT Magazine’ to beth.jones@lastminute.com or ashleigh.lake@lastminute.com

tntjobs.co.uk WYNDHAM HOUSE BUTCHERS T: 020 7352 7888

JOB OF THE WEEK: Xxxxxxxxxxxx Experienced Butcher Xxxxxxx London Salary: Xxxxxxxxx Location: Chelsea, Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Salary: Depends on experience

Small chain modern butchers in central and west London

We need motivated,| Email fun & experienced people to join our team! Coaches required Name | Number in Chiswick, Putney, Dulwich, Clapham Common, Wimbledon, Twickenham and at selected schools and rugby clubs. CRB required. First aid beneficial.

Tel Shop 0207 352 7888 PAUL OR LEE

3D Couriers www.3dcouriers.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Telephonist for a Courier Company Location: London Salary: £16k to £20k pa + benefits

3d Couriers are a privately owned, specialist courier company offering Same Day Courier Pushbikes, Motorbikes, Small Vans, Transits, Next Day Courier, International Courier, and Specialist Services on a 24/7 basis.

Previous call centre experience is not essential but desirable, and full training will be given. You will need to answer inbound calls and redirect where needed. Whilst knowledge of London is an advantage, it is not a necessity. You will be expected to deal with queries that may arise in the course of achieving the collection and delivery of couriered items. You must also be fluent in English. info@3dcouriers.co.uk

THE MAGNOLIA ROOM T: 020 8785 1891 www.themagnoliaroom.co.uk The Magnolia Room is a busy salon based in Putney offering both traditional beauty treatments and advanced machine based therapies.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Junior Therapist/Receptionist Location: Putney Salary: Basic plus commission This is a full time position. You will be selling treatments and products, as well as delivering quality treatments and services. Elemis, Guinot or Dermalogica training is an advantage, but not essential.

Elaine Smith or Sonya da Silva | 020 8785 1891 | info@themagnoliaroom.co.uk

Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY 38

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CASH-SAVING TIPS CHEAP AUTUMN EATS Xxxxxxxxx If the depressing thought of winter approaching XXXXXXXXX makes you want to Xxxxxxxxxxx stuff your face, then at least do it affordably.

XXXXXXXXX Discountvouchers.co.uk Xxxxxxxxxxx has just released new deals for Prezzo – buy XXXXXXXXX two courses and a drink Xxxxxxxxxxx for £11.95; Pizza Hut, where you can eat as XXXXXXXXX much pizza as you like Xxxxxxxxxxx for £5; and Burger King, offering two-for-one on burgers. Yum. EARLYBIRDS REWARDED If you’re entertaining the thought of a UK road trip next summer, reserve a hire car now to avoid paying inflated prices in the run-up to the Olympics. Delay booking and options, such as sat navs, will shrink, too, warns carrentals.co.uk.

HOW YOU SPEND IT! beef jerky. Alternatively, steal from clothing bins and sell the clothing to second hand stores at Camden Markets.

Last big blow-out?

Importing a box of NZ Marmite (invoking the fury of Vegemite eating friends).

PATRICK CREASEY, 31 JOB Teacher FROM Newcastle, Australia LIVES Chalk Farm How do you budget?

Badly. Thank god for monthly overdraft increases

Photos: Getty

Any money-saving tips?

Give up alcohol, lock yourself in your room with an Xbox and a three-day supply of water, fruit and

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Deals on wheels It might have been 127 years old, but a steam-powered car still managed to fetch £2.9m from a collector at a US auction. Money seems to be no object for car-lovers ...

❚ A 1936 Alfa Romeo once owned by Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, sold at auction for £550,000 in 2008 – a record for the 6C 2300 Pescara Spyder.

AN APP FOR SPENDTHRIFTS Reckless shoppers can help curb their costly impulses by downloading the app iXpenseIt (£4.99, itunes. apple.com). Among a host of other services, it tots up and summarises your expenses so you can see the error of your ways.

BOLIVIA /72 GET SKI FIT /34

and interest-free credit card balance transfers.

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Cottage chicken and buying things such as bagpipes from eBay that require a 50-page booklet of assembly instructions. My obsession with buying magnets while travelling is also becoming somewhat expensive.

Mussolini’s Alfa Romeo

❚ One of only six 1931 Bugatti Royales – one of the most opulent cars in the world, and with an engine built for an aircraft – sold at a Christies auction in London in 1987 for £4.7m.

❚ A 1937 Mercedes-Benz 540K Special Roadster, which was once the property of Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone, fetched no less than £3.9m in London in 2007. ❚ A 1935 Duesenberg SJ Speedster, which reached 135mph over 24 hours in a land speed endeavour at the Bonneville Salt Flats in the US, sold for £2.5m in 2004.

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

0870-898 8996 tntforex.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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STYLE .95 £29

Renting from a nutter

London Bridge picture Take a bit of the Tube inside dotcomgiftshop.com

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How to stand your ground in the face of a nightmare landlord

‘And then she had the locks changed!’

WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

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When his incredibly nutty alcoholic landlady changed the locks while he was on holiday, Matt Williamson had to call the police to get back inside. But by this point, what she did didn’t surprise him.

Through six years of lodging with the 62-year-old former Chelsea party girl in her King’s Road house, the 36-year-old business development manager was used to her more than eccentric habits. Telling him off, acting up in front of his friends and leaving passiveaggressive notes were all part of life in the house, which he stayed in because of the low rent and sweet location.

“Sometimes she’ll write a note saying ‘Matt, you switch the light switches on too loudly’,” Williamson says. “She’s quite amusing. I might wake up on a Monday, walk down the stairs and see a note that says ‘Matt, you are a massive wanker’. I would love to release a book.”

But despite being funny, Williamson’s landlady was erratic. She would demand furniture back from his room whenever she wanted and once threw his sleeping friend out of the house at 3am.

And then there’s the lock-changing incident that happened when the pair fell out over DIY. “She was that pissed off with me that she actually changed the locks,” Williamson says. “I had to get the police and a locksmith out. I had to use my driving licence to prove I lived there.”

WIlliamson’s case is far worse because he lived with his landlady, but things can be just as bad when landlords aren’t there. Even

though she had full front-door access to her “fully furnished and renovated” houseshare in Tuffnell Park, PR Alexandra Thompson, 27, found there was hardly any furniture when she moved in. Or carpets, or a fridge. And the builder lived there there for the first week of her tenancy.

“When we complained, we were assured that it would be sorted ASAP and that our rooms were habitable,” Thompson says. “But it depends what you think is habitable. Half the rooms weren’t complete for months and I didn’t get any discount in rent. I didn’t stay there long!”

But you don’t have to choose between sucking it up or moving out. Matt

Hutchinson, the director of spareroom.com, sees plenty of issues between tenants and landlords. He says it’s best to deal with all the formalities early on. Sign your contract

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BAD TENANTS Cannabis factories and severe damage – sometimes it’s the other way round. Landlord Action supports landlords with difficult tenants. Here are their worst tales.

One man didn’t pay his rent from the start, despite having an Aston Martin and a Mercedes. He then used his Putney Wharf penthouse to house his mistress.

Photos: Thinkstock

Despite believing a tenant was legit and checking her references, a landlord had to pay £30,000 after his property was transformed into a cannabis farm and factory. before you move in and make sure you know your deposit will be protected before you pay it.

“All problems would be lessened by anticipating them first. The more things people moving into new properties get straight the better,” Hutchinson says.

But what if it’s too late? “Try to talk to the landlord about what you’re not happy with first, and keep a note of the correspondence you’ve had. If it does get to the point of legal action, you can show you’ve done all you can,” he adds.

Hutschinson believes treating a landlord reasonably will get the best response.

“But if a landlord changes your locks, I wouldn’t hesitate to go straight to the police,” he says.

Before you get the authorities involved, there are other routes. “Some councils have mediation services who will work with landlords and tenants to resolve problems.

It’s worth giving yours a call to see if they offer one too,” Hutschinson says.

But even if you didn’t sign a tenancy agreement, or you signed a contract that goes against the law, you can still dispute a landlord’s behaviour. Housing charity Shelter advises: “Landlords and tenants have certain rights and responsibilities – even if they’re not mentioned in the tenancy agreement. Your tenancy agreement cannot take any of these rights away, regardless of what it says. If a landlord tries to take away your legal rights, they may be guilty of harassment or illegal eviction.”

A woman let a house in Barnet to a man who painted odd cupboard doors, took down radiators and ripped out a sink. He then proceeded to dump her furniture in the garden to rot. Charming.

“ Every SEARCH Begins With...”

www.snspropertyzone.com SNS property zone is one of the upcoming leading property websites in the UK and has become an essential resource for buyers, sellers, owners and agents alike.

Our property portal provide details of homes listed for sale/to rent by agents and a resource providing information about current homes values, sold house prices, local statistics and more...

The information and services we offer are completely FREE to the general public.

One landlord discovered a tenant had set up 18 sets of bunk beds in his two-bedroom flat in Victoria, and that a website in China was offering students visiting London a bed for £20 per night.

USEFUL SITES SOUND ADVICE ON YOUR RIGHTS AND EVERYTHING HOUSING RELATED

shelter.org.uk FREE MEDIATION BETWEEN LANDLORDS AND TENANTS

housingmediation.org TENANT AND LANDLORD RIGHTS

primelocation.com

So don’t wait, grab this opportunity and FIND YOUR DREAM HOUSE/ APARTMENT.

TENANCY AGREEMENT INFORMATION

t. 020 8963 9876 & 020 8963 1329 e. info@snspropertyzone.com London Head Office: Unit 34 & 39, Unimix House, Business Centre, Abbey Rd, London NW10 7TR

HOW TO RESOLVE DISPUTES

tenancyagreement service.co.uk AND AVOID GOING TO COURT

direct.gov.uk/en/ homeandcommunity

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WORLDVIEW

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Duelling: more effective than grounding

DAUGHTER DUELS UNTIL SHE LEARNS UNITED STATES A 38-year-old man was arrested after allegedly forcing his 16-year-old daughter to participate in a mock medieval sword battle for two hours as punishment for disobedience.

Freemon Seay fought with the teenager after she went out without her parents’ approval. After picking her up and taking her home, Seay gave her armour, a helmet and a wooden sword and proceeded to fight her for two hours – between 2am and 4am on a Sunday morning – until she collapsed from exhaustion.

Seay reportedly told officers he was a “renaissance fighter” and that, because his daughter was 16, he had the right to fight her with a wooden sword.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @jimmycarr 20th Oct 1973 The Sydney Opera House opens. How pointless is an Opera House in Oz. Its like putting a working toilet in Dale Farm. @ConanOBrien A publisher just asked me to write my autobiography, but they want it to be about Johnny Depp. @barneyronay @warne888 say no to gambling shane. Just walk out of the poker room. That’s not real “super excitement”. It is the lure of mammon

TRAY RACING ANNOYS LOCALS NEW ZEALND Auckland hoons have pioneered a new technique, known as ‘tray drifting’, which uses McDonald’s serving trays to reduce traction while driving their hotted-up cars.

The fast food outlet, in Pt Chevalier, has 42

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Shrine versus shrine: Parishioners pull their portable shrine during Nada No Kenka Matsuri, or Nada Fight Festival, in Hyogo, Japan. It is a bizarre spectacle, where groups of men in loincloths build wooden shrines, which they then bash against each other until one shrine is hoisted above the other and is declared the winner

applied to extend its opening hours, but residents have objected on the grounds that petrolheads already congregate in the area, before driving off to skid through its wide suburban streets.

Trays are lodged underneath car’s wheels to make drifting easier, a noisy practice widely observable on YouTube.

HOW MANY POINTS FOR STRIP-SEARCH? UNITED KINGDOM The World Scrabble Championship was engulfed by controversy when English contestant Ed Martin was accused of stealing a tile and threatened with a strip-search.

Martin’s Thai opponent accused him of pocketing a G-tile and wanted authorities to take him to the loo to retrieve it. The tile was missing but there was no evidence to support the Thai player’s allegation, so officials refused to conduct a search and Martin subsequetly went on to win the match.

But, ultimately, the championship was won by New Zealander Nigel Richards, who beat Australian Andrew Fisher in the final – the Kiwis will be bragging about that for the next year. Richards scored a cheeky 95 points with ‘omnified’ and pocketed the £12,700 winner’s prize.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 48

Hours a lorry remained stuck between two buildings in Somerset after being directed into a narrow alley by satnav

Quantum Levitation or just magic?

HOVERBOARD TRICK STIRS FANBOYS ISRAEL Remember the hoverboard from Back To The Future II? Well, it’s one step closer to becoming a reality after boffins at Tel Aviv University pioneered ‘Quantum Levitation’.

The breakthrough technology, also known as ‘quantum trapping’, relies on superconductors – specifically, a material called yttrium barium copper oxide – being held in place by supercooled magnets. This, in case you haven’t had your fill of science terms, is known as the Meissner Effect.

A video of the new technology spread quickly on social media, with one Twitter user remarking: “Thanks to Quantum Levitation all we have to do now is cover all the sidewalks with metal and we can finally live our hoverboard dreams!”

NOT AFRAID TO GET HIS HANDS DIRTY

Photos: Getty, ASTC

UNITED KINGDOM A man jailed in Northern Ireland was trying to convert his faeces into gold, but instead started a fire that caused £3000 of damage to his council home.

Paul Moran, 30, believed that, by placing his shit on a heater, it would turn into gold. Moran, who has no intellectual disability, admitted to a charge of arson and was sentenced to three months in jail.

“Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products,” the judge said phlegmatically.

“It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist’s dream, but wasn’t going to succeed.”

Wild animals – including lions, tigers and bears – that were released from an Ohio zoo by their disgruntled owner

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Age, in years, of Pocho, a 15ft crocodile, who died last week. Pocho became a celebrity in Costa Rica after being domesticated

Size of a slipper sent by post to a man in England after Hong Kong-based Monster Slippers misread his online order form

If life gives you lemons...

ELEPHANTIASIS CAN BE A REAL HANDFUL UNITED STATES A Las Vegas man with a medical condition that has caused his scrotum to swell to more than 45kg is trying to raise US$1m (£630,000) for surgery to correct it.

Wesley Warren Jr went public about his condition – scrotal elephantiasis – in the hope of raising enough cash to pay for the costly operation.

“It’s not easy to get around,” he told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “It makes me stay in most of the time.”

His condition is rarely seen outside tropical areas of Africa and Asia and is usually caused by a mosquito-spread infection. But Warren believes the condition is down to an accident in 2008, when he caught his testicles with his leg while twisting in bed. The next day Warren said his scrotum had grown to “the size of a soccer ball” and continued growing.

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1450

QUOTE OF THE WEEK I think the way it was portrayed on TV and who was responsible and the way it happened was not the way it happened.

It’s just not what they say it is X Factor winner Matt Cardle reckons 9/11 was an inside job. That settles it then

Book online and you’ll be in the Prize Draw to win an Olympus Camera

BEST DRESSED WINS 8 Day Exotic Egypt Tour for 1 person

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: CAROL DRIVER

Looking good: not-sofunnyman Ricky Gervais

carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

Why Ricky Gervais has lost his sense of humour

Photos: Twitter

Comedian went too far with Twitter jokes about ‘mongs’

Oh shut up Ricky Gervais. Just admit you cocked up by using the word ‘mong’ in an attempt to be funny that resulted in you falling flat on your fat face.

The comedian – that guy from The Office, remember him? – has pissed off disability charities (because it’s always worth a laugh to do that, right?) by tweeting phrases to his 440,000 Twitter followers including, “two mongs don’t make a right” and “good monging everyone”.

Wow. Hilarious stuff. Gags that will no doubt stand the test of time. Good work Rickster! Only, really, when you think about it, it’s not that funny. Having derived from how those with Down’s Syndrome used to be described, ‘mongoloid’ was shortened to the word ‘mong’, which went on to become a way to insult them.

Gervais argues the meaning has changed, and says that, in his defence, he’s never used it to mock a person with disabilities. Why not? If, as he insists, its definition is now so different, where’s the harm? What the funnyman doesn’t get is that while the word is more widely used, its roots are still firmly wedged in what it once meant. That’s why it’s an insult – because it was first used in an abusive manner. Just because the target has changed, doesn’t mean the word’s connotation has.

Along with his comments, Gervais published the above photo. Oooh ... right. So that’s the real definition of a mong is it?

I’m bored of so-called comedians who defend their right to use any material for gags.

Rape victims? Hilarious! Disabled people? So funny! Abortions? Stop it, you’re killing me!

“But I’m a comedian, darling, I’m allowed to be con-tro-ver-sial.” No, you’re too lazy to think up any decent material and need to ensure you hit the headlines by saying things you know will annoy people. If you’re a comedian, get back to what you’re supposed to be doing – being funny. » Agree or disagree? Is the word ‘mong’ offensive? letters@tntmagazine.com

OURVIEW

MY BIG FAT GYPSY EVICTION We all knew it was going to be a messy affair – after all, the can-we-can’t-we battle of Dale Farm has already rattled along for the past 10 years.

Activists tied to scaffolding, Travellers on top of telegraph poles and more police than were at the London riots. Welcome to the Big Fat Gypsy Eviction. Did I see Davina McCall in the crowd?

This whole debacle is going to cost taxpayers £20m – all to get a bunch of people off a disused scrapyard so it can serve the purpose of being ... a disused scrapyard. Instead of throwing the Gypsies out, the council should have given

“

Did I see Davina McCall in the crowd?

”

compensation to the few residents in the tiny village whose properties have dropped in value. It would have had £18m change.

The row is over planning permission.

But if timorous Basildon Council had acted back in the Nineties, it wouldn’t have got to this stage. Perhaps its leader, Tony Ball, should now be evicted as well.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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In for the long haul Like wildfire, the Occupy movement has spread from New York across the world WORDS TOM STURROCK

In the afternoon sunshine, amid the ad hoc tent city in the shadows of St Paul’s Cathedral, the general assembly begins.

For members of the Occupy London protest, this is the forum where decisions are made. Campaigners from different working parties, each responsible for running separate aspects of the site, take it in turns to make announcements, the crowd registering their approval with ‘silent clapping’, waving their hands in the air. The arrival of a policeman, wearing a hi-vis, neon yellow jacket, on centre-stage is accompanied by an unmistakable sign that this protest is unlike others – greeted, as he is, by a round of applause.

Politely, the officer warns the protesters about the dangers of disposing of food unsafely, before announcing donated wastebins are soon to arrive. There is also a gentle reminder urinating in public will incur an £80 fine, before, in closing, the officer declares he is “very happy with how the camp is being run”. Having said his piece, the policeman leaves the centre of the circle, receiving another round of applause, just as warm as the first.

Since the protesters set up camp at St Paul’s, not far from the London Stock Exchange, just over a week ago, drawing inspiration from the occupation of Wall Street in New York and finding an echo in as many as 900 cities worldwide, there has been no shortage of conjecture about the movement’s aims and the extent to which they can be achieved.

Propped up against one of the cathedral’s limestone walls is the protest’s mission statement. At its core is opposition to the government’s austerity measures, which the movement views as a perverse ‘solution’ to the global economic woes – one that spares the banks and their executives while squeezing sections of society least equipped to carry the can.

“We refuse to pay for the banks’ crisis,” the charter reads.

“We do not accept the cuts as either necessary or inevitable.

We demand an end to global tax injustice and our democracy representing corporations instead of the people.”

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The site is humming with activity as city workers on their lunchbreaks pass through to see what all the fuss is about; impromptu debate circles crop up on the pavement, whitecollar workers locked in conversation with those occupying the cathedral’s forecourt. One protester, George Barda, has attracted a captive audience, of about a dozen people, as he outlines the movement’s objectives.

“I agree with a lot of what you’re saying,” concedes one freshly scrubbed young City worker. “And the system isn’t perfect, but the way forward – well, it’s not this.”

“It’s difficult for Britain,” Barda nods. “We’ve put all our eggs in some rather dirty, unstable baskets.”

Barda, 35, is a Greenpeace employee and a lifelong Londoner – he grew up in Shepherd’s Bush. He is sleeping at St Paul’s, working intermittently and popping home for the occasional shower. “I’ll be here for as long as it takes – as long as the police aren’t threatening you, which they’re not, you can come and go,” Barda says. “And I’m trying to work enough to pay the bills while also being here. It’s a good atmosphere – it’s pretty inspiring.”

With his long hair and shaggy beard, Barda may look every inch the leftie protester from central casting – an identikit image that detractors of the movement are keen to promulgate at every turn. But if Barda looks the part, he is notably devoid of the visceral anger that has characterised some of the forerunners to the Occupy movement, such as the anti-globalisation riots that engulfed the meeting of the World Trade Organisation in Seattle in 1999. According to Barda, this more inclusive, almost conciliatory approach is crucial to gaining traction and resisting attempts to denigrate protesters as part of the lunatic fringe.

“It’s like that Gandhi quote: ‘First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win’,” Barda says. “It’s not about a return to angry socialism. I think the left needs to learn the lessons from when it became a bit too

Photos: Getty, TNT

Clockwise: Wikileaks boss Julian Assange addresses the crowd at St Paul’s; protesters in New York; George Barba (right) in London; a masked protester in Frankfurt

dogmatic. But there are some basic steps that we should be able to agree on, just because they’re sensible.”

It is on this point the London protest shares common cause with those around the world, particularly the one that has drawn thousands to New York’s financial district over the past month. Their agenda: opposition to public spending cuts; higher taxes on the rich; tighter regulation of the financial sector; reducing the gulf between the rich and the poor; and neutralising the influence of corporations on elected governments.

“There’s a huge overlap,” Barda says. “Governments are saying, ‘we have no money because we’ve had to bail out the financial sector’. That’s the shtick. That’s the excuse for the cuts and the austerity measures.

“We need a radical reform of the tax system. The economic situation that we’ve seen on both sides of the Atlantic – giving tax cuts to the rich and hoping they’ll do stuff with their money that we want them to do, that’s a recipe for failure. And it’s totally undemocratic to have so much wealth in the hands of so few.”

The aims of the Occupy movement are wide-ranging and seismic in their implications. Whether the groundswell of sympathy for their grievances translates into concrete policy prescriptions remains to be seen. But already, protesters like Barda have achieved something by simply having the conversation, by forcing concerns that were, for a generation, consigned to the margins on to a more prominent platform.

“Hopefully we can get people to identify with it because there’s a majority who don’t feel empowered at the moment,” Barda says. “That’s why we want to make this site welcoming – people should come and talk to us. We’re not a small fringe group – we are the 99 per cent.”

TOYTOWN TROTS? CRITICISM OF OCCUPIERS Unsurprisingly, the Occupy movement has attracted criticism from certain quarters, with some rightleaning commentators quick to dismiss protesters as the usual suspects of the ‘loonie left’.

“It was the usual gormless rent-a-mob,” conservative commentator Richard Littlejohn wrote in the Daily Mail. “Toytown Trots from Mickey Mouse universities, social workers, lecturers, full-time mature students and Swampy wannabes.”

Appearing on Sky News, Jonathan Isaby of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, which campaigns against tax hikes, said: “Capitalism is the system which, over the past century has, every generation, doubled people’s wealth.

We’ve got to be careful not to condemn that system.

“The people protesting would do more for the economy if they started working and doing something useful to get the wheels of the economy turning.”

» Do you support Occupy? letters@tntmagazine.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTNEWS

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Cooper comes a cropper

COOPER FACES KNEE RECONSTRUCTION RUGBY UNION Wallabies flyhalf Quade Cooper could target a return to fitness for the start of next year’s Super 15, the knee injury he suffered against Wales last week set to sideline him for several months.

“I suspect it’s a ruptured ACL,” coach Robbie Deans said. “He’s aware it’s a significant injury. But with technology these days, he will come back good to go.

“You actually end up with a stronger ACL post-operation these days than prior to. He will be back playing Super Rugby.

But obviously that whole experience and that adversity will challenge him.”

Cooper will miss Australia’s two-Test end-of-season tour, suggesting Berrick Barnes, man-of-the-match against the Welsh, will call the shots on the tour.

MANLY BOSS KEEN ON DUBAI EXPERIMENT RUGBY LEAGUE The annual World Club Challenge between the NRL and Super League champions will be played in England but Manly chairman Scott Penn wants to take the game to the Middle East.

Penn, whose Sea Eagles became premiers earlier this month, believes the one-off match between the NRL and English Super League champions is a great advertisement for the code and, if handled correctly, would promote the sport on a global scale.

“There’s no reason why we can’t play the game in Dubai or somewhere in the Middle East,’’ he said. “It could really benefit the game. I’ve spoken to a few people about it and from what I understand they have a 30,000-seat stadium there that would be ideal.’’

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It’s nearly summer Down Under: A crowd gathers near Auckland Harbour for the start of the Coastal Classic Yacht Race, which finishes in Russell in the Bay of Islands.

How inviting does London’s looming winter feel when reminded of the blue sky and spring sunshine on offer in the southern hemisphere?

BOGUT FRUSTRATED AS TALKS FALTER

BIG WEEK FOR ...

BASKETBALL

Australian fast bowler Mitchell Johnson turns 30 next week and needs the milestone to be a turning point.

His limited-overs form is fine, but with just one first-class match before the Tests against South Africa, Johnson needs to be at his best, for the coming summer, starting with this series, could define his career. Now a mature bowler, he needs to play like one.

Australian basketball star Andrew Bogut summed up the frustration surrounding the NBA lockout after the latest talks broke down on Friday, threatening further cancellations.

Another three days of meetings between owners and players in New York failed to yield a resolution of the 112day lockout, which could wipe the entire pre-Christmas schedule, with the parties divided over the division of revenues and the structure of the salary cap system.

“Just had a great training session, now some crappy lockout news … Wow, is this ever gonna end,” Bogut, who plays for the Milwaukee Bucks, tweeted.

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The Rangers levelled the world series in game two

QUOTES OF THE WEEK They’re a bunch of undisciplined, spoiled brats, disobedient, sometimes selfish, always complaining, always whining French rugby coach Marc Lièvremont airs his true feelings about his players, before the World Cup final. Unconventional

PREVIEW The World Series will be decided ST LOUIS V TEXAS

TUES, THURS, FRI; MIDNIGHT, ESPN AMERICA Now the Rugby World Cup is over, sports junkies find themselves scouring the globe for the next big-ticket event. Happily, baseball’s World Series climaxes this week.

This year’s decider pits the Texas Rangers, who have never won it before and were thrashed last year, against the St Louis Cardinals, who are the second-most successful franchise in history, behind only the New York Yankees.

The first two games of the best-of-seven

series were split, so the series will go at least to a fifth game, which will be played in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, before a sixth and seventh game, if required.

Rebounding from the disappointment of last year, the Rangers have been impressive all season, winning their division on the back of a frugal pitching roster and an even batting line-up. The Cardinals, on the other hand, snuck into the play-offs thanks to one of the most dramatic late-season turnarounds in baseball history, claiming a wildcard entry with a one-game advantage over the Atlanta Braves, who had appeared nailed on to qualify for the post-season.

THE CHAT | The NFL in London ‘rope-a-dope’

I’m keeping any urges to walk vertically up walls at bay for the moment After being bitten by a spider, Gold Coast striker Dylan Macallister was nicknamed Spiderman by his inventive teammates

The only thing I will say is that everyone at the club is totally and utterly behind Luis Suárez Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish is backing Luis Suárez, who has been accused of racially vilifying United’s Patrice Evra

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

CRICKET Tampa Bay Buccaneers played the Chicago Q The Bears at Wembley on the weekend – could there really be an NFL side based in London?

– it’s arrant nonsense. It’s just a convenient talking A No point that gets wheeled out every year because the average punter doesn’t know the specifics of the visiting sides, so the prospect of a London-based team is invoked as the hook.

Weigh the enormous investment required to start up an NFL franchise – licensing costs, stadium deals, employing staff, attracting players – against the level of interest in the sport in this country. Sure, the one or two games played here are well attended, but that is a world away from the groundswell of committed support required to justify a permanent franchise.

South Africa v Australia The third and final ODI Friday 1.30pm, Sky Sports 2

RUGBY LEAGUE Australia v New Zealand The Four Nations begins Friday 7.30pm, Sky Sports 1

FOOTBALL Chelsea v Arsenal The Bucs won’t stop here

Could be ugly for the Gunners Saturday noon, Sky Sports 2 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: TOM STURROCK tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

The Millionaires Club: Manchester City’s riches have allowed them to compete

The free market threatens to bankrupt English football Cash is king and the Premier League is impoverished as a result

» Agree or disagree? Is the Premier League too uneven? letters@tntmagazine.com 50

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

During his playing career, Shane Warne’s indomitable self-belief, no matter the odds stacked against him, was one of his greatest assets. And last week, the same glass-half-full approach was in evidence.

Australia may have slipped to fifth – and recovered to fourth – in the Test standings but, with a two-Test series against South Africa beginning on November 9, Warne breezily mapped out the path to Australia reclaiming top spot from England.

“They are playing South Africa now, they just beat Sri Lanka, then they’ve got India, so England is not far away,” Warne

“

Australia have the chance to be No 1

”

said. “Suddenly, they’ve got an opportunity in the next 18 months to two years, if they can beat all them, to be back to No 1.”

By analogy, suddenly, Arsenal have an opportunity, between now and the end of the Premier League season, if they don’t lose any more games, to win the title. Hmmm.

Fingers crossed, eh?

Photos: Getty

The chasm between the haves and have-nots grows ever wider and, increasingly, the deck is stacked in the haves’ favour, deepening the divide. No, we’re not talking about the inequalities that precipitated protests in London, New York and countless other cities around the world. We’re talking about the Premier League, where the free market is an article of faith and regulation is a dirty word.

Since the Premier League was established in 1992, only four sides – Manchester United, Blackburn Rovers, Arsenal and Chelsea – have been crowned champions. In the AFL, Australia’s premier football league, the past 19 premierships have been split between 11 sides. In America’s NFL, there have been 13 Superbowl champions in that time. In baseball, there have been 12 different winners of the World Series. By comparison, football – particularly the Premier League – is uniquely uneven, uniquely plutocratic, with only two, maybe three sides with any realistic chance of winning it. Manchester City’s emergence, funded by oil-rich sheikhs, confirms that you can’t compete without extravagant wealth.

Yet, in recent weeks, three separate proposals have been floated to entrench the power of the wealthiest clubs. First, Liverpool announced they intend to challenge the TV rights deal that shares the spoils between the clubs, with a view to negotiating their own, more lucrative deal. Second, some foreign owners want the relegation system scrapped, making the Premier League a closed shop. Third, a plan to overhaul the academy system will make it cheaper and easier for Premier League clubs to poach young players from smaller clubs, raising the prospect of clubs outside the top flight closing their academies altogether.

In America in the 1880s, Standard Oil built a monopoly in the oil industry, prompting the US government to pass historic antitrust laws that banned anti-competitive practices.

In the interests of enriching the competition – instead of foreign owners – the Premier League should be reinforcing equalisation measures rather than stripping them away.

WARNE ON CRISIS AND OPPORTUNITY

The final that could have been In case you missed it, this was how the Rugby World Cup decider might have panned out WORDS TOM STURROCK The final has been run and won but, when we stared into our crystal ball last week, we foresaw a very different outcome – a match with more twists and turns than anyone could have predicted. Except us. Incorrectly, as it turns out.

Pre-match Russell Crowe, proud New Zealander, makes the most of his invitation to sing the national anthem, delivering a rousing rendition of God Defend New Zealand, his throaty Johnny Cash-wannabe drawl bringing out the Maori verse at the start. Unfortunately, Crowe spoils his performance by asking to perform La Marseillaise as well. While being ushered away, Crowe’s mic picks him up saying, “I’m the greatest actor in the world. I can make even shit sound good.”

In the ITV box, Michael Lynagh and Sean Fitzpatrick are suitably impressed. “Well, after that build-up,” Fitzpatrick trills insightfully, “the stage is set.”

First half France, inspired by Marc Lièvremont’s pre-match talk about commitment – “I’ve worn this absurd moustache throughout the whole tournament. That’s commitment” – come flying out of the blocks. Tries to Morgan Parra and Dimitri Yachvilli allow France to take a 14-3 lead, with Piri Weepu’s penalty getting the hosts on the board. But referee Allain Rolland gives Weepu a red card for suspected ball-tampering, leaving the Eden Park faithful incensed. With half-time looming, New Zealand are staring down the barrel of humiliating defeat, and All Blacks fans are already dreaming up excuses about the team dinner being spiked the night before.

Half-time The half-time show is spectacular, funded by the fines collected from players who wore sponsored mouthguards.

But the fireworks are overshadowed by the announcement

from player manager Khoder Nasser, never a man to shy away from the limelight, that Sonny Bill Williams will turn his back on rugby to join the AFL’s new Greater Western Sydney Giants. Nasser also reveals Kiwi-born Quade Cooper has switched his allegiance from Australia to New Zealand.

In return, Crowded House are officially Australian.

There are also reports, emanating from the bowels of the stadium, that Russell Crowe had to be escorted from the All Blacks’ dressing room after he barged in and demanded he be allowed to give a special motivational speech.

Second half Goodness gracious – what a shock! Quade Cooper, with a heavily bandaged knee, is carried on to the field by his new All Blacks teammates. On the first play, he manages to drag down one of the French forwards, displaying more dogged defence on one leg than at any time playing for Australia.

And France, oddly listless, allow Cory Jane to storm over for a try. Cooper converts and Jane orders a double bourbon and coke. It’s all the All Blacks in the second half. Tries to Richie McCaw and Kieran Read help set up a match-winning lead and, when the French forward pack refuse to contest a scrum, instead just sitting down, the reason for the turnaround becomes clear – Les Bleus have rolled over in mutiny against their coach’s ridiculous moustache.

Post mortem In the end, the All Blacks run out winners 24-14 to claim a long-awaited World Cup. The nation erupts in celebration but during the post-match media briefing, it is announced that Graeme Henry will be replaced as coach by Richie McCow, the psychic cow born with a silver fern-shaped mark on his nose.

“What a tournament,” gushes Fitzpatrick. “Full credit to the opposition but in the end, rugby was the winner on the day.”

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Payback time The Four Nations kicks off this weekend and Australia are hellbent on revenge WORDS TOM STURROCK

On paper, there is little doubt Australia remain the benchmark in rugby league. But, in recent years, New Zealand have developed the happy knack of producing their best when it matters most, beating Australia in the World Cup final in 2008, before following up and repeating the dose in last year’s Four Nations final. It is a pattern Kangaroos hooker Cameron Smith is determined to break at this year’s tournament, which kicks off this weekend with Australia facing the Kiwis in Warrington.

“They’ve certainly closed the gap,” Smith says of Australia’s trans-Tasman rivals. “It’s not the way it used to be when Australia were the out-and-out number one side.

The coaching and the skills have improved – you only need to look at the NRL this year, where the Warriors played really well, and they’re made up mostly of Kiwis. We’ve had some great games against them – it just so happens the two times they’ve beaten us have in been finals, in probably the biggest games over the past three years.”

The performances of halfback Benji Marshall have been a major factor in the Kiwis’ ability to upset Australia in recent times. The superstar five-eighth has been at his very best against Australia – he engineered New Zealand’s breathtaking comeback in last year’s final, setting up Jason Nightingale for the winning try with a centimetreperfect chip kick in the dying minutes. But Smith, while acknowledging the threat posed by Marshall, insists the Kiwi forwards are just as much a driving force.

“He’s a fantastic player, one of the guys who really leads their side,” Smith says of Marshall. ”But the whole side is very aggressive and physical and they have a tough forward pack. You can have plenty of skills and plenty of talent in the back half, but if the forwards don’t do their jobs consistently then the guys out wide can struggle.”

After the grudge match against the Kiwis, Australia will arrive in London to play England at Wembley – part of a 52

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bumper double-header on Saturday, November 5, with New Zealand facing Wales beforehand. Australia will then face Wales in Wrexham before, barring some absolute boilovers, competing in the final in Leeds on November 19.

The scheduling of the tournament is not ideal for the southern-hemisphere sides. The fact that is comes just weeks after the end of the NRL season means some players are nursing injuries, and travelling to the UK means they forego part of their well-earned break before they return for pre-season training. Still, Smith insists the players remain desperate to represent their countries.

“There’s no doubt the players are very passionate and it’s the same for New Zealand and England,” Smith says.

“It’s hard to fit a tournament in but we thoroughly enjoy playing for our country. You look at a guy like Corey Parker, who’s been playing first grade for 11 years and now finally gets a shot to play for Australia. It’s exciting.

“We’ve had some injuries so it’s been a bit difficult, but I think we’ve handled it pretty well. It means we’ve got a good mix this year and things are going really smoothly.”

While the Australians’ focus will be on avenging last year’s defeat to New Zealand, the tournament also doubles as the swansong for Kangaroos captain Darren Lockyer, a player whose durability and reliability have been an asset to the national side ever since he made his Test debut in 1998. Now, 56 caps later, Lockyer is set to retire as a giant of the sport.

“Everyone knows he’s a legend – not just a great footballer but also a great bloke,” Smith says. “I’ve been lucky enough to play a fair bit of football with him over the years. He’s a great role model.

“All the boys love playing alongside him but he certainly hasn’t made it about him. It’s all about getting the job done.

He’s unselfish like that. Obviously we’ll all be keen to put in a big performance for him.”

For Smith, 2011 has already been a memorable year. His

Clockwise: Darren Lockyer is bowing out; the Aussies in training; Kiwi skipper Benji Marshall

Photos: Getty

club, the Melbourne Storm, bounced back emphatically from the wasted season of 2010, when their campaign was derailed by having their points stripped after revelations of salary cap rorting. Two premierships, won in 2007 and 2009, were annulled and the subsequent upheaval led to superstar wing Greg Inglis joining South Sydney. There were concerns the club would never recover; Smith, though, kept the faith, and was vindicated when Melbourne finished top of the table after the 2011 regular season. A grand final showdown against arch-rival manly beckoned, but the Storm were instead beaten by the New Zealand Warriors in the preliminary final.

“Internally, there was never any doubt,” Smith says.

“We knew we had some challenges to work through and a lot of people outside probably thought it would take a few years for us to get back up there. But I’ve been at the club for 10 years and, in my mind, there was never any doubt.

“When we were beaten by the Warriors, we were shattered. We had higher expectations, including winning that game, but it wasn’t to be. But a week passed and we had a review of the season and we realised we had actually achieved something pretty special. We won the minor premiership and set a club record for consecutive wins.

“Some really good things came out of 2011 and our coach, Craig Bellamy, reminded us that we really gave people a lift – the members and the fans. So I’m pretty proud, even though we fell short.”

Smith may be entitled to extract a silver lining from the Storm’s resurgent season but, should Australia get turned over by New Zealand in another Four Nations final next month, it’s unlikely the same kind of ‘honour in defeat’ assessment will wash.

Want to see New Zealand play Wales and Australia play England?

Win tickets to the Four Nations double-header at Wembley on Saturday, November 5. See tntmagazine.com for further details

WHAT ABOUT THE HOSTS? SOME FAMILIAR FACES England will have their work cut out keeping pace with the antipodeans, despite naming a Four Nations squad with plenty of top-flight experience.

Jamie Peacock, the massive Leeds prop, will captain England and could find himself alongside fellow veteran Adrian Morley, who played 116 games for the Sydney Roosters before returning to Super League, in the hosts’ forward pack.

The selection of Kiwi-born pivot Rangi Chase (above) in England’s squad has caused some consternation – the 25-year-old has previously represented New Zealand Maori and, earlier this year, played for the Exiles against England. But the Castleford Tigers stand-off has been in sparkling form over the past 18 months, winning Super League’s Man of Steel award as the competition’s best player. After making himself available for England this month, Chase was picked in the national squad.

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

BRING ON THE CLOWNS Clowns attend the opening ceremony of the 16th Latin American Clown Convention in Mexico City. At least 500 clowns from Peru, Belize, Nicaragua, Honduras and Guatemala were in town to clown around.

Photos: Graeme Green/graemegreen.org, Getty, TNT

INSIDE

GOTH WEEKEND /58

HIDDEN EDGES /66

EASY RIDER /72

Just in time for Halloween, the Whitby Goth Weekend cloaks this unassuming seaside town in darkest black.

Tallinn’s once-decrepit district of Kalamaja is quickly becoming a hotspot for art and music. Welcome to the Dalston of the Baltics.

Motorbiking across Bolivia’s famous salt deserts is an easy, but thoroughly satisfying, ride. Just watch out for manholes ...

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TRAVELDIARY

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Laura Chubb ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

DEBATING A TO B There’s a space race for our generation, but replacing the puffing-of-chestoff between the US and Russia is the battle of the multi-millionaire tycoons.

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Indian schoolgirls celebrate Diwali

DIWALI Mumbai, India Though a very spiritual time, Diwali is also a great opportunity to see India at its most jubilant. Arriving at the end of the harvest season, it’s 26 a period of prosperity for this poverty-wracked nation, uniting people in the positivity of the moment. Colourful paper lanterns, bright powders and resplendent fireworks are all common features of Diwali.

OCT

WHY: Probably India’s most important festival, ‘the festival of lights’ celebrates the triumph of good over evil. In much the same way Europe and North America light up at Christmas, in India, Diwali is everywhere, and the small, clay lamps that signify the occasion are lit across the Subcontinent.

DO IT BECAUSE: You know how everything takes on a more upbeat, communal feel when it’s Christmas? Add to that a generous splash of spirituality, and that’s the almost unearthly atmosphere you’ll experience. Catch the fireworks at Mumbai’s Chowpatty Beach.

WORLD CREOLE MUSIC FESTIVAL

MARCO POLO GERMAN BIERFEST

The 15th annual World Creole Music Festival kicks 28-30 out pulsating Caribbean rhythms for what is presumably a mass bump and grind sesh. Among the local and international bands making an appearance, UB40’s Ali Campbell has managed to get his mug on the bill.

A German beer festival in Hong Kong: brilliant. Don 24 the lederhosen and swig from a stein under an open-air marquee, overlooking the distinctly non-Deutsch Victoria Harbour. If you get hungry, there’s pork knuckle and bratwurst on hand. Authentic or what?

The festivities end November 12.

Dominica OCT

wcmfdominica.com

MANCA FIESTA La Quiaca, Argentina

Also known as the ‘Pot Party’, the locals take 30 particular pride in their traditional cooking pots. (We can feel your waves of disappointment.) Expect lots of folk music, and lots of llamas (llama markets take over the town).

OCT

diwalifestival.org

Hong Kong OCT

gbfhk.com

THE VOODOO EXPERIENCE New Orleans, US

Hundreds of thousands flock to see big bands play The 28-30 Big Easy. Featuring Snoop Dogg, The Raconteurs, and Fatboy Slim.

OCT

thevoodooexperience.com

Photos: Getty

Dutch businessman Michiel Mol is teaming up with KLM to develop a spacecraft that could take tourists to any city on Earth within two hours.

This would shave some significant time off the London to Sydney commute, with Mol predicting it would take just an hour and 45 minutes in his proposed plane.

Sir Richard Branson has, of course, already begun work on space tourism operator Virgin Galactic. While there’s no denying making the trip from London to Sydney in less than two hours would have its advantages – a quick evening visit to the grandparents to alleviate accusations of shirking family duties, perhaps – I do think it would be a shame to cut out what I find to be one of the most enlightening and anecdote-rich of travel experiences: the process of getting somewhere.

Truth be told, I’d be first in line for a short-haul flight from London to Tokyo. Flying, for me, is the most uncomfortable method of traversing A to B, and I’m eagerly awaiting the advent of the teleporter.

But if you could get to anywhere in the world within two hours, what of the epic journeys across countries and continents that have given me some of my best memories?

Without that 40-hour train ride from Xiamen to Kunming, I wouldn’t have seen the stunning countryside roll by my window, or been able to repeatedly dine out on the story of my travel buddy’s 40 hours over an in-train squat toilet.

Steak and champagne on a 19-hour Argentine bus ride is also a fond recollection. Because, if you’re a traveller, you love travelling.

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‘SILVER’ SPORTS We reported last month that so-called ‘grey gappers’ are outnumbering students when it comes to taking once-in-a-lifetime, round-theworld holidays. And now it seems we’re destined to be fighting with over-50s for a place on rock climbing and bungee-jumping trips. Research

by Gnu Insurance has shown 13 per cent of UK travellers aged over 50 take up adventure sports on holiday. Almost one-fifth of these adventurous senior citizens had tried waterskiing and parasailing. The next most popular activities among the over 50s were scuba diving, windsurfing, rock climbing, bungee jumping and caving. Wow. Way to go, wrinklies!

Photos: Thinkstock

US TERROR MIX-UP A Muslim woman was removed from a flight at San Diego International airport after an attendant allegedly heard her say, “It’s a go” into her mobile phone. However, US citizen Irum Abbassi claims she actually said, “I’ve got to go” because the aeroplane was about to depart. She is now suing Southwest Airlines. Her lawyer said: “She would not have been removed from the plane if she had been a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman.” A Southwest Airlines spokesman said: “We do not discriminate against anyone.”

NO TO IN-FLIGHT WEB Less than 5 per cent of passengers want inflight phone and internet access, according to a survey of 1300 travellers by Fly.com. As more airlines seek to improve in-flight connectivity – American airline Delta plans to introduce WiFi to its regional jets, and Gulf Air is set to allow broadband and mobile phone services across its whole fleet – those surveyed objected to the noise disturbances this would cause. A further 62 per cent said they were concerned about the safety risks of mobile phone use onboard.

PITT BRINGS ’EM IN It could be that Glasgow’s tourist board owes a sneaky backhander to Brad Pitt, as Scotland’s second city has attracted more tourists than the capital of Edinburgh so far in 2011. The media was all over Glasgow in August as the Hollywood star filmed his new film World War Z in the city. While an average 74 per cent of hotel rooms have been booked in Edinburgh in the first eight months of the year, Glasgow has filled 78 per cent. The city has also made £260m from tourist spending in shops, pubs and restaurants.

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Unassuming: picturesque Whitby hosted Bram Stoker’s Dracula

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Whitby

Whitby

ENGLAND UNITED KINGDOM

LONDON

GETTING THERE Trains from London King’s Cross to Whitby take approximately five hours and can cost as little as £12.30 for advanced bookings (nationalrail.co.uk).

A steampunk/ cyber goth hybrid

Whitby’s most famous spot for fish and chips, The Magpie Cafe in Pier Road sources fresh food from the fish market opposite. Expect to queue! (magpiecafe.co.uk) The Board Inn in Church Street offers traditional pub grub with great views over the harbour. Classics include breaded scampi and fish pie. (theboardinnwhitby.co.uk) The Black Horse Inn in Church Street is one of Whitby’s oldest pubs. There’s an impressively wide selection of local ales and ciders to choose from. (the-black-horse.com) Beez Bar in Wellington Street hosts open mic nights with music, poetry, and comedy acts taking the stage.

One of the cheaper town centre options, Prospect Villa Guest House on Prospect Hill is a cosy B&B serving up a monstrous full English. Single rooms from £40pn. (prospectvillahotel.co.uk)

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Dark days: goths fill Whitby

Situated in an elegant Victorian terraced house, Seacrest Guesthouse on Crescent Avenue is only a short walk from the seafront, harbour and town centre. Two of the rooms have sea views. Ensuite doubles from £67pppn. (seacrest.org.uk)

UKTRIP

Freaky festival The Whitby Goth Weekend cloaks this Yorkshire seaside town in darkest black for Halloween

Photos: Getty, TNT

WORDS LAURA CHUBB

Goth-spotting: like train-spotting, but infinitely more entertaining. For this spectator sport, you are not required to jot down the passing models’ numbers; rather, the trick is to spot the subgroups. Steampunks are the ones that look like time-travelling cyborg-cowboys. Victorian goths are more traditional top hat and long billowy coat types, while cyber goths eschew the all-black rule and weave day-glo into their dreadlocks.

The best place for goth-spotting? Undoubtedly the upcoming Whitby Goth Weekend, which strikes me as a pretty unbeatable setting for a Halloween holiday. While the peaceful Yorkshire seaside town might not seem the most obvious site for a goth festival, Whitby’s creepy credentials go way back – it’s the setting for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The novelist is said to have come up with the Count’s story after a visit in 1890, and was possibly inspired by the imposing spectre of St Hilda’s Abbey, the dark outline of which still dominates the town from the headland today.

Of course goth-spotting isn’t all Whitby Goth Weekend offers. Though it largely started out as a music festival – and bands playing the likes of emo and industrial dance still take the stage – comedy shows and fringe events now draw both goth and non-goth visitors. It’s seen more as a mass celebration of diversity nowadays, where anything goes and everyone is accepted. Fancy dress is a huge part of it; you’re as likely to see an Ewok climbing the town’s famed 199 steps to St Hilda’s as a pale-faced teenager with a tragic haircut.

Jo Hampshire, the woman who styled Whitby as a “mecca for goths”, tells me that she did so by mistake.

Originally from Barnsley in South Yorkshire, Jo says there weren’t many fellow goths around the small industrial town where she grew up in the Nineties. After putting an advert in NME to find some black-clad buddies, she got 120 replies, and organised a meet-up in Whitby, which she chose for the Dracula connection. Word got out and 200 people turned up.

“The locals wondered what was going on,” she laughs.

But that day grew into a twice-yearly festival, which has only got bigger since. “The town has taken us into their hearts,” Jo adds. “Locals love talking to the goths. You see pensioners getting their photos taken with them all the time!”

About 7000 people are expected to flood Whitby’s maze of cobbled alleyways for the latest feast of fancy dress. Far

from bringing a cloud of doom and gloom to the Yorkshire coast, the goths create a carnival atmosphere, and it is just as welcoming to those dressed in jeans and a T-shirt as those promenading around town in capes. As if to prove the goodnatured feel of proceedings, this year’s fringe includes a football match that pits goths against a team of piss-taking local journalists.

But if this all sounds like too much fun and not enough fear, Whitby does a decent line in horror for Halloween, too. While The Dracula Experience is more likely to elicit giggles than screams (animations, dubious special effects

“

Steampunks look like cyborg-cowboys

”

and live actors guide tourists through the Dracula story in Whitby), the outfit also runs ‘paranormal nights’ where you can take part in all-night séances with mediums at a haunted property, 9 Marine Parade. The Dracula Experience promises no special effects and reckons that “sightings of a ghost of a young girl with ringlets in her hair are not uncommon”.

Greedy for more gore? Whitby’s Bram Stoker Horror Film Festival screens four days of frightening films over Halloween. The schedule looks to be a mixture of sick stuff and kitschy classics. The UK premiere of Hard To Do – which comes with the tagline ‘breaking up is hard to do… especially if your boyfriend is holding an electric drill to your forehead’ – I imagine it can be filed under the former.

NEXT WEEK Whatever it is that you Take a tour of decide to do this Halloween, Madchester music chances are you won’t go wrong if you do it in Whitby.

The next Whitby Goth Weekend is on November 4-6.

See whitbygothweekend.co.uk Whitby’s grisly Bram Stoker Horror Film Festival is on October 28-31. See bramstokerfilmfestival.com More on The Dracula Experience at draculaexperience.co.uk

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LATEDEALS

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Escape to the Algarve for £130 with lowcostholidays.com

DEAL OF THE WEEK SIZZLING SPAIN

£124

A two-night trip to Madrid with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/holidays).

Includes five-star, B&B accommodation and flights.

Departs November 17.

< £250

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MOROCCO A 10-day ‘Exotic Morocco’ tour is £299pp (save £299) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com).

Includes four-star accommodation, some meals, and guides. Visiting the Sahara, M’hamid, Chigaga, Casablanca, Fes, Erfoud, Todra Gorges, Marrakech.

Offer excludes flights. Book By October 31; departs December 25.

AUSTRIA A self-catering ski holiday in Scheffau is £357pp with STA Travel (0800 8199339; statravel.co.uk). Includes three-star accommodation (one-bed apartment with sofa bed), transfers and return flights, based on four sharing. Departs January 7.

SHARM EL SHEIKH A sevennight trip to Sharm El Sheikh is £332pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes five-star, all-inclusive accommodation and flights.

Departs December 9.

> £500 RUSSIA A nine-day ‘Russia Revolution’ tour is £595pp (save 15%) with On the Go Tours (020 73711113; onthegotours.com).

Includes St Petersburg, Novgorod and Moscow. Excludes flights. Departs November 12. Also available departing October 29 for £636.

FRANCE A seven-day Ski Chamonix France tour is £519 (save £50) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com).

Includes six nights’ hostel accommodation, all breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks, full time ski instructor, 6.5 days ski pass, and ski equipment. Excludes flights. Book by October 31; departs December 23.

MEDITERRANEAN A 13-day ‘Mediterranean Highlights’ tour is £836 (save £279) with Contiki (0845 0750990; contiki.com).

Includes meals and accommodation.

Excludes flights. Departs December 3.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

FLIGHTS 23 WELLINGTON RD. LONDON, NW8 9SL ST JOHN’S WOOD

TRAVEL INSURANCE £7 Accra Auckland Bangkok Bogata Bombay/Delhi Cairo Cape Town Caribbean Chicago Dubai Harare Havana Hong Kong Jo’Burg Kinshasa Lagos Las Vegas Los Angeles Manila Malaysia Miami New York Nairobi Rio Santiago Shanghai Sydney Tokyo

£110 £360 £160 £390 £145 £95 £195 £310 £125 £125 £295 £295 £175 £145 £190 £155 £275 £275 £220 £220 £180 £110 £115 £195 £435 £170 £370 £299

Excluding all taxes & subject to availability

EUROSTAR £79 RETURN avel CLASSIC Trra

020 7586 1234 www.goclassic.co.uk

Photos: Thinkstock

PRAGUE A three-night trip to Prague is £159pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk).

Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and flights. Departs November 16.

ALGARVE A seven-night trip to the Algarve is £130pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes three-star B&B accommodation and flights. Departs November 23.

AMSTERDAM A two-night trip to Amsterdam is £112pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet. com/holidays). Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and return flights.

Departs November 13.

TENERIFE A seven-night trip to Tenerife is £240pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes five-star, B&B accommodation and flights. Departs November 19.

COSTA DEL SOL A seven-night trip to the Costa Del Sol is £199pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes four-star, self-catering accommodation and return flights. Departs November 5.

EGYPT A nine-day tour is £179pp (save £179) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com).

Includes accommodation, some meals, and guides. Excludes flights. Book by October 31; departs December 18 and 24.

£250 – £500

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HOTSHOTS

LAILA PACHECO

Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Symmetry Symmetry and patterns can make for great, eye-catching images. The beauty of these types of photos is they’re easy to find – symmetry is everywhere, or you can set up the shot yourself. The key is to maximise the impact. The more symmetry you have in one shot, the more prominent the effect of the outcome will be. Strong,

straight and diagonal lines along the frame play a strong role.

Architecture uses repeated patterns and symmetry so often, that it often goes unappreciated.

Before shooting, look around to see if there’s a way to bring symmetry to the shot. It doesn’t have to be a mirror image, even though this is visually pleasing.

WINNER TOBACCO SHOP (MYSORE, INDIA) Mauro De Bettio, Longarone, Italy

WHY IT WORKS This is a vibrant, busy image – there’s so much to take in. All the elements tie into each other and unfold more of the story – the woman, the items for sale, the vehicle, the bags underneath. Photography is a visual form of storytelling; the more elements you have, the more detailed the story becomes. Be careful as you can over-clutter an image. But this one works because each find leads us to the next.

RUNNER-UP FACE OFF Karlmarx Rajangam, Oxford, UK

RUNNER-UP

WHY IT WORKS A thought-provoking image, ‘Face off’ suggests a fight between old and new – and the negative space in the middle acts as the bleakness of there being no middle ground. I like that only half of each subject is in the frame; a head-on collision. The symmetry in the photo brings with it tension but also balance.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

ROLLERCOASTER HOLIDAYS

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YAMANASHI, JAPAN

Prop up the bar

HOTEL PELIROCCO OVERVIEW Dubbed

‘the real rock ‘n’ roll hotel’, Pelirocco in Brighton embodies all things sexy and decadent. But it’s not pretentious in the slightest. It’s more hilariously kitsch and unashamedly British – like a Carry On film.

WOW FACTOR The hallways are bright pink and adorned with a who’s who of British pop culture. The staff is fun and the bar serves tasty cocktails, like the Dirty Fuckin’ Rotter, for example, until 4am.

ROOMS Each has its own awe-inspiring theme: from Modrophenia, with its target-design bedspread and scooter tables, to the kinky Play Room, with an eight-foot round bed and ceiling mirror. Or stay in Pressure Sounds, the Jamaicanstyle dub and reggae room with Lee Scratch Perry wallpaper, or the punk-inspired room, Pretty Vacant.

We scored a night in the sidesplitting DollyWould room, made to look like country legend Dolly Parton’s country cabin. American flags are everywhere, as are pictures of the famously buxom 9-to-5 star, accompanied by quotes like: “You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.”

BILL PLEASE Single rooms start at £55 per night. Double rooms start at £90.

All prices include a hearty rock ‘n’ roller’s breakfast.

10 Regency Square, Brighton, BN1 2FG hotelpelirocco.co.uk

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Located at the foot of Mount Fuji, the Fuji-Q Highland Amusement Park gives visitors a spectacular view of the snow-capped peak – or, at least, it would if they weren’t all hurtling past on vom-inducing rides.

The latest addition to the park is the world’s steepest rollercoaster, Takabisha, which opened in July.

A 121-degree freefall is so steep the track has to bend inwards once the car goes over the top, rather than pushing thrillseekers straight outwards. The drop is a formidable 141ft high. (Until Takabisha, Yorkshire was the proud home of the world’s steepest ride, with Mumbo Jumbo at Flamingoland.)

Worst of all – or best, depending on how nuts you are – the drop comes midway through, so you’ll spend the first half of the ride worrying about what lies ahead.

At nearly two miles long, there are seven tummy-flipping twists along the way, just in case you’re not finding yourself entertained. However, the nosedive down the tortuous incline is the point at which you will experience

weightlessness. That’s meant to be fun.

Costing around £23m to build, there is one saving grace – the whole thing lasts only 112 seconds.

Fuji-Q also has a “fourth-dimension rollercoaster”, where the seats rotate 360 degrees forward and backward as you rip along the track.

Thrillseekers should also try out the Haunted Hospital, one of the largest haunted walkthroughs in the world. It takes a good 45 minutes to stroll around this attraction – provided you don’t chicken out and quit.

You’ll be supplied with a small torch as you’re plunged into darkness before actors chase you down corridors and leap out from the shadows.

Once you’re done making yourself sick in the park, spend some time exploring rural Yamanashi, often overlooked by tourists. Just hours from Tokyo by bus, it will make a welcome break from the crowds of the capital.

We recommend you hike, camp and fish around the Fuji Five Lakes Region to relax after your Fuji-Q ordeal.

Fuji-q.com

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ABU DHABI, UAE

Abu Dhabi likes to do things bigger and better – it was the setting for the enormous disaster that was Sex And The City 2 – so it’s no surprise it boasts the world’s fastest rollercoaster.

Formula Rossa at the Ferrari World theme park is so fast you have to wear protective goggles while being catapulted along. The Grand Prixthemed ride accelerates up to 149mph.

Afterward, slow down and visit the massive Sheikh Zayed mosque. ferrariworldabudhabi.com

4

HASSLOCH, GERMANY

A 184ft drop makes Expedition GeForce one of the steepest rollercoasters in Europe, generating a G-Force of 4.5 – the same facesmushing force exerted by the speed of Formula Rossa.

This is another coaster with a view, whizzing passengers over picturesque lakes and forests. Its location in the state of Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany’s largest wine-producing region, means there’ll be no shortage of drinks to help you steel your nerves. holidaypark.de

ROLLERCOASTER HOLIDAYS

3

TOP FIVE

SALOU, SPAIN

Not satisfied with being the fastest rollercoaster in Europe, the Furius Baco straps its passengers in on either side of the track, exposing them to the elements on three sides rather than one.

(Bring a hairbrush if you’re picky about your appearance.)

Later, enjoy the Salou Promenade and the beautiful beaches that make this the tourist capital of Catalonia’s Costa Dorada. portaventura.co.uk

5

MASSACHUSETTS, US

The US is home to all manner of monster rides, but we’ve picked the Superman: Ride of Steel at Six Flags New England so you can enjoy an enriching holiday once your legs have turned back from jelly.

A horrific 208ft drop is the ‘highlight’ of this rollercoaster – you will feel sick just watching it on YouTube. Escape to Cape Cod to relax afterward – check out the whale watching – or take on the big city and bright lights of Boston.

NEXT WEEK Spooky breaks: The scariest holidays for Halloween

sixflags.com/newengland

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TRAVELTIPS

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Travelling Eastern Europe – including Budapest – is easy and also affordable by train

@tntmagazine

READERS’ TIPS ROME-ING AROUND TIP When in Rome, on the OF THE last Sunday of the month WEEK you can visit the Vatican museums for free between 9am and 12.30pm and see monumental works of art – the Sistine Chapel, the chapel painted by Beato Angelico, the Raphael Rooms, the Raphael Loggia, and the Borgia Apartment.

Steven Buck, via email

YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

looking at visiting Eastern Europe Q I’m at the end of November through to Christmas, before I head back to Australia.

Would you recommend a Eurail pass as an affordable way to do this?

Ciaran, via email really easy to get around Eastern A It’s Europe by train. There are two types of

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confused by the visa process. Also, I see that it is £33 for an Aussie to get a visa, but £50 for a Brit. I have both passports, which would you recommend I use?

Nick, via email are a couple of ways to go about A There getting your visa, but you will need visa support documentation prior to your application.

This basically consists of confirmation from the Russian tourist office that verifies you are visiting as a tourist and a voucher that proves where you are staying. Both documents must be valid for the entire duration of your stay. You can get these from your hotel or hostel or through an agency, such as Real Russia (realrussia.co.uk), for a nominal fee.

You can then go about applying. UK residents can do this themselves through ru.vfsglobal. co.uk. Alternatively, Real Russia offers a full visa service, which includes everything you need to get your Russian visa, from about £116.

With regards to which passport to use, I enquired with the visa office for you, and they said your decision should be based on the documents required. While using your Australian passport may be cheaper, you will need to provide proof of residence in the UK for the past 90 days (i.e. utility bills or bank statements) and a copy of your travel insurance. Make sure you apply at least a month in advance as this can be a lengthy process.

WIN Send us your words of wisdom.

The top Tip of the Week published wins a fiver.

Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill.

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Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

European rail passes available; one for European residents (Interrail) and one for non-European residents (Eurail). If you have been in the UK for more than six months you won’t qualify for a Eurail pass but could use an Interrail pass. Both passes are available online (interrailnet.com).

Interrail passes are available by specific country, starting from £30, depending on which country you choose. Alternatively, there is a pass that is valid across 30 countries in Europe; the cost is determined by the period of time that you use it for. There is a midrange pass for 10 days’ travel within a 22-day period for £335 (for over 25s) which might suit your needs. Note that the Interrail pass doesn’t include the Balkans.

Perhaps consider an itinerary such as the Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary and Croatia.

You would have around four days in each country.

A final option is not to be ruled by passes and simply choose an itinerary and book the journeys separately, which doesn’t have to work out more expensive. Rail Europe’s team (raileurope.co.uk) can assist in booking individual journeys and advise on the cost.

decided to head to Russia for Q I’ve Christmas and New Year’s and am

FLYING CHICKENS AND UNICYCLES Check out The Flying Chicken restaurant in Bangkok. I am not joking when I tell you that if you order the signature dish – ‘the flying chicken’ – it is launched from a catapult, and caught by a waiter on a unicyle. Not only that, but the waiter is wearing a helmet with a spike on it, on which to catch said chicken. You may think I’m crazy, but it’s true. You can easily spot the building as it has sparkly statues of chickens outside of it. It’s on Bangna Trad, Bangna, opposite Royal Dragon and BITEC – basically, on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. As a bonus, the food is actually good too!

The karaoke, however, is not.

Charlie, via text

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

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MAJORCA Angela Rollett from Zimbabwe

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

CLAIRE BADGER, 26

MARK GWANGSEOP, 24

Chicago, US

Daegu, South Korea

BEST This one! I’ve been travelling around Europe for the last few weeks and I just love it. There is so much culture and all the different sights are so close together compared to the States.

WORST We went to Cancun in Mexico for spring break.

It really wasn’t my scene and I just couldn’t get into it. All of my friends seemed to be having the absolute time of their lives, so I just played along. I didn’t want them to think I was really boring!

Scariest travel experience?

Recently I got lost in Catania, Sicily, at night.

It is quite a frightening city after dark.

Favourite sight?

I was so impressed by the Great Wall of China. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it just went on forever over the mountains and into the distance.

Essential travel item?

I don’t know why but I always take a can opener with me. I don’t think I’ve ever used it but I always pack it!

» Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@ tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

Photos: TNT; Thinkstock

CYCLE CYPRUS Cycle the southern valleys of Cyprus, then relax at the five-star Columbia Beach Resort, amid vineyards and olive groves.

Five nights on a B&B basis is £725 for two people, including five days’ mountain bike hire, a packed lunch with energy drink each day and a 30-minute massage. Valid from November 1 to March 31. (columbia-hotels.com)

THE INSIDER

JULIA PEARSON, Account manager/ travel blogger The Massey Partnership

My most challenging travel experience was arriving in Mumbai in the middle of the night without a room reservation to find all the hostels full. I didn’t realise there’d be so many homeless people and it was quite scary being thrown into it, especially as it was my first backpacking trip.

My favourite place in the world is Japan. I love the people, the constantly buzzing atmosphere, the food – although I did miss bread – and the way there are no English signs or menus so you just have to go with the flow.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is Cambodia. I’m actually meant to be going this month but haven’t booked yet because of the floods.

My guilty travel pleasure is English food. I know it’s really bad, but when you are hungover sometimes you just crave a roast dinner or even, dare I say it, a McDonald’s.

My top travel tip is plan what you pack. It saves money!

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Tallinn is famous for its historic Old Town

Tallinn ESTONIA

TALLINN

ESTONIA

LATVIA

GETTING THERE Estonian Air flies twice weekly to Tallinn from Gatwick with return fares from £95. (estonian-air.com)

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Prison party: clubs move around old jails and factories

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Hidden edges Tallinn’s once-decrepit district of Kalamaja is quickly becoming a hotspot for art and music. Welcome to the Dalston of the Baltics WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

“A lot of people used to get stabbed in this area,” grins Jack, our guide, as we stop next to a building site. Once rife with unemployment, drug addiction and crime, Kalamaja – an old fishing district of northern Tallinn, dotted with old warehouses and sketchy alleys – was a no-go zone.

But Tallinn’s burgeoning hipster population are moving in and reclaiming the area – to the extent that it has now been nicknamed the ‘cultural kilometre’. And it’s hauling in anyone who’s young and in search of a good time.

We set off on our bikes – modelling our crash helmets and yellow hi-vis jackets – and spot DIY posters promoting gigs and warehouse parties. Gone are the days when Kalamaja was synonymous with an impoverished Russian population – now it’s all about edgy bars, pop-up galleries and raves.

It’s not surprising the area gets missed by tourists, who tend to visit Tallinn for Eastern European culture and history – in fact, Tallinn is the European Capital of Culture for 2011.

The old, stone city walls are still intact and scores of streets and passages wind through the Old Town to churches, including the 13th-century Gothic St Olav’s, and various museums where the city’s rich past is enshrined. Central Tallinn’s attractions are obvious but Kalamaja’s gems require more digging, making them all the more satisfying to discover.

We pedal down a dusty and potholed track, leading to the Patarei Sea Fortress, originally built as an early 19th-century naval base. When the Soviets rolled into Estonia, it became Tallin’s central prison. Now, more than 20 years since Estonia regained its independence, a stage is set up in the yard for Estonian and European DJs to perform on, and sprawling murals – one of a giant crazed green monkey freeing itself from a burning jail, policeman in hand – plaster the old prison walls. This is just one of a glut of ever-changing gig venues in the old factory buildings, which originally sprung up when workers poured in from Russia after a railway was built from Tallinn to St Petersburg in 1870.

Mutant Disco is one of the sweaty electro nights that hops from abandoned warehouses to old workers’ housing blocks around Kalamaja. Most locals stay updated on where the next events are happening through Facebook. But if, like mine, your knowledge of the Estonian language is zilch at best, the way to find out what’s going on while in town is to explore – look for posters, chat to people on the street

or walk into one of the area’s permanent fixtures. One such spot is F-Hoone, which translates to F-Block. This bare, brickwalled ex-Soviet factory is now a restaurant, owned by a Tallinn DJ. We make a much-needed pitstop for lunch and it turns out the food is as achingly hip as the orange-andblue-tile decor.

The meal starts with a delicious seafood platter of spiced Baltic sprat, hot smoked perch paté, herring caviar, herring kebab, cold smoked salmon, beetroot and a quail egg – all

“

It’s all about bars, galleries and raves

”

served in tiny pots, ramekins and on a wooden board. When I taste the fresh, delicate, pristinely presented main course of flounder fillet in lemon butter, I am reminded of this ››

Check out myriad local markets TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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area’s long-standing function as a fishing port. We set off again, speeding under yet another dodgy bridge, reminding me what a dive the area must have been. We pass Ökosaar, an old, London double-decker bus which doubles as a cafe preaching eco-values to anyone who will listen. And then on past EKKM – a bar set in an old house, with a courtyard surrounded by rusty metal grills and umbrellas emblazoned with Estonia’s big beer, Saku. I like to think this is a sign that the area has been accepted back into Tallinn after so long on its fringe.

And then, as suddenly as Kalamaja began, shiny flats and office blocks push up from the tarmac. The potholes in the road are gone, along with the grit and the excitement of being the first tourist to get in on a well-kept secret. But then I remember Tallinn’s Old Town too, and the thrill of rediscovering some of the best bits of the past. ❚ For more information see Visit Estonia visitestonia.com or Tourism Tallinn tourism.tallinn.ee. Baltic Holidays offers a three-night package with B&B at the Nordic Forum Hotel for £215 per person based on two sharing. Includes flights from Luton and transfers balticholidays.com

Kalamaja is rough around the edges [Caption]

NEXT WEEK We take a chilly break in a Romanian ice hotel. As you do

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

Serving cheap handmade pies and an eclectic mix of Estonian, Russian and international dishes, Kohvik Moon is a good place for a tasty meal that won’t dent your wallet too much.

And it’s near the seafront, so you can walk off a heavy lunch with a coastal stroll (kohvikmoon.ee).

An unashamed tourist trap, Olde Hansa takes its medieval theme seriously. Staff dress in costume, and every inch of the candlelit restaurant is decorated to look like the typical house of a rich 15th-century merchant. The food is satisfying, rich and meat-heavy, and the non-stop shots of ouzo-like liqueurs are intoxicating (oldehansa.ee).

Ö is modern, liberal and cool, decked out in monochrome and adorned with twisting chandeliers and racey black-and-white paintings. The food is decadent but not heavy. Try the parsnip soup, followed by the mouthwateringly tender veal, then the curd cheese brulee (restoran-o.ee).

DRINK

Seek out Hoov, selling dirt-cheap alcohol (beer for around £2 and cocktails for £3.50). Centred around a courtyard, it’s a hit with young and edgy locals, especially during the summer, when DJs occupy the outdoor stage. When it’s cold, revellers move to the bar’s cosy and rustic interior (hoov.eu).

Despite its name, Hell Hunt is a laidback, no-nonsense bar and an escape from the tourist droves. The pub, which is three minutes’ walk north of Town Hall Square, serves decent, well-priced grub and real ales. It also has its own brand of light and dark beers (hellhunt.ee).

Museum is a swanky spot for getting a little sozzled on prosecco. You’ll be spoiled for choice by a never-ending drinks list. But prices still come up lower than your average London bars.

We’ll drink to that (museum.ee).

SLEEP

If keeping your trip cheap is a priority, stay at Meriton Old Town Garden. Comfy rooms in the quaint, old-style building start at £42 a night and you’re still based in the heart of the Old Town (meritonhotels.com).

Right between the bars, restaurants and quaint architecture of the Old Town and post-warehouse cool of the Rotermann Quarter is the quirky Nordic Hotel Forum. For £108 a night (two sharing) you’ll find large rooms, a spa and swimming pool (with wave machine) and intriguing carpets with a grass and yellow brick road design (nordichotels.eu).

A prime example of Tallinn’s oldversus-new approach to things, the five-star Telegraaf Hotel in the Old Town mixes sleek modern design with four-poster beds and chandeliers. Prices start at £129 per night and previous guests include Morrissey and Bob Dylan (telegraafhotel.com).

EAT

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Photos: Toomas Volmer, TNT

BUDGET

TRAVELWEEKENDER

Beer o’clock This is Düsseldorf in 48 hours WORDS AZZAM ALKADHI

DAY 1: 09:00 Although the cafes and benches of the Rheinuferpromenade are best enjoyed in the summer months, the riverfront is still a good place to wander aimlessly and watch the world go by. Stay at Düsseldorf City Hostel (hihostels.com) on the riverbank; dorms start around £24pppn, including breakfast. Then take a morning saunter south along the river towards the Rheinturm (Stromstraße 20), a 240m-high tower offering fantastic panoramic views of the city and the harbour.

12:30 Düsseldorf is home to the largest Japanese population in Europe, so it would be a shame not to sample some authentic cuisine. The ever-present and consistently delicious Na Ni Wa (naniwa.de) is a great place to start. You might have to wait a while for a table, but with good reason.

The prices are reasonable, the portions are huge and the noodles are mouthwatering. Across the road is the Na Ni Wa (naniwa.de) sushi restaurant if you fancy something lighter.

14:00 Visit St Lambertus Kirche (Stiftsplatz 7), a 14thcentury church which has had various parts rebuilt after fires and World War II bombings. The result is a fascinating mix of styles, ranging from the Gothic and Baroque altars to the Renaissance tombs. The highlight is the unique twisted spire, built in the 19th century.

16:30 Königsallee is Düsseldorf’s answer to Milan, with boutiques aplenty and massive department stores for people with a few bob to spend. However, during the city’s carnival, known as the Fifth Season, it becomes a hive of revelry and activity, with stalls selling local beer and people dressing up in all manner of costumes. The carnival will run from 70

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November 11 until February 22 next year and climaxes with the Altweiberfastnacht. This traditionally involves the women of Düsseldorf taking over the city, starting at the town hall, and stealing sips of men’s beer and kisses along the way. It all ends with Düssledorf’s men dressing up in women’s clothing and competing in races.

20:00 You’ll no doubt be in the mood for fun times after all that, so be sure to make a beeline for the city’s buzzing and raucous Altstadt district. This area is just about the best place in Europe for a pub crawl – you can choose from hundreds of bars, all serving up a delectable selection of local beers and packed with fun-loving Düsseldorfers. Start your night the German way, with beer and bratwurst in Brauerei Im Füchschen (fuechschen.de), a traditionally loud and busy beer house, where you can share a table and a tipple with the locals. Their proximity to the Netherlands means Düssledorfers pride themselves on being the most openminded and relaxed of their compatriots, apparently.

DAY 2: 9:30 Nurse your hangover at Bistro Zicke (bistro-zicke.de). A favourite with local artsy types, it serves up a mean brunch in a mercifully quiet setting.

11:00 Düsseldorf has a number of museums to choose from, including K20 Kunst – Sammlung Am Grabbeplatz (kunstsammlung.de/en), with art from the likes of Picasso, Matisse and Paul Klee. For some cutting-edge contemporary works, head to the K21, set in a 19th-century parliament building. A combination ticket that permits entry to both these museums costs €13 (about £11) or €2 (£1.75) for students with valid ID.

DJH City-Hostels in Cologne & Düsseldorf THE NEW FACE OF HOSTELS • Central located in the cities • •

13:30 Spend some time chilling in Hofgarten, a park dotted with statues of some of Germany’s greatest figures.

Set in the heart of the city, it is Düsseldorf’s largest park.

It was first laid out by the royal family in the 16th century but has been destroyed and redesigned a number of times since. The current landscaping was laid out during Napoleon’s occupation of the city.

16:00 If you haven’t had your fill of beer for the weekend, make time for a tour of the Zum Schluessel brewery (zumschluessel.de), which has existed in the city centre for more than 170 years. There is also a pub on site, where beer is served directly from wooden barrels on the counter.

It only comes in quarter-litre measures in order to ensure it is as fresh as possible. The tour costs €8 (about £7) and, of course, includes two glasses of beer.

19:30 The old harbour area has undergone something of a renaissance and is now known as Medienhafen. Worldfamous architects, including Frank Gehry, who designed Bilbao’s Guggenheim Museum, collaborated to turn a crumbling and decrepit quarter into one of Germany’s hippest areas. It is brimming with bars, restaurants and bold architectural marvels. Finally, it would be rude to leave Germany without trying a currywurst, and Medienhafen is the home of Curry (curry-deutschland.de), a traditional currywurst restaurant with modern style.

Fly direct to Düsseldorf from London Stansted with Ryanair from £46 return ryanair.com

• • • • • •

of Cologne & Düsseldorf Modern and pristine facilities Single, double, and multi-bed rooms Private bathrooms Buffet-style meals Bistros & coffee bars Concierge & ticket desk State-of-the-art meeting rooms and technology Professional management, services & security

PATHPOINT COLOGNE The Backpacker Hostel • Reception staffed 24/7 • Buffet-style breakfast, optional • TV, Wifi and Internet terminals • Washing machines and dryers • Community kitchens with 3 cooking stations and refrigerators

The DJH City-Hostels are part of the Hostelling International global network.

www.city-hostel.de

The open salar: writer Graeme motors on

Salar de Uyuni BOLIVIA

BRAZIL PERU BOLIVIA LA PAZ

Uyuni

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GETTING THERE British Airways (britishairways.com) offers daily connections from Heathrow to La Paz, via Miami, with onward travel on American Airlines, from around £930 return. Amaszonas (amaszonas.com) operates flights from La Paz to Uyuni on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays from £155 return.

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BIGTRIP

Easy rider Motorbiking across Bolivia’s famous salt deserts is an easy, but thoroughly satisfying, ride. Just watch out for manholes ...

WORDS GRAEME GREEN

WHEN TO GO: “This one’s got a bit of oomph, so be careful,” The dry season, from April to The feeling as I witness the great pure October, is the best time to visit Robin, a Dagenham-born Bolivian citizen, white and blue of the salar open up in the salt flats, although it can warns me as he hands me the key. I turn it in front of us is exhilarating, the bike roaring get uncomfortably cold – pack the ignition and listen to the satisfying purr beneath me as I open the throttle. Any hint layers, and be prepared for minus of the motorbike’s engine. It’s been a while of dirt or dust from the land disappears as temperatures overnight. The wet since I’ve ridden a bike and, at 650CC (the we ride deeper in. The landscape sparkles. season, from November to March, bike’s a yellow and black Suzuki DR650), the In fact, its very luminescence presents is great for photos as the water engine’s a little bigger – OK, 13 times bigger a problem. As well as helmet, chunky boots covering the flats turns the desert – than I’m used to. and jacket, Robin has kitted me out with into a big mirror, dramatically It takes a powerful lurch forward as I pull a good pair of sunglasses, an essential piece reflecting the sky. away and I stall a couple of times. I take it of safety gear. The gleaming scenery, with around the block to get the feel for it, then light bouncing around in all directions, CURRENCY: Robin and I set off from the Bolivian town has been known to cause sun-blindness, 1 GBP = 10.8 Bolivianos of Uyuni for what has to be one of the most headaches and other health problems for ACCOMMODATION: unique landscapes on Earth. visitors. There are high rates of early onset A hostel bed in Uyuni costs Travelling around South America, I’ve blindness among the people who work here. between £12-£25. A night in asked many a backpacker what the highlight Psychologically, the terrain is strange for a double room at the Luna Salada of their trip has been, and the vast salt flats a biker – it looks so much like ice and snow, salt hotel costs from about £67 of Bolivia frequently take the number-one it seems crazy to be riding at 120kph across (lunasaladahotel.co.bo). spot. The Salar de Uyuni has 10,500sqkm of it, as if the bike will slip and slide at any brilliant white, almost Arctic landscape, with an estimated moment. Actually, it’s quite firm. “You think it’s going to 10 billion tonnes of salt standing in for ice and snow. slide,” Robin says. “But it’s more like riding on concrete than It’s 20km on a bumpy road from Uyuni to the salt flats, ice. There are some bits you have to power through, where with trucks kicking up dust and deep sandpits doing their there’s some water on the surface, and other areas where darndest to wrestle control of the bike’s tyres out from it’s smooth or even crunchy. The ground’s always changing.” under me. The outer edges of the flats are slushy as it’s We ride over long smooth sections, other areas where been raining, and a shallow layer of surface water perfectly crystallised salt has made bumpy mounds like anthills, and, reflects the clear, light blue sky. Men with shovels load trucks stranger still, parts covered by a giant mosaic of naturally with perfect pyramids of collected salt. formed hexagons (pictured, P74-75). Extreme changes in We pause while Robin tells me the local legend for how temperature at this high altitude (3640m) cause the salt the Salar de Uyuni was formed. “They say the lake was to expand and contract, which forms holes in the surface created by Tunupa, the mountain goddess,” he says. “She where saltwater bubbles through. The largest hexagons are had a love affair with Oruso and they lived happily and had obstacles to avoid, but at the speed we’re riding the bikes a child. But another mountain goddess came along and just soar over the smaller ones. wanted the attention of Oruso. She seduced him and ran We pass a salt hotel, the original and only remaining one off with him. Tunupa cried when she found out. She was on the salt flats. Due to the venues polluting the salt lake, breastfeeding at the time. The salt tears and milk from her building on the flats is now forbidden. The newer salt hotels breast mixed together and formed the salt desert.” are built around the edges. Outside the hotel is a line of (There are a few versions of this legend – one involving international flags blowing in the wind. a Jeremy Kyle-esque paternity row over a baby volcano – but The 80km from the hotel to Incahuasi island – a rocky ›› spot in the middle of the salt flats that is covered with Tunupa’s tears and milk always form the salar at the end.)

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A ‘rock tree’ in the Siloli Desert, on the way to the Salar de Uyuni cacti – is pure pleasure as we open the bikes right out. There are no roads, only faint tyre tracks from tourist vehicles that converge close to the island. Local drivers navigate using markers such as the Tunupa volcano and other peaks surrounding the flats. We do the same, picking a freestyle route that heads loosely in the direction of the dark mass of land far ahead, just an hour from the border with Chile. The land ahead glistens in the sun.

Pulling up at the island, where tourist jeeps are parked, other visitors eye our bikes enviably. One of the fun knockon effects of doing the Salar de Uyuni by motorbike is how undeniably cool it looks compared to the standard 4x4 tours.

It’s not cheap, not least because of the costly wear and tear of the salt on the bikes, but it’s worth it, a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

“You feel alive on a motorbike,” Robin tells me over lunch. “But here you also get the experience of the vast openness. It’s spectacular riding, but pretty easy, too.”

There are no roads, few tracks and no other vehicles all afternoon as we head out into the open salar where other tourists don’t tend to go. The immense landscape is ours alone and we make full use of it, giving each other plenty of space as we lean and ride in big swooping lines across the great, wide-open desert.

There are times when Robin’s just a dark speck on the horizon, other times we loop around and cross each other’s tracks, like two lone skaters on what feels like the world’s biggest rink. Other than big salt eyes – holes in the ground caused by the salt expanding and contracting with changes in temperature – there’s no real danger, even at this speed.

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landscape. We reach the slushy shore and reluctantly leave the flats, riding along the edge to the train cemetery just outside Uyuni – a famous attraction where rusted trains languish, useless, around 3km from town.

Distracted by the scenery, I don’t see a corner coming, hit a deep patch of sand and get thrown from the bike. I climb back on and keep riding, with pain in my left thumb (from the handlebars) and a bleeding right elbow. I nearly come off again when another deep ridge of sand on the uneven road

The Bolivian salt flats are easily among the world’s most stunning landscapes

makes it difficult to keep the front tyre straight. To top it off, a car screeches to a halt at a crossing in town, missing me only narrowly.

We arrive, in one piece, at the train cemetery as the sun sets behind a silhouette of hulking rusted trains, abandoned engines and carriages covered in graffiti. “This is a bleak and desolate place,” Robin says. “I think they’re a bit beyond restoration, don’t you?”

The train yard, Robin explains, was the birthplace of football in South America. British engineers came here in the 19th century to design and build Bolivia’s trains and rail network, bringing ‘the beautiful game’ with them which spread quickly across the land.

I climb up on to one of the engines to get a better angle for a photo and nearly fall down a deep manhole, my fourth near miss today. I’m starting to think today might be ‘my time’ and that Death is, Final Destination-style, trying to catch up with me. I hope not. Although as last days on Earth go, this has been a pretty good one.

After dropping the bikes in town, I take a taxi to the hilltop Luna Salada Hotel. There are less expensive places to spend a night in Uyuni, but if you’re only passing this way

“

Flamingoland: by the red lagoon

You feel more alive on a motorbike

”

once, a stay in a salt hotel makes for a novel experience. The walls of the grand, almost castle-like hotel, inside and out, are made entirely from blocks of creamy salt cut through with brown veins of mud. The interior feels light, airy and natural. Rooms are comfy, with gas fires and hot showers.

Beds, strewn with thick blankets, are carved from salt. The floor in the bedroom is a kind of crushed salt gravel, which continues down the hallways too, where there are relaxation areas: the walls, arches, tables and chairs all also created from salt. ›› But it’s not until the following morning that I realise

Pedro shows support for our brand

The Insider's guide Pedro Nunez, a Bolivian tour guide, gives us the inside track on one of South America’s most rewarding countries. (The TNT stick pictured isn’t real. We hope.)

What’s the one thing anyone coming to Bolivia should see or do?

Lake Titicaca and Salar de Uyuni are the big things that everyone does. I’d also recommend seeing Sucre and Potosi, Rurrenabaque, the Jesuit missions and Santa Cruz.

What makes Bolivia unique, compared to other countries in South America?

It’s located at the centre of South America and retains a bit of each country that surrounds it. Also the diversity of its geography, its culture and its people.

Apart from Uyuni and La Paz, which lots of travellers see, what are some more offbeat places that should be on the list of places to go?

Coroico, for its climate, geography and cultural diversity. Also, Torotoro National Park for their footprints of dinosaurs, caves, customs, and their guns.

Are there any hidden gems in Bolivia that you’d recommend travellers make the effort to see?

The Icla Canyon and its surroundings. And also the crater of Maragua near Sucre.

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another of the hotel’s big selling points. I’d arrived after dark, but over breakfast, in a dining room made of salt, I sit close to a wall-length window that looks out from the high hillside and take in the scene. There’s a clear view of the jagged crater of Tunupa to the north, while right in front of the hotel is a grassy slope where llamas graze. Beyond it, gleaming whiteness that stretches to and beyond the horizon, the desert of milk and tears. ❚ One-day motorbiking packages on the Salar de Uyuni start from £150pp (for two people) motorcycletoursbolivia.com. Rainbow Tours Latin America offers a 10-night package including La Paz, Salar de Uyuni, Lake Titicaca and Sucre from £2495pp based on two sharing, including flights (£1495pp ex flights), a night at the Luna Salada salt hotel, B&B accommodation throughout and all land transfers.

BEST OF THE REST BOLIVIA’S BIGGEST THRILLS Motorbiking across Salar de Uyuni is pretty cool, but there’s more than one adrenaline rush to be had in Bolivia. Here’s our top picks:

Pyramids: salt collected from the flats

1 HORSE TREKKING AROUND TUPIZA One of the greatest joys of Bolivia is that the landscape continually changes from extreme to extreme, and is always – without fail – stunning. Tupiza is a jumping off point near the border with Argentina from which to explore the desolate salt desert, but you should also make time to check out Tupiza’s surrounding ‘Wild West’ scenery. The red rocks, rubble and cacti are straight out of a Hollywood Western, which makes sense because this is the area in which the reallife Billy the Kid hid from the law. A horse trek – complete with cowboy hat – is the ideal way to traverse the terrain.

You can book tours in town that take anywhere between three and seven hours. Aim for an English-speaking guide (seldom included, so ask!), otherwise you’ll miss out on the historical tidbits.

3 BUNGEE JUMPING IN LA PAZ/ COCHABAMBA Whichever location you choose, the formula is the same – jump from a big bridge with a view of rugged mountains beyond. We hear good things about local operator AndesXtremo, which also offers climbing, canoeing, kayaking, rafting and paragliding.

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Incahuasi island: home to cacti and alpaca

NEXT WEEK Hong Kong What to see besides the bright lights

Photos: Graeme Green/www.graemegreen.org, Getty, Thinkstock

2 MOUNTAINBIKING DOWN DEATH ROAD Just outside La Paz lies the world’s most dangerous road, a twisting dirt track just 3.2 metres wide that gives way to sheer drops of 4000 metres. Plucky backpackers race down the road on mountain bikes while dodging the notoriously erratic Bolivian traffic, earning a buffet lunch, a survivor’s T-shirt and a beer at the bottom (assuming you don’t plunge over the edge). In all seriousness, this is a potentially fatal rite of passage on the backpacker trail, and shouldn’t be undertaken lightly. If you do want to do it, make sure it’s with Gravity Bolivia, the most reputable company in town, and also providers of the best bikes.

See: gravitybolivia.com

Contiki

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£249 £299 £429 £629 £699

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THE BEST XMAS & NEW YEAR TOURS EVER! We’re Triple-A bonded (ABTA, ATOL, AITO) and have over 10 years of experience in running top quality festive tours

EGYPT AND JORDAN Party with the Pharaoh’s 6 days Festive King Tutankhamen 9 days Festive King Ramses 13 days New Year Wadi Rum 8 days Xmas in Petra 8 days

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EGYPTIAN EXPRESS Ancient Egypt at its very best in 9 intoxicating days!

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Egyptian Express fr £199

Pyramids & Beaches fr £359

ANZAC Day 2012 fr £239

Pyramids, Felucca, Luxor, Aswan - 9 days

Ancient Egypt + Dahab by the Red Sea -15 days

ANZAC & EGYPT combo tours - 4, 8, 12 & 17 days

XMAS/NY in Morocco fr £579

Hogmanay fr £239

XMAS & NY in Egypt! fr £299

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EUROPE

EUROPE 2012 ount

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to until 31 Oct 2012. Does not apply n 1 - 31 October 2011. Valid for travel and does not apply to the food fund or Must book and pay in full betwee only Discounts apply to basic trip price with one other standard brochure discount up * Offer valid for new bookings only. break packages or Gappies trips. ed short combin be London , can t w ANZAC discoun ls, withdra Bird or Festiva Early k reserves the right to amend odation. Subject to availability.

10 mates and save 10% offers. Topdec sailing fund or pre/post accomm early payment and the book with to 15% off excluding the 6 month this offer at any time.

18 DAY WINTER GETAWAY Dep. 19 Nov, 7 Dec 2011

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WAS £415

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Flights not included. Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.633, which must be paid locally in USD. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments.

-and-new-year www.topdeck.travel/christmas

2 DAY

4 DAY

Dep. 10 & 17 Dec 2011

Dep. 24 Dec 2011

£149

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Dep. 30 Dec 2011

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£279

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Dep. 26 Dec 2011

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EDINBURGH HOGMANAY (NEW YEAR)

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CHRISTMAS R A E Y W E N &

£649

CALL US 0845 257 5210 Prices quoted & discounts are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off trip prices only, and do not include food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included. See website for full terms and conditions.

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HOGMANAY

RUGBY LEAGUE FOUR NATIONS @ WEMBLEY STADIUM N AUS v ENG + NZ v Wales Double Header SAT 5 NOV £25 N 4 NATIONS FINAL SAT 19 NOV Coach Tour

£119

30 DEC-2 JAN £209/249 N 4 Day Coach/Hostel Tour 30 DEC-2 JAN £279 N 3 Night Hostel & Hotel

RUGBY UNION DON’T MISS THIS YEAR’S ONLY LONDON INTERNATIONAL N AUS v BARBARIANS Twickenham SAT 26 NOV £35 ✔ Confirmed for the Barbarians: Stirling Mortlock, Sonny Bill Williams, Victor Matfield & Danny Cipriani!

SANTA PUB CRAWL ANNUAL XMAS PUB CRAWL

SUN 11 DEC £25

✔ Private red double-decker party bus ✔ Discount drinks ✔ Multiple pub stops ✔ Santa suit & hat included ✔ Group Santa photos at London’s most famous sites

PADDY’S DAY CELEBRATE PADDY’S DAY IN DUBLIN! N 3 Nights

Dublin

15-18 MAR

£159

ANZAC DAY JOIN OUR HIGHLY ACCLAIMED ANZAC TOURS

GALLIPOLI TOURS N 3 Day Tour 24-26 APR £199 N 4 Day Tour 23-26 APR £239 N 5 Day Tour 22-26 APR £279 N 8/9 Day Tours 18-26 APR or 22-29 APR £399 N 15/16 Day Tours 11-26 APR or 22 APR-6 MAY £599 WESTERN FRONT TOUR WWI French & Belgian Battlefields + Anzac Day Services N Eurostar Tour 23-25 APR £299 N Make Own Way 23-25 APR £259 ✔ Somme ✔ Villers-Bretonneaux ✔ Ypres ✔ Fromelles

EDINBURGH’S MASSIVE NYE PARTY!

✔ Accom ideally located in the absolute heart of town ✔ Edinburgh street party pass ✔ Superb pubs, bars & clubs ✔ Funky tour t-shirt ✔ Experienced Fanatics tour reps

FOOTBALL ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE N Fulham FC vs Wisla Krakow THU 3 NOV N Fulham FC vs Odense BK WED 14 DEC N Fulham FC vs Bolton Wanderers SAT 17 DEC N Fulham FC vs Newcastle SAT 21 JAN N Fulham FC vs Man Utd SAT 24 MAR Coach Trip N Fulham FC vs Liverpool SAT 14 APR Coach Trip

£11 £11 £33 £38 £99 £99

FEB SKI WEEK HALF-TERM SKI WEEK IN THE FRNCH ALPS! 11-18 FEB N Coach Tour Risoul, France

£649

Price Includes : ✔ Return coach from London to the Alps ✔ 6 Day lift pass ✔ Ski / Snowboard hire ✔ Optional breakfast & dinner daily ✔ Optional lessons ✔ Apartments with balcony, kitchen & ensuite bathroom

PAMPLONA AMAZING RANGE OF TOP QUALITY TOURS! N Camping Pamplona or San Sebastian

4 Days 4-15 JUL £159 N Barcelona + Pamplona Fiesta 2-8 JUL N Ibiza + Pamplona Combo 5-11 JUL N San Sebastian + Pamplona 3-8 or 5-10 JUL N Coach Tours 6,7 or 8 Days Depart 3 or 4 JUL

£349 £389 fr £239 fr £279

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st 96

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Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm

TRAVEL

tuhal 9 nn

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Gro Discouup nts

SAVE

EST! THE B D N A GEST E BIG H T , L A RIGIN THE O . . .

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£50 pp!

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XMAS & NYE COMBOS

NYE – COACH TOUR

N SKIFEST XMAS + PARIS NYE

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

22 DEC-2 JAN ✔ 7 Nights Risoul ✔ 2 Nights Paris ✔ Coach London-Risoul-Paris-London

N 9DAYTOUR 30 DEC-7 JAN (all-inclusive) ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ 6 days skiing

£769

(all-inclusive)

N SKIFEST XMAS & HOGMANAY NYE

£689

22-29 DEC & 30 DEC-2 JAN ✔ 4 Nights Risoul ✔ 3 Nights Edinburgh ✔ 4 Days skiing & Hogmanay’s NYE celebrations!

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NYE – FLIGHT TOUR N 8DAYTOUR 30 DEC-6 JAN ✔ 6 days skiing ✔ Book early!

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l! ies! rtou ais t PR esin SkNifYE

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NYE – MAKE YOUR OWN WAY

£499

XMAS – FLIGHT TOURS RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

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N 8DAYTOUR 23-30 DEC

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(all-inclusive) N 8DAYTOUR 23-30 DEC ✔ World class 5 star ski resort ✔ Exclusive hotel tour ✔ Incredible value!

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N 8DAYTOUR 31 DEC-7 JAN ✔ Self-drive or train/bus to Risoul

SKIFEST PRICE INCLUDES ✔ Return transport from London ✔ Optional b’fast & dinner daily in resort £80 ✔ Ski lift pass ✔ Ski/Snowboard hire ✔ Skifest merchandise ✔ Legendary Skifest parties & theme nights ✔ Amazing Xmas & NYE celebrations

Unbeatable skiing

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

£529

OUR SKI RESORT & ACCOM

£599

✔ Self-contained apartments (sleeps 4-6) ✔ Balcony, kitchen, ensuite bathroom & WC ✔ High altitude resorts 1,850m-3,500m ✔ Top quality snow & over 300km of piste ✔ Ski runs literally at our door step ✔ Funky resort bars, shops & restaurants

(all-inclusive) N 7DAYTOUR 23-29 DEC ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ Gets back Thurs 29 ✔ 4 days skiing (all-inclusive) N 9DAYTOUR 23-31 DEC ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ Gets back Sat 31 ✔ 6 days skiing

Our apartments

Know before you go..... ✔ All Fanatics tours stay in self contained apartments ✔ We DO NOT use complexes designed for schools and youth groups ✔ We only use high altitude resorts with outstanding snow records

BOOK ONLINE NOW! COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

www.thefanatics.com

www.skifest.co.uk or call 0207 240 3223 Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon-Fri 9am-6.30pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL CHECK ON-LINE FOR LOTS MORE DATES & RESORTS!

Christmas Special!

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Les Arcs / Chamonix Tignes / Flaine 23rd – 30th Dec 2011 From

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HORSE RIDING IN WALES RELAX AND RECHARGE YOUR BATTERIES AT THE WEEKEND

We pickup from Ealing every Friday evening at 6:30pm.

Our trips are great for groups of mates, singles or couples HORSE RIDING Ride all day over the Brecon Beacons national park, suitable for first timers or experienced. We ride over mountains and ancient Roman bridleways, it’s probably the best ride in the UK, with great scenery. The sore ass is on us and guaranteed, but we’ll put muscle soak in the hot tub for you. £195 HILL WALKING On the Brecon beacons national park £135.

Or you can just chill FLY FISHING All tackle supplied, you just fish all day .£165 ACCOMODATION has 2 double rooms, dorms & open log fire. It also has a large covered hot tub next to a river with music. At night you can party all you like, with big late breakfast on Sunday. Our food is home made and cooked by a pro.

Phone 01874 636170 open till 10pm.

Weekday trips also can be arranged, Sunday to Friday, good for teachers

Included in all prices are return transport, 2 nights accommodation, all food and activity. There are absolutely NO hidden extras.

Email: info@bushwakkers.co.uk website: www.bushwakkers.co.uk

We are fully qualified and all legalities are in place, so no wukking furries

We offer a unique experience for guests with our restored 1881 building.

Live in and see Tallinn’s history.

Don’t miss Christmas Markets!

Book online or contact us now: GIDIC Backpackers 31 Tartu Mnt,Talinn, Tallinn, Estonia Tel: +372 6466016

GIDIC HOSTEL Tallinn Free Internet • Free wi-fi • Free laundry • Free lockers + padlocks • Free Ironing facilities • Nice kitchen • Great large TV and Nice clean Hostel

Aus hostterl alian owne in Esto d nia!

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www.gidic.ee

SHORT BREAKS HOLLAND & BELGIUM From

£180

Fri 21st - Sun 23rd October. Return travel by coach, 2 night’s B&B with dinner AND free bar, sightseeing tour, visit to a cheese and clog farm, tour manager and a half day in Brugge.

PARIS BY EUROSTAR From

£209

Fri 21st - Sun 23rd October. Two nights B&B hotel, city sightseeing tour and plenty of free time to explore Paris.

OVERNIGHT WEEKEND TOURS ISLE OF WIGHT OVERNIGHT Sat 22 - Sun 23 Oct. From £90pp DIKSMUIDE - BELGIUM’S BEER FESTIVAL Sat 22 - Sun 23 Oct. From

£90pp

DAY TRIPS £46

¸ Sat 22 Oct. A Day In WALES. From ¸ Sun 23 Oct. Brighton. From

£36

¸ Sun 29 Oct. Windsor Castle & Hampton Court. From

£36

£45 ¸ Sun 6 Nov. Cotswolds. From £36 ¸ Sat 5 Nov. Isle of Wight. From

PLUS Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY. From £45

with entrances to Stonehenge & the Roman Baths included!

Oxford and Stratford TUES, THURS, SAT & SUN From £45 with entrance into Anne Hathaway’s Cottage included!

LUXURY MINI COACH TOURS No more than 15 people with customer specified pick ups in zone 1 From

£55

¸ EVERYDAY - Oxford, Stratford & Cotswolds ¸ EVERYDAY - Stonehenge, Glastonbury, Avebury & Chalice Well ¸ EVERY SAT & SUN - Leeds Castle, Canterbury & White Cliffs of Dover

BOOK ONLINE AT:

www.andersontours.co.uk or call 0207 436 9304 Anderson Tours Travel Shop, 81 Charlotte Street, London W1T 4PP

Anderson Tours is fully bonded

by Client Trust Account

Brugge Overnight 19-20 Nov Only £129pp

Leeds Castle Fireworks Sat 5 Nov. Only £55pp Includes Pub Lunch, return coach travel, entry into Leeds Castle grounds.

Includes: luxury coach travel, ferry crossing, 1 night hostel accommodation, walking tour, services of a tour manager and plenty of free time!

e at Book onlinrsion s.com www.outthere-excu

Or call 0207 436 9304

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longer the London pride)/ Leading him to religiously imbibe.

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Tittie flasher.

My amigos in the desert: Thanks for my send-off, guys. I had a great time on our last night at the Irish, but I’m not happy about waking up with a piercing headache and missing my flight!

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My mate Caz: It finally feels good to have direction back. Not sure if I’ve made a sideways move, but soon I’ll be making a forwards one. You’ve been amazing.

To the grandaddy of chocolate-dipped youknow-whats: I can’t get enough of your minty whipped cream. More bubbles this week?

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To an intrepid Kiwi bird: Lisa, ha! I finally got ya back!

Wow, I can’t believe our Europe adventure has now come to an end – four months, 15,000 miles and 24 countries later! I just want to let you know that I have had the most amazing time travelling with you. You were the best travelling companion and I must say how impressed I was with how well you coped living in a van for that long!

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Love ya! Andrew. PS. A big shout out to the land of Lothair and the rest of our London friends. Can’t wait to party with you all one last time on Friday!

Skinny: You’re off on another adventure, but this time you’re not coming back. How will I get through the week without you?

I’m going to miss spending time whinging about the system, drinking, finding excuses for not getting to the gym and eating instead, travelling, getting lost, stumbling and our (attempted) weekend mishaps. Safe travels.

Can’t wait to catch up back at home (I’m guessing 2014).

Fatty Fatty Fat Fat. Flash-in-the-pans stink: I am really tired of all these temporary relations. I would like to find a man who will be able to estimate not only my beauty, but also my brain and my soul. I want him to be kind and handsome, brave and tender, romantic and honest. Try me out, punks.

To darling Jo Jo and Richie Rich: Thanks so much for putting

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