Easing the transition social and emotional transition May 2017

Internationally Recognized Since 1961 A Flagship Montessori Program To Grade 6 A Welcoming IB World School Grade 7 to 12

Subtitle

WELCOME! Social Emotional Life at the Upper School Changes in the teenage years (an attempt to prepare you !)

Ms. Josephine Parody- Dean of Student Services Oversee programs for the whole student, academic and social emotional support, university admissions

Ms. Tanya Neff, Grade 7 Advisor Oversees academic, social wellbeing and progress of Grade 7 students.

Social and Emotional Learning

Students are LEARNING these skills!

Social and Emotional Learning Description of Skills The ability to make constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on ethical standards, safety concerns, and social norms. The realistic evaluation of consequences of various actions, and a consideration of the wellbeing of oneself and others.

The ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with diverse individuals and groups. The ability to communicate clearly, listen well, cooperate with others, resist inappropriate social pressure, negotiate conflict constructively, and seek and offer help when needed.

Even adults don’t have all of these skills all of the time.

The ability to accurately recognize one’s own emotions, thoughts, and values and how they influence behavior. The ability to accurately assess one’s strengths and limitations, with a well-grounded sense of confidence, optimism, and a “growth mindset.”

The ability to successfully regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in different situations — effectively managing stress, controlling impulses, and motivating oneself. The ability to set and work toward personal and academic goals.

The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others, including those from diverse backgrounds and cultures. The ability to understand social and ethical norms for behavior and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports.

What parents can do to help - help your child become independent

The ability to accurately recognize one’s own emotions, thoughts, and values and how they influence behavior.

The ability to accurately assess one’s strengths and limitations, with a well-grounded sense of confidence, optimism, and a “growth mindset.”

The ability to make constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on ethical standards, safety concerns, and social norms. The realistic evaluation of consequences of various actions, and a consideration of the well-being of oneself and others.

Tell me about how you are feeling, why are you feeling that way (non judgmental).

Reflect on your choices and behaviour. Are they “good” and righteous choices (for all people)?

The ability to successfully regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in different situations — effectively managing stress, controlling impulses, and motivating oneself. The ability to set and work toward personal and academic goals.

The ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with diverse individuals and groups. The ability to communicate clearly, listen well, cooperate with others, resist inappropriate social pressure, negotiate conflict constructively, and seek and offer help when needed.

Now that you see that perspective, how can you modify your behaviour to get along with that person? How can you move forward?

Why do you think that person behaved like that? How were they feeling? How would you feel in that situation?

What can be done to help?

How can you manage your feelings? (not about managing others) The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others, including those from What will you do diverse backgrounds and cultures. The ability to understand social and ethical norms for behavior next time? and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports.

What is going on? What you may hear about…

• • • • • • • • • • •

Rumours Exclusion Competitiveness Being grown up – language Parents often Speaking badly about others’ abilities don’t know Bullying what do to with this Confusing hurt feelings with bullying Mistake Mischief Mayhem information.

Teachers hate me Sometimes listening is all School policy a child needs. Ask – what Everybody else is … are you telling me?

What is going on? What is really happening • • • • • • • • • •

Rumours – holding a grudge, issues not resolved Exclusion – assumptions Competitiveness – natural emotion Being grown up – language – proving oneself, lack of knowledge Speaking badly about others’ abilities – fear of failure Bullying – teasing gone wrong, feeling hurt Mistake Mischief Mayhem Teachers hate me –fear of failure school policy – fear of failure – independence Accurate Assessment

TMS Social Experience It is to help children learn to manage It is learning how to get along It is about creating a supportive climate It is learning to love and appreciate other students (It is not about winning or being better or being perfect)

Who to go to for assistance 1. Advisor Both at the same time 2. Subject Teacher 3. Assessment/Academic Policies – IB Coordinators 4. Guidance Counsellor - Ms. Parody /Ms. Bailey 5. Dean of Student Services – Ms. Parody 6. Head of Upper School - Mrs. Thomas 7. Mr. Young

What is going on? Consequences Rumours – holding a grudge, issues not resolved • Exclusion – assumptions • Competitiveness – natural emotion Being grown up – language – proving oneself, lack of knowledge • Speaking badly about others’ abilities – fear of failure • Bullying – teasing gone wrong, feeling hurt • Mistake Mischief Mayhem • Teachers hate me –fear of failure • school policy – fear of failure – independence •

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Process Grade Context Background Case by Case

What does NOT help: Solving the problem for the student Taking a side – there is always more than one Trying to deal with it alone – school as a big part Assuming the school will label the child forever

Social and Emotional Development Adolescent Development – Their Experience All of a sudden – they are children in an adult world!

They need to develop their skills What we value at TMS – LEARNING! We love and take care of everyone – even if a good person has made a bad decision.

NORMAL!!! Every school!!

We love all of our students!

We love learning!

We love being a team!

Josephine Parody Call, email or drop in anytime jparody@tmsschool.ca 905 780 1002 3382