Hope and a Future Magazine Edition 5

A seat for everyone at the table

Why everything at TLG comes back to family, including our newest programme Make Lunch.

Special TLG Make Lunch aunch edition! l

One, big, happy family?

New Wine’s Paul Harcourt considers whether the church does family well.

Space to be Me - Joe's Story

Brand New from TLG - Make Lunch!

Full Up, No Longer Fed Up - Marcie & Joanne’s Story

Paul Harcourt - Church: one, big, happy family?

Everything Has Changed - Jay’s Story

Play Your Part

“Twins?!”

Imagine our reaction after hearing that word.

We were just expecting a big baby. I now know that when you’re at the 20 week scan and the radiographer says twins, he’s not joking! When we arrived home from the hospital, it took less than twenty-four hours for us to make the SOS call to our mums and sisters: “Help!”

I remember so vividly how they swept in and gave us the loving support we really needed. We couldn’t have done it on our own. It was family that made all the difference in our hour of need.

TLG is all about bringing hope and a future to struggling children. But invariably, wherever there’s a struggling child, there’s a family in need of our support too. I’m pleased that as you read the stories of Joe, Marcie & Jay in this edition of the magazine, you’ll see the difference that the support of TLG has made to their whole family too.

That’s why I’m so excited by Make Lunch, the latest TLG programme to support churches by equipping them to reach out to children and families going hungry during the school holidays. You’ll be able to find out all about it and how you can get involved on page 6.

Lastly, it’s fantastic to be welcoming Paul Harcourt, National Leader of the New Wine network of churches, as our guest contributor on page 10. Paul’s heart to see local churches transforming lives aligns so perfectly with TLG’s vision and it’s brilliant to see more and more New Wine churches partnering with TLG.

Whether you pray, give, or support in another way, I’m so pleased that you’re part of our TLG family. Together, we are transforming lives for good.

Tim Morfin TLG Chief Executive

Tim leaving hospital with his newborn twin sons, Josh and Dan, in 2003

Space to be me

When Joe struggled to fit in at school, it was his TLG coach Phil who helped him to be confident in who he was made to be and unlocked his passion for the great outdoors.

For Joe, fitting in was difficult. School wasn’t an easy space for him and he struggled to settle there.

“Joe would always be up and out of his seat,” explains Bonnie, Joe’s mum. “He’d be disrupting other children and the whole lesson really. He struggles with things like being organised too and social situations

are challenging for Joe. He’s easily swayed by others and then he gets into trouble. It was worrying for Joe’s dad and me.”

Help came just in time, shortly before Joe moved on to senior school, when he was offered support from Phil, a TLG coach from the church in the neighbouring village.

“When Phil came along it was a huge release because I knew Joe would have someone to talk to if he was struggling that wasn’t me or his dad. Joe used to struggle sleeping. He’d be worried about the next day. But since Phil’s been meeting Joe in school, all that has changed. He sleeps better now because he knows that he’s got Phil supporting him and he gets so excited.”

Based in mid-Wales, Phil’s life working on a farm captured Joe’s attention immediately. Because of the friendship that’s grown between Phil and Joe’s parents, he’s been able to offer Joe some work experience on his farm.

“Joe absolutely loves helping Phil on the farm. He gets to do all sorts of interesting things like cutting the cows’ hooves. I can’t think of anything worse myself! Joe’s got a real passion for farming. He has done ever since we moved to Wales. Everyone on the farm has been amazed by his enthusiasm and energy for farm work. That’s been such a relief to me. When he’s struggled in school, I’ve worried how he’ll cope afterwards and whether he’ll be able to find work. Now I know that Joe’s got a future and that he doesn’t have to be academic.”

Joe used to struggle sleeping. He’d be worried about the next day. He sleeps better now because he knows that he’s got Phil supporting him and he gets so excited!

- BONNIE, JOE’S MUM

By simply getting alongside Joe in school each week, Phil’s support has meant so much to the whole family.

“It’s been a godsend to me because I know school is now a more positive experience for Joe. His school report is good and it says his behaviour’s good too. It could have been so different if he didn’t have Phil and I don’t think Phil understands how much he does to give Joe peace of mind.

I can’t sing the praises enough of what’s being done for children who are like our son. To have somebody there for him, that’s not just me or his dad, I just appreciate it so much.”

Phil is from a team of coaches at St Mary’s, a village church in Powys. With children struggling in rural areas as well as big cities, your church could transform lives through TLG Early Intervention. Visit tlg.org.uk/early-intervention to begin your journey.

Photography by Natalie Overthrow

Phil (coach) and Joe on the farm

Ian (dad), Bonnie (mum) and Joe

School holidays aren’t just a break from the classroom. For thousands of children, they are also a break from a hot meal.

“

With over 1.5 million children eligible for free school meals and 4.1 million children living in poverty across the UK, holiday hunger is a rapidly growing issue with shocking consequences for a whole generation of children.

37% of teachers spot signs of malnourishment when children return from the school holidays.

- NATIONAL UNION OF TEACHERS SURVEY ON HOLIDAY HUNGER, 2017

But there is hope through the local church!

In 2011, a small team led by ex-primary school teacher Rachel Warwick began Make Lunch in response to the heart-breaking child poverty she’d noticed in the UK. The team have already made a huge impact tackling holiday hunger by enabling churches to provide hot meals for those that would miss out in the school holidays. In fact, since Make Lunch began, over 70,000 meals have been served through churches across the UK that believe that no child should go hungry.

This is where we want to bring you in on some HUGE news!

We are so excited to share that Make Lunch has become fully part of the TLG family, enabling us to bring hope to even more communities across the UK.

With over 50 existing churches already joining in the fight against holiday hunger and plans afoot to train hundreds more in the next three years, Make Lunch strengthens TLG’s mission to bring hope and a future to struggling children. Plus, in the media, we’ll be doing all we can to highlight the urgent need to tackle holiday hunger and offer hope to families living through the stressful uncertainty of food poverty.

The need is great, but our vision is greater. We’re believing that the UK church will step up and feed the millions of children going hungry in all corners of the country.

I love TLG’s commitment to serving the children and families in the best possible way, and all clearly rooted in their strong Christian faith. I can’t wait to see Make Lunch thrive and grow with TLG. In the six years I led Make Lunch, we delivered enough meals to feed 6% of children registered for Free School Meals just once each. That’s a lot of meals but there are still so many more kids to feed every day.

By the end of primary school, children that receive free school meals are estimated to be almost a year behind their more affluent peers.

- DEPARTMENT FOR EDUCATION

There are children in your community who will go hungry during the school holidays this year. Will your church act now to play a huge part in filling the holiday hunger gap?

Discover why a wave of churches are joining the fight against holiday hunger at tlg.org.uk/make-lunch

- RACHEL WARWICK, FOUNDER OF MAKE LUNCH

Full up, no longer fed up

Marcie is one of over a million children that receive free school meals during term-time. For her mum Joanne, it was a local church that provided the answer to her most frightening fear: ‘how will I feed my daughter?’

“I used to be petrified of the school holidays. The six-week break made me so worried.

I’m on a very low income because I’m a full-time carer for Marcie, my daughter. People say you get a lot of money being a carer. You don’t - you get enough to just about keep your head above water, but that’s it. So when the summer holiday came I’d be afraid of how I was going to feed Marcie.

Things had got so bad that Marcie’s school had put things in place for us over the school holidays. One of the things we were told about was the Make

Lunch club at the Baptist church in town. We went for the first time and it turned out to be a lifesaver for us – a complete godsend.

Marcie loves it. She gets excited when I tell her it’s lunch club. She’ll be jumping up and down and dressed by half 6, eager to get going! She loves it just as much as I do. What I really love is that, as well as a meal, it gives Marcie a safe environment to play in. It’s not safe to play out where we are. But the Make Lunch club gives Marcie the space to just be a child. That’s what everyone wants for their kids isn’t it? She’s made some great friends

All these years me and my mum haven’t been doing well. People would call me names at school but it’s better now.

- MARCIE, 7

there and I think it’s really helped her to grow in confidence around new people. Nowadays, she’ll go right up to another child and that’s because she knows she’s somewhere safe.

For me, it means I can sit down, have a brew and catch up with people from the church who run the club. It’s a break for me and for my daughter because she’s literally clung to my side 24/7. So having the club means I can pause and breathe for a minute. I cannot explain how much it’s helped me. It’s brilliant. I love it. I can’t say that enough!

I wasn’t going to church at all before but Make Lunch has made me think differently about what church can be. I’m not used to seeing churches that run fun activities. I’ve always thought of them as being straight laced. But coming to the Make Lunch club has made Marcie and I feel like we belong to a community. We’re part of an extended family, which makes such a difference for someone like me who’s predominantly on their own.

When I first started coming to church, it was a very small congregation. But now, it’s bigger every time we go. There’s more people attending the lunch club too and it’s all through word of mouth. The way I see it, the more people that go to church the more the church will expand and if the church expands the more it can put back into the community.

When it comes to the future for me and Marcie, I just hope we’ll be happy, that we belong somewhere and that we’re part of something big. Let’s see what happens. Tomorrow is a new day!”

1 in 5 children face food insecurity in the UK.* Your church could join the 50 others nationwide currently transforming lives over the holidays through a Make Lunch club. Begin your journey today, visit tlg.org.uk/make-lunch

*Unicef, 'Building the Future: Children and the Sustainable Development Goals in Rich Countries' (2017)

PAUL HARCOURT

Church: one, big, happy family?

We asked Paul Harcourt, National Leader of New Wine and vicar of All Saints’ Woodford Wells, for his thoughts on why we were created to live in family and how the Church can support those for whom the word ‘family’ comes with an emotional price tag.

I see a church describe itself outside as ‘a family’, I usually turn around and walk away”. Those are the words of a single friend of mine. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to have relationships, it’s just that her experience of how we do “family” often makes her feel more isolated rather than less! “Family” is one of those biblical concepts that so easily gets overtaken by cultural or inherited understandings. It can be used to justify an inward-looking, self-content huddle, focussed only on the needs and comfort of those already in. It’s hard to break into a family. If we’re honest, many would also say that families aren’t

places where it’s easy to disagree and can even be places where secrets are hidden so that a perfect face is always presented to outsiders.

Jesus repeatedly challenged the cultural understanding of his day. In Mark 3:33-35, he scandalised the crowd by putting his disciples above his birth family. His “brother and sister and mother” are “those seated in a circle around him”. He demanded greater love and loyalty than should be given to a father or family. Without allowing people to uncaringly neglect their own family of origin, he consistently taught that he was forming a new

community, centred on himself. As Joseph Hellerman says, “For both Jesus and Paul, commitment to God was commitment to God’s group”.

Jesus’ new community is the one for which we’ve been longing. Being made in the image of God, we were created for community. In His very nature as eternal Father, Son and Holy Spirit, God lives in relationship and the constant sharing of love. At it’s best, the human nuclear family reflects that, but is meant to be open, outwardly-turned, joyful, creative, and inclusive. Sadly, that isn’t everyone’s experience – and, even more tragically, not their experience of the Church either. As God’s new family, we’re to get it right where the world so often gets it wrong.

Perhaps the greatest danger of “church as family” is that, wanting to support the family unit, it subtly comes to mean “church is for families”, becoming an even lonelier place for single people. Or even for those whose families are different. For those who are pushed to the margins by their circumstances, church can be just another place of frustration.

I recognise something of that in my own life. Becky and I have two children, both of whom are autistic. As a result, there are many aspects of normal community life that we struggle to join in with. We can’t go to the cinema or restaurant without

special arrangements, and many activities that other families enjoy simply aren’t possible or suitable for us. Church shouldn’t be another on that list, but it is for so many!

Our family has the great advantage of being very visible in the church. As a result, we have had great support. We have a great friend, Gill, who moves in to look after our children when Becky and I need to go away on ministry (or simply for a break).

Being single, she in return enjoys joining us for Christmas, and moved in for some weeks when she was recuperating after an operation. We have other friends who support us at different times and who, we hope, also feel that we include and support them. When I tell you about my family, not everyone in it shares my DNA, but we share Jesus. It’s based on listening and loving, looking out for each other and leaving space for each others’ gifts. It’s a blessing to us, and an experience for which I think many today are looking.

1. Joseph Hellerman, “When Church was a Family” (Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2009) Churches in every corner of the UK are responding to the growing crisis of holiday hunger. To transform the lives of struggling children in your community, open a TLG Make Lunch kitchen.

Paul Harcourt is National Leader of New Wine, and married to Becky. Together they have recently written ‘Walking on Water’ about overcoming obstacles to stepping into a deeper experience of Jesus.

Everything has changed

Sleepless nights and anxious days – that’s what life was like for Louise before TLG stepped in to support Jay, her son. Now, everything has changed and the future is looking hopeful.

“J

ay was only six when he was excluded from school. He has ADHD and because of that he struggled in a mainstream environment. You’re expected to sit still for substantial amounts of time and for someone like Jay that’s almost impossible.

The exclusion had a big impact on Jay. He went from being a cheeky chap to a very angry and aggressive young boy. My self-esteem was really low. I just thought I was a rubbish parent and that it was all my fault. Over the next few years, it was so difficult to find a school that would provide the right support for him.

For Jay, it was so hard each time a school refused to take him. I’d even say it left him depressed. He wouldn’t come out of his room and I couldn’t get him to leave the house. He wouldn’t even do things he normally enjoyed doing, like swimming or dog-walking.

I wouldn’t say I was a regular churchgoer. I went at Christmas, Easter and maybe a couple of times in between. I just happened to be at church one day and they were talking about the TLG school they run. When I got home, immediately I googled it and I was so excited. Within two weeks, Jay was attending the TLG Education Centre.

As soon as he started TLG, everything changed. Now he wakes up on time because he loves school and he’s excited to go everyday. In fact, he doesn’t want to leave at the end of the day!

I used to send him to primary school and I’d just have anxiety every day because I didn’t know what mood he was going to walk through the door in. 9 times out of 10 he’d come home really angry. I used to dread him coming home from school if I’m honest. Now I pick him up from school and I look forward to it because he’s excited to tell me all that’s happened.

I think the amazing thing about TLG is that it doesn’t matter how much the kids try to push the teachers away, the teachers just respond with love. Children know if the people supporting them care about them or whether they’re just doing it for a job. That’s what makes TLG different. They really do care about these children.

Since he’s been at TLG he’s been attending the church youth group too. That’s been absolutely massive for Jay. Last year he wanted to do paintballing as a birthday party and to go paintballing you needed to have a team of ten people but Jay didn’t know ten friends to invite. It was soul-destroying for me to see

I can’t even put into words how much of a difference TLG has made in our lives. Within the space of a few months, it’s turned everything around for us.

- LOUISE, JAY’S MUM

Jay so disappointed. But since going to the church youth group, he’s made friends and that’s had such an impact on him.

He decided to come with me to church last Sunday as welI. I kid you not, I literally could not get him out of church at the end. I think there were maybe six other kids and they were just standing around, being teenagers and having a laugh. So now we’re planning his birthday party in April. He’s got friends so we’re actually able to go paintballing. He’s really excited.

He also attended his first disco as well before Christmas. He’d never ever been to a disco. They somehow managed to get him up on the dance floor. Honestly, I could have cried. It was so lovely.

I can’t even put into words how much of a difference TLG has made in our lives. Within the space of a few months, it’s turned everything around for us. It was only October that I couldn’t even get him out of his room. It’s just incredible!

I’m able to go to church regularly now too. I’ve made friends there and I attend a group on Thursday mornings with some lovely ladies who are so supportive. I’ve met people who don’t even know us that are praying for Jay. I don’t have a family so it’s nice to know I’ve got a church family to pray and look out for me. We feel settled and it’s just a really lovely feeling. I feel like we’re exactly where we’re meant to be.”

95% of young people that attend a churchbased TLG Education Centre successfully return to further education or employment. Discover more at TLG.org.uk/education-centres

Photography by Pennie Withers

Jay and mum Louise

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Pray with us

We’re so encouraged that so many of you play your part in transforming lives for good by faithfully praying for all that we do. Thank you for standing with us and believing that, with God, all things are possible.

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always”

1 Chronicles 16:11

HOLIDAY HUNGER

It’s devastating to think that, as the school holidays approach, some children will be getting ready for six weeks of holiday hunger. Pray for a new wave of churches to rise up and respond to this growing need by opening TLG Make Lunch kitchens in the school holidays.

FAMILY FAITH ADVENTURE WEEKENDS

This summer, we’ll be taking several of the families we support away on a TLG Family Faith Adventure Weekend, offering them an opportunity to grow close together and explore some of the big questions of life. For some of those attending, it will be the first time they’ve ever been away as a family. Pray for those coming along that it would be a life-changing time away that echoes into the years ahead.

STRUGGLING FAMILIES

Did you know that almost half of all children are no longer living with both their parents by the time they sit their GCSEs? Family breakdown can have a huge impact on children. Pray for strong family relationships across our nation. Remember the children for whom family life is difficult and pray that they would not be overwhelmed by the challenges of home life.

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Every child deserves hope and a future.

Nationwide, a generation of children are growing up in vital need of the life-changing power of God at work through His Church.

Unite with thousands of others on Sunday 23rd September to bring hope and a future across the UK.

TLG Sunday will inspire your church through captivating stories and compelling teaching as we prayerfully consider the children struggling in our communities.

You’ll receive a free leader’s pack and videos to show on the day. Plus, we’ll send you resources to profile the life-transforming vision of TLG and how you can get involved.

To reserve your pack, visit tlg.org.uk/tlg-sunday or call 01274 900377 to speak to our TLG Sunday team!