Anti-bullying Handbook for Parents and Pupils
Introduction This booklet aims to provide information and guidance about bullying for parents and pupils at City of London School. It has been written using advice gathered from professionals within education and the following government policy documents:
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Keeping Children Safe in Education (September 2016) Preventing and Tackling Bullying: Advice for headteachers, staff and governing bodies (October 2014) Advice for parents and carers on cyberbullying (November 2014) Keeping Children Safe in Education (September 2016)
Bullying is unacceptable and will not be tolerated at City of London School. Any member of the City of London School Community, be they pupil, employee or volunteer, has the right to learn and work without fear of being bullied. City of London School aims to create an orderly climate of respect within an inclusive community. 3
What is bullying? Bullying is behaviour by an individual or group, repeated over time, that intentionally hurts another individual or group either physically or emotionally. Bullying can take many forms (for instance cyberbullying via text message or the internet), and is often motivated by prejudice against particular groups, for example on the grounds of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, culture, special educational needs and disability or because a child is adopted or has caring responsibilities. It might be motivated by actual or perceived differences between children. Many experts say that bullying involves an imbalance of power between the perpetrator and the victim. This could involve perpetrators of bullying having control over the relationship which makes it difficult for those they bully to defend themselves. The imbalance of power can manifest itself in several ways; it may be physical, psychological (knowing what upsets someone), derive from an intellectual imbalance, by having access to the support of a particular group, or through or by the capacity to socially isolate. It can result in the intimidation of a person or persons through the threat of violence or by isolating them either physically or online.
Cyberbullying The rapid development of, and widespread access to, technology has provided a new medium for ‘virtual’ bullying which can occur in or outside school. Cyberbullying is a different form of bullying and can happen at all times of the day, with a potentially bigger audience, as people can forward on content with the click of a button. It is important to note that the wide search powers included in the Education Act 2011 give teachers stronger powers to tackle cyberbullying by providing a specific power to search for and, if necessary, delete inappropriate images, or files, on electronic devices, including mobile phones. Boys in OG to Second Form are not permitted to use mobile or electronic devices in School at any time. On arrival in School devices should be switched off and placed in blazer pockets. Boys from the Third Form upwards are not permitted to use their own mobile or electronic devices, unless expressly authorised by a teacher, except during break and lunch, and, of course, before and after school. Use of electronic devices during these times may only take place in the Form Room. However, the School encourages all boys to take advantage of the plethora of opportunities and activities available to them at School rather than using their devices during this time. 5
Safeguarding and Child Protection Incidences of bullying and/or cyberbullying may be treated as a safeguarding or child protection concern when there is reasonable cause to believe that a child is suffering or is likely to suffer significant harm.
Dealing with Bullying Prevention City of London seeks to prevent bullying in a variety of ways: •
The promotion of the School’s values and ethos, achieved through a combination of assemblies, communications with pupils, staff and parents, co-curricular activities, trips and visits, curriculum teaching, societies and clubs and a culture of respect, tolerance and kindness,
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The PSHE programme which is delivered in PSHE lessons and through discussions in form time,
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Visiting speakers for parents, carers and pupils,
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Regular training for staff,
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School membership of the Parent Zone.
Intervention •
Bullying incidents are treated on a case-by-case basis,
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Boys who are guilty of bullying will be sanctioned in line with the Behaviour Policy,
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Boys who are guilty of bullying will be given the opportunity to o face up to the harm they have done, o learn to modify behaviour so that they eliminate causing harm in the future, o develop their empathy so that they understand how others think and feel, to enable them to make reparations for the harm they have done, o pay a penalty for their actions and thus be held accountable.
The School maintains a log of bullying incidents in order to track patterns of behaviour.
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How to recognise bullying Although it may sometimes be perceived as unintentional, it is bullying if someone feels hurt because of things said about, or actions related to their ethnic, cultural or economic background, religious faith, gender, sexuality, disability, special educational need, appearance or issues in their family. When persistent, bullying can include: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Name calling, Taunting, Mocking, Making offensive or humiliating comments, Gossiping, Spreading hurtful or untruthful rumours, Laughing or sniggering at someone in an unkind way, Taking or deliberately damaging a person’s belongings, Threats and extortion, Physical violence and intimidation, Using body language inappropriately e.g. giving ‘dirty’ looks or ‘eye-rolling’, Deliberately invading someone’s personal space, Producing offensive graffiti or writing unkind notes about someone, Cyberbullying i.e. any of the above via electronic or mobile devices or social media, Sending or displaying offensive or degrading images by phone or via the internet or email, Isolating or excluding people either socially or online.
When and where is bullying most likely to happen? Bullying can take place anywhere at any time. Cyberbullying can take place in or outside School, at all times of the day, with a larger potential audience and more pupils (within and outside City of London School) involved or aware as comments or content is forwarded on and shared with one click from a computer or mobile device. In School, any bullying that does occur is most likely to happen outside lesson times in communal areas: • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Changing rooms and toilets Upper Playground Courtyard Concourse Middle School Games Room Dining Room Corridors and stairwells Form rooms Sixth Form Common Room Computer rooms (306 and DVA Building) On the journey to and from School On School visits and trips, including residential visits On social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, Ask.fm, etc.)
City of London School seeks to prevent bullying by teacher supervision of communal areas during break time and lunch. This supervision is part of the staff duty rota which is shared out amongst staff and overseen by members of the Senior Management Team. 9
What parents can do 1. Encourage your sons to report bullying. Reporting bullying is by no means to be regarded as ‘grassing’; it is absolutely always the right thing to do. 2. Talk to the School if you have any concerns about your son, his interactions with members of the school community or his use of technology. 3. Look out for signs that your son may be being bullied: being withdrawn, not wanting to go to school, avoiding meeting friends, difficulty sleeping, low self-esteem, avoiding formerly enjoyable situations, has many new phone numbers, seemingly unwanted texts or email addresses appearing on their device, unwillingness to talk or being secretive about online activities and mobile phone use.
Technology and Online (advice for parents) It is not realistic to ask your son to not use technology and to do so would deprive them of the many benefits to learning and living that technology and connectivity offer. However, there are some things that you can do to keep your sons safe and support them in their learning to navigate the complexities of a technological age. 1. Avoid allowing your son to have a smart phone or an internet or wireless enabled (3G/4G) phone until they are, at the very least, in the Third Form. It is a huge challenge for children under thirteen to negotiate the complexities of the internet, social media and communicating virtually. If they have a smart phone they can access anything, anywhere and at any time, with no
supervision. As young people live in the moment and do not always understand consequences this can lead to some behaviour that is not at all appropriate to their age and outcomes that can stay with them for a very long time. 2. Use the Friends of CLS, Parents’ Forum and other opportunities for meeting CLS parents/carers for sharing advice, guidance and experiences with other parents/carers. For example, if you can join with other parents to avoid allowing the use of a smart phone it will eliminate your son’s declaring that “everyone else has one, why can’t I?” 3. Talk to your son about how he is using technology and social media. Bear in mind that most social networks have a minimum age restriction – usually 13 – and talk to them about staying safe and responsible online behaviour. 4. Get informed about technology and social media. It is changing on a day-to-day basis 5. Have your son use the computer, internet, laptop, iPad etc. in a communal room so that you can oversee activities and get engaged and talk about them. 6. Use privacy settings, parental controls and built in internet safety features provided by the major internet safety providers. 7. Decide as a family what your rules and boundaries are concerning internet access, gaming, social media etc. and stick to them. If your son breaks the rules, impose restrictions for an allotted period of time. 8. We suggest, especially for younger children, that devices are handed in at least an hour before bed time to avoid erosion of wind-down time and to promote good sleep.
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What pupils can do 1. Be careful of ‘banter’ – think about your audience and before you speak ask yourself if the person is your friend and will understand the jokey comment or not. 2. Remember that a remark face-to-face or online doesn’t have to be intentional to cause hurt. 3. If someone is mean to you or to someone else in your presence, call it out – you can say ‘I don’t think that is a very nice thing to say/I don’t like your behaviour/please don’t say/do that’. Then walk away. If the behaviour persists then tell a parent, carer or teacher. 4. Don’t be a bystander to bullying. 5. Report bullying. Reporting bullying is by no means to be regarded as ‘grassing’; it is absolutely always the right thing to do.
Technology and Online (advice for pupils) 1. Make sure you use the privacy settings. 2. Always respect others – be careful what you say online. 3. Be careful what videos, pictures and audio you upload. Once a picture is shared online, it cannot be taken back. 4. Only add people you know and trust as friends/followers online. When talking to strangers, keep your personal information safe and your location hidden. 5. Treat your password like your toothbrush – keep it to yourself and change it regularly.
6. Block the bully – learn how to block or report someone who is behaving badly. 7. Do not retaliate or reply to offending emails, text messages or online conversations. 8. Do not forward offending emails, text messages or online conversations or images/videos or audio; this makes you complicit. 9. Save the evidence. Always keep a copy of offending emails, text messages or a screen grab of online conversations and pass to a parent, a carer or a teacher 10. Make sure you tell an adult you trust, for example, a parent, carer or teacher, or call a helpline like Childline (Tel: 0800 1111) in confidence. 11. Most social media services and other sites have a button you can click to stop bullying. Doing this can prevent a bully from targeting you and others in the future. Many services take bullying seriously and will either warn the individual or eliminate his/her account. 12. Do not join potentially offensive groups.
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Sources of Help The Anti-Bullying Alliance
anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk
CEOP
ceop.police.uk/safety-centre
Childline
childline.org.uk
Childnet
childnet.com
The Diana Award
antibullyingpro.com
Internetmatters
internetmatters.org
Kidscape
kidscape.org.uk
Get connected
themix.org.uk
NSPCC
nspcc.org.uk
The Parent Zone
parentzone.org.uk
Thinkuknow
thinkuknow.co.uk/parents
Young Minds
youngminds.org.uk
UK Safer Internet Centre
saferinternet.org.uk
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