PRICELE$$ November 2011
Inspiring Parents, Motivating Kids, Celebrating Life
Waste Not – Want Not Dave Says
Finding Gratitude
Managing Multiples Fun & Games
Wise County Wonderings www.WiseFamilyMagazine.com
CHOICES Pregnancy Resource Center • Free Pregnancy Tests & Limited Ultrasounds • Post-Abortion Education & Support • Resources for Babies • Community Referrals • Peer Counseling
Evelyn Danae, daughter of Gerardo and Maria Fernandez.
Children are a handful sometimes, A heartfull all the time. Author Unkown Readers…
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Harrison and Henry Oberg enjoying time at the beach.
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for each and every one of those people in my life. So where am I going with this? Our current society is obsessed with instant gratification. We get mad when our internet is slow. We get mad if we have to wait a few extra minutes in line. We gripe and complain when a website is down or the cable TV is out because of the weather. We want answers and we want them NOW! Very little thought is given to how we got here. Some folks show no gratitude for what we actually do have in America, opting instead to “want” more of what they don’t have. Gratitude is more than just saying “thanks.” Gratitude is part of your personal code of conduct. It is a sign of honor and respect. “Thanks” is but a small part of showing gratitude. Gratitude is an every day action. It is not something that comes through words or letters. Don’t just tell the positive people in your life that you appreciate them; show them that their efforts are not wasted on you. Show them through your success. See you next month.■
Laying Down the Law
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he most successful people in business, entertainment, and sports always take the time to give thanks to those who have assisted and guided them to where they are today. None of them got to where they are today without help. Even those who we call “self-made” have people in their past who provided insight and counsel. Showing gratitude is a sign of respect and honor for those who have played a positive part in their life. If you are reading this article, please take the time to give thanks to those folks who offered a kind word of encouragement when you were down. Stop and thank those persons who have given you an opportunity, but don’t neglect those who may have played a smaller role. Who you are today is a compilation of your own qualities as well as the influences of all others in your life. As a young lawyer, I was very fortunate to have two members of the judiciary who helped to guide me down the right path and steered me back when I strayed. I was also blessed to have attorneys on the other side of my cases that set a good example of how the practice of law should be conducted. All of that would not have been possible without my family encouraging me to do my best and giving me that extra push to do more. I give thanks every single day
James Stainton
Wise County Attorney
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On The Cover: November, 2011 In our 7th year of ‘Making A Difference’
Chloe Shephard of Bridgeport. She turned 5 months old in October.
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In This Issue: Founder: Kim Tinkham 1957 - 2010
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EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Wise County Sheriff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 940 627 5971 Severe Weather Updates . . . . . . . . . www.weather.com Emergency Preparedness Info . . . . . www.redcross.org www.MissingKids.com . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1-800-843-5678 National Child Abuse Hotline . . . . . . . . 1-800-422-4453 National Poison Control Center . . . . . . . 1-800-222-1222 National Substance Abuse Hotline . . . 1-800-662-4357 National Runaway Hotline . . . . . . . . . . . 1-800-786-2929
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Laying Down the Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Dear Readers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Dave Says . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8-9 Women’s Occupational Workshop . . . . . . 10 With Love, Naturally . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Wise County Wonderings . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Waste Not – Want Not . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Life Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Finding Gratitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Managing Multiples . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Fun & Games . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Wise Merchants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
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What I’m thankful for... by Scott Tinkham
I
recently read an article by The Washington Times Columnist Marybeth Hicks that sparked a twist on ponderings of what I’m thankful for and how I choose to view life. I have decided over the past year that when I started getting frustrated with things and situations that I was going to step back and take three deep breaths. My first deep breath is to breath in the present moment. To look around and notice the details of things around me. To Be Present My second deep breath I remind myself of the “me I want to be” My third deep breath I let go of judgment. Over the course of every week I get many opportunity’s to be “Thankful” for the opportunity to step back and take three deep breaths.
There is no magic money machine to tap for your meandering educational careers and “slow paths” to adulthood, and the 53 percent of taxpaying Americans owe you neither a degree nor an annual physical.
I’m Thankful for the person in Wal-mart with the full cart of groceries in the 10 or less checkout line.
Happy Thanksgiving Wise County
I’m Thankful for the person that drives in the left lane (the passing lane) 15mph below the speed limit because they are on their cell phone and are too “busy” to notice the parade of cars behind them. I am Thankful to live in a country where you can protest because you don’t have a job to go to because you are a professional protester. Because nothing worth having is “free.” “Protesting with signs that seek “free” college degrees and “free” health care make you look like idiots, because colleges and hospitals don’t operate on rainbows and sunshine.
These three things and many more use to stress me out but now I step back and smile and take three deep breaths. Try it next time you feel the blood rush to your ears, works for me. So with that I raise my glass to you on November 24th and say: For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, For love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
“It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.” Abraham Lincoln October 3rd 1863
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Dave Says
The weak can’t help the weak
Dear Dave, My husband and I have been married less than a year, and already we’re having huge disagreements over money. He’s got a big heart, but often he’ll just give money to friends and family. Sometimes, this leaves us short when it comes to monthly bills, paying off debt, and saving anything. I guess he thinks we’ll get by somehow, but it scares me. What can I do? - Summer Dear Summer, It sounds like he does have a big heart, and I’m sure that’s one of the reasons you love him. But this kind of behavior is completely irresponsible. What’s worse, it’s driving you crazy. At this point, you have every right to be scared and frustrated, because the message he’s sending you is he wants to take care of everyone else before he takes care of you and your family. That’s not a good idea. Broke people can’t help broke people, meaning only the strong can help the weak. At this point, you guys should be working together to get your own financial house in order. I’m talking about becoming debt-free, with a fully loaded emergency fund of three to six months’ worth of expenses in place, and something set aside for your golden years. Then, once all that has been taken care of, if you have a friend or family member in financial need, you can gift them $300 or whatever you guys agree is an appropriate amount. I’m a big giver, both at my business and in my personal life. But I’ve learned that my first gifts should go to my wife and family. After I’ve taken care of my own, then comes giving outside of the household. You guys need to take care of yourselves right now. Kill off the debt and build up some wealth so that your husband’s heart can function in that gift! - Dave
Planning for a future
Dear Dave, My husband and I are both spenders. We want to get on a plan and handle our money better, but is there anything that will help us learn to give up stuff now so that we’ll have more in the future? - Beth Dear Beth, I know what you’re talking about. Old habits are really hard to break, especially when they’re fun old habits. Even when you wake up and feel the pain and realize you shouldn’t have done something, it’s easy to slip right back into the same old stuff, isn’t it? The only way I’ve ever been able to achieve anything like that is to find something specific I want bad enough out there in the future to give up something in the present. You may have heard me say, “Live like 8
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no one else, so that later you can live like no one else.” Well, this is more a case of you have to want to live like no one else later, so that today you’ll live like no one else. I saw a bumper sticker once that read “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.” I’ve got to agree with the idea behind that. No discipline is pleasant, but it’s the pain of changing something in your life that eventually leads to a positive result. Think about it this way. A great definition of maturity is learning to delay pleasure. Ouch! —Dave
He needs love right now
Dear Dave, My husband and I are adopting my nephew. His mom is involved with drugs and alcohol, and his father isn’t in the picture. We’ve got $1,000 in the bank, and we’re in the process of paying off all our debt, except the house. Should we slow down or stop the Baby Steps temporarily, and spend more on family things since my nephew is a teenager? - Jocelyn Dear Brian, Hugs are free. Making cookies costs next to nothing, and spending quality time with a young man or woman doesn’t cost a thing. I call that a teenager-friendly environment. I know your heart is in the right place, but I don’t want you to fall into the American trap of thinking he’ll be happy if he has a Wii or you take expensive vacations every year. It sounds to me like he’s coming straight out of a big mess. He wants and needs someone to put their arms around him, tell him he’s a good guy, and teach him how to grow into a strong man. Doing some affordable family things once in a while is okay, if you can make it work with your budget. But I wouldn’t spend a bunch of money to try and prove that you love him. You’ve already proven that by bringing him into your home and making him part of your family. Continue cleaning up your finances. Then, when you’ve actually got some money to spend, you all can do some really cool stuff together. You guys are awesome! - Dave
Pre-nup…yes or no?
Dear Dave, How do you feel about pre-nuptial agreements? - Anonymous Dear Anonymous, When I first started financial counseling, I told people to never get a pre-nup under any circumstances. Basically, I felt the whole process was like planning your divorce in advance. I still feel that way to a degree, because if money is more important to you than the person you
they’re in control of their lives. As their parents, you should love them more than that, because they’re just not ready to be in full control. You want them to be in control of some parts of their lives, so that when they leave they have a clue about life and don’t boomerang on you. But at that age, you should be guiding them, and you don’t need an ownership document to a car confusing them about who’s in charge. I turned the ownership over to my kids when they turned 18. In each case, I knew I could trust them, and they were ready for that level of control. So, once they’re ready—and you know they’re ready—if it’s going to be their car, all the accompanying responsibility should be theirs, too! - Dave ■
Dave Says
supposedly love, then you don’t really love them and you have no business getting married. I’ve changed my stance a little bit, though, and now I feel a pre-nup may be in order under one condition: If there are substantial assets in one person’s name. By “substantial,” I mean $2 million or more. I’ve counseled several wealthy people, some of whom were heading into a second marriage. It’s not that wealthy folks are weird or necessarily greedy, but sometimes they attract weird and greedy people. In these kinds of cases, I’m okay with a pre-nup. But I still think you should love somebody enough to be willing to take a bullet for them if you’re thinking about marrying them. - Dave
Do car titles go to teenagers?
Dear Dave, Our 15-year-old has saved his money, and he’ll buy a car next year. When he buys it, should the title be put in our names or his? - Laura Dear Laura, When my kids hit that age, I put the titles in my name. The insurance will be much less expensive if you do this. Plus, you don’t want a 16-year-old under the illusion that
Dave Ramsey For more financial help, please visit daveramsey.com
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Women’s Occupational Workshop
Gratitude is the ultimate gift “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” - William Arthur Ward
H
ow long has it been since you thanked your children for their help? How long has it been since you expressed gratitude to your spouse for simply being who they are? How long has it been since you stopped and thanked your staff or employees for doing a good job, even a job required of them? Too often, we forget to notice and give recognition for the daily and the ordinary “gifts” of time or self or service. We tend to think that people ‘ just know’ they are appreciated. Trust me, they forget! I find it takes very little time and energy to be grateful. It simply takes attention. I’m not talking about false thankfulness. No, I challenge you to stop and make gratitude a required part of your day. Every day. Look for reasons to be grateful. Don’t wait for a celebration season to spark thankfulness. Make it, instead, a part of your personality. Like civility, gratitude improves the world we share. It is remembering that you are not alone in your tasks. If you find yourself too busy to notice the gift of others in your life, I believe that you may be too busy. I know it won’t be easy for everyone at first, but how much more decent and compassionate would your world be, if everyone felt appreciated; if everyone felt recognized for their efforts. William Ward was correct when he reminded us that feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a
Keitha Story-Stephenson, Ph.D. Keitha Story-Stephenson, Ph.D. owner of BlueSky Wellness Center, provides private consultation for individuals and corporations in Nutritional Wellness, Weight Management, ADD/ADHD Nutritional Management, and other Alternative Health Care; including private, alternative individual behavior therapy. Services are available by appointment in Decatur at 506 West Walnut. Call 817-2399525 for appointment or visit us at www. BlueSkyWellnessCenter.com for more information. Follow us on our Blog, www. DrKeitha.com or www.MerchantsCircle.com . Also, tune in to Christian Radio, KDKR 91.3fm, on Saturdays at 1:30, for “Feeding the FamilyMind, Body and Spirit” or go to KDKR.org for live streaming of our broadcast.
gift and not following through with giving it. All people need reassurance for their existence. It is empowering and uplifting and encouraging. Gratitude also reaffirms an individual of their growth and success. This truth applies to both family dynamics and work relationships. If you are never recognized for a job well done, a person finds themselves unsure of their effectiveness. Gratitude is powerful. To the recipient, gratitude encourages excellence and honor. To you, it reminds you of the efforts around you, the depth of beauty your life possesses and increases your appreciation of others. Win, win!! Try to recognize opportunities to spread gratitude around. Don’t be a turkey, make it Thanksgiving all year long. ■
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. ~ W.T. Purkiser
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November 5, 2006 Jaika, My little baby. How I love you. Although you demand plenty of my attention, sometimes I want to go hold you when you’re sleeping. I’ve carried you hours and hours in my sling carrier and I love having you there, close to my heart. You are so special. God made you for a special reason. He saved you for a purpose (note: she was born with a knot in her umbilical cord). I am honored that He put you in our home. I love being your Mommy. And Jaika, just so you know, Daddy and I weren’t “trying for a boy” and ended up with you as everyone assumes. Long ago, we gave our family over to the Lord and he decided to give us four girls (so far!) and we LOVE it! Love you, Mommy ■ Wendy Fowler Wendy Fowler is a Certified Doula (Professional Childbirth Coach) and Childbirth Educator with a passion for helping young families thrive. She is a Texas Woman’s University graduate with a degree in Family Studies, but she gets most of her experience in the trenches raising five daughters out in the country with her husband Shane. For more information on the services she offers, visit her website at www.doulawendy.com.
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With Love, Naturally
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hen our first daughter was born over 14 years ago, we were told we needed to savor every moment since they are so fleeting. In my mind, the cure for the time flying by at top speed was this idea of savoring. I proceeded to soak up every minute of new mommyhood, thinking I would do all I could to keep it from going by too fast. May I be clear to you, savoring does not for one minute slow down the years, but savoring is still a noble goal. While every woman remembers her births, there are details she’ll forget if it’s not written down. My baby gift to pregnant moms is a journal so mom can chronicle her journey. I love the idea of writing letters to our children to be delivered when they have their first child. Tell your child about those first moments you felt her move within you and what you thought when you saw her for the first time. Writing your experiences down allows you to savor it in the moment and again and again through the years. For some inspiration, I will share with you one of my letters. This one happens to include the influence of our faith, what a gift to pass on to an adult child someday!
The Family Album
3rd grade Coach Shetter and Ryan Barnett (#30).
Katelyn Grace Starnes having fall fun at Black Creek Pumpkin Patch.
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Wise County had two black citizens involved in the Civil War? Randolph Veasy was familiarly known as “Uncle Ran”, a well liked musician who played for many of the dances held in and around the area. We searched for his violin but was told it was sold to a Miss Ingram, and the last known it was in probably Waco. Mr. Veasy served as body guard to General Cabell during the War. In 1868 he was captuured by Indians, and spent three months with them until his freedom was secured through negotiations by “Negro Britt” a famous character written about in the “Pioneer History of Wise County”. If my memory serves me correctly he married his wife in Parker County when she was 13. She was still living when I began working with the Wise County Historical Commission in 1965. He is buried in Decatur’s Oak Lawn Cemetery. Charley Arthur according to an article found at the Wise County Heritage Museum, served in Company K, Fifth Infantry, and was to receive a pension from the Federal Government. It is believed he may have served in the Union Army, as the Confederate states paid their soldiers. After the war he served at forts in West Texas. While at Fort Clark he helped to dig out a spring at the head of Los Moras River that furnished water and fine fishing sport for a company to which the writer of the article and a number of Decaturites belonged for more than thirty years. Who wrote the article and what newspaper printed it? ■
Wise County Wonderings
Did You Know…
Rosalie Gregg Rosalie Gregg was born near Hayden, New Mexico. Ms. Gregg graduated from Paradise High School and from Decatur Baptist College. She married Robert Nolen Gregg, Jr., who had been a Prisoner of War for 3-1/2 year during which time he helped build the railroad that led to the Bridge over the River Kwai in Thailand. Ms. Gregg has been involved with the Wise County Heritage Museum since its inception in 1967. www.wisehistory.com
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice. ~ Meister Eckhart 14
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Wagoner Family (Meredith, Kirk, Grant 7, and Griffin 4). Cole Carpenter of Bridgeport.
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Waste Not — Want Not! 16
Go Green this Holiday Season!
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hink outside the box this holiday season. Even if you aren’t a very crafty or creative person, or have never thought much about “Going Green,” the holidays are a great time to start! Those who are seriously into preserving the environment often cringe at the mere thought of all the waste that goes along with the holidays, such as not so eco-friendly gifts, wrap and dispensable party wares. I’ve come up with a few simple solutions to give you the opportunity to have a healthier holiday season. Not only will you help preserve the planet in the long run, but you may even save a few bucks by using some of the belongings you already own and incorporating them into your holiday décor. Decorations Think long term. Eliminate wasteful paper products and disposable pans and other bake wares. Purchase or use glass cookware and dinnerware. Invest in cloth items such as cloth napkins, placemats and tablecloths or make them yourself from fabric. Hint: if you purchase blue or red fabric items, they can be used many times through the year for other holidays or everyday use. Collect pine cones for free. Bring the outdoors in! Decorate the house with live greenery—the best choices are herbs such as basil and rosemary, which have a wonderful fragrance, and you can use them for cooking all year long. Look in your kids rooms for decoration ideas. Whoever said you couldn’t build a menorah or tree decoration out of Legos? Or a cool snowflake scene from an Etch-a- Sketch or Lite Brite! Christmas Trees Get a live tree that you can have in your house and then plant outside after the holidays—in your yard or somewhere else. The planet needs more trees and they sequester carbon. Real trees are a renewable, recyclable resource. Artificial trees contain nonbiodegradable plastics and possible metal toxins such as lead. (Please read the warning labels.) Grow it yourself: Plant a few seedlings each year, and, in a few years, you will have your own tree that you can bring in for the holiday season. Save Money Energy: Attach your indoor and outdoor lights to a timer, and program them to be on only for the several hours in the evening when people will see them. Wrapping paper: Wrap presents with recyclable wrapping paper or get creative and make your own. Gifts can be wrapped in newspaper, fabric or make use of some of your child’s artwork that you have
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been holding onto! How about putting your gift in a reusable bag? Cards: Make your own holiday cards! Recycle children’s artwork or use some of the cards from last year. Or make your own recycled paper! Take old newspaper, mix it with water in a blender and pour out over a screen and set out to dry. Try sprinkling some seeds in it and the recipient can just plant the card! How clever! Gifts: If you must purchase a gift, look for items made from recyclable material. Give gift certificates for goods or services you know the recipient will use. Shop consignment stores! Not only will you help keep items recycling, but you will also save some money too! Think Green – Great gift ideas include water bottles, plants, battery chargers, cloth napkins, energy saving light bulbs and a reusable shopping bag. Better yet, create your own “green” bag and put a bunch of small items in a reusable shopping bag. Make Something! Whether it’s a cake, pillow, home accessory, scrapbook, painting, ornament or scarf—be creative. Some of these ideas are great to continue on throughout the year at any other gift giving time or holiday. The kids can easily pitch in and may even come up with some new clever ideas to reuse items and to help save you some money—and to cut down on waste. ■
Kara Ferraro Kara Ferraro is a publisher and freelance writer with two elementary aged children. She is always looking for clever, budget friendly activities to do with her family and ways to save money.
Just imagine… If every family reused just two feet of holiday ribbon, the 38,000 miles of ribbon saved could tie a bow around the entire planet. If every American family wrapped just 3 presents in re-used materials, it would save enough paper to cover 45,000 football fields. The 2.65 billion Christmas cards sold each year in the U.S. could fill a football field 10 stories high. If we each sent one card less, we’d save 50,000 cubic yards of paper. Consider sending an electronic card. www.use-less-stuff.com and www. recycleworks.org
The Family Album
Dawson, grandson of Doug and Penny Baisden, is a little stinker!
Twins Loralai and Noah Lee with Mom Jamie Lee at the Black Creek Pumpkin Patch.
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Life Skills Holiday Entertaining – Part 1
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ntertaining is not exclusive to the holidays, but the holidays do invite more opportunities to entertain. For some, entertaining is as easy as breathing. For others, the thought of inviting guests into their home for a meal is breath-taking! All the cleaning, shopping, cooking, and then cleaning again become overwhelming and stressful. It is simply easier to go to a restaurant and let someone else handle the details. As lovely as a meal out can be, however, it can never replace the warmth and intimacy of a meal shared around a family table. To entertain with style does not require the best linens, perfectly set table, finest cuisine, or grand home. What it does require is a host and guests who are kind and thoughtful, and understand that true hospitality is a gift given from a generous heart. The Happy Host A happy host begins with the end in mind. The goal is to nurture established relationships as well as cultivate new ones. For your guests to have a pleasant experience, you must have a pleasant experience, and that requires thoughtful preparation. If you are not a seasoned host, it is best to start small. Remember, this is not about putting on a show; it’s about sharing who you are. Entertaining starts with an invitation. For a casual event you may call your guests and provide them with the details of a date, time, and place. It is always a good idea to ask your guests if they have any food requirements you should be aware of. You would not want to serve a shrimp pasta dish to someone who was deathly allergic to shellfish. What to serve? Anything you and your guests will enjoy! Thankfully, there is no rule that you must personally prepare each dish from scratch when you are a host. Whether you lack cooking skills, or simply do not have the time, there are plenty of options available to you – from prepared food at your local supermarket to take-out from your favorite restaurant to hiring a caterer. Simply place the food on your own dishes, and dinner is ready! If you do enjoy cooking and have the time, terrific! Think through all the details. How and when will you serve the food? Where will everyone sit? What about lighting and music? Will you include candles and flowers? If you do, use only unscented candles and flowers where food is served. Is your home neat and clean? While no guest should be doing a white glove test when they arrive, they should be greeted with a clean environment. Will the evening include food and interesting conversation, or will
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you play a game – or watch a movie? What time will the evening end? And don’t forget to plan ahead for what you will wear. There is nothing more stressful than trying to find something to wear at the last moment. Being a host is a gift of love and does require effort. By keeping your focus on the goal, thinking through the process, and having as many of the details handled before your guests arrive, you are well on your way to being a happy host. A happy host enjoys her guests and makes them her focus. ■
“It requires as much skill and genius to entertain friends as to defeat an army.” - Paulus Aemilius, Roman General Deborah King, AICI CIP Deborah King is President of Final Touch Finishing School, Inc. which she founded in 1989 in Seattle. As a certified image professional, with over 30 years of experience, she presents her programs nationally and internationally for youth and corporate clients. She is co-author of “Image Power” and “Executive Etiquette Power” and developer of several education tools. www.finaltouchschool.com.
Wise Pediatrics
940-626-4400 A Specialist for your children as they grow!
Leslie Hollis, MD
Board Certified in Pediatrics since 1999 Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics
Accepting Most Insurances Call if you have any questions
609 Medical Center Dr., #2300 Decatur, Texas 76234 Attached to Wise Regional Hospital www.WisePediatrics.com
Finding Gratitude
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And Allowing Thankfulness to Unlock Joy
re you happier now that you are a parent? A couple years ago, Florida State University sociology professor Robin Simon created a stir with her suggestion that “bundle of joy” is perhaps inaccurate for most parents. “Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers,” indicated Simon, whose parenting study concluded folks with the significantly greatest emotional well-being were those who had never had children. Wait a second! Can all those baby shampoo commercials with shiny happy moms bathing smiling Stepford children be wrong? Sure kids trigger negative emotions. But Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert and author of Stumbling on Happiness (2007) suggests although kids may not increase our average daily enjoyment, “they bring transcendent moments that outweigh all the hard work.” Beyond Warm and Fuzzy The day-in, day-out job of parenting is far from romantic. But if you’ve ever watched a toddler chase a butterfly or been asked, “Will I need my clothes in heaven?” then you also know happiness can wash over you in little moments here and there. In fact, such moments are not really so little. Blissful, fleeting moments make life rich. Psychologists Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener coined “psychological wealth” in Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth (2008) and define it as “the experience of well-being and a high quality of life.” How do we become more psychologically wealthy? See what’s good in the world (those magical times with our kids) but be grounded in reality (kids are expensive and stressful!). The wealthy are engaged in activities they believe are meaningful. They apply their strengths to these activities. As Christine Carter, author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (2010), reminds: “What we say and do with our children is far more important in determining their success and happiness than any Godgiven talent or innate disposition.” Contentment is Cool Contentment may not have a sexy ring to it, but Don Lucas, Ph.D. in his book Being: Your Happiness, Pleasure and Contentment (2009), says it is worth aspiring to. “Contentment is associated with everlasting positive emotions. Contentment is not associated with being idle, lazy or giving up.” Think about it. Much of parenting involves positive, enduring emotions. It entails hard work and perseverance. For parents, contentment motivates our behavior and empowers us to get more accomplished. Lucas asserts, “True happiness is a social thing. If the people who are close to you are not happy or not happy with you — you’ll have a tough time being happy.”
Finding Your Happy Place How do we increase happiness? By becoming more focused on the positive, more intentional in our attempts to savor parenthood and more grateful for the gift that is our kids. These tips may also help. Sleep more. “Put on your own oxygen mask first and then help those around you” is how sociologist Christine Carter terms it. Taking care of your family takes a lot out of you. You’ve heard “nap when baby naps” a thousand times, but it’s important. It’s tempting to stay up when the house is peaceful, but try to go to sleep at the decent hour your school kids go to bed. If possible, work out a shift schedule to get up with your infant. Try to sleep an extra hour each night and watch the magical effect a less tired, new and improved you has on your family. Recognize parenting is stressful. It’s easy to feel guilt for all those moments you don’t “feel” happy, but it’s completely normal. In their book The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living (2008), Russ Harris and Steven Hayes reassure that feeling unhappy does not mean you are defective. “The normal thinking processes of a healthy human mind will naturally lead to psychological suffering. You’re not defective; your mind’s just doing what it evolved to do.” Happiness doesn’t mean eliminating negative feelings; it is being prepared to cope with those feelings. Communicate better with your partner. Parenting is stressful on a relationship. Diener and Biswas-Diener remind us that the quality of our lives will suffer if we neglect to develop all the aspects of our true psychological wealth — one of which is loving relationships. Encourage each other. Talk about the highs and low of raising kids. Laugh at the daily craziness which is family life! Think gratitude. It’s more than saying grace at mealtime. Counting your blessings every day helps you remember happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. Carter writes “We can teach our children happiness habits, such as consciously practicing gratitude….Most important we can model happiness in ourselves.” Consider writing a love note expressing your gratitude for your kids when you have a free moment. Leave the note on a pillow, and if your child is young, read it aloud. See the big picture. Gilbert says, “It’s easy to get caught up in the details, but you need to step back and realize how empty your life would be without these people in it.” ■
Michele Ranard, M.Ed. Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling and a blog at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com.
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3 Must Haves for Managing Multiples
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have 4 children. 2 singletons and one set of twins. The day I saw 2 heads on that ultrasound screen was a huge aha/uhoh moment. I knew life would never be the same, but didn’t quite know what would be different. The phrase organized chaos sums it up nicely. Out of a desperate sense of needing to control something, I discovered a few tricks to multiple mommying. 1. Magnetic notepad on the fridge Let me tell you, this $1 item has saved my sanity many times. Since we brought home 2 more people, not only do we go through “stuff ” at an alarming rate, I’ve noticed my memory for little things, like buying toilet paper or paying the electric bill on time, isn’t quite what it used to be. The trick is to run to the fridge immediately after realizing what the needed item/ errand is. Write it down, quick, before another request comes in for strawberry milk, juice, animal crackers, first-aid, bathroom assistance, to break up a fight, fix a toy and on and on and on. This morning I needed 2 band-aids for blisters on my heels. Unfortunately, we only had Spiderman band-aids. I took a deep breath, applied them to my boo-boos, walked to the fridge and added band-aids (for grown-ups) to the list. Obviously, this item should have already been on the list, but I digress. 2. Extra laundry basket I have a laundry basket that doubles as a “stuff” transporter. It is used to carry items to and from daycare, preschool, friends’ house, beach day, playgrounds etc. With so many little ones and all of their little stuff, trying to keep track of it all is mind boggling at times. After losing the best blanket on planet earth and the hysterics that followed, I had to come up with something. I know some people think it is strange and it became kind of a joke at preschool. I sometimes walk in the door and hear, “Mrs. Mitchell is here with her laundry basket!” but I (almost) always leave with everyone’s lunch boxes, sippy cups, blankets, school work, art projects, home work, re w a rd s f ro m t h e treasure chest, and dirty clothes. It seems to help the kids too. They know if they want it to come home, it better be in the basket.
When we walk into the house, the basket comes with us. Everyone’s shoes come off the feet and go into the basket. Lunchboxes cleaned out and into the basket. Take home folders emptied and back into the basket. The basket has its assigned place in laundry room and there it stays, until the next day. 3. Patience/a sense of humor I tie these together because I have found that laughing is relaxing and fills me with patience. When I am patient, I enjoy my children a lot more. Plain and simple, right? Right! And easier said than done. I remember one evening I was feeding the twins in their high chairs. One was happy with a glob of food dribbling all over the place while the other one was crying for more. I fed the crying one. Now that one was happy but by then the other one had swallowed their glob and was crying for more. Scoop food, shovel in mouth, scoop food, shovel in mouth. One happy, one crying. One happy, one crying. Back and forth and back and forth. I took a deep breath and hollered to my husband (who was in the kitchen making dinner for the rest of us) “Get the camera out, honey. Someday this will be funny!” During the photo shoot, something happened. Things settled down again. We all found some patience to get us through to the next event. Somehow, we all managed, and continue to do so every day. P.S. Kudos to all of those mommies out there with triplets, two sets of twins, quads and (gasp) more! I have no idea how they do it! ■
‘Supporting’ the future by supporting our youth.
DECATUR TIRE STORE & SERVICE CENTER
Your Steel Warehouse, Catering to the Aggregate & Oil Industry Bridgeport Steel & Supply 323 PR 1400 • Bridgeport, Texas
940.683.4940
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Heather Mitchell Heather Mitchell is a sleep-deprived, yet loving, wife, mother of 4, healthcare professional and writer. She spends her spare time playing at the local parks and playgrounds.
For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
B.W. Stone, owner
A GOOD DEAL ON A GREAT TIRE ®
Convenient Store Hours Mon.-Fri. 7:30 am - 5:30 pm Sat. 7:30 am - noon 940.627.3657 1201 N. Hwy. 81/287, Decatur
The Family Album
Boyd Middle School – 8th grader Dylan Powers intercepts the ball and runs it for a touchdown against Pottsboro!
Brilee Nichole Evans 8 months old. Parents are Jason Evans & Teela Mills of Bridgeport.
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Fun & Games Across 1. Singer’s function 4. Catty comments 8. Simulated 14. Type of steroid 16. Mainstay 17. Win in an upset 19. Lightweight crease-resistant fabric 20. Arab nobleman 21. Possesses 22. Refreshed 24. Term start 26. Featherbrain 29. Capricorn, e.g. 34. Venerable 38. Last name in pool legends 40. Sports building 41. A must-do when dieting 44. Shampoo brand 45. Prefix for dynamics 46. Detect 47. Word with buddy or honor 49. National League squad 51. Word with force and mail 53. Remedies for the cold shoulder? 58. Fundamentals 62. Charges 65. Giacomo Puccini specialty 66. Resume boozing 69. ‘’Taxi’’ or ‘’Seinfeld’’ role 70. Cornwell or Clancy, e.g. 71. How one might feel after a sprint 72. Mimicked 73. Long Island drink Down 1. Distinctive taste 2. Accustom 3. They meet at corners 4. Sentimentalized nostalgically 5. Impish one 6. Better half, often 7. Rip-off 8. Liveliness 9. Spasm 10. Choral part 11. Blush 12. Post a gain 13. Carrie Nation’s supporters 15. Ink problem 18. Vigor 22
onlinecrosswords.net
23. Tip, as a topper 25. Standoff 27. Floppy contents 28. Partner of this and that (with‘’the’’) 30. Mesabi loads 31. Quick look-see 32. Wild about 33. Dramatis personae 34. ‘’Heidi’’ setting 35. Jackson 5’s hometown 36. Spots 37. Lunkhead 39. Withered 42. Circus performer? 43. Plants grass slab by slab 48. Somewhat upset 50. Put away 52. Sports official 54. October birthstone
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55. Within permitted bounds 56. Jagged 57. Fe or Catalina 58. ‘’___ Good Men’’ (1992) 59. Indonesia island 60. Scottish family 61. Performed a glissade 63. Laboratory heating device 64. Commercial establishment 67. I, to Claudius 68. Twilight
Name
Wise Merchants Association Membership Benefits The Wise Merchants Association was founded in June 2009 by Kim Tinkham to help local businesses weather the recession. The goal of this Association is to allow merchants to share ideas, problems and solutions with other merchants. Our Association meetings are structured to provide information, education, and motivation for business owners, as well as networking opportunities. We believe in having local merchants support each other and in keeping shopping dollars local. Our Association does not compete with the local Chambers, and actually partners with them on occasion for special events. We are a unique Association with the only goal of providing business owners information they need to grow their business! Membership Benefits: • Motivational speakers • Training • Informal meetings • Networking opportunities • Excellent sponsors • Supportive members • Business owner focused
Additional Business Benefits: • Highly recognized by the Wise County Clerk and Wise County Attorney • Recommended by many local organizations • Discounted advertising in Wise Family Today Magazine • Discounts on member’s products or services
Our meetings have included training for business owners in marketing, networking, social media, business goal setting, sales training, and business etiquette. We also have informal, after-hours Mixers that are a great opportunity to bring guests. Thank you to our members and we encourage you to take advantage of all of your membership benefits. If you are not a member, we invite you to join us at www.wisemerchants.org!
Company
Website
Ruby & Michael Carreiro A Day Away Retreat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.adayawayretreat.com Cathy Morris . . . . . . . . . . Aesthetic Concepts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.TexasCosmeticDoc.com Kathy Redwine . . . . . . . . Aflac . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.aflac.com Jim Tumlinson . . . . . . . . . All-American Water . . . . . . . . www.allamericanwatersofteners.com LaDonna Koerner . . . . . . Avon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.youravon.com/lkoerner Greg Roberts . . . . . . . . . . AWL Home Inspections . . . . . . . . . . www.awlhomeinspections.com Keitha Story-Stephenson DS .BlueSky Wellness Center . . . . . . . . www.blueskywellnesscenter.com Debbie Johnson Crall . . . Boot Camp Academy 101 . . . . . . . www.bootcampacademy101.com Laura Marshall . . . . . . . . Bright Ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.brightideastx.com Jack Cannon . . . . . . . . . . Cannon Realty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.cannonrealty.net Ruth Bucher . . . . . . . . . . Celestine Therapy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.celestinetherapy.com Cher Tilghman . . . . . . . . Cher Realty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.CherRealty.com Christi Shields . . . . . . . . Christi Shields Accounting Michael Dunham . . . . . . Computer Rhino . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.computerrhino.com Cut & Grow . . . . . . . . . . Cut & Grow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . cutandgrow.com Ida Mae Burnett . . . . . . . Decatur EDC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.decatur-edc.com Glenn Walker . . . . . . . . . Decatur Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.decaturmusic.com Deborah Reynolds . . . . . DediKated Resource . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.dedikatedresource.com Teresa Littlejohn Fanning Designs by Tree . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . designsbytree.com / vin-trad.com Don Dixon . . . . . . . . . . . Dixon Fine Woodworking Sandy Hall . . . . . . . . . . . Dinners on Demand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.dinnersondemand.biz Karen Turner . . . . . . . . . . Double K BBQ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.doublekbbq.com William Shea . . . . . . . . . Everprint . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . everprint.biz Chris Miller . . . . . . . . . . Farmers Insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.chrismillerinsurance.com Dora Trejo . . . . . . . . . . . . Farmers Insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.chrismillerinsurance.com Deborah King . . . . . . . . . Final Touch Finishing School . . . . . . . . . www.finaltouchschool.com Phillip K Flusche . . . . . . Flusche Auto Repair Susan Boston . . . . . . . . . . Gold and Silver Perfection . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.numisnetwork.com/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . goldandsilverperfection Karen St. John . . . . . . . . . Hampton Inn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.hampton.com Dave Jackson . . . . . . . . . . Jackson Excavation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.jacksonexcavation.com Jack Bullion . . . . . . . . . . . Juice Plus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.jackjuiceplus.com Bonnie Kohnert . . . . . . . . K-Double-K Promotional Products . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . kdoublek.com Lynn Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . Karl Klement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.klementdecator.com Deborah L. Mann . . . . . . Mann Refrigeration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.mannair.com Laura M Shaffer . . . . . . . Mary Kay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.marykay.com/LauraShaffer Lisa Chapman Brown . . . Mary Kay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.marykay.com/lbrown Melissa McAlister . . . . . . Mary Kay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.marykay.com/mmcalister John Lanier . . . . . . . . . . . Parker Properties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.parkerpropertiestexas.com Kathy Fisher . . . . . . . . . . Parker Properties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.parkerpropertiestexas.com Sherry Williams Layton . Parker Properties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.parkerpropertiestexas.com Misti Pearman . . . . . . . . Pearman Insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.pearmanins.com Maria Carrillo . . . . . . . . . Photography by Maria . . . . . . . . . . . www.photographybymaria.com Peggy Powell Lampkin . . Powell Insurance Concepts Dennis Emett . . . . . . . . . Pre-Paid Legal . . . . . . . . . . www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/dennisemett Karla Maxwell . . . . . . . . . Premier Designs Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.premierdesigns.com Robin Miller . . . . . . . . . . Robin Miller Tax Services . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.robinmillertax.com Brenda C. Morgan . . . . . Sagebrush Steakhouse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.stagecoachsteaks.com Bandy Hicks . . . . . . . . . . Scentsy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.scentedchick.com Suzanne Smith . . . . . . . . Smith Investment Group Debra Smith . . . . . . . . . . Smith Seminars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.smithseminars.com Cary Bohn . . . . . . . . . . . . State Farm Insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.carybohn.com Steven M. Williams . . . . Steven M. Williams, Attorney . . . . . . . www.stevenmwilliams.com Shawn Mitchell . . . . . . . . Swimming Instructor Mickey Doyle . . . . . . . . . Synrge Marketing Strategies . www.SynrgeMarketingStrategies.com Tammy Kelly . . . . . . . . . . Tammy Kelly Photography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.tammykelly.com Kathy O’Dell Hughes . . . Tastefully Simple and Celebrating Home Dawn Taylor . . . . . . . . . . Taylor Made Graphics & Signs . . . . . . www.taylormadegraphics.org Texas Insurance Agency . Texas Insurance Agency . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.texasins.net Debi Porter . . . . . . . . . . . The Edge in HR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.theedgeinhr.com Kayla Prock . . . . . . . . . . Timeless Graphics & Signs Matt Kramer . . . . . . . . . . Voice Mapping For The Life You Want . . . . . www.mkvoicemap.com Debbie Males . . . . . . . . . Warner-Radio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.warner-radio.com Paula Null . . . . . . . . . . . . Willow House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.paulanull.willowhouse.com James Stainton . . . . . . . . Wise County Attorney . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.wisecountylaw.com Sherry Lemon . . . . . . . . . Wise County Clerk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.wisecounty.org Tayler Ponder . . . . . . . . . Wise Family Magazine . . . . . . . . . . . www.wisefamilymagazine.com Valerie Dickerson . . . . . . Workforce Solutions-North Central Texas . . . . . . www.dfwjobs.com
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