Tidbits of Grand Forks - February 4, 2021

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Of Grand Forks • East Grand Forks February 4, 2021

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Issue # 1,205

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Lady Mary Wortley Montagu summed it all up in her last words, which were, “It has all been most interesting.” Come along with Tidbits as we ponder wills, epitaphs, and last words.

WEIRD WILLS

• When Jonathon Jackson died in Columbus, Ohio in 1880, he bequeathed his fortune for the building of a cat house— a real one. All cats were welcome to enjoy comfy beds, sumptu701-739-2403 ous dining, a conversation room, live music, 2600 DeMers Ave. rat holes for sport, vet services, and specially Grand Forks, ND designed roofs for easy climbing.

• Mary Murphy died in California in 1979, leaving her money to an animal shelter. However, a clause specified that her own pet, a collie mix named Sido, was to be destroyed upon her death, because she felt no one could take good care of it. The ASPCA challenged this clause in court; Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill sparing the dog’s life; and the judge ruled that aniDavid Kent mals have rights, too. The dog went to live with 2534 17th Ave. S. Grand Forks the ASPCA director who fought to save its life.

218-779-5458 • P.T. Barnum disliked his daughter’s conduct, dkent@nodakins.net so he bequeathed his $4 million fortune to his grandson. To his daughter he left only some land in Colorado, which he considered worthay hello to Liberty and we’ll work to get you the the mineral deposits on the land less.

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WEIRD WILLS (continued):

• John Bowman was preceded in death by his wife and two daughters, and he was convinced at his death in 1891 that they would all be reincarnated.

He stated in his will that his money was to be spent paying his servants to maintain his Vermont mansion for their eventual return. He specified that meals were to be prepared in case they should return on an empty stomach. This was done until the money ran out in 1950.

• Heinrich Heine died in 1856 and stipulated that his estate should be given to his wife only if she married again. “Then there will be at least one man to regret my death.”

• George Bernard Shaw left his estate to anyone who could invent a better alphabet. The will was successfully contested.

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Quiz Bits

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5. What kind of charge does a neutron carry?

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Which video game character When President Andrew Jackwas the first to be featured son died, why was his pet paras a giant balloon in Macy’s rot removed from the funeral?

Thanksgiving Parade?

This famous actor made a driving safety video shortly before 7. What was the former name of the African country of Zimbabwe? he died in an auto accident.

T or F: Star Trek creator Gene 8. Which Billy Joel song featured a couple named Brenda Roddenberry was the first perand Eddie, the king & son to have some of his ashes queenTRIVIA of the prom? sent into space.

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• Canadian lawyer Charles Millar died without heirs in 1927. He left his fortune to whichever woman in Toronto bore the most children in the decade following his death. This caused a competition known as the Stork Derby. The will was unsuccessfully contested by people who claimed it promoted immorality. In 1938 the $600,000 estate was divided between four mothers who had each born nine children. One winner came out in favor of birth control.

• One man distributed his wealth equally to his children, but stipulated that they all gather on the night of his funeral to burn a locked trunk hidden in his closet. The will stated that any of his children who looked in the box would be cut out of the will. Although they were all curious, they threw the box into a roaring bonfire. Minutes later, an incredible fireworks display went off as the firecrackers inside the box exploded.

• Mrs. Frederick Cook died in 1925 leaving the longest will in history: over 1,000 pages long.

Karl Tausch, a German businessman who died in 1967, left the shortest will: “Vse zene” meaning “all to wife.” ...continued

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WEIRD WILLS (continued):

• In 1948 George Harris was working on his farm in Canada when his tractor backed over him and pinned him. With his penknife he scratched on the fender of the tractor, “In case I die in this mess, I leave all to the wife.” He did die in the mess, and this unusual will was taken to court where it was declared valid.

• Poet Hans von Thummel was buried in Germany in 1824. At his request, he was laid to rest in the hollow of a large oak. The tree, still living, has enclosed his body in an organic coffin.

OVER THEIR DEAD BODIES: EPITAPHS • In New Mexico: “Hear lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.”

• An attorney in Illinois: “John E. Goembel 1867 1946 The defense rests.”

• Arthur Homan in Cleveland: “Once I wasn’t; Then I was; Now I ain’t again.”

• In a Georgia cemetery: “I told you I was sick!”

• In Novia Scotia: “Here lies Ezekiel Ailke, Age 102. The Good Die Young.”

• In Middlebury, Vermont: “Rest In Peace— Until We Meet Again.”

• In Cumberland, England: “Here lies my wife.

All my tears cannot bring her back— Therefore I Weep.”

• In Dodge City, Kansas are these two: “Played Five Aces— Now Playing the Harp” and, “Shoot ‘em Up Jake— Ran FOR sheriff, 1872; Ran FROM sheriff, 1876."

• Sternhold Oakes was an English eccentric who offered a reward to whoever could think up the best epitaph for his grave. Many entries were received, but he dismissed them all and claimed his own prize by writing: “Here lies the body of Sternhold Oakes, / Who lived and died like other folks.” ...continued *AE2S will select a location on the river between the forks and the Kennedy Bridge, and drill a hole in the ice on February 12, 2021.

If you predict the exact thickness, you will share in the 50/50 cash prize, with 50% benefiting the historic Empire Arts Center.

PSYCHIC FORESIGHT

• Duke Ferdinando of Italy was warned by a soothsayer in the 1700s that alcohol would kill him.

The Duke subsequently swore off drink for good.

In April 1749, he was massaging his muscles with rubbing alcohol after a hunting trip when the alcohol somehow ignited and he was burned to death.

• Lord Barclay of Kildonnen Castle, on an island off the coast of Scotland, was warned that he would die if he ever set foot on Irish soil. One day after tripping over a mound of dirt outside his door, he was informed that the dirt was ballast discarded by a fisherman from Ireland. He dropped dead on the spot.

• Girolamo Carano was an Italian mathematician and astrologer in the 1500s who gained some fame for casting horoscopes. He went so far as to predict the day and hour of his own death. When that day arrived with no sign of illness or death, he decided that rather than suffer the humiliation of being called a false prophet, he would rather die. He committed suicide.

• A Los Angeles doctor told a patient that he would die within the year. The patient quit his job and spent his money travelling. He failed to die within the year and sued his doctor for $40,000— and won.

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• H. L. Mencken made up his own epitaph: “If after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.”

© 2021 King Features Synd., Inc.

• Governor Hogg of Texas asked on his deathbed that a pecan tree be planted at his head and a walnut tree at his feet, and that their nuts be given away “so that they may plant them and make Texas a land of trees.” Every year since 1926 nuts have been harvested, planted, and given away to county boards and schools when they are saplings.

*Answer located further back in this issue.

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• On Feb. 14, 278 A.D., Valentine, a holy priest in Rome, is executed. Ruler Claudius the Cruel was having difficultly getting soldiers to join his military because of their strong attachment to their wives, and had banned marriages. Valentine continued to perform marriages in secret and was beheaded for it.

• On Feb. 10, 1846, Brigham Young leaves Nauvoo, Illinois, and begins leading 1,600 Mormons west across the frozen Mississippi to a temporary refuge at Sugar Grove, Iowa. It was their first stop in a westward migration that eventually brought 12,000 of them to the Great Salt Lake in Utah.

• On Feb. 12, 1912, Hsian-T'ung, the last emperor of China, is forced to abdicate. A provisional government was established, ending 267 years of Manchu rule in China and 2,000 years of imperial rule. The emperor was only 6 years old.

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• On Feb. 13, 1920, The League of Nations, the international organization formed at the peace conference at Versailles in the wake of World War I, recognizes the perpetual neutrality of Switzerland.

• On Feb. 11, 1937, after a six-week sit-down strike

by General Motors autoworkers in Flint, Michigan, GM president Alfred P. Sloan signs the first union contract in the history of the American auto industry.

• On Feb. 9, 1964, America meets the Beatles on "The Ed Sullivan Show," with an estimated 73 million Americans watching as the group made its live U.S. television debut. When they sang "She Loves You," the audience exploded in what was perhaps the most important 2 minutes and 16 seconds of music ever broadcast on American television.

• On Feb. 8, 1983, gunmen steal champion Irish racehorse Shergar in County Kildare, Ireland. The 5-year-old thoroughbred stallion was worth $13.5 million. A $2 million ransom demand was never paid, and Shergar was never seen again.

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• The human brain would be able to perform 38 quadrillion (38 thousand trillion) operations per second if it were a computer.

• Lisa Jakub, who played teenager Lydia Hilliard in "Mrs. Doubtfire," was kicked out of her Toronto school for taking the five-month-long film gig. When co-star Robin Williams found out, he wrote a letter to the school asking them to reconsider. School officials framed his letter, but didn't change their mind about Jakub.

• Pope Francis was once a nightclub bouncer in his native Argentina.

• Neptune was the first planet to be found through mathematical predictions rather than telescopic location.

• The Iberian ribbed newt uses its own bones as weapons! Special tubercles in its abdomen allow its ribs to poke out through its skin when the newt is frightened. As an added bonus, the skin secretes a toxic chemical, turning this little creature into a killer of anything that tries to bite it.

• Allodoxaphobia is the fear of opinions.

• In Ghana, people like to be buried in something that represents their lives. These include coffins shaped like planes for pilots, fish for fishermen and a Mercedes for a businessman.

• Many companies try to be as ethical and environmentally friendly as possible, but Stella McCartney bags took that initiative a step further by making some of the accessories out of corn.

• "Psycho" was the first movie to show a toilet flushing.

• As part of standard convention, pilots and co-pilots do not eat the same food before a flight in case of food poisoning (or worse). If one of the pilots is incapacitated (in other words, unable to leave the bathroom), the other pilot can take over. *** Thought for the Day: "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson © 2021 King Features Synd., Inc.

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Answer

Weekly SUDOKU

• “Michi-gama” is Algonquian phrase meaning “large lake” referring to Lake Michigan.

• The Dakota phrase “minisota” means “water that reflects the sky” and gives us Minnesota.

• “Messipi” is Algonquain for “great water” referring to the Mississippi River.

• The Latin word “montaanus” means “mountainous” and gives us Montana, which has over 50 mountain ranges.

• The Otoe tribe called an area “nebrathka” meaning “flat water” and the Omaha tribe called it “ni-ubthatka” meaning “spreading water” and the French explorers heard both these words and dubbed the land “Nebraska.”

• “Nevada” is Spanish for “snow-covered” and “Sierra” means “saw-toothed mountains.

• John Mason was an Englishman who received a land grant in 1629. He named the property “New Hampshire” after his hometown of Hampshire, England, but ended up dying before he ever got there.

• King Charles II of England gave all the land between the Hudson and Delaware Rivers to his brother, who then gave it to two of his friends. One of the friends had previously been the mayor of the Isle of Jersey, off the coast of England, so he named his new property “New Jersey.”

• The Aztecs worshipped a legendary war hero named “Mexitli” which may derive from a term meaning “agave hare.” From that came the country’s name of Mexico, leading to the state name of New Mexico.

• “Carolus” is the Latin word for Charles, and both North and South Carolina were named for King Charles IX of France.

• In the Choctaw language, “okla” means “people” and “huma” means “red” so “Oklahoma” means “red people.”

Answer

NAMES OF THE STATES

• Virginia is named after the unmarried (virgin) Queen Elizabeth I. • The word “Dakota” means “friend” and that’s what the Dakota people called themselves. North and South Dakota were admitted to the Union on the same day – Nov. 2, 1889. President Harrison had the Secretary of State shuffle the papers so he wouldn’t know which state he was signing in first, and could therefore not be accused of favoring one state over the other.

• It’s possible that the oily grease that Native Americans collected from a smelt that they called “ooligan” led to the name Oregon.

• It’s likely that two neighboring Cherokee villages, called Tanasqui and Tanase, resulted in the state name of Tennessee.

• King Charles II of England borrowed a bunch of money from his friend and admiral, Sir William Penn. When Penn died, the king owed that money to his son, William Penn, Junior. King Charles paid the debt by giving William Penn, Jr. a large tract of land in the New World in the year 1681. The King requested the new colony be named after his friend the Admiral William Penn. The word “Sylvania” is Latin for “woods” or “forest” so Pennsylvania means “Penn’s forest.”

• In the year 1614, a Dutch explorer sailing down the coast of the New World noted a number of islands, one of which had red clay shores. He named it “Roodt Eylandt” meaing “red island” which is now Rhode Island.

• The word “taysha” is a Native American term for “friendship” and gave us Texas.

• The Ute were a group of Native American tribes, and the word “ute” means either “land of the sun” or “high up” referring to the high dry lands of Utah.

• Washington is the only state named for a U.S. president.

King CROSSWORD

WONDERFUL WORDS

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King Features Weekly Service (Answers located further back)

January 25, 2021

• If you have a steel or metal door, stick a few magnets on the inside for a handy spot to attach reminders and other notes. If your door is wood, just attach a piece of corkboard to a strip of the door. With pushpins, it works the same way.

• “If you find a pretty bottle of lotion, you can refill it when it runs out. I add a little bit of essential oils to my storebrand lotion.” — G.E. in California • Remove white rings on wood tables with mayo! Slather a spoonful of mayonnaise on the spot and let it stand for an hour or so. Wipe clean. Repeat as necessary.

• Use nail polish in bright colors to mark the settings on your washer.

The nail polish doesn’t wear off like a marker might.

• Got unmatched socks? Save them for the grandkids to use for hand puppets. You can help them sew buttons on, and use yarn for hair. A barrette can be glued or sewn on for a nose.

• “Here’s a DIY softener sheet for the dryer. Just cut up an old shirt into small squares about the size of your hand. Use a sealable jar and add liquid fabric softener and water in equal parts, and then add all the squares to the liquid. When you move clothes from the washer into the dryer, take a piece, squeeze it out and toss in the dryer.

They are reusable — afterward, just put it back in the jar!” — D.R. in Florida Send your tips to Now Here’s a Tip, 628 Virginia Drive, Orlando, FL 32803.

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Beware: There is no such thing. It's a scam.

I did receive such a call. The person on the other end asked if I'd received my new card, which I'd heard nothing about, and proceeded to try to ask me a number of questions. She claimed there are a lot of fancy benefits that come with the COVID card.

In the name of research for this column, I did not hang up immediately as I usually do. Instead, I went along with the caller, listening but not providing any information. I asked where they'd gotten my name and was told they were accessing the Medicare database. I was quickly convinced it was a scam.

I hung up and called the Medicare fraud line to report it. The fraud people were very glad I did.

Other forms of COVID scams include offering fast eligibility for the vaccine, fake vaccine sign-up websites, fake testing and wellness kits, and fake contact tracers who want to know your Medicare card number.

Fact: There is no new Medicare card for COVID. Fact: Medicare isn't going to call you about anything unless you have called or written to them and asked them to contact you by phone.

If you receive a call such as the one I got, hang up immediately and then call to report it. Call 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227), or HHS at 1-800-447-8477.

As for the fancy benefits the caller promised me, check your Medicare Summary Notice or Explanation of Benefits to be sure there are no errors for items and services that you do not get.

This might be the newest scam against seniors, so spread the word among your friends. There is no "special" Medicare card for COVID.

by Freddy Groves

VA Is Rolling Out the COVID Vaccine

As of this writing, the Department of Veterans Affairs has given more COVID vaccine shots than multiple U.S. states added together. The VA started with 37 vaccination sites, quickly expanded to an additional 128 sites, and at this point has grown to 195 sites.

It followed a COVID-19 Vaccine Distribution Plan first conceived in September and firmed up in early December. In other words, they were ready the minute the vaccine was.

But the states are struggling with their logistics. How and why this is, no one seems to be explaining. The VA plan followed three basic steps: Lower the risk of infection and spread, make staff and veterans the highest priority, and ensure distribution is fair, transparent and aimed at maximizing the benefits of the vaccine. The detailed plan included lists of what needs to be done and who's doing it.

What's so hard about that?

You have to do your part, though. Yes, the initial doses are being given to medical staff and patients in VA hospitals. But I've already heard of vaccines being offered to veterans in general who are not hospitalized. To do that the VA will need to contact you. Call your health care team and be sure they have your current contact information. Also, if you have not yet taken the flu shot, ask if there is a required time delay between a flu shot and the COVID vaccine.

What we don't want to hear about the COVID vaccine is this: Even after getting the vaccine (and the second dose), you'll still need to beware. Wear your mask, scrub your hands (for one full minute, please) and stay out of risky situations. This will likely go on until a large percentage of the population has received the vaccine.

For updates, check this website: www.va.gov/healthcare/covid-19-vaccine.

*Answer located back 3 pages.

by Matilda Charles

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FAMOUS LAST WORDS

• Madame de Pompadour, mistress of Louis XV, was a few minutes from death when she shouted, "Wait a second!" She dabbed her cheeks with rouge, then died.

• Surgeon Joseph Green was dying when he noted, "Congestion." Then he took his own pulse.

"Stopped," he said, and died.

• German poet Heinrich Heine's last words were, "Write...write...pencil...paper."

• When King Frederick of Saxony was dying, the priest read to him out of the Bible: "Naked came I out of my mother's womb and naked shall I return thither." The king protested, saying, "No, not quite naked. I shall have my uniform on." Those were his last words.

• Franklin D. Roosevelt's last words, uttered on April 12, 1945, were, "I've got a terrible headache."

• Billy the Kid's last words before being shot by Pat Garrett were, "Who's there?"

• P.T. Barnum never lost his business sense. His last words were, "How were the receipts today in Madison Square Garden?"

• French grammarian Dominique Bouhours' last words were, "I am about to — or I am going to — die; either expression is used."

• Oscar Wilde's last words, as he lay in a shabby Paris hotel room, were reportedly, "Either that wallpaper goes, or I go."

• Geologist James Croll had been a severe teetotaller all his life. On his deathbed he was offered a drink of whisky. He accepted it, saying, "I don't think there's much fear of me learning to drink now."

• Spanish general Francisco Franco was very old when he lay on his deathbed. When told a friend wanted to see him to say good-bye, Franco asked, "Why, is he going on a trip?" ...continued

Solution on Next Page

FAMOUS LAST WORDS (cont.)

• When Ethan Allen lay ill, a doctor said, "I fear the angels are waiting," to which Allen replied, "Waiting, are they? Well, let 'em wait!"

• When Irish playwright Brendan Behan was on his deathbed, he looked up at the nun who was attending him and joked, "Bless you, sister.

May all your sons be bishops!"

• Composer John Field was breathing his last when his friends decided a priest was needed.

They were uncertain of his religious affiliation, however, so they asked him, "Are you a Papist or a Calvinist?" He gasped, "I am... a pianist."

DIFFERENCES:: DIFFERENCES 1. Letter on flag is missing. 2. Mustache is gone.

3. Vase is missing. 4. Drawer knob has been added.

5. Letter on shirt is different. 6. Plant has fewer leaves. © 2020 King Features Synd., All rights reserved.

• Prussian King Frederick William I was informed on his deathbed that he must forgive all his enemies or he would not go to heaven. The thought of his hated brother-in-law, George II of England, came to mind. He told his wife, "In that case, write to your brother and tell him I forgive him, but be sure not to do it until after my death."

• Spanish general Ramon Narvaez was asked by his priest if he had forgiven all his enemies. "I do not have to forgive my enemies," he retorted. "I have had them all shot."

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Quiz Answers

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Sports Answers 1. False. It was $12.

2. Devin Hester of Chicago Bears.

3. Broncos and Patriots (5 each).

4. True

5. Three 6. 49ers (5) 7. Steelers & Cowboys (3 times).

8. Vikings (4 times)

• Lawyer John Holmes had been comatose so long that the people assembled at his deathbed started to wonder if he was dead. The nurse was urged to feel his feet. "No one ever died with warm feet," someone commented. Holmes revived just long enough to respond, "John Rogers did." John Rogers was a Protestant martyr who was burned at the stake.

• Pancho Villa's last words were, "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."

• W. C. Fields was a staunch agnostic, yet on his deathbed he was discovered reading a Bible.

"I’m looking for a loophole," he explained.

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