Your local magazine for Gretna, Gretna Green, Springfield, Longtown, Carlisle, Lockerbie, Langholm, Moffat, Annan and all the beautiful towns and villages in our area.
It’s February and Valentine’s day is almost upon us. At the time of writing, I think that any celebrations will still need to be just between the couple involved, and sadly I suspect there will some who will be forced to be apart on the day. But with luck, we will soon see the end of the virus as long as we all avoid mixing. With us all having to spend longer at home, we have tried to include more for you to do or read, and included a story for the younger ones, and us older ones who are still children at heart. All advertising remains completely free of any charges and we are working on keeping it this way while businesses are still struggling to remain profitable. So should you or someone you know have any need of completely free advertising that is now reaching more and more people every month, please get them to email us. We hope you enjoy this month’s issue and we would love to hear from you if you have any ideas for articles or would like to contribute yourself. Just send us an email, or a WhatAapp message. Email: editor@tickledsquirrel.com WhatsApp: +44 7964 262 288
2
Our Thanks
As every month, our thanks go out to all the contributors to the magazine for their interesting and informative articles. Your hard work is always very much appreciated
Newsletter
Add yourself to our newsletter and make sure you are one of the first to know when each issue is published. Just click on the link below to register, all you need is your name and your email address. https://www.https:// tickledsquirrel.com/newsletter/
Get In Touch
ads@tickledsquirrel.com editor@tickledsquirrel.com Whatsapp: +447964262288 (Also Telegram & Viber) https://www.facebook.com/ Tickled-Squirrel100207221692005 Tickled Squirrel Magazine accepts no responsibility for the services, goods or work provided by any advertiser. Although we do our best to ensure that contents is correct we accept no liability for any errors or omissions. No part of this magazine, in part or whole, may be reproduced without prior written permission.
3
In This Month’s Magazine Help Free The Bears
6
A Fun Quiz
46
Dog Theft
10
Do You Know A Local Hero?
47
The Devil’s Porridge
15
Book Review
51
Did You Know?
17
Gretna FC 2008
52
Calling All Veterans and Serving Members of the Armed Forces 18
Je Ne Parle Pas Francaise
57
Comment
62
We Only Have One Planet
20
Tech Tips
64
Cyber Attacks
24
Puzzles Pages
32
Are you depressed? Where is your happiness?
66
Puzzles For Children
34
Stay On Top Of Your Finances 68
3D Noughts and Crosses
36
Puzzle Solutions
James, Almost Lost In Space
38
4
71
Would You Like To Lose Weight? Then NOW is the time to start on the path to your healthy weight There really has never been a more important time to take control of our weight and wellbeing. Obesity and type 2 diabetes are linked and both increase the risk of complications from Covid-19.
Celebrate Valentine’s With A New Transformation! Find me on Facebook at 121DietCumbria Or call me on 07970 614763 (During lockdown I work from Home)
Unit 5 Market Arcade Scotch Street, Carlisle
5
Help Free The Bears There are many ways you can contribute to saving these majestic creatures. The first thing to do is to visit their website at https:// freethebears.org/
only time for a present). You can become a bear carer with a small subscription each month.
There you will see the many ways in which you can help them. At the time of writing, most of the world is limiting travel so going along to volunteer is not an option unless you are already living near to a sanctuary, but you can sponsor a bear, make a purchase for yourself or as a gift (Christmas is not the https://www.facebook.com/freethebearsfund
Effective Website and Software Design
+44 (0) 7964 262 288 info@mellow-media.com https://www.mellow-media.com (By Design Websites is now part of Mellow Media)
6
the
Station
Kirkpatrick Fleming Abi and her team welcome you to the newly refurbished Station the well loved village pub, restaurant and bar located in Kirkpatrick Fleming, Dumfries and Galloway in the south west of Scotland.
We are still hoping to be able to offer you our wonderful Valentine’s Day special menu, but with the pandemic we do not know what will be possible. Please check with our Facebook page for the latest details, thank you.
Telephone: 01461 800410 Website: thestationkpf.co.uk
Email: info@thestationkpf.co.uk FB thestationkp
7
Welcome to Innoscent Fragrances by Joanne. The fragrances are all made from the same fragrance notes as your designer brands, minus the price tags!! NOTE - These are NOT fakes or copies - curious?
FB: innoscentfragrancesbyjoanne Shop: https://shop-uk.fmworld.com/partner/9252594 8
DW Plastering And Tiling 07711 830765
For all your plastering and tiling needs call me for Free Quotes and Advice A 2 Year Guarantee Fully insured and time served tradesman I will beat most genuine written quotes. So for an honest, reliable and discreet professional who takes pride in their work call me on
07711 830765 or message me through
Facebook: DW Plastering & Tiling Email: darran70@yahoo.co.uk 9
Dog Theft Dog theft has increased dramatically over the last few years as the prices of dogs have risen astronomically making it easy money for thieves and gangs. My first dog was a Parsons Jack Russell Terrier (a long legged Jack Russell for those that don’t know the breed) he cost me just £50 from a farm, he died at the ripe old age of 15 a few years back, today the same dog could cost you around £500+. It’s not unheard of for an average dog to cost around £1000 - £2000 in today prices and far more for specific breeds. Please consider re-homing a dog from a re-homing centre. The average cost is around £100-£150 and the dog would come all checked with a local vet, and even spayed or neutered all in the cost of the dog. A normal spay or neuter is around £100 - £250 depending on the weight of the dog so you might even be saving money, and you can even get pedigrees and puppies from a rescue centre. According to data compiled by the insurance company Direct Line, 1,931 dog thefts were reported in 2018 - a "record high" - and only 17% of these dogs were returned to their owners that’s only around 328 dogs! The Kennel Club reported a 168% increase in people searching for puppies for sale on its website from
10
Kindly written by Al Docherty the beginning of lockdown until the end of May, compared to the same period in 2019. It has been reported that Dog Thefts in 2020 have increased by 250% So you can see a huge increase in people wanting dogs, and a corresponding increase in dog thefts So what can we do? When out walking with your dog, make sure no one is following you home, be aware of someone asking questions about your dog, keep your dog on a lead when possible, thieves do wait in bushes with pieces of meat so when your dog is off the lead they lure the dog into the bushes clip a lead on and run off with them. Make sure your dog is chipped, it is a legal requirement now, so is a collar with an id disc. But do not add the dog’s name on the disc, it makes it easier for the thief to befriend the dog if they know its name. And never leave dogs tied up outside shops. Thieves mark places where there are dogs with marks as shown on the next page. They also fix cable ties and wrap wire around posts and bins to identify potential theft opportunities.
If you see any signs similar to these, please rub them off, and if you see cable ties or wire around anythign outside a house please cut them off if you can, or alert the owner of the property.
in a lost dog being returned more quickly if they can phone you. As I said before, avoid putting the dog’s name as it can make it easier for a would be thief to befriend the dog.
Some Dog Owning Laws
Microchipping: All dogs must be microchipped, and the owner’s detail must be registered on one of the authorised databases. The law, which came into force in April 2016, applies to dogs and puppies over the age of eight weeks. Exemptions are available if a vet believes there is a valid health reason not to microchip a dog. The vet must issue the owner with a certificate of exemption in this instance.
In the UK, the Control of Dogs Order 1992 states that any dog in a public place must wear a collar with the name and address (including postcode) of the owner engraved or written on it, or engraved on a tag. Your telephone number is optional, but might result
Owners are required to keep their pets’ details up to date, for example if they move house. If you rehome your dog to someone else, you must give the new owner the correct microchip registration paperwork so that they can contact the database and register as the
Make sure gates have a dead bolt and maybe a padlock make it harder for them to get in and be aware of low fences or hedges where they can just lean over and pick a dog up. Take plenty of good quality pictures of your dog every month just in case they go missing or have been taken.
11
dog’s new owner. Owners who do not get their dog microchipped and registered with an approved database may face a fine of up to £500 if caught.
times. Owners can be issued with a fixed penalty notice of up to £100 for not complying with regulations. Areas with a PSPO on them should be indicated by signs.
Dog fouling This is especially bad in Gretna at the moment and it’s a constant debate by a lot of residents.
Even if you walk in areas with no legal requirement to pick up poo, it’s important to get into the routine of doing so. It might seem like not much harm has been done, but canine faeces can contain parasites that, if not cleaned up, can spread to grass and, if eaten, can cause blindness in people and pregnant cattle to abort their young.
Dog fouling consistently ranks as the number one thing local councils receive complaints about, and it’s easy to understand why. It smells, it gets stuck to your shoes, and it can lead to severe illnesses in children. You must scoop that poop in most public places, however there are some areas where picking up is not a legal requirement (unless a specific order or bylaw has been placed), and these are heathland, woodland and land used for the grazing of animals. But be reponsible and if there is any danger of a child coming into contact with it, please pick it up. Your local authority also has the power to introduce Public Space Protection Orders (PSPOs) to curb dog fouling, including requiring dog owners to pick up after their dogs in certain areas or requiring owners to carry poo bags on them at all
Owners of assistance dogs who have a disability that prevents them from picking up poo, for example a Guide Dog walked by a registered blind person, are exempt from these rules. Law: Environmental Protection Act (1990), Litter (Animal Droppings) Order 1991; Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014 Poop bags are very cheap to buy and even free at our local shop, library and council offices so there is no excuse why you shouldn’t pick it up. Regards Al Docherty With many thanks to Al Docherty for his useful information and advice.
12
You will find two free ebooks you can download from my site at
https://jeremy-smith.co.uk Binary Magic (ePub and Kindle) This short novel revolves around a man who inadvertently gets caught up in a crime syndicate. Almost getting killed he manages to escape but is pursued across the south east corner of the UK. It is a simple to read and hopefully enjoyable "yarn" of the old school. It is the first in a series of books which will be added as they are completed. Call Me James (ePub) A children’s book for all ages is how someone described this book. It tells the story of a young girl’s teddy bear and how he tries to make sense of the world of humans. His very literal understanding of our language leads to some amusing misunderstandings.
https://jeremy-smith.co.uk jeremy@jeremy-smith.co.uk 13
Free Online Talks Program A chance to learn something new and do something different Stories of Love In Wartime - February 15th at 7pm Hear tales of bigamy, jealousy, love and lust from the two World Wars. Local stories you might not be familiar with including marriages, widows and loss FREE tickets from: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/ stories-of-love-in-wartime-tickets136080114285 Scottish Engineering - Building boilers, cars, ships - & female engineers March 22nd at 7pm A look at notable D&G engineering firms Cochran, Arrol Johnston and Caledon FREE tickets from: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/scottishengineering-building-boilers-cars-shipsfemale-engineers-tickets-136083520473 Email: info@devilsporridge.org.uk Phone: 01461 700021 14
The Devil’s Porridge The Devil’s Porridge Museum was established twenty five years ago to share the story of HM Factory Gretna (the greatest factory on earth in World War One). It employed 30,000 people at its height and completely transformed the local are (Eastriggs and Gretna were built because of it). The Museum has recently received funding from Dumfries and Galloway Council’s Coastal Communities Fund for a new project called ‘People of the Past, Skills for the Future.’ “The main focus of it is to learn more about the employees of HM Factory Gretna,” explained Judith Hewitt, Museum Manager. “Who were they? Where did they come from? What happened to them while they worked in the Factory and when the War ended?” “While we do know a great deal and a lot of research was done when the Museum was established, there is always more to find out, more stories to find and archives to search.” continued Judith, “so we’re
really pleased to have achieved this funding to enable us to carry out this exciting work.” The Museum has just appointed a new Research Assistant to work on the project,
Laura Oakes, who has recently completed her PhD. She (like all the Museum staff) will work remotely from home for the foreseeable future. The research will be shared through an exhibition and film within the Museum (they should go on display by the end of the year) and online via social media, a bespoke database and Wikipedia entries. “A crucial part of this project is sharing accounts of people from the Factory with the local community, especially young people.” Said Judith, “So we’re going to be working with local schools and inviting members
15
of the community to join us in our research and its dissemination. If you’d like to be involved, please do contact the Museum.”
currently closed due to the lockdown but when that ends (and it is safe to do so), the Museum should re-open.
The Devil’s Porridge Museum is
The Museum are offering some FREE online talks in the coming months. Details are on their advertisement on page 14 and there are links from where you can get the free tickets, but if you have any problems clicking on the links, just go to
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk and then search for Devils Porridge.
16
Did You Know? •
If you banged your head against the wall for 1 hour, you would burn around 150 calories - about the same as walking your dog for 40 minutes which sounds like more fun.
•
In Switzerland it is illegal to own just one guinea pig. They are social animals and need company.
•
Pteronophobia is the fear of being tickled by feathers.
•
Cherophobia is a fear of happiness.
•
You can hear a lion’s raw from 5 miles away.
•
Saint Lucia is the only country in the world named after a woman.
•
The following can be read forward and backwards: “Do geese see God?”
•
A baby octopus is about the size of a flea.
•
The first passengers in a hot air balloon were a sheep, a duck and a rooster.
•
The average man gets bored on a shopping trip after around 26 minutes, whereas a woman is happy until 2 hours have passed.
•
Honey bees can recognise human faces.
•
The Battle of Hastings didn’t take place in Hastings.
•
A swarm of 20,000 bees followed a car for two days because their queen was stuck inside.
•
Los Angeles’s full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula.”
•
It snowed in the Sahara desert for 30 minutes on February 18, 1979.
•
The average person walks the equivalent of five times around the world in their lifetime.
17
Calling All Veterans and Serving Members of the Armed Forces Do you miss the forces’ banter and camaraderie? Well look no further, we are planning to make a breakfast group of veterans & serving members local to Gretna. We are hoping to have this set up in Gretna in January 2021. Service people have a special humour and outlook on life and a get together each week will give us the chance to continue this, like in our service days. Pop in for a brew or a bit of scran but most of all stay for the banter. I’ll guarantee you’ll
18
love the breakfast club. If you’re interested let us know or please pass this on to someone you know who’s a veteran or maybe still serving. If there’s a business in Gretna that would like to host this please get in touch. Email me or contact me aldocherty@ymail.com or 07828 990 508
Are your carpets looking a little tired? Your chairs in need of a spruce up? Then get in touch and we can bring them back to life again. We pride ourselves on our workmanship, here are just a few of the comments we have received from our many happy customers. “Brilliant job, sofas came out like new, would definitely recommend“ “Done a brilliant job on our hand me down couch, looks brand new! Definitely recommend 5*” “Mark made an amazing job of our carpets today 100% recommended carpets are spotless & smell great!! thanks again much appreciated.“ “Absolutely delighted, my suite is like new. Very prompt service and great price, thanks again.”
19
We Only Have One Planet We have all been spending a great deal of time over the last year worrying about and discussing the pandemic that has hit the world. Sadly, so many people have been affected by it and so many have died. But a vaccination has been developed, several in fact, and once the sensible among us have been inoculated, we should begin to see the numbers infected begin to reduce at last. But while all this is happening, we must not lose sight of the very real disaster of Climate Change. There is no potential vaccination for this, no cure for it, and the planet is unlikely to develop its own antibodies to our pollution. We need to be doing something to permanently reduce the damage we are still doing to our only planet. And to restore the status quo. Some people (I use the term lightly) like Donald Trump would argue that the planet has been through periods of high carbon dioxide levels before and it is a natural process. They say this, of course, because they wish, mainly for personal financial gain, to promote the industries
20
that create the most CO2 emissions. Just recently in Cumbria, a councillor said on TV that the benefits locally to a new coal mine outweighed any environmental issues! I guess he really doesn’t care about the future of the planet. There was a time in the dim and distant past when the CO2 levels on our planet were really high, and the globe was a much warmer place. But such a world was not populated by humans back then. We came along after the excess CO2 had been stored in oil, coal and gas from the compression of the carbon rich wood that had been compressed as the Earth had been reformed by the movement of the land masses. If we let this stored carbon back into the atmosphere as CO2, the planet will revert to how it was then, and that was not a planet you would want to live on, assuming we were even able to live on it. The transformation from an inhabitable planet to an uninhabitable one is not instant of course, but the rate at which the climate is changing is accelerating. And as sea levels increase, low lying places will
become flooded by the sea and become uninhabitable. Areas where crops were once grown will be lost as well. And people will be displaced from their homes. We are seeing the human misery caused right now by people forced from their homes by war and famine, imagine what this will be like if whole swathes of the world become uninhabitable as the sea encroaches. And this is not a “third world� problem. It will happen in the UK and Europe. Consider the low lying lands around us here in Scotland, as well as Kent, Norfolk and Essex. And in Europe, look at all the towns built on the coastline, almost on the beach. Add the increasing temperatures which are already causing storms and inland flooding and you have a recipe for serious overcrowding and the social and health problems these lead to. While the lockdown has been in place, we have been using less energy and using less petrol, and the result has been a reduction in the amount of greenhouse gases emitted by us. This is a good thing, of
course, but each time the lockdown has been eased, people have rushed back to their cars. And once air travel is allowed again, people will flock back to the budget airlines. Much progress has been made across the world, of course, but in the main, governments only pay lip service to the problem, in the knowledge that they will only be in power for a few years so it will become someone else’s problem. In the UK, the sale of new petrol and diesel cars is banned from 2030, but of course, with cars lasting for at least 10 years it will be a long time before all transport is electric or hydrogen powered. In the UK and elsewhere, electric cars are becoming more accepted, but they remain priced out of the reach of the average car buyer. In Scotland in particular, work has been going on to use the power from wind and water to split hydrogen from water so it can be used as a fuel for cars and even as a replacement for the gas we use to heat our homes. Such research really needs great financial investment from government, and it would be
21
great if countries could work together to fund such development. Hopefully such collaboration might continue even now we have been dragged, kicking and screaming, from the EU. We all need to reduce our carbon footprint. Even small things can make a difference. Do you need to make that journey at all? And if you do, must it be in a car? Many local councils have introduced electric buses so use them if you can. Even a diesel powered bus can be better if more people used them pandemic aside of course. Or could you walk? One of the big problems is that humans seem to believe they are better than nature, that they can treat nature badly and have the right to do what they like with the other inhabitants of the planet - the animals and the plants. We don’t. It is only by living in harmony with the planet that we can hope to see an end to the wanton destruction we are causing. A long time ago, a town in China decided that there was a
22
plague of sparrows and they needed to do something about it. So they basically wiped them all out. The result was a plague of insects. They had upset a balance of nature and they reaped the result. More recently, in the UK, badgers were targeted because they are accused of bringing TB to cattle. I don’t know if they do or not, but I do know that trying to kill them off will probably have unwanted side effects. Beavers make a fantastic contribution to the war against flooding, yet they were persecuted to extinction fortunately they are being reintroduced in places, and the benefits are already being seen. In history, every time humans have tried to change the way nature works, we have been hurt. We need to learn to live with nature, to help it. Every little thing we can do helps to slow the planet’s slide to its own destruction. Please remember, we do not have a spare planet to move into.
THE For All Your Sewing Needs Ann Corrie 07525280975 Trousers and skirts shortened, curtains made and adjusted, cushions covered, special occassions such as bride’s maid dresses, wedding dresses altered, zips replaced, roman blinds made up,
49 Halcrow Crescent, Gretna DG165F Phone 07525280975 Facebook ann.corrie Email: anncorrie@icloud.com
23
Cyber Attacks After my interesting, but not paying, investigation into the corrupt councillor things went quiet for a little while until one morning a lady phoned me. She had been put in touch by a friend who worked for the council. She didn’t want to say much on the phone and asked if we could meet. She told me her name was Lucy and she suggested a café in the high street, one I never been in. Of course I agreed and we set a time for 1pm. She told me to ask the owner to point her out. I arrived at 1pm as agreed and asked the lady behind the counter if Lucy was there. “Sorry love,” she replied. “Haven’t seen her for a few days. She normally comes in for breakfast, never seen her in the afternoon.” I told her that she had asked to meet me there at 1 so I would wait, and I ordered a coffee and a sandwich. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and I do like my food. There was a free table in the window which meant I could watch the door and the street and see anyone coming in. A lady entered at 1:15 and the owner pointed her to me. She
24
looked flustered as she sat down at the table. “Sorry I’m late,” she said, “but I needed to make sure I wasn’t followed.” I looked at her and she continued. “For the last few weeks I keep thinking I am being followed. At first I thought I was imagining it but once or twice recently I have seen the same man some distance behind me. At one point I turned a corner and then sat on a bench and waited. Sure enough he turned the corner a few moments later and was obviously surprised to see me looking at him. I was holding my phone and intended to take his photo but he quickly turned his face away and crossed the road.” “I have to ask the obvious,” I replied. “Do you have any idea why you might be being followed?” “None at all, but it is frightening me. I went to the police and they just don’t have the resources nowadays after all the cut backs.” “What do you do for a living, and where do you work?” “I’m just a secretary for Bailen
Brothers, they’re a small business down by the docks,” she told me. “All I do is look after the invoicing and the filing, nothing that would get me followed.” “Are you followed from work, or from home, or is there no pattern you can see?” I asked her. “It seems to be all the time,” she replied. Both to and from work and sometimes even when I am out shopping.” I told her my rates and said I would be happy to see what I could find out. She looked relieved, her mouth even twitched into a small smile. I had to wonder if she was telling me everything, but that was how it was, I would no doubt learn more as the case progressed - I had her full name, her address and her phone number. And I knew where she worked, so this was where I would have to start from. My first job was going to be to see who it was that was following her, so at 5pm I positioned myself on the road she took to walk home from work. Her route took her past a number of shops and one of them was a newsagents owned by a man I had helped out a few months back. I asked him if
I could loiter there for a while while I kept a watch out of the window. About ten past the hour, Lucy walked past. A few minutes afterwards a man also walked past, but there was no way to know if he was following her so I decided to follow him. I left the shop and keeping a discreet distance behind I followed them both. It was a bit like an elongated conga line. Lucy stopped off a few times to go into some of the shops she passed, and each time her follower paused and pretended to look in another shop window. So I knew she was being followed at least, but why? One of the problems of my last job was that I got into the local papers. OK, it got me some work, but it also meant that people might recognise me more easily. Back then I had long hair and, I must admit, I was a bit scruffy. So I went back and called into the barbers that I had passed and had a much needed haircut. I also decided to pop into the clothes shop and get some decent clothes, just a jacket and some dark trousers would do the trick. The following morning I positioned myself where Lucy would pass on her way to work. Right on time she walked passed, and shortly afterwards
25
came her follower. Again I followed them both until Lucy reached work, and then followed her follower to see where he went. I was a little surprised to find him going into a factory estate where he made his way to a high tech company, Masterson Technologies . Things were getting interesting. I knew the firm Lucy worked for was also a high tech business, albeit only a small one, but why would a large firm like Masterson want to follow a secretary from such a small firm? From what she had said she wasn’t in the technical side at all. I decided to do some digging into both businesses to see if I could find anything. Tech firms are famous for being secretive about projects they might be working on so I was not surprised to get nowhere with a simple search on their profiles on the internet, but after more digging I did discover that Lucy was the secretary to one of the top scientists that Bailen had working for them. I also found that Lucy had a master’s degree in electronics, which made a secretary’s job seem rather strange, even in a firm like Bailen. I was becoming more convinced that there was a lot I wasn’t being told. I sent Lucy a message asking to meet at the café again at lunch time.
26
I arrived early this time and positioned myself at a table that could not be seen from outside, if she was followed I didn’t want them to see me. There was nothing I could do if they followed her inside, but I didn’t think that was likely. When Lucy arrived I told her what I had discovered, including that her boss was a top scientist and that she had a master’s degree. “They said you were good,” she said when I finished. “Who’s ‘they’,” I asked her. “My colleagues at work. But I am sorry I didn’t tell you everything before, I needed to check you out myself before I decided how trustworthy you were.” “And now?” I asked, with a smile. “Now I tell all,” she smiled back. “My job is, on paper, a secretary to Robert Panklin. Actually we work together. At the moment we are working on a government project - I am
sorry, I can’t tell you anything about it in detail, but it is to do with defending against cyber attacks. As you probably know, these are increasing on a daily basis and are a real threat against democracy. Obviously there is money to be made from anything we create, but foreign powers are also going to be interested. But I must admit I am surprised if Masterson are after stealing it for their own use, they really don’t have any expertise in that area.”
decided I would start with the guy who had been doing the following. I wanted to know who he was and why his interest in Lucy. That afternoon I positioned myself back in my friend’s newsagents, this time with a camera set up in his window display. As on the previous evening, he passed the window a short while after Lucy. My photo wasn’t perfect, being through glass and with the afternoon sun in the wrong place, but it would do. “Looks like I owe you another favour,” I said to Ahmail the owner. “If I can ever do anything to help just ask.” Ahmail smiled. “You are my good friend, that is enough.”
“I doubt it’s another agency and I’d be surprised if they were working for a foreign interest either, they are a well established firm. I think there must be something else. Can you carry on digging and see if you can find anything?”
Once home, I got the photo off my camera and emailed it to my friend in the force. It’s a bit of a grey area here. Obviously my friend couldn’t use the police computer system to help me in my work, but if they guy had a record then there was the possibility that Lucy could be at risk - he was following her after all. And I worked quite closely with the police.
Seeing as how this was the first paying job I had had in a while I was hardly likely to say no, but to be honest I wasn’t sure of which direction to take. I
An email the following day told me that the follower was not on the police system so that was a dead end. My friend also confirmed that he wasn’t a
“Could they be working for another agency?” I asked. “Or for a potential attacker?”
27
registered private detective either, but I knew that he could be working unregistered. I had hoped the guy would be on the police records which would make it easier if I needed to get them involved. But I really wanted to know who he was so I called a techie guy I knew. “Send me the pic and I will see what I can find out,” he told me. In less than fifteen minutes I had an email back from him. The guy was a Johansen Merle, and he worked at Masterson in their security department. So I knew who he was, and who he worked for, but I was still no further forward with the ‘why’. I needed to get someone into Masterson to find out, but how? I phoned Janice, the office cleaner who had helped me before. “Do you know anyone who cleans over at Masterson?” I asked her. “I have a friend, Janet, who does. She goes in at the end of the day. Would that be any good?” “It would if she could plant one of those bugs we used before,” I replied. “Unlikely, I would say,” she told me. “They are so security
28
conscious. I will ask Janet though, she would be up for it I think, I don’t think she likes them very much.” I decided I would tell Janice about the guy from their security department tailing a client of mine and she told me she would pass that on to Janet. “I think that might make her want to help even more,” she told me. “I’ll let you know.” Janice phoned the next day. “Janet is happy to help, and although most of the building is very open plan, the security office is smaller and she is always complaining about the stuffy smell in there. Maybe she could persuade them to have some air fresheners. Shall I ask Janet to get in touch?” I met Janet at my favourite café for lunch. “Before I explain anything, I need to ask why you might be prepared to help me. It is not exactly legal and you could get into trouble.” “To be honest, if I could get some dirt on them I would be really happy,” she replied. “My brother used to work for them as an electronic engineer. He was happy there until his boss got replaced. No warning, just one day he went to work and there was the new boss. And he wasn’t a good boss, always trying to pick holes in
everything the engineers did. In the end my brother left, he really had no choice as his health was suffering. He was going to claim constructive dismissal but decided against it in case it ruined what little chance he had of getting another job. I got the job as a cleaner to see if I could find out what happened to the old boss but I never held out much hope. Until now perhaps.” I showed her the air freshener recording devices I had. “They record conversations,” I explained to her. “They don’t transmit anything so they are not detectable but they have to be replaced each day or so in order to retrieve the recordings.” “I clean the security office last so normally everyone has gone home by then, apart from the security guards at the entrance.But I will need to ask if it is OK to plug an air freshener in and they will want to check it out I expect.” I thought for a while. “These are identical to the normal ones you can buy in the supermarket, so if we could replace the insert with a normal one they could check it as much as they want to. Then the next day you could replace the insert with the bug. It still works as an air freshener from the outer two refills so they
will never know.” “It might bring me some answers as well, so I will give it a go.” “Can you meet me here tomorrow? I will have a normal insert by then and can let you have the bugs.” All went well and Janet called me the following evening to let me know the normal one was plugged in and she would swap it when she next went in. A few days passed before I got another call to tell me she had the first bug back and inserted a second. I was surprised to find that we had some useful recordings from day one. A loud voice was shouting, “You must have found something, you’ve been following her for days.” A second voice replied, “She just goes to work, then goes home. She doesn’t meet anyone unless it is in a shop, I can’t follow her in to a shop, it would be too obvious.” “Damn,” the voice shouted back. “If we don’t get that contract away from Bailen then we are sunk. That tip off we had that she was having an affair was bloody well wrong. I’ll have him sacked.” I heard a door slam and then the second voice spoke again,
29
“I don’t know why I still work here since he’s been the boss. It used to be a good place to work.” “It’s not now,” another voice answered him. “Why’s he so bothered about that contract, it’s not as if we are short of work to do?” “I think he has someone breathing down his neck. I think it is time I quit.” I decided to try my luck with him if he followed Lucy again so the next morning I positioned myself again ready to follow him. I was lucky, he had obviously not quit yet. But then I saw him approach Lucy, go right up to her. I was genuinely worried in case he was planning something, but he was just talking to her. I went up to them. “Hello Johansen,” I said. He was startled by my using his name, but then calmed down as he realised he had been caught. “I was just about to apologise to Lucy for following her,” he said to us. “My boss wanted me to discover her having an affair so he could blackmail her into giving away some secrets about the contract her firm are working on.” “I know,” I said. “It’s this new
30
boss of yours, and you believe he has someone breathing down his neck?” Realisation dawned on him then. “You’ve managed to bug the place?” He was clearly surprised that it was possible, “If you have then we can use it to get the police involved.” “Sadly the bug is not legal so the police cannot use anything we get from it, but if you went to the police and explained what was going on then they could get a warrant and make the bug legal. Then we might get somewhere.” All went according to plan. Once Johansen had gone to the police even MI5 got involved. Masterson Technologies had been quietly taken over by a company that had more interests in Iran than they had in the UK, and they really wanted the counter cyber attack system to fail, or at least be broken by them. It would seem that Lucy had been lucky it hadn’t gone any further as she could have been in danger. Bailen Brothers took Masterson Technologies over and Janet’s brother even got his old job back. So a good result all round. Oh, and I got paid as well.
31
Puzzles Pages
Easy
Medium
Hard
Very Hard
Solutions are on the inside back cover. You can also print these pages with a plain background if you go to our website https://tickledsquirrel.com
32
Across 1. Internet access device 6. Woe is me! 10. Own 14. Verdi work 15. Cleopatra's river 16. Old 17. Memorise 18. Got it! (2 wds.) 19. Breathing organ 20. Brought to a close 21. Citrus preserve 23. Computer fodder 25. Recipe unit (abbr.) 26. Mule's kin 29. Ceremonies 31. Peruses 36. Guardian 38. Diva's song 39. Locomo�ve 40. '50s monogram 42. Atlan�c or Indian 43. Wicked 44. Republican symbol 46. Rented again 48. Act toward 49. Watery expanse 50. Poet's above 52. Naturalist John ____ 54. Five-sided base (2 wds.) 59. Telegraph inventor 63. Washstand item 64. Rotate 65. Perfect 66. Nevada city 67. Skip 68. Official stamps 69. ____ and ends 70. Snoozes 71. Rich cake Puzzle Grid Down
1. Burrowing animal 2. Overt 3. Grateful ____ 4. Made mistakes 5. Chinese dialect 6. Like "Toy Story", e.g. 7. "Mona ____" 8. Warns 9. Gives the impression 10. Corridor 11. Mexican water 12. Sell 13. Boundary 22. Tax mo. 24. Can metal 26. Purple flower 27. Dish out 28. Garden pest 30. Church leader 32. To ____ his own
33. Locales 34. Keaton or Sawyer 35. Mr. Claus 37. Floor piece 41. Carbon and gold, e.g. 42. Pessimist's opposite 45. ____ de toile�e 47. Lid 48. Serious injury 51. Rock star ____ John 53. Cowboy show 54. Submarine sandwich 55. Was in debt 56. Fix 57. Love deity 58. Journey 60. Back 61. Snow melter 62. Addi�onal
33
Puzzles For Children Animal Anagrams
Space Anagrams
Can you unravel these mixed up names of animals you might have as a pet?
And how about these mixed up space related words?
AMEHSTR
ONOM
OGD
TAS R
SOEHR
MTOCE
KSAEN
ETOMRE
TOARRP
LN ETPA
BARTIB
NUVRIEES
MSUEO
V I R GATY
KNHCCEI
LOUPT
SETTROOI
EPUNNTE
HSGLFIOD
NEVSU
You can print these pages with no background colour if you go to our website at https://tickledsquirrel.com and download as a pdf
34
Can you find these countries in the grid? Then can be horizontal, vertical or diagonal and can go in any direction. You can print this page from our website if you would like to.
A I L A R T S U A B C M W X U
P C A M B O D I A Z R O J D C
Q M R S W U Z M Z R S A N V G
AFGHANISTAN AUSTRALIA BRAZIL BULGARIA CAMBODIA CANADA ENGLAND FRANCE
X D U E N Z L I A C Y A Z G U
P G S L A I V G O N L K R I A
D B S A T M R T A G T E S I L
Z N I W S B L A N R E E B S Z
O E A Q I A O E D C I A I L B
C B J L N B J X E U R A Y V A
M R M D A W E C N A R F N D E
N O R T H E R N I R E L A N D
GERMANY GREECE IRAN IRAQ LAOS NEWZEALAND NORTHERNIRELAND RUSSIA
H I E Y G I Z D N I C N M L E
C L A H F Q U W R S A U R A T
M G P P A A J A E C Q H E O B
Q A R I S Y N N V N E Q G S G
SAUDIARABIA SCOTLAND SPAIN VIETNAM WALES ZIMBABWE
35
3D Noughts and Crosses This is a game for the older person, I think I was probably in my teens when I first tried playing it. We have probably all played noughts and crosses (known as tic tac toe in America) at some time. The main reason it is popular is that it can be played on scraps of paper and even a grid drawn on the sand at the beach, but once you have learned how to play it it soon becomes too easy and every game ends in a draw. When I was younger and in my secondary school, a friend and I started to play some different versions of it. The first thing we tried was using a larger board, so instead of 3 x 3 squares, we tried 4 x 4. This immediately became more interesting as we now had to get a row of 4 pieces, and it was no longer so easy to force a draw. Over time, we made the board even larger but 4 x 4 or 5 x 5 is probably as large as is sensible. The next step we took was to try a three dimensional board. The idea is that you can make a row of noughts (or crosses) horizontally as normal, or vertically as well. Now if you do a search on Google (or DuckDuckGo which doesn’t track your every move) for 3d noughts and crosses, you will find some wooden or plastic versions you can buy, but it is still quite easy to draw a board as shown below.
Top Level
36
Middle Level
Bottom Level
If you imagine the 3 x 3 “boards� are suspended one above the other then you can see why it is now 3D noughts and crosses. Play is exactly the same as the normal noughts and crosses except you can place you piece on any level in order to try to make the row. To give you the idea, I have shown some examples of winning rows here: X x X x X x
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
In this example, we have a row going from the top layer diagonally down to the bottom layer In this example, we have a row going vertically down in the middle cell from the top to the bottom
In this example, we have a row going from the top layer diagonally down to the bottom layer, but all on one side In this example, we have a row all on one layer, just like the old game.
It can take a while to get your head around it, but it is worth trying. And you only need a pen and some paper to play. My friend and I ended up once with 6 x 6 squares, with 6 layers. One game had been played over several weeks in breaks until we realised that each of us had already won several times!
37
James, Almost Lost In Space
By Jay
Hello, my names is James Bear and I live with a lot of other teddies and toys in a house with Elizabeth and her mum and dad. The lockdown had gone on for months and Elizabeth’s school had been closed so she has to study at home with her mum’s help. Elizabeth’s dad had started working more from home and he used to spend many hours working in the sheds that were near the duck pond, but Elizabeth had been told not to go in them as there was machinery there that could hurt her. One day, Elizabeth’s dad had to go into work to do something, and he was going to be home quite late. Elizabeth and her mum were busy in the living room doing her school work and Bill, Francis and I were bored - Francis was the first teddy Elizabeth had ever had, and Bill we had rescued from a balcony when we were away on holiday. We decided to go and have some fun in the garden as it was a sunny day, the first after a lot of damp and cold rainy days. We decided to explore the sheds where Elizabeth’s Dad worked. I
38
suppose we were just curious because Elizabeth had never been in them and so we hadn’t either. There was a small hole in the door to the first shed and we went in. It was just full of old machinery and really wasn’t very interesting. Bill did find a rope hanging from the ceiling and swung from it for a while pretending to be one of the chimps we had seen on the TV. The next shed was in much better condition and so we decided to see if we could get inside to take a look. Bill pointed to a ledge high up where they could see a small open window. “Could we get in that way?” he asked. “We could, but how do we get up there?” I replied. “There’s a ladder over here,” Francis, who had wondered off, called out. So the three of us dragged the ladder over to the wall and, after a great struggle, we managed to get it up to the shelf. One by one we climbed up and were soon looking through the open window into the shed. We could see an enormous machine sitting in the centre,
pipes and cables led to it from smaller machines around the edge. “What is it?” I asked. “It’s a spaceship,” Bill replied, very matter of fact. “What do you mean ‘a spaceship’?” Francis and I asked him together. “Well it does look a lot like those flying saucers you see in comics and on the TV,” Bill insisted. “But I didn’t know people made spaceships in their gardens.” We climbed down inside the shed using some ropes that were hanging from a nearby hook and ran over to where the machine was sitting, tubes and pipes coming out of it. It looked even larger as we gazed up at it.
“There’s a ramp over here,” Francis called out and started to run around the corner. By the time Bill and I reached him he was half way up it. “Be careful,” Bill called out. It didn’t take long and the three of us reached the top of the ramp and were at the entrance to the spaceship, looking in through the open door. We could see three chairs, each with a panel covered in controls in front of it. It looked like it was switched off as there were no lights lit on any of the panels. “Come on,” I called, and rushed off through the door, closely followed by Bill and Francis. “Let’s take a look at the controls,” Francis suggested. “How do we get up there?” Bill asked. I looked around and found a rope lying on the floor. Quickly I had a loop in the end and was throwing it up to try to lasso a knob on the control panel. It soon caught and we were climbing up, Bill and Francis in the lead, then I took up the rear. Our combined weight was enough though to pull the lever the rope had landed on and
39
we suddenly felt a clunk as it moved from Off to On. “What was that?” Bill asked. “The door’s closing,” I shouted and dropped off the rope, running to try to get to the door before it did. I was unlucky and it closed with a clang just as I got there. “Not again,” Bill said. “This is getting to be a habit, I hope I’m not stuck here as long as I was on the balcony.” “We’ll be ok,” I reassured him. “We got you off the balcony didn’t we?” Yes, but that was just a balcony. This is a spaceship, what if we get whisked off into space? Who’s going to rescue us then?” Francis pointed out. “Let’s go and take a closer look at the controls,” I suggested. The others, who were still half way up the rope, carried on climbing and I joined them soon afterwards. We could see lights on the control panel lit up now, but nothing to tell us what to do. “Should we switch this back to Off again?” Francis suggested. “I guess we should,” I agreed and between us we managed to push
40
the lever back to where it should be. Lights went out again on the panels but the door remained closed. “I expect the door closed automatically so the spaceship could take off,” I added. “But how do we open it again? Any ideas?” “There might be another switch to open the door,” Bill suggested, we should take a look at all the controls.” “But don’t move any in case it makes it take off or something,” I instructed. So we inspected each of the controls on the panel, but with no success. “Maybe it’s on one of the other panels?” Bill suggested. “Good idea,” I said. “We should go and have a look.” And I pulled up the rope and started to try to lasso the next panel.
back to the first panel and switch that switch back on again first.” I set off back across the ropes without waiting for a reply. Once there I had to use all my strength to move the switch but eventually managed it and the panels lit up with lights again. “Try it now,” I called across to the others. Bill pushed on the door switch and the door opened. “Be careful what you pull on,” Bill advised. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful,” I agreed and soon had the rope made fast between the two control panels. One by one we carefully climbed across the rope and reached the next panel. Another careful inspection brought no results again and we were beginning to lose hope but I said, “There’s still the third panel, we should check that one before we give up.” So another rope bridge was made with the end of the rope and we made their way across it to the final control panel. I was right, the switch for the door was there, but it didn’t work. We pushed it and pulled it and nothing happened. “We’re prize idiots,” I said at last. “The power’s off. We need to go
“Thank heaven,” Bill said. He had been reliving his time on the balcony and really didn’t want to do it all over again, even with his new friends with him. Francis and Bill made their way back to the first panel where they joined me. Before we climbed down the rope, we made it fast to a bolt that was sticking out and then made our way to the floor and ran out of the door. “I think I’ve had enough adventuring for one day,” I told the others. They both nodded their agreement. “But was that a real spaceship?” Bill asked them. “It certainly looked like one, we’ll have to ask Elizabeth later when she gets home,” I suggested and the three of us ran back up the garden path and into the house
41
again, quite worn out by the adventure, but still curious as to what the machine was. But to answer that we would need to wait until Elizabeth’s dad came back from work.
“There’s always a way,” I replied. “Perhaps you could ask him to show you what he does when he goes to the sheds?”
The three of us decided we would tell Elizabeth about the spaceship and ask her to find out what she could about it. “But I’m not allowed to go in the sheds,” she told us. “Dad says that there are things in there that could be dangerous, so how could I know about the spaceship?”
And so it was left, they would have to wait until Elizabeth’s dad came home and see if she could persuade him to let her, and us, have a look.
“That does make it rather difficult,” Francis said.
“I could try,” she replied, not looking very hopeful.
It seemed a really long time before Elizabeth’s mum announced that she was “off to collect dad” and we waited impatiently for them to get back. Even then, Elizabeth wasn’t able to ask him for straight away as he was hungry and wanted to rest a bit. Eventually though, Elizabeth did manage to talk to her dad. “You know your sheds in the garden?” she started. “Well, I know I’m not allowed to go in them, but
42
I’m sure I heard some noises coming from one of them while you were away today. Sort of motor noises I think. I didn’t want to tell mum in case she went to investigate and it turned out to be burglars.”
morning, Elizabeth went downstairs carrying three very sleepy teds in the bag she took everywhere with her. And once she had had her breakfast, her dad was true to his word and they went down the path to the sheds.
“You did the right thing, but I hope nobody got in, I don’t want anything messed with. Which shed was it, do you know?” he replied.
“I’d better check this one first,” her dad said. “I know you said it came from further down but if anyone has been here it would be best to check them all out.”
“I’m not really sure,” Elizabeth told him. “I was playing near the duck pond and the noise seemed to be coming from past the first shed. But I was too scared to go any further down the garden when I heard the noise.”
“What if they’re still here?” Elizabeth asked suddenly afraid, completely forgetting that it was a story she had invented in order to see in the sheds.
“Well I’ll tell you what,” her dad said. “It’s getting too dark now, but it’s Saturday tomorrow, and no home study for you, so why don’t I take you down to the sheds in the morning and let you see what’s there? I can check everything out at the same time, make sure it’s all ok.” “Oh, yes please,” Elizabeth replied, quite surprised. When she went to bed she told us what was planned and all of us were so excited that we got very little sleep that night. In the
“Don’t worry,” her dad reassured here. “If there was anyone here he will have gone by now.” The first shed, as we knew, was full of machinery. “This is where I do a lot of my work on engines,” her dad explained. “Do you remember that car I made once?” “The one that looked more like an aeroplane?” Elizabeth answered. “I never thought of it looking like that,” her dad replied. “I suppose it did now you mention it. Well this was where I repaired the engine I took from that old car to go in it.”
43
“What happened to that car?” Elizabeth asked him. “I sold it, got a good price as well if I remember. Maybe I should make some more?” They continued to look around the shed but nothing was out of place. “Now, let’s take a look at the next shed shall we?” her dad suggested. They walked out of the shed and turned to go to the next one. Elizabeth was very excited and she could feel us wriggling in her bag. But before we reached the shed, Elizabeth’s mother called from the house. “Telephone George, I think it’s work,” she called.
never get any time off. They’re in a hurry for the thing I’ve been making in this next shed so I hope it’s still ok.” And he opened the door so they could go in. It was quite dark as there was only the single window that let some light in. Elizabeth’s dad turned on a light and Elizabeth gasped as she saw the spaceship. “It’s a flying saucer,” she said, quite amazed even though we had told her what was there. “Well yes and no,” her dad replied mysteriously. “Let’s take a look inside.” “Did you make this?” Elizabeth asked him
“I’d better go and see what they want,” Elizabeth’s dad said to her. “I don’t want you to go in the sheds on your own so do you want to stay here and wait for me? I shouldn’t be long.”
“Of course,” he replied. “It’s my job.” He led them into the flying saucer just as we had entered before. “Mind your head here,” he warned Elizabeth. “The door’s a bit low.”
“Ok,” Elizabeth agreed and sat on a tree stump to wait for him to return. Once he was out of earshot she spoke to us. “Don’t worry, we’ll find out the secret before long,” she said.
“Does it work?” she asked.
It seemed to take forever before she saw her dad coming back down the path. “I’m sorry he told her. “Sometimes it seems like I
“Does it fly into space?” she asked the question we had most wanted asked.
44
“It depends what you mean by ‘work’,” he replied. “It does most of what it was designed to do, but I do need to finish some of it off.”
“No,” her dad laughed. “I wish it could but it’s just a model.”
“Phew,” she said. “That was too realistic.”
“You mean like I make from plastic kits sometimes?”
“Sorry,” her dad said. “It is quite good though, isn’t it?”
“A bit, but the models I make are life size and look like they’re real. This one’s going off to Elstree next week for a new film they’re making,” he explained. “It will look like it’s flying through space once the special effects people have got their hands on it, but for now it’s just a model. Some of it works though,” he added and pressed a switch on the control panel. A roar of engine noise filled the room and the craft started to shake. Lights flashed and it really felt like they were taking off. He released the switch and the noise stopped.
He took Elizabeth on a guided tour of the spaceship and showed her the parts that worked. It was very exciting and Elizabeth could easily see how we had believed it was a flying saucer that was about to whisk us off into space. That night in bed, Elizabeth told us stories about spaceships and adventures and when we dropped off to sleep, we all dreamt wonderful dreams of exploration into the furthest reaches of the universe.
45
A Fun Quiz 1. What phonetic code word comes before Quebec? 2. Which 1952 film featured the song Do Not Forsake Me ? 3. In which leisure pursuit might you do a Turkey Trot or a Bunny Hug?
?
4. What term is given to the removal of a sample of tissue from the body for diagnostic examination? 5. What is the name of the island in Arthurian legend that is sometimes identified with Glastonbury Tor? 6. By what first name was music-hall comedian Mr Flanagan known? 7. In which county is Gatwick airport?
8. With which meat is apple sauce traditionally served? 9. What number shirt is worn by a fullback in Rugby Union? 10. Which Russian title was first formally assumed by Ivan the Terrible? 11. Which actor portrayed Rowdy Yates in the series Rawhide? 12. What name is given to a brooch that contains a raised figure or design? 13. What are grissini?
14. What term is given to a voluntary renunciation of the throne of a country? 15. In which board game does the player act as a doctor removing plastic ailments from a patient? 16. Which monarch is credited with writing Greensleeves ? 17. What is the term for a male wild pig?
18. Which actress starred in the film Sliding Doors ?
19. The patron saint of animals, St Francis, was born in which Italian town? 20. Which units are used to measure sound intensity?
46
Answers can be found inside the back cover
Do You Know A Local Hero? Over the last few months we have all experienced difficulties and hardships in one way or another due to lockdowns and the virus. There are many tales of people who have supported and helped the more vulnerable in our society and we would like to include some of these exceptional people in our pages. It might be someone who has been helping a vulnerable person get their shopping. Or perhaps someone who has been working tirelessly for our overworked NHS. Maybe you know someone who is delivering medicines for people who are self isolating. They, themselves will not think they are special, but the people they are helping know how much these people are making a difference to their lives. If there is someone you think deserves a mention then please let us know about them and how we can contact them. Anyone put forward will be contacted by us before we published anything but we think it might be a nice way to give these people some of the recognition they deserve. Please send any recommendations to editor@tickledsquirrel.com
47
Heather Marie Berry I have been writing poetry since my childhood and took Inspiration from Nature, God and the many emotions I have experienced in my life. I was given a stack of Patience Strong Poetry books and I was also told that my great grandmother was a cousin of William Wordsworth so this influenced my work too. I have Self Published six books, two of them Picture Poetry and had poems published in various anthologies over the years. I also recently had some published in Writers Egg Magazine along with my Artwork. This is a Poem called 'Happy Anniversary' because February is Valentine’s month.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Thank you for the years we've spent, the years we've spent together, knowing despite everything our love will last forever. Thank you for just being you and giving me your heart for life would have no meaning if we spent our time apart. Whatever we encounter, whatever life does bring, we'll share it with each other and get through anything. So thank you for just choosing to spend your life with me and for making me more happy than it's possible to be.
48
Heather Marie Berry
I am also passionate about Photography and Art and after completing a BA honours in Photography at the University of Cumbria, i have been developing my Art, photography and my Picture Poetry. I love combining them all to produce beautiful and inspirational pictures. My new Poetry books are available on Blurb.com 'Angels of Grace' and 'After The Storm'
Websites: Twitter:
Etsy.com and Blurb.com Heather Marie Arts
Facebook: Heather Marie Arts From The Heart Picture Poetry
49
MOTHER NATURE She could calm the storm with her mind, was gentle and kind, made the sun shine brighter and burdens lighter. She was wild and free like the wind and the sea, danced in the rain, chose love over pain. She was magic and fire, with a heart of desire, her soul was illuminating, her beauty captivating. And when the stars came out at night, she blessed them with her earthly light, and cupped the moon within her hand for she was queen of all the land.
Heather Marie Berry 50
Book Review Another of my reviews of some of the books I have read and loved. They may not be “classics� but I think they are worth a read. In general, I read using either a tablet or a Kindle or a Kobo reader, but I have indicated in which formats the book is available. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did. Bucket to Greece By V D Bucket While we are still restricted by lockdowns and the simple common sense avoidance of unnecessary travel in order to restrict the spread of the virus, many of our thoughts are turned to dreaming of holidays and visiting places we might never have been. As you probably know, I live in Scotland so my travel dreams may be even stronger than most, amplified by the cold and the snow, but this set of books has proved to be entertaining and is written with a great sense of humour as well. It tells the story of a couple who decide to retire to a small village in Greece, buying a rather run down villa and bringing it up to date. I would recommend it to anyone who loves Greece, who would like
to visit Greece, or who would simply like an enjoyable read. It might even spark the writing bug in some of you, who knows?
This is available as a paperback from all good booksellers and on Kindle where it is included in their Kindle Unlimited selection. There are five books in the series.
51
Gretna FC 2008
January - Match Postponed (Other) Well that's how the BBC football website has labelled the Lowland League fixture list throughout January. That's not quite true. The first two games of the year - a much awaited local derby against Dalbeatie Star and the away game at Cumbernauld Colts were both postponed due to frozen pitches. Then we watched with dread as a new variant of the Covid19 virus hit the news. The Scottish Government reacted quickly and reintroduced lockdown measures. While initially they said professional football could
52
continue, it was obvious that this would be extremely difficult at a Lowland League level and would also put players and officials at risk. Eventually, the Lowland League was halted and relief all round. Although we miss our football no end we didn’t want that risk. There is no premier league bubbles for players at our level. They have to work, go shopping etc, so a sensible decision at the end of the day. As Gretna FC 2008 chairman Alex Thomson commented, "Players' safety is our main priority and we agree that the
Joe Jackson commented, "I think the latest suspension of the league is the smartest decision. It is also disappointing as football was a great outlet for many. We definitely should be focusing on our family and friends being safe in the current climate. I'm glad there was a united decision to suspend the league for health and safety. To keep fit we'll just have to use the preseason workouts we were given in preparation for the league's return. However, as we end the month it is not all doom and gloom as SportScotland granted the club ÂŁ100,000 towards the installation of a 3G artificial pitch at Raydale. Obviously Alex is "delighted" and "is a reward for all the hard work that continues off the pitch".
right thing to do is to stop football until the Corona virus is under control again. It has been a hard time for everybody but everyone has to keep safe". It is hard for the players too, as noone knows when football will resume and they have to keep fit. Gretna talisman and centre back
There is light at the end of the tunnel and things to look forward to. Keep safe everyone. Iain Martin. Congratulations go to Committee member Jonathan Needham on his engagement to Amy
53
Felsham Planning and Development is a U.K. wide property consultancy that advises on the use and development of land and provides a full range of planning and development services, including: Site finding and acquisition
•
Appraisal site suitability
•
Appraisal of prospects of obtaining planning permission
• •
Negotiations with the planning authority and stake holders •
Development plan representations •
•
Political strategy and consultation
Preparation and submission of planning applications
• •
Preparation and submission of technical reports • •
54
Public consultation
Expert Witness work
Sale of development land
Email philip@felshampd.co.uk Call: +44 (0) 131 337 96400 Web: https://felshampd.co.uk
Simply Relax The ‘Simply Relax’ recording is now Absolutely FREE For All Readers Over the last two months I have offered the Simply Relax hypnotherapy download with a discount code to make it free of charge. The response has been so good that I have decided to keep the free offer on permanently. Use the code mellowrelax So if you are finding these uncertain times are causing you stress or worry, then give it a try, Go to the website shown below, go to Downloads, scroll down to Simply Relax and click on See More, then click on Purchase and enter the code shown below. There will be no charge,
https://simply-relax.com Use the code mellowrelax 55
Annan Travel Your local travel agent
Yes, you will go on holiday again 2020 was a difficult year with so many people’s holidays ruined by the pandemic. But we all still need a break, and there are great bargains to be had for 2021. So get in touch and start planning your next holiday.
Telephone 01461 206803 Facebook: annan-travel annan Email: annantravel@barrheadtravel.co.uk
Cruises - Beach Holidays All Inclusive - Round The World Discover the UK
56
Je Ne Parle Pas Francaise By Paul Cowan Once again, Paul has written an interesting piece for us, this time about the wonder of language. So I don’t speak French. Well actually I do as it happens, as well as Spanish, German and a smattering of Italian. Which would all seem against the odds with our removal from the E.U. Don’t worry this article isn’t going to be a political statement, well not overtly so. We are going to look at how things have changed within the English language with the addition of a wealth of foreign words. Perhaps we should start gently by slipping into the kitchen. So many of the words we use in the culinary arts come from primarily French and slightly less so, Italian. You see how this works, culinary, French of course. This is because the English as a nation have for centuries relied on the
expertise of the people across the channel for good food. How about a simple thing like vinegar or as it is in French, vin de gar, which literally means rotten wine, mmm, nice. Now the next line is really going to annoy the brexiteers, when they have to find other names for… Beef, pork, mutton and hamster, oops how did that German one slip into the food world. Who would have thought that such English staples would derive from French! Alas the go-to of every wedding, birthday and sadly, funeral, doesn’t escape either, the good old English - oh oh, sorry, French, buffet. Perhaps we could re-name it, that-meal-weeat-with-our-fingers-off-paperplates-that-somebody-knocked-upthe-day-before-and-chucked-in-
57
the-fridge-before-piling-it-high-ona-table. A little long winded but it might have to catch on. Before we leave the culinary realm we should also consider delicatessen, a German word meaning fancy foods, chocolate, of course Mexican, deriving from the ancient Aztec word xocolatl, lemon, from the Arabic laimun, and also Arabic, alcohol, of all things, from the word kohl, originally powder substance - no, me neither. Ketchup of course is… Chinese and derives from the word ke-stiep, meaning pickled fish and spices. Now this is a good one, and so simple, but it may provide a lot of people with a lot of work, should we decide to change it, a real boost to the economy. Café, French again, those damn froggies, the French word for coffee. Imagine it, every café in England changing its name, feeding sign writers, designers, printers and builders, joy. So that’s food done, start with the obvious. On to words that we use on a daily basis for a miriad of situations. Who doesn’t like a trip to the ballet, or something in that genre, perhaps dressed in our finest lingerie, doused in perfume, or essence, perhaps after a lovely massage, performed by a budding entrepeneur. All French of course, as are terror, voyage, catalogue and of course cul de sac, which literally translates as - corner or
58
bottom of the bag. On to waltz, and angst, two words that to me go hand in hand, both German, as is rucksack, a bag for the back. The Japanese gave us tycoon and of course karaoke, we could change that one to - singing-very-badlywhilst-drunk-to-embarrassourselves-and-all-our-friendswhile-maintaining-we-areabsolutely-brilliant-and-deservingof-a-record-contract-SimonCowell-innit? The Spanish gave us, amongst other things macho and patio, two things that rarely go hand in hand. The Swedish, moped, literally pedal engine. The Czechs gave us the word robot and also invented the sugar-cube or kostka as they pronounce it. The Italians were of course all messed up in that Latin thing, which virtually powers the language of the medical world, as well as giving us such gems as extra, alarm - to arms, cartoon - drawing on hard paper, and of course sinister, from the Latin sinestre, meaning left and wrong or evil. This explains why left handed people throughout history were persecuted as witches and demons. The French gave it a real go too with gauche which is left and droit which is right. Naive and accomplished and clever respectively, as in adroit. The Russians gave us the balaclava, named after the bloody COLD region and the hat worn by the troops in the war that was fought
there, and mammoth, a big cold elephant, also furry. The Indians gave us the Hindi words loot, meaning stolen goods, and a word my dad used frequently, though don’t tell the Inland Revenue, buckshee, cash in hand and not through the books, back shish in the original. I only found this one out a few years ago, having heard it and used it all my life. The good old Chinese loaned us the phrase gung ho, literally to work together, and very recently, scarily so, brain washing, a word and technique invented by them during the Korean war, in Chinese xi nao. You will have to excuse the lack of accents in some of my foreign words, unfortunately most computers are based on English and often American, standards of spelling and grammar.
the brain washing theme, if you don’t mind me getting a wee bit political. The English, having voted for Brexit, unlike the canny Scots and Irish, are now bleating about justice, from French - the language not the people - oh hang on… They also think they were tricked at the ballot, which derives from Latin, through Italian, meaning the throwing of pebbles into a box, which is how votes were often cast in ancient Roman times. Imagine using stones to decide on democratic decisions, sounds awfully American. The English supporters of Brexit have now decided to stage a guerilla, or little war, against all our lovely neighbours to defend their country… or as the French put it cuntree. Trust me, I didn’t make that last word up.
We’ll wrap things up on
59
“From Works Of Art to a Log Burner, A Seat In The Garden to a Fire Pit Paul Cowan should be your First Call”
Facebook: Paul Thesculptor Cowan Email: 60 paulthesculptor@hotmail.co.uk
Phone: 07581207988
A Professionally Designed Website for just £20 per month? Your website is the first thing anyone sees when they are looking for your services. And you will only get one chance at a first impression. So don’t settle for 2nd best.
If your website is to be truly effective it needs: • Its own domain eg https://mybusiness.com • Email addresses that are myname@mybusiness.com (a hotmail account just doesn’t look good in business) • A fast and secure host • Properly backed up every night
We are now offering a complete Wordpress website including development, annual domain registration and hosting for just £20 per month. (Up to 5 pages, ecommmerce sites also available. Please see our website for more information) Mellow Media has been helping businesses of all sizes for more than 40 years and has experience with designing websites from the ground up as well as WordPress sites.
https://mellow-media.com info@mellow-media.com (By Design Websites is now part of Mellow Media)
61
Comment In all the years I have been writing in a magazine, I have always managed to keep away from politics. But the time has come when simply sitting by and watching injustices happen on a daily basis has to stop. So from this magazine onwards I intend to write a little about how I see the UK is heading. These are just my opinions, of course, and if I upset anyone then so be it. Maybe I might just get some readers to think a little about the way they are being misused. As I write this, towards the end of January, Boris has said he plans on travelling to Scotland to “thank� people for their help in battling the pandemic. I assume he will come with his entourage and so we will have a bunch of people basically breaking the law by making a journey that is patently unnecessary. I am at a loss as to how he can be so unbelievably stupid to think this action is either justified or necessary - it brings Cummings to mind again. If he wants to thank the NHS, then pay the staff properly and fund it
62
properly. And stop wasting so much money by giving it to cronies and friends as the press has frequently shown us is still happening. Throughout the entire pandemic the UK government has acted too little too late. They have let people travel into the country at will, and even now are only taking a small step towards shutting the borders. Never have they followed scientific advice apart from the bits they liked (or understood) and then far too late in the day for them to be effective. And yet Boris has the nerve to stand and say the government has done everything they could to tackle the virus! Frequent polls have shown a desire for Scotland to break away from the UK and become an independent country once again. The UK government generally reacts by saying that Scotland would struggle if it didn’t have the support of the UK. But this is like telling a prisoner that they should stay in jail because the jailer feeds
them and gives them a roof over their head. It ignores the fact that the prisoner is not free! A very long time ago, local governments raised taxes in the rates property owners paid, and used these to pay for the services needed in the local community. It was not a perfect system, but at least it meant that people had some control over local expenditure. The system was changed some years back so that the taxes raised now go to central government and are distributed as central government sees fit. This is very much how the UK government appear to view Scotland (and Northern Ireland and Wales) - we all pay our taxes to the central government and they decide how much each country gets. It means that the UK parliament can continue to control everyone. But why are the Conservatives, especially the ones in power right now, so very bad at democracy? I think it probably stems from the way they have been educated to believe they are superior to the rest of us, that they have almost a God
given right to rule us. The sad thing is that their education has sadly missed out on the scientific reasoning that they so sorely need. So perhaps they don’t ignore the advice, they simply cannot understand it. When I was a university lecturer, one of my classes had 120 students, all studying electronic engineering. I asked them one day, “How many of you have ever considered going into politics?� The answer? None of them. And that is the problem, politics generally attracts the wrong people. And until we get logical, compassionate thinkers entering politics, I fear that no UK government will ever understand science and be able to listen to advice from a scientist, because they will never understand it. Nicola Sturgeon studied Law and she talks to us, explains things. Boris Johnson studied Classics and went on into journalism, perhaps this is where he gained his amazing imagination which allows him to make it up as he goes along.
63
Tech Tips If you noticed the page where you can load this magazine from on our website, you might have seen that I referred to some alternative browsers to Chrome. While Chrome still dominates the browsers I have found that it is not ideal, especially on slower Android devices and I have been looking at some of the alternatives. Vivaldi A browser I discovered recently. Based on the same engine as Chrome, Brave and Edge, Vivaldi offers a secure user interface and syncing between computers. It does not track you, unlike Chrome and Edge and has an inbuilt ad killer and tracker blocker. What I find interesting about this browser is that it includes a really good email client built in. It is only in Beta and you need to download one of the “Snapshot” versions of Vivaldi and enable it to get access to the email client but I think it is worth a look. You can get the browser if you go to https:// vivaldi.com/blog/desktop/ snapshots/ Once you have downloaded it and run the installer etc., then you need to go to the address bar and enter vivaldi://experiments/ and press enter. Then you need to tick the Calendar, Mail and Feeds. Once you have restarted Vivaldi
64
the email client will be there. Like all email clients, it does take some work to get going with it but if you need some pointers just send me an email. Brave I also like this browser, it blocks trackers as well as invasive ads. It is also very much faster than Chrome. If you want or need increased security you can open a private tab using tor which passes you through several layers before connecting you to the site you want. Still fast, but also very much more secure. Edge I never thought I would say this, but Microsoft’s current version of Edge is quite good. In many ways I find it better than Chrome so maybe Microsoft has, at last, begun to make a browser than is a worthy opponent to Chrome. I know there are other browsers out there, but Firefox, which I used to like, does not handle the magazine very well, especially on an Android mobile, so I longer recommending it. Why not give them all a try and see which you prefer. Search Engines With all browsers, you can select which search engine to use - I
would recommend you give the strangely named DuckDuckGo a try. I have found it gives more relevant results than google nowadays. And it doesn’t track your searching and sell it.
some. Facebook constantly monitors every phone where it has been installed, even if you are not logged in. It records where you go and when, who you message and who messages you and more.
WhatsApp Once again, WhatsApp has been in the news because of a change that Facebook, who own it, are making to the terms and conditions.
All this data is sold on to advertisers who bombard us with unwanted rubbish.
You will probably be aware that Facebook are massive data grabbers and they exist solely for that purpose. The Facebook that you use to chat with your friends is not there for your benefit, it is there to harvest data for the owners. I often hear people say things like “I’ve nothing to hide so why should I worry?” when asked about the way big technical companies are gathering every last bit of data they can about you. Well, I would ask you how comfortable you would feel if you knew that someone like Trump had access to everything you said, every website you visited, every text and email you sent, where you ate and shopped, and who you met. Right now all this data is being gathered, but there are some safeguards built in - not many but
But imagine you decide you wish to run for a position in government, or just in the local community and the opposition in parliament / council have all this information about you, do you think they would not make use of it? Sadly in the UK and in many countries, governments spend more time trying to slag off the opposition than they do in trying to do their job. Given the chance they will always do a hatchet job on anyone who stands against them - look what they did to Jeremy Corbyn, imagine how bad it could have been if they had the access to data that Facebook and Google (for example) have. Or maybe they do? So yes, I do think we need our security, and no, I no longer feel that the UK government, at least, has the interests of its people at heart. jeremy@mellow-media.com
65
Are you depressed? Where is your happiness? Next time you are depressed, perhaps it would be an idea to try to find your happiness! I mean that quite sincerely. We lose our happiness when we lose sight of the things we have to be happy about. If there was a prize for naming the most things that make us happy I guess we could all be strong contenders in that competition! That is because we ALL have things in our lives to be happy about, but we don’t always think of them. Remembering and appreciating those things is a good remedy to squash depression. Happiness is a state of mind, it is not due to a set of circumstances. I have clients who have told me about all the material things they have, villas, swimming pools, money in the bank, caring partners‌and still they are not happy. When we get to that stage in our lives we need to be very basic and think about fundamental things to lift ourselves up, and I think the most basic happiness is that WE WOKE UP this morning, when millions of people didn’t. They would probably have given anything to swap places with us, just to have the chance
66
to live for another day, even with the problems we feel are pulling us down. I was impressed one day when I met a paraplegic woman in a wheelchair outside of a shop. She was very distorted, even facially, and one leg was dramatically twisted. I started to feel sorry for her till I saw the smile on her face, and heard the cheery words she was saying to people coming in and out of the shop. I was moved to silent tears, as I had forgotten to think of the things I had to be happy about in my life on that particular day. As I came out of the shop I touched her shoulder and told her she was wonderful. She really made my day, and I have never forgotten her. Perhaps we could think of her if we feel depressed, and be grateful for all the things we take for granted. Happiness makes us stronger, and people with strength attract others, and that can make us even happier, so the circle goes
on, starting off by being happy about just one or two things and it just grows!! There is nothing like sitting and thinking silently and privately for a few moments about the good things in our lives,… and we all have them. Like just having another day to live, for a start… what a bonus! What are we going to do with
it….mentally, if not physically? Don’t let’s waste it with negative thoughts that pull us down. If you feel your life has been a large area of unattractive waste ground, plant seeds of happiness! Once you plant them, just watch them grow!! Why not try it?!… Till next time. Violet King
With thanks to Violet for her interesting article once again. If you have a question you would like to ask her, please email us at the magazine and we will pass it on to her. editor@tickledsquirrel.com
67
Stay On Top Of Your Finances Would you like to know how much money you will have at the end of next week? If so, then read on. Keeping track of your money is important, perhaps even more so nowadays. But how do you keep an eye on your credit and debit cards, perhaps two bank accounts, standing orders, direct debits? Mellow Media Budget is the answer. Developed as a tool for our own use, and then enhanced for general use, it is completely free to use. No charges ever. It might be convenient when apps like this connect directly to your bank account but I, for one, do not like this type of risk, so Mellow Media Budget is completely stand alone. And no personal information is needed apart from your email address for logging in.
68
Based on a calendar that shows you one month at a time, you see the whole month on a PC and a scrolling list of dates on a small screen. You can enter regular incomes such as wages or pensions and regular payments such as mortgage, rent, insurance, as well as one off purchases you might make such as groceries or petrol for example. You can have multiple bank accounts and credit cards and also transfer money between them with ease. You can even have accounts in different currencies. And best of all, once you have all
Keep Track Of Your Money We all have bank accounts and bank cards, and keeping track of our money can be difficult at times. Budget can help. It is a completely free, online budgeting program that is easy to use. You can enter regular incomes and outgoings as well as individual amounts. You can have multiple bank accounts. No personal or bank details need be entered. Why not give it a try?
your regular ins and outs recorded you will be able to see where you will be into the future, and how much you can afford to spend at any given time. You can also see how much you have spent or received in the month on individual classifications (such as groceries or petrol) or you can compare spending over the 12 months up to the current month with the previous 12 months so you can see how your financial position
is changing. Mellow Media Budget runs online so you can access it from your phone, tablet or computer, anywhere you have internet access. It is constantly being upgraded as new features are added and each new version will be automatically available to you at no cost. Why not give it a try, it’s completely free?
https://mellow-media.com/budget 69
Effective Website and Software Design
+44 (0) 7964 262 288 info@mellow-media.com https://www.mellow-media.com (By Design Websites is now part of Mellow Media)
70
Puzzle Solutions
Easy
Medium Fun Quiz Answers 1. Papa 2. High Noon 3. Ballroom Dancing 4. Biopsy 5. Avalon 6. Bud 7. West Sussex 8. Pork 9. 15 10. Tsar
Hard
Very hard 11. Clint Eastwood 12. Cameo 13. Breadsticks 14. Abdication 15. Operation 16. Henry VIII 17. Boar 18. Gwyneth Paltrow 19. Assisi 20. Decibels
71
