MC CLUB MEMBER RANKINGS
WALKER
Aknock sounded loudly on the apartment door, dragging me from my sleep. Vincent was curled up behind me, his arm slung over my waist. It was too goddamn early in the morning to be bothered. I’d just gotten back from a fucking three-day long run at two A.M., so whoever was knocking on the door at six in the fucking morning was asking for an ass beating.
“Go away!” I shouted, pulling the pillow over my head.
“Walker, I need you for something,” Logan called.
I sighed and dragged the pillow off my face. Vincent softly chuckled from behind me and pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder. “Might want to go find out what he wants,” he told me quietly.
I agreed. Though I wasn’t ashamed to be with Vincent at all, we hid it from the club because of me. I didn’t like people in my personal life. I couldn’t stand it. And while each member of the club was like a brother to me, I’d gone through too much shit both as a child and as a soldier to be comfortable with people interfering in shit.
And though I knew the club would be supportive, it would feel intrusive.
So, the club was just under the impression that Vincent and I were so fucking close that we shared a room. We even had a second bed in here, but we always slept together.
Hell, Vincent and I did everything together, including fucking. Don’t get me wrong—we both enjoyed our fair share of women, but they were just that—women. They weren’t Vince.
“I’m fucking getting up,” I called.
I slid out of bed and snatched up a pair of jeans. I hadn’t had a chance to get laundry done. The other guys had old ladies to take care of their shit, but Vince and I were on our own. Though I knew Penny helped keep Vincent’s shit clean and washed, she didn’t touch mine.
It was out of respect for me, and I appreciated it. Something as simple as having someone clean my shit was too damn much for me to handle.
I’d had my independence stripped of me one too many times. I was a control freak, but Vincent helped level that out some so I wasn’t so ornery.
“You need to get laundry done at some point today,” Vincent told me.
I sighed and scrubbed a hand through my hair, searching through my drawers for a clean shirt. Low and behold, I didn’t fucking have one—not that much of a surprise.
I groaned. “I’m taking one of your shirts,” I told him as I walked toward his dresser.
He shrugged. “What’s mine is yours, babe.”
I snatched a plain black t-shirt out of his drawer and yanked it over my head. Vincent was a bit bigger than me—fucker was decked out like The Rock, always had been—so his shirt hung a little loose on me, but I wasn’t complaining. It was a clean shirt.
“Got a feeling Logan’s going to need my help with some shit for the day,” I told him. “You mind throwing me a load of clothes in the washer?”
Vincent didn’t seem shocked by my request. Fucker knew me well enough by now. If I asked for help with a responsibility, he didn’t bat an eye. He just did it, and I was thankful for it. It made my skin crawl when someone gave me shit for that.
“Yeah; I’ve got you.” He got up from the bed as I sat down to tug my boots on. He braced his hands on either side of me and leaned
in, taking my lips in a hard, deep kiss. I moaned, dragging him closer to me, hating that Logan had come crashing in on my morning with Vince.
I hadn’t seen him in three fucking days, and I’d been piss tired when I came in the door. I just crashed in bed—boots and all. Vincent had undressed me so I could fucking sleep comfortably.
“Be safe,” he told me.
I gripped the back of his neck, holding his forehead to mine. “Always.”
“SURVEILLANCE?” I demanded, my hands on my hips as I regarded Logan with a disgusted expression. “Brother, I could have been at the garage.” Or enjoying my morning with Vince.
He shrugged. “If I’ve got to be on the field, I want someone with me that I know can watch my back.”
I shot him a deadpan expression. “It’s surveillance.”
He shrugged at me and climbed into his SUV. With a disgusted shake of my head, I climbed into the passenger seat. Logan handed me a cup of coffee. I frowned but took it, ignoring the way my skin crawled. It was a small act, and I knew he didn’t mean shit by it, but it still got to me.
Hell, years later, and I was stilltrying to grow accustomed to the old ladies making food for us.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“Thank Vince,” he told me. “He made it.”
I relaxed at that. I could deal with Vincent making my coffee.
“So, why are you on the field today?” I asked him. Normally, Logan kept out of the public eye when it came to his security company. Only a select few knew who they worked for. Logan continued working at the garage. He tried to keep the club as far away from his shit as possible. Hell, we barely mentioned it in the clubhouse.
“Special request,” he told me, not saying anything more. I grunted at that answer. “Sorry, brother; client confidentiality.”
I just nodded once, letting it go. I didn’t like going into a job where I didn’t know all the facts, even if it was just surveillance, but I trusted Logan. I knew he wouldn’t put me in shit I couldn’t handle.
When we got to the location, hours of silence followed. Logan explained to me who we were looking for, but that was about it. I finished my coffee, got out for a little while to stretch my legs and take a piss, and then sat for even longer.
About three in the afternoon, my phone rang. I sighed and pulled it out, frowning at Copper’s name on the screen. “Yeah?” I grunted when I answered.
“I know you’re doing some shit with Logan, but I need you back at the clubhouse pronto,” he ordered.
“On it.” I hung up and looked at Logan. “Sorry to cut this shit short,” notreally, “but Copper needs me back at the clubhouse—said pronto.”
Logan muttered a curse but nodded his head. Even he knew when the president called, you moved your ass. It was one of the things I loved about being a member of the Savage Crows MC. There was structure, leadership, people to answer to. I’d go stir crazy if I didn’t have fucking structure.
Logan quickly got us on the main highway and did a bit over the speed limit to get me back to the clubhouse. Once I got there, Copper was waiting outside for me, an impatient look on his face. I instantly picked out Alejandro’s SUV amongst the other few cars in the lot.
Fuck.
This wasn’t good.
I quickly jumped out and walked towards him, arching an eyebrow. “Chapel,” he ordered, spinning on his heel in a perfect about-face that would have made any drill sergeant proud. I followed him into the chapel where Alejandro was already waiting, his back to us as he looked out the window. But he turned at our entrance. Copper shut the doors behind us, locking the three of us in the room.
“What’s going on?” I demanded to know, my voice hard and steely.
“I need your help,” Alejandro told me. That surprised me. “I can’t rely on my men for this. I need someone experienced in living off the grid. I looked into the Texas charter first, but no one fit what I needed. Sons of Hell are too close to home for me to even begin looking into them. Pick was between you and Vincent, but I chose you.”
“Why not Vince?” I demanded. Vince had more background for this. He’d been in the service longer, had all sorts of medals, badges, and patches from his service before he was dishonorably discharged for disobeying orders, all so he could come find me.
“Because Vincent is unreliable in a mission.” I gritted my teeth. “He gave up everything to come find you, left the fight he should have been in. While that shows an amazing bond between the two of you, it does me no good for this. What’s to stop him from abandoning this mission if he finds out you’re in trouble?”
My jaw tightened, and I worked on reining in my temper. I didn’t fucking like it when people bad-mouthed Vincent. While I knew what he said made sense, it still rubbed me the wrong fucking way.
Vince was the best guy I’d ever fucking known, and I wouldn’t be standing here today if it weren’t for him. He’d saved me in more ways than one. Hell, that fucker was still saving me to this damn day.
“I’ve just rescued my little cousin. She’s been missing for five fucking years—went missing at the age of sixteen. Found her at an auction. She’s at your drop-off location, waiting for you to get there. I’ve started a fucking war, but I need her safe, and you’re the man for that job.”
Fuck. My conscious wouldn’t allow me to not take a job that involved a woman needing protection. It wasn’t how I operated. I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “What’s this job entail?” I asked.
“You’ll be going off the grid,” Alejandro told me as Copper lit a cigarette. I knew the man had cut back a hell of a lot, rarely even smoking anymore, but I also knew how stressful it was on him for one of his men to go out on a mission like this. “I’m willing to pay
you two million for your time.” I had to stop my jaw from smacking the floor. “I just need her protected. I’ll come into the mountains for you two when this shit is over with.”
“Two fucking million?” I demanded.
Alejandro nodded. “Two million. I’ll give it to you now, and you can put it away. I will one hundred percent pay upfront.”
“Jesus fuck,” I breathed. I nodded once. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
We shook hands on it. Alejandro inclined his head to me in respect once our hands dropped. He pushed open the door, and a man came in, dropping a duffel bag of cash at my feet. I looked up at Alejandro. “Pack a bag, and pack as light as you can.”
I snatched up the bag and spun on my heel, walking out of the chapel, pulling my phone from my pocket to call Vincent. He answered on the third ring. “Fuck. Hold on. Let me get out of the garage,” he told me. I waited until some of the noise died down and he spoke again. “Walker, what’s up?”
“Just got hired to do a job for Alejandro,” I told him. “Got two mil for doing this shit.”
Vincent was quiet for a moment. “Higher pay means a deadlier job.”
I sighed. “I know.”
He cleared his throat. “You going to be okay with me sitting out on this, babe?” he asked quietly. “I know sleep is still rough. And these people don’t fucking know you like I do.”
I drew in a deep breath, dropping the duffel on my bed. “Going to have to be,” I told him honestly. “I’ll survive. Been surviving my entire fucking life.”
I heard his bike start, and a small smile twitched at my lips. I knew he wouldn’t let me leave without seeing me first. “Goddammit, Walker, I want you to live—not just survive.” I didn’t say anything. He and I both knew how hard that shit was for me. “Don’t leave until I see you, you hear me?”
“Loud and clear.”
He hung up. I dropped my phone on the bed and zipped up the bag, leaving it on the bed. Then, I grabbed my bag from the Marines
and began rolling up necessities into it: blanket, lighters, fire starters, etc. I even jogged downstairs and grabbed a small pot so we could boil water to drink.
Vincent strode into the room, shutting the door behind him. Then, he backed me up against the wall, his hand sliding around my throat as he kissed me, his tongue sliding with mine. I moaned, kissing him back just as hungrily, my hands gripping his ass to pull him tighter against me.
“You come back home to me fucking alive and breathing, you hear me? Or I’ll destroy this entire fucking world. I’ll burn it to the goddamn ground.”
I kissed him again. “I’m not leaving you, Vince. I didn’t back then, and I’m not going to now.”
He rested his forehead on mine and shut his eyes, pulling himself together. Then, he crushed me to him. We held each other for a good minute. “I don’t trust anyone that’s not me to look out for you,” he rasped.
“I need you to trust me,” I pleaded.
He nodded. “I do—just hate not being there by your side.”
I released him and nodded towards the bag on the bed. “Get that put in the safe, will you?”
He nodded and then gripped the side of my neck, his eyes boring into mine. “I love you, Walker. Don’t make me bury you.”
My chest caved in at the raw sadness and worry in his eyes. “I love you, too,” I quietly told him.
I knew this was hard on him. Even when we didn’t do runs together, I still had the backing of the club.
Now, it was just about to be me, a strange woman I didn’t know, and the wilderness. I had no backup, and I had no help.
We walked downstairs after I shouldered my bag. Vincent narrowed his eyes at Alejandro. “Something happens to him because of this shit, and I swear to God, asshole, I’ll destroy your entire goddamn empire.”
Alejandro nodded once at him. If he had read up on Vincent, then he knew Vince wasn’t one to cross. He’d mutilated every
fucking enemy soldier that had put their hands on me before he got me out of that fucking camp.
I climbed into Alejandro’s SUV, my phone still in the apartment upstairs. It wouldn’t do me any good to where we were about to go, and I knew off the grid meant nothing. No technology. No help.
You were on your own.
“And that, Walker, is why I didn’t choose Vincent for this mission. He’d destroy his own club if it meant vengeance on you.”
I didn’t say anything because I knew he was right. In Vincent’s world, I was the only fucking thing that mattered.
NOVA
Everything that had happened after I’d been rescued had happened fast. Alejandro had snatched me from the building I’d been held captive in as gunfire rang out around us. I’d screamed the entire time, and then, when we were safe in his SUV and driving away, I cried.
I cried so many tears that I wasn’t sure if I had any left.
Right away, Alejandro had taken me to his massive home, had given me clothes to wear, and he told me to get a shower. He didn’t rush me, but I could tell he was pressed for time. So, instead of taking the time to finally bathe by myself instead of someone bathing me, I’d rushed through the process and managed to get out in under five minutes.
Without a word, he’d shoved two granola bars in my hands, promised an actual meal in a little bit, and got me back into his SUV. From there, he’d driven me straight to the hospital where I was tested for STDs. Three days later, by the grace of God, I came back negative for everything.
According to the doctor, I was one of the lucky few.
After that, Alejandro bundled me up, packed me a small, light backpack with clothes, a sleeping bag, and some other stuff I didn’t even know the names of, and he flew me out to where I was now. Alaska.
And no, I hadn’t been dropped off in some town. He’d put me here in the middle of nowhere with seven of his men. I had a feeling there were even more surrounding the area, keeping me protected. Alejandro had never done things half-assed, and I knew since he’d found me and rescued me, my security would be even higher.
My head still felt like it was spinning from everything I’d gone through. And while I hated being shoved up into Alaska, I knew Alejandro was just trying to keep me safe while he did what he had to do. At least it was Summer here, so the weather was tolerable. But I had a feeling that the nights would still really suck. I wasn’t looking forward to them.
I slept in a tent that night with two men in the tent with me, machine guns draped across their thighs. When I woke up the next morning, bright light was overhead, I was alone, and I could hear the sound of a chopper above me.
I quickly scrambled out of my tent, my heart hammering against my ribs, wondering if I should run. But if the men weren’t shooting or shouting orders, then that meant I was safe, right?
God, I hoped so.
I looked up, shielding my eyes. A soft gasp ripped from my lips when I saw a guy jump out of the chopper. I squeaked in alarm, my hands slapping over my mouth so I wouldn’t scream and give myself away. I didn’t breathe again until I saw his parachute pop out, and his descent slowly began to decrease in speed.
I had been expecting my cousin to come back at the very least, but instead, the chopper flew off. I watched as the guy landed on his feet and disconnected himself from his equipment. He then nodded once at one of Alejandro’s men before looking toward me.
I swallowed thickly. Holy shit, he was gorgeous. Dirty blonde hair was tousled on the top of his head, and his eyes were dark—almost sinister as they regarded me. Through his eyes, I could see the darkness that tainted his soul, but for some reason, I knew it wasn’t the same kind of darkness that the men I’d been rescued from had inside of them.
This was more of a personal darkness, like something tragic had happened to him as well, and I latched on to that. He was a kindred
soul. Maybe he would understand how I felt inside.
“What’s your name?” he demanded to know as he walked closer to me. His voice was gruff, and it felt like steel rubbing across my skin. He definitely wasn’t going to be soft and tender during our time together, and I was a bit thankful for that. I didn’t want to be treated differently just because of the horror I had suffered.
I just wanted to be treated normally. I wasn’t broken. I was okay.
“Nova,” I softly answered him. “Nova Garcia.”
“Walker Jones,” he told me. He nodded towards the slope of the mountain. “Let’s go. We don’t have much time to waste.”
Nodding and taking my pack that one of Alejandro’s men handed to me, I quickly fell into step beside him. During rougher parts, he held my elbow, keeping me supported to help me so I wouldn’t fall flat on my face or bust my ass. His touch made my skin tingle instead of repulsing me like the touch of so many other men had.
Maybe it was because I knew in my gut that this man would never hurt me like that.
“How do you know my cousin?” I asked him after a few long minutes of silence. Or maybe it was an hour later. Hell, I didn’t know. I had no way to tell the time out here.
“Work for him,” was Walker’s only answer. I frowned. Was he going to be this tight-lipped the entire time we were out here? I hated the silence. It gave me too much time to think.
I gritted my teeth. “I don’t bite, you know. And I’m not someone you have to tiptoe around.”
He heaved a heavy, agitated sigh. “I’m trying to focus here, Nova.”
“On what?” I demanded. “The fucking trees?”
He spun around to face me. I jerked back from him in surprise, losing my footing as I did so. He reached out and quickly grasped my arm, keeping me on my feet. Once I was steady, he let me go. “Look, I appreciate that you’re trying to break the tension or whatever, but I do need to focus. There are predators out here— things that will mutilateus if I’m not paying attention. When we get to where we’re going to for shelter, talk my ear off all you want, but not right now, yeah?”
I swallowed thickly and nodded my head, not saying another word. With a soft sigh, he turned back around and began leading me further up the mountain. This time, I stayed quiet. Occasionally, he pulled a map out of his pocket and checked it, but then he continued on in silence.
It was driving me mad because in the silence, I was left to my own thoughts, and I didn’t do good with those anymore. And it left me more susceptible to fear when something as simple as a freaking tree limb brushed my body.
I wasn’t broken, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t left with unseen scars.
IT FELT like hours before we finally reached the place Walker wanted to use for shelter. It was a small cave, not very deep, but it would do good to house us while we were out here in the wilderness. Thankfully, we hadn’t seen any predators, but I’d been chilled to my bones when I heard a wolf howl. Walker had just motioned for me to stay silent and continue moving. It had taken every ounce of my courage to not grasp onto his jacket sleeve and never let him go.
So, the sight of that cave almost made me cry in relief.
“I’m going to get a fire started,” he told me, finally breaking the silence that had been between us. He dropped his bag to the ground. “Go ahead and lay out your sleeping bag.” He grabbed a granola bar from a pocket in his pack. “Eat this. It should last you until I can get us something more sustainable for dinner.”
I quickly began to munch on the granola bar, and Walker shoved my trash into his bag before he began to gather stuff from outside of the cave to get a fire started, including wood for when the fire blazed.
I watched as he worked while I laid out my sleeping bag. I asked him if he wanted me to do his, but the way he snapped at me when I offered had me cringing away. He muttered an apology before focusing back on his task at hand. I decided right then that I
wouldn’t ask him if he wanted me to do anything else for him. The guy clearly had some unresolved issues, and I didn’t want him taking them out on me when I was just trying to be nice.
It didn’t take him long to get the fire started. Once the wood caught up, he got to his feet fluidly, looking down at me. “I’m going to find us dinner. When I get back, I’ll get us some water.”
With that, he spun on his heel and disappeared from the cave. I frowned over at the pot near his bag. “I’m not fucking handicapped,” I muttered. I stalked over to his bag and snatched up the pot, going to find the stream of water we had passed on our way through.
He probably didn’t want me to leave the cave, but the stream wasn’t that far away. I should be fine. He’d made sure to put us close to a water source.
“I’ll show you,” I grumbled under my breath as I made my way down to the stream. “I’m not some fucking incapable woman just because of the shit I’ve gone through.”
BY THE TIME Walker made it back to the cave with a dead rabbit, the water was thoroughly boiled, and I had it set aside to cool. He frowned at it before shaking his head, draping the skinned rabbit over the fire to cook.
“You didn’t have to get the water,” he quietly told me, “but thanks.”
I shrugged as I wrapped my arms around my knees. “I can do things, too,” I told him.
He sighed. “I know. Just don’t like you doing it.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I stayed silent. Something in the way he spoke that sentence told me he wasn’t saying it to be nice or flirty. He really didn’t like me doing things to help—and not because he wanted to take care of me.
This man was fighting his own demons, and I had a feeling I’d sort of made it worse with my simple act of getting water. I suddenly felt bad, but I pushed it aside.
WALKER
Pain.
ThatwasallIwascapableoffeeling.
I groaned when a boot slammed against my ribs, momentarily knocking the breath from my lungs. Pain exploded downmyspinewhenanotherbootslammedintomyback.
I couldn’t breathe—couldn’t think. And I couldn’t run, not with myhandsandfeettiedtogether .
I was immobilized, completely at their mercy. Just like they fuckingwantedme.
“Tell us whatyou know,” one of the men snarled in my ear, his middle-easternaccentthickinhiswords.
I spit blood onto the ground. My head was throbbing. “I don’t know anything,” I groaned. And I didn’t. All men like me did was follow fucking orders. We didn’t knowthe whys oftheoperation. If theArmywantedustothink,they’dpayusmoretodoit.
His hand wrapped tightly around my throat, cutting off my air supply.“Youknowsomething,”hehissed.
I JERKED AWAKE, flying into a sitting position. My heart was pounding in my chest, and cold sweat had broken out over my skin.
I hadn’t had a flashback in ages—fucking two years to be exact. And I knew why I was having them now.
Vincent wasn’t here with me. I wasn’t surrounded by the brothers I’d come to think of as family. It was just me and a stranger —a woman I didn’t know much about other than her name.
I didn’t have any security out here.
I blew out a soft breath and looked down at my watch, noting that it was four in the morning. Nova was still passed out in her sleeping bag between me and the fire.
I dragged my hand down my face.
I missed Vincent like a mother fucker. If he were with me, I’d be in his arms as he wrapped me up in his strength, holding me together until I felt strong enough to do it on my own.
But I didn’t have Vincent here.
I just had myself.
Shaking the rest of the sleep from my brain, I stood to my feet. Trying to get more sleep would be useless now, so I shoved my feet into my boots and grabbed my jacket from beside my sleeping bag. While Nova was still sleeping, I would just go out to get breakfast. Hopefully, the hunt would distract me enough from the shit rolling through my head.
I couldn’t cope.
I’d never grasped how to.
I looked up at the dark, starlit sky when I stepped out of the cave, rubbing at my chest where it ached. “I fucking need you, man,” I whispered, wishing like hell Vincent was with me now. “I don’t know if I’m capable of going this long without you.”
WHEN I CAME BACK to camp, Nova was up and dressed, though she still looked pretty tired.
But fuck, she was pretty. She was fucking stunning, really. Dark hair hung straight down her back, and her dark eyes regarded me
openly, allowing me to see all of the pain and darkness that tainted her soul, just like mine did.
And she had a fiery temper about her that drew me in. I could easily see she didn’t take shit lying down. God only knew the hell she’d put the people who kidnapped her through.
And she didn’t just sit around not doing anything, either. She was willing to help. She wasn’t one to just idly sit by.
There was something about seeing strength in someone who had gone through a traumatic experience that lit my soul on fire. So far, Vincent had been the only person who spoke to me on that level.
And now . . . Nova.
I didn’t know how to feel about that.
“How long have you been up?” she quietly asked.
I just shrugged. “A while,” I gruffly responded as I draped the rabbit over the fire.
How was I meant to explain to a woman that I couldn’t seem to sleep without the comfort of my man at my side? I wasn’t ashamed of my sexuality; I just . . . I didn’t know how to fucking open up to people that weren’t Vincent.
I didn’t even open up to my brothers.
She yawned and rubbed her eyes, looking fucking adorable as she did so. I frowned at my thoughts and looked anywhere but her, unable to look her in the face right then.
I snatched up the pot. “Keep an eye on this,” I told her gruffly as I strode towards the exit of the cave. “I’m going to get some water.”
I needed to get away from her and wrap my head around this shit and how I felt about Nova.
It was so strange . . . and strange shit made my skin crawl. I needednormalcy—craved it. Couldn’t survive and function without it.
I felt Nova’s worried gaze on my back until I disappeared out of the cave and from her sight.
Give me some guidance here, Vince, because I’ve got no idea whatthefucktodo, I silently pled.
“Alejandro was my closest cousin growing up,” I started, drawing Walker’s dark eyes back to me. A chill raced down my spine when our eyes connected, but it wasn’t a bad chill. It was . . comforting. “But then, he started building his empire, and we drifted apart. I think he blames himself for what happened to me.”
Walker cocked his head to the side the slightest bit as he studied me. “What happened to you, Nova?”
I snapped my mouth shut, not ready to talk about it yet. I felt like I was doing pretty well so far. Granted, I hadn’t had much time to dwell on anything, but I wasn’t flinching away from men. I was standing on my own two feet.
Instead of answering, I sighed and laid back down in my sleeping bag. I vaguely heard Walker snort, but I ignored him, instead turning on my side away from him.
I wasn’t ready to talk. And I knew that was hypocritical of me since I’d been pestering Walker with questions, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk about any of this yet.
I was terrified of what would happen when I did.
I was terrified of crumbling.
A HAND RAN up the inside of my naked thigh before the leering, beardedman leaning over me pried my legsapart. I screamed and kickedoutathim,tryingtogetoutofhishold.I’dbeendealingwith thisforyears,andstill,Irefusedtogodownwithoutafight.
Twoothermensteppedforwardoutoftheshadows,andeachof themgrabbed one of my ankles,holding me down. Tears streamed downmy face as Iyankedattheropesholdingmywrists,wishingI couldpummelthebastardabouttoripinsideofme.
He fisted his cock in his hands, inching towards my abused entrance. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to lock it down.
IfIcouldn’tgetfree,hewasn’tgettinganysatisfactionoutofmy cries,either .
When Iopened my eyes again, I was staring up at the ceiling. My tears were dried, my breathing even. I blocked it allout, and I didn’tevenflinchwhenheshovedhimselfinsideofmydrychannel.
SOMEONE WAS SCREAMING.
My eyes flew open just as Walker dragged me out of my sleeping bag, his hold on me tight and unforgiving as I thrashed in his hold, sobs tearing from my lips. But he didn’t release his hold on me. He just crushed me to him as I straddled his thighs, crying so hard I could hardly breathe.
“I’m here,” he soothed. “Just breathe, Nova. Breathe. You’re safe here.”
I hadn’t had a flashback since I’d been rescued. Hell, in my flashback, I hadn’t even been screaming anymore.
But that didn’t mean that terrified girl inside of my mind wasn’t. She had been beating on the walls of her cage, screaming her heart out, begging for a savior.
She never stopped begging.
“Make it stop!” I wailed, clawing at my skin. “They’re touching me,” I cried. “Make it—”
Walker’s mouth crushed to mine. His hand tangled in my hair as he quickly dominated the kiss, angling my head perfectly to dip his tongue between my lips. Our breaths came together as one as he held me to him so closely that I couldn’t tell where my body ended and his began.
We melted into each other.
My tears slowly stopped as Walker plundered my mouth, his free hand running up my back beneath my shirt. When our lips finally parted, his breathing was just as ragged as mine. I moaned softly when he sucked lightly at the lobe of my ear.
“Tell me you want this,” he rasped.
I clutched at his shoulders. “I do,” I whispered. “Walker, please, I’m not broken.” And I wanted to know the touch of a man who
wasn’t going to hurt me.
He shook his head. “You’re right,” he agreed. His eyes connected with mine. The lust in his eyes momentarily knocked the breath from my lungs. “You’re a goddamn survivor, Nova. I don’t know what the fuck happened to you, but you lived. That’s what fucking matters.”
With that, he laid me back on the sleeping bag, his body covering mine as he lowered his lips to mine again. I moaned and reached up to tangle my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, submitting to him.
My virginity had been ripped from me by disgusting assholes, but I was willingly giving myself to Walker in this moment.
This was in my hands, in my control.
And every fiber of my being told me this man would never hurt me.
Walker left trails of hot kisses down my body as he stripped me of my clothes, letting the cooler air wash over my heated skin. He paused at the apex of my thighs once my pussy was bare to him. “I’m clean,” I blurted, my cheeks warming. “Alejandro had me tested.”
I think he muttered something along the lines of “thank fuck” before his head disappeared between my thighs and his lips circled my clit.
My back bowed off the ground, a cry ripping from my lips as I plunged my fingers into his hair, riding his face. He growled against my pussy, lapping up everything I offered him.
Fuck, the way I was responding to his mouth and fingers, you’d think I’d sat my ass on a silver platter for him.
The man was eating me out like he was starved.
I screamed his name as I came, my vision momentarily flashing white at the pure explosiveness and eroticism of it. It was the first orgasm I’d ever had, and it stole the breath from my lungs, leaving me trembling in Walker’s hold.
“Birth control?” he asked as he moved up over me.
“Shot,” I panted.
He slid home, his hands curling over my shoulders. I circled his hips with my legs, linking my ankles behind his back. He thrust into
WALKER
Her screams still haunted me well into the day. And though Nova was acting as if everything was okay, I could see the darkness in her eyes that she had been doing her best to hide the past couple of days. We’d thankfully had rabbit leftover from the night before, so we ate that for breakfast, but when dinner came, I knew I had to go hunt. But I didn’t want to leave her. I wasn’t sure if it was okay to, no matter how much she tried assuring me she was okay.
I wanted to protect her from everything, including the demons that haunted her dreams.
I’d take them inside myself if I fucking could. Something had shifted between us last night when I’d been inside of her. I wanted more of her. I wanted to take care of her, even outside of these mountains. I wanted to claim her in the same way Vincent and I had claimed each other.
But I couldn’t. My loyalty lay with Vince. Vince was the reason I was still breathing today. I could barely cope without him. Even now, as I lay in wait for dinner, my mind was on him, and I was grasping onto that bond I had with him.
I’d fucking self-destruct if what I did with Nova without him destroyed our relationship together.
I couldn’t go through life without him.
Vincent and I had always done everything together, even fucking, since we’d gotten together. Even if one of us didn’t participate, we were always there to watch.
No matter how much Nova and I wanted each other, it couldn’t happen again. I couldn’t jeopardize my relationship with Vincent more than I probably already had.
WHEN I MADE it back to camp, Nova had already gotten more water, and the pot was sitting aside to cool. And upon a closer look at her, it seemed she had cleaned up some, too.
Her eyes followed me, but she didn’t open her mouth to say anything. I set to work skinning and gutting the small animal I’d killed, keeping to myself. After I set it over the fire to roast, I walked towards the opening of the cave. “I’m going to get cleaned up,” I told her gruffly. “Don’t leave this cave.”
I didn’t wait for her response before I walked off again. I stopped down by the stream I got water from and moved further down before I stripped out of my clothes. I sighed in relief when the frigid water wrapped around my body. I sat down in it and dropped my face into my hands, drawing in a deep, shaky breath.
Dark thoughts clouded my brain, feeding off my sadness. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth, trying to remember Vincent’s words to me.
When shit gets dark, babe, you remember me, you hear me? Even when I’m not physically with you, you still carry every single pieceofmy soulwithyou. You holdon tothat.Don’tyou dare ever fuckingleaveme.
Tears slid down my cheeks as that violent urge to do real damage to myself crawled through my mind, blanketing me in darkness.
“I can’t hold the fuck on, Vince,” I whispered. “I’m goddamn drowning.”
WHEN I GOT BACK to the camp, the food was almost done, and Nova was drinking some of the water. She quickly set the pot down. “I’m sorry,” she blurted.
I frowned at her. “For drinking water?” I asked in confusion, my mood forgotten for a moment as I stared at her. What kind of fucked up shit had happened to her?
“No,” she corrected. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have asked you to do that. I’m sure you have someone else at home—”
I sighed. “Don’t be sorry,” I gruffly told her. I heaved a heavy sigh as I dropped down to the ground near her. “Shit with me is . . . complicated,” I finally settled on.
Her hand slid over my knee, and I jumped. She moved to pull away, but I swallowed thickly, holding her hand there. It was . . . comforting, and those dark thoughts in my head silenced a little.
“Can you help me understand?” she asked me. I looked over at her, my eyes instantly connecting with her wide, curious eyes. “I want to understand, Walker.”
I swallowed thickly, my eyes running over her face. Finally, I looked back at the fire. “I’m bisexual,” I told her bluntly. “And I do have someone else at home. Vincent—he’s more than just my best friend, Nova. He’s my savior. He keeps me sane. And we’re together, have been for years now.” I frowned. “We got together when we were both still in the military, and when I was taken as a prisoner of war during an ambush on our platoon, he was the only one who came after me—destroyed his entire military career for me.” Nova drew in a surprised breath of air. “I was barely alive when he found me, but he got me out of there, and he took care of me, carrying me over his shoulders until I was strong enough to walk on my own.” I swallowed thickly. “I owe Vincent my life, but all I’ve got is the broken pieces of me and my love. It all belongs to him.”
“Oh, Walker,” she breathed, her hand finding mine. She laced our fingers together. “It’s hard for you to be away from him, isn’t it?”
NOVA
Hearing that Walker was bi surprisingly turned me on.
I hadn’t expected it to, but suddenly, the thought of watching him with another man had every feminine part of me clenching with desire and need—need for this man sitting beside me, my arms wrapped around him as if I could hold him together.
Most women that had been through something traumatic like me wouldn’t be able to stand being touched. Me? I embraced the fact that my body was finally mine to do with as I pleased. No one was in control of it anymore, not even the demons still locked inside of my head.
I owned my body.
I could decide who got to touch me, who got to fuck me, who got to please me.
I found power and strength again in letting whomever I decided to touch me, touch me.
I could choose whom to screw. No longer could anyone else dictate who did and who didn’t.
It was all me. It was all mydecision.
After we ate, Walker and I ended up cuddling by the fire. I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet, terrified if I did, those dark thoughts in his mind would take over. I wanted to do the best I could to hold them off.
