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Cornel West against the grain

Should children be adult entertainment?

Promoting causes in a digital world Issue 7, December 2011


The Yeti The Yeti


Yeti Monster Coverage.

Yeti Editorial Staff Morgan Kayser Stephanie Hernandez FINANCE MANAGER Stefan Massol NEWS EDITORS Amber Pepe Catalina Chiang VIEWS EDITOR Vincent Dale SPORTS EDITOR Joel Bergholtz ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Nick Cicale ARTS EDITOR Rea Kyani LIFE EDITOR Lurvin Fernandez LITERARY EDITOR Sarah Bishop MARKETING MANAGER Angela McCune ARCHIVIST Mary Fernandez PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Armagan Gurbuz DESIGN EDITOR Emily Skarda COVER ART Tiffany Daswani FACULTY ADVISOR Paul Rutkovsky EDITOR IN CHIEF


The Yeti operates only with the help of a dedicated staff of volunteer writers. We thank them for their hard work and support. If you’d like to get involved with The Yeti, e-mail or visit our website:

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Letter from the Editor In the past few weeks, we’ve started offering journalism workshops to FSU students and Tallahassee community members. One of the most important things our Journalism Basics workshop focuses on is what makes a story newsworthy. I’ve known these rules for a few years (a story should be timely, relevant, have a local impact, have some prominence…), but teaching them to others has made certain stories in this issue stand out. Our story on Cornel West is important because he’s visiting Florida State University in January. Without editing this article, many of our editors wouldn’t have known who West was. Our editors also talked at length about Toddlers and Tiaras, a TLC show that is making increasingly absurd statements about our culture. Our article on Google’s mapping of the rainforest is so cutting-edge, even my techie boyfriend was surprised to read about it, and I was delighted to be able to teach him something new about a topic he loves. That’s what any good piece of journalism should do: get people talking and learning new things. I think this issue truly succeeds in that. Check out these articles, and come to our meetings to pitch your own ideas! Have a happy holiday, a great break, and a wonderful New Year. We’ll see you in 2012. Morgan Kayser Editor in Chief

Mission The Yeti is a student-run, conversation-driven media outlet in Tallahassee that serves our readership by providing an alternative to corporately funded, commercial media. We publish in print twice a semester and online twice a week. We focus on providing new perspectives on current events and investigating under-represented and under-reported local issues. Our aim is to convey the voice of the community in hopes of sparking a dialogue between students and community members, and to create an educated exchange of information that will motivate our readership to be aware and active members of society.

Campus Progress works to help young people — advocates, activists, journalists, artists — make their voices heard on issues that matter. Learn more at

The opinions expressed in the Views section are those of the writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of The Yeti itself.

Table of Contents



Arts & Life

06 California Dream(in’)

12 Toddlers

04 Best Albums




How the California Dream Act is finding its way to Florida

Bank Transfer

This fifth of November will certainly be remembered.

Toddlers and Tiaras is the scariest show on TV.


In the current political and economic climate, an argument for education is more necessary than one would think.

09 Progress Coalition

16 Apple Rant

10 Cornel West

17 Make-up

Find out what this new student union is all about.

Cornel West is comin’ to town-- find out if he’s naughty or nice.

A well-reasoned stance against over-hyped Apple products

Those that shined and those that didn’t

Arrested Development

“There’s always money in the banana stand.”

20 Google Amazon

Google treks through the largest rainforest.

Do cosmetics contribute to gender inequality?


22 Excerpt of Hide and Seek 23 Work Makes One Free Issue 7, December 2011


The Yeti

Biggest Hip Hop Albums The Greatest Story Never Told: Saigon

4.5/5 stars

Saigon’s long-awaited masterpiece achieves everything it set out to be and then some, with stellar pro-

duction, guest vocals, and tightly wound lyrics wrapped around struggle. Unlike Lupe Fiasco’s embarrassingly underwhelming Lasers, Saigon tackles problems in America with rationality and a certain intellectual prose very absent in many other politically driven rappers (See: Lupe, Immortal Technique).

World: The Sideline Story: J. Cole-Cole

4/5 stars

Cole’s debut album faced insurmountable expectations due to his overwhelmingly popular mix-tapes that

could crush many rappers’ best albums, as well as being Jay-Z’s first signee to RocNation. Cole doesn’t flinch though, putting together an album that screams, above all else, a sense of completeness. He gives his long-time faithful followers a gem early on in “Dollar and a Dream III,” goes on to record a slew of motivational braggadocio bangers with, “Mr. Nice Watch,” “Cole World,” and “Rise and Shine.” Before getting emotional in tracks like, “Lights Please,” “Breakdown” and “Lost Ones,” the latter being the passionately complex story of a young couple contemplating abortion, winning the award for song of the year. Cole made his own expectations high and then shattered them, proving it is indeed Cole’s world.

Goblin: Tyler, the Creator

4/5 stars

Devastating. This album-drenched with rape, abortion, anti-religion, psychoanalysis and hate- is every-

thing Odd Future listeners wanted, and then some. While it may be a struggle to hurdle the areas of tiresome beats, repetitive rants, and perverse masochistic tracks, those who do are highly rewarded with a refreshingly original album that offers a window into the lewd mind of the MTV-proclaimed “Best New Artist.” Key tracks include album opener “Goblin,” mega-hit “Yonkers,” and anti-religion anthem “Sandwitches.”

Biggest Rock Albums of 2011 Wasting Light: Foo Fighters 4.5/5 stars

On Wasting Light, the Foo Fighters returned with their heaviest album yet. Although it’s not as diverse

as Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace, it doesn’t have any major flaws and is the band’s most complete work. Whether it’s the emotion driving “I Should Have Known,” the soothing guitar rift that opens “Walk,” or the bizarre syncopations found on the lead single “Rope,” each track has its own redeeming qualities, making it an easy listen from start to finish, and one of the best albums of 2011.

Angles: The Strokes 4/5 stars

For fans, First Impression of Earth made The Strokes sound too polished and mainstream, but 5 years

later they’ve returned to their former glory on Angles. With fuzzy garage band rock, droning vocals, catchy guitar riffs and a few welcome hints of electronic production, the brief but effective Angles turned out to be everything Strokes fans hoped for and then some.

The King of Limbs: Radiohead

3.5/5 stars

It’s not a masterpiece like we’re used to out of Radiohead, but The King of Limbs still left most fans

wowed and confused. Where songs like “Feral” and “Little By Little” lack in conceivable purpose, the genuine beauty of “Bloom,” mysterious groove of “Lotus Flower” and zen of “Codex” definitely carry the album to immeasurable heights.

Mylo Xyloto: Coldplay

3.5/5 stars

At a glance it may sound different and a bit over the top, but with time Mylo Xyloto is just as accessible

as any other one of Coldplay’s works. The album touches all extremes, from grandiose production with a full


orchestra, loud synth and a huge pallet of guitar effects, to acoustic songs that are as personal an encounter as any.

The BEST and WORST of 2011 Biggest Indie Albums of 2011 Father, Son, Holy Ghost: Girls

5/5 stars

This second full-length studio album from San Francisco based band Girls evokes a feeling of nostalgia in its

listeners, while sounding distinctly different from any album that has been released yet. The themes on the album— love, lust, forgiveness, and sorrow—are not new ideas by any means. Front man Christopher Owens’ interpretation of these themes, however, is what sets the band’s sophomore album apart from everyone else. Every song on the album is perfection, and the guitar solos are nothing short of mesmerizing, but the real standout track is “Vomit” which will, without a doubt, be a strong contender for song of the year. Girls’ sophomore effort is staking their claim as the undisputed Indie-Rock Gods. Amen!

Helplessness Blues: Fleet Foxes

4.5/5 stars

“In that dream I could hardly attain it/all my life I will wait to attain it” sings Robin Pecknold on “Grown

Ocean” the closing track of Helplessness Blues. The folk group from Seattle has completely defied any notion of the “sophomore jinx” that plagues its other musical counterpoints with their most recent release. Filled with the same intricate melodies and collective harmonies that the group provided on Fleet Foxes, the band takes it a step further with this album, exploring new territories while remaining true to their original sound.

Bon Iver: Bon Iver 4.5/5 stars

More musically advanced than its predecessor, Bon Iver captures the same sentiments that were captured

in debut For Emma, Forever Ago, such as a longing for escapism, but takes them in a new direction that hasn’t been seen from the group before. Vernon isn’t moping anymore—and we’re okay with it. He seems to be too.

Worst Albums2/5of the Year: Tha Carter IV: Lil Wayne stars

Sober, prison-free, and presumably hungry, Lil Wayne had all the ammunition he needed to deliver the

classic album hip hop fans have been patiently waiting 10+ years for. What resulted was an embarrassing shit-show of played-out metaphors, lazy production value, and a laughable track order. Wayne got so incompetent with this album that he transformed Rick Ross’ 2010 banger “I’m not a Star,” into essentially the same song, even using a Rick Ross verse on the track! He then proceeds to put all of his guests on tracks that he doesn’t include himself on, an obvious sign that even Wayne knows he cannot hang with Hip Hop’s heavyweights.

Born This Way: Lady Gaga

2/5 stars

The reason Lady Gaga was popular to begin with is because she was unique, but now that we’ve been

exposed to it, she almost seems ordinary. “Born This Way” may have sold a ton of albums, but musically the songs are unoriginal and too similar to all her other works. There are a few glimpses of a new direction, through the use of a saxophone, some guitars and pianos, but it’s mostly just more of the same styled dance tracks with sexual lyrics and electronic pop beats.

Issue 7, December 2011


The Yeti

California Dream(in’)

by Sami Fuchs, Staff Writer

The media is often inundated with

California high school (or an equivalent). If the

to the California Dream Act, these students

debates about anti-immigration legislation,

student is undocumented, they are required

would be ineligible for financial aid of any kind.

but amidst the incendiary debates one bill in

to sign an affidavit saying that they have

Without being able to legally work or receive

particular has managed to be more sympathetic

applied for legal immigration status, or if they

financial aid, students were finding it difficult to

to the plight of immigrants. On October 8, 2011,

are ineligible, that they plan to do so as they

afford attending college.

California Governor Jerry Brown signed AB

become eligible.

130, more commonly known as the California

This legislation is important because

promises intellectual excitement and creative

Dream Act, in to law.

it prevents children of illegal immigrants from

thinking,” said Governor Brown in an interview

“Going to college is a dream that

By 2013, the California Dream Act will

being trapped in a difficult situation. Often,

with the LA Times. “The Dream Act benefits us

allow students that do not have legal status as

children are brought illegally into the country

all by giving top students a chance to improve

American citizens to receive financial aid for

when they are young. Some even manage to

their lives and the lives of all of us.”

California’s public colleges and universities.

go through life unaware that they are illegal



citizens, because primary and secondary

Florida Representative Dwight Bullard, a

Governors Fee Waiver (allowing enrollment

schools are generally not required to ensure

Democrat, proposed HB 55, a bill that mirrored

fees to be waived for those who qualify), as

that all of their students are legal American

the California Dream Act. HB 55 proposed that

well as eligibility for institutional student aid in

citizens. When it comes time for college,

undocumented students be exempt from paying

the form of grants. Stipulations for receiving aid

however, these students face a major problem.

non-resident tuition at state universities or

include attendance at a California high school

Colleges do, in fact, require documentation of

colleges. However, this bill was not successful

for at least three years and graduation from a

legal citizenship upon enrollment. Previous

in its quest to become law.







Having similar immigration concerns,


“Immigration and immigration related

understands opposition to the bill.

been re-filed this year as HB 81. Additionally,

issues are sometimes considered a divisive

“The traction in Florida is going to be

Representative Reggie Fullwood has filed

topic, especially in a state like Florida, where

hard to maintain because we have so much

HB 441, which, as Bullard explains, “targets

we have a significant immigrant and migrant

cost to people being here undocumented. The

students that are citizens whose parents are

population,” said Representative Bullard. “So I

general sentiment is how do we protect the rule

not.” This bill would allow these students to

think a bill like the Dream Act gets caught up in

of law and have everybody playing by the same

be classified as residents for tuition purposes.

the back and forth argument over how do we

rules? That’s most legislators’ concern at this

The bill lists “high school attendance, timely

go about tackling the issue of immigration in the

level over how do we make exception[s] for a lot

enrollment in institution of higher education,

state of Florida.”

of people that are already here,” said Baxley, a

and submission of high school transcript” as

Opposition for this type of legislation is

Republican. “We have to have everybody living

the requirements for eligibility.

mostly rooted in the belief that only American

by the same rules. Otherwise we’re destroying

citizens should be entitled to financial aid.

the equity of our judicial system. Under Ronald

are slowly beginning to realize that these

“Too many American citizens aren’t

Reagan we had a clean up and had major

individuals are paying taxes back in society,”

getting the financial aid as it is,” said Florida

amnesty. We encouraged people to get here,

said Bullard. “They’re students who have

State University senior, Kristin Powell. “Why are

however they can, and they’ll get amnesty. But

matriculated from schools. They’ve been

we going to give illegal immigrants the money

we really need to protect the rule of law [so] that

there for five to 13 years, all the way from

when there are so many American citizens

the same rules apply to everyone. That’s the

kindergarten through 12th grade, and it’s just

who need it? I think that they should make it a

frustration right now. We’re all equal but some

the right thing to do. It’s appropriate to capture

loan program instead. Give them the money to

are more equal than others.”

the love of knowledge that these students

become model Americans, so that when they

Despite HB 55’s lack of success,

have developed over their time here. We need

get jobs and become model citizens, they can

Representative Bullard is hopeful that the

to understand the importance of intellectual

pay back the money.”

California Dream Act will inspire the passing of

capital and how important intellectual capital is

similar legislation in Florida. Bullard’s bill has

in helping us define who our country is going to

Florida Representative Dennis Baxley

“We’re seeing a trend where people

be for generations.”





Democrat, also sees the need for legislation like HB 55 and the California Dream Act to pass in Florida.

“We have so many students who want

to come to Florida, not only because of our great weather and our great business climate, but they want to come because we have exceptional programs,” said Williams. “This is a very good way to incentivize those students, especially international students, to come here and take part in our educational system.”






advocacy groups, voters, and legislators in California, “who took the stand and said ‘look, our education system here in California is one of the best, and we want everyone to be able to take a part in that.’ …I’m hopeful that we can enact that here in Florida.”

Issue 7, December 2011



Remember, Remember the Fifth of November

The Yeti

by Stephanie Sharp, Staff Writer

November 5th, 2011 bore witness to a

was a call to become a member of a local credit

September 29, 2011.

different protest than the Gunpowder Treason

union, transfer funds to the new account, and

Plot of 1605. While the grassroots movement

shut down accounts with major banking corpo-

coming in, looking for a safer place for their

of Bank Transfer Day and subversive schemes

rations. Listed on the event page were sites to

money where they wouldn’t be charged a lot of

put into motion by internet vigilantes may not

find local credit unions, and further research

fees,” said Christanie, an employee at the FSU

have had the grandeur and fireworks of the final

was encouraged.

Credit Union in Tallahassee.

scenes from the popular film V for Vendetta, the

impact was equally impressive.

day for Bank Transfer Day, especially for the

America proposed a monthly $5 fee to use debit

In 2008, the Senate passed a $700

youth of America. There [was] rarely a status

cards, which they have since rescinded. Other

billion bank bailout bill. Banks and capitalistic

that day that [didn’t] start with ‘Remember,

major banks instituted similar fees, only to make

corporations all over the county are heralded by

remember…’” said Bray. “I think that the youth

a similar retreat in response to the backlash.

“I think [Guy Fawkes Day] was a perfect

“We had a good amount of people

On September 29, 2011 Bank of

the media as too big to fail and as a

Only a few banks will continue

necessary evil in the consumerist

charging the fees to make up for the

state of the US. Kristine Christian,

revenue they are losing because of

an entrepreneur from Los Angeles,

the Durbin Amendment, which limits

sought to alter that paradigm this

the amount they can charge major

year by starting an event called Bank

companies like Target for processing

Transfer Day.


“[Corporate banks] want your

Leading up to November 5th,

money, whether you have it or not.

hacker group Anonymous posted

They want you to owe them every

several YouTube videos addressing

penny you make in your future. You

the event and encouraging par-

don’t matter – you’re just another

ticipation. The group has a huge web

bank account number and credit card number.

are empowered with a sense of revolution

presence and ends all of their transmissions

That’s why I prefer credit unions,” said Shannon

that is fed by the Occupy movement. This

with this reminder: We are Anonymous. We do

Bray, an English Major at FSU. “I have some

November 5th could be one to remember as

not forget. We do not forgive. Expect us.

student loans and a car loan through a credit

the day Americans began to truly fight back

union in Pompano, [Florida], and it’s wonderful.

against the banks.”

are vigilantes in a way, real Robin Hood type

I’m treated like an actual person, they work with

A November 8th tweet from Credit

people,” said Chad Knight, a Tallahassee

you to find something that fits your life and your

Union National Association reported that

Community College student. “They try to help

budget, and they don’t hound you or threaten

40,000 people became credit union members

people in any way they can, and I commend


on Bank Transfer Day, adding $80 million

them for that.”

Bank Transfer Day started as an event

in savings to the net worth of credit unions.

on Facebook to which Christian invited about

According to surveys conducted by Credit

500 of her friends, but the event quickly grew

Union National Association, over 650,000

to over 85,000 attendees. Bank Transfer Day

people have switched to credit unions since


“I feel like [Anonymous members]


by Erica Zweig, Contributing Writer An up-and-coming




disrupted a Florida State University Board of Trustees meeting on November 1st in order to ask for students’ protection in the fight against education cuts.





developed in the spring of 2011, is comprised of students of various ideologies and affiliations seeking to rise up against misrepresentation of students and their individual rights on campus. This organization has grown into a flourishing union of zealous students willing to march across campus, chant, protest with signs, and gather over 1,000 petition signatures for their beliefs.

“All we ask for are passionate people

who want to make sure students’ voices are heard over all else here at Florida State University,” said Kelsie Taggart, the outreach coordinator for FSU Progress Coalition. “The goal for Progress Coalition is to be an advocate for students’ rights…I believe by taking the front on issues students care about we’ll spread our name and our movement.”

In a manifesto published by the

movement on FSUProgressCoalition.Tumblr.


com, the group declares, “The recent attacks

student body.

on students rights on behalf of the Florida

State Legislature, Gov. Rick Scott, and FSU

in various movements that fight for their rights,”

hierarchy have left students at FSU seriously

said Sampson. “We want to create a system


where we can support and create a structure

This issue has become an enormous

for organizations of student leaders or individu-

undertaking for Progress Coalition. The group

als as they are dealing with issues on campus.”

organized a rally and managed to collect 1,400

One of the big questions this progressive

signatures from students pledging disgust over

movement faces is whether or not they could

tuition spikes. In a statement released on the

potentially rise as a future political party and

FSU Campus Blackboard, President Barron

competitor in Student Government elections at

defends the 15% increase and discourages


opposition by explaining, “It is time to realize

that tuition increases at Florida State University

student representation on campus; especially

aren’t impacting accessibility or burdening our

by our elected officials, so the possibility of

families; they are all that we have to maintain

Progress Coalition becoming a political party is

our quality and keep our bright students in

something we might explore in the future,” said

Florida in the face of State budget cuts.”


However, due to the efforts of the

“We are striving to get students involved

“We are definitely concerned with





members and individuals who came out to

Progress Coalition’s goal is to focus on

support the rally, Progress Coalition‘s demands

activism and encouraging students to become

were for the most part met and produced

aware of their surroundings while aiming to

positive feedback. President Barron not only

gather a large base of supporters to capture the

agreed to meet with the group but also created

attention of the community and student body.

a public forum for all students to attend.

“I am all for fighting for student rights, if it is

Progress Coalition also sent their referendum

being done in a reasonable fashion,” said Josh

to the Supreme Court

Large, an English major at FSU.

and Elections Super-

visor of FSU, which

battle with the hierarchy of Florida State

was then recognized

University and Florida state legislators, their

and placed on the

central focus is also to unite the student body

Student Government

by gaining members who are active in their

ballot for the 2011

community and passionate about what is

voting election.

happening on and around campus.

Coalition Vice



As Progress Coalition continues their

“We want people who want to represent

students rights, fight for themselves, and for

Sampson envisions a

their school,” said Sampson.

promising future for

the group and hopes

check them out on Facebook under the name

to establish a proper

FSU Progress Coalition or e-mail FSU.Pro-




To learn more about Progress Coalition,

Issue 7, December 2011




Political and Social Commentator

by Claire Trehan, Staff Writer

Scholar Cornel West was arrested at

in the United States, which included directing

West is taking the lead on, and taking a lot of

an Occupy Washington D.C. demonstration on

more attention towards the predicaments that

heat for, is saying that we don’t have a critical

October 16th and again during the Occupy Wall

plague those in the black community.

discourse to hold the President accountable.

Street protests in New York on October 21st for

It’s not arguing that he shouldn’t be re-elected,

protesting the “Stop and Frisk” policies of the

criticism of what he believes is the President’s

but it’s about accountability.”

New York Police Department.

lack of attention towards these critical affairs.




A few months ago on an MSNBC


West affirms that it is Barack Obama’s

special entitled The Black Agenda hosted by

Princeton University professor and civil rights

responsibility, as the nation’s first African-

Ed Schultz, Cornel West got into a fiery debate

activist, who has penned books such as Race

American President to write the script for the

with Reverend Al Sharpton. On the program,

Matters and Democracy Matters, ignited many

issues that have been dismissed or that have

West vocalized his desire for the President


gone unacknowledged by presidents in the

to take a stand on these pressing issues so

Barack Obama when he famously spoke out


that real conversations about such matters

against the president.

Dr. David Ikard, Professor of African-

can start. He wants President Obama to be

“He’s ended up being the black mascot

American Literature as well as Hip Hop and

challenged by those in the black community

of the Wall Street oligarchs and corporate

Literature at Florida State University, wrote a

so that these changes can be brought to life.

plutocrats!” said West, who has also claimed

book called Nation of Cowards: Black Activism

He has also made clear his belief that the

that Obama “has a certain fear of free black

in Barack Obama’s Postracial America set

President has enough power to make sure that


to be released next year. Part of Dr. Ikard’s

these discussions happen, but that he has not



West has since been open about his




publication examines Cornel West’s activism

made any landmark decisions in order to put a

up trouble for West within the media realm.

Statements such as these have stirred

and his outspoken critiques of the President.

stop to the growing number of those in poverty

within the African-American community.

West supported Obama during the 2008

“I use Cornel West as one of the

Presidential election and proved to be one of

current voices of resistance and [to display]

Sharpton, on the other hand, argued

his most influential campaigners. He, like many

the particular discourse in the black community

that President Obama has been doing his

others, voted for Obama on the notion that the

that is agitating Barack Obama’s re-election,”

part while the members of Congress have

President would fulfill his promises for change

said Dr. Ikard. “One of the things that Cornel

been slacking in terms of standing up and providing a voice for those in need within their communities. He asserted that the President has to be held accountable, but noted that too many people are putting all the pressure on the President, rather than taking a stand themselves. The public dispute ended with the two raising their voices at one another until Ed Schultz was forced to go off the air since they had run out of time.







denunciation of Obama could be one of the factors preventing the President from being re-



elected in 2012.

into this debate.

a gathering of social activists that united in

“He’s considered [to be] a black leader

order to protest the unsatisfactory social and

is typically by a Republican. So, people can

“When President Obama is criticized, it

in modern American politics,” said Adam

economic standards of the African-American

easily dismiss that criticism because we would

LaRose, a senior majoring in Political Science


expect a Republican to criticize the President,”

at Florida State University. “They expect him

said Dr. John Barry Ryan, Assistant Professor

to back [Obama] because he’s black and

forever. He’s championed the poor. You can go

in the Department of Political Science at Florida

a prominent figure in the black era and the

back 20 or 30 years and he is still saying the

State University.

progressive movement.”

same thing,” said Dr. Ikard. “A lot of the people

is coming from someone who people would

West has been involved with African-

who are attacking him are not willing to get

otherwise believe is a supporter. This makes it

American civil rights and issues, marching in

arrested so he’s really putting his politics into

harder to dismiss and could affect the opinions

demonstrations and organizing protests, since

action. I think for me that gives him real capital

of Democrats and especially Democrats in the

his high school years.

in terms of somebody who is willing to put it on

African-American community.”

protest, as evidenced by his active participation

the line.”


“In this case, the criticism

“This has been Cornel West’s message




West continues to


in the Occupy movement. He has provided a

criticisms of the President, they disagree with

strong voice for African-Americans as both a

speaker in the Golden Tribe Series in Florida

Cornel West is to be featured as a

the way in which he has gone about criticizing

scholar and a political commentator as a part

State University’s Ruby Diamond concert hall

with his name-calling and what some believe

of the post-1960s civil rights movement. West

on January 18, 2012.

are personal attacks on President Obama. A

also participated in the Million Man March

lot of Presispeculators believe that race factors

held in Washington D.C. in 1995, which was

Issue 7, December 2011


The Yeti




Z about

Toddlers & Tiaras by Erin McIvor, Staff Writer I have a sneaking suspicion about

copy their actions. They choose what gets cut in

with plenty of pageant girls and their parents,

TLC’s infamous show Toddlers & Tiaras. The

editing, and what stays – the shot of the mother

but the makers of the show seek out the mother

program showcases a handful of parents

laughing as she realizes she keeps the kids’

who tells her six-year-old that she isn’t as

and their pageant-performing children as

tooth bleach next to her copy of The 7 Worst

pretty as her sister because she has a bigger

they prepare with fake tans, eyelash dye,

Things Parents Do or the hushed voice of the

nose. They feature the parents who call their

prosthetic teeth, and waxing in the weeks up

mother urging her daughter, “Please don’t cry,

daughter a “pain in the ass” to her face as she

until they are ushered onto the stage. They

baby; you’re on camera.” And of course, there’s

bounces off the hotel room walls. They yearn

are told to remember their dance routine and,

the girl about to go on stage. She is turning to

for the mom who reassures us that she asked

always, smile. The show has received plenty

her mother, who is fussing over her hair, and

her daughter if she wanted to keep competing

of back-lash and its fair share of headlines

telling her, “You are one of the crazy moms!” In

and that she said yes. (As though giving a four-

reading “Have We Gone Too Far?” plastered

all of these moments, our hearts start to go out

year-old her way and being a good parent is

over the face of an overdone, wig-wearing six-

to the poor mothers, only to realize once again

the same thing).


that they are not going to change; they are still

just pursuing their own selfish needs.

women who keep things lighthearted and do

what the makers of the show seem to have

The editors are choosing what we get

pageants to get money for their daughters’

gotten past their audiences.

to see, shaping our opinions while branding

schooling, and the girls who learn valuable

They’re being sarcastic.

the show as “reality” TV – but only the reality

lessons about winning and losing. They do not

They film moms as they say flat-out that

they allow us to perceive. Purposefully, editors

make it into the show. We are left only with over-

one of their girls is prettier than the other, along

choose every shot that they put in. They only

the-top, caricaturized, screaming mothers and

with dads twirling ribbons in their backyards,

have a mere hour to showcase these families’

spoiled, tanned orange, screaming daughters

frantically trying to make their two-year-old

lives, after all. There may be nothing wrong

on our television screen. They want us to laugh


But I’m on to them. I have figured out

Yet there is a different fate for the

at them.

It is possible that they realize that more

people will watch a train wreck than a carefree family, or that maybe there is an overwhelming majority of micromanaging mothers in these pageants. But perhaps it doesn’t matter. To the creators of the show, ratings are the same whether viewers tune in to laugh with the families, or at them.

But as these overzealous parents are

paraded in front of the cameras just as their daughters are paraded across the stage, the women’s and girls’ performances are drawing focus from even more worrying aspects of the show. While viewers are upset about the parents putting their children through these ridiculously appearance-centric and over-sexualized contests, the fact of the matter is that this is not an alien concept for young girls at all. The idea of putting in hours and hours of work to appear “natural” and “beautiful” is far from foreign to almost any girl who has hit puberty.

Any young woman who wears makeup

(and who does so without looking like she just flew in from the Jersey Shore) will tell you that the key to “looking natural” lies in what you are putting on. The desired look is not eyegrabbing and dramatic. It does not involve pea-

as wrongful: an act to be condemned. When

grace, but then turn around and be sex kittens

cocking yourself with the creams and powders

something appears in society that conflicts with

in the next instant. It doesn’t take much thought

you splash onto your face. Instead, you must

this definition, it is only right for parents and

to realize that this is a catch-22. If a woman

work everything in subtly, in a way that keeps

adults everywhere to rally against it.

is a true innocent, she cannot even know what

anyone from noticing that your eyelids are not

There seems to be a new example of

sex is. If she goes too far in the other direction

naturally purple.

these age violations every few years. Child-

“innocent” is completely out the window, and

Every so often there is a public uproar

sized thongs, sparkly pink kids’ “exercise”

“sexy” might even turn into “slutty.” No woman

about how the age where girls start dressing

poles, and the forever-in-the-limelight Barbie

could ever find a common ground between

provocatively and putting on makeup seems to

create one controversy after another, but the

these two polar opposites, it seems.

be getting lower. But it is shrugged off and all

damage is done. These products are sold to

but forgotten until the next time we, the public,

young girls, showing them what they should

achieving what is impossible for older girls

are supposed to get upset about it.

consider to be normal behavior and normal

and women. They are able to maintain their

The age at which we lose our

play. Even if such products are taken out of

innocence even while being dressed up in

innocence is what defines our childhood. The

stores by outraged parents that have taken to

daisy dukes and a tube top because they have

social construct of hildhood is ambiguous,

the streets, they have still gotten out there in

no context for it and are simply doing what

unlike adolescence and the teenage years

the world. The products shout, “This is how you

they are told to do. The older women instruct-

which have clear start and end dates. We can

should act!” to any girl who sees them sitting on

ing, dressing, and corralling them through the

still, however, identify behaviors as belonging

a shelf.

pageants are in charge of all the “sexy,” while

to the time of “innocence.” But then each group

Toddlers & Tiaras is an extension of the

the girls’ toddler form allows them to epitomize

grows older and the age limit continues to get

conflicting images that women are given: be

innocence. Perversely, they are doing exactly

pushed back. Still, there is something about an

innocent, but look sexy. Women are supposed

what women are told men want them to do.

individual acting more adult than our peers did

to give off that air of naïveté and effortless

But the toddlers of the show are

Issue 7, December 2011



The Yeti

An Argument for Education We n e e d to d efe n d i t m o re t h a n yo u t hink . by Emily Hernandez, Contributing Writer

It seems as though many institutions

and universities have forgotten the real purpose of pursuing higher education. College is not a place where you come to earn money and make a living. Many will work their way through college and dedicate much time and energy to earning their own form of higher education, but the facility of these well-established schools don’t, or rather shouldn’t, represent just a small stepping stone to the rest of our working lives.

Many have already discovered, and

many have already been advised for years prior to even attending college, how a college education can offer so much in terms of implicit value, beyond the raw material of study. And the opportunity to be in a hub of centrally concentrated and vastly spreading knowledge can be that large and inconsequential dose of enlightenment that some of us crave. We crave this infinite learning as a primal instinct; a human fundamental for function and survival. This desire to branch out and explore the things we do not know, make progress, and expand any minute understanding we may have of the world is in our nature. It’s why we live and breathe and walk this earth.

And yes, on a less uplifting level and in

the reality of the contemporary world, we take this knowledge and these years of focused pursuit and turn them into a job or career, a way to support ourselves and the working society in which we exist. But here is where the problem arises: the institutions we trust


with our education have lost sight of this real

those incoming freshmen, do you think, want

purpose of pursuing higher education. Why is it

to be doctors because they have a passion for

that we are now expected to have a clear path

knowledge, for the science of life, and deeply

and solid career goals at the ripe ages at which

enjoy the idea of helping others through their

we enter a university? It is no longer enough

work as physicians? They may not even

to pursue higher education for the sake of

know what it’s like to possess a steadfast

learning infinitely new and unrelated topics and

internal passion beyond what is considered

subjects. It is no longer about self-improvement

a “successful” career path. One may assume

or personal enlightenment, because we pay

that it really doesn’t matter to any of them

a fortune for it. So of course, after pouring

what kind of doctor they end up being or what

thousands of dollars into these years of

hospital they end up working in. Most of them

wonderful and all-encompassing knowledge,

aren’t even thinking about that. In many cases,

we have to go get a job to pay it all back and

a student will make it all the way through their

make it all “worth it.”

undergraduate courses simply because they

A large portion of the freshman

are exceptionally smart, because they possess

population at almost any large university will

a certain aptitude, rather than because they

enter with majors in biology, already intent

love and enjoy every ounce of foundational

on gaining admission to medical school and

knowledge they are being prepared with. Not

becoming practicing doctors. How many of

many of those kids get excited about being

heart surgeons as they sit in their Organic

anything and everything about the vast world

be cut. He believes that the only money

Chemistry class discovering the rules for

we live in and to continue endlessly to learn

being put into education should be going

organic molecular structure. Most will moan

for the sake of learning. Nobody seems to

towards technology, science, mathematics

and groan their ways through physics and

remember that alternative, an alternative

and engineering because those are fields that

chemistry courses because all they want to do

that erases the pressures of success and

will provide people with jobs. To our governor,

is get into medical school and into a hospital

performance and makes it possible to fall back


and get on with the salary-earning. They have

to the beauty of learning simply to know. But

become purely a vessel for obtaining a place

lost any practical chance at simple intrinsic

we pay universities big money because we

in this work force and it is useless to be a


know nothing else but to take these steps at

scholar of the liberal arts, or of psychology or

If college were free, would anyone

acquiring, earning “higher-level” education

anthropology. Why is the facilitation for higher

attend if they weren’t guaranteed a chance at

so that we can graduate in so many years

education becoming selective only to fields

earning a degree and a job? Probably not.

and emerge prepared for a career of choice,

that will stimulate the economy? Where will

This is because we are all encouraged





a career that we should be content with until

psychology and anthropology go?

from a young age to look at the working world

retiring age.

around us and devise a plan of action for

Consider a current portion of Florida

little opposite of all this and we all paid for and

becoming a contributing unit in that working

Governor Rick Scott’s new agenda. He argues

attended college because we wanted to keep

world. But what no one has ever given us a

that degrees in fields such as psychology and

learning and growing intellectually, and a job

chance to think about is how, as humans,

anthropology have no productive effect on

later on based on our new expertise was just

maybe the purpose of education is to discover

the work force and that their funding should

a small perk of our choice of education? We

What if the modern world worked just a

think of careers now as mediums essential for survival, or for comfortable survival. But we are at a stage as a society that, for most, simply to survive is no longer an inherent struggle, yet we obsess over the ability to live in comfort and excess through our high-paying jobs. But our jobs don’t define our lives and who we are. If the workings of the world were void of trivial, false purposes, all we would have is our ability to infinitely learn and explore. Even with the input of our world’s factors of daily and holistic life, this paramount purpose remains untarnished. It provides a significant source of true meaning to be harnessed and kept as a reminder and an insurer that we are more and we have more than our college degrees and comfortably paying jobs.

Issue 7, December 2011


The Yeti

If You Don’t Have an iPhone...

non-customer, I am determined to remain

already been done) by other companies. For

Through your television, computer, or cell

“uncool” and Apple-free.

example, iTunes is heavily based off of the

phone you hear the latest trendy underground

Until Apple finally got their hands on the

software used for the Creative MP3 players,

indie music play to a montage of perfect

aforementioned formula, their products weren’t

which is probably the biggest competitor

strangers and exciting images. This is the

considered top of the line by any technology

Apple has in the MP3 player market. Although

formula that Apple uses for almost every

connoisseurs. In 1985, Apple was in a really

it flopped recently due to everyone already

commercial they have ever released.


big slump, only making 10 percent of their

having an iPod, the Zune software allowed

is a successful formula to follow because it

projected profit. But with the combination of

users to sync their Zune MP3 players with their

gets people hooked in with a snazzy song

this trendy pseudo-creative marketing scheme

computer and purchase things from the Zune

providing the perfect little jingle to appeal to a

and easy-to-manipulate culture, Apple found

market far before the iPod could do either

wide variety of people. The jam coincides with

its target audience and honed in. Not only did

of those things. Before the Kindle achieved

different trendy models awkwardly grooving

this underground culture worship Macs, but

success, Apple never once used any of their

in front of a white background that keeps the

those who were wealthy started buying them

products as e-book readers, yet they continue

viewer focused on the centerpiece product.

as well, solely based on their sleek and simple

to claim messages of innovation and originality.

The one thing that I haven’t mentioned yet is

design, causing Apple to creep under the radar

the key component of every Apple commercial:

into pockets, purses, and dorm rooms across

but at least I have a voice. Apple’s marketing

the hidden seed of narcissism planted coyly


strategy continues to make me furious. Every

into every commercial, sprouting a flower of

time I see one of their commercials, I just want

elitist ideologies fabricated and fueled by the



to scream at all of its glorious redundancy and

company and its faithful followers.

underground culture would shift to another

hypocrisy. As a consumer of technology and a

After all, if you don’t own an Apple

company, but that hasn’t happened- yet. The

human being, I don’t like to be told what makes

product, you cannot possibly be part of

“underground culture” still falls victim, biting on

me cool and what doesn’t.



Apple’s every indie-dressed move. Because

trendsetter crowd who parade around town.

of this, Apple commercials continue to play off

Apple reminds us of this in every commercial

the expectations of this specific fan base and in

with their braggadocio narrator, “If you don’t

their commercials make themselves out to be

have an iPhone, well, you don’t have an

the newest trend.

iPhone.” No iPod or Macbook Pro? Get with

the times, man! Apple very deliberately uses a

goes around pretending to be this 100 percent

notion of “us” Vs. “them,” and despite Apple's

original company full of innovators, while almost

attempts to alienate me for choosing to be a

everything they’re doing is being done (or has


A white background suddenly appears.

With the spread of Apple technology, would




What bothers me most is that Apple

I may sound like a bickering asshole,

by Nick Lar a, Contr ibuting Wr i ter ;)



and the

Gender Divide

by Sammi Fuchs, Staff Writer

I’m fairly accustomed to hearing my

beauty, “Women must want to embody [beauty]

Journal, the cosmetics industry sees an aging

male roommate exclaim strange desires, but

and men must want to possess women who

woman and thinks of “advancing income, a

his most striking desire was revealed when he

embody it.” Wolf says further that historically,

place in society to maintain, and, as an industry

stared deeply into my eyes and said pensively,

the so-called evidence for this ideology has

spokesman was at pains to point out to us, the

“I wish men could wear make-up, too.” I laughed

been that beautiful women were purported

need for ‘more than a paint job.’” In this way,

with discomfort, thinking he was making

to be more fertile, therefore they were better

the cosmetics industry is able to market more

some kind of quirky joke that I didn’t quite

reproductive partners, causing men to vie for

intensive beauty products at a higher price to

understand, and asked him, “Really?” To my

them in the interests of producing the best

capture the market of those who are losing their

surprise, he furrowed his brow and said, “Yeah.

possible offspring.

beauty through aging.

I’m serious.” When I asked why, he told me

“Charles Darwin was himself unconvinced by

that he didn’t think it was fair that only women

his own explanation that ‘beauty’ resulted from

is, as Wolf explains it, a function of patriarchy’s

have the option to cover up blemishes or other

a ‘sexual selection’ that deviated from the rule

quest to maintain power as women compete

facial imperfections. Still, his desire to be able

of natural selection.” In essence, not even

with each other for resources appropriated

to wear make-up seemed confusing to me, due

Charles Darwin was of the opinion that beauty

to men. Either way, it’s disturbing to imagine

largely to societal gender constructions.

contributed greatly to genetic superiority.

that women are encouraged to enhance their

The overarching ideology regarding

However, Wolf counters,

Or perhaps the obsession with beauty

Interestingly, the ideology dictating

physical attractiveness on a regular basis,

gender and cosmetics is that women are

that women must be beautiful is mostly a

while men are allowed to just rest comfortably

expected, and to some extent required, to

Western construction. The Wodaabe tribe in

with their God-given looks.

combat their facial flaws with beauty products,

Nigeria, for example, exhibits

whereas men are expected to not care about

a truly foreign social structure.

their imperfections. This difference between

Women are in charge of the

expectations for males and females concerning

economy, whereas men are the

cosmetics reveals a larger problem: society

ones who feel pressure to be

believes that women’s physical attractiveness

beautiful. Wodaabe men wear


elaborate make-up and dance






attractiveness is irrelevant. As a woman, if I


woke up the morning of a job interview with a

women-judged beauty contests.

colossal blemish laying claim to my forehead,

I would immediately feel that not concealing

gender construction is inherent

it with make-up would make me appear to be

in Western culture so as to

unprofessional and slovenly. What, then, of the

support the $20-billion cosmetics

man who shows up to a job interview with a

industry. Not only do cosmetics

major zit? It seems that he can still appear to be

companies prey on women’s

professional without the application of a good

desire to look beautiful, but

concealer. Though he may feel insecure and

they also take advantage of the

uncomfortable about his unsightly pustule, he is

anxieties associated with losing

expected to bravely face the world, pretending

beauty through aging. According

that there is nothing amiss.



According to The Beauty Myth, a novel












by Naomi Wolf that explores the implications

written by Margherita Karo and

of Western society’s fixation on physical

published in Financial Analysts

Issue 7, December 2011


“Where The Yeti


* F

ck are my


-a reflection on Arrested Development

by Claire Trehan, Staff Writer

The cult phenomenon that is Arrested






Despite the show’s cancellation, DVD


sales continued to flourish. Avid watchers of

disappointingly low ratings five years ago, much

the show would continually re-live series by

to the disappointment of fans, who thought

watching the DVDs of all three seasons. These

hailed the show as the most brilliant comedy

devoted watchers would then, in turn, introduce

to grace Fox’ airwaves in years. Despite the

the show to their friends who had missed out

fact that most television critics praised the

when it aired each week on Fox. This is how

show’s tongue-in-cheek humor and that some

the show eventually reached the cult status it

viewers watched the show every week, the vast

had longed for.

majority of the American audience was simply

not tuning in.

said Doug Stout, a senior at Florida State Uni-

Though the series was delivered on

versity. “I had heard about the show, but never

Fox, a mainstream network, its timeslot was

watched it until its completion. My sister and a

changed a number of times, making it difficult

friend recommended it to me.”

to garner new viewers. In addition to this,

the show required the type of audience that

from any other show on television was its

was willing to fully engage with its dialogue

combination of ironic narration, satire, fore-

because passively watching the show was

shadowing, and superior cast that guided each

not an option. Skating with the Celebrities, the


reality television show that replaced Arrested

Development in its timeslot and gained better

said Ashley Bruce, resident of Tampa, Florida

ratings, isn’t as dialogue or plot-focuses.

who has been watching the show since its

Arrested Development alluded to the humor in

second season aired in 2004 and who also

being replaced by Skating with the Celebrities

owns the series DVDs. “Every time I re-watch

in its series finale, “Development Arrested.”

an episode, which I probably do too frequently,

something physical the character does.

Since the show ended, producers and

“I have been watching since fall 2007,”

What set Arrested Development apart

“The writing and acting are brilliant,”


networks made many unfulfilled claims. Fans

terms of laughs-per-minute, this series is

were told that the series was going to be

hands-down the funniest I’ve seen, including

made into a movie. The first indication of this

Seinfeld and [Curb Your Enthusiasm]. I also

was when Ron Howard, the show’s narrator,

love how it never, ever takes itself seriously. It

announced that Arrested “may be a movie”

is pure comedy.”

as he delivered the show’s final lines. As each

year passed without any new developments,

show was that it indisputably launched the

though, so did expectations.

careers of both Michael Cera and Will Arnett.

One of the significant outcomes of the

Arts & Life

Cera played the character of George Michael

fact that the project requires both film and tele-

Bluth to perfection. The nerdy, awkward

vision studios to cooperatively work together,

one of the best shows on TV, and I can’t wait

teenage boy who had a crush on his cousin

this could be difficult.

to see how the writers incorporate old running

Maeby was adored by all of the show’s viewers.

jokes with new material.”

Since the show ended, the Canadian actor

an agreement, though, and there really is

gained subsequent popularity. Cera has paid

another season and a movie, Hurwitz notes

homage to his character in Arrested by starring

that the fourth season is supposed to consist

in motion pictures such as Superbad, Juno,

of episodes each of which would focus on

and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.


individual characters, to show where they are

actor Will Arnett, who played George Oscar

presently. For example, Hurwitz has discussed

“Gob” Bluth, also attracted a number of fans,

the possibility of Buster Bluth, played by Tony

some would argue this was because of classic

Hale, entering a scene that takes place in a lab

lines such as “The man in the $5,000 suit-come

setting. Buster goes into the lab thinking that

on!” Whatever the reasons, Arnett has since

he will be assisting with an experiment, when,

had starring roles in films such as Let’s Go to

in reality, he finds out that he is the one that

Prison and Blades of Glory.

is being experimented on. The season would

The show’s creator, Mitch Hurwitz,

consist of nine or ten of these episodes and

recently announced that the team will be

serve as a precursor to the film. The movie

creating a fourth season and finally making the

then, in turn, would tie all of the loose ends of

movie that was first discussed five years ago. It

the series together and would feature all of the

of next year. From a creative standpoint, all of

characters reunited.

the cast members and creators are on board,

as they have been since the show’s cancel-

the show squealed with delight.

lation. The only possible roadblock that could

prevent this good news from taking flight, then,

Meredith Wilson, a senior at Florida State Uni-

is the business side of the spectrum. Due to the

versity, who enjoys the show’s subtle humor.

If everyone can collectively reach

“I think Arrested Development was

Upon hearing this news, admirers of “I couldn’t be more excited!” said

Issue 7, December 2011


specialist in cultural anthropology. “The end of a

The Yeti







in g





a m A

n o z

: E

d n a

su i V


g n i iz







around the planet.

Google hopes that it

will re-awaken a concern

for the preservation of the

rainforest by giving viewers a chance

to see what it is like to live and work in

Amazonian communities.

“The rainforest is not an easy place to

travel to,” said George Blakely, a Florida State University Professor in the Department of Art. “It’s not a big tourist destination, and most people probably have little idea about what exists there. So, a distribution of photography would make them more aware of what is there and the changes that are happening there, particularly if [the photographs] were distributed

by Catalina Chiang, News Editor

not only in consumer media, but through social media.”

In August of 2011, Google announced

On October 18, 2009, Almir Surui,

that it would begin mapping the world’s largest

leader of an endangered Amazon group,

tropical rainforest: the Amazon.

announced a partnership with Google Inc. in an

By utilizing the same technology that

effort to rescue the rainforest and the culture

has helped to showcase Google Earth, the

of his people. Surui’s 1300-member group

Google team will be documenting the hamlet

first came into contact with outsiders during

of Tumbira, a sustainable living community

the construction of the BR-364 highway on

consisting of 100 people. Street-view cameras

their traditional lands in the late 1960s. Surui

mounted on tricycles and boats have captured

describes that the ensuing decades brought

on-the-ground photographs that will be stitched

disease, poverty and clashes with plunderers.

together to form a continuous 360-degree

The year after, Surui attended the 20th annual

spherical panorama. Google has enlisted

Bioneers Conference in San Rafael. The annual

natives to help retrieve images of life in the

conference features a forum of indigenous



The project was initiated by the

entrepreneurs and foundations to discuss

Amazonas Sustainable Foundation (FAS),

innovative solutions to global problems. Surui’s

which invited Google to document Tumbira. FAS

project, entitled “Trading Bows and Arrows for

works with 7,500 families in 15 reserves. The

Laptops” showcased Google Initiative photos

group is committed to promoting sustainable

in an effort to expose illegal mining and logging


in the group’s 600,000 acre reserve.





and the improvement of the quality of life of

“The desire for profit is going to have

Amazonas state communities.

negative effects on the health of the entire

This new endeavor will be the first of

planet,” said Dr. Michael Uzendoski, Professor

a series of projects detailing panoramas of

in the Department of Modern Languages and Linguistics at Florida State University and a


lot of cultures has been caused by deforestation. When you destroy the environment you destroy the basis of productivity and the drive for fossil fuels is winning out.”

Surui and his people have also turned

to tools like Google Earth, Google Maps, Blogger, and YouTube to survey their lands and document their culture. This type of ethnographic mapping has been used to chart over 40 million acres of rain forest.

Dr. Uzendoski notes that this strategy

is not a new phenomenon. The cultures that we deem as indigenous are, and always have been, very much in touch with the “modern” world to some extent or another. Surui and his group realize that the stakes are high. “The concept of nature doesn’t exist for these cultures. ‘Nature’ is an extension of their social world,” said Dr. Uzendoski.

This isn’t the first time Google has

employed its technology by partnering with organizations to raise awareness about varying global and social issues. In 2007, the US Holocaust Museum launched Crisis in Darfur, a Google Earth Initiative with the US Department of State. The project released hundreds of before and after satellite images of villages throughout Darfur. The data shows more than 3,300 villages that have been damaged or destroyed as a result of genocide from 20032005.

Paul Rutkovsky, a Professor of Art

at Florida State University, is concerned about the potential for the cause to become overshadowed by the use of a new technology. “One thing that disturbs me as an artist is often that photographs become so visually seductive, beautiful and gorgeous and lush, that it undermines what really is happening,” said Rutkovsky.

Brazil is currently negotiating the use

of satellite imagery from India to improve the monitoring of deforestation in the Amazon rainforest.

Issue 7, December 2011


The Yeti

Hide and Seek

Excerpt of

by Melisse Sporn

Margaret told me to stay in the closet

care. Margaret always hates them, says they

he’d beat me with one of his belts. They’re in

but I’m hungry and I have to take a wee. She

make me look stupid, puckering my mouth and

the corner of the closet. I should steal them.

said we are playing hide and go seek but

stuff but Margaret is stupid, so I don’t care.

I’ll just wear them all and he won’t know what

there’s only two of us and she already knows

Dad will be angry that I’m stomping

to do. He’ll probably beat me with the lamp by

where I am. I’m not stupid. Dad’s tweed jacket’s

all over his shoes. I’ll blame it on Margaret. I

Mum and Dad’s bed table near Mum’s jewelry

cuffs are scratching at my ears and I really hate

should just walk out of here and go downstairs.

box with the gold embroidering. She won’t let

that. Every time I swat them away they come

There’s a man downstairs; I can hear his voice.

me touch it but when she’s out I like to touch

right back. I’m sitting on all sorts of Dad’s

Why’s he yelling? Margaret is going to be in so

the gold spots because they’re so cold and my

leather shoes and it’s really uncomfortable on

much trouble when I tell Mum. She’s going to

fingers are always a million degrees.

my bum. Margaret said to stay put and she

scream and I’ll tell Mum how she left me in the

had that look she gets when she really means

closet the whole time when I had to wee and

corner. The buckles are all very shiny but the

it but I want to stretch my legs a bit and I really

I was hungry. I bet they’re doing nasty things

one I like I can’t find. He’s probably got it hidden

need to wee. She knows I hate hide and seek

down there. I don’t want to go down there and

behind this black box because he doesn’t want

because I always end up having to wee. I wish

catch them doing anything nasty. None of

me to get to it. Maybe it’s in the box. I’ll open

she’d come find me already.

Dad’s pockets have candy. All he’s ever got

the box; it’s one of those plastic, black boxes

I can’t see anything and I’m sick of

are old receipts and wrappers. I wonder what

Dad keeps his power drill in. The ones with the

comparing all the textures of Father’s jackets.

Dad’s been buying. Probably those cigars he

double clasps that you have to press at the

I can hear Margaret crawling around. She

likes. They smell awful. I wish he’d let me try

same time to make it close and I hate those

must be pretending she’s a deep sea fish or

them. If I lean in real close to the bottom of the

because I never get it right. Even opening them

something silly like that. I really hate the way

door, the light comes in and I can see some of

is hard. Maybe I’ll get this one right. Margaret

Dad’s feet smell. It’s like grated cheese, the

it. It says “Cheetah Bar.” Dad spent loads there.

can do them really well. I’ll practice and do it

kind you put on your eggs but I hate eggs.

He must have been having a real good time

better than her. This one’s especially difficult;

And I hate waiting. I bet she invited that bloke

with his friends or something. Mum would be

Dad must keep something secret in it.

Travis over while Mum and Dad are out. I’m

mad he spent so much, she’s always on about

telling Mum when her and Dad get back from

money and the house and the garden.

their night out. I don’t care if she gets in trouble.

It serves her right for thinking I’m a little kid

downstairs. That Travis bloke must have big

and I’ll just do whatever she wants. Mum will

feet or some of those army boots all the punk

be really mad and she’ll take away Margaret’s

idiots wear. Margaret’s into that type of stuff.

car privileges and maybe she’ll give me some

Thinks it’s dreamy. She’s always going on

sweets for being so honest.

about that stuff with her girlfriends when they

I’ll search Dad’s jacket pockets for

come over and eat bonbons. None of Marga-

sweets. He shouldn’t be eating sweets anyway;

ret’s lot are even worth looking at. They all eat

he’s got that big belly that’s always falling over

too many bonbons, except Margaret. She’s

his trousers. I hope when I get older I don’t look


like that. I hope he’s got some of those lemon

drops. They’re sour and they make your eyes

one of his boots. Wonder how long it would

water but I like the taste so much I don’t even

take him to figure it out. I’d laugh so hard. Bet


They sure are stomping around a lot

Dad would be really mad if I peed in

Dad’s belts are in a jumble in the

Work Makes One Free

By: Gordon Bowen

You’ll remember it years later, Tiptoeing out passed cells laden with shrapnel, Arriving unsought for, The juvenile scar now covered in hair Just a memory escaped from the tomb, You can’t see it at first, you can only feel it A scene, gray matter gray scale, Black and white projection

You remember the wind It carries no words now And the spectator birds They don’t cheer or sing. And the rocks, did they cry out? Would anyone have heard if they had? Not the town just outside They closed their eyes to the smoke

Polaroid flip book, 35 frames per second.

And their noses to the smell.

Arbeit Macht Frei

Arbeit Macht Frei

Then it’s Eden, bearing new fruit,

Now, many confess on tender knee,

And ivy fingers raise holy hands, Fenced by trees, cedar, pine and cypress, Thorn bushes, cyclamen flowers in the grass

And others pretend that it never happened. There weren’t ovens that never baked bread Nor showers that never cleaned.

With signs that read, Keep Off.

There’s no liche guard in the tower

Then it’s a slow march, single file,

We never heard cries and prayers of

Empty closets except for shoes and suits And pictures of those who wore them. Where are they? Some ask. They’re in the leaves, in the soil, Mounds made of earth. Arbeit Macht Frei

Or shroud of unseen specters watching. Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me? Yet the resurrection and you’re alone in the garden Tempted to wonder, was this the sixth hour? Did He turn His gaze a second time, has He now?

Issue 7, December 2011


The Yeti


December 2011  

Yeti's December 2011 Issue

December 2011  

Yeti's December 2011 Issue