Issue 015

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INBOX

SING-A-CHALLAH

(Re: The Art of Challah Braiding, Issue 014)

When I started making challah, I had no idea how to braid with six strands, so I called my mother for instructions. She taught me the first method you printed, with a sing-song chant instead of numbers. It goes like this: “Right one over two, second from left over to the right. Left one over two, second from right over to the left. Right one over two...”

Happy baking!

INSPIRED TO BAKE

(Re: Rising Prayers, Issue 014)

Although I have of course heard so much over the years about Sara Yaraslowitz’s challah bakes, I never managed to attend one. I found this article very inspiring. It even got me thinking that I should make challah more often. (My own mother didn’t start making challah regularly until her children were mostly grown; with my own family of small children, I now understand why!)

I especially appreciated that the article addressed the origin of this

Esty I.

INBOX

“new invention” of challah bakes. I had been uncomfortable with them, thinking that there is no mesorah for such a thing, and it was nice to read that it is a peulah with the approval of Rebbetzin Kanievsky, a”h. In fact, when the women in our shul get together to do the mitzvah of hafrashas challah as a group, the rebbetzin attends and participates.

Name Withheld

SPECIAL SHABBOS

(Re: POV, Issue 014)

The ideas for making Shabbos Nachamu special were very nice. But I was also a little confused. (Maybe because growing up, we didn’t mark Shabbos Nachamu in any way.) I would have thought the special things people do would be related to our anticipation of the geulah, the sense of nechamah that we get when we focus on the fact that Hashem will save us from this bitter galus. But instead, most of the suggestions were all about spending time with family. You can do that on any Shabbos in the summer (except Shabbos Chazon). It felt more like summer vacation suggestions than Shabbos Nachamu suggestions. Maybe this is because Shabbos Nachamu is not actually a Yom Tov, so there are no prescribed minhagim for how to “celebrate” it. I would love to know if there is any source for “celebrating” Shabbos Nachamu in any way, or any sourced minhag for this Shabbos.

Thank you,

THE BAKING SODA SOLUTION

(Re: I Wish I Could Give It Back, Inbox, Issue 013)

Name Withheld

you want, you can give me half your kids, and then half the dirt will be gone.

UNBELIEVABLE

(Re: Overloaded Survey Results, Issue 014)

Please tell me there was a misprint in the laundry survey! I refuse to accept that 60% of the population doesn’t bother folding their laundry.

A Scandalized Balabuste

EDITOR’S RESPONSE:

Thank you for writing in! Unfortunately, responses A and D were swapped in print. These are the correct responses.

GE WORKS FOR ME

(Re: Tide and True, Issue 012)

First, I’d like to say that even though I don’t live in an area where The Williamsburg View is distributed, I make sure to get a copy every week. When I can’t, I try to catch up online. Thank you so much for providing so much exciting content every week!

I can very much relate to the reader who complained that her washing machine is doing a very poor job cleaning her laundry. I was just as disappointed when I switched from a top loader with an agitator to a front loader; the clothes were just not coming out clean! A friend advised me to add baking soda to every load to boost performance. Since I started doing that, my clothes are much cleaner and fresher. It’s hard to give a measurement, but I put in a general sprinkling, probably around two tablespoons per load. I do that regardless of what kind of wash cycle I am using. Even the cold loads can handle it.

Good luck,

MY TAKE

(Re: I Wish I Could Give It Back, Inbox, Issue 013)

E.Z.F.

To the hand-wringing inbox writer: I’m very happy with my LG top loader without an agitator and don’t have the problem you have. My clothes come out perfectly clean. If

I very much agree with “Bruchy” about the GE washing machine. I was also told that the LG machine is the top seller, but when doing my own research, I saw that people were much more satisfied with the GE. In the four years since I’ve had it, I’ve had no complaints. I was just curious about two of the features “Bruchy” mentioned. How does the smart dispense system work? And what is the wash and dry option? I would love to figure that out.

M. Schwartz

YOUR SAY

TEFILLAH WORKS

A few weeks ago, I was suffering from headaches so severe that it was impairing my ability to function. This had been going on for a few weeks, until one day I was passing through Monsey and decided to go daven by the Ribnitzer’s kever. I spent a lot of time there, begging Hashem for a refuah By the next day, I was feeling better, and the headaches did not recur.

I’m writing in to be mefarsem the ko’ach hatefillah. Anonymous

HOW DOES YOUR FAMILY TAKE CARE OF SIMCHA GIFTING?

Everyone brings cash to a niece/nephew’s sheva brachos, and we present the envelope to the new couple.

We don’t have a system set up. Someone lays out the funds, and we all pay our share whenever a gift is bought.

We buy a seforim set for bar mitzvahs and a piece of silver whenever there is an engagement. Each family buys a gift on their own for the baal simcha. It is too complicated to organize one gift.

We don’t have an official system. Whoever is up to it at that time will take care of it, and we split the cost between the rest of us.

Gifting is hard in our large family, ka”h. For now, we are using a system in which the last baal simcha is in charge of the next gift (which includes buying it and collecting the money afterward).

I am usually the one taking care of the gifts, and I frequently stay with the bill. Does anyone have any other ideas to make sure everyone pays up on time?

We agreed on buying a collective gift (a piece of silver) for family weddings only. For simchos like new babies, upsherins or bar mitzvahs, we all buy separately.

We take turns buying gifts for simchos in order of age, and the rest of the siblings compensate the gift-buyer. Despite being a family of ten siblings, this system works just fine.

We have a great gift-giving system. We take turns arranging and paying for family simcha gifts, with a preset amount for each kind of occasion. For example, a new baby gift is $40, while a housewarming gift is $80. When a person takes their turn, they buy the gift representing all of us, and they get marked down as having completed a turn. If a $40 gift is bought, they’re marked down as having completed one turn, and if an $80 gift is bought, they’re marked down for doing a double turn.

All of us siblings contribute $100 to a shared account that we use toward gifting, with a designated debit card used for this account. We agreed on how much to spend per gift, which occasions to gift for, and what kind of gifts to purchase, and typed it up for all of us to have. We refill the account as needed and take turns actually purchasing the gift (using the card number). We finally don’t have to go through all this discussion and money collection for each simcha!

— Many more readers shared that the “bank account” gifting system works best.

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We like to have one sibling collect the money and another sibling in charge of arranging the actual gift. We take turns in order of age.

In my family, the money goes toward an actual gift, while in my husband’s family, we give a gift certificate to the store of the baal simcha’s choice.

What a loaded topic! Baruch Hashem, with large families, simcha gifting is an endless challenge. We have one person taking care of it, with the help of an Excel sheet, ensuring that everyone takes turns paying. This way, there’s no money collection needed.

My family gives a gift card to a silver store to all nieces and nephews when they get engaged.

Each of us contributes as much as we want to, and then we see what we can buy with the sum we collected.

Simcha gifting in my family is totally out of hand. I come from a large family, ka”h, and I’m one of the younger ones (my oldest is eight years old). For every grandchild who gets engaged, we buy a tena’im gift (silver piece), and if we’re on the chasan’s side, we send a miniature for the aufruf kiddush as well. Additionally, we host one sheva brachos. For bar mitzvahs, we buy tefillin cookies plus individual gifts. For the first baby of each grandchild, we also send a gift. We’re never asked if we want to chip in; we’re just given a total of how much we owe once a year. I wish we could stop it completely.

Our teacher, Mrs. Hindy Kviat, once shared a smart idea for organizing group gifts. Usually, one individual pays for the gift and then collects money from everyone else. She suggested a better alternative: There should be one person buying the gift while a different person gathers contributions from everyone. This method feels much more comfortable for the one collecting the funds, as it is easier to ask for money on someone else’s behalf than for your own.

We are ten siblings, ka”h. The system that’s finally working for several years is taking turns with who should lay out the money. We have a spreadsheet that’s shared by all where we keep track of what’s going on. This is especially effective since nobody is keeping everyone’s money, and only one person is asked every time to lay out the money instead of being busy with collections every time.

For bar mitzvahs, aufrufs and Shabbos sheva brachos, we contribute toward the party planner. For new couples, we purchase a small silver item. We typically only give baby gifts for the first child. Couples in their first year of marriage are exempt from contributing to or buying gifts.

When it comes to chasunah gifts for nieces/nephews, we are divided into groups of three. That means that for every simcha, the two other members in the baal simcha’s group arrange the gift. For all other gifts, it’s always a different (or always the same) volunteer who arranges it for the family and pays it from the “bank” that each of us contributes to equally.

In our family, each family member is in charge of buying a gift for a different occasion. For example, someone does bar mitzvah flowers or miniatures, another one does upsherin gifts, and so on. We have a set budget for each occasion, and everyone Zelles their share to the person who’s buying the gift. So far, it’s working out very well!

Please submit your answer by Tuesday night, August 19, for a chance to see it in print!

Email or text pov@thewview.com

Fax: 718-247-8881

Voicemail: 718-428-2400 ext. 515

To receive the POV question in your inbox every week, send an email to pov@thewview.com with the word “subscribe” in the subject line.

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PARSHAS EIKEV

Simple Little Mitzvos

Y. Levenstein

The parsha begins, “V’haya eikev tishme’un…

— And it will be, because you will heed these mitzvos and keep them, Hashem, your G-d, will keep the bris He promised to your forefathers” ( Devarim 7:12). The pasuk continues by listing the overabundance of soil, grain, wine, oil and cattle we will merit as a result.

Rashi, citing Chazal, explains what “eikev” means. These are simple mitzvos that one tramples with his heel. If one keeps these mitzvos, Hashem will keep His bris.

What does “simple mitzvos” mean? And why is it that if we keep them, we deserve that promise of abundance?

An experienced melamed shares:

ELI WAS A QUIET BOY. Painfully shy and withdrawn, he rarely interacted with his classmates. During lessons, too, his voice was never heard. Yet even in the noise of a classroom of close to 30 spirited boys, he did not escape his rebbi’s notice.

His rebbi attempted to help him open up. He encouraged Eli to participate in games during recess time, but it never worked. He asked Eli pointed questions in class — ones he knew Eli could answer — but that didn’t help either. Eli seemed determined not to speak.

The rebbi’s heart went out to his uncommunicative, unsocial talmid. Stumped by the extent of Eli’s insistence to keep to himself, he turned to a veteran mechanech and asked, “How can I help my talmid?”

“Smile,” the man replied.

The rebbi instantly flashed a broad smile. “But how’s that going to help Eli?”

“Don’t smile at me,” the

mechanech said. “Smile at Eli. Just smile. Not once and not all day, but you should shower him with smiles every time you see him. When you bump into him in the hallway, give him a warm, loud greeting. Make him feel like you’re really happy to see him. Get him to believe that his very presence is important to you and to everyone else around him. Don’t tell it to him outright — ‘Your being here means so much to me.’ Rather, express it through your actions, your mannerisms and your smile.”

“How’s that going to help?” the rebbi asked, trying to understand the approach.

“What causes a person to feel disconnected and choose to be removed from the social scene?” the mechanech explained. “The thought that he’s extra, an unnecessary human being. When you show him that he’s important to you and that he is very much needed, you’re building inside him a belief in himself. You’re giving him the ability to crawl — slowly, slowly — out of the cocoon that he enclosed himself in.”

It didn’t happen overnight, but it worked. The boy was showered with thousands of smiles. His rebbi no longer called upon him in class or prodded him to participate in the social setting. He simply smiled at him whenever he saw him.

That smile communicated to Eli that he counted. Within a few weeks, his shoulders were less slumped, and within a few months, Eli’s classmates even heard his voice. By the end of the year, Eli was happily involved in the games during recess.

It was as straightforward as some good old warmth and an ever-present smile.

* * * * *

For many years, the neighborhood children gathered every Shabbos afternoon for a Chevras Tehillim run by Reb Dovid. They would hear dramatic stories, say Tehillim, and of course, get treats and prizes. Many boys attended. Reb Dovid had this

Eli seemed determined not to speak. The rebbi’s heart went out to his uncommunicative, unsocial talmid

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Reb Dovid always thanked the boy profusely. “If not for you, there would be no Chevras Tehillim,” he would tell him

way of making it very geshmak, and nobody wanted to miss out.

One day, Reb Dovid received a phone call from a neighbor, who happened to be quite well off. The man wanted to meet to discuss something. He probably wants to give a donation, Reb Dovid thought. From time to time, he would look for sponsors to offset the expenses of the Tehillim group, and other times, people would reach out to him, looking to donate in honor of a simcha or as a zechus. But he was totally unprepared for what he would hear.

“I feel so indebted to you,” the man began. “I came to express my hakaras hatov. It’s about my son.”

Reb Dovid knew exactly which boy they were talking about. He was a lively boy, with as much energy as several children combined. And when it came to learning anything that demanded more than ten seconds of attention, the results were disastrous.

His parents and mechanchim tried everything. They tried to contain him with discipline and they tried to tame him by giving him the independence he craved. They tried to give him extra help, and when that didn’t help, they tried switching schools. In short, his parents didn’t have a very easy time raising the boy.

When it came to Chevras Tehillim, too, this child wanted to participate — but he turned the place over. Reb Dovid decided to get him on board. He would channel the boy’s extra energy into some assigned jobs. He put him in charge of the drinks, treats and prizes. He asked him to come half an hour before the group started to set up, and to stay late afterward to help him clean up. And every week, the boy showed up. He arranged the chairs and stacked them. He set out the treats and distributed the prizes. He took care of everything without being told what needed to be done. Reb Dovid always thanked the boy profusely. “If not for you, there would be no Chevras Tehillim,” he would tell him, week in and week out.

“This week,” the boy’s father shared with Reb Dovid, emotion evident on his face, “in the middle of the Shabbos

seudah, my son called out that there is one person in the world whom he loves — more than his teachers, more than his brothers, more than anyone else he knows. He loves Reb Dovid. He even explained why. ‘Reb Dovid is the only person in the whole world who believes everything I say. He trusts me with closed eyes, and he never, ever criticizes me. I know that he sees me as the most important person in the world.’”

The father was silent for a moment. Reb Dovid was silent too. He had never thought he was doing anything heroic. Truth be told, he didn’t have the boy’s chinuch in mind here. Nobody had ever asked him to pay extra attention to the child. He simply saw a child with huge potential and gave him the platform and opportunity to express it.

There are some mitzvos that one can perform without any special effort. They’re easy to come by and don’t require much physical involvement or money. That’s why people don’t pay them much attention or realize their value. They are “mitzvos that people trample with their heel.”

As an example, let’s discuss the mitzvah of being kind to another. One smile can really make a difference. There’s no one in the world who doesn’t enjoy a good word. It’s true chesed, as Chazal say (Kesubos 111b), “One who whitens his teeth to his friend [by smiling at him], is better than one who gives him milk to drink.” Giving a warm smile is worth more than a physical glass of milk!

But since smiling at someone is so simple, it’s easy to fail to notice its value. Nevertheless, passing someone and ignoring him is an opportunity missed. It’s so easy to make that person’s day with a warm smile. And all it entails is paying a bit of attention to those around us.

It’s about mitzvos such as these that the Torah says: if you will pay attention and perform them, Hashem will recall His promise and shower us with brachos.

םעד טראפשראפ ךיז טאה סאוו

םעד ןיא .ינוי םענעפאלראפ

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סטקירטסיד יד ןעיירדרעביא ןוא סעפאמ עגיטצעי

ןא ךרוד ןראוועג טגיטעטשאב ןענעז סאוו .עטימאק רעשיאייטראפמוא

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רענידראפ רענייש א זיא רע סאוו ץארט

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MODERN BY NATURE. MINIMAL BY DESIGN.

היהש השעמ

ךיז ןוא עלוש ןיא

סאד באה ךיא רעבא ,ןעגנולעג לאז’ס

עליואוו א יוו .ןדעי יוו טקנופ ןוטעג

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טספאכ וד” ,”!ןרעטש א טסיב”

וד תוחוכ אראפסאוו ללכב

ןענואוועג טסנעק וד” ,”?טסגאמראפ

עכילנע ןוא יד ”!טסעמראפ סטלעוו א ךאנ טיילגאב רימ

יד ןיב ךיא“ רתסא ןוא .הלכ

רעדייא ןרעוו הלכ א לאז

עריא טימ רעטסעווש ענעגנולעג

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ןיימ טיירדעגסיוא באה

טימ סיואראפ ףיוא םינפ :ליצ ןגידענערב ןייא

ןמאנ תיב א ןלעטשפיוא

ןוא שוח ןדעי טימ ןבעל ןוא לארשיב .גאמראפ ךיא סאוו רבא זיא רעפעשאב רעביל רעד רעבא .רימ טימ גיטראפ ןופ טייוו ןעוועג

ןיוש ןיב ךיא זא טניימעג באה ךיא ץיפש ן’טימ ןראוועג טוואורפעג

וטסייוו טצעי

הפוח

2025

NEW BACKPACK COLLECTION

ןוא ,ןצַארטַאמ ןוא

.ןשיט וליפא טָאה חיר רעמענעגנַאמוא רָאג א

טָאה רע רעבָא ,לרעב ןעמונעגפיוא לייוו ,ןרירָאנגיא וצ סע ןסָאלשַאב

ערעדנַא ןייק טַאהעג טשינ טָאה רע טקוקעגמורַא ךיז טָאה רע .הרירב

טָאה רע גנַאליוו זיב רעלעק ן’רעביא

ןטוג וויטַאלער א ןיא ןעוועג זיא סָאוו ץַארטַאמ ןייא ןפָארטעג ןעק רע ואוו ,לקניוו ןגיאור א טכוזעגפיוא ןַאד

TUESDAY, AUGUST 19

A showdown at Prance between Tziri and Perela gives Perela clarity.

yellow, but she was still fragile and in pain. When she stood alone for a moment, she resembled a teetering tree in a storm. Her entire body leaned forward and her chin quivered uncontrollably.

Kaily pushed open the door to Natasha’s Tailor Shop and held the door open for Perela to follow with the stroller.

“A gown like this can’t be altered by just anyone,” Perela had paskened. Only Natasha’s would do.

“Chas v’shalom,” Kaily had agreed solemnly. Legend had it that Natasha even ironed the trimmings she used.

With that settled, Kaily’s only issue was that she needed the newly-unemployed Perela as her wardrobe consultant. Which meant that Sruly had to Babi-sit, leaving him stuck home when he had hundreds of errands to run. Kaily and Perela had spent the entire ride to the seamstress discussing exactly this issue.

But if two Jews had three opinions, four Jews meant six opinions.

Yiddy had shown up with Mommy on Sunday morning. Her mother looked… better. Her bruise had turned a multi-hued

As soon as their mother was out of earshot, Yiddy said, “It’s not a mehalech. We did it as long as it made sense, but now things have changed. We’re not talking nursing home, we’re simply going to hire an aide. And Kaily… hopefully, you won’t be able to continue doing this, either.”

She forgave him for that comment, because she’d come to accept that Yiddy had less class than heart, and if she had to choose between the two, she would choose heart.

“Well, I’m not telling her that,” she’d responded. “She listens to you. You do it.”

Well, Yiddy went quiet after that, and left. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you,” he said as a parting shot.

Eli simply absolved himself of this duty. “If Yiddy can’t, what do you expect from me?”

“We’re totally here already, and we’re no closer to a decision,” Perela said as they entered the musty hallway leading to the studio. She peeled off her gloves — another China

SHE’D COME TO ACCEPT THAT YIDDY HAD LESS CLASS THAN HEART, AND IF SHE HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE TWO, SHE WOULD CHOOSE HEART

THE VOICE WAS LOUD, CRASS AND INQUISITIVE. “HE’S BACK,” IT ANNOUNCED, WITHOUT INTRODUCTION

Custom made Bekitche

purchase — and rubbed her palms together. “And where’s global warming when we need it most?” She unzipped Yanky’s coat and warmed his palms in her own.

Kaily waited for her to grumble, such a shlep to bring him along, but Perela merely kept warming his hands and handed him a snack and sippie cup.

Kaily stared at her own chapped, un-gloved hands, and a familiar feeling of self-pity wormed its way down her frozen arms.

She paused. It’s my very own fault

Today, right after they were done at the seamstress, she would go to an accessory shop and buy herself a pair of gloves. And a scarf.

They entered the main room. It looked like a sauna, with vapor coming from various steamers along the wall, and Kaily actually spied a clip-on iron on a spool of trimming.

“This is global warming,” Perela muttered under her breath.

Kaily tittered.

Natasha glared.

But when she emerged, even Natasha’s eyes lit up, though all she said was, “Nice.”

She started on the side seams, working quickly and expertly, with Perela offering some good advice on how to fix the neckline.

“Can you stop that

rrringing,” Natasha said the moment Kaily’s phone shrilled. Her Rs rolled almost threateningly, even with pins in her mouth.

“I’m telling you it’s Sruly,” Kaily fretted to Perela. “It’s crazy that he’s the one with Mommy.”

“Don’t worry,” Perela soothed. “It’s not ek velt if he has to do this once in a while. Should I get the phone?”

Kaily nodded anxiously.

Perela answered on speakerphone. “Hi,” she said.

The voice was loud, crass and inquisitive. “He’s back,” it announced, without introduction.

“Who is?” Perela asked.

“Who? Who? What do you mean who? Terach!”

“Terach?” Perela echoed, dumbfounded.

Fruma Esther. Kaily blanched.

“Stand straight, will you?” Natasha shook Kaily’s shoulders.

“Mordechai Newman is coming back tomorrow.” The shadchan spoke slowly, as if to a child. “He wants to know when you’re available. And don’t try anything stupid.”

Perela laughed silently. Kaily blushed.

“Uh. My mother…” Kaily started. “I can’t really… Look, you saw what happened last time.”

“I dare you,” Perela mouthed.

NECHY LOOKED AT BOTH OF THEM, HER EYES FILLED WITH UNSHED TEARS. “YOU KNOW IT’S THE TWO OF YOU I HAVE TO THANK. YOU’VE GIVEN ME THE STRENGTH TO GIVE”

“Either you stand straight, or you go home,” Natasha said. Kaily straightened, defeated.

Perela moved the phone closer to her mouth. “Any night this week works,” she said.

Kaily stuck a gloved hand into the mailbox and removed the day’s mail. She quickly sorted the envelopes into three piles — her mother’s (insurance bills, mostly), the new tenants’ (invitations, mostly, and life insurance offers), and hers (mostly nothing). At the very bottom of the pile, a striking postcard, addressed to her, caught her eye.

In large block letters, against the backdrop of the Alps, were the words: Life is a mountain? Join us as we scale the ups and downs with fun and food.

Then there was a short, handwritten line.

Kaily, we miss you. We’d love to have you join this trip.

There were details for a snow tubing event which would take place Sunday, the fourth day of Chanukah.

The card was signed by Nechy and Sisters OTG Nechy. Nechy? Her Sisters On The Go?

She leaned on the mailbox, processing what she was seeing. This was Nechy. The woman who had shown up at her doorstep a broken shell of a woman. She and Mira had taken her under their wing, supported her, encouraged her, and had given her the strength to start living.

A feeling she couldn’t quite name overwhelmed her. She’d felt like this when her sons had gotten married. A mixture of pain at the

separation, pride at their growth, and a tiny bit worried about what this new development meant for her.

She dialed Mira’s number as she made her way up the walkway.

“Kaily!” Mira’s cheerful, if surprised, voice came through the line. Kaily hadn’t spoken to Mira since her wedding two weeks ago.

“Hi,” Kaily said, a bit more restrained. She hoped time would make the discomfort fade. Especially now that she got Mira. Hadn’t she done the same by keeping her shidduch a secret from those closest to her?

“Mira, did you get the postcard?” She kept her tone even, wanting to gauge Mira’s reaction before sharing her thoughts.

“I did, Kaily. I did.”

“And how did you feel?” Kaily prodded.

“Well… proud.” The way her voice trailed off, Kaily knew there was more. She walked up the stairs toward the house, but didn’t open the door. She needed privacy, even as the wind whipped her breath away.

“And, well, it’s not easy to let go, and watch others take over. But Baruch Hashem for good reasons.”

And though she couldn’t see Mira, Kaily knew Mira was winking.

It was strange to climb onto the van along with the other bundledup women. No need to make sure everyone had arrived and the food was packed, or worry whether the balmy weather would hold up.

Instead, Kaily and Mira silently watched Nechy haul boxes into the van and make some frantic

phone calls.

“I don’t belong here,” Mira whispered. “But I owe it to Nechy.”

Kaily nodded. The women had been excited to see them, but she had sensed a shift when it came to Mira. She was part of the other, now.

When the van finally pulled away, Nechy finally breathed easy. Kaily watched her effortlessly exchange greetings, offer advice and even give a shoulder squeeze to a woman Kaily didn’t recognize. A newcomer, obviously, one she didn’t know.

Nechy was the leader now, and she was doing a great job at it.

Mira moved over to make room. “Nechy,” she said sincerely, “I’m so proud!”

Kaily sat silently. She leaned in and squeezed Nechy’s hand.

Nechy looked at both of them, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “You know it’s the two of you I have to thank. You’ve given me the strength to give.”

Kaily blinked back her own tears.

The magic held as they reached the snowy slopes. Her breath caught from the blinding sunlight bouncing off the snow. The combination was too magnificent to comprehend. Was the snow making the sunlight beautiful or the other way around?

In the background, the women’s voices tinkled in excited anticipation. Kaily allowed herself to join the fun.

“Let’s go,” she told Mira.

But Mira held her back for a moment. “I deserve it,” Mira said suddenly. “That you’re shutting me out like this. But I just wanted to wish you hatzlacha.” She winked. “I heard wonderful things about him.”

Kaily shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was. “What? You too?” she groaned.

But then she laughed, and stepped forward in the blinding sunlight.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Sunday-Thursday includes overnight stay for two • dinner • breakfast bbq dinner on the patio available Wednesday & Thursday $348 FOR 2

The word kugel conjures up visions of the ultimate heimish comfort food, lovingly served up fresh, hot and steaming. Kugels have graced our Shabbos and Yom Tov tables in many forms throughout the ages, but it’s 2025, and kugel has received a face-lift, thanks to the innovation of Mr. Spilman at The Kugel Shoppe. The Kugel Shoppe’s objective is to present the consumer with a fresh (never frozen) item that tastes just as good as it looks.

This week we are excited to share one of The Kugel Shoppe’s signature recipes.

BROCCOLI Kugel

INGREDIENTS

2 lb. frozen broccoli florets, defrosted

1 small onion

8 eggs

5 oz. oil

½ tsp. garlic powder Salt and pepper, to taste

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

2. Place broccoli and onion into the food processor. Pulse until blended but not too finely ground.

3. Add the rest of the ingredients, and pulse until mixed well.

4. Pour the mixture into a 3-pound loaf pan.

5. Bake uncovered until goldenbrown, approximately 1 hour.

PRO TIPS

1. For perfect overnight kugel, wrap the entire kugel pan in foil, and keep it in the oven on 200°.

2. When freezing kugel, seal it in plastic. Defrost and heat low and slow on 300° for 3 hours.

This beautiful and heartwarming kugel spread can feed any size hungry crowd.

FAIGY REINER

Two-Tone

POTATO KUGEL

The creamy broccoli mixed with half the potato in this Two-Tone Potato Kugel gives it a vibrant green base, while the golden potato layer on top stays crisp and classic. It’s presentable, flavorful and always gets compliments at the table.

INGREDIENTS

7 large Yukon potatoes

7 eggs

3 T. water

2 T. kosher salt Pinch of black pepper

3 T. flour

¼ cup oil

1 (24 oz. bag) frozen broccoli

5 cloves garlic

2 T. flour

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 500°. Line a 5-pound loaf pan with parchment paper, and set aside.

2. Using the kugel blade on the food processor, grate the peeled potatoes.

3. In a large bowl, combine the grated potatoes, eggs, water, salt, black pepper, flour and oil. Mix thoroughly until well combined. Set aside.

4. Boil the broccoli and garlic cloves in salted water until the broccoli is fork-tender.

5. Drain well, and mash the broccoli and garlic until mostly smooth.

6. Mix in the flour until fully incorporated.

7. Mix half of the prepared potato mixture into the mashed broccoli mixture. This creates the thicker, green broccoli-potato layer.

8. Spread the broccoli-potato mixture evenly on the bottom of the prepared loaf pan.

9. Pour the remaining plain potato mixture over the top to create two distinct layers — green on the bottom, white on top.

10. Bake for 1 hour, then reduce the temperature to 350° and bake for an additional hour. Let the kugel cool slightly before flipping it out of the pan. Slice, serve and enjoy!

NOTE

You might have a bit of extra mixture depending on the size of your loaf pan. If that happens, you can bake the excess in muffin tins to create mini kugels. Adjust the baking time accordingly.

MEDLEY KUGEL Vegetable

This vegetable loaf has become one of my favorite ways to serve a hearty, veggie-filled side that’s still comforting and satisfying. It slices beautifully, making it perfect for serving when hosting.

INGREDIENTS

3 zucchini, peeled and grated

2 large carrots, peeled and grated

2 red bell peppers, thinly sliced

1 onion, diced

2 T. oil

2 packets matzah ball mix

7 eggs

3 tsp. kosher salt

2 tsp. garlic powder

2 tsp. onion powder

2 tsp. dried parsley

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 350°. Line a 5-pound loaf pan with parchment paper, and set aside.

2. Squeeze out as much liquid as possible from the grated zucchini. Discard the liquid, and place the zucchini in a large mixing bowl.

3. Add the grated carrots and sliced red bell peppers to the bowl.

4. In a pan, saute the diced onion in oil over medium heat until golden brown, then add it to the vegetable mixture.

5. In a separate bowl, whisk together the matzah ball mix, eggs and spices until well combined.

6. Pour the egg mixture over the vegetables, and mix everything thoroughly using your hands or a spatula until fully incorporated.

7. Transfer the mixture to the prepared loaf pan, and smooth the top.

8. Bake for 1 hour and 30 minutes, or until the loaf is set and golden on top. Let it cool completely in the pan before slicing.

KUGEL Deli

I love making this kugel when I want to serve something that’s both hearty and impressive. Loaded with savory pastrami, corned beef and golden onions, it’s a dish that’s both comforting and special.

INGREDIENTS

¾ lb. thinly sliced cooked corned beef, diced

¾ lb. thinly sliced cooked pastrami, diced

1 white onion, diced

2 T. oil

5 eggs

½ cup mayonnaise

1 T. mustard

2 T. ketchup

¾ cup cornflake crumbs

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. kosher salt

Pinch of black pepper

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 350°. Line a 5-pound loaf pan with parchment paper, and set aside.

2. In a skillet over medium heat, saute the diced onion in oil until soft and golden. Set aside to cool slightly.

3. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs, mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, cornflake crumbs and spices until smooth and well combined.

4. Fold in the diced corned beef, pastrami and sauteed onions until evenly coated.

5. Transfer the mixture to the prepared loaf pan and smooth the top.

6. Bake for 55 minutes, or until the top is golden and the center is set. Allow to cool fully before slicing.

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KUGEL Lukshen

This kugel recipe is one of many treasured dishes passed down from my grandmother, who’s not only a talented cook but also my constant inspiration in the kitchen. Her food has a way of bringing everyone together, and this sweet, slightly peppery noodle kugel is one of her most-beloved recipes.

INGREDIENTS

1 pack spaghetti noodles, cooked

1 pack fettuccine noodles, cooked

6 eggs

1½ cups sugar or 1 cup agave

4 T. vanilla

1 cup oil

¼ cup honey

¼ cup breadcrumbs

1 T. salt

1½ tsp. pepper

1 tsp. cinnamon

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 420°. Line a 5-pound loaf pan with parchment paper, and set aside.

2. In a very large mixing bowl, combine the eggs, sugar (or agave), vanilla, oil, honey, breadcrumbs and spices. Whisk until the mixture is smooth and fully combined.

3. Add the cooked spaghetti and fettuccine noodles to the bowl. Toss gently until all the noodles are well coated.

4. Pour the noodle mixture into the prepared loaf pan, pressing it down lightly to fill the shape.

5. Bake at 420° for 20 minutes, then reduce the heat to 350° and continue baking for 1 hour, or until golden and set in the center. Let it cool completely in the pan.

6. Once cooled, lift it out by the parchment paper for a clean and beautiful presentation. Slice and serve warm or at room temperature.

You waited for your babysitter, gave her a long list of instructions, and dashed the six blocks to the hall where you slide into your seat at a beautifully set table and think you’re the hero.

But to ensure that a simcha runs smoothly, it takes more than just having a dessert fork at each place setting and clean drinking glasses. It requires patience, ingenuity and, at times, nerves of steel. There are a thousand moving parts to every simcha, and keeping all cogs moving along requires a rare skill set.

These behind-the-scenes interviews will leave you with an appreciation for the effort that goes into what you, as a guest, view as a seamless experience.

GOLDY SWIMER

MR. KAUFMAN OF APERION CATERING , AND THE EXCLUSIVE CATERER OF THE KESER REIZEL AND KESER TZVI

WEDDING

IN

HALLS

WILLIAMSBURG, IS AN ICON IN THE INDUSTRY.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

Aperion Catering was never in the cards. Thirty years ago, my business fell apart due to stiff competition, and I was left without parnassah. A gitte Yid advised me to take any opportunity that came my way, and I did, becoming a shamas in a Williamsburg bais midrash

I offered some food — my older brother is a caterer — and b’siyata d’Shmaya, the oilam liked my offerings. When a cook suddenly left a summer camp in the lurch, I stepped in, and it kind of took off from there. I began catering for a small hall in Williamsburg, which led me to the Lakehouse Hotel in Woodridge.

Today, Aperion has 17 locations, plus an additional 21 in the mountains. Aperion has developed a reputation for high-end, on-target catering in every location, every time. I personally train the chefs at each location so they get my touch and creativity. Once locations are up and running, I keep popping in to ensure our high standards are maintained.

Though I’ve been in the business for thirty years, I still don the apron for specialty cooking. The more interesting the customer requests, the more difficult the

job, but the more fun it will be for me. I’ve never had any formal training, and I know my skill and hands are a gift from Hashem.

I “borrowed” our name, Aperion, from a hall in Eretz Yisroel. We lived there when I was a young child, and the name (aperion means garden) evokes sophistication and an upperclass experience, which I believe our brand delivers.

SOME MEMORABLE NIGHTS

This happened a very, very long time ago, but there was once a disaster where a baal simcha called fifteen minutes before the zman. He was hosting one hundred guests, and he was wondering where his Shabbos was! I have no idea how that happened. Apparently, we had simply forgotten to make a note of the event! Mortification aside, fifteen minutes later, we’d pulled a Shabbos together. Thankfully, we always cook for far more guests than we anticipate, and we finagled fish from another caterer.

In another incident, which would never happen today, we booked an event on the night of a legal holiday. Not even one waiter showed up; they were likely drunk or out partying. With the help of my kids and the baal simcha’s children, I waited on those tables myself.

Sometimes, what could be a catastrophic mistake spawns a new recipe. A cook used kirbies in a zucchini soup. It was such a hit that cucumber soup (which is surprisingly tasty, who knew) was a popular item on our menu for a while. Our smallest event was a very high-end meal for only four individuals. It lasted four hours, featured a super high-end chef, and featured fifteen courses. Our largest events were the Satmar Zichri and Torascha Sh’ashuoi siyumim

HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED

When I began working in the industry, people came to simchos to eat, and as long as the food was good, everyone was happy. Nowadays, simchos are just as much about the vibe as the food. Catering used to be about feeding people well, but now it’s about making people feel good. Perhaps I’m dating

myself, but when we began, mashed beans and liver or a quarter cantaloupe was a perfectly upscale appetizer. When Aperion began, I made the same simcha every night, copy and paste. Same tablecloths, same menu, same florals. In the last ten years, no two simchos are the same. The oilam has opinions!

ADVICE I GIVE BAALEI SIMCHA

Take the advice of the pros. They have the most experience and know what your guests will like. Your own opinion is of one individual, but mine reflects thirty years, thousands of simchos and hundreds of thousands of plates. If a baal simcha loves fish and requests that for an appetizer, I might tell them that most plates will return untouched. Some customers show me pictures of pretty plates they’ve found online, but I know that while plate number one will look nice, by the time plate number fifty rolls around, it won’t look anything like plate number one, and your guests will be starving. Similarly, I’ll know when certain dishes can’t be served hot or are seasonally inappropriate.

MR. LIEBERMAN, OF ATERES CHYNKA IN BORO PARK, GRACIOUSLY SHARED SOME OF HIS TIME WITH US.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

I was involved in the simcha business long before Ateres Chynka came onto the scene. My first foray involved the Torah V’Yirah hall on Fort Hamilton Parkway. My wife and I designed that hall from the ground up back in 1989. There weren’t too many other options then. There was Menorah, Armon Terrace, La Pavil and some others, for those of you who still remember these.

In 2000, the owners of Ateres Chynka reached out to industry veterans for input on how to build their wedding hall. I was actively involved in the plans. In fact, the building’s fi-

nal construction is one-third bigger than originally intended due to my feedback, allowing for more wedding guests to be seated comfortably. I also had them incorporate many ideas Hashem gave me that involved the kitchen, ballroom and staircases. There’s so much to consider when building a wedding hall to ensure things flow smoothly.

I did this purely to help out another Yid, and Hashem remunerated me generously when the owners asked me to come on board as the exclusive caterer at Ateres Chynka in 2004. I’ve been with them ever since.

If you arrive at Ateres Chynka at 4 p.m., there will be nothing to eat; everything is cooked fresh from scratch that very afternoon! The food on our wedding guests’ plates are raw ingredients only a few hours prior. This commitment is solid, and it shows in our quality catering. While I’ve, baruch Hashem, sat with thousands of mechutanim, I’m cognizant of the fact that this is their first wedding (even if it’s their eighth child), and we take the time to listen and accommodate. Creating a wedding menu takes around three hours, on average.

SOME MEMORABLE NIGHTS

In the happy chaos of weddings, things sometimes get lost, and the wait staff is often needlessly blamed. Some bring large sums of money to pay various vendors, and I can’t tell you how many times they’ve pointed fingers at the wait staff, only to sheepishly call me three days later when they find the bills in a bekishe pocket.

I always tell mechutanim to keep track of their

possessions. One kallah had used a deck tichel, a chefetz of a rebbe, and it had vanished. We turned the place upside down, but we could not locate it.

One chasan had worn a family heirloom vest under the chuppah, and it had disappeared. The vest did not belong to this family, and they were understandably distraught. I tracked down the trash bags from that room, donned heavy gloves, and proceeded to open the bags. Hashem helped, and I found the item in one of the first bags I checked. I later discovered that the vest belonged to the Satmar Rebbe, zy”a. I had helped another Yid and was zoche to hold a garment my holy rebbe had worn.

Another memorable night involved a wedding at which I was a mechutan. I promised never, ever to cater my own children’s weddings, but my youngest daughter, knowing that her father can, b’ezras Hashem, pull off a beautiful wedding, wheedled until I gave in. She was my mezinka, after all.

Word got out that we were serving rib steak, and the crowds just kept coming. I kept running between the ballroom and the kitchen, which was struggling to keep up with demand. I never run out of food — we always cook more than ordered — and here I was, coming up short at my own daughter’s wedding! My wife (and devoted partner in this business) was beside herself too. She ran into the yichud room where the couple was eating, exclaiming, “Our guests don’t have their food!” (She doesn’t remember this part of the story, but my daughter does!)

Baruch Hashem, the Viennese table following the meal more than compensated for the steak shortage.

HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED

Yes, the price of weddings has gone up, up, up. But so have the expectations of customers. Today, which mechutan would be okay with bakery cake trays at the Viennese table? Serving two or three hot dishes at the smorgasbord was ostentatious only a few years ago. Today, a standard wedding will probably boast a dozen. Similarly, long tablecloths are par for the course, as is deboned chicken.

Ten years ago, I was making stuffed chicken every night. Now mechutanim request their cutlet standing up, facing down or whatever. Every little thing translates into lots of extra dollars. And that’s before we even touch florals and the band.

ADVICE I GIVE BAALEI SIMCHA

Keep that wedding running on time! If your simcha is timely, everyone will be happier: the chasan, kallah, caterer, guests and your wallet. Of course, I understand that some things are unavoidable and wholly out of your control, such as the mesader kiddushin getting stuck in traffic. Nevertheless, try to get everything else running on time.

My office is stocked with every item you can think of, including deck tichels, kittels, kesubahs in every nusach imaginable, shtar tena’ims and various seforim. Every item has been used. I’ll never forget the time I traveled to a different borough to pick up a chasan’s kittel — he didn’t want to use mine!

For a caterer, a meal that is not split is far simpler to execute. But if you ask me, a split meal results in a far more beautiful affair. It allows the chasan and kallah to enjoy their wedding and welcome guests properly. By and large, chassidish weddings eschew the split because it’s much harder to sit the guests back down (particularly the women!), and this tradition has fallen out of favor. But I do think there’s nothing like it.

WE SPOKE WITH MR. STEVE KOHN, PARTNER AND MANAGER OF THE ATRIUM BALLROOM IN MONSEY. STEVE HAS BEEN AT THE ATRIUM SINCE ITS INCEPTION IN 1990.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

Back when we purchased our now-iconic property on Route 59 in 1988, Monsey did not have any dedicated wedding halls. Two halls existed in the basement of educational facilities, and neither was on an elevated standard. We built a huge 35,000-square-foot ballroom, including the largest chuppah room located within a kosher wedding hall, a men’s kabbalas panim hall, a separate room for the Viennese table, and seven dressing rooms for the bridal party. Our main

ballroom spans over 11,000 square feet with an additional 5,000-square-foot extension available.

Leading up to the first wedding, I quite nearly slept in the hall. On opening day, the kallah was taking photos as we frantically strung crystals onto the chandelier. Twenty-four hours before showtime, there was not a single chair to sit on; all one thousand chairs were delivered the day of our opening. But I knew we were going to make it. I thought of it as a Friday afternoon with Shabbos coming. Somehow, everything falls into place.

SOME MEMORABLE NIGHTS

I’ve woken a rav at 1 a.m. to rewrite a misplaced kusubah, all by hand. Then there was a mistake in the text, and it was redone at 4:00 a.m. The eidim were the rav and I, the only two non-family members around at that hour.

Of course, we’ve had our fair share of props going up in flames. A fancy mechitzah involving floating votives comes to mind. The band and singer launched into a new medley of songs to delay the chuppah. But by the time the chuppah got underway, the kesubah needed to be rewritten, because it was already the next day!

I’ll never forget an elaborate chuppah constructed by the floral team. It was beautiful, with three draped walls and an open top. It was also totally not kosher. When I asked the team about it, I was rebuffed. I really dislike confrontation, so I walked away. Right at the

chuppah, the rav spotted the problem and ordered it dismantled. The florist had long gone home, and I took the entire thing apart right then and there. The next day, I got flak because, apparently, I should’ve known the chuppah was not kosher. It was an important lesson: Everything that transpires at The Atrium reflects the owners, even when responsibility lies with the vendor.

We’ve had heartwarming moments, too. Someone paid for a part of a wedding, but asked that he remain anonymous. He suggested I invent a discount, and I did, telling the mechutan he scored a five-dollar discount per portion. Problems arose when a few weeks later, a different baal simcha asked for the same discount… I don’t recall how I finagled my way out of that.

Most memorably, the chasan’s side paid for the entire wedding, as the kallah’s family did not have the means. Traditionally, the kallah’s family is the one with the important chuppah kibbudim, but in this case, the kallah’s father dispatched me to tell his mechutan that all the kibbudim were his to distribute. The chasan’s father disagreed, saying that, notwithstanding who paid for the

wedding, the tradition remains. The kallah’s father, however, remained adamant.

Back I went to the chasan’s father.

“Look,” he told me, “I paid for this wedding. If you come to me one more time about this, I’m not paying!”

Of course, he was kidding, but in the end, the kibbudim went to the kallah’s side.

AN INTERESTING REQUEST

Baalei simcha can choose between our chuppah room and our parking lot to have their chuppahs. One mechutan suggested we build a porch — and we did. The porch, off our chuppah room, has been used hundreds of times since. The children of that chasan and kallah have gotten married on that porch as well.

HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED

Weddings have gotten far more sophisticated. We’ve come a long way from the strawberries arranged in a flower, topped with whipped cream. The same goes for the band, tablecloths and florals. Place cards are out, which can at times be a headache for the catering staff, because we often need to open tables mid-meal.

In the last eighteen months, The Atrium has gone through three different sets of dinnerware. (Service is for 1,000, in case you were wondering; lately baalei simcha are requesting more service.) Each dish is carefully curated and assessed for shape, color and size. Wait staff in the ‘90s was one per two and a half tables, whereas now our ratio is one to a table. Commensurately, our staff has exploded in size. When we began, we had a main chef, a sous chef, and two dishwashers who would help with the plating. Today we have fifteen people on a standard plating line alone!

A NEW LOOK

The Atrium has recently undergone a $2 million renovation. Our entrance features a soaring marble staircase with ornate railings, a grand piano on a marble platform, and a marble floor with a contrasting curved inlay in our upstairs rotunda. We’ve also installed new doors, signage and the bathrooms all got powder rooms. All of our dressing rooms also boast new furniture. Remarkably, this massive overhaul was completed in just six weeks! We worked eighteen- to twenty-hour days to make it happen, and we reopened right on schedule. The Brach and Wertzberger families came on board as our exclusive caterers, and we’ve partnered with them to give our customers the Atrium experience they’ve come to expect, updated for 2025.

It’s been nearly 35 years of happy weddings, baruch Hashem, and we look forward to hosting many, many more.

Diamonds. They’re brilliant, they’re striking, they dazzle the eye with a sparkling array of colors. And… they’re expensive.

But has that changed?

In recent years, labgrown diamonds have exploded onto the market, offering glamor and beauty at significantly lower prices. Here, Leebi Breuer of Versailles Jewelers discusses the phenomenon: What exactly are lab-grown diamonds, and what are they not?

If you told Leebi Breuer two years ago that she’d be selling lab-grown diamonds one day — actually, if you knew Leebi, you’d have told her no such thing in the first place.

“I love jewelry,” she says. “I always thought I’d end up working in a jewelry store. But I appreciate quality. I’m not one for knockoffs or cheap fakes.”

In the spring of 2024, when Leebi found herself with time to spare, she opted to take that dream a step further and launch her own jewelry business.

She quickly discovered that it was easier said than done. “In this industry, everyone is extremely secretive. Unlike many other businesses, no one in diamonds will share their tips or connections.” She reached out to many insiders but kept hitting dead ends. Finally, after weeks of frustration, she spoke to someone who knew someone who referred her to someone who was connected to someone who sold diamonds on 47th Street. When she finally made contact with this dealer, he was shocked she’d succeeded.

With that achievement behind her, Leebi was still intent on exploring all of her options. In the course of her inquiries, she was given a phone number. “Call this woman,” she was advised. “She’ll be helpful.”

She was helpful — but it turned out that the stones she sold were not natural, mined diamonds, but lab-grown ones.

“I had zero interest,” Leebi says. “I knew I wanted only the real thing. Lab-grown was really not my style.”

But further conversation piqued her interest sufficiently for her to broach the topic with her supplier on 47th street.

“I’m not young,” the diamond dealer told her candidly. “I’ve been doing this for decades, and I’m not going to pivot now. But the fact is, the industry is pivoting. The lab-grown stone is the stone of the future.”

Coming from a seasoned industry insider, this jolted Leebi. “But I wondered,” she says. “Is this true for the general market, or is it only our community where lab-grown is gaining popularity?”

She set about researching the facts, and her findings were shocking. “I realized some of the biggest diamond sellers in the secular world were offering lab-grown diamonds alongside natural ones. Blue Nile, one of the largest online jewelers, offers an option of natural or lab-grown for any diamond you choose. At this point, about half of all diamonds being sold are lab-grown.”

A lab grown diamond factory

Clearly, the industry was shifting. Leebi was ready to shift too. In August of 2024, Versailles Jewelers was born.

THE PROCESS

carbon). The other method is called HHPHT, which stands for high pressure high temperature, which replicates the natural diamond formation process by using extreme pressure coupled with high temperatures to grow the diamond.

“Up until recently, CVD produced a superior product,” Leebi says, “so I mostly sold that. But the technology is evolving, and at this point, both methods produce a highquality diamond.”

PRICE COMPARISON

“Shortly after I opened the store,” Leebi recounts, “A relative walked in. And there, on the table, was a necklace she’d recently purchased for thirteen thousand dollars. I had it priced at $3,500. She almost cried.” A few weeks later, a friend spotted an earring she owned — also for a fraction of what she’d paid.

“The bigger the stones, the more substantial the price difference will be.” Leebi explains. “When you buy a tennis bracelet with tiny diamond chips, you’re not really paying much for the diamonds, because you’re not getting much in the way of diamonds at all. Most of the cost is in the gold and the labor.”

IN THE COURSE OF HER INQUIRIES, SHE WAS GIVEN A PHONE NUMBER. “CALL THIS WOMAN,” SHE WAS ADVISED. “SHE’LL BE HELPFUL”

Lab-grown diamonds, Leebi explains, are formed using a diamond “seed,” a tiny piece of diamond. In the lab, the seed will be subjected to just the right temperature and pressure conditions to allow it to grow. In a matter of weeks, a new diamond is created.

“There are two methods for accomplishing this,” Leebi says. In CVD, or chemical vapor deposition, carbon-rich gasses are heated up in a low-pressure chamber, allowing the carbon molecules to bond to the seed and grow the diamond one layer at a time (diamonds are made of

Diamond setting, she says, is super expensive, and a bracelet with tens of tiny diamonds is going to reflect that expense, irrespective of the diamond’s origins or quality. “If you buy that same tennis bracelet with lab-grown diamond chips, the price difference will be negligible.”

“WITH LAB-GROWN, THE STONES ACCOUNT FOR SUCH A SMALL PORTION OF THE PRICE THAT BIGGER STONES OFTEN RESULT IN LOWER PRICES, AS THERE ARE LESS DIAMONDS TO SET”

However, lab-grown will net you more bang for your buck. Whereas upgrading a diamond chip bracelet to include slightly bigger natural stones will cause the price to shoot up significantly, with lab-grown, you can get larger stones at virtually the same price.

“In fact,” Leebi adds, “with labgrown, the stones account for such a small portion of the price that bigger stones often result in lower prices, as there are less diamonds to set.”

That’s why so many kallah’s are getting lab-grown these days. The mechuteniste might be paying practically the same amount, because the cost of gold and labor don’t allow the price to drop beyond a certain minimum. But they’re getting beautiful stones for that price, in place of the tiny diamond chips they’d get if they went for mined diamonds.

While some customers will take full advantage of the price difference and purchase very large diamonds, many, Leebi observes, will opt for more modestly-sized stones “so they look like they could be mined.”

FACE-OFF

So how natural are lab-grown stones, really? Can jewelers differentiate between mined diamonds and their lab-grown counterparts?

“That depends on the quality of the natural diamond,” Leebi says. “Most of the natural diamonds you’re seeing are not of very high quality, because high-quality natural diamonds are extremely expensive.” (Diamonds are rated by 4 Cs: color, clarity, carat and cut. Compromising on any of these factors will lower the price of the diamond.) Lab-grown diamonds, on the other hand, are considerably less pricey, making even the most flawless among them affordable to the average consumer. This means the lab-grown stones in your bracelet will generally be far more beautiful than the natural ones you’d purchase in a jewelry store.

“If I have a handful of diamonds in a bag, some natural and some lab-grown, I can immediately spot the lab-grown ones, because they’re clear, they’re blemish-free, they’re perfect.” However, she adds, if you’re looking at a lab-grown diamond alongside a top-tier natural diamond, they’ll be virtually indistinguishable from one another.

“Since the composition is really identical, even the standard diamond testers cannot differentiate between the two.”

Most lab-grown diamonds do have an almost indiscernible stamp on the inside branding them as lab-grown. “There’s a tiny LG symbol, and the color and clarity are often noted as well.” To most people, including a large percentage of jewelers, the symbol is invisible.

“I can’t find it,” Leebie admits. “Nor can many of the professionals I work with. But when viewing the stone through a 20x magnifier, someone who’s well trained and really knows how to look for it will be able to spot the stamp.”

A colleague of hers, Leebi relates, sells both natural and lab-grown diamonds. Before Pesach, she filled an order for an earring featuring top-quality natural diamonds. When the earring came in, she compared it to an identical piece in the showcase, this one with lab-grown diamonds. With the earrings side by side, the woman suddenly realized that she had mixed them up, and she wasn’t sure which was lab and which was natural. Try as she might, she could not tell the

diamonds apart. Local jewelers, too, could not help resolve the conundrum.

“Erev Yom Tov, with no choice, she ran to Manhattan to have the diamonds evaluated by a specialized machine — the only kind that can tell the two apart.”

PUBLIC OPINION

It seems like a no-brainer: higher quality, bigger stones, smaller drain on the wallet. Why, then, are so many people hesitant to make the leap to lab-grown jewelry?

“Mostly, it’s a lack of education,” Leebi opines. “People tend to lump lab-grown and CZs into the same category. They view lab-

WITH THE EARRINGS SIDE BY SIDE, THE WOMAN SUDDENLY REALIZED THAT SHE HAD MIXED THEM UP, AND SHE WASN’T SURE WHICH WAS LAB AND WHICH WAS NATURAL

grown as fake and insist on getting only ‘real’ diamonds. That was my attitude, too, before I researched the topic.” But labgrown diamonds are “real” too.

Interestingly, the ones who can most easily afford the natural diamonds are often the least resistant toward the labgrown version. “Maybe it’s because they don’t need to prove anything to anybody,” Leebi says.

Leebi tells of a jeweler she knows who sold a gorgeous necklace to a very wealthy woman. The woman wanted lab-grown stones, because why spend more unnecessarily? So the necklace was fashioned using lab-grown diamonds. The final product was a masterpiece, so much so that shortly thereafter, the wealthy woman’s friend showed up at the store, requesting a necklace identical to her friend’s.

“The jeweler offered her lab-grown,” Leebi says, “but she wouldn’t hear of it; she wasn’t going to take anything ‘less-than.’ Obviously, for privacy reasons, the seller could not disclose that the diamonds in her friend’s necklace were lab-grown.”

The woman got her necklace, identical to the original, only she paid many times more for it than her friend had.

Another reason consumers will opt for natural diamonds is the promise of resale value.

“Although,” Leebi points out, “most of the diamonds we’re buying don’t really have resale value. If you have a large stone, such as in a diamond ring, and you have a certificate, you can sell it. But the diamonds set into much of the jewelry you see are too small to sell.” (Certificates attest to the diamond’s authenticity, color, clarity and cut, and can be procured for most reasonably-sized diamonds.)

The younger generation, Leebi notes, has definitely had an easier time getting onboard the lab-grown train. “The majority of kallahs are getting lab-grown, and at this point, most of them prefer lab-grown. They’d rather have nicer jewelry than get stuck on natural.”

Young women, too, have increasingly been embracing

lab-grown stones and the possibilities they offer. “Most people aren’t buying jewelry as an investment; they’re buying it for beauty. And once they realize that lab-grown offers more beauty at less cost, they’ll go for it.”

Leebi notes that she’s seen many women opt for labgrown diamonds, only to have their husband balk at the concept. “People feel good about a purchase they paid a lot for.”

Unsurprisingly, it’s the older customers who are most hesitant to consider the lab-grown option. “All their lives, they’ve known that diamonds are valuable, diamonds are eternal. It’s a mindset that’s very hard to change.”

EYE ON THE FUTURE

Over the past few years, as lab-grown diamonds have become more widely available, prices for the manufactured stones have consistently dropped.

“At this point,” Leebi says “the price is fairly stable. I wouldn’t expect it to fall much going forward.”

Leebi believes lab-grown diamond sales may soon outpace that of natural stones, and the value of mined diamonds may plummet in response. “Many jewelers are complaining that recent Yom Tov seasons were slower than expected. With the economy being what it is, people can’t afford jewelry, so now’s a really great time to look into the options of lab-grown diamonds.”

Looking forward, can we really know what the future holds? We can’t. But regardless of their source, diamonds are here to stay.

MIRACLE SHIDDUCH YOUR YOUR

MIRACLE

Marrying is possibly the most significantly life-altering step you’ll ever take. Finding a shidduch has been described as “difficult as splitting the sea,” an area that is concurrently so fraught while we’re so helpless.

Here women share reflections on the who, what, when and how their shidduchim came about — and what they would tell their own grown kids when they reach that stage.

LIBBY SCHREIBER

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

My mother and mother-in-law have been best friends since they were kids. Growing up, I’d sleep over at my mother-in-law every so often when there was a family simcha or my parents went on vacation. I really hit it off with her son, and we were about six or seven when we decided we’d marry each other. It was a running joke on and off through the years, and Hashem had the best laugh of all!

My father’s workmate, who’s a shadchan, was the one who actually redt the shidduch when the time came.

How old were you and your husband when you were engaged?

We were both 18.

How long did it take from when the shidduch was suggested until the two of you met?

Tough one to answer because on some level this was being considered for years, by both my mother-in-law and my father, long after we both moved into our teenage years and off each other’s radars. I think from when it was officially suggested it took something like a week and a half.

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

My oldest is not yet bar mitzvah, so it kind of seems far off, and my own experience in shidduchim was short and not very involved — this shidduch came up, I said hmm, but I’m not sure I like the last name, then came a beshow with a friendturned-stranger, and next thing I knew, I was married with kids, baruch Hashem!

AVITAL

SIMON

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

My husband and my brother-in-law went to sleepaway camp together for a few years starting when they were nine years old, and they were good friends. When my husband’s name came up in conversation, my sister told her husband, “You’re not getting any supper until you redt this shidduch.” So it was my sister who was actually shadchan. We were her first shidduch, and years later she actually became a professional shadchan

How old were you and your husband when you were engaged?

I was 22 when we got engaged. He was almost 24.

How long did it take from when the shidduch was suggested until the two of you met?

Things moved fairly quickly, probably a few days, max a week.

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

When I sent my kids to sleepaway camp, I always told them to be on their best behavior because you never know if your shidduch might come about through a friend in sleepaway camp!

DEVORAH GITTEL ABRAMOWITZ

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

Two of my aunts were sitting at shalosh seudos together. One aunt’s husband is a shoel u’meishiv in a yeshiva, and bochurim often come to her for Shabbos. She started talking about one bochur who’s so wonderful and needs a shidduch, and one of my other aunts said, “What about our very own niece?”

So my aunt was my shadchan, even though she kind of wasn’t so necessary since my family and my husband’s family already knew each other well — both are part of the same kehillah in Boro Park. It was funny that my aunt (who lives in Eretz Yisroel) was the one who had to make the shidduch

How old were you and your husband when you were engaged?

I was 18 and my husband was 21.

How long did it take from when the shidduch was suggested until the two of you met?

Oooh, a very long time. A couple of months for sure. The first time my mother-in-law went to look at me at a simcha, she thought my twelve-year-old sister was me and was pretty sure I didn’t look mature enough!

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

Probably what my father told me every time I got nervous. He said, “Havadai shemo, ken tehilaso.” If Hashem brought it this far, you can trust Him to take care of the rest.

CHAVA GINSBERG

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

My sister-in-law knew me from day camp, and we went to night seminary together, so she thought of it. My inlaws were friends of a relative of mine, so they asked her to redt it.

How old were you and your husband when you were engaged?

I was 20; my husband was almost 22

How long did it take from when the shidduch was suggested until the two of you met?

I don’t remember exactly, but I’d say about two weeks

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

We are in Hashem’s hands. I’ve seen it time and again. Want the right thing in your heart, don’t get carried away by trivialities or gaavah, and that will be a zechus for Hashem to guide you in the right direction.

ESTY SHORE

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

I come from a single-parent home and when my mother married my stepfather, who was from a different chassidus, I was very concerned about my shidduch. Interestingly, my stepfather’s sister (who’s not chassidish, but Litvish) made my shidduch How? My stepfather called her, because she’s a shadchan who helps people whose situations are a little more complex. I was already 23, and he was growing concerned. She works with the yeshivish community and knew no one from my circles, but she didn’t just say, “Sorry, I have no ideas.” She was extremely re-

sourceful and reached out to a mechutan of hers who knew people from my circles and asked him to put together a list of eligible bochurim. My husband was the third name on the list.

How long did it take from when the shidduch was suggested until the two of you met?

I think about two weeks.

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

Hashem runs the show. Don’t worry. And, of course, make the most of the time while you’re still single, b’gashmius u’b’ruchnius

RAIZY FRIEDMAN

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

Formally, my next-door neighbor is my mother-in-law’s first cousin. The long version of the story involves two neighboring bungalow colonies joined by a shared generator during a blackout. Conversation around that generator-turned-cell phone charger had the women from one colony find mutual acquaintances with women from the other colony. Sometimes informal chatting produces nice results, and in this case, my shidduch was one of them!

How old were you and your husband when you were engaged?

I was 19, and he was 18.

How long did it take from when the shidduch was suggested until the two of you met?

Two weeks.

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

Shidduchim are bashert... and good middos rank higher than everything else!

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CHAYA STEIN

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

I guess you could say: A suggested me to B who suggested me to C who called D. D pushed C to let me meet her son, even though she had hesitations and concerns. C’s son and I are thankfully very happily married, and C’s mother even likes me, baruch Hashem

How old were you and your husband when you were engaged?

I was 19 and my husband was 22.

How long did it take from when the shidduch was suggested until the two of you met?

About two weeks.

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

That shidduchim are not a natural thing and that it’s all the Ribono Shel Olam. The best hishtadlus is to daven and just trust.

How did your shidduch come about, and who was shadchan?

My mother’s cousin, who is a rookie shadchan, suggested it because she decided my husband looks like my family.

How old were you and your husband when you were engaged?

We were 19 and 21 when we got engaged. I turned 20 a week before my wedding.

What’s one thing you would tell your child in shidduchim?

Bitachon, bitachon, bitachon.

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“What does our G-d do all day?” asked the Roman noblewoman of Rabi Yosi ben Chalafta in the famous tale cited in Gemara. What was his response? “Hashem spends the day matchmaking.”

As a society, we are very familiar with the shidduch scene. The noblewoman’s attempt to match up her household staff in this story is preposterous; we know that making shidduchim is as difficult as splitting the sea. Do we know, however, what it means to dive into those choppy waters time and again to lead singles and their parents to the joy on the other side?

Join a candid conversation with shadchan and shidduch coach Simi Dorfman*, who braves the depths of this particular sea every single day.

Diving In

The world of shidduchim is well-compared to the endless depths of the sea. When I ask Simi what prompted her to take the dive, she rewinds six years to the time when her son’s close friend and chavrusa passed away suddenly. The families were close, and the tragedy hit hard. At her son’s urging, Simi found herself searching for a way to perpetuate the precious bochur’s memory.

“My son suggested a simcha gemach because his friend had been the happiest and most helpful kid around. I enjoy party-planning, but I was not in the mood to reorganize my stock and set up my basement for customers. I was literally sitting and davening for inspiration when my phone rang. It was a local shidduch organization that wanted my help in planning their fundraiser. This, right after I begged Hashem for an idea.”

When Simi heard that the shidduch office was short on shadchanim, it clicked for her, because what bigger source of simcha is there? She asked that her work for the office be l’ilui nishmas her son’s chaver, and with much siyata d’Shmaya, she

Simi says. “These are the doros he’s leaving.”

At the event that started it all, Simi asked the organizer how one goes about becoming a shadchan. “Don’t you have to be something to be a shadchan?” she wanted to know.

“The woman quite literally started laughing in my face,” Simi remembers. “Baruch Hashem, we’re now many shidduchim later…

“A quiet person will claim they don’t know people. But boy, do they know people!”

These days, Simi uses the shidduch office to network and conduct shidduch meetings, while also working independently. She’s gotten to know different kinds of shidduchim needs, and handles the gamut from “bein hazmanim shidduchim” to the more sensitive categories of second marriages, older singles and shidduchim involving individuals with medical conditions. The category of medical conditions itself is divided into physical, emotional and mental health issues.

For Simi, meeting the person she’s redting the shidduch for is paramount in order to be invested. With sensitive shidduchim, she’ll meet the young man or woman, even traveling to meet them if necessary. For more standard matches, which are commonly initiated by people who know her, Simi will conduct her due diligence until she feels she’s gotten to know the young person in question. If not, she’ll meet with them.

Network, Network, Network

Like “location, location, location” in real estate, for a shadchan, it’s all about knowing people. Simi is very firm about this: Everyone knows people.

“A quiet person will claim they don’t know people. But boy, do they know people! If they can put it down on pen and paper in categories of family members, neighbors, workmates, classmates, grocery-mates and in-laws, they’ll see that there are names and names they can think of.”

Sleeping on the Job

Simi’s networking consists of her own think-tank and the shidduch office’s resources. Sometimes an idea will pop into her head as she speaks to parents; other times, she’ll reach out to the office without mentioning a name.

With sensitive shidduchim, she relies more on the office network, because they get new names from around the world every day.

By now Simi has compiled a robust network and maintains that anyone can do it too.

“Getting yeshiva and school graduate lists is a phone call away. It’s not easy being a shadchan, but it’s easy to access the necessary information in order to try.”

Heart at Work

For shadchanim as well as parents, hishtadlus is an illusion, since everything is orchestrated from Above.

“However,” Simi adds, “a shadchan is not only about ‘getting things back on track,’ but allowing people to express their emotions.”

Crisis control is where Simi’s role makes the leap from phone support to comforting presence. There were times when she was needed in the wee hours to deescalate situations that had turned devastating, or just to hold a girl’s hand.

“I once was involved in a shidduch that was moving along swimmingly, until a piece of information came up that sent everything off the rails. It was up to me to break the news to the young lady and let her cry freely. It was extremely difficult. Eventually, it turned out that the information wasn’t true, and I had to tell the girl that the shidduch was thank-

Simi says she works on shidduch suggestions from when her kids leave in the morning until around 2:30 in the afternoon. But when there’s an active shidduch on the table, in her words, “I’m a 911 line, 24 hours a day.”

But there was one time where she slept on the job.

shidduch going on where I was warned not to push because the boy and girl would need several beshows,” Simi says. “The first meeting was set for the evening. Since nothing was supposed to happen yet, I went to bed. I woke up later to fifteen or twenty missed calls from both sides, and I couldn’t even call them back because it was 3:00 a.m.! I waited until morning and called one side back. The woman answered and whispered, “We just went to sleep, mazel tov mazel tov !” ?” I asked.

As it turned out, the would-be couple had insisted that they were all good and didn’t need another beshow, and the two sides went ahead and finalized the shidduch without the shadchan!

fully back on, without telling her the details. It was such a painful episode that I had to take a vacation afterward.”

Simi says she often asks Hashem to give her a shidduch like candy — something quick, easy and pleasant. And every now and then, He gives her one.

She once tried redting shidduchim for a certain young man, and it just wasn’t working, so much so that she put his name aside and thought that maybe she was just not his basherte shadchan. Lo and behold, the name of his bashert was right next to his on Simi’s data list.

“It was right there, waiting for the idea to occur to me! It took a mere snap, and they are the happiest couple now, baruch Hashem.”

Still, most shidduchim do take a little more effort than that.

“I’ve done a shidduch for a 40-year-old single after working with him for five years. I’ve also had a girl and boy meet and say no to each other, and then each time I suggested other ideas for them, they inquired if the other was engaged yet. After six rounds of this I said, ‘I’m not giving you any more ideas; it’s time to meet again!’ They are the sweetest couple today, and have a baby already as well.”

For a shadchan, that’s the greatest nachas

“The best part of being a

“The best part of being a shadchan is the immense feeling of closing a shidduch”

Resumes: Nefarious or Necessary?

For Simi, this is a no-brainer because she’s a fan.

“I think resumes are the biggest convenience. It’s a great way of having all your information about a particular someone in one place, without having to chase the tissue box you scribbled on. A shadchan can even help parents create a resume on the phone. Resumes don’t give you an accurate picture of the person in question, but they do give you all the facts you need to do further research.”

shadchan is the immense feeling of closing a shidduch,” Simi says. “But even when a shidduch doesn’t reach its joyous conclusion, it’s wonderful when people remember to say thank you. Shadchanim put their heart and soul into shidduchim, very often without any recognition, and it’s so rewarding when people take notice of our work and call ‘just to say thank you for what you’re doing.’”

You Were Redt Whom?!

Humans crave social interaction, but according to Simi, it’s best to temper that in shidduchim

“The more people you ask, the more confused you’ll get. Assign two trusted people as your information-bringers, and remember that the decision isn’t theirs to make.”

You’ll have girls being redt and mothers turning to their teens who know them from school and nixing the shidduch just like that.

“I once redt a shidduch to a woman who responded, ‘Oh, my daughter said I shouldn’t even go there.’ Really?” demands Simi. “Based on your daughter’s say-so? Please use your own filters when sorting through information!”

Then there are people from large families who call up every sibling to chew over any shidduch that has been redt. Simi cautions mothers to limit the pool of people involved and ask for help gathering information, not opinions.

“I once suggested a shidduch for an

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older single man only to have it bad-mouthed by one of his relatives, notwithstanding that the last interactions she’d had with the single woman in question was twenty years earlier, in high school. I knew the woman in the present, how she’d grown and what she’d achieved. I don’t think it was right for her to pass judgment like that.”

Simi tells aspiring shadchanim not to worry. “The feeling you get when speaking with appreciative parents is worth a lot more than the negative feedback”

Simi mentions one of the worst reactions to shadchanus calls. She calls someone to suggest a shidduch only to receive in response, “How’d you get my number?”

“I wish people would understand the courage it takes to dial a number,” Simi says, “and the amount of thought that goes into an opening line. When you nix my idea so quickly, do you know I spent 25 minutes of my morning davening for this? It’s hard when people don’t call me back, don’t give my suggestion a second thought, or worse yet, badmouth it. Please understand that I took the time and thought of you.”

However, Simi tells aspiring shadchanim not to worry.

“The feeling you get when speaking with appreciative parents is worth a lot more than the negative feedback. Kind words from parents give us fuel, and these people should know that they have a special cheilek in our work.”

Battling Burnout

If it’s passion that fuels this part-occupation part-calling, it’s logical that bad experiences can extinguish the flame. Simi’s sigh is all the affirmation I need.

Coached to Clarity

“Burnout is very hard. Sometimes it’s so devastating that it takes weeks to get back up and into it again.”

Burnout can hit shadchanim when their ideas just don’t work. Simi knows people who’ve been trying for years and haven’t been zoche to complete a single shidduch yet, but the idealism that got them on the job is what they need to keep the fire burning.

“I always tell these people that their phone call helped make a shidduch happen; as we know, each phone call brings the right one closer.”

Furthermore, as anyone with a child in shidduchim can attest,

I’m intrigued by the coaching part of being a shadchan. It turns out that it’s not only the young people on the cusp of marriage who can use an open ear and helping hand. When parents are stuck in a challenging situation or just need guidance, Simi is there to help them through it. She’s also there to help process beshows and warm cold feet with her signature mix of vivacity and nurture.

“The world of shidduchim can be brutal, and parents are scared. There was one woman who reached out to me because her son was on the market for over two years, and she hadn’t yet received even one phone call. With her daughter’s shidduchim a year before, she’d taken her phone off the hook for an hour a day to have some menucha!”

Now that the variables were so different, this mother needed help to navigate, and Simi was glad to help.

just a phone call can be an oasis in a desert. There’s a story about one of the Lelover Rebbes who asked his talmid to suggest a shidduch on Erev Pesach. The shidduch was ultimately not tzugepast, and the talmid wondered what had been so urgent about the matter that he had to deal with it on such a hectic day. After Pesach, the father told the shadchan that his idea wouldn’t work, “but you have no idea what a simchas Yom Tov we had, just because you suggested it!”

Then there can be the difficulty of dissolved dreams.

“The hardest thing is when a marriage doesn’t last, and you have been the shadchan But fellow shadchanim, know this: The zechus is still yours, and it’s up there waiting for you. Halevai people should know this and not allow the guilt to override it, because it has nothing to do with the shadchan. Unfortunately, I know some shadchanim who left the field because of it, and it’s a loss.”

Attention, Parents!

Simi wishes all parents would know the following: Look for a shidduch for your child.

Don’t be afraid of a name because of vague past associations.

Make sure that what you prioritize are priorities for life. It’s not up to you to pass judgment on a photo; beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Do judge middos, yiras Shamayim and health. The rest are bonuses.

Make your checklist of priorities, and if four check off right, you’ve done your hishtadlus

Simi adds one more: “I wish parents would be honest about major challenges their child may have gone through. There were times when I had to take the heat for something I didn’t know about — because the parents withheld it. Sometimes they say they were following daas Torah, but I’ve consulted daas Torah myself and was told this: ‘One way or the other, the truth will come back to bite.’ Be it medical, emotional, mental or physical, please do not lie or withhold information. Voicing the truth will bring the right shidduch for your child. Avoiding disclosure will bring heartache.”

Splitting the Sea Once Again

Unsurprisingly, second-time shidduchim are a slower current in the sea of matchmaking.

On Simi’s part, there’s a lot more homework because there are so many corners to cover. Were kids involved? How messy was the situation?

“Also, second-timers have been bitten. They need so much more sensitivity. You need to daven before you call and ask that you not hurt anyone. And you need to listen. You get so much more information from listening than from asking questions.”

“But fellow shadchanim, know this: The zechus is still yours, and it’s up there waiting for you. Halevai people should know this”

Second-time shidduchim also call for direct contact with the singles, who need a confident shadchan “They’ve had their parents as their backbone the first time around, but whom will they trust now?” Simi works on creating that relationship. “You have to be honest, bring them the information they need, and then give them space. Don’t push — that’s not even in the vocabulary of shidduchim! Read between the lines to know what they really want, and know that the second time around, things aren’t going anywhere before a few months, at least.”

Leveling the Playing Field

Mothers of chassidishe boys know that it’s a brutal world for the male contingency. With 40 boys for every girl and the expectations of the average “good” bochur high, Simi asks parents of girls to be realistic and not expect their daughters to marry up just because of their female advantage.

“I’ve had parents of girls with medical conditions tell me, ‘We’re not listening to suggestions of boys with medical issues.’ But you can’t say that no one will ever know there’s an issue; the husband will have to deal with it! You don’t want to marry her off to a clueless bochur

“You have to be honest, bring them the information they need, and then give them space. Don’t push”

who will not be ready to deal with and understand the ups and downs of her medical condition.”

But regardless of the individual situation, for shadchanim and parents alike, the best way to navigate the sea of shidduchim is with a judicious hand at the helm, feet that are realistically on the ground and a torch of hope held high.

Dos and Don’ts for Aspiring Shadchanim

Don’t be afraid. Tear off the proverbial Band-Aid quickly and get used to making phone call after uncomfortable phone call.

Start conversations with parents of children in shidduchim by introducing yourself and asking about the individual in shidduchim, and only then suggest the shidduch — if it fits. This gives you the advantage of building a relationship with the parents and seeing if your idea makes sense before suggesting it.

Follow up! Give parents at least two days of space, and then check in. The follow-up phone call is even harder than the first one, with the hopes and adrenaline you’ve built up, but it’s what keeps things moving.

Never feel like you own a name. A shidduch is bashert and so is the shadchan. Network and be generous because we’re all doing Hashem’s work.

CASIO FROM CALCULATORS TO CONCERTS

Casio was launched in Japan in 1946, quietly revolutionizing everyday tech. Their first big break came in 1957 with the world’s first compact all-electric calculator — the kind that somehow outlasted students’ entire high school career. Soon after, Casio keyboards became just as iconic. With built-in rhythms and reliable sound, they quickly turned into a staple at bar mitzvahs, sheva brachos and dance floors everywhere.

G-SHOCK AND AWE

In 1983, Casio’s G-Shock watches hit the market, built to survive a fall from a third-floor window. The idea came from a Casio engineer who broke a sentimental watch and vowed to invent one that wouldn’t crack under pressure. After 200 failed prototypes — and inspiration from a kid’s rubber ball — he designed a shock-resistant casing that made the GShock nearly indestructible. It became a global hit with construction workers, special forces and astronauts.

FUN FACT

In 1980, Casio launched a talking watch — one that announced the time out loud. This cutting-edge tech was marketed as a game-changer for the visually impaired.

LOGO

Casio’s logo is all business — bold, blue and unapologetically simple. It reflects the brand’s no-nonsense approach to innovation: practical, durable and built to work. Whether it’s a calculator or a keyboard, the name alone says, “Trust me — I’ve got this.”

Est. 2005

STREET VIEW

What’s

your fastest selling item?

Satin beketches and simple black pants are staples for all of our customers. Beyond that, it depends on location. In Williamsburg, wool suits fly off the shelves — many bochurim wear them on Shabbos. In Monsey, it’s all about our lightweight, unlined suits, which have become incredibly popular.

Can you share something that will surprise our readers?

Due to high demand, we’ve expanded our line of unlined garments. We now carry everything from unlined suits to beketches. “Unlined” doesn’t mean no lining at all; it just means we skip the stiff white fabric inside, making the garments more breathable and comfortable. Another bonus is that they’re machine washable on a delicate cold cycle and can be hung to dry. (Lined garments, on the other hand, require dry cleaning to keep their shape.)

Can you share a story about a memorable customer?

One Erev Pesach, during the hectic pre-Yom Tov rush, a customer came in looking for a specific item. They quickly found what they needed and asked when the alterations would be ready. I explained that due to the busy season, it would take about a week. The customer looked panicked. “We need it for tomorrow! Our son just came home from yeshiva for a shidduch, and the beshow is tomorrow!” Of course, I promised we’d have it ready by the middle of the next day.

The next day, the bochur and his parents arrived, but in the Pesach rush, the wrong garment had been prioritized. I ran with the correct one to our tailors, who dropped everything and completed the job in 30 minutes flat. The family dashed out, suit in hand, just in time for the beshow.

A few months later, someone came up to me and said, “You helped make a shidduch.” It turns out the bochur had arrived at the beshow with the garment bag, smiled and calmly asked for a few minutes to change. The girl and her family were so impressed with his composure that the rest is history!

What’s something you can’t live without?

Good employees — without them, nothing moves. Our cashiers are polite and knowledgeable. Our salespeople understand a customer’s needs and how to respectfully offer their professional opinion. And of course, we can’t do without our loyal customers.

OVERVIEW

23 AV YAHRTZEIT OF THE STEIPLER GAON (1899–1985)

Rav Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, zt”l, was one of the towering gedolim of the 20th century. Renowned for his brilliance in Torah, his unshakable yiras Shamayim, and his dedication to halacha, he became a beacon of daas Torah for generations of bnei Torah across the world.

Rav Yaakov Yisrael was born in 1899 in Hornesteipel, Ukraine, the long-awaited son of Rav Chaim Peretz, a talmid chacham and shochet, after a bracha from the Hornesteipler Rebbe. After learning with his father, he was sent at age ten to continue his studies in Kremenchug, and at age eleven, he joined the Novardok yeshi-

va network, absorbing the fiery mussar and hasmadah of the Alter of Novardok.

At nineteen years of age, the Steipler (short for “from Hornesteipel”) led a Novardok branch in Rogatchov and was later drafted into the Russian army. His unwavering commitment to mitzvos during those years became legendary. After being released, he attempted to escape the Soviet Union multiple times. One escape attempt ended in his arrest. During another attempt, he stopped to daven Mincha with proper kavanah and lost his group, only to miraculously find himself across the border in Slutzk, Poland.

The Steipler Gaon married the sister of the Chazon Ish, and in 1934, they settled in Bnei Brak, where he became a giant in Torah — learning constantly, writing seforim, and guiding Klal Yisroel from his modest home. Until today, his sefer Kehillas Yaakov is known by Yidden everywhere.

BOGGLE TOURNAMENT

HOW TO PLAY:

1. Gather round the table to play a family game of Boggle, using this Boggle board.

2. Once you have a winner, fill out the form below in its entirety

3. Email the form to comments@ thewview.com or fax to 718-2478881 by Sunday at midnight.

4. Two winners will be drawn each week, each of whom will receive by mail a $10 gift card at Sprinkles!

PLAYING RULES:

Find words on the board containing four letters or more. Letters of a word must be connected in a chain (each letter should be adjacent to the next either vertically, horizontally or diagonally), and each letter can only be used once in a given word. The following are not allowed in Boggle: Adding “s” to a word • Proper nouns • Abbreviations • Contractions • Acronyms

POINTS

4-letter words: 2 points | 5-letter words: 3 points | 6-letter words: 5 points | 7-letter words: 7 points | 8-letter words: 9 points | 9+ letters: 12 points

HINT

Each Boggle board hides a word of nine letters or more!

R S P O N A H L I A

A B G A K C M O T S

L I K N N

Family name: ___________________________________________________________________ Phone: ___________________________________________________________________________

Full mailing address: _________________________________________________________

Full name of winner: _________________________________________________________

Amount of points: ____________________________________________________________

Full names of competing players:

List some words only the winner found:

Elky

Eizokovits, 12, Satmar

Yosef

Rosenberger, 10, Pupa

Chayala

Shwartz, 5, Skvere

Malky Weinberger, 10, Viznitz

CLASSIFIEDS

FOR SALE

DOONA CAR SEAT BASE

Brand new, never used. Price $125. Please call: 929.214.7721

PORTA CRIB

20” porta crib 347-622-1320

REAL ESTATE

BLUEBERRY HILL CONDO FOR RENT IN MONSEY

Legal 2-bedroom duplex, 2 bathrooms, tons of closets, master WIC, kosher kitchen, brand-new washer/dryer. $3K/mo. Text 845-422-5596.

WEST PALM BEACH FLORIDA

APT. FOR SALE Century Village-Golf Edge. 1 ½ bedroom apt. 2 baths, Brand new appliances, Ready to move in now. Price $200K or best offer. Call: 845.325.0500

NORTH MIAMI

VACATION RENTAL

Beautiful, modern 4 Bdrm

3 Bthrm house for rent. Private Heated pool with spa. Pergola and covered dining area in backyard. Quiet, private neighborhood. For more info, please call or text 646-926-1260

HOUSE RENTAL

SUMMER MONSEY

5 Br beautiful house avail for rent this summer ch ridge next to park and shul w mikveh huge deck w awning swing set av. Nxt 2 weeks.Text 516-318-1015

WEST

PALM BEACH FLORIDA

For the best Real Estate deals, contact Mrs. Debby Schwartz 203.667.2785

MIAMI BEACH FLORIDA

Carriage Club North, Beautiful 2 bedroom, 2 bath, Ground floor. Call: 347.499.0031

MIAMI BEACH FLORIDA

Collins Ave. Beautiful ocean view. 1 bedroom apt. Call: 347.760.0570

NORTH MIAMI

A beautiful 3 bedrooms, 3 bath villa in North Miami, with private inground heated pool & spa. Price/night $289. Pictures available. 845.327.7153

VACATION RENTAL

Gorgeous 3/5 bdrm, 2/3 bath villa avail. in Mountaindale, near Shuls. Price/night $350. (Pics avail.) 845.327.7153

MONSEY HOUSE RENTAL

Big 4 bedroom house in Monsey available weekly & weekends for August. Quiet scenic street. Pool access. 10 beds. Linen & towels. 845521-2029 no text

VACATION RENTAL

Brand new luxurious 5 Bedroom house, available for weekends or for the week. Linen and towels included. Call/text 347-232-3481.

WEEKEND RENTAL

House available in Jackson, NJ for weekend rentals. Very close to Lakewood. Right near restaurants and shopping. Pool. Min walk to shul. Call or text 7187348112.

VACATION IN LINDEN WEEKENDS

Brand new 3 bedroom basement. Living area and kitchen. Private backyard with inground heated pool. Available for Rosh Hashana & Sukkos. Call/text 929-5920368

BUNGALOW RENTAL IN MONTICELLO

3 Bedroom bungalow available last week of summer. Near Dushinsky and many minyanim. Call 848-448-4735

LINDEN VACATION

Exlusive brand new fully furnished house, heated inground pool & all amenities incl, sleeps 9 plus a crib 8 min walk to shul. Call/Text to reserve: 601- 675-2665 Crownprincevilla@gmail.com

WEST PALM BEACH FLORIDA

Century Village, Willington M, 2 Bedroom apt. Ground floor FOR SALE. Call: 347.760.0639

NORTH MIAMI FL RENTAL

2-bedroom, 2-baths with private heated pool and spa. Summer Price $300 per night. Call/Text: 917-382-4810, email: 1752nmb@gmail.com www.themangotreat.com

HOTEL 15

Big villa in serene area outside Monroe. 8 couple bedrooms, Teen bedroom 8 beds plus 20 kids beds. For Pictures hotelfifteen.com Call to book 845-837-5662

HELP WANTED

PARAS

The Hamaspik School is looking for full/part time paras. Please call 718-4085444 ext. 5245

CLASSIFIEDS

TEACHER POSITION

The Hamaspik School is seeking a teacher for a class for children with special needs. License required, great pay. Please call 718-4085444 ext. 5230

PART TIME EARLY HEAD START TEACHER

Seeking an experienced and warm individual for a twoyear old classroom teacher starting in September 2025. College credits & BA a plus. Email: Hhalberstam@yeled. org Call: 718.514.8968 or 917.940.2310

WORK FROM HOME

Great opportunity to manage your own business from home. No experience needed, no computer necessary. Huge potential to grow big. Call: 438.529.1216

PERMANENT SUBS

The Hamaspik School is looking for permanent subs for the upcoming school year. Please call 718-408-5444 ext. 5301

SEIT P3

Excellent SEIT P3 opening in Williamsburg full time,

WORK FROM HOME

Let your extra time bring you some extra cash. You’ll absolutely enjoy it and feel fulfilled! For more about this wonderful business and how it works Call 929-318-7969 or text signup to 347-525-7071 to get you started! Hatzlucha!

EXPERIENCED SALESPERSON

For Electrical & lighting supplies co. No car necessary, commission only. Top $$ paid, male or female, work from home, partnership opportunities available. Call: 212.662.1300

PART-TIME - $100K+

Hiring experienced recruiters! With a clear path to earn $100k+ while working part-time. in-office only. Email resume to TopCareerNY@gmail.com

SERVICES

LIGHT ALTERATIONS

Please Call: 718.450.4700

GARTLECH

We fix knitted & crochet Gartlech & make beautiful

TAILORING AND ALTERATIONS SERVICES

Sewing designer gowns for young married sis of bride, post high school girls. Your Tailor will come to you, for Bridal, Hems, Suits, highest quality personalized tailoring experience from start to finish. Fitting & delivery free. Rush Alterations, garment repair services . Great, reasonable prices. Call for appointment 347-754-1413.

MAKEUP ARTIST

Certified makeup artist for all your special occasions. Call: Yides Neuwirth 917.309.6000 718.858.0815

FURNITURE REPAIRS

Cabinet & General Repairs, specializing in ChosonKallah Apt. Call: 718.633.6231

AYIN HORAH

The renowned Rebetzin Aidel Miller from Yerushalayim Is always available to remove Ayin Horah over the phone. Call: 718.689.1902 or 516.300.1490

GARTLECH

Beautiful HANDMADE

GARTLECH, Hand crochet, Hand knit, Silks & more with

CONSTRUCTION

Bathrooms, kitchens, closets, decks, extensions, additions, Basements, all electrical, plumbing, Carpentry. Lowest prices, fastest service. Call:718.951.0090

ELECTRICIAN

All Electrical work, outlets, switches, fixtures, new lines for washer/dryer or air conditions, shabbos clocks, circut breakers. Call:718.951.0090

HANDYMAN & PAINTING

Experienced & Reliable handyman. Small jobs our specialty! Plumbing, Electric, construction, Locksmith, painting, plastering. Shabbos clocks, outlets/switches, call: 347.275.5408

REMOVE EYIN HORA

A baby, a simcha, a new lease in town? Call Ayin BeAyin so things dont chalila go down! Call Today 718-400-AYIN (2946) www.ayinbeayin. com

KITCHEN

Kitchen cabinet hinges, tracks, drawer boxes,

CLASSIFIEDS

VAN FOR RENT

Refrigerated van for rent daily or weekly with or without a driver. Call or Text: Eli 516.270.6755

NEW WEBSITE?

Get your new beautiful website done hassle free! Affordable pricing! Satisfaction guaranteed! Email: sales@ stratadigitalgroup.com

CUSTOM PHOTO ALBUMS

Specializing in Custom Photo Albums, Chosson, Wedding, etc. Also professional Photo Editing, many years of experience. Special rate for photographers. Photo Dreams 347.563.5153

WOOD REPAIR

Professional transformation to ur kitchen cabinets thru design & color chg. Also revamp, repair estate furn, drm chairs, bdrms, libraries, & ext wood doors. Best price, svc & decorators consult txt or call 212-991-8548.

PHOTO EDITING

Professional photo editing, many years of experience. Special rates for photographers. Also specializing in Custom photo albums Chosson, wedding, etc. Photo Dreams 347.563.5153

WHOLESALE FISH

Buy by the case & save. Baby & Regular Salmon. Hashgucha Volove Rav. Free delivery to your home. Call Eli: 516.270.6755

WHOLESALE SPOTLIGHTS

We sell Spotlights, twice as bright for half the price. We also sell Smoke & Carbon Monoxide detectors with 10 year battery suitable for Section 8. Free Delivery. Call: 718.951.0061

VAN SERVICE

Yossi`s Van Service, 15 Passenger van, Local & long distance, Airports & delivery. Call: 718.962.4664

THE CRACKER DIET Since 2004. $200 includes 2 months follow up. 732.886.0954 We accept credit cards.

Breastpump Gemach 718-

CLASSIFIEDS

Twin carriage 718-522-3891

GOWNS

GOWNS

Introducing for the first time in Williamsburg! New designer gowns & brand name Simcha wear at great prices. We are also offering designer fashion & timeless pieces that redefine elegance, in our beautiful luxurios salon located conveniently on Kent Ave. Ready sis of bride & groom & Mechitaniste gown for fabulous prices. Please join us & elevate your style. For an appointment 347-7018061

LOST

Yellow gold kiddishin ring 718-594-9945

Diamond earrings 347-9625223

Gold bracelet/bangle before Shavuos 347-962-5223

FOUND

A gemara kiddushin with name yaakov hillel meyer was found in yankys car service 3476044303

Scooter 347-661-7654

Micro SD on wallabout 718689-3470

Someone gave over Qin phone on Willi/BP Bus Aug 8, 929-944-7204

FREE GIVEAWAY

TOP OF HIGHRISER

without mattress and box spring with frame 347-7863340 Shabbos gilyonis & Der

BROCHOS CARDS for Moshiach’s arrival at moshiachbrochoscards@ gmail.com. Endorsed by Gedolei Yisroel

CLEP & REGENT BOOKS 718-387-1068

The Torah Event of the Year

ל+ז מ++ תכרב בּוט+

Bugaboo Dragonfly

Bugaboo Donkey Bugaboo Kangaroo

Bugaboo Fox

רעראמטאס" א א זיא "תיבה לעב רעמ ליפ ףירגאב רעמוטנגייא

Serenity Unlock

AT THE

Sun-drenched days, ocean breezes, and space to truly slow down — The Altair is where serenity lives. From beachside lounging to airy, peaceful suites, every detail is designed to help you reset. Whether you're savoring stillness or escaping with friends, this is your key to a calmer kind of summer.

Onsite Features

Beis Medrash • Shul • Shabbos and Yom Tov Amenities

Kosher Dining and Room Service • Watersports • Roo op Pool

Separate Swimming • Kosher Cabana Service  • Waterfront Gym

TheAlt air Hot el .c om

PUBLISHER Yoel Itzkowitz

COO Shaya Teitelbaum

EDITOR IN CHIEF Esther Malky Neiman

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Zivi Reischer

MANAGING EDITOR Libby Tescher

FOOD EDITOR

M.P. Wercberger

CREATIVE DIRECTOR AJ Wachsman

PROJECT COORDINATOR R. Itzkowitz

320 Roebling Street, Suite 119 Brooklyn, NY 11211

TELEPHONE: 718.428.2400

FAX: 718.247.8881

E-MAIL: ads@thewview.com

WEBSITE: www.thewview.com