How, When, and What
To Tell Your Child about the Diagnosis of Autism BY TRACI L. JORDAN, PSY.D., L.S.S.P.
Children look to parents for strength and knowledge, and we strive to help our children cope with whatever life throws at them. That includes giving children the support and information they need by introducing critical topics as they grow and mature. When a child is diagnosed with autism, having ageappropriate information about their diagnosis may help them understand an essential aspect of their role in the world. You may worry that learning about a developmental diagnosis may cause them anxiety or self-doubt. You may be unsure about your child's ability to understand their diagnosis, especially if their language is still emerging or they are preverbal. Maybe you have just learned about their diagnosis and are in the early stages of educating yourself about autism spectrum disorder. Wherever your level of knowledge about neurodiversity, you are always the expert of your child. In making decisions about how, when, and what to tell a child about an autism diagnosis, trust your instincts! You can be sure children develop ideas about events in their lives, such as doctor and therapy appointments. A Place Where You Fit | Winter 2022
Talking directly about their autism diagnosis allows you to encourage questions about these events and ensures your child is learning from the most significant people in their lives. Perhaps the most crucial reason for generating discussions about autism spectrum disorder is to focus on strengths related to this diagnosis. We all need to establish a positive view of our individuality. There are times when all of us struggle to fit in and other times when we embrace our uniqueness. Therefore, cultivate a positive attitude about differences; emphasize that your family is not afraid to cherish differences. Preschoolers tend to focus on concrete, physical differences, such as height, so start with simple examples of family differences. As children grow, their awareness of individual differences tends to center on preferences; "you like football, your brother prefers swimming." By the time children are teens, a need to affiliate with others may come to the forefront. You might point out shared values family members embrace (e.g., honesty), as well as what makes each family member special (interests and appearance).
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