M AY
2
IRON MAN GENRE: Introductory Blockbuster TALENT: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: A weapons maker builds himself a super powered metal suit, which he uses to escape terrorists and battle super villains. KNOWN ENEMIES: Spider-Man, Batman PREDICTION: As the first Marvel movie of the summer, the last big character to get a movie, and super awesome actors playing it for real, this is a sure thing.
MADE OF HONOR 01 GENRE: Counter Programming TALENT: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan, Kevin McKidd ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: A ladies man (Dempsey) agrees to be his platonic friend’s (Monaghan) male maid of honor, only to realize he’s had feelings for her all along. KNOWN ENEMIES: Every teen movie from the ’80s. PREDICTION: Enjoys spectacular DVD sales after Iron Man trounces it at the box office.
M AY
9
SPEED RACER 02 GENRE: Green Screen Movie TALENT: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, Matthew Fox ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: The Wachowski Brothers turn the crude old anime cartoon into a multicolored
vision of futuristic auto racing. KNOWN ENEMIES: 300, Sin City PREDICTION: Nobody’s forgiven them for The Matrix Revolutions yet, so don’t count on a lot of love for this expensive art project.
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS 03 GENRE: Yet Another Date Movie TALENT: Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Rob Corddry ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: After a drunken Vegas wedding, two mismatched lovers try to push each other into a divorce to forfeit the other’s share of their joint $3 million slot winnings. KNOWN ENEMIES: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Green Card PREDICTION: Diaz relies on her toothy smile and perky personality, while Kutcher chews the scenery.
M AY
16
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN 04 GENRE: Out of Order Sequel TALENT: Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, William Moseley ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: The fourth Narnia book is being made second to ensure that the actors don’t outgrow the movies. KNOWN ENEMIES: Harry Potter, The Golden Compass PREDICTION: Until they make The Hobbit, the Narnia chronicles are the only legitimate fantasy classics being adapted, so they’ve cornered the market.
M AY
23
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL 05 GENRE: Long Overdue Sequel TALENT: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf (plus director Steven Spielberg and writer George Lucas) ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: Indiana Jones reunites with his old flame and a new youngster to seek out the latest mythological treasure. KNOWN ENEMIES: Live Free or Die Hard, Rocky Balboa PREDICTION: It will be worth the wait. It just will. Spielberg doesn’t make sequels for the money. Ford does, but not Spielberg.
M AY
30
SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE 06 GENRE: Made-From-TV Movie TALENT: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Chris Noth ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte talk about their relationships and sexual escapades on the big screen. KNOWN ENEMIES: The Simpsons Movie, The X-Files PREDICTION: It will be huge. Abso-F***ing-lutely huge.
JUNE
6
YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN07 GENRE: SNL Sketch TALENT: Adam Sandler, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Rob Schneider ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: A Mossad agent moves to New York City to become a hairdresser… yes, really. KNOWN ENEMIES: Little Nicky, Bulletproof PREDICTION: Sure to be the best Israeli secret-agent-turned-hair-stylist movie of all time.
KUNG FU PANDA 08 GENRE: Celebrity Cartoon TALENT: Voices of Jack Black, Ian McShane, Angelina Jolie ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: A panda bear learns kung fu in order to defend his village. KNOWN ENEMIES: Sharktale, Madagascar PREDICTION: Seeing Jack Black actually do kung fu would be funnier, but these Dreamworks star-studded cartoons always please the kids.
JUNE
13
THE INCREDIBLE HULK 10 GENRE: Made-from-Comic-Book Movie TALENT: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: To make up for the Ang Lee version, they’ve restarted the story of Bruce Banner/ The Hulk in a more action-packed movie. KNOWN ENEMIES: Batman Begins, Superman Returns PREDICTION: Hulk smash Ang Lee!
JUNE
20
GET SMART 11 GENRE: Retro TV Remake TALENT: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: Bumbling ’60s spy Maxwell Smart (Carell) enters a new generation for fans of The Office and The Devil Wears Prada. KNOWN ENEMIES: The Brady Bunch Movie, Starsky & Hutch PREDICTION: Steve Carell in a suit is always funny (The Daily Show, Anchorman), but he’s no Don Adams.
THE HAPPENING 09 KIT KITTRIDGE: AN GENRE: M. Night Shyamalan Thriller AMERICAN GIRL TALENT: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: A family deals with a planet-wide natural disaster. KNOWN ENEMIES: Lady in the Water, The Village PREDICTION: The entire plot will hinge on a vital character played by none other than M. Night himself.
GENRE: Feature Length Toy Commercial TALENT: Abigail Breslin, Stanley Tucci, Joan Cusack ONE SENTENCE SUMMARY: Based on the line of dolls, a Depression-era girl (Breslin) tries to publish a story in a Cincinnati newspaper. KNOWN ENEMIES: My Super Sweet
THEWAVEMAG.COM MAY 5-18, 2008
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