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Viewpoints VIEWPOINTS
October 20, 2011
page 32
True communication spans far beyond spoken word Jasmine Tidwell
viewpoints editor J.Tidwell@eaglemail.ceu.edu
Something that is essential for any relationship to work is trust. If you don’t have trust, you do not have a good relationship. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships,” writes Stephen R. Covey. However trust is earned, not given freely, most people forget that. Trust is also hard to get back once it has been lost. “Trust keeps us in a positive mental framework. When you trust each other you feel self-confident. The feeling of believing others is electrifying. It not only provides sense of security, but provides new zeal to fight the vagaries of life. Trusting each other gives a sense of deep bonding,” writes SanJay in Importance of Trust in Relationships.
Also remember while communicating; a relationship is like a telephone call when it comes to communicating. If you are the only one talking then the conversation is dull and it does not go anywhere then eventually ends. “Real communication isn’t explaining your entire day to someone, because frankly, 99 percent of the time, your days aren’t that interesting. True communication spans far beyond spoken words. It’s verbal and mental, as well as even physical,” writes Prior Aphter. You and the person you are dating are both receivers and senders of information about your relationship. So it is important that you send and receive information correctly. Just because you sent a message to your partner, does not mean they received the same message you sent. In every relationship the lines of communication break away at this point. A guy may say to a female, “I really like you,” but the message the girl gets is “I love you, I want to marry you and live in a big house with a white picket fence.” So maybe that is not always
the case, but it can happen. It can also go in reverse. Have you ever told a guy you were not interested, but he took that to mean you were not interested in talking to him in the daytime so he pestered you all night with senseless texts. “Communication is definitely not a one-way street. The “phone-lines” must run both ways. You could sit your partner down and talk to him/her all day long about how you feel, and about where you think this relationship is going. But if you don’t listen, then all your words are meaningless because they know you aren’t willing to listen to them and you will not hear them out because you are too involved with yourself to allow anyone else to join in on the conversation,” continued Aphter. So as important as it is to talk, it is more important to listen, because if you do not, you can miss important information that your partner is trying
Life and dealing with loss is what defines us Dave Adams
staff writer d.adams@eaglemail.ceu.edu Life is funny sometimes when you look back. Even if you’re just out of high school, you can always look back on things that you have done and most of the time, you can even laugh over them. You’ve always been told that life is short, but how short is it and who determines how long? Some look at the religious aspect of it and say, “They’re in a better place” or “They’re with the angels” while others say, “It was just their time.” We all experience loss in our lives for one reason or another, that’s just how life rolls; it’s what we do when loss happens, that’s what defines us. Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be hard, even if the one wasn’t a loved one, it can take an unforeseen toll on a person. Talking helps and yes, you big tough guys, crying also is a form of true coping. Sometimes it can be hard to admit that we cry, but deep inside it’s an expression that the soul uses to show pain and anguish. A large part of my soul was torn out when I spent nearly
three years in a combat zone. During the span of three months, my unit in the U.S. Army, was the 3rd squadron 3rd Armored Cavaly and had taken 23 losses due to heavy combat action. Three of these soldiers were in my direct unit and one of the three was a very close friend named Lyle Cambridge. Mourning for these soldiers was the best way to cope with our loss, even though our morning period was short due to the circumstances we face. Being able to accept the fact that they were gone and there was nothing I could do to bring them back was one of the best ways to overcome the hurt and pain. Remembering them for who they were and their achievements in life was also a strong way to get through the mourning period. Everyone has his or her own way of coping and getting through the pain. There are many ways to do this, even if you have never had to deal with loss before. Except for turning to substance abuse, suicide or complete shut down, there really is no wrong way to cope with loss that I have seen; it’s whatever helps you cope and move on in life. Death plus death never equals solution. If there is one thing that I learned in life is that dying over the death of a loved one will never bring the loved one back to life. No matter how you look at it, more death will only bring more heartache and pain for the survivors.
Remembering a person for their attributes is a great way to move on with life. Memorials and shrines to remember a person for the good, is a wonderful way to say, “I will never forget you.” I have a memorial tattooed on my left forearm to help me remember my close friend that I lost in combat. The tattoo is of a feather with beads. Above it says, “Shik’is sila’ tsoi bena’sh’nii,” which translates from Navajo as “My friend, my brother, I remember.” This helps me always remember my Navajo friend and our closeness that we had while serving in the military. I can’t say that I’m a professional when it comes to how to deal with death, but I can say that I am a professional at how not to deal with it. There are many times when I look back in life and wished I had used the counseling offered to me. I do look at life as being short when I look to the past, but when I look forward, I see my life with the possibility of being long and prosperous.
Is there a difference between religions and cults? James Justice
staff writer j.justice@eaglemail.ceu.edu My favorite movie of all time is “The Princess Bride.” It’s a classic, a great action-adventure and love story. My most favorite parts in this movie are where Vezzini keeps saying the word, “inconceivable.” At one point on the top of the “Cliffs of Insanity,” Inigo stops him and says; “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” That one sentence sums up this opinion piece, but please continue to read. In article six of the U.S. Constitution it says, “No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.” Is a group of people showing intense devotion to a cause, person, or work, a definition of a cult or is that the definition of religion? What about, belief and trust in and loyalty to God, cult or religion? Lastly, a body of beliefs and practices regarding the supernatural and the worship of one or more deities. In the news lately we have heard about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints being called a “Cult.” Pastor
Robert Jeffress said, “The Southern Baptist convention, the largest Protestant denomination in the world, has officially labeled Mormonism as a Cult.” Let’s see now what a cult is defined as: a group of people showing intense devotion to a cause, person, or work. A body of beliefs and practices regarding the supernatural and the worship of one or more deities. A relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister. So clearly the LDS church, by these definitions, is a cult, but then so is every other religion on this planet. The word “Cult” isn’t by definition a bad word, when it is used properly. The problem is that this word “cult” has been associated with things like, The People’s Temple, lead by Jim Jones, whom led 918 people to suicide including 303 children. The Manson cult, the family which killed eight people over two days including Sharon Tate and her unborn baby. Or, The Heaven’s Gate cult, in which 39 people committed suicide. Let’s look at christianity as a cult by the above definition. Christianity has about two billion members in the world. That’s a big number, but taken as a whole, it’s only about 28 percent of the total population; thus meeting the third definition of a cult.
These who believe in christianity worship Jesus Christ, they believe he’s a God and supreme creator, clearly meeting the second definition of a cult. The first definition they meet easily; the cause is being good people, the person is Jesus Christ and the work is bringing people to Christ. Christianity by definition is a cult. Religion is defined as: a body of beliefs and practices regarding the supernatural and the worship of one or more deities. Belief and trust in and loyalty to God. Clearly Christianity and all churches in it fall under the title Religion; isn’t it funny how cult and religion are almost word for word defined the same? So, by definition, religions are cults, and cults are religions, think about that for while. I understand that the people of the LDS church might have been offended by the words of Pastor Robert Jeffress. Now that you know the definition, you should be quite flattered. Hey, you’re not alone; you’re part of a two-billion-member Christianity cult. Since this opinion piece has to do with people arguing over religion, calling people/religions names, etc. We need to realize how lucky we are to be in a land where freedom of expression and religion is still tolerated.
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