KEVIN O’BRIEN Editor-in-Chief
ANDY KNEIS
Managing Editor
CLAY COOPER
Managing Editor
CHELSEA STEVENS Opinions Editor
NOAH KELLY
Campus Director
KATY PARKER Literature Editor
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SIMONE HARRISON
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Music Editor & PR
CHRIS FABELA
Comics Editor
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MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN merm.union@gmail.com Culture Editor
JEFF BRIDGES
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CLAY COOPER
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Actor, Grunion Editor Art Director/Cover
JEFF CHANG
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CONNOR O’BRIEN
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Head Illustrator Photo Editor
CHRIS FABELA
On-Campus Distribution
ANDY KNEIS Web Editor
MARCO BELTRAN
A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR KEVIN O’BRIEN
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MARCO BELTRAN
Entertainment Editor & PR
KEVIN-SENT
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ISSUE 67.06
T
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
his past weekend our university hosted a high school speech and debate competition, and the Student Union was clogged with the acne-crusted, hair-gel-smeared and overly energetic teenager participants, and also my memories. I spent three of my formative high school years in speech and debate. Instead of sitting on the bench at football practice or embarrassing myself at school dances, my free time was frittered away behind a lectern, attempting to perfect the dramatic pause. In any high school speech and debate program you will find a few distinct types of people. There are the Ivy League hopefuls; they usually stick to the speech competitions for which they rigorously prepare themselves. They walk with purpose, matching each other’s stride perfectly in pantsuits and matching blouses. They are polite and discreet, and will most likely have to abandon their dreams of an elite private education and settle for a state school. Years later they will find themselves toiling away in a UC research lab with a dual bachelor’s de-
gree in Biology and Psychology and no reason to live whatsoever. Then there are the debate kids, their heads full of Law and Order reruns and West Wing DVDs. They tend to be overfed and curly-headed and always completely unaware that their confidence level far outpaces their physical appearance. Over the next few years this disparity will be made clear to them by girls, and upon realizing just how poorly they fit society’s mold, they will either retreat into themselves and toward a lifetime of obesity, or cut their hair, join a sport, lose the weight and begin to form a tolerable personality. Least tolerable, when I still participated in speech and debate, were the drama students. The only events open to them are the poetry reading competitions or short performances of sections of plays, and they are always poorly chosen and overacted. Their energy level was sickening. Their need for endless self-expression was unwarranted. They danced and skipped and air kicked their way from speech event to speech event and I would watch them and pray that they would
trip over a planter or a trashcan and destroy the bone structure of their faces on the concrete and be forced by their new deformity from the performing arts to spend the rest of their lives staring over their computer and into a cubical wall at a postcard of the Lion King musical, waiting for the day when they can retire to a life spent on the lower level of a Barnes and Noble. Also I can guarantee you that each of these kids thinks they look great in a suit, and the sad truth is that they don’t and won’t until they’re old enough to no longer enjoy wearing suits. Another factor binding these kids together is that they are kids; they’re all minors and as such, have no access to live music in Long Beach. This is the focus of our feature this week. It’s an interview conducted by our Culture Editor, Michael Mermerlstein, and our Managing Editor, Andy Kneis, with a few people who have a radical solution to the lack of underage venues in Long Beach. It’s informative, inspirational, and it might bring back some high school memories for you too; hopefully memories accompanied by less bile than mine.
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Advertising Executive
ALEX HATTICK
Contributors: MIKE PALLOTTA, SEAN BOULGER, VICTOR CAMBA, BRIAN NEWHARD, PARKER CHALMERS, LEO PORTUGAL, MATTHEW PALOZZI, COLLEEN BROWN, MATTHEW TOWLES, JANTZEN PEAKE, BRYAN WALTON, LUKE PERINE, JAMIE KARSON, LILY SEGURA, FOLASHADE ALFORD, ELISA TANAKA, JOHN HERRERA, LUCY NGUYEN, DEVIN O’NEIL, STEPHANIE HERNANDEZ, KEENAN MACINNES, JOE HAUSER, SOPHI MAISE, AARON KOSAKA, STEPHANIE PEREZ, JEFF BAER, DEREK KOSKO, MARCOS BARRON, COREY LEIS, LANDON DAVAULT, GABE FERREIRA, P.J KNEISEL, CHEYENNE DAY, STEVE BESSETTE, MARY FUHRMAN, RACHELE FRIEDLAND, DEVON GIEHI, LEO PORTUGAL, ALLISON O’DELL, JACKIE ROSAS, PATRICK MCNALLY, ADRIENNE SHULTZ, ALISON ERNST, LISA VAN WIJK, JANTZEN PEAKE, RICHARD LEVINSON, NICOLE STREET, JESSICA MEISELS, KELSEY WEHSELS, MAE RAMIREZ, JACKIE ROSAS, TANNER PARKER, KEVIN JORGE-CRUZ, CHRIS PAGE
Disclaimer and Publication Information
The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the writer, and are not necessarily the opinions of the Union Weekly, ASI, or of CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. All outside submissions are due by Thursday, 5 PM to be considered for publishing the following week and become property of the Union Weekly. Please include name, major, class standing, and phone number for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials and illustrations, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.
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MOON EDITOR
CAPRICORN Debbie Downer alert! Wittle babywhiner Capricorn is going to babywhine everyone to death this month. This is only a preview of what’s to come. What did you THINK was going to happen in 2012? AQUARIUS Figuring out your plans for Halloween may be a struggle this month, Aquarius, seeing as you’re juggling six different boyfriends, none of which knows about the others. The decision may prove too difficult to make and a night spent alone with your cats, petting those kitties a little too aggressively while Hoovering down some Smartees and fun size Kit Kats, is in the stars for the 31st. PISCES Money issues got you worried, Pisces? Good luck! ARIES The stars are telling you to stop being such a skeeze this month, Aries, but your natural Aries instincts and the anticipation of drunk skanks dressed in
their sexy nurse or sexy witch or sexy Xena (oxymoron?) costumes is telling you otherwise. TAURUS The stars have aligned as far as your social world goes. ~* DaNcE on dA tAbLe oN tHeSe NiGhtZ u WiLL NeVr ReMemBeR WiT fReNz yOuLL nEvr 4get *~ GEMINI You’re radiating beauty this month, Gemini! You’re on top of the world with all your endeavors. Nothing will go wrong for you this month. You’re basically shitting glitter. CANCER Your naturally superstitious nature allows for only one possible Halloween costume: Sylvia Browne! Best be gettin’ your research done with Accepting the Psychic Torch, by Sylvia herself. Maybe the Halloween cupid will even succeed in finding you your very own Montel. LEO Unfortunately, there is no horoscope for Leo. Everyone under this sign mysteriously died in the September heatwave from hell.
VIRGO Venus is in your 2nd House this month, Virgo, and you know what that means: too much candy and big fat ass. LIBRA You’ve been listening to entirely too much R. Kelly this month, Libra. SCORPIO You’ve got a lot on your mind this month, Scorpio, and you seek to share it with everyone on Facebook. However, the world really doesn’t have time for an hour-by-hour breakdown of your day, so shut the fuck up and read a book. SAGITARIUS Now is the time to take that trip. Call your dealer and make it happen. Ask Away!
Finished the paper but still have questions or comments, send them to the editor at kevinob.union@gmail.com!
UNION WEEKLY
4 OCTOBER 2010